Caught in the gulley

WE
are going to win this Summer Spice cup in South Africa. Now my wife does not understand much cricket but she likes to commentauthoritatively- like any Indian enthusiast. So I was not surprised. What surprised me was the authenticity with which she proclaimed the winner. How do you say that? the sceptic in me rolled the tongue. You know I never speak without any basis, she reminded me. Yes, yes. I know your smokey sayings never float without fire. The paper says so. In fact all the newspapers are carrying Gangulys interview. They all say that Ganguly is talking positively.... But every time he talks positively and thinks and performs just the opposite. More over captain has to speak like that. He has to lead from the front. But this time he is sounding more positive, crisp and conclusive. (My wife very naturally added the degree and I had to agree) The moment he had a look at the dry grass he said, ...have to play three seamers. And sealed the fate of Harbhajan Singh. I could not help barging in. Perhaps she did not hear me because she continued, and who else become more convincing in negotiations... Who maharaja, what negotiations! My mind had really drifted a bit. I am talking about Sourav Ganguly and he is called Maharaja, Prince and Tiger and all that. I say, why dont you take time off from your BBC, CNN and other samesounding channels to watch some cricket channel. Do that, and next time you wont have trouble understanding the sobriquets and the latest isms. Isms! What isms? I looked at her in askance. Yes, you listen to our excricketer turned commentators particularly that impeccably dressed turbanator (excuse his pronunciations). Cricket commentary was never interesting like this before. Even the foreign ex-cricketers turned commentators laugh heartily at this fellows rustic similes and metaphors and what not and what nots. Did you ever hear of China hen or canopins or for that matter even cycle stand? They are all isms. No, but you were speaking of princes and maharajas. I cautiously reminded. Yes, I have not forgotten. Look at the charming captain with glasses. He convinced and persuaded our hard-nut-to-crack Cricket Control Board of India to sanction the acclimatization time. And not only the Board

I am talking about Sourav Ganguly and he is called Maharaja, Prince and Tiger and all that. I say, why dont you take time off from your BBC, CNN and other same-sounding channels to watch some cricket channel. Do that, and next time you wont have trouble understanding the sobriquets and the latest isms.

Prakash Pathre
was impressed with his arguments but it also gave him bonus of two warming up matches. Now what do you say of Sourav s negotiations? Very good, indeed. I said. And hear these comments, from the most elegant driver of the ball in contemporary cricket today, about the feared attack of Proteas in their own backyard. Now what is he up to? I showed surprise. It seems that our captain with the golden arm has fully done his home work. He, John Wright the coach and senior players like Sachin and Dravid are talking to the youngsters as they can. What does it mean! I asked. I too did not understand but it sounds good. He says that in a months time all his batsmen, bowlers and even wicketkeeper will have gauged the bounce of the bouncy wickets in South Africa. And that is about enough time for them to adjust. Does it not sound good? It does sound good. But in one months time, my dear, the one-day tournament will be over. Your team will be busy adjusting to the bounce and the confident looking captain will have lost the series. I put in my argument. So what, he has the test match series ahead. And as everyone, who understands cricket, knows very well that it is the real test.

but a confident captain could have spoken like this. And as far as Baaji is concerned (here she doubly surprised me) then Kumble can make way for him. Anil is no more a match winner he once was. Moreover, he has not played competitive and serious cricket for the last many months. Will it not be too much to expect from an out of touch bowler like Kumble?

I had a sneaking doubt that my wife must be watching Harsha-on- Line and other such programmes on TV. Her analysis was near perfect. Giving me my cup of tea, she continued, Now, he more than believes in the terrific trio of Javagal Srinath, Venkatesh Prasad and that never say die Ajit Agarkar and is confident that they will deliver the

goods. Yes, sounds good. I could just nod. And you know, to make matters more interesting, the prince of Kolkata has challenged the younger lot to perform better. And only such challenges, psychologists say, bring the best out of everyone. I see. I again nodded. You see the Maharaja has