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Designed to Flourish aims to inspire, encourage and uplift the women of Hampton Roads.
Oh, virtuous daughter of the KING, your worth is far above rubies. You are a joint-heir with Christ. Beautifully and wonderfully made. You walk in wisdom and kindness and carry yourself with poise, dignity and compassion. You gird yourself with grace and strength; You extend your hand to the poor and needy. You are clothed in fine linen and purple. Wisdom and kindness are continually on your tongue. You fear the Lord and give Him praise with all you are. He gives you good gifts from His hand, and has called you as ROYALTY for such a time as this.
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Editors Note
But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever (Psalm 52:8).
Designed to Flourish Magazine is for Hampton Roads Christian singles, wives, moms, friends, daughters . . . women. It is for those aspiring to be all they were created to betheir most beautiful and fulfilled selves. It is for women who desire to sparkle with the light of Christ in their relationships, roles, finances, life goals and all areas of life. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). This includes being a Proverbs 31 woman!
224 Springbrook Lane Chesapeake, VA 23320 757-348-5664 iflourishonline.com Publisher/Executive Editor Kelly Head Senior Editor Cresta Shawver Design Director Nicole Knight Graphic Design Assistant Chanelle Holloman Flourish Ad Design Francisco Afanador, Chanelle Holloman Senior Copyeditor Belinda Elliott Editorial Assistants Elizabeth Bergman and Pam Floyd Contributing Writers Jennifer Avis, Rebecca Brittingham, Theresa Ceniccola, Penny Crowell, Belinda Elliott, Kelly Head, Nathalie Jeter, Pam Johnson, Phyllis Johnson, Jacqueline Maples, Dr. Linda Mintle, Lisa Marshall, Cresta Brooke Shawver, Amy Volk, Jenn Wakefield and Joy Wansley Photographer Keith Cephus Special Thanks All the wonderful supporters, advertisers and contributors. Thank you!
Designed to Flourish Magazine is published six times a year by Flourishing Media, LLC. No portion may be reproduced without the written consent of the publishers. The opinions of the contributing writers do not necessarily reflect those of the publishers. Flourishing Media LLC, assumes no liability for products, services or statements made by advertisers. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertisements that do not meet the publications standards.
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In This Issue
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Editors Note: Do you know that youre a princess? Perspectives: Live Good Minutes Joys of Style: Accessories bring out your holiday party sparkle and shine Lindsay Cates: Divinly inspired to make childrens jewelry that lasts Smart Cents: Gift buying on a budget Calvary Revivals Pastor Janeen McBath. Flourish gets up close with the Lady behind the pastor Mintle Heath: Cherish the gift you already have. Flourish Fitness expert Lisa Marshall tells us how to keep weight gain at bay this season. Flourish Profiles: Two local writers share hope for love and life in their new books. Simplified Living: Top ten holiday de-stress tips Let it glow winter skincare solutions Mompreneur: Five Sunday Strategies for work-at-home moms balancing faith and family
ABouT THE CoVEr ArTiST
Joella Skilleter is predominately a self-taught artist. For many years, she focused her attention on watercolors, as it suited her nomadic lifestyle. After settling in new Zealand for a number of years, she began to explore the acrylic medium. in recent years, she has developed an interest in painting during times of worship and prayer. Joella currently resides in the united States. you can explore her range of paintings at www.joellaskilleter.com
HElP uS SPrEAD THE miniSTry of DESiGnED To FlouriSH! Please pick up extra copies and pass them along to the women in your life. our goal is to steward the copies by getting them directly into the hands of the Christian women of Hampton roads. Also, are we available at your church, Christian conference, Bible study or other event? We would love to be! Email iflourish@cox.net. WE ArE lookinG For PEoPlE WiTH A HEArT For THE CHriSTiAn WomEn oF our CommuniTy.
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Had she never been born. Second generation holocost survivor Linda Olmerts heartwrenching story.
Single? Hurting? Some ways to add the happy back into your holidays. Family Traditions: Creating Shining Family Moments Local moms share what they do to make happy holiday memories
Palette: Pass the cheese, please. How to throw an elegant cheese party Fun, budget-conscious handcrafted gifts The Flourish: Wide-eyed with wonder Knowing who you are as a daughter of God
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Good Minute
By Pam Johnson
Rushing through life a few years ago, I picked up my ringing phone at my office and said a cheerful, Good minute. The caller responded with a confused chuckle. Good minute? Realizing the humor in my accidental greeting, I told the caller, I thought I was going day by day, but I think the Lord is calling me to minute by minute! We both laughed at the idea, and the caller went on with his day. But for me, a seed was sown, and I have pondered the thought since that conversation. Life has a way of coming at us fast . . . full speed, non-stop. Everyone is going for all the gusto we can get, making every day count, multitasking our way from one project to the next, writing our to-do list and checking it twice. We never miss an opportunity and make sure to be the best at everything we do, all the timeto our families, our church, our husband, children, friends, career, coworkersand the days fly by. Even our children are saying, Where has the time gone? Instead of each new day being filled with good minutes, we may find ourselves just rushing through to reach the completion of each goal/task that we are undertaking. Whether it is large or small accomplishments (i.e. raising our children versus finishing a project for our employer), if we are not careful we will get to the end of the journey and realize we have missed the most important part . . . enjoying and savoring each moment. Everyone needs a reminder to take life in small increments. We should take a minute to be aware of our emotional state and not rush through life with a huge stress load. Our attitudes and actions during the minutes of each day can change peoples lives, including our most important relationships. With a heart purposed to making good minutes, we will be more cognizant to share the joys of life with others as well as an awareness of the stress, the pain and the overload that others may be enduring. Walking with such an attitude will create a joy and peace for us that cannot help but radiate to others. A smile to a stranger walking past us, a larger than usual tip for a meal to a server who may be having a bad day, a word of encouragement, a card sent to a friend, or a call or text just to say, Im thinking about you. All of these things take less than a minute, yet you can change the course of a life by making the minutes of your life good ones! The world will be a different place if we all decide to answer the calls of our life one minute at a time. Are you willing? When you get to the end of your life , will it be filled with the results of good minutes? Can look back and say, I really enjoyed my journey Lord! He will say, Well done my good and faithful servant! May I suggest He will also say, Well lived my friend! Lets make all of our minutes good minutes!
Pam is a highly skilled and caring realtor who helps people make their housing dreams a reality. Get in touch with Pam for a good minute at pamjohnson@cox.net.
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Joys of Style
Joy Wansley
Happy Holidays!
Flourishs resident fashionista, Joy Wansley has a passion for fashion and an eye for style whether vintage or new. Her Joys of Style will entice you and transform your thinking about how the world of fashion can be fun! Joy is a 20-year professional in the fashion/retail industry in areas of styling, merchandising, buying, sales, leadership, management, operations, brand marketing, coaching, staff development and consulting.
as there a necklace during your childhood that you loved dearly but didnt last long enough? Sadly, for me that was too often the case. I remember having cross necklaces with chains that either broke soon after I got them or they knotted up beyond untangling. For years, childrens jewelry was something that didnt stand the test of time. Imagine finding jewelry for your little girl that is not only beautiful but also durable. Virginia Beach resident Lindsey Cates, creator of Aidah Jewelry, has succeeded in making such a line for children. Beginning her studies in the craft in Florence, Italy, she got her degree in metalsmithing/jewelry at Old Dominion University. Her skill and interest in the subject has grown over time and expanded to include pieces for those of a more tender age. With the philosophy that children should have the same level of quality in their accessories as adults, she designed a jewelry line to complement any young girls wardrobe of play and dress clothes. Using her God-given gift of jewelry making, she wanted to bring dignity to the concept of childrens jewelry. I designed this line inspired by my daughter, Aidah. Now three and a half, she chooses my beautiful, well-made designs over the cheaply made jewelry often available in stores. She cares for it the way I would, instead of letting it lie broken and unused in a toy box, explained Lindsey. The name Aidah was selected for my jewelry line because its both my daughters and my grandmothers name. It actually means to adorn. My tagline is to adorn, a lucky coincidence. Emphasizing the point that with Gods
unique design, children all have styles of their own, she further adds that her jewelry pieces capture the childs creative essence for those from age three and up. Her necklaces and bracelets can last beyond childhood for years to come and, in time, becoming mementos of youth. Quality conscious, Lindsey ensures that if an item breaks because of the construction, shell be happy to replace it. This is jewelry that your child is sure to cherish for years to come. She puts a lot of time and thought into each piece and thanks God for the talent and skills shes been given. Its important for mothers to be in touch with the gifts God gave them. My business has given me the opportunity to be an example to my children as a light in the marketplace. Lindseys desire is for her children and other mothers to pursue Gods plan for them. Having my children see me fulfilled in the creative gift God gave me is important to me. I want them to pursue Gods will for their lives too. I also hope to inspire mothers to follow their dreams and pursue them, whether its learning to play a new instrument, learning a second language, starting a new business or finding their identities in Christ. Lindsey plans to contribute to nonprofit organizations supporting women and children. I want to be in touch with the Holy Spirit and listen as He guides me on how best to use my gift. Theres no greater joy than to personally know the Potter who is forming this clay.
Phyllis Johnson is a local author and photojournalist. She has five books to her credit, including four poetry books and a co-written suspense noveltitled, inkBLOT. www.phyllisjohnson.net
Among local jewelry designer Lindsay Cates fashions are a necklace and bracelet set named Rock Candy. This design is a rainbow blend of non-toxic wooden beads and a red and amber cut glass bead Lindsey describes as a candy feast for tiny eyes. Necklaces measure about fourteen and a half inches and bracelets are about six inches in length. My necklaces should fit your child whether shes three years old or nine or ten. Just remember to measure before you order, said Lindsey, and make sure you measure for bracelets, too. Visit aidahjewelry.com for more information.
$mart
ents
Penny Crowell
I love Christmas, but feel disappointed in January when the bills come in from the spending and I wonder if my family even remembers what they received. What could I do differently this year?
It is not uncommon to feel this way. There is so much hype in December about shopping and getting quantity (not necessarily quality). When people subscribe to the hype they often feel disappointed after the holiday and feel determined to do it different next year. Well next year is here! So here are some suggestions to do things different this time: day as a family. My sister-in-law has five children, so instead of buying each of them a gift, weve taken them all out for a nice meal and then gone bowling together, or one year we all went to Color Me Mine and each of them chose something to paint. It was a great way to spend time together, plus they now have something to remember the day with. If you want to start teaching your children about money and investing, buy a stock from a company that theyre interested in like Disney or Wrigley. That way every time they watch a Disney movie or buy a Disney toy or chew a piece of Wrigley gum, theyll be reminded that they own the company and remember your gift. Or you could start a savings account for them or buy a savings bond. These types of gifts are teaching tools throughout the year. One client of mine wanted to leave a legacy for her grandchildren and wanted them to remember her each year . . . even after she was gone. So she purchased a life insurance policy that earns cash value for each of her grandchildren on their birthdays.
That way every year on the grandchilds birthday for the rest of his/her life, hell get an annual statement on his account and will remember his grandmother who purchased that for him. She said it was like being able to give a gift to her grandchildren every year of their lives . . . even though she wouldnt be around to celebrate with them. You could use that idea as a Christmas gift instead of birthday. I think the key to avoiding the big financial let down after Christmas is to create a budget and stick to it! Whether you choose to implement any of the above ideas or you decide to just go for the big quantity of stuff again this year, as long as you stick to your budget, you will feel better. And heres an idea for next year: Save a little each month, so in December you can pay cash and not rack up credit card bills. Or buy a couple of gifts each month and store them so by December most of your shopping is finished and you can relax and enjoy the season and create those family memories. Lastly, and most importantly, remember the real reason for the season. It really isnt about all those gifts anyway. Its really about the most precious gift ever given, Jesus Christ. Yes, Christmas is almost here and now it is next year . . . so what are you going to do differently this year?
Penny Crowell is a Registered Principal and offers securities and investment advisory services through MML Investors Services, LLC., Member SIPC. Supervision Office: 222 Central Park Avenue, Suite 1100, Virginia Beach, VA 23462 (757) 490-9041
Give things that keep giving all year instead of a gift that is opened once: Tickets to a Broadway show, annual passes to your familys favorite amusement park, family membership to a local museum or zoo. Create family memories instead of buying stuff: Go ice skating together, take a trip to NYC to take in all the Christmas decorations and shows. They dont have to be expensive trips; weve created some memories like going hiking on Christmas Eve
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Consider involving your family in making gifts for loved ones and friends instead of purchasing gifts.
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Janeen L. McBath | co-pastor of calvary Revival church ceO/President of Lady J enterprises, LLc | President and ceO of house of esther Ministries Owner of the Queens chamber clothing boutique and Private Moments Day Spa
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Some 20 years ago, Janeen McBath followed her husbands lead to move hundreds of miles away from their home in Tennessee and begin a church in a land she had never before visitedNorfolk, Virginia. Though unsure of her specific part in the new ministry, Janeen believed with her husband, Courtney, that God was sending their family to begin what is now Calvary Revival Church, one of the largest and fastest-growing churches in the region. Upon moving to Hampton Roads and settling into her role as co-pastor, Janeen had some tough decisions to make. She had long dreamed of a career in the fashion industry, but knew that God had called her to stay at home with her children, placing her dreams of working in the fashion and business arenas on hold. Parenting takes a lot of work and patience, says Janeen. She realized early on that each of her five children was different and had different gift mixes. Raising them was her number one priority. I had to let a lot of jobs go because I felt that staying home with my kids was what I needed to do at that time. Managing a seven-member household is no easy feat, and Janeen laughs as she recalls leaving her infant son on the kitchen table in his car seat while the rest of the family left for church. Thankfully, she and her husband quickly realized their hilarious error, and the baby was spared an afternoon of being left home alone. Living in the McBath household was a lot of fun. Were really big on family outings and just spending quality family time together. Our house was and still is always filled with kids, Janeen states. We make home fun. Parenting her five children also came with some hardships such as when her children became teenagers and sometimes challenged the values of their Christian upbringing. I heard my own mothers voice when Janeen explained to me the response she gave her children: This is not so-and-sos house, and thats not how we do things here. Thankfully, her hard work and patient dedication has paid off. To date, her oldest son is a working Hollywood actor, her daughter and son-inlaw recently welcomed a baby and are active leaders in the familys church, her third son just graduated college and is working in his field, and her two youngest boys are in college. The godly woman will make her family her first priority. If you look at the biblical pattern for women, they always took care of their husbands and children first. And ladies, you cant do it all by yourselves! Even the Proverbs 31 woman had help! Pastor Janeen reminded me. This is true, check it out for yourself. That woman had servants, managers and surely a housekeeper. Whether a woman works full time outside of her home or chooses to stay at home, the makings of a godly woman are the same: family first. Now that her children are grown and dont require as much of her time, Pastor Janeen is now free to pick up those dreams from 20 years ago. Enter Lady J. Lady J owns two businesses, a clothing boutique appropriately named The Queens Chamber and Private Moments Day Spa, a full-service spa parlor. She also is the President and CEO of House of Esther Ministries, a non-profit maternity home she founded along with her husband to help unwed teenage mothers facing crisis pregnancies.
Its all about timing. I know this is my season now, remarks Janeen. When shes not busy taking care of her home, helping to lead her church or managing her businesses, Lady J likes to simply relax with a cup of Chai tea (one pump of vanilla, please!) and just be herself. She loves to read, hang out and participate in sports. Shes even recently taken up golf (as evident by the golf attire she wore on our interview). Anyone who knows Lady J knows that not only is she a lover of fashion, but she is a woman of prayer. Being a pastors wife, you cant necessarily share everything with everybody, but I know I can always talk to God. Ive found him to be such a friend. Prayer and meditation are a great means of solitude for me, she reflects. At the end of the day, Lady J wants to be known as a woman who gave her life and energy to helping people become their best. She feels her legacy is to help others birth their dreams. And that, in a nutshell, is the call of every mother, wife, leader and pastor. There is more than meets the eye with Janeen McBath, for behind the pastor and businesswoman extraordinaire is a lady of great wisdom, love and purpose.
Favorite Scripture: Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap (Galatians 6:7, NASB). Best advice for marriage: Communicate and dont be afraid to get help.
Keep things in the open and never stop talking. Many couples fail at marriage because of a breakdown in communication. They stop talking, stop praying and have little to no accountability. Christian couples must realize ministry cant come before your marriage.
Number one fashion tip: I believe Christian women should be beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside. Every woman should have a nice pair of shoes (or two!) and a bottle of cologne. Favorite family holiday tradition: Christmas! I go all out with the
decorations and cook a huge meal. I love Christmas because I can spend my husbands money and give even more!
Holidays are a great time to bring people together. Put down the defenses, and use this time to love each other in spite of your differences. Be sure to make great memories, and relax and laugh a little. Be Christlike by accepting each others differences.
Tips for getting along with family members during the holidays:
Dana Williams lifes passion is to seebroken people restored. She is currently working on young adult novelstouching on social justice issues and inspiring readers to renew hope in God.Dana resides in Virginia Beach with her husband and four children.
Mintle Health
For years, my children did not know there was a large shopping bag overstuffed with presents secretly stashed away in my bedroom closet. By the time December hit, I had a mountain of bargain finds, admired goodies and technical toys to die for tucked away on a shelf. My preplanned efforts spread the financial burden throughout the year and helped avoid the last minute holiday shopping rush. Sounds like a plan, right? Well something happened years ago that made me rethink my supposedly genius strategy. Buying throughout the year, I lost track of how much I accumulated. It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, but I felt like a louse! As I gazed at the packages all in a row, I was aghast! The tree looked bulimic due to my past. I slumped to the floor and grabbed hold of my man, We have only two children. Theres enough here for ten! We stared at the swollen pile of goodies. One by one we picked through the pile. This present can wait for a birthday, this one for next Christmas, this one for a special reward . . . finally, after a great deal of triage, the stack looked sensible. That year, we made a decision. Christmas gifts were limited to three types: 1) A gift desired 2) Something needed 3) Something educational. Of course, our children hated the idea and hoped that we would eventually come to our senses. We havent, and weve seen a change. No longer is Christmas an endless list of wants with a focus on how much someone gets. As I listen to teens move through the hallways of our home, I hear the chatter of more. Not only is the meaning of Christmas grossly distorted but materialism creates ungrateful kids. So this holiday season, consider changing your focus. Instead of a new gaming system, take your kids to a soup kitchen and let them serve. Visit a homeless shelter or a hospital childrens ward and put things in perspective. I know that what I am saying isnt new, but most of us need to be reminded about our tendency to overindulge. Whether it is food, enjoyment or shopping, we live in a culture that reinforces the need for more. As we examine what motivates us to spend, we can ask, is it related to guilt from being absent or unavailable, an attempt to communicate love, a competitive attitude with others, a way to garnish an identity and look successful, materialism, a lack of self-restraint, and/or misguided thinking? As I watch children quickly open disposable presents and throw them off to the side without even a thank you, I know something is very wrong. When little Suzie tells me Christmas was no fun because she didnt get what she wanted, I think, the Grinch hasnt stolen Christmas, our ungratefulness has. Christmas is about God giving His Son as a glorious gift to mankind. Dont clutter that gift with so many others that the important gift becomes lost in the fray.
Dr. Linda Mintle is a licensed marriage and family therapist who has been in clinical practice for over 30 years. She is a best-selling author whose latest book is Letting Go of Worry (see page 11.) Follow her on Facebook (Dr Linda Mintle, author and speaker), Twitter (drlinadhelps) and her daily blog on Beliefnet.com (Doing Life Together). For more about Dr. Linda, check out her website-- www.drlindahelps.com.
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Flourish Profiles: Princesses Dont Get Cancer offers hope and help
While showering one day, Hope Jordan discovered a lump in her breast. Her first thought: But princesses dont get cancer. Like so many other women, she saw her life as a fairy tale. As her diamond tiara washed down the drain, Hope readied herself for a heroic battle that had the potential to end her fairy tale and her life. Princesses Dont Get Cancer tells Hopes story, but from the perspective of the health battle shared by many families. Breast cancer is the second most diagnosed form of cancer detected in women. Diagnosis, treatment and healing are long processes, but they are also opportunities for personal growth, as Hope quickly discovered. Faith and humor carried her through her process, along with endless optimism. Hopes difficult journey is chronicled in her book, as she addresses practical issues from choosing a doctor and buying a wig to reactions of family and friends and how they dealt with watching a loved one suffer through sickness. Cancer is a long, thorny path. It is true, we cannot choose our paths in life, but we can choose how we respond to difficulties we face. Hope Jordan stands by her mantra of holding tight to good people and good experiences, while keeping God at the center of it all! Hope Jordan has over 30 years of experience in the field of education and has or co-authored several articles and books. She is currently a professor at Regent University. However, she considers her most important roles to be those of wife, mother, grandmother and survivor. If you have had a recent diagnosis and are navigating all the thoughts and feelings associated with it, this book can bring encouragement, hope and help as you make sense of it all. Princesses Dont Get Cancer is available through Crossbooks for $10.99 (crossbooks.com).
I want readers to walk away knowing that they are not alone in this world.
drlindahelps.com
You take care of everyone else. Whos taking care of you? Optimum Life Fitness
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Its the most wonderful time of the year! Need some pointers in how to have that fresh, rosy, holiday glow?
T Use a skincare product that has fruit enzymes or a mild AHA (Alpha Hydroxy Acid) in it. Dull, dry skin will gently slough off. Remember the key word here is mild. Leave the higher percent peels to the professionals. T Though it may be a countdown until the holidays, remember not to skip over using your moisturizer on a daily basis. Skin needs that hydration to keep it supple. Summer may be gone, but dont forget the SPF. T H20cant get enough! Its always the answer for dehydration. During this busy season grab a bottle of water for the internal and a hydrating toner for the external. Keep it in your purse and mist your skin often, it will thank you. So will your makeup application from earlier. No dry creases here! T How about working that body for just 15 minutes? Slip on those sneakers and go. Do some light stretching in the morning and take a brisk walk. The blood is pumping, circulation is going, and before you know it your body is pulsating with life. T Spend time daily with your Heavenly Father for He knew you before He fearfully and wonderfully formed you in your moms womb (Jeremiah 1:5). His thoughts are precious toward you and outnumber the sand (Psalm 139:17-18). But wait, there is more . . . T Meditate on the brightest glow of all, Jesus. Remember the Light of the World and the time of His entry 2,000 years ago. Take daily time with Him and enter into the presence of His Holy Spirit. So sing every day to this Great Lover of your soul. Find that song in your heart and let it out! Dont you know you are a bride in the making? And we all know how brides glow. Remain in the presence of His sweet Spirit this holiday season as your lives emanate Him. let it glow, let it glow, let it glow!
Jacqueline Maples is the owner of The Well Watered Garden bringing her skincare expertise to the Hampton Roads area. Looking for that rosy glow for your skin? Check her out at: www.thewellwateredgarden.net.
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Start your holiday planning in late October or early November. Using your holiday calendar, carefully consider all the invites you receive and say yes to only those that dont add stress to your life. Map out times you can shop, times you can bake and cook, times you will set aside to spend with relatives and neighbors, and times to make preparations. Pick the week you will decorate and do a little each day. As always, saying yes to less and no to more will significantly lessen the stress of a high demand season.
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Simplified Living LLC founder Amy Volk has a passion for creating beautiful, clutter-free homes and corporate environments. She helps people learn to live more simply. Visit her at www.simplifiedliving.org.
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Mompreneur
Theresa Ceniccola
As a mom and an entrepreneur, taking a day off is not in my nature. I dont have time for a day off. Heck I dont even have time to eat sitting down! When I wake up with a scratchy throat, my first reaction is a panic prayer: Dear God, please dont let me be sick I dont have time for this! Often I get so absorbed in the urgency of my responsibilities, that slowing down seems like giving up. But keeping holy the Sabbath day is actually a habit that helps me recharge and prepare for the week to come. Here are five simple strategies I use to make the most of my weekly day of rest. (If your business requires you to work on Sunday, then try implementing these strategies another day of the week!) SCREEN-FREE SuNDAY: The rule in our house on Sunday is to unplug. This means no computer, no TV (except during football season or the Tour de France), no Nintendo DS, no Blackberry surfing or any other activity that involves a screen. Its a huge challenge for me, and I certainly have been known to make exceptions. (Thats my way of saying I break the rule!) But I try to honor the basic principle that Sundays are for connecting F2F (face to face). By unplugging on Sunday, I give myself permission to not respond immediately. I revoke the self-imposed edict that requires me to drop everything and answer a text message or reply to an email. Its a liberating feeling to ignore that vibrating Blackberry and know that the world will not fall apart. Like starting a new workout routine, its painful at first, but after awhile it becomes a welcome habit. SuNDAY SuMMIT: Many people go through life on autopilot, moving from task to task, job to job, activity to activity . . . without giving much thought to how they are living their lives or why they are making certain choices. One simple strategy I use to ensure that I am living with awareness and purpose is to hold a weekly meeting to reflect and planfirst with myself, then with my family. The Sunday Summit phrase comes from my mentor Christine Kane, and I love how it keeps me in the routine of planning for the week. I set aside 30 minutes on Sunday morning to journal about the week that has passed and any thoughts, feelings or plans for the week ahead. My journal usually takes the form of prayers in which I thank the Lord for the blessings of the previous week and ask for courage, wisdom and grace to take on the challenges of the coming week. I consider my business goals for the week and jot them down in my business journal. At dinnertime, I also review the calendar with my family, making sure everyone knows what is on the schedule so there are no last-minute surprises. We discuss the transportation schedule, childcare arrangements, errands, assignments, special occasions or activities for the week. SuNDAY SAFEGuARD: Sundays have traditionally been a family day for me, but as my children grow older, it becomes more difficult to honor that tradition. Other than church, there are not any routine Sunday commitments on the calendar. But inevitably we receive an invitation to a birthday party, a family gathering, a meeting or some other activity. The temptation is to accept all of these invitationshow could we possibly say no when we dont have any other plans? But heres the thing: its good to have no plans once a week. Its rewarding and rejuvenating to simply enjoy togetherness and nothingness for one afternoon a week.
Theresa Ceniccola empowers entrepreneurial moms to build profitable businesses with wisdom and grace. If you are ready to go the distance in your business while remaining true to your values of faith and family, grab your FREE copy of The Ten Commandments of a Christian Mompreneur at www.TheChristianMompreneur.com.
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The key to safeguarding family time is to learn the art of saying no with grace and clarityand without guilt. This doesnt mean I turn down every Sunday invitation, but it enables me to examine each event with a critical eye. I ask myself: Does this event support my goals to spend Sunday time as a family? Will this event cause additional stress in my life? Oftentimes, I realize that my reasons for attending have more to do with obligation than with anything else. As long as I keep in mind my priority of protecting family time, I am able to decline invitations that do not serve our family for whatever reason. My personal Say No Without Guilt process is this: Make a decision and respond quickly. Most of the time, I know right away if we are able to attend. If I wait to respond, the decision becomes a drain on my mental energyand it usually doesnt change my response. Do not feel pressure to explain. A simple, graceful no, thank you is all that is required. The more reasons I share, the more they begin to sound like excuses. Be very clear. If I know for certain that I dont plan to attend, I am clear in my language when I decline. I dont leave it open by saying, Well try to stop by or Can we play it by ear? This only creates false expectations and more negative energy for me to carry around. Dont worry. Be happy. With clarity and purpose, I can gracefully decline any invitation. But I need to let go of the reaction of others. I cant waste valuable energy worrying about what others think of my decision. If Ive made the choice based on my personal and family priorities, I take heart in knowing that I am honoring this time as a family. Dont look back. Once I make a decision, I am confident in my choice. Even if I am disappointed, I let go of the belief that I am missing out on something. And I have faith that there will always be another invitation. SuNDAY SOLITuDE: With all the free time I create by turning off my computer and keeping my schedule open, I am able to find time for myself. As a busy mom of three, I treasure any time I spend alone. So every Sunday, I carve out a few minutes of solitude to journal, read a good book, practice yoga, get a pedicure or take a bath. My favorite solo activity is sleeping in. SuNDAY FuNNIES: When I was a child, I loved reading the funny pages. My favorite cartoons were Family Circus and Cathy. (Perhaps that says something about my life path! ) Nowadays I dont always read the Sunday paper until later in the week, but the gift of the comics is in the laughter therapy. So I create an opportunity to laugh on Sundaysperhaps its a family outing or a game. I know I am biased, but I happen to think my kids are the funniest people on the planet. And my husband is hilarious in his own way. So spending time with them always leaves me doubled over with laughter, which relieves stress better than any massage. So, next Sunday, when you are trying to decide if you should run to the grocery store or finish that proposal youve been working on, imagine yourself insteadquietly writing in your journal or laughing with your kids. If you think you dont have time for it, I encourage you to give it a try anyway. You may discover the benefits of a Simple Sunday.
Theresa Ceniccola is the Christian Mompreneur a mentor to Moms Running a Business that Supports Faith and Family. Read her inspiring ezine: www.theresaceniccola.com.
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These people, the ones that did survive lost everything that a human being has to lose. They lost their property and families, and faith in human beings.
Even the holiday seasons ushered in loneliness. Mealtimes were often cold, dark and quiet. Even the abundance of good food could not replace the fact that Linda was starving for affection from her parents. Linda reflects back to a family gathering, Her parents were there physically, but were living in memories of family that had been lost in another world, she said. attempt to keep the stories and truth alive in an effort to see peace come to her nation. Many years ago, Linda would never have dreamt that she would speak to Christians. Nor would she have imagined that Christians and Jews could stand together in one accord. Linda always had the impression that Christians were determined to either convert or completely
LEFT Insets: Young Haim Rozamity and Rivka Rozmaity. Above: Linda Olmert and her parents Haim and Rivka.
what surprised me most was how much hatred they have had to fight against. It is time for Christians and Jews to stand together in unity. He is calling us to stand with Israel, the apple of Gods eye. I believe that today, our greatest defense against radical Islamic persecution is to stand in the gap through prayer for Israel and show our support. When we choose to support Israel, we are not only embracing a country dear to the Lords heart, but we are also embracing Gods biblical mandate to support His chosen people!
Jennifer Brittingham is a Regent University Journalism student who visited Israel last summer with Eagles Wings ministry. She desires to see the Lord's will done in the Nations, especially Israel.
C h r i s t i a n
L e a d e r s h i p
t o
C h a n g e
t h e
W o r l d
Regent University is accredited by the Commission on Colleges of the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools to award associates, baccalaureate, masters, and doctorate degrees. Contact the Commission on Colleges at 1866 Southern Lane, Decatur, Georgia 30033-4097 or call 404.679.4500 for questions about the accreditation of Regent University. Regent University admits students without discrimination on the basis of race, color, disability, gender, religion or national or ethnic origin. Regent University is certified by the State Council of Higher Education for Virginia to operate campuses within the Commonwealth of Virginia. COU110540
VOLUNTEER
If you are looking to give to those in need this holiday season, it will bless you as much as those whom you serve. Here are some places you may want to call to see about volunteering this holiday season.
Hampton Veterans
757-625-6161
Union Missions Ministry
757-627-8686
Food Bank of SE Hampton Roads
757-314-4576
M.E.X Cox Center for Elder Day Care
757-340-4388
USO Holiday Party for Military families
757-764-5232
Hoffler Creek Wildlife Foundation
757-686-8684
Life Builders Inc
757-952-6236
The Ronald McDonald House of Norfolk
757-627-5386
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SometimeS you juSt need a helping hand. thankfully, angel Care iS there.
When sisters Susan and Dottie Unger* first met their Angel from Angel Care Private Duty Nursing Services, they were badly in need of some relief. The ladies were ragged after months of caring for mom and dad, whose declining health had them both bedbound and in need of constant care. The daughters were loving and very helpful, but just needed a break for their own mental health. Thats when someone told them about Angel Care. Susan and Dottie were amazed that they could just call the day before for services and didnt even have to be committed to a contract or set number of hours! They were also very grateful and relieved to find someone they could trust. Angel Care gave them the break they desperately needed. Then, a few months later, mom passed away. It was hard on the sisters, but they also were very stressed about who would stay with their father the day of the funeral. Again the sisters rang for an Angel. Later they expressed how they couldnt have asked for better service. The caregivers are just so caring and professional. We will definitely refer others to Angel Care -- Dottie and Susan Unger.
*names changed to protect privacy
Joyce Elliot, LPN Serving Virginia Beach, Chesapeake, Norfolk, Portsmouth & Suffolk Office: 757-480-2929 Cell: 757-621-0072
Jenny Avis
Diamonds
Rough:
With so much glitz and glory on every corner, it is a challenge for any mother to keep her household grounded in the true spirit of the season. How does one make the simple things shine brighter than the enticing commercials, which lead to a boatload of Christmas treasure under every tree? The answer lies in Revelation 21:11: Having the glory of God. Her radiance like a most rare jewel, like a jasper, clear as crystal. Thankfulness, togetherness and humbleness are the dusty gems that mom so desperately wants to make brilliant during the holidays. First, she considers her family traditions. They are moments, hours and even days shining in her heart. They are actions, objects or trinkets that bring the best out of everyone, making the season brighter. Mom knows all of nathalie Jeter Photo Courteosy too well that ritual and tradition are her answers despite extra traffic, longer lines and grumpy people coming out of the woodwork. Mom knows that the value within each ritual comes from what it provides for her home. Family traditions are the diamonds in the rough; the very things that are timeless, delivering everlasting joy. According to Meg Cox in The Book of New Family Traditions, Family rituals are things families do over and over as a way to celebrate over time. Rituals build bonds and actively define relationships. The old clich mom knows best is true when mom plans, or schedules or prompts these personal traditions, which intensify family ties. Family rituals and traditions are in many ways the key to remembering why the Lord sent His only Son. They make a strong environment that observes peace, love and hopethe very conditions that bring us the brightest of diamonds, Jesus Christ. As a mother of three young children, I constantly strive to seek out family treasures, particularly during the holidays. I always find them in the little things we do. To the rest of the world, they may be simple. To us, they are priceless indeed. My husband and I have transferred old, traditional favorites from Photo Courteosy of a Flourish Reader when we were growing up to practicing them with our children. I still make Dads sugar cookies, and all the children still decorate them however messy and overly sweet they may be. My husband still reads The Night Before Christmas after Christmas Eve Mass. And we always sing Happy Birthday to Jesus before opening our gifts on Christmas morning. Our holiday list goes on and on, old and new, and it brings me great joy to know everyone in our home thinks tradition is important. Everyone participates. Everyone shines. Thats what counts! In these modern times when there is barely enough time to
Jennifer Avis is the author of Morty the Meerkat has Autism. She has a M.S. Ed with a post graduate degree from The Institute of Childrens Literature. Devoted wife and mom, she writes for children and their families. You can find her humble blog Memoirs of a Challenge on Facebook, written for The Elijah Foundation.
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sage(mother of 3) Chesapeake
My husband is real big on Christmas lights. It takes him a whole day! Weve now s recruited all the kids to help out and it e become a big event in our home. I mak rds a pot of something warm, then afterwa nt for we all go out to a nearby restaura warm, yummy desserts as a family.
We have a blessing book . Its a journal thats been spruced up by my sister, the artistic one. Every year, we think of three blessings tha t have graced our families. We then write them in the book . Its fun to look back and see all the blessings from years before too!
It is tradition for each family member to write something they are deeply thankful for. We write our personal messages on paper and place them in a box. At Thanksgiving, each prayer of thanks is read aloud. Every year, it is the center of attention and conversation at our table.
nify norfolk Mary (mother of 5)g, everyone gets a quote in their cupdto sig our Every Thanksgivin read them aloud to each other, an a glass half full. We lifted afterwards. spirits are always up
e as Every year, we spend tim s help. The children help find a family who need t year, and also go decide who we will help tha en we deliver them to with us to choose gifts. Th en remember what the family. It helps our childr mas is, but also instills the true meaning of Christ helping people in in them the importance of not just once a year. need, whenever possible,
We set up our Spirit Tree about a week before Thanksgiving. Each decoration is white, and there is an open-winged dove at its pinnacle to signify peace, hope and love. It twinkles with white lights as my children and I read meaningful bedtime stories underneath it throughout the season.
Every year, I make a playlist of soft Christmas music. We then pick a night and ride around town looking at everyones lights in the dark calm of our car. It brings us such peace, and by the end, we are always talking about the birth of our Lord.
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Let your imagination go wild as you consider the whole spectrum of flavor possibilities. Tart: Granny Smith apple wedges, green grapes, gherkins, cornichons Sweet: chutney, jam, red grapes, strawberries Savory/salty: salami, pat Mild: smoked salmon Bold: Cajun crab dip Spicy: chorizo sausage The result of these pairings will be simply sensational. Youll want to show off each of your stars to best advantage. If you want to display all your cheeses together, pick a wooden, marble, or ceramic board that is large enough to keep the cheeses from touching. Choose a plate of unique or Step Four: original design for the accompaniments. Garnish Presenting each plate and platter, the Whole keeping it simple: a sprig of flat leaf parsley, a fig cut in half, a cluster of grapes. Dont go crazy over garnishes or you could easily spend more money on garnish than on cheese! I like to write pairing suggestions on small cards by the cheese, like: Try the herbed crackers with a slice of brie and a dollop of chutney or Try smoked salmon and goat cheese on french bread. You can also display cheeses under an elegant glass cloche, or cheese bell. Collect and use interesting cheese knives and serve each cheese with its own knife.
AffinageProcess of aging cheese to its optimum maturity. A person specializing in this art is an affineur. AromaCheeses scent, which can be described by a connoisseur using a host of terms such as faint, fresh, pungent, nutty and mushroomy. Artisanal CheeseHand-crafted, small batch cheeses made with treasured, often secret, recipes and techniques. Blue-veined Cheese or Bleu CheeseCheese containing distinctive blue veining as a result of the aging process. It is usually earthy, salty and pungent with medium-strong to very strong flavor. Examples include gorgonzola, stilton, Danish bleu, roquefort. CheesemongerMerchant who sells cheese.
Washed-Rind CheeseStrong to very strong semisoft cheese distinguished by a strong aroma and pinkish or orange-colored rinds and a savory, nutty, salty flavor. Examples include Muenster and Taleggio. SharpTerm used to describe the full-bodied, sharp, biting flavor of aged cheeses. Examples include cheddar and parmigiano-reggiano. Typically, the more the cheese is aged, the sharper the flavor. Silky or SatinyTerm used to describe the feel of a soft cheese, like a spreadable cheese or aged brie or camembert, in the mouth. Soft (or Soft-Ripened) CheeseUnpressed cheese aged for a relatively short period and containing high moisture. Examples are camembert and brie. TangyTerm used to describe a cheese with higher acid content, such as goats milk cheese.
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A Note on Allergies
If you know that some of your guests are lactose or gluten intolerant, provide a few options for them like glutenfree crackers and gluten-free, lactose-free sides like fruit and nuts. However, given the fact that theyve accepted the invitation to your cheese party, they should have
a special role. Do your homework, using the resources at your disposalwhether its the label on the cheese, the cheesemonger at the grocery store, or that infinite source of knowledge and information, the Internet. Bon apptit and Vive le fromage! Nathalie Jeter was born in Paris, France, where Charles de Gaulle once exclaimed, How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? Her mother says that as a child she would refuse ice cream and ask for cheese instead. Strange child.
reasonable expectations as to what they can and cannot eat. Throwing a cheese party can seem like a daunting task, but simply keep in mind that its all about the senses; the smell, taste, texture and look of each cheese plays
Q: How much cheese will I need? A: Typically, a pound of cheese will feed about five people. Q: What cheese should I avoid serving? A: In most circumstances, you would never see parmesan, mozzarella, American, Colby or pepperjack cheese on a gourmet cheese platter.
Q: Should I take cheese out at the last minute to keep it cool? A: No; cheese is best at room temperature. Q: How do I know when bleu cheese is bad? A: It develops a different kind of mold. Blue cheese contains an edible kind of mold, but youll want to throw it away if it develops any color (yellow, green, brown) other than blue and white.
Handmade gifts can bring such meaning to the holidays! Whether youre a craftinista or you have never heard of a glue gun, you can give gifts that are special, easy and inexpensive! Here are a couple ideas; find more at iflourishonline.com!
Christmas Cookie mix in a Jar Difficulty Level: Kid Friendly
Christmas Cookie Mix in a Jar is a perfect gift for teachers, Secret Santa or stocking stuffers. For a holiday touch, use holiday colored M&Ms! Print the instructions for baking on sticky labels and attach to the back of the jar or on a hanging gift tag (pictured). If youre a scrapbook fan, there are lots of options out there to make your gift tags personal. Get creative! Multiple this recipe for as many jars as you need. 1 (4 C) wide-mouth quart canning jar with lid and ring C sugar 1 C chocolate chips or M&Ms candies 2C all-purpose flour tsp baking soda C brown sugar, packed tsp baking powder MIX together flour, soda and baking powder. Layer flour mixture, brown sugar, granulated sugar and M&Ms-brand candies in jar. A special funnel for wide-mouth canning jars can be found in the stores near the jars. This will help you get everything in the jar neatly, especially if you have little helpers! Pack each layer firmly. CUT appropriate number of 7-inch circles from cotton fabric. Top each jar with fabric circle, and tie with ribbon. PRINT gift tags with recipe instructions. Cut gift tags out and attach with ribbon, or glue to the front of the jar. recipe instructions (include on gift tag): Empty jar of cookie mix into mixing bowl; blend thoroughly. Add C butter or margarine, softened, 1 beaten egg and 1 tsp vanilla. Mix until completely blended. Roll into 1-inch balls, and place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees until edges are lightly browned, about 12 14 minutes. Cool on cookie sheet for five minutes, then transfer to wire racks. Makes 2 dozen cookies. Tools Needed: Glass Mason or Ball Jars and lids, Inexpensive fabric, paper, baking items. Total Time: Less than an hour. Total Cost: >$4 each.
Woman of God:
Reminder That a Woman is Much More Than Societal Conventions
By Jennifer Avis
i sit comfortably with a magazine on my lap, one of my favorite pastimes. i flip through its multiple pages, each one with a different girl who seems perfect. These full-lipped, no-mess, sultry-eyed, gold-toned beauties imprint on my mind. Suddenly, im not so comfortable. im restless, feeling as if there is something i need to dosomething to make me look better, feel better and be better. The next thing i know, i am watching a movie, and there it goes again. images of a womans body are never missedsome obscene and others tactfulbut enhanced nonetheless. A perfect shot of her here or there, a sensual smile, a provocative gesture; its all there, personifying pleasure and accentuating the smallest aspect of who i really am. So many days i have felt the power of ugliness, of being swooned and outcast, of being tired and spent, of being challenged and misunderstood. i have second guessed the way i look. i have compromised my intellectual capabilities. i have failed to see the true beauty that gets buried deep inside, like the goodness that i am or the compassion that i feel for the world around me. Too many times, i am caught up in the faceted world, which bisects my nature and turns it into something tarnished or flawed. i realize that i am far from the kind of woman society hails, or Hollywood for that matter, and there is a part of me that rebels, sometimes at the expense of me and other times at the expense of others. And then, there is a ray of light streaming my way. it is the lord reminding me that i am much more than i give myself credit for. Society is a loud place, and more times than not i am humbled and quieted, struggling to keep face and knowing the honesty i owe myself. inside the folds of my skin, my heart beats for the world to make it a better place. There is a soul within this body, aching to help and to inspire anyone who will listen. i am the very breath of the space that is around me, which in and of itself is gold. These are the things i have to rememberthe things i must cherish in order to rise above nonsense. i am woman, worthy of respect. i am your mother, your sister, your daughter, your wife, your girlfriend, your friend. i am a creator, a thinker, a fighter, a nurturer, a powerhouse, steered by God, and in that, i am significantworthy of every wonderful thing this world has to offer. The deep love i acquire for myself, the respect i uphold for myself, the gifts i choose to radiate outward: they are by God, for God and of Goda blessing beyond any measure of this world.
Jennifer Avis is the author of Morty the Meerkat has Autism. She has a M.S. Ed with a post graduate degree from The Institute of Childrens Literature. Devoted wife and mom, she writes for children and their families. You can find her humble blog Memoirs of a Challenge on Facebook, written for The Elijah Foundation.
Lord, help me to keep You at the center of all that I do for Christmas this year.
I knew that I would still need to get everything done just like every year before, but I wanted to make sure I wasnt caught up in the commercialism or stress as in past Christmas seasons. I wanted to recapture that amazement and wonder that I had felt during the holiday as a child. So I began with a simple prayer. Lord, help me to keep You at the center of all that I do for Christmas this year. It was only a few days later that I was struck by a verse in Ephesians. I had just started studying the book a few weeks earlier. I was intrigued as I read part of Pauls prayer for the church at Ephesus. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints (Ephesians 1:18). Thats it, I thought! I want my eyes to be opened again to the hope and glorious inheritance that we find in Christ Jesus. Thats where the true magic of Christmas lies. We celebrate Christmas because the baby born in a manger so many years ago brought us hope and salvation. We give gifts to those we love because we remember the greatest gift that God gave to us, a way to have a relationship with Him through Christ who forgives our sins. And as Christs adopted sons and daughters, we have heaven to look forward to, where He is preparing a place for us. These are truths that we all know as Christians, but they can often get lost in the Christmas rush. I decided to not let these thoughts fall to the sidelines this year. As Ive kept these things at the forefront of my mind, an interesting thing has happened. The season has become magical once again. Christmas lights seem brighter, people seem merrier, and weeks leading up to December 25th are full of Christmas cheer. And whats even more amazing is that as Ive focused on Christ, the details that usually have me stressing out at this time of year are also nicely falling into place. Our house is more decorated than it has ever been in years past. Im almost finished with my Christmas shopping. And I even have most of the presents that Ive purchased wrapped already. The best part is that I have my Christmas joy back. Rather than approaching the holiday with dread because of all I have to do, Ive found myself approaching it with the wide-eyed wonder of a child once again. This year December 25th will truly be a special day as I spend time with family and reflect on the marvelous love and grace that Christ gives us. Are you in the midst of the Christmas rat race? Slow down and let Christ take back Christmas in your life. You will find that you can once again truly enjoy this wondrous season.
Belinda Elliott is a freelance writer from Chesapeake, Va. She has a Master of Arts in Journalism from Regent University. Her articles have been published in several magazines including Church Libraries, The Christian Communicator, Advanced Christian Writer and The Secret Place.
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