Communication and the Strength of Human Relationships

Before examining how relationships develop and ourish, it is important to survey the

complexity of the many current means through which relationships occur. The most frequent form of interaction across time is face-to-face communication. This includes the verbal and nonverbal messages constantly sent and received, interpreted and analyzed, when any two or more individuals meet and are in the presence of another. The specic use of words, phrases, sentences, rhetoric, and transmission of messages over time operate in tandem with posture, body language, facial expression, inection, use of time, use of space, and many other factors to bring forth meaning between human beings. Through the use of technology, we have increased capability to conduct relationships at higher speeds over long distances and for sustained periods of time than past generations. However, relationships conducted through technology also changes and increases the complexity of relationships development, as devices provide whole new sets of meanings and dynamics. As one example, communication through cell phones provides new questions about meaning to the sender and receiver such as, Should I call or text him? What does in this text mean? Do I have to text her back? Is it okay that we text more than we talk in person? Questions like this abound in communication through technology or face-to-face interaction. Meaning emerges and subsequent understandings of relationship stay in ux as the use of communication changes. In such a complex and ever-changing environment, there is no formula on how to make relationships ourish. However, there is one skill that carries through multiple disciplines -listening -- and one segment of people who are most valued as relational partners -- women. Listening is key in relationships, as it grants the other a sense of worth and value. The human need to be seen and known is revealed when they have experienced true listening based in

presence and understanding. Listening based in presence is engaged and inclined towards the speaker. Listening equips the listener with greater knowledge of the speaker, what he or she values, and subsequently breeds effective communication. Many research studies reveal women, compared to men, are more coveted relational

partners. Largely, sisters and mothers sustain familial relationships better and more consistently than brothers and fathers. In addition, studies of divorced couples reveal that though divorce nancially affects women more, men suffer a larger relational blow. A married mans best friend is usually his wife, but a married womans best friend is usually another woman. This is not a strange phenomenon, but one that can and has been explained through the

realization of the different ways many men and women structure their communication. Women often communicate with an ultimate goal of achieving connection with the other, while men seek status. This plays out in distinct ways: men often sit side-by-side when speaking, while women usually face each other; men usually take turns talking and hate interruptions, whereas women conversations include much back and forth and small verbal afrmations of yes oh, me too! throughout. Women often seek equality and dependence in relationship, whereas mens communication often has a competitive nature to it. Though it seems stereotypical, these characteristics of women-in-relationship and the positive results are helpful to realize practically some attitudes that foster better relationships. Even with an understanding of a few skills or attitudes that may make relationships

ourish, it is necessary to remember that fallen humanitys communication is still consistently plagued by confusion, manipulation, and abuse. Communication is the essential aspect of the process of developing and maintaining meaningful interpersonal relationships, but it needs to be co-opted by a more powerful, non-human, love to move beyond solely selsh gain. St.

Augustine wrote of the necessity of love as the guiding principle of communication for the Christian (Meynell, 144). For Augustine, the love of neighbor that guides communication derives from God (147). Therefore, communication that best furthers healthy relationships is that which is rooted in the love of God found in Christ.

Grifn, Emory A.. A rst look at communication theory. 8th ed. Boston: McGraw-Hill Higher Education, 2011. This textbook is fundamental for students in the communication discipline. Grifn maps out over thirty of the most important and comprehensive theories, many which bear on the specic study of human relationships. Chapters on Constructivism (8), Symbolic Interactionism (5), and Coordinated Management of Meaning (6) are useful for holistically understanding how communication is the reality that denes all human relationships. Individuals make sense of the world through systems of personal constructs, but these are only possible through meaning that arises out of interaction with others. Consequently, persons-in-conversation constantly construct their own relationship realities together and simultaneously are shaped by these realities. In addition, Chapter 11 (Walthers Social Information Processing Theory) and Chapter 25 (McLuhans Media Ecology) are important for understanding the dynamics of different technologies, and especially that of relationships enacted and played out through computermediated-communication (cmc) versus face-to-face (ftf) communication. Meynell, H.A. ed. Grace, Politics and Desire: Essays on Augustine. Calgary: University of Calgary Press, 1990. This book, particularly the chapter entitled Love as a Rhetorical Principle by Christine Mason Sutherland, is a helpful tool in understanding Augustines view of how communication (particularly rhetoric) is changed upon a persons identication with Christ. As Sutherland carefully explains, Augustine understood that a Christians communication must be rooted in love. In short, Sutherland portrays Augustines view that a Christians relationship with God will fundamentally change his or her approach to communication, centering it around seless love of others. Brook, Peter. The Empty Space. Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1980. This book serves as a valuable tool to understanding the basics of theater, and thus the importance of the relationship between actor and audience. Peter Brook denes the four types of theater, distinguishing between good theater and bad theater. This source gives the average reader an understanding of how relationship is communicated and demonstrated through the art of theater. This source contributes to this paper well because of its distinct perspective on art and its connection with people and their relationships.