A Warm Welcome and a Mild Caution

Welcome to Yellow Springs a place you can only imagine! For many years, a Christmas Tale from Yellow Springs has provided a platform for me to offer a personal perspective on this special season. The stories have always fit within the Judeo-Christian spectrum, but there are a whole lot of issues about which reasonable minds especially religious minds may differ, and this years story falls within that category. Last year, I made an iWeb-based web site where you could find the 2009 story, as well as all prior years Tales. It is a testament to my internet incompetence that I cant figure out how to load this years story onto that web site, so if you go to www.yellowspringsstories.com or http://web.me.com/yellowsprings.wdk you can find the old stories but not this one! In any event, heres my wish for us all to have a joyous and healthy Christmas, and a genuinely Happy New Year. - Bill kennedyw@whiteandwilliams.com
2010 William D. Kennedy

Bill Kennedy

On the Friday after Thanksgiving, Felix Flegelhoffer trudged

into his Fair Value Hardware store two long hours before the sun would begin to peak over the hills in eastern Conestoga County. Black Friday begins earlier each year. In October, Addy Sellers from the Yellow Springs Searchlight spoke to Felix about space in the Thanksgiving paper the years largest edition, she boasted. Addy told Felix that the Supply Depot and the FiftyCent Shoppe were each opening their doors at 5:30 a.m. Felix snorted that he wasnt going to lose out to those big box stores, so he ordered an ad that said his store would open at five in the morning. Felix had paid for the ad in advance, and it didnt take much for him to completely forget about the early store-opening until after Thanksgiving dinner, when he crumpled up some newspaper to start a fire, and then his eye caught the Fair Values piece in the Home and Hearth section. Felix realized that he hadnt asked any of his employees to open up the store three hours earlier than normal the next morning. Itd be cruel to call any of his crew at this time on Thanksgiving night, he thought theyd all be enjoying their dinners or, better yet, their postdinner snoozes. And so for 80 year-old Felix, the first chore of the Advent season was to set his alarm for four in the morning so that hed be at the store on time to swing the front door. When the first customer, Danny Dauerditter, walked in at a little after 8, he quickly moved to find what he needed, paying no attention whatsoever to the effort Felix had made to have been open hours earlier. ***** Danny Dauerditters wife Debbie spent the first weekend in December doing the same job she had done that same weekend for nearly thirty years: handwriting personal notes to each of the people on her Christmas card list. Way back when, the task took maybe an hour or so, but now, having met friends in the six different time zones in three different countries and with two

different husbands, the note-writing job stretched out all day, and sometimes into the after-work hours of Monday and Tuesday. Debbie sighed as she looked at the paper supplies mounded up in piles on the dining room table. Most of the recipients of Debbies annual greetings spent barely a few rushed seconds reading her thoughtful notes before they moved on to rip open the next envelope; even fewer realized the care and prayer that Debbie invested in each handwritten card. I like to give everyone the personal touch, she explained to her grandson when he asked her why she took the time and energy to write individual cards, but I have to admit: at times, writing Christmas greetings is a real chore! ***** Mayor Chet Chinkups chores culminate every year when Yellow Springs hosts its Olde Fashioned Christmas. The village celebration of games, music, food, music, and shopping booths was always capped by the arrival of a Santa imitator one who wore the same size suit as high school teacher Ned Gruber. Slippery Slopes Ski Area led the financial sponsorship of the event, but most of the planning, and door-to-door solicitations for participation came from Mayor Chet. Each year, it took him countless hours of solicitation, planning, coordinating, and donating to get the Olde Fashioned Christmas off the ground for the hundreds who enjoyed it -- but barely a dozen Conestoga Countians had any idea how much work it really took to pull it all off. ***** Truth be told, that same thing could be said about most of the elements of a typical Yellow Springs Christmas season: it takes a lot more to get it all done than most people appreciate. Last year, Father Opus Magnus listed in St. Wenceslas weekly bulletin all the people who had contributed to the season. Between the crew who decorated the church, the carolers at the senior center, the youth group kids who baked brownies for overseas servicemen

and women, the Salvation Army bell-ringers, the shelters food servers, the caterers, the nativity-setter-uppers, the choir member, and everyone else who participated in the chores of the season, Fr. Opus thank-you list was so long that it looked more like the Yellow Springs telephone book! ***** Some seasonal tasks are less public. Which is why twelve year-old Austin Oxthorn stared glumly at the blank, white screen on the kitchen computer where his Advent assignment remained incomplete. Mah-ahm, Austin called, I dont know what to write! This is stupid! Stop whining, shouted his older sister Audrey from the family room. I had to do the same thing in my Confirmation Class two years ago. Just write anything! Thats what I did. Audrey added, I figured Uncle Godfrey would have to give me a passing grade no matter what I put down. Hes the pastor whats he gonna do? Flunk his sisters kid out of the church?? Yeah, but thats the problem you were writing for Uncle Godfrey, but Ive got to write for the Werewolf! Dont call him that! warned their mother, Sadie, as she ascended from the basement with two boxes of holiday decorations to distribute around the house before the neighborhood progressive-dinner-and-carol-sing. But he looks just like a real werewolf, Mom! Austin explained. Audrey added, You gotta admit, Mom he does look like a werewolf. Sadie tried unsuccessfully to hold back her grin as she explained that unusual tonsorial stylings of their temporary preacher were nothing to make fun of even though his long, bushy sideburns and graying spikes of gray-and-black hair made

for a very odd, off-putting appearance. Get back to work on your essay. Its no fair, Austin moaned to his sister. You only had to write one page, and Uncle Godfrey made it easy. We have to type two pages of gobbildy-gook about parts of the Christmas story that Boring Stern assigned to us -- parts nobody even cares about. Easy, Austin, cautioned his mother. His name is Bourne Stern. She tried to play it straight, but her crooked smile returned as she repeated his full name, The Rev. Dr. Bourne Stern, IV. Well, hes Boring Stern to me, Austin retorted. Who did he assign you to write about? asked his mother, trying to refocus her son. Some old priest dude. A guy called Zechariah. 3 Audrey couldnt resist the opportunity to show off the scriptural literacy that won her the Blue Ribbon Bible Facts Award in her Confirmation Class two years ago. Oh, you mean John The Baptists father? The Jewish priest who went into the Temple by himself, and then the angel came and told him that he and his wife were going to have a baby? And, like, Zechariah didnt believe the angel, because his wife and him were already so old? And so, yknow, the angel zapped Zech and made him mute until after the baby was born? Her mother asked with exasperation, Can you please speak without ending each declarative sentence as if its a question? Sadie sat next to her son to try to lend a hand to the project. She was struck by the similarity between the Zechariah story that her son had to write about and what her brother, Godfrey Swench, had been going through lately. Both of the two clerics had been informed of surprising family news, and while Godfrey had not turned mute like Zechariah, literally, he had taken an

indefinite leave-of-absence that effectively silenced his voice in the lives of Yellow Springs Methodists. ****** For Godfrey, it all began a few months ago when his son Jacob came home for a visit. After college, Jake had taken an IT position with a pharmaceutical company in Chicago that paid for his MBA classes at night. When Jake had a three-day weekend, he flew back home. Godfrey greeted his son warmly. Hey, I thought you were bringing Kirk, he added, referring to Jakes former college roommate with whom he now shared an apartment. No. We decided itd be better if he went to see his family, while I came to see you two. Godfrey began giving his only begotten son the third degree about his quiet personal life. For years, Godfrey had thought that his son just needed a little social confidence and encouragement, so he began with, So, son with working and your classes at night, do you have any time for the available young women of the Windy City? Trudy rudely interrupted her husbands interrogation, Oh, Godfrey, stop it. She had picked up on something. Actually, Trudy had picked up on something years earlier, but how does a mother talk to her son about something like this? A young mans social life is no topic of conversation for his parents! Jacob hasnt been in the house five minutes and youre all over him! Imagine if your father had grilled you like this! Godfrey grimaced. The only thing his father ever told him about the birds and the bees was that he should read the booklet that Dr. Dewees gave him, and stay away from the magazines sold at the used book booth at the Farmers Auction. Oh, Im not like him, Gertrude! I may not be The Shadow, but I was young once as you may recall and I know what lurks in the hearts of young men.

Trudy shared a silent, worried expression with her son. She could tell what was coming when Jacob said, You know, Dad, maybe you want to sit down. Ive kind of been meaning to talk to you guys. I have something to tell you. ***** And within just a few minutes, there it was. Godfrey blinked once, then twice. Then again, this time shaking his head. Youre sure about this? he asked, I mean, maybe if you . Oh, for heavens sake, Godfrey just shut up!! Trudy intruded. She hugged her son and said, I just want you to be happy. Be healthy, and be happy. Godfrey sat stuttering incomplete questions. H-h-how ww-w-hen why do you but what about Jacob offered, Listen I know this is hard for you to take. 4 Trudy interrupted, Oh, Lord, son dont worry about your father! This must have been so difficult on you to not be able to talk to us until now! Im so sorry that you have had to keep all this to yourself. That had to be awful! Jacob hugged his mother again. Godfrey stammered, But what about gra Godfrey! Trudy snapped, knowing that the word grandchildren was about to come out of his mouth. Jake, do me a favor, will you? Could you run down to the pharmacy and pick up your fathers blood pressure medicine? I called for a renewal this morning. Trudy pushed her son out the door then turned to face her husband. Come, Godfrey, she commanded, We need to talk. But but this changes everything, Godfrey stammered. Godfrey, listen: Jacob hasnt changed. All thats changing is that we are finally getting to see him for who he really is, instead of for who we thought he was or who we wanted him to be.

But it wasnt so easy for Godfrey to get his arms around Jacobs news. After all, for years, Godfrey had been the chair of his the Board that vetted the fresh pastoral candidates for their adherence to the denominations stated social principles. Every few years, the denomination might vote to amend the social policies, but it was always Godfreys job to enforce a minimum level of ostensible adherence. And then a few years ago, he was assigned by the denomination to prosecute a woman minister who had announced to her congregation that she did not concur with the churchs official position about celebrating civil unions. Godfrey had taken the case up through the entire church judiciary, trying to uphold the traditional view of relationships. He was quoted in newspapers and called for consultations. And now now his own son? And so for the first time in his life after three decades of study and ministry Godfrey Swench was speechless. That same day, he submitted a formal request for a leave-of-absence so he could take time to adjust to what Jacob had told him to think and to pray, although for what, he was not sure. The Bishop whose territory included Conestoga County, the Rev. Dr. Bourne Stern, IV, granted Godfrey his requested timeoff, but he shook his head at the problem Godfreys absence posed him. There werent enough ministers to go around and he had none to spare as a fill-in for the Yellow Springs congregation. Lacking any other solution, Bourne Stern assigned himself to be the substitute. Ill handle the preaching and the Confirmation Class gotta keep all the future members we can, you know! And when you think youre ready to return, let me know. At first, Yellow Springers kind of liked Godfreys conspicuous silence. After all, they had been hearing his voice in the pulpit for nearly two decades now, and many of them had grown up with him in the village before that. Some people hoped that their new substitute might be someone to re-energizing the congregation, but the Bishop

wasnt really like that at all. When youre Bourne Stern, peppy isnt really part of your constitution. Instead, the weekly substitute sermonizer droned on about theological doctrines, schools of thought, ancient church Councils, and the need for all local congregations to financially support the central services provided by his regional staff. By the time the calendar rolled around to the four Sundays leading to Christmas, Yellow Springers had grown bored of Bourne Stern. Truth be told, the Reverend Doctor was pretty tired of them, too. Advent was a busy time in which he typically visited each of the pastors in his region, and carving out time to write a new weekly homily had become a chore. Even more burdensome were his Sunday evening meetings with the adolescents in the Yellow Springs Confirmation Class. Bourne Stern had no recollection of what it was like to be twelve yearold, and he was overwhelmed by the uncontrollable energy and sophomoric humor of the Yellow Springs protestant youth. 5 When he assigned a topic for the Confirmation Class kids to write about for their Christmas essay, Bourne Stern harkened back to his post-graduate studies. Years ago, Bourne Stern had written his Ph.D. thesis and two, thick theological treatises on a comparison of how the early part of St. Lukes Gospel portrays the responses to the angelic visits that were paid to both Mary and her cousin Elizabeths husband, Zechariah. Bourne Stern loved the nuances of the two protagonists one, an educated clergyman, and the other, an uneducated teenaged girl. He relished the subtle differences between the questions that the two Biblical characters are recorded as uttering after an angel surprised them with the news that they would each become a parent: Zechariah asked the angel, "How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years." and

"How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?" Bourne Stern treasured the contrast between Marys immediate acceptance of an otherwise unfathomable, fatetwisting pregnancy proclamation Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word, versus the intellectual reluctance of the learned priest to similar news -"How can I be sure of this? I am an old man and my wife is well along in years!" For her response, Mary was regarded as a paragon of faith, but, reportedly, Zechariah was rendered mute for many months due to his cognitive dissonance. The Bishop could speculate for hours about the life in the odd household shared for three months by Mary, Elizabeth, and quiet Zechariah. And given his fondness for the topic, many people in Yellow Springs were afraid the Bourne Stern might do just that by preaching some long-winded Christmas Eve sermon on the subject. Which might be why a sigh of relief passed around the village so quickly when Godfrey Swench called his boss a few days before Christmas. Im ready to get back in the game, Godfrey announced. You were fairly discombobulated when you took your Leave, the Bishop remarked. Tell me why you think youre now ready to resume your post. Godfrey summarized his several-month journey. Ive thought about things a lot. I spent some time in Chicago with Jacob and Kirk. Ive read a lot both pro and con. Ive studied, Ive examined the issues as best I can, and Ive listen to different points of view. And has all that ground work allowed you to reach a conclusion? the Bishop asked. I think so, Godfrey declared. Ive come to a common sense kind of approach. How so?

Well, Bishop, Godfrey continued, spiraling into his typical inarticulateness, I have to admit, I really dont understand it all why some people like some people and other people like other people. But I love my son, and hes a good man, and he makes me proud constantly, and so even though I cant understand everything about why his heart pulls him in a different direction than my heart pulls me, Im accept him, I love him, I support him, and I respect that his life is going to be different than mine. Bishop Bourne Stern sat quietly for a moment. He considered all that Godfrey had said. Rev. Swench, he nodded, I agree you are ready and welcome to return to work! ***** Unfortunately for Austin Oxthorn and his Confirmation classmates, however, Godfrey did not rescind his boss assignment for the Christmas essay. And Bourne Sterns pious passion for pre-nativity stories was well-counterbalanced by Austin Oxthorns deepening disdain for them. The Christmas Eve essay deadline approached, but no matter how much Austin stared at the Biblical text, he couldnt wring even a single drop of inspiration. I dont get whats the big deal, really, he told his mother. This whole story has nothing to do with, like, life today, you know? Really? You sure about that? Sadie asked as she sprayed some cleanser fluid on the kitchen counter and began wiping with a paper towel. I see a parallel right in our own family. Audrey asked the same question her brother Austin was thinking: What do you mean?? I was just thinking about you guys, your cousin Jacob, and my brother. Whats Uncle Godfrey have to do with this, Austin asked. Well, remember when you guys heard the news about Jacob and Kirk was that a big deal to you?

Audrey shrugged with fourteen year-old indifference. Not really. I mean, I dont quite get it, yknow, but as long as Jakes happy, whats it really matter? Yeah, Austin chimed in, I mean, I really dont get why Uncle Godfrey wigged out so bad why he had to stop preaching and everything. Sadie thought about her brothers reaction. I think my brother is like Zechariah: he really wasnt expecting the news that he got, and its taken him some time to get used to it. But look at you two: you guys just accepted the news about Jake and took it in stride. You mean, kinda like Mary? Audrey half-giggled. You mean, she facetiously fanned her face, Im just like St. Mary, the Holy Mother of God? Sadie laughed. Austin, you better step away from youre your sister before the lightning bolts come flying in! Then she added, No, seriously I think that if the Werewolf I mean, the Rev. Dr. Bourn Stern, IV were here, hed say that the first task of Christmas is to accept the notion of an eternal, creative, loving God coming not only in the form of a human, but in the specific form of a vulnerable baby, born to a peasant girl belonging to an oppressed nation of people. As their mother finished her homily, Austin and Audrey cast her an odd look. So, Austin began with mock sensitivity, I guess we can say that preaching just runs in your family. Yeah, Mom, Audrey added, youre as bad as Uncle Godfrey. Realizing how insulting that sounded, Audrey quickly continued, Not that hes bad, really its just that hes always well hes always a little. preachy, Sadie agreed. He was even worse when he was a kid, she grinned. *****

And so on Christmas Eve, Godfrey Swench returned to the pulpit. For his sermon that night, Godfrey shared aloud from some of essays written by the Confirmation Class. He read from his nephew Austins paper, The Bible stories tell about shepherds and wise men and all sorts of other people who accepted that the birth of Baby Jesus was something really special. But for Jesus mom and her cousin and that ladys husband theyre the luckiest ones. Some of us are like Mary, who got it right away, and others of us are more like Zechariah, who took a little while get it. But as hard or easy as it was for them to accept it at first, those guys knew that their sons were really special. Godfrey removed his reading glasses and set them on the lecturn. He looked out at his extended family his parents, his sister, brother-in-law, and their kids, Trudy, Jacob and Kirk. Godfrey repeated aloud, But as hard or easy as it was for them to accept it at first, those guys knew that their sons were really special. My friends, I want to let you all know so do I. The task for us at Christmas is to receive and accept what we cannot yet understand. Godfrey had planned to talk more he had several pages of sermon notes. But instead, he decided he had gotten it about as right as he could, so he just stopped right there. Some people would be relieved to have the sermon over with, and whoever was expecting anything more out of him would just have to be disappointed. He nodded to his son, then proclaimed, Amen.