Gracie Canfield 2011 ways-to-get-your-ex-back.

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Break Up to Make Up

1. Dealing with Break Up Pain ...........................3

A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on.

2. How to Win Back Lost Love ..5

You need to spend some time thinking about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. What will be different?

3. Should You Really Get Back Together?..........8

If you really want this to happen and are willing to follow a plan, it can happen. However, as pointed out earlieryou must ask yourself if your ex is truly the right one for you.

4. How to Get Over Someone You Love .10

After letting some time pass and youve come to the conclusion that the relationship is doomed its usually one of two reasons:

5. Relationship Quotes for Your Enjoyment 12

"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made - like bread, remade all the time, made new." Ursula K. LeGuin

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Break Up to Make Up

1. Dealing with Break Up Pain

Dealing with break up pain, any way that you look at it, is not going to be an easy or enjoyable task. A lot of people incorrectly believe that they will be able to manage their heartbreak, only to find out that carrying a torch for someone after a love affair is a lot like grieving, at least if you look at the relationship as having passed on.

Surviving Day to Day

When it comes to dealing with a broken intimate relationship, it is important that you look past the pain and find a way to survive even when things seem impossible for the time being. Relationship break up puts a lot of people through fear and misery. Some of the people going through these feelings have no one in the world to turn to, and this is why people suffer so hard from heartbreak in the first place. Its a very lonely time indeed. Dealing with break up pain all by yourself can seem impossible at first, but consider how many people deal with love and loss in their lives and survive to talk about it. You too will be able to get over what feels like a crippling break up, but only if you are willing to deal with heartbreak pain the right way, and the healthy way for that matter.

Dont Dwell on the Breakup

So why is the pain from a lost love break up so difficult? Because when dealing with a break up, it will seem as if you are the only one who has suffered the kind of pain youre going through. It is important that you continue to try to heal rather than allowing yourself to give up on the situation.

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Dwelling on the painful split from your lover will NOT help you, so instead you should work on getting better and moving on. The attitude of moving on will allow you to disengage from the situation, and keep a healthy perspective. Spend time with your friends and let them help you get your mind off your heartbreak. Don't dwell on the bad feelings, but focus on the good parts of your life in order to promote healing.

Widen Your Social Circle

Your friends will probably realize that you're going through something serious, and they will more than likely dedicate themselves to trying to help you through it. If this is the case, don't blow them off, because going out and spending time with your friends and the people that you care about will be extremely helpful when it comes to dealing with break up pain. Everyone goes through a period where they are dealing with break up pain, because everyone goes through a breakup. Rather than allow yourself to suffer while dealing with breaking up pain. What you should do is enjoy yourself and work on healing rather than allowing yourself to become stressed out, overwhelmed or depressed by your heartbreak. If you only have a friend or two, look into widening your social circle. For instance: Take classes in something fun (cooking, sailing, painting) Join a meet-up circle in your area (www.meetup.com) Get involved in a church or other altruistic activity Work out at a gym several times a week All of the above!

You dont have to find someone else to date right away, but it is important to stay upbeat and connected to others. After some time has passed, you can be more objective about the break upand decide if pursuing reconciliation with your ex might be a possibility. If not, then youll have already created a life where your ex is no longer the priority and moving on becomes a lot easier.

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2. How to Win Back Lost Love

Okay, so youve let some time pass and are leaning toward reconciliation with your ex, but your ex may not be showing a lot of interest. If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You MUST be totally honest with yourself. You have to decide if you and your ex getting back together will truly make you happy, or it is likely youll wind up down the same road that caused the break up in the first place. It's always easy after a break up to only think of the good times. It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.

What will be Different?

You should really think hard about the relationship and your ex before you do anything. Think about how things were and how they will be now. What will be different? Are you willing to make changes? If not, you cant expect your ex to make changes either and you two are likely to continue to butt heads. Try to be as unbiased as you can. You might decide that the break upreally wasnt such a bad idea after all. Again, being completely honest with yourself is important in making the right decision.

Make it a Sincere Apology

If you do decide to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize. You might think youve already done this. You might have said you were sorry several times. But if your ex thought you were apologizing just to stop a breakup, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

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If you were the one who did something that needs apologizing for, then apologize yet again without appearing desperate. Your ex may now be ready to believe the apology is sincere because nothing hinges on it the relationship has already ended.

Do You Really Mean It?

Heres the thing do you really mean it when you say youre sorry? If not, then you need to examine why that is as youre probably not ready to rekindle the relationship just yet. Since you are the one initiating getting back together, you must be willing to be vulnerable and take a little humiliation if it helps your ex let go of his or her anger and hurt. Winning back lost love is a process that takes time and if you are not truly sincere in your apology theres really no point in going further. You simply wont have the gumption to see this process through.

Forgive You Dont Have to Forget

If your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than try to get a sincere apology from them - forgive them. You may never forget, especially if your break upwas because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive. Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, I forgive you, so you might want to read a book or two on forgiveness and how to really mean it. If you want to win back lost love, true forgiveness will help you to do it. And it can help prevent problems in the future as well. If you do succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old issues might come up. In fact, you can count on it. If you havent truly forgiven the person for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a hard time getting past everything. Old wounds will be reopened and its likely that hurtful things will be said.

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Break Up to Make Up Short Cut to Love Again

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there wont be any need to rehash the past. True forgiveness is the shortcut back to love again. While youre working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened to cause the break up, work on forgiving them for the break up itself and youll save yourself lots of grief down the road. Also, to win back lost love, show the person the "wonderful you" they fell in love with, not the less-than-lovable you that has been dumped. Your ex was with you because you have certain qualities like kindness and thoughtfulness, not because youre angry, jealous or hurt. Concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.

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3. Should You Really Get Back Together?

Absolutely! In reality, most relationships are totally worth saving. If you really want this to happen and are willing to follow a plan, it can happen. However, as pointed out earlieryou must ask yourself if your ex is truly the right one for you. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. If your partner was physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship. If they were mentally unstable, you are probably better off without them. If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Do NOT Pester Your Ex!

Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea. If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether it is by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good. This kind of behavior stinks of desperation and will only push your ex farther away. No one likes someone who acts dependant and clingy. Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone. Your mind manifests all sorts of wrongs that you may have done. When your ex broke up with you they may have given you reasons why. Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them. You probably wish you had never done those things. However, the past is the past. This is the present.

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Break Up to Make Up You Cant Go Back In Time

You must get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over. You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could. Concentrate on what is going on now. If you back off, give them some time, and live your life. You'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one. As mentioned earlier, it is absolutely crucial to create a life without your ex involved. You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you. By behaving in a mature and confident manner, your ex will gain respect for you and begin to see you with new eyes. You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too. (Check out http://best-breakup-advice.info for a full step by step plan of action in winning back the love of your life.)

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Break Up to Make Up

4. How to Get Over Someone You Love

After letting some time pass and youve come to the conclusion that the relationship is doomed its usually one of two reasons: You realize the relationship is an unhealthy one and shouldnt be reactivated. Your ex has moved on beyond any hope of reconciliation.

If you want to know how to get over someone you still love, you must realize that none of the answers are easy ones. No matter how ready you might think you are to move on and get over that person, that fact you are asking how to do it shows that its going to be a painful process for you. Sometimes its a slow process, too. You might think youre over someone and a year or two later be reminded of that person and feel all the pain and sadness again. That doesnt mean youre not over the person, though. If youve had a lot emotion invested into a relationship and it ends, its something that can potentially make you feel sad for years. Maybe even for the rest of your life. But that doesnt mean the sadness has to be paralyzing or has to throw you into a depression. By getting over the person, you can realize that losing them made you sad, and look back on it as you would any sad loss. Realize the period of time soon after the loss is going to be the hardest and that the emotional intensity will gradually lessen as you work through the pain.

Face the Pain and Ride it Out

If the break up is new, unfortunately the only way to deal with it is just to face the pain and ride it out. Its going to hurt, no matter what you do. But there are some things you can do to lessen the pain. You can remove obvious visual reminders of the person, if possible. Photographs of them can be put away for a while. Gifts they gave you can be stored or even given away. You can even avoid the places you used to go together for a while. This tip can be found in pretty much every list that explains how to get over someone you love, so its at least a popular idea thats worth a try.
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Seek Counseling if Necessary

If youre really having trouble living your life after the break-up, it might be necessary to seek counseling. Simply explain that youve just been through a painful break-up and ask the counselor how to get over someone you love. They can offer helpful advice, and can be more specific than generic lists about how to get over someone you love. A counselor can also probably offer more objective advice than friends or family. Your friends and family might feel they know your situation too well. Some may have ulterior motives in helping you get over the person. They might not have liked that you were in the relationship to begin with, so they might want you to get over things or move on to another person too quickly. With a counselor, though, you can safely tell them things about the relationship you probably dont want friends or family to even know. Feel free to go to counseling for as long as you need to. If the counselor feels youre spending too much time dwelling on how to get over someone you love, theyll tell you.

Next Steps to Take

Did you find this report helpful? For a step by step plan of action on recovering lost love, check out T.W. (T-Dub) Jacksons Magic of Making Up. T.W. is a relationship guru who has been through this process himself, as have I and tens of thousands of others. If you think there is any chance at all in salvaging a troubled romance, you owe it to yourself to at least give it your best shot!

http://best-breakup-advice.info

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5. Relationship Quotes for Your Enjoyment

1. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." -Oprah Winfrey 2. "Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins 3. "Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn 4. "The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time." Caroline Myss 5. "Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." Mark Twain 6. "Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last, are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with" -Gillian Anderson 7. "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." Aristotle 8. "The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." Helen Keller 9. "Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found." Winston Churchill 10. "To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person." Eric Fromm

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11. "Man is a knot into which relationships are tied." -Antoine de Saint-Exupry 12. "You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when it is right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete." -Keith Sweat 13. "Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others." - Stephen R. Covey 14. "Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made - like bread, remade all the time, made new." Ursula K. LeGuin 15. "Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's really no fun lying to 'em anymore." -Norm from Cheers

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