Heya,

I posted an original thread online People cough at me , which got lots of replies from people suffering similar. Luckily I'd saved the replies into a word document because I suspected the thread might get deleted.. Indeed someone asked for it to be! (bizarre) If you have an email i can send you the original thread, which might be of more comfort. What I do know is that these things are real - my research.

Coughs are often voluntary, spread in many situations from one person to another. So, in a cinema, lecture (where people more likely to get socially anxious) it might not necessarily be you. One person sends a coughing signal, others react to the bark-like sound. In my research, a lot of people emailing me privately who don't have schizophrenia or any medical condition etc, had the coughing experience temporarily or even telling me why they'd do it) voluntary coughs are mostly a form of dissaproval. Coughing is a social phenomenom. 'Social coughing.' In its weakest form, nervousness and uneasiness. Standard observers perceive it as such when a cougher directs a cough to the quiet atmosphere. Others do it back. Mostly voluntary coughs are disapproval, 'i don't like you'; 'there's something funny with you'; 'that's/ you're a bit strange'. Voicing negativity: 'I don't like smoking around me.'. A lot of times, essentially, they're a 'fuck off.' Took me a lot of correspondance with friendly and not so friendly people. The help of my boyfriend who sees it happens and has 7 months tried to help me understand, and time to get to this point. There's a twitter community and other bigger onlline communities too. One thing, we're definitely not alone. This happens to a lot of people. It's real. Best form of defence, is being happy to everyone, beaming and welcoming them - we can't afford to seem shy or nervous. Alleviate as much anxiety as possible. Of course, hide, wear headphones on buses, be practical, be realistic in the jobs you can get. Offices, stagnant nervous working environments around others, etc - not gonna work. Biggest help is depersonalising them. Pretend and lie to yourself they're normal infectious coughs. Don't over think the directed cough and what they meant. Part of the attack is the confusion intended - it's oblique and covert negative attack. You've had a great night. You walk out the bar laughing with your friends and to end the night 'BARK', a cough right in your face from someone walking in looking at you like the shit that smarted their shoe, if not worse.

Don't ponder and mull for one second. Make a conscious effort to not let it affect you, the great night and think positive about all your great friends.. Otherwise every day will be end on a negative. E.g. Think - "i only got 1 cough today. I knew why.. What's on TV :)" Not "OMG, that person coughed just now! will it never end, fuck me it's getting worse. " Change your thought process and our reaction to them if you cant change the reactions. Still HAVE FAITH we can have enriching lives and get postive reactions from some if not most people. Be strong finally. We obviously all are to have taken what we already have. To live a day in our lives, we're braver than most. Pat yourself on the back. I actively beam out at people, so they feel less need to make covert attacks. It usually works. Do self feedback to see what works too, but don't stress yourself . They're negative [the reactions]. Don't let them get to you. The less you think about them, the better. Lose anxiety (with medication if you want at first), do everything to increase your confidence and DEPERSONALISE the coughs. Counsellors and people who listen, and all friends and support for you are brilliant. Avoid shrinks however.... They won't understand beyond prespcriptions for anxiety, and if they do know its directed coughing, won't be able to do much to help. Best, Fay xx