Accept Responsibility

(Matt. 7:1-5; James 4:1-3, 6-12)

Conflicts can erupt suddenly and have lasting consequences.

The source of these conflicts lies within us

Carnal, selfish cravings

The Greek word that James uses to describe the desires that battle within us is
hedonoan. It’s where we get our modern word ’hedonism.’ The Webster’s
dictionary says that hedonism is "the doctrine that pleasure is the chief purpose of
life."

Own lust (James 1:14; 4:2-3; Titus 3:3; 1 Pe. 2:11; 2 Pe. 2:18; 1 John 2:16; Jude 1:16)

epithumeo {ep-ee-thoo-meh'-o} Gk. = desire, lust, longing, covetousness

Asserting our will

Envy and strife in the heart (James 3:14; 1 Tim. 6:4)

Covetousness (Mark 7:22)

Pride (Mark 7:22)

Vanity (2 Pe. 2:18)

Immaturity (1 Cor. 3:2-3)

Christians must be willing to acknowledge their responsibility for conflicts and work to
restore relationships.

Accountable: Subject to another or others. Open/transparent for sake of

achieving/maintaining/restoring spiritual purity and maturation. Involves a willingness to
accept criticism and being open to positive change.

We are all accountable to God (Rom. 14:12) and to each other.

Christians should avoid self-righteous judgment, hypocrisy and favoritism (Matt. 7:1;
Luke 6:37; Rom. 2:1-2)

krino {kree'-no} Gk. = pass judgment on, contend with

Jesus wasn’t saying we should never assess people with some discrimination, but rather
that we should not have a harsh, judgmental spirit. John Stott put it this way: "Jesus does
not tell us to cease to be men (by suspending our critical powers which help to distinguish
us from animals) but to renounce the presumptuous ambition to be God (by setting
ourselves up as judges)."
Dr. Louis Evans said, "For some reason, it is easier for us to jump to negative conclusions
about people, than it is to assume the best about them. When we do this, we ascribe to
them bad intentions, and evil purposes that may not be true. Inevitably, by judging them,
we attempt to justify ourselves. We seek to lift our reputation by lowering theirs, and
promote ourselves by demoting them!"

hupokrita {hu-po-krita} Gk. = actor, pretender

When we judge others, we act or pretend that we, like God, have the right, ability
and authority to judge others justly

Bertrand Russell capsulized hypocrisy when he said, "I am firm. You are obstinate. He’s
pig-headed. I have reconsidered. You have changed your mind. He’s gone back on his
word."

Biblical example of hypocrisy: in Genesis 38. Judah’s daughter-in-law Tamar had lost her
husband. Judah gave her another of his sons, but he wouldn’t cooperate in giving her a
child. Then he died and Judah wouldn’t give her his youngest son as the law demanded.
So Tamar did the only thing she could think of. When Judah announced he was going to
the market, Tamar dressed as a prostitute, she disguised herself, and seduced him,
becoming pregnant in the process. Later, when Judah learned that Tamar was pregnant
out of wedlock, he said, "Oh! This is terrible! Tamar must be killed!" So she walked out
and said, in essence, "That’s fine, but I want you to know that you’re the father."

There is a deadly reciprocity when we judge others, because our judgment inevitably
comes home to visit us. After David sinned with Bathsheba, Nathan brought a case to
David to judge. It was about a rich man with many sheep who stole the only ewe lamb of
a poor man. David was very angry, and his judgment against the thief was harsh: "As the
LORD lives, surely the man who has done this deserves to die." Then Nathan said, "You
are the man!" David's angry judgment blew up in his face.

Rather look to heal (Matt. 7:5) and forgive (Luke 6:37)

Just because another has different ways does not give us a right to judge or condemn
them (Rom. 14:3)

Only God has the right to judge others, for only God knows the whole truth of a matter
(Rom. 2:2; 1 Cor. 4:3-5) and is without sin Himself

"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Sam.
16:7).

"None is righteous, no, not one.” (Rom. 3:10)

In 1884, a young man died, and after the funeral his grieving parents decided to
establish a memorial for him. They went, and met with Charles Eliot, then
President of Harvard University. They told him of their desire to fund a memorial,
and quite shocked, Eliot asked, "Perhaps you have in mind a scholarship?" The
parents informed him that what they had in mind was along the lines of a special
building. In a patronizing tone, he passed it off, and brushed aside the idea as
being too expensive, and the couple left. The next year, Eliot learned that this
 plain couple, had gone elsewhere and established a $26 million dollar memorial
named Leland Stanford Junior University, known today as Stanford University!

How often do we make judgments as though we were God when we have little or
no understanding of people’s motives or circumstances. A grocery store clerk once
wrote to Ann Landers to complain about the people buying luxury food items with
food stamps. She said these people were lazy and wasteful.
In a later column, Landers printed the response of a woman who wrote in answer
to the judgmental grocery clerk. I’m the woman who bought the $17 cake and
paid for it with food stamps. I thought the check-out woman in the store would
burn a hole through me with her eyes. What she didn’t know is the cake was for
my little girl’s birthday. It will be her last. She has bone cancer and will probably
be gone within six to eight months.

But this does not mean that Christians should never judge anything. For example, in John
7:24, Jesus said, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous
judgment." In I John 4:1, John tells us not to believe every preacher that comes along, but
"test the spirits, whether they are of God."

Examples of biblical judging:

Paul - I Corinthians 5:1-2 - “It is actually reported that there is sexually immorality
among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father’s
wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have been filled with grief and have put
out of your fellowship the man who did this? In verse 11 Paul even says - “But now I am
writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is
sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With
such a man do not even eat.” At the end of verse 13 Paul says to “expel with wicket man
from among you.” 1 Timothy 5:19 - “Do not entertain an accusation against an elder
unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly,
so that the others may take warning.” 2 Timothy 3:16 - “All scripture is God-breathed and
is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training and righteousness. 1 John 4:1 -
“Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from
God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” Matthew 7:15 - “Watch
out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are
ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them.”

Humility withholds criticism.

Beware hatefulness and condemning words

Such will repel sinners instead of attracting them to the truth

We should not cause others to stumble (Rom. 14:13)