Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Perjurious Times
by

Don Booker

The Writing Life & Other Absurdities

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Contents
INTRODUCTION.......................................................................................................... 2 No Pain, No Game..................................................................................................................03 The World According to Booker.......................................................................................... 06 Let's Make Vinnie Browne Head of RTE............................................................................ 08 George Lee from RTE........................................................................................................... 10 Shooter's Gone....................................................................................................................... 12 Sargent Peppered...................................................................................................................14 AFTERWARD...........................................................................................................................15 Links Page.................................................................................................................................16

Booker meets an old friend as politics goes haywire in Ireland.

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Introduction
Don Booker is a fictional character created in the Summer of 2009 by Irish writer, Noel Farrell. The character was created to show the side of Irish society under enormous pressure due to the political and economical mess in Ireland. These are month on month musings from that time which featured on the blog The Writing Life & Other Absurdities The blog character deals with social issues relevant to Ireland in real-time as seen through Don Booker's eyes. January/February 2010

Who's Don Booker?

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

No Pain, No Gain January 2, 2010 I am the owner of a mobile phone. I'm not sure why? I never use it. Now and again it frightens me as I am not used to the sound of it going off. This morning it was in the middle of a dream I was having. I won't bore you with the details, but it was one of those you don't want to awaken from. Damn technology! I reached down to the wooden floor where it was vibrating around like a break dancer to the tune of Vanilla Ice's , Ice, Ice Baby. My taste in music is wide and varied. Or 'atrocious,' as Leon used to say. The sound was an alert to a text message from an unexpected source. An old friend I had not heard from in over a year, *Chester Cox. I opened the message. It read - Happy New Year. A day late, but a thought all the same. I have to admit I did not send one to him. Still tired, I put the phone back down and spent a half hour trying to re enter my dream world. I don't know about other people, but sometimes it is possible for me. The attempt was futile. I neither found my dream nor sleep. I could make out the noise of a lawnmower in the distance outside. I mean come on! The grass is white right now. Probably some demented husband who needed an excuse to get out of the house for a while. Christmas time can do that to those not 100% committed to the words 'Till death do us part.' Of course that club is not elusive to penis wearers, as I would find out later in the day.

Image by Christian Guitier Creative Commons License I gave Chester a quick call and made arrangements for him to join me on my walk later in the day. I convinced him that it was an ideal chance for us to catch up without adding to the inhuman profit margins my service provider announce every quarter. He agreed.

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Later, I came across a journal which contained Leon's thoughts on that little thing called love. It was more a source of amusement . I read through it quickly . I don't think there is much material that I will be using in any eventual book. For one, there is not enough material and two, I doubt anyone would read it. From it, I got the sense that Leon didn't know much on the subject. What he did know he didn't express very well. It was actually a little depressing. A man so shallow in its pursuit but yet haunted by regret. Maybe I can combine some of it with some other reflections he seemed to have. The whole thing will probably read like some banned 17th century Dutch novel. I met up with Chester a little after five. Just as it was getting dark. I think I will prefer walking in the dark. Less chance of people seeing me in passing cars. Not give them the chance to be saying , 'Oh there's your man, what's his face? I haven't seen him about in ages. He was friends with that fella who , you know, did away with himself ' The cheap gossip of a small town. We set off around the block at pace. I was cold and needed to warm up. It wasn't long before Chester's old knee problem had returned and we were reduced to walking slower. Chester filled me in on how he was living his life. He was a victim of recession too, his work drying up early last Summer at the estate agent he used to sell houses for. With little or no qualifications he was one, of the many I suspect, who have withdrawn into their own existences. His engagement was off within weeks of the blow. She didn't want to be with him any longer. 'I can't be with someone with no prospects,' he mimicked. I tried to offer words of comfort which he laughed off. 'Fuck her,' he said. 'If she'd known I had stashed away thirty grand in the good times her big ass would be still parked on my lap.' With that, four ladies passed us, jogging away chatting among each other. I smiled to myself. This was obviously their chance to get out of the house. Seemed to me women were smarter in the way they chose to spend their 'downtime.' Choosing to keep themselves in peak condition and having something more than the company of a lawnmower to occupy the time. I wished in a silent moment i was a fly on the shoulder of one of them. Though I'd be risking the chance of freezing to death, the insight I could listen in on would be worth the risk.

Marty Image John Talbot Creative Commons License

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Chester told me he whittled away his days in the comfort of his home, online. He told me he had in part, become addicted to chat features on the Internet and liaised daily with people from all over the planet. He told me he had a particular fondness for a number of them. I joked that he was an online player. I don't think he took that to well. 'I'm not Jackson,' he replied. I apologized for the insinuation. It felt kind of awkward for a few moments. I forgot how Chester always leaned on the side of serious. We got back to our starting point. I told him it was nice seeing him. He then invited me over to his house later in the week. He wanted to show me his set up at home. Chester owned his own home. It would have been rude not accept. I watched as he walked away, like some figure on a mission for the CIA and was truthful with myself. I didn't really know him at all.

I decided to walk the block again on my own. This time it was at my pace. In a way I felt a little sour. For a moment I was even glad his fiancee had left him. And I wondered why he didn't use some of his wad on getting a new knee? I soon felt a little warmer. This felt more like what I had set out to do. I wouldn't be inviting Chester around with me again. I wouldn't let him weigh me down. As i walked the final part, a smiling girl, no more than thirty, in peak condition ran past me in the opposite direction with all the athletic stature of a seasoned runner. Behind, her fella, doing well to keep up. He definitely was not smiling. I reckoned he was only there because of the promise of a shared shower when they got home. No pain. No gain!

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

The World According to Booker January 3, 2010 I remember watching a film once called The World According To Garp, an early offering starring the legendary Robin Williams. Borrowing the title and changing it a little, I will from time to time this year just write free on something that enters my head and just go for it. It is not my intention to offend anyone, they are just random thoughts, observations and reflections on the world we all have to share, as I see them on that particular day. ************* I try to keep up with what is going on in the world on a daily basis. I remember sometimes asking Leon why he went out every weekend and why he didn't take a break from it. 'I might miss out on something ' he would say. I guess I could offer the same excuse as to why I bother with the news. My main sources are RTE, Sky News and I prefer CNN over Fox. I can't stand Bill O'Reilly who I find obnoxious and rude. A man who loves the sound of his own voice and unlike David Letterman, who prefers to make love to his staff, there is more than enough evidence out there that O'Reilly treats his appallingly. Watch Bill O' Freak Out RTE is the primary TV network in Ireland. I watch it once a day, again just to see what's going on in the country. It's a bad network, very little originality it the programming it commissions, and runs itself at tax payers expense much like our government do. For the benefit of a few. The programming it does offer are either bought off UK and US networks. The majority of their original programming are dismal rip offs of shows seen elsewhere with slight tweaking. The same people getting commissioned time and time again. Sky News is my source in the UK. It's hard to put great faith in a channel which gives top billing to the passing of celebrities when the injustices of this planet go largely unreported. In the UK this year there will be a general election, most probably in May. Many commentators and opinion polls suggest that the Conservative Party will return to power under the stewardship of David Cameron. Yesterday Cameron announced that should they get into power he will invite opposition leaders to war cabinet meetings on a regular basis. In a small way it is progressive politics, and definitely a move away from the sleaze that was associated with the Tories at the end of their previous tenure. It might have been a positive thing if their collapse did not make way for a war monger like Tony Blair. I'm totally anti-war. It's the greatest stain on our entire civilization since Day 1. Bar none. It's horrible to watch bodies of service people come home to their families in caskets, streets lined in mourning against the backdrop of an ever growing feeling that the wars that rage right now go against public approval. Hundreds of thousands of civilian victims, many women and children, totally innocent of this sort of fate paying the ultimate sacrifice . It is solving nothing. It only breeds more contempt in factions. The world is not a safer place. I honestly believe government is failing everywhere. My research into the move toward a New World Order only confirms that belief. I often wonder as
Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

we 'evolve' as an entity will something else come to the fore in the way of thinking that can surpass democracy with all it's failings that may unite all of humanity. Looking around now I can't see it.

The old morgue at Ellis Island Image - Vilseskogen Creative Commons License Do you remember Live Aid? The day the world came together for the good of Ethiopia which was being ravaged by famine back in the 1980's. That was a great day. I can't help but still carry thoughts that if the world concentrated on matters like this and tackled them in ways that brought the people of the planet together, we may have a chance of a better world. I'd be confident in thinking that most of the world's people would want that. Ireland maintains neutrality on the world stage. But how can you be neutral when you allow planes to re-fuel at Shannon on their way to Iraq? How can you be neutral when you confirm your allegiance to a European superstate when ratifying the recent Lisbon Treaty, be it at the second attempt. My thinking is you would be far more honest as a nation if you took a stand on issues whole heartily instead of this half hearted effort at neutrality. Ireland has long had the reputation of scattering their citizens to the corners of the globe. And although the romantic notion of an old country lies in the heart of any generational Irish person that has affection for the island, I can't help feel if they were still around here today we, as a people, would not be putting up with what has gone on over the past year here. But what is democracy really? Do we really have a choice? Why are more and more people deciding to turn their back on voting? What happens when people sicken of the wastage of tax payers money? What happens when more and more people decide, enough is enough? When they decide that they are not going out to work to pay taxes for wars to rage and the world gets no better? When they decide what's the point of it all when the governments of the world continue to squeeze everything out of us with no sense of equality? I hope we can find a way without ripping ourselves apart even further. Or maybe I'll just throw out my TV someday and imagine a better place. I may be better off in the long run.

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Let's make Vinnie Browne Head of RTE January 8, 2010

I watched a little TV late last night. RTE had a new show on with a panel dissecting the news of the week. That's all we have time for is the catchy name. (NOT). Some readers may know a programme on BBC called Have I Got News For You. The new RTE show is almost exactly the same as the one the BBC produce. I was glad to see a friend of mine, Debbie O'Dee on Facebook, last night also notice the similarity and that it was not just sour grapes on my own behalf. I have long stated RTE supply little original programming. At least nothing that is going to sell to foreign territories anyway. They never see the bigger picture. I wonder did RTE consult with the BBC about this and if payment was made to the BBC for basing this programme so strikingly similar to the one they produce? It beggars the question then, if they have done so, then why change the names?

There are many more RTE programmes which are strikingly similar to others produced across a wide range of UK channels. This is the most blatant I have seen so far. I'd love to know if TV licence payers are paying companies in the UK which produce these shows so RTE can make them. One would reckon they would have to, given how close they are to these UK based programmes. If they are indeed paying, then would it not be better off encouraging home grown talent and ideas and commissioning them instead of copying UK shows. Does anybody know if they pay or if it's just a rip-off of these shows.

On TV3 it's nice to see Vincent Brown hitting the New Year with a bang. Last night's debate on the outing by TV3 on Brian Lenihan's illness and the ethic surrounding the reporting of such matters of a personal nature. It was well informed and well handled. I'm glad we have someone in this country willing to spend time on issues and not afraid to speak out on his opinions and ideas. Despite the excessive ad breaks, Vinnie is original. Perhaps TV3 have to do this, as they don't have license fee money to prop them up. Furthermore, they have to rely on a certain amount of originality. I'm glad Vincent supplies this for us. I'm sure he would be doing everything to encourage new talent in this country and not be driving them to foreign shores like RTE and the government have been doing for decades.

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Crunch TV Image Joe Edwards Creative Commons License

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

George Lee from RTE February 9, 2010 Brian Cowen must be enjoying his steak these past few nights watching the spotlight of the media shine its badly lit glare on former RTE celebrity of economics, George Lee, as he walked out of politics after just nine months in the Dail, leaving leader of the opposition, Enda Kenny, with a mop in his hand. The chuckles around Fianna Fil watering holes may actually ring to the tune that they are not finished yet as they watch events take place. And what of Eamon Gilmore, he must be rubbing his hands with glee in what should prove to be an upsurge in polls for his Labour Party. He could quite possibly be the best taoiseach we never had, but that remains a subject open to debate and better debated in old age. Not that I'll be around that long! Lee, for his part, walked out of Fine Gael... and his country, citing that he was having no input into party policy. Enda decided at the last minute to offer George a seat on the front bench, but George still decided to walk away. George then spent the day doing a tour of TV stations giving his opinion on the reasons saying he was elected on a definite mandate and when the party didn't comply with that mandate he felt he would be cheating his constituents if he did not resign. A poll last night admired George's integrity to the tune of 83%. He now seems destined for a cosy number in RTE and don't bet against him replacing Charlie Bird in Washington as Charlie will soon be home. He's feeling a little homesick. Fine Gael retaliated by saying that they had a big future planned for George in the party but that no one was bigger than the Party and George had no Divine right to a place on the front bench. They made it sound like George had thrown his rattler from the pram and just stopped short of saying that George didn't have the nuts for it.

George Lee

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

10

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

You gotta love politics and all the razzmatazz. It's deep, down and dirty and that's not even getting down to the working and unemployed classes. I certainly have to admire anyone who enters that arena because it can't be good for the heart. Its all descended into a laugh fest within the media while others suffer. But what if we all started laughing, downed tools and demanded real change both in our type of politician and also the political system. It's actually frightening when you realize the standard of leadership that is allowed to hold power considering the collapse of everything but our society - and our society ain't well.

Lose anything, George... Enda Kenny responded today by gathering the party hierarchy together and in a show of faith they stand firmly by their man. Enda apologized for his lack of media savvy and said he would do better. Questions of him not being able to lead his own party quickly expanded into questions if he couldn't control his own people ,how could be control the masses. I make it sound all North Korean and to be fair it's not that bad, for we are the Irish and we'll always be known for the craic. Enda stint on TV3 this evening made a promising start, but in a very Irish way. I think a country should be proud of the person that they choose to lead them. But how many times does that happen? Nelson Mandela? There's been a few! But alas, not enough to make a lasting difference. A right and left wing coalition is not what this country needs and especially not if Enda Kenny is chosen to lead that coalition. The political landscape is ripe with wonder if you follow such things... a screenwriters dream, even if it's just political satire with a twist of absurd. Hell, if i could get a camera person and a sound man and a damn fine actor i may even have a movie on my hands. Unemployed today... Cannes tomorrow.

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

11

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Shooter's Gone February 19, 2009 It was an emotional evening in the Dail with the departure from the front bench of cartoonists favourite, Willy 'Shooter' O'Dea. After surviving a motion of 'no confidence' in the Dail yesterday,Willie looked set to continue his rise within the Fianna Fil ranks. But the Greens wobbled today and withdrew their support for the embattled Minister. Some media outlets reported that John Gormley had threatened to walk out of government if Willie didn't oblige. Political intrigue in the corridors of power. Willie resigned the Ministry Of Defense citing that the country needed to be getting on with the issues at hand and this episode was getting in the way of that. Noble reasons if that is true, not so if they are the words of a spin doctor. It's a minor sorrow in the world of Booker as I was impressed with Willie appearing at the bottom of most expenses claimants over the years that everything was boom. And boom it certainly went. Brian Cowen will now step in in the interim as he decides who to appoint to the position. I hope he appoints someone soon. It would be just out luck to be invaded tonight by the Welsh. Imagine the headlines in tomorrow's papers. Wales Invades Ireland. Six Nations Clash Suspended. Gilmore Speaks To The Masses. Browne Gets Top TV Job...of his choosing. Booker Wins Booker. OK, you can leave out the last one.

Artist impression of Willie O' Dea's upper lip piece (actual size) Willie, some time ago, gave a journalist an interview and made the rather damaging allegation that a Sinn Fein Counsellor and his brother owned a house which was being used as a brothel. The allegation was untrue and the Sinn Fein Counsellor sued Willie. Willie then signed a sworn affidavit to say he never said any such thing, only for a tape to rise with Willie saying the whole bloody thing. The case was settled in the courts before Christmas when Willie said 'sorry' for the remark and paid substantial damages to the Sinn Fein Counsellor. All I can suggest is Willie had one to many that night and they may have been the most expensive drinks he ever bought. Off course Willie could be teetotal and the last line is just a load of ...... It's been an interesting start to the political year, as some eye power while others cling. It doesn't serve any Fianna Fil politician to put themselves forward to the electorate in the coming while. They need to see the term through and show they can provide hope to many. Let's be honest, times ain't easy. I mean they don't even have a plan for job creation never mind how to stem the flow on to the dole queue. The plan from where I'm standing is they are quite happy to let it run its natural course.

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

12

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

They'll want to hang on in there for as long as they can. The Greens look doomed no matter what they do now. There chance to be strong was yesterday, but they voted with the government so today's knee wobble was nothing only an indication that they can't be trusted in decisive government. You either stand by your principals or you don't. I've never been in love with an Ideal or a party so I don't know the mind set of a politician. I've seen more flaws in Democracy than i have seen nights, but it's what we work under so we have to try and make it work. You get the feeling the people want more, there are many a would-be entrepreneur out there. But when you are being shadowed for every cent you make, it's just not worth the effort even if the support was there. We're slaves to the man and they shaft you any way they can. Until that changes, little will.

Willie O' Dea with Chinese upper-lip piece

I reckon Shooter can hold his head a lot higher than some who did a bit of shafting... Of the nation. Families in power and it gets deeper through the generations. It's time to ask the Irish people the question. 'What does it mean to be Irish in 2010?' From there you'll find the answers and maybe Willie will be back to help make it happen. To error is human. You can only lie the best you can. It should be an interesting few weeks now as a complaint has been made to the Gardai about alleged perjury which will now be investigated. I get the feeling this may be the last I'll be writing on the subject. And on that note....

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

13

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Sargent Peppered February 24, 2010 It's like Groundhog Day in the world of politics lately with the resignation this evening of Green, Minister For State, Trevor Sargent. After the recent spate of resignations and walk outs it truly is a frightening state of affairs the embattled members of Dil Eireann find themselves in. If a General election would make a blind bit of difference I'd be all for it, but well, it wouldn't. Not by my reckoning anyway. Sargent paid the price when the news broke at lunchtime that he had interfered with a matter concerning one of his constituents which was due before the courts, an unlawful act according to the law. Sargent immediately stood down and spared us the rubbish we had to watch last week in the Willie O'Dea saga. The Greens put on a united front this evening and failed to rule out that their coalition partners were the source of the leek. 'A Minister for a Minister' as they say. Surely Fianna Fil couldn't be so ruthless as to put the Greens back in their place so soon? We have a government over the land, one which continues to eat itself from the inside out. And well fed they look, the lot of them!

''Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts and murders itself. T was never a democracy yet that did not commit suicide" John Adams former U.S president. The Greens looked tired this evening before the TV cameras and no one would rule out a wipeout should there be a General Election in the coming months. For all they once stood for now seems such a distant memory. It still amazes how power can change ideals. Sometimes life lures me into intellectual debate and the conclusion can sometimes be 'Sure, what's the fuckin' point!' All these recent revelations continue to deflect from the issues of the day, with unemployment still rising and a generation jobless. A generation. People of the land are still talking positively and last nights lively debate on The Frontline was interesting viewing, with a seemingly disillusioned and sniping younger generation being told by Mr. Apprentice himself Bill Cullen, to get up off their arses and find a way forward. One debater even went as far as to say it was every person for themselves now. Surely a country can't be run on such fuel. There seems to be little political will to change the system so it seems we are doomed to more of the same for the near future. A new website called Your Country, Your Call has been set up where people can pitch there ideas on how to get this country back up on it's feet again. There are 2 prizes of a hundred grand for the winners of the best pitches worth a further 500k being made available to implement the winning ideas. The government have nothing to do with this initiative. That's the sad part. It can even madden at times. There about as useful as a condom in a shower!

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

14

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Afterward
This series is a comment on issues in Ireland. They are covered in real-time against the backdrop of what is really happening in Ireland at the time.

The series covers events as they happen through the eyes of the fictional Don Booker, an unemployed recluse as he attempts to write himself through his personal woes and an Ireland in decline.

The novel, Booker's World is separate from this series of ebooks, though both worlds collide at certain juncture as the months go by. An ebook version of the novel will be available in Spring, 2012. For those following the ebook month-on-month story, Booker's World will fill in all the gaps. All ebooks in this series may be used for reference and may be distributed freely once adhering to this Creative Commons License. Please credit the author.

Why Free?
Subject matter such as suicide, alcoholism, civil liberties, politics, religion, amongst others, are covered throughout the series. A talking society is a healthy society. Please support Suicide Prevention Services and Depression and Addiction Services whenever possible. Continuing negative statistics in the areas of Suicide, Depression & Addiction at a time of national austerity means that every single donation counts in the fight against all three.

Images licensed under various Creative Commons License's Links to artists under relevant images

*Chester Cox is a character from the novel, Booker's World.

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

15

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Also by the writer

In this series... in order 5 Days in September Deathly Quotes November Nightmares Absurdities

Novel by Noel Farrell

Booker's World Novella Sonny Strange

Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

16

Perjurious Times

Jan/Feb 2010

Publicaton

JaSE

2010
Distribute freely using Creative Commons License

17