TREATMENT of SEX ADDICTION: Group Therapy Although sex addicts differ in regard to their particular acting out behaviors,

all sex addicts share certain similarities. Typically, they are disconnected from their feelings, substitute sexual behavior for emotional intimacy and have distorted and painful interpersonal relationships. The problem of emotional alienation is compounded for men who, in our culture, are usually not connected to a social group in which they can bond and discuss feelings. Group therapy is a highly effective treatment modality for sex addicts. It reduces shame and denial, limits isolation, increases socialization skills and the development of empathy. The process also fosters the development of intimacy and helps sex addicts develop the coping skills they need to meet their emotional needs in interaction with supportive others, rather than through sexual behaviors. Below is a list of the processes and benefits of group therapy for sex addicts:

You may have come to treatment feeling extremely hopeless. By seeing others recover, the addict's faith that treatment can and will be effective is fostered. A sense of universality helps addicts to realize that an individual is not alone in his or her addiction and that others have experienced similar problems. This experience tends to reduce a member's sense of uniqueness and reinforces the fact that each person is not unique. Sex addicts are often alienated from others and experience a great deal of shame and loneliness. The group provides a safe place to practice trusting others. You may learn to feel free to care about each other because of this climate of trust. You begin to see that you can talk about feelings and elicit support. The therapist and group members offer effective ways to deal with life's problems. Education about 12-step support groups, the addiction cycle, identification of healthy relationships, re-framing the meaning of sexuality and relapse-prevention strategies is also imparted. The opportunity to help another person (altruism) and to feel useful increases selfesteem and challenges one's own demoralized position. Helping other group members can challenge this sense of worthlessness. Learning basic interpersonal skills helps the addict turn to people, instead of fantasy enactments, in times of need. Group therapy helps you to develop new ways of relating to people Group members serve as role models for other members through self-disclosure and honesty. When the therapist listens attentively and provides direct eye contact and sympathetic expressions, she promotes a positive attitude and an understanding of the importance of what you are saying. Through modeling the therapist, group members learn how to help each other feel both supported and understood. When one member shares his or her secrets, it encourages others to take risks as well. You

have the opportunity to see how others work through their problems without returning to destructive behaviors.

A sense of cohesiveness is the element that causes members to connect with the group and take seriously the events that occur in it. It is what makes the group really matter to its members. Because sex addicts have been hurt so badly in childhood, they tend to refrain from trusting others or personally investing themselves in adult relationships. Immersion in a therapeutic group can help heal and rectify the interpersonal wounds of childhood. Catharsis in groups can be defined simply as the open expression of feelings. Experiencing and expressing strong feelings is extremely important for sex addicts, who have often repressed their emotions. Sex addicts fear that if they state where they are emotionally, they will alienate others. In fact, members of the group generally learn those emotional experiences can promote feelings of connection with others and not a sense of isolation. Lack of structure can be a warning sign for a sex addict. The group forms a support structure and a quasi-family that supports one another and provides empathy and understanding where there once was none. For many sex addicts, lack of structure in their lives can be a trigger to act out. Keeping your time structured through being in the company of family, friends and recovery buddies helps to mediate that trigger. The Group provides accountability, which is another structure that addicts require to recover. Individuals who are accountable to others throughout the course of their recovery are more likely to be successful in achieving and maintaining sexual sobriety. The members of a therapy group provide an extra level of accountability by taking an active role in others continued growth and success. Lack of accountability is often another strong trigger for the sexually addicted.

Breaking free from this odious addiction can seem an overwhelming and impossible task. In the group experience, recovering addicts witness first hand what is possible from others in recovery like themselves. Without hope and a sense of direction, discouragement and self defeat can quickly lead to relapse, but when the hope of sobriety is nourished, abstinence becomes more attainable. Profound personal and interpersonal change and growth can occur in a cohesive group. I believe it is a critical component of the mix. A sex addiction in-patient rehab recently did a survey about which benefits their patients found most helpful. They said sharing feelings, a sense of belonging and learning about recovery skills were most helpful. Interestingly, the statement, Revealing embarrassing things about myself and still being accepted by others, was the single most healing aspect of group therapy. This finding suggests that acceptance and a sense of belonging, perhaps the very aspects of intimacy that addicts most fear, are also the very needs they are trying to get met through compulsive sex.