November 2, 2011

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Marilee Adams, Ph. D.

10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work

2009 Marilee Adams Adapted by permission of Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc. ISBN: 978-1-57675-600-3

Introduction
The concepts in Change Your Questions, Change Your Life are primarily derived from the principles of Question Thinking. Question Thinking is the idea that individuals have complete control over their thinking. Through the monitoring and evaluation of thinking, individuals can refocus the questions they ask in order to achieve more desirable results. Question Thinking is a tool that enables productive thoughts rather than reactive thoughts. Change Your Questions, Change Your Life demonstrates that genuine change can only be achieved if a change in thinking occurs first. Marilee Adams uses the fictional story of Ben, his struggles with his new career at QTec, and his work with Joseph, an executive coach, in order to effectively illustrate the power of Question Thinking. The book begins with a man named Ben recounting the positive impact of his work with Joseph. Joseph is an executive coach who emphasizes the value of changing the questions people ask themselves. Rather than look for the right answers, Joseph believes that people must first begin asking better questions.

Moment of Truth
Bens story begins with a new and risky career at QTec, which he accepted based on his trust in the new CEO and his former coworker, Alexa. Ben steps into his new management position with more technical skills than leadership experience. While his team starts off eager and ready to work, team meetings quickly fizzle and become unproductive. Ben allows hopelessness to settle in and believes he has failed at his job. The next morning he meets with Alexa to tell her he is resigning. Alexa insists that Ben keep his job, though she recognizes that he is in trouble. Alexa tells Ben about her work with Joseph, and how he helped her and her husband become more successful. She then

Business Book Summaries November 2, 2011 Copyright 2011 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Marilee Adams, Ph. D.

requests that Ben work with Joseph over the following weeks.

A Challenge Accepted
The next morning Ben meets with Joseph. While Joseph familiarizes Ben with his thoughts about the importance of questions, Ben challenges him. Ben claims that proving ones answers are correct is much more important than asking better questions. Joseph agrees with Ben that proof is important but asks if Bens pursuit of proving himself right has ever gotten him in trouble with his team at work or even at home with his wife. Ben admits that it has. Joseph asks Ben if he is familiar with the term Question Thinking. Joseph explains that Question Thinking is a method using questions to help develop the way individuals approach situations in life. Question Thinking provides an individual with the tools they need to refine the questions they ask in order to ultimately make better decisions. Ben listens as Joseph explains Question Thinking, but he is skeptical of Josephs ideas. Joseph adds that when stumped, people naturally look for answers. Joseph argues that searching for answers without creating new and better questions can only lead to the same batch of tired answers. New outcomes are made possible when one chooses to ask new questions. Joseph explains that as a leader, success is the result of the entire teams effort. Thus, as a leader, one must encourage the team to ask better questions in order to find answers that the leader has not yet discovered. Joseph warns Ben that as an answer man, he may not be making room for his teams input. Joseph suggests that Ben ask more questions when with his team. Joseph explains that effective communication is about asking more and telling less because it allows for new information to arise. Joseph adds that in order to be effective, an individual cannot just ask more technical questions. They must also begin asking themselves questions about people. In order to change, individuals need to have an accurate view of their situation. The observer self shows an individual their current situation in order to surface the skills necessary for positive change. Question Thinking can help strengthen the observer self and provide a strong foundation for change.

Key Concepts
Marilee Adams demonstrates the power and value of asking questions. The following concepts are the foundation for asking better questions in order to create a better future: Question Thinking requires individuals to monitor and evaluate their thinking. Awareness of ones thoughts allows individuals to refocus the questions they ask themselves in order to achieve the best results possible. Question Thinking is a tool that teaches one to have productive rather than reactive thoughts. The observer self shows an individual their current situation in order to surface the skills necessary for positive change. Question Thinking can help strengthen the observer self and provide a strong foundation for change. The choice map is another tool that can be used to strengthen ones observer self. There are two paths on the choice map: the learner path and the judger path. The choice map can be used to help individuals determine where their headspace is and make better decisions for the future. Switching questions enables individuals to move from the judger path to the learner path.
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Information about the author and subject: http://inquiryinstitute.com Information about this book and other business titles: www.bkconnection.com Related summaries in the BBS Library: The Success Principles How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be Jack Canfield

The Choice Map

In Ben and Josephs next meeting, Joseph points to a
Business Book Summaries November 2, 2011 Copyright 2011 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved Page 2

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Marilee Adams, Ph. D.

mural on the wall. The mural is of the Choice Map. On the choice map are two paths: the learner path and the judger path. Depending on the path an individual is on, they will ask themselves different questions. The choice map is a tool that can be used to strengthen ones observer self. It can be used to help individuals determine where their headspace is and make better decisions for the future. The following are examples of learner questions: What happened? What are the facts? What are they thinking, feeling, or wanting? Whats possible? Examples of judger questions include: Why are they so stupid? Why bother? Whose fault is it? Whats wrong with them? People often shift between the learner and judger paths without awareness, but there is a definitive choice between the two. When people become aware of their thoughts, feelings, and the language they are using, they are able to identify the path they are on. This is why the observer self is essential for success. Joseph adds that while individuals sometimes do not have any choice in what happens to them, they do have a choice in how they handle what happens to them. The observer self allows individuals to focus on the bigger picture rather than react without consid-

eration. The choice map can help people make more thoughtful choices moment by moment, which is an essential quality in leaders. Switching questions enable individuals to move from the judger path to the learner path. Switching questions help individuals stop labeling or making assumptions about a situation and instead encourage them to become curious. The questions that people ask themselves direct them down the learner or judger path. By strengthening ones observer self, an individual can more easily access switching questions and get back on the learner path. People work more effectively when following the learner path.

With Judger mindset, the future can only be a recycled version of the past. Were all recovering Judgers. Accept Judger and practice Learnermoment by moment by moment.
Were All Recovering Judgers
In their next session, Ben becomes worried about the amount of time he spends on the judger path. He is unsure how to access the learner path when problems continue to surface around him. Joseph reminds Ben that, especially in hard times, humans naturally wander down the judger path. There is no way to be rid all judger tendencies, yet it is possible to manage them. It is best to simply accept judger tendencies, and practice learner questions. This will help quickly recover when judger takes over. By accepting the judger, individuals can control judger tendencies, and begin to separate their reactions from others behaviors. The choice map demonstrates that by changing questions from judger to learner, the results will also change.

About the Author

Marilee Adams, Ph.D. is an executive coach, facilitator, speaker, and consultant for a number of the worlds top companies. She is also founder, president and chief question officer at the Inquiry Institute. Marilee Adams and her husband, Ed Adams, live in Lambertville, New Jersey.

Kitchen Talk
Ben has not told his wife, Grace, about his trouble at work or his meetings with Joseph. Their relationship has been tense lately, and he does not want to add to the pressure. Joseph gave Ben a copy of the choice map and instructed him to hang it on the refrigerator at home. Ben is nervous because he knows the choice map will spark questions from Grace. The next morning Grace finds the choice map and immediately begins to learn from its principles and reevaluate her own actions at work. She admits to Ben that she has been a judger with a coworker and wonders if she has negatively contributed to their situation. Ben begins
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Business Book Summaries November 2, 2011 Copyright 2011 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Marilee Adams, Ph. D.

to share with Grace the wisdom Joseph has taught him, specifically the notion of asking better questions. Grace deduces that action follows questions. While Ben avoids telling Grace the whole story as to how he acquired the choice map, he is happy that some of the principles of Question Thinking are finally making sense to him.

to accept. How an individual relates to the judger, not the presence, is what matters. Joseph then shares a tool with Ben that not only helps to accept judger but also helps to look at the big picture and make better choices. The ABCC Choice Process is a tool that helps a person face a tough decision. The letters in ABCC stand for the following words and steps: AAware: Has judger taken over? BBreathe: Would a more objective view of the situation benefit it? CCuriosity: What is going on and what facts are missing? CChoose: What choice is best? Ben then recalls something that has been bothering him about the learner path. He notes that the learner seems soft, while leaders need to be strong. Similarly, Ben worries that learner will slow productivity down in a time when deadlines are vital. Joseph responds by noting the amount of time and loyalty that is lost as a result of mistakes, impatience, and being impolite. These losses are a result of the judger, whereas the learner increases productivity and saves time.

Switching Questions
In their next meeting, Ben admits to Joseph that he often starts down the judger path. Joseph decides to introduce Ben to the Switching Lane. By asking a switching question, one can follow the switching lane over to the learner path. The switching lane is a transitional road between the judger and learner paths that ultimately connects them. Stepping on the switching lane is like an awakening. By observing judger thoughts, an individual gains the ability to choose their following thoughts and actions. The type of questions people ask themselves not only changes their mindset but also changes their physiological state of being. Judger questions create stress and anxiety, whereas learner questions create positive intention. While people can be successful and follow the judger path, this success often comes at the cost of productivity and open, earnest communication.

Learner Teams and Judger Teams

While people cannot choose to be completely learner, they can become skilled at choosing how they direct their attention. When an individuals attention is on learner, it cannot be on judger. Joseph adds that individuals as well as teams need to practice giving more attention to learner and less attention to judger. The choice map can serve as a guide for teams as well. A team can be a Learner Team or a Judger Team. Joseph notes that low-performing teams often ask fewer questions and Fortunately, theres a fast track out of Judger. Look at this spend more time pushing specific lane in the middle. Joseph pointed to the little road joining the ideas. Conversely, high-performJudger and Learner Paths. A sign labeled it the Switching Lane. ing teams have a balance between That lane is the key to change. You get to Learner by asking questions and ideas. In this environment teams can endure conflict Switching questions. and maintain a learner environment. Joseph also reminds Ben that the judger and the learner are only mindsets, and not lifestyles. Every individual has access to both mindsets. Question Thinking enables individuals to manage their choices and adjust as they see fit. By learning the tools of the choice map and utilizing the switching lane, individuals learn how to quickly recover from the judger path and spend more productive time on the learner path.

Seeing with New Eyes, Hearing with New Ears

When the Magic Works

Ben finds himself stuck in traffic and anxious about a meeting later that day with Charles. Charles is one of Bens team members and the source of a great deal of Bens anxiety at work. Ben decides to take advantage of his time stuck in traffic and calls Joseph to see if he
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Ben still has a hard time accepting his relationship with judger. Joseph reassures Ben that there is nothing he can do to completely avoid judger. Joseph adds that the best and only way to handle judger is

Business Book Summaries November 2, 2011 Copyright 2011 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Marilee Adams, Ph. D.

has any insight about how to handle Bens meeting with Charles. Joseph recommends that Ben ask himself three questions: 1. What assumptions am I making? 2. How else can I think about this 3. What is the other person thinking, feeling, and wanting? Joseph tells Ben that these questions are from the Top Twelve Questions for Success, a tool in Bens workbook. As Ben considers these questions, traffic begins to move and he starts to feel more prepared for his meeting with Charles.

In this exercise team members share and record a stream of questions in order to generate new ideas. Charles suggests that the two men try this exercise. At the end of the exercise Ben acknowledges that looking at all of the questions they came up with helps him to take a step back and see new possibilities. The meeting with Charles not only shows the two men how to better work together but also gives Ben a glimpse of the positive impact of asking better questions.

Amour! Amour!
Ben is so excited by all of the progress that he is making at work, he comes home late. Ben arrives home to find Grace awake. He quickly realizes that she is upset. Like at work, Ben forces himself to be open to conversation and tells Grace the truth about his trouble at work and meetings with Joseph. Ben again realizes the power of making room for questions and learns that Josephs ideas work both at work and home.

Before his meeting with Charles, Ben has an appointment to see Alexa. After touching base, Alexa shares some of her thoughts on Question Thinking with Ben. She recalls a study about two bowling teams. The first team reviewed videos of past performances and focused on the Those new questions had led to still others: How can I allow mistakes that they made in order to prevent them in the future. The other people to contribute to me? And, How can I contribute second team focused on their suc- to others? Once I realized I didnt have to have all the answers, cesses when they reviewed past everything went easier. People shared their ideas, asked lots performances. While the first more questions, and really listened to each other. I thought about teams mistakes were imprinted in their brains, the second teams something Joseph had once quoted to me: Words create worlds. successes became second nature to them. As a result, the second team was more sucThe Inquiring Leader cessful in their future games. Alexa asserts that she At work Ben receives a call that he should meet Alexa applied these same guidelines to the last struggling in her office. Old fears begin to surface as Ben makes company she worked at with great success. She tells his way down the hall. Alexa and Joseph are both Ben that work was not only more enjoyable but also waiting for Ben when he arrives. Alexa and Joseph more productive. Alexa adds that curiosity is a true congratulate Ben and tell him that he has won a spot asset. She believes that curiosity leads an individual in Josephs Question Thinking Hall of Fame. Ben straight down the learner path. recalls how Joseph had told him that words create Q-Storming to the Rescue worlds, and notes the value that phrase now holds for him. Bens team has transformed from low-performAfter seeing Alexa, Ben is prepared to approach his ing to high-performing and has successfully worked meeting with Charles in a completely new manner. together using learner questions and principles. Alexa He readily meets Charles at the door and takes a chair finishes by telling Ben that he is receiving two promonext to him rather than behind the desk. Ben begins tions. Ben is now in charge of developing even more their conversation by acknowledging that he believes technically advanced products as well as heading the he has had a role in them not getting off on the right new leadership team based on Josephs principles. foot, and then asks Charles several questions about how he is feeling and what he think about the teams situation. Later Ben finds out from Charles that Alexa had Joseph host a training session at QTec. Charles explains one of the exercises that Joseph taught them.

Conclusion
In Change Your Questions Change Your Life Marilee Adams uses the story of Ben in order to show how the
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Business Book Summaries November 2, 2011 Copyright 2011 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Marilee Adams, Ph. D.

principles of Question Thinking benefit individuals in the workplace and at home. Bens story effectively illuminates the advantages of Question Thinking. The questions not only set the tone for a persons mood, but also have the potential to put up barriers or open doors. By asking more frequent and better questions, everyone has the ability to look at old problems in a new light and create a more productive and engaging environment. Question Thinking allows people to take a step back, reconsider their assumptions, and ask new and better questions that can lead to a more promising future.
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ers and managers, it also reveals instances in which Question Thinking benefits coworkers, teams, and relationships at home. Question Thinking harnesses the power of an open mind and good questions in order to create productivity, instigate creativity, and strengthen relationships.

Contents
Foreword Introduction 1. Moment of Truth 2. A Challenge Accepted 3. The Choice Map 4. Were All Recovering Judgers 5. Kitchen Talk 6. Switching Questions 7. Seeing with New Eyes, Hearing with New Ears 8. Learner Teams and Judger Teams 9. When the Magic Works 10. Q-Storming to the Rescue 11. Amour! Amour! 12. The Inquiring Leader Question Thinking: 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work Notes Acknowledgments About the Author About the Inquiry Institute

Features of the Book

Reading time: 3-5 hours, 195 pages Change Your Questions Change Your Life is meant to be read cover to cover; although the important ideas can easily be found once the book has been read. The author uses Bens story in order to demonstrate the principles of Question Thinking, and the struggles an individual faces when first learning how to use Question Thinking. At the end of the book, the author outlines the most important tools of Question Thinking and provides page numbers that direct the reader back to Bens introduction to these tools. Adams notes that a person will more easily and skillfully use these tools with practice. The following are the ten tools of Question Thinking: 1. Empower Your Observer 2. Use the Choice Map as a Guide 3. Put the Power of Questions to Work 4. Distinguish Learner and Judger Mindsets and Questions 5. Make Friends with Judger 6. Question Assumptions 7. Take Advantage of Switching Questions 8. Create Learner Teams 9. Create Breakthroughs with Q-Storming 10. Ask the Top Twelve Questions for Success While Change Your Questions Change Your Life demonstrates how Question Thinking benefits lead-

Business Book Summaries November 2, 2011 Copyright 2011 EBSCO Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved

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Change Your Questions, Change Your Life

Marilee Adams, Ph. D.

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