1 APPLE (c) 2010 CHARACTERS FRANK, father JOAN, mother ELIZABETH, daughter SETTING: In the family home.

TIME: Now.

2 One In the bedroom JOAN and FRANK lie apart in bed. There is a big gap between them. Big enough to fit a child. In fact, ELIZABETH is between them. JOAN: What do you want Elizabeth? ELIZABETH: It was cold in my cot. JOAN: Get another blanket then. ELIZABETH: I couldnt reach the shelf in the cupboard. Im only...four. JOAN: Did you try Elizabeth? ELIZABETH: Yes, Ma. But you put the blankets so high. I sprained my ankle when I fell down. JOAN: Oh thats highly convenient. But youll never get a man if youre so helpless. Isnt that right? Frank? FRANK: Listen to your mother. Always listen to your mother. ELIZABETH lifts her legs. She presents her ankles to JOAN. ELIZABETH: Im only...eight. I dont know how to dress a wound. JOAN examines ELIZABETHs ankle. JOAN: I wouldnt flatter yourself by calling that a wound. Its like youre crying wolf. ELIZABETH: Im not a wolf. Im a little girl. Im 12. Im 12. I think. JOAN: Frank! Make your daughter stop. By the sounds of it, she prefers to live in a time machine than to know her age. Shell be 16 in no time. FRANK: Come here Elizabeth. Come to your fathers lap. ELIZABETH sits on FRANKs lap. JOAN: How well you two fit. The pipes from the cellar begin to grumble. The bed shakes. ELIZABETH: Whats happening Pa?

3 FRANK: Its nothing. Dont be scared. JOAN: What a stupid thing to say, Frank. FRANK: Well Im sorry. I dont imagine youll be fixing the pipes. JOAN: Youre full of stupid thoughts, Frank. You really are. FRANK climbs out of bed. ELIZABETH: Where are you going? FRANK: Its ok, Elizabeth. JOAN: Dont make pouty faces, Elizabeth. Youll wrinkle. Your father wont be gone long. Hes just going down to the cellar to fix the pipes. FRANK climbs under the bed. He disappears in the direction of the cellar. The bed stops shaking. JOAN: Come to your mothers lap, Elizabeth. ELIZABETH crawls over. She climbs into JOANs lap. JOAN: Id like to tell you a story, Elizabeth. It will help you start the day. ELIZABETH: Whats it about? JOAN: Dont be so impatient. Close your eyes. ELIZABETH closes her eyes. JOAN: Once upon a time there lived a little princess. A beautiful little girl. Such was her beauty that they locked up in the cellar. Down she went among the cheese, apple cider and shanks of cured pork. Much like all good princesses, this one becomes a Queen on her 21st birthday and over the course of her life she bears seven children to her King. Seven, of course, is a large number. This we appreciate. The reason the Queen bore seven was because the children kept dying in the cellar. The first six to go were boys. The seventh though was a tiny girl. She survived in the dark and the shadows. So the new princess was sent to live upstairs, where her father, the King, lived too. And she became then the only princess to live among the people. The King, out of habit, would still come downstairs. He checked on the dead children and his Queen. ELIZABETH: I can picture her, Ma. Shes pale. Theres no sun in the cellar. JOAN: But she no longer lives down there.

4 ELIZABETH: Yes, youre right, Ma. I can see how she crawled up the stairs. JOAN: When a Queen, after many years, is old enough and she no longer bears children she is allowed to live with her people. Then we have, as is the will of the people, a King, a Princess and one old crone. Two In the cellar Someone is crying. The cries intermingle with the sound of the washing machine on the spin cycle. FRANK walks towards it. He feels his way through the dark. The cries are wails, they stretch out and echo. FRANK: Hello. Hello. Shh. Shh. Its ok. Shh. Shh. FRANKs nearly there, nearly at the washing machine. The cries fade away. The spin cycle stops. Silence. FRANK pauses, searching for the crying. He walks towards the washing machine. There is water all around it, a moat. And the closer he gets, the deeper the water becomes. FRANK: Come out. Its ok. He opens the lid of the washing machine. There is whimpering, it seems to emanate from inside. He puts his hand in but all he manages to pull out are freshly cleaned childrens clothing. Dry and clean. He drops them in the water and the clothes float, like lily pads. He gets more and more involved trying to locate the sounds, pulling out clothes. His arm gets stuck and he panics, frightened. The crying starts up again. FRANK closes the washing machine lid to muffle the sound and hoists himself up on top of the machine. He sits there and listens to the whimpering, keeping it contained. Three In the dining room JOAN and FRANK eat breakfast. JOAN reads the morning newspaper.

5 ELIZABETH, a grown adult woman, is unconscious under the table. JOAN: (About the newspaper.) Oh it shits me, Frank. You? FRANK: I dont know, dear. I dont know. ELIZABETH awakens with a heavy panting. JOAN and FRANK stop eating. They step back from the table. They crouch. They both see ELIZABETH and yelp. She yelps in return. JOAN: Who is she? FRANK: I dont know! ELIZABETH: I dont know! JOAN: Frank, who is this girl? FRANK: Why should I know? ELIZABETH: (Crawling out.) Why should I know? JOAN: (To ELIZABETH.) Who are you? ELIZABETH: Who are you? JOAN: I asked you first. ELIZABETH: I asked you first. JOAN: Who are you? ELIZABETH: Who are you? JOAN: Do you want money? Is that it? ELIZABETH: Is that it? JOAN: Frank, dont just stand there. Get my phone, call the police. FRANK: (Running to JOANs bag.) Ok ok. JOAN: (To ELIZABETH.) If its just money you want well give you what we have. Ok? ELIZABETH: Ok? JOAN: Is that a yes? ELIZABETH: Yes? FRANK: What in Gods name is going on? ELIZABETH: What Gods name is going on? FRANK: Why must you carry so much in your bag? ELIZABETH: Why must you carry so much in your bag? JOAN: My wallet is in the middle section. Its the brown leatherWhy am I telling you? You know what my wallet looks like. You bought it for me. ELIZABETH slaps JOAN.

FRANK: Joan? JOAN: She just She slapped me. ELIZABETH: She slapped me. JOAN: Stop REPEATING me. ELIZABETH slaps her again. JOAN: Ow. ELIZABETH retreats and scoots back under the table. FRANK: (Running back to JOAN.) My goodness are you ok, Joan? Ill call the police. I found your phone. JOAN: Ill call. You use your muscles. Tie her up. JOAN gets onto the phone while FRANK goes over to ELIZABETH. JOAN speaks in the background on the phone. FRANK: (To ELIZABETH) Im not going to hurt you. Come out. Its ok. ELIZABETH shakes her head. FRANK: Can you understand me? ELIZABETH: FRANK. FRANK: Yes, thats my name. Whats yours? ELIZABETH: FRANK. FRANK. You fucking arsehole FRANK. You know my fucking name. You know my fucking body. You know what my fucking blood looks like. You know what colour I shit. Fucking FRANK. You dirty fuck. FRANK steps back. He is shaken. JOAN gets off the phone. JOAN: Well, Id be lying if I said I was surprised. The police are a joke. Apparently they Office-inCharge says theyll send a car around sometime today. They want us to keep her here. FRANK: No. Well let her go. She hasnt harmed us. JOAN: She slapped me.

7 FRANK: I know I know. But shes probably some criminal whos broke in. Lets give her enough for a meal then get her out of here. JOAN: How do you propose we do that? FRANK: I dont know. ELIZABETH: Maybe you should just pinch me and stuff me somewhere else Frank. Beat. FRANK: (To JOAN.) I dont know what shes talking about. ELIZABETH: I dont know what shes talking about. I dont know. What the fuck? How much shit is in your bag? Oh. Oh. Oh. Yes. Fuck me FRANK. With your big fucking fucker. Fuck me. FRANK: (Kneeling, dragging ELIZABETH out.) I dont know who you are. You want money, you criminal? Or what? What do you want? Get out here and tell us what you want. The police are coming do you hear? The police are coming. You have no right to be in our home. GET OUT. (Standing her up, pushing her.) Get out. ELIZABETH throws herself into FRANKs arms. She whimpers. FRANK: Get out. ELIZABETH: Get out. FRANK pushes her into a chair. He steps away. She sits. JOAN sits. JOAN: You look like the girl in the paper. ELIZABETH: You look like the girl in the paper. Beat. JOAN: You do. ELIZABETH: You do. JOAN: Ok. ELIZABETH: Ok. JOAN: (Pause.) Im not going out today. Im going to stay home. Ill read the newspaper. Ill read it in the bedroom. (About the newspaper.) Im looking forward to this. Theres still the

8 international news to read. I might glean further insights into, well, people I guess. I might grow weary and fall asleep. I might sleep past lunch. FRANK sits. Soon, ELIZABETH prepares some toast for herself. She eats. She makes quite the mess. FRANK tucks into breakfast. He is also quite hungry. JOAN doesnt touch a thing. She reads. Four In her bedroom ELIZABETH writes her first ever love letter ELIZABETH: Kane I kept a goose under the stilts. The head mistress heard it humming and so she says she stood still to watch it a lavender goose but all that was left when I came down was a wreath of twigs and eider fluff. Its the most brutal thing, a lie. I bit my lip and went back to Maths. Do you know what theyre teaching? The theorem about the probability of lines. Two lines parallel are equal but when one is placed at a perpendicular angle you can deduct from this a manner of all things about the way the world is built. I tune out when it gets too technical. You know Im not very good with those details. All the numbers. To think, infinite numbers. It still makes me drift. I look over and I see your desk and there is dust there in the grooves. They havent replaced you. They say there wont be any new students coming until the Spring-time. They put a doll there, half your size. Its not the same. Id like to be like a ventriloquist and throw my voice but Im still shrilly, even when Im whispering. I miss whispering. Ill try now. There. I know you wont be able to hear me but know that Im whispering all the time and youre there, when my voice is low. Dear Kane, I love you with all my heart. I named the goose after you. Never mind, I tend to think about symbols more than numbers and symbols have their own laws too. And I hope youre well, fishing in the trawler. Catch a salmon for me. Oh Kane. I am your sweetheart. Forever. Yours truly, Elizabeth. Five In the bathroom FRANK shaves. ELIZABETH showers beside him. FRANK: Turn the water off. I cant hear you when youre speaking as youre showering.

9 ELIZABETH: Well maybe if you showered with me at the same time youd hear me and we wouldnt waste water. FRANK: So the lady said to you? ELIZABETH: She wanted to talk about my business, in front of everyone. Everyone Frank. She really has no idea that woman, whats right, whos there, and what is just plain offensive. FRANK: The woman? ELIZABETH: Yes, the woman. Frank. JOAN enters. JOAN: Oh. ELIZABETH: Joan, God / please JOAN: Sorry ELIZABETH: Christ, knock. JOAN: Sorry, I didnt realise you were in here. ELIZABETH: You didnt realise? JOAN: Uh-huh. ELIZABETH: You didnt hear the water running downstairs? JOAN: I had the tap running, and the dishwasher. ELIZABETH: And I suppose its raining outside. (To FRANK.) Frank. FRANK: What? ELIZABETH: Joans been spying on me while youve been out at work. JOAN: I have not. ELIZABETH: Look at you. JOAN: You cant even see me. ELIZABETH: I can imagine it. JOAN: I havent been spying Elizabeth. FRANK: Shit. ELIZABETH: What? FRANK: I nicked myself. I damn well nicked my own throat. ELIZABETH: (To FRANK.) I want / to see. FRANK: (To JOAN). Is it bleeding? JOAN: Yes. A lot. You have some sort of death wish. FRANK: Dont be so melodramatic. JOAN: Sorry. Let me dab it. FRANK: Careful... JOAN: You have a strip of hair left on your throat. Would you like me to...Ill go around the wound. FRANK: Yes.

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JOAN shaves FRANK. ELIZABETH: (To FRANK.) What are you two doing out there? JOAN: Im shaving this helpless man. He has to go out and be respectable. No-ones going to want to deal with him if hes slit his throat. ELIZABETH: Dont be so...melodramatic... JOAN: Joan ELIZABETH: Joan. JOAN: (Pause.) Dont stay too long in the water. Youll shrivel. ELIZABETH: No I wont. Ill scald. The water is on hot. The cold taps busted. JOAN: Open the window then. ELIZABETH: Its stuck. JOAN: Youre going to blister. (To FRANK.) Shes so stubborn. It drives me crazy. ELIZABETH: What else am I supposed to do all day? JOAN: (To FRANK.) Now shes being melodramatic. ELIZABETH: Im just saying. (Pause.) Im saying. JOAN: She pretends and she plays sweet when youre here but as soon as youre gone shes an imp. Im trying the best I can, Frank. FRANK: Im going to have a very busy day today Joan. JOAN: I know / I know. FRANK: So please dont disturb me at work. ELIZABETH: Hey / Hey. Im saying. JOAN: (To FRANK.) Ok. FRANK: Very busy Ill be. No time for chats. JOAN: What if something happens to Elizabeth and I need to call to discuss it? FRANK: Take care nothing does / and then you wont need to disturb me. ELIZABETH: Youre talking about me. FRANK: (To JOAN.) Ill be very busy. JOAN: Because you are very important. I can see that. I can feel that you are. FRANK: Not now / Joan. ELIZABETH: Are you still talking about me? FRANK: Yes. (To JOAN.) Make sure she doesnt stay in too long. JOAN: Your suits are on the bed. I put out two. I pressed them. See which takes your fancy. FRANK leaves.

11 JOAN pulls back the shower curtain. The steam from the hot shower seeps out. A giant mushroom cloud. JOAN is enveloped. She cant see. She steps into the bath-tub. She starts walking towards ELIZABETH, whos just a silhouette. JOAN: Darling? Its hot. The water starts to drain. The water rushes down the drain past JOANs ankles, scalding her feet. She gasps. JOAN: Ahhh. ELIZABETH: Ma. Im out. / Im on the other side. JOAN: Ahh f-f-fuck. ELIZABETH: Come on. Come on. Youve been in there a long time. JOAN steps out. She hobbles with her injured ankles. He skin around her feet has loosened and bulges like socks. ELIZABETH watches. JOAN and ELIZABETH stand in front of the bathroom mirror. ELIZABETH: You want a towel? She passes JOAN a towel. ELIZABETH: Oh its going to be a very important day today. You hear me? JOAN: (Pause.) Dont disturb me. ELIZABETH: Dont disturb me Joan. Beat. JOAN: Not even / if... ELIZABETH: Not even if little Elizabeth asks you to. Six The entryway, by the front door Its the first day... ELIZABETH in her winter jacket.

12 JOAN brushes her daughters hair. ELIZABETH: With a ribbon. JOAN: Pink for girls. ELIZABETH: For babies. JOAN: You dont want a ribbon? ELIZABETH: What do you think? JOAN: Im not sure now. ELIZABETH: I dont mean to snap. JOAN: No I know that, I see that. ELIZABETH: I wish you could come too. JOAN: I would love to come. ELIZABETH: Would you? JOAN: Oh yes. But you have my jacket. ELIZABETH: Then take it. JOAN: Youll catch a chill. ELIZABETH: I dont want it. I dont need it. JOAN: Dont be silly. ELIZABETH: Ow. I hate it. JOAN: Ow? ELIZABETH: It hurts. JOAN: What? ELIZABETH: Its too big. Its so heavy. It hurts me all over. Im bruised. JOAN: You are not. ELIZABETH: You cant even see it. You dont even check. JOAN: Youre just being childish. ELIZABETH: I am a child. JOAN: A baby. My baby. ELIZABETH: I look like a monster in it. Im a monster. JOAN: Youre so pretty. Youre a pretty little girl. In a pretty coat. ELIZABETH: And gloves. JOAN: For what? ELIZABETH: To hide my claws. JOAN: What claws? ELIZABETH: I dont want to show you. Im so embarrassed. JOAN: Im your mother. Theres nothing to be embarrassed about. Ive seen everything. ELIZABETH: Not my claws. JOAN: Then let me see Elizabeth.

13 ELIZABETH: No. No. JOAN: Little monster arent you. Show me these claws. ELIZABETH: Ill scratch you. ELIZABETH takes off the coat. One arm at a time. But each time she removes an arm, she puts the other one back in. JOAN joins in on the game too, getting mock-cross with ELIZABETHs play-games. Then both women are laughing, giggling like little girls. Eventually JOAN wrestles ELIZABETHs coat off. Shes left in her underwear and a pinafore and gloves over her hands. Her pinafore swells over the bump over her pregnant belly. JOAN notices. ELIZABETH tries to distract. JOAN: Whats that? ELIZABETH: Whats what? JOAN: Under your dress. ELIZABETH: Nothing. Youre delusional. JOAN: Dont treat me like a dolt. ELIZABETH: Dont stomp. JOAN: Im not. ELIZABETH: Your little feet are shaking. Look at your ankles. JOAN: Dont look at my ankles. I hate my ankles. ELIZABETH: Your little knees are quivering. JOAN: Stop it. ELIZABETH: Look at your thighs! Theyre shaking, theyre rumbling. And whats that in between? JOAN: My legs. ELIZABETH: There are some things you dont need to see. Theyll make you think things. JOAN: I am thinking things. ELIZABETH: Silly things. Beat. JOAN: Youve got a package under your dress. ELIZABETH: Yes I do, Joan. I do. You know why I need this package? Im going to have to walk the whole way to the hospital. I might get hungry. I needed to take food. I didnt want to stop in at the store. Get interrogated by some kid. Some kid at the counter. Interrogating me, in this

14 coat of yours. Asking questions. Poking fun at my package. To save me the grief, you see, you see Ma, can you see what Im saying, where Im coming from, can you understand, I just wanted to have the food handy. Ill be gone for an hour. JOAN: Youre lying. ELIZABETH: Ok I am. Im going to take my merry time. I dont know where the hospital is. JOAN: I know where it is. It burnt down. ELIZABETH: Now youre lying. Tell me how to get there Joan. JOAN: I cant hear you. ELIZABETH: Joan. JOAN: Whos there? ELIZABETH: You. JOAN: No whos there? ELIZABETH: Where? JOAN: At the door. ELIZABETH: No-one. JOAN: Frank will drive you when he gets home. ELIZABETH: My tummy is sore. I need to go now. I need to check into the emergency ward. Ow. JOAN: Stop it. ELIZABETH: It hurts. My tummy. JOAN: Its all that food you eat. Piggy. ELIZABETH: Im a monster. Ill scratch your cheeks. Give me your coat. JOAN: Come and get it you little monster. ELIZABETH tries to get the coat off JOAN. At first it is earnest, ELIZABETH really wants it. But she keeps doubling over with pain. JOAN is laughing. And then ELIZABETH is too, her stomach cramps mingling with laughing pains. They play chasies. They collapse onto the floor, giggling. They are right in front of the door. A shadow from the other side falls over them. They both freeze. Then they slip out from the shadow. It looms and they back away. And it looms and covers them. The girls giggle and duck out to the side. The shadow recedes.

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ELIZABETH: Monster. JOAN: A monster. ELIZABETH and JOAN both scream. Theyre terrified. They calm down and then its all just fun. Theyre not terrified anymore. ELIZABETH: Its too much fun here. Seven The living room ELIZABETH and JOAN watch telly. JOAN an old decrepit woman. ELIZABETH an old woman too. ELIZABETH: And this filth, and they have it on the TV, honestly, Joan. JOAN: What? ELIZABETH: Its filth. JOAN: What? What? ELIZABETH: I said filth. The filth. Do I have to JOAN: What? ELIZABETH: Filth. JOAN: And this filth. ELIZABETH: Yes. JOAN: What? Their attention goes back to the TV. And we can see it, showing FRANK in some other-worldly place. FRANK, a young man, building a large a mouse-trap. Its being built around a mouse that is rather like the size of a house-cat. The mouse is just going about its business unaware of FRANK. FRANK so diligent, he puts a lot of care into his mouse-traps. He is working with the sort of attention a craftsman has. You can tell hes been working for many days and nights now. But there is only the skeleton of the trap built: a fine, delicate skeleton, almost wispy like a cobweb. And still the mouse continues, not knowing what is going on. It moves a little and its nose bumps against the trap. And then it senses its own entrapment so it scurries back a metre. The mouse is miserable. FRANK almost cries with relief, hes been working so hard after all. The mouses misery is

16 recognition for FRANKs efforts. How he longs to enter the mouse-trap and hug his little friend! FRANK passes a hand through the cob-web wall of the trap. The mouse shoots forth and chomps into his arm. FRANK watches the teeth sink into his skin. And hes too disappointed that he doesnt recoil immediately. He shakes the mouse off and with one firm hit he squashes the mouses head until everything inside it oozes out through its mouth. ELIZABETH chortles at the TV. She chortles until she giggles until shes gurgling like a baby in a cot. And then shes shivering in a cot without anything to cover her. ELIZABETH: A-ma-ma-ma. Mmmmmmmm. A-ma-ma-ma. Oma. Oma. Ma. JOAN: Mama. / Baby. ELIZABETH: Mmmmm. Ma. Omaaa Mmmma-amamama. Mmmm. / Mmmouse. JOAN: A-ma mouse. ELIZABETH: A-ma mouse. JOAN: What? ELIZABETH: Happy happy. Baby a-ma-ma. Shh. Shh. And soon ELIZABETH nods off into a peaceful, still slumber. JOAN is awake. Eight In the pantry JOAN: And the lemon tree in the yard, I seize that by its lower boughs and shake it. I have this desire to dance all over the fallen fruit. I pick the finest lemons and take them back, inside my scooped up apron. I throw them onto the linoleum and I dance over the rinds. I get a funnel and place it into a jug and will the juice to rise up and enter the chute. I think a lot about the chute. A quart of cream. I used to milk the cows. It was a terrible time for the whole family but a splendid time for me. I was stuck to cow teets. And every time I think of cream I get a tingle. A flan with a lemon curd filling needs fresh cream so in it goes. In it goes. And I think of chutes. And the fan in the oven whirs. And it takes about an hour on 350. And you know its ready when the skin forms and the opaqueness of the curd is... I can almost taste it, that barn, and the things I saw there.

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Nine The cellar Its dark. The door opens. Light creeps in. FRANK on the stairs. ELIZABETH at the top of the stairs. ELIZABETH: Once upon a time, down in the cellar, there lived a brave little prince. He had one arm longer than the other one and both his eyes were closed. He was blind at birth so it didnt matter how dark it got. And he couldnt smell very well so he couldnt smell nice things like cheese or pork. But he loved apple cider. He loved it more than milk. This was good because there was no-one around to feed him milk. But there was cider he could help himself to. You see, Pa, people thought the prince was dead. But sometimes when he bumped his head on the ceiling and screamed from the pain, if you listened carefully, he could be heard from upstairs. Beat. FRANK: You mustnt open the door unless someone has knocked on it. ELIZABETH: I only opened it because I needed your help. I need you to open this jar. FRANK: Pass it here. ELIZABETH: Its dark down there. I cant see who Im passing it to. FRANK: Just me. Come on then. Roll the jar down. Ill catch it. ELIZABETH rolls it down. FRANK reaches out. FRANK: There. See? ELIZABETH: Thanks Pa. ELIZABETH rolls down another jar. FRANK: Hold on. Elizabeth. ELIZABETH: Yes? FRANK: Its hard for me to see down here so please be patient.

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ELIZABETH rolls down more jars and more. FRANK cant catch them all and they roll all the way down the stairs. Instead of crashing on the concrete ground they plop into water. ELIZABETH: Whats that? FRANK: Whats what? ELIZABETH: I hear water. FRANK: In the cellar? ELIZABETH: Yes. FRANK climbs the stairs. He flicks on the light switch. The cellar is lit up. It is barren and dry. There is nothing there. The stair way is lit up too. FRANK: There must have been some water. Now its gone. Do you want to come down and see, have a look with me? We can play detectives. Water detectives. If it counts, Detective, I cant even make out any puddles. And there appears to be nothing dripping from the ceilings. And I cant see any bursts pipes. No wet cracks. No cracks. Nothing seeping up from underground. ELIZABETH: Sorry to bother you, Pa. (Pause.) Detective. FRANK: Not in the least. Come down and see. ELIZABETH: Ok. ELIZABETH turns off the light. She goes down the stairs. Ten The study A serious work-space that is never used. JOAN on the phone. ELIZABETH hiding by the door, on a phone too. JOAN: This is not an appropriate forum to discuss any matters to do with my daughter. ELIZABETH: (Putting on a voice.) Oh yes? JOAN: Yes. I had to let her know what I thought. ELIZABETH: Oh yes of course. JOAN: Can you imagine? Just coming up to me on the street in the broad daylight to talk about my family. Being put on the spot. Manners now. Honestly. The way some people conduct themselves. Do you get my point? About civility.

19 ELIZABETH: What if we kidnapped her? Brought her somewhere. Slapped some sense into her. JOAN: Just the two of us? ELIZABETH: Two is better. Two wont raise any alarm. We hire a car, us two, ask her to get in. JOAN: She would because she knows me. ELIZABETH: Then we bring her back to your house. JOAN: My husband / might be home. ELIZABETH: Ill distract him. Im new, he wont know me. Thatll be a start. JOAN: Talk about your work. ELIZABETH: I dont work. JOAN: You dont. Talk about your family. ELIZABETH: Yes Ill talk about my little boys. Ill show him the pictures. JOAN: He loves a good picture. ELIZABETH: Ive got a good picture for every child. JOAN: And then Ill take her downstairs and tie her up. And when youre done, youll come down too and well set to work on her. ELIZABETH: Well teach her a lesson. JOAN: Do you ever wonder if our phones might be monitored? ELIZABETH: What makes you say that? JOAN: I thought I saw it in a film one day. ELIZABETH: I see what you mean. JOAN: So? ELIZABETH: Turn around. JOAN: (Turns.) Elizabeth. You were ELIZABETH: I was here the whole time. JOAN: Elizabeth! ELIZABETH: Youre / surprised. JOAN: You shouldnt hide like that. ELIZABETH: Can I play on the phone? JOAN: Just hold it very close to your ear. ELIZABETH: (Picking up the phone.) Hello. JOAN: (Putting on a voice.) Hello. ELIZABETH: This is Frank JOAN: No this is Frank ELIZABETH: This is Joan JOAN: Joan its Frank ELIZABETH: Yes Frank JOAN: We need to talk ELIZABETH: We are talking

20 JOAN: We need to talk man to man ELIZABETH: Thats exactly how were talking. JOAN: (Dropping out of character.) Deeper voice. ELIZABETH: (Deeper.) Lets talk. JOAN: I got to hand it to you ELIZABETH: Hand it then JOAN: Its high time we gave you a promotion ELIZABETH: Ill be damned well damned JOAN: Its Elizabeth now. ELIZABETH: Get off the phone dear JOAN: Get her off the phone ELIZABETH: Frank / Im trying my best. JOAN: I told you dont put her on the phone Joan. ELIZABETH: Please Im / trying. JOAN: Do you want to jeopardise this? ELIZABETH: Dont yell at me Frank JOAN: This is Joan. ELIZABETH: This is Frank. You didnt hear anything. JOAN: Its Elizabeth. ELIZABETH: You didnt hear a thing Elizabeth. Now go back to bed. JOAN: Im not tired. ELIZABETH: Frank, for Gods sake Frank do something about your daughter. JOAN: Youre the one who soothes wounds. I roll up sleeves... ELIZABETH: Well thats tidy isnt it? JOAN: Isnt it Elizabeth? ELIZABETH: Yes, Ma. JOAN: Put the phone down. ELIZABETH: Ok. JOAN: Now please just sit still for a little while. ELIZABETH: What are you going to do? JOAN: Rest my pretty head. ELIZABETH: Up in the attic? JOAN: Yes. ELIZABETH: It might be dusty up there Ma. JOAN: Oh well. The price you pay for privacy. ELIZABETH: Im sorry. You dont have to run away from me. JOAN: I told you to put that phone down. ELIZABETH: What about the girl? The one who was speaking about us.

21 JOAN: Shes dead. Gutted up and kicked into a grave. And no-one is looking for her anymore. Theyre on the search for someone new, someone with blonde hair and an Alice headband and a straw and a kids meal deal. JOAN lies down on the desk. ELIZABETH: Ma? JOAN: For Gods sake Elizabeth, cant a woman rest? There is rumbling from underneath. The table shakes. JOAN sits up, wobbly. JOAN: Dont just stand there. ELIZABETH grabs onto the table. JOAN: Dont let go of that table leg. And you stay right there where I can see you. ELIZABETH: Its shaking. Im finding it hard / to hold on. JOAN: Are you shaking it? ELIZABETH: No. JOAN: Then who is it? I dont see anyone else in this room. ELIZABETH: Have you looked everywhere? JOAN: Yes I have. ELIZABETH: Under the table? JOAN: Is there someone under there? ELIZABETH: No. No. The table shakes, throbs. ELIZABETH is grasping, gripping. JOAN watches. After a moment, the rumbling stops. ELIZABETH: Its Frank. JOAN: Frank? ELIZABETH: Over the phone I say. JOAN: That Frank. ELIZABETH: This is Frank. Eleven In the cellar

22 Deep in the bowels, behind the secret doors. An altar, still warm. The remnants of a sacrifice. Like debris from the aftermath of a party. Yet another birthday party. ELIZABETH cleaning up with a mop. JOAN trying to stuff a body (which looks a lot like FRANK) into a box. ELIZABETH: Whats the Doctor going to say when he comes by? Im not going to break the news to him. No. Im not. I cant help. Its... Youre going to tell him. JOAN: Ok. ELIZABETH: What will you say? JOAN: Say Frank slipped. Yes there was, and there was...water. He slipped. ELIZABETH: That makes me look I did it. I yes...I mopped the...this...the floors. You need to tell the Doctor, you say you went into Franks bunker. You stuffed his mouth, his mouth with mushrooms. And his face did this... this...bulged like this. He couldnt breathe. Little Frank. There, stuffed like a chicken. JOAN: (Hears something.) Someones knocking. ELIZABETH: Might be the police. JOAN: No! ELIZABETH: What do you think will happen? You cant stuff a mans mouth like a...glove, a glove, and not go have the police...they find out things. JOAN: I dont want to go with them! Beat. ELIZABETH: Time to answer the door. ELIZABETH goes. She is not happy at all. JOAN: Frank? Let me see your mouth. JOAN pulls the FRANK lookalike out of the box. She checks his mouth. JOAN: You stupid dolt. Who am I going to play with after dark? The FRANK lookalike stirs but then drops back down again. JOAN is shocked.

23 ELIZABETH comes back in. ELIZABETH: There wasnt anyone there...Joan. Joan. ELIZABETH sees. ELIZABETH: You did that... took him out of the box. Whyd you do that? JOAN: Just to do this...to check. His thing...his mouth. ELIZABETH: You idiot. Put him back. JOAN stuffs the FRANK lookalike back into the box. But she is worried. JOAN: Are you going to call the police? ELIZABETH: Yes. As soon as the Doctor gets here. I am planning...do this...do it in front of him. JOAN: Cant we do it before? ELIZABETH: No. We cant. He needs to see we mean business. JOAN: But what if Frank does that...wakes up before the Doctor comes? ELIZABETH: Then you crack his neck and put him back into the box. JOAN: I thought he was your favourite. ELIZABETH is upset. ELIZABETH: Youd thought hed just have me and leave me be. Instead hes well...hes here every day for tea. Asking for apple spice cake. Telling me stories about these things...whats happening on the road...yes outside that window, the windows over there. Thats all...Its very well hes got time to visit neighbours, the street folk. But to do this thing...flaunt it in my...this...what do you call it? JOAN: Face. ELIZABETH: My face. JOAN and ELIZABETH prepare for the DOCTORs arrival. From off in the distance... DOCTOR: Hello. The DOCTOR enters. He is quite stupid. And he looks a lot like FRANK too. ELIZABETH: Hello. Youre here.

24 DOCTOR: Yes Im here. ELIZABETH: Right on time. DOCTOR: Yes I have arrived on time. ELIZABETH: Whats that you wearing? A cocktail suit. DOCTOR: Yes I am wearing a cocktail suit. ELIZABETH: Stop echoing me. DOCTOR: Sorry. ELIZABETH: Joan has... something to tell you. DOCTOR: What is it? JOAN: Why you dressed up like that? DOCTOR: Why am I dressed up like this? JOAN: Yes. Its a handsome suit. DOCTOR: It is a handsome suit. JOAN: Why you wearing it? ELIZABETH: Hes got a date I bet. DOCTOR: Oh I dont. ELIZABETH: Tell him your news Joan. DOCTOR: Yes, tell me please. JOAN: Its Frank. DOCTOR: Where is he? JOAN: In the box. DOCTOR: Why in the box? JOAN: I stuffed his mouth with mushrooms. DOCTOR: Why did you do that? JOAN: Because I hate him so much. I hate how he goes for walks outside, along the...that....the road and when he comes home, he smells like dirt and grass. DOCTOR: What do you mean? ELIZABETH: We hate him Doctor. We stuffed his mouth with mushrooms. We stuck him in the box. The DOCTOR goes over to the box. He delicately pulls the FRANK lookalike out of the box. DOCTOR: Hello Frank? Its your Doctor. See my suit? I wore it for you. Not for a date. See it? ELIZABETH: Hes dead you stupid man. DOCTOR: Dead? ELIZABETH: Yes. And Im going to ask that you call the police so theyll take Joan away. DOCTOR: Oh. Ok.

25 ELIZABETH: Thats all you say? DOCTOR: Yes. But the FRANK lookalike stirs. DOCTOR: Frank? And again, he stirs. ELIZABETH: Frank? FRANK: Joan. DOCTOR: He called me Joan! He thinks Im Joan! ELIZABETH: Dont be stupid. Hes dead. DOCTOR: He talked. JOAN: He was talking to me. DOCTOR: But he looked at me. ELIZABETH: Frank? FRANK: Hello. The FRANK lookalike hugs the DOCTOR. DOCTOR: You all must be playing a joke on me! But you had me! I almost believed you. And you, Frank, youre a very convincing actor. Youre very talented. And what a show you performed. Beat. ELIZABETH: Very well. Dad. Let the Doctor get up. Hes dressed up for a date. DOCTOR: Im not. ELIZABETH: Of course youre off somewhere glamorous. Off you go. And let me stay here with my parents. DOCTOR: I want to stay. I received a phone call to come. And wear my best suit. ELIZABETH approaches the DOCTOR. She goes up close. She whispers. No-one can hear. Its just her and the DOCTOR. ELIZABETH: Listen, I have to say. I just have to get it out. You should know about me before you decide if you want to stay. I slipped on a mandarin peel in that corner when I was a little girl. And I went flying. Like I was on rollerskates and the ground was covered in pig-grease. I flew

26 for a few hours and when I landed I was in the hospital. I had two broken hips. Thats both my hips. And I was carrying on. I wasnt making any sense. I think I hit someone. And ever since then I havent been the best company. Im not very good at...Im just not so good at most things. Like you must be good at a few things. Surgical procedures. Yes, I hit my mother. Yes, I hit my father. I had hit my father. I had hit him very hard. Again. And again. Oh he wasnt crying though. He was just staring at me, holding his head in one hand. He was so displeased. I dont think he believed that my hips were broken. You dont know what its like. To have someone look after you when all theyd like to do is break your hips! But its not as bad as it seems. Im sure you like him. Hes very good at talking with other men. He has a way of standing that makes you want to listen to him. And its been very hard for my mother, to raise a family when all her children died so young. My mother hasnt had a very easy life. Shes said shes always felt she was 45 and when shes 45 shes sure shell die. So I have to remember that. So I shouldnt have ever hit her at all. Hit him at all. Even if I didnt mean to make their heads swell the way they did I should have just kept my hands open instead of making angry fists with them. DOCTOR: I think youre good. I think youre just good all over. ELIZABETH: You do? DOCTOR: Yes. The DOCTOR looks at ELIZABETH. She does a little twirl but becomes so embarrassed, as if shes made a mistake in front of someone very important. She shrinks. ELIZABETH: No stop. DOCTOR: No let me stay. ELIZABETH moves away from the DOCTOR. She goes away to the corner of the cellar. She sits by herself. JOAN: (To the DOCTOR.) Its best you went home. Im not even sure how you got in the door without tearing a thing. Its a mystery. We try. And we get shredded. All the things we have worn are just shredded. Still, we try. The DOCTOR leaves...but he stops, and then he is just FRANK and the lookalike is just a dummy. JOAN and the FRANK sit amongst the boxes.

27 ELIZABETH is watches her parents like a hawk. She is a hawk. She spreads her wings and squawks a little. She roosts. She lets one wing fold into a triangle and she nestles into the feathers. She lays an egg. And then another. She is feeble as she tries to keep them warm. She feels awkward with her hooked beak and the talons on her feet. She wants to cry but shes a hawk in the background. And the people in the boxes are preoccupied. Its not so good becoming a hawk. JOAN: Yes. Inside the boxes. Up the back is where I keep them. And when I turn 45 I want you to open up all the boxes and let the slugs out. They might frighten Elizabeth but keep them calm. The slugs will grow shells and legs. And theyll eat away the cardboard and shit out grass. And the grass will be thick under their little ladies feet. Twelve In the parlour ELIZABETH and JOAN in their Sunday best. FRANK on the piano. FRANK: Oh darling cant you see. What a fool youve made of me. Im a fool yes, reborn. And Im singing through the storm. Oh darling why cant you see. What youve done to me? Im a mess and Im raw. And Im dancing through it all, on these knees. Yes darling and its true. All the things I said to you. The tears that streak these cheeks. Oh itll be the end of me. Oh itll be the end of me. Youll be the end of me. Lets keep this thing alive. And I say this as I look into your eyes. Oh darling youll be the end of me. JOAN/ELIZABETH: Oh darling youll be the end of me. Thirteen The bedroom

28

JOAN and ELIZABETH in bed. The sound of someone approaching. Then its just FRANK. FRANK from under the bed, his bare limbs sticking out. Hes rasping like an old man. FRANK: Joan? I...need your help to pull me out. Im stuck. JOAN: For goodness sake, Frank. FRANK: Please. Please I fixed the pipes today. There was water everywhere. Im tired. Im stuck too. JOAN: You said that. JOAN climbs off the bed. She stands, somewhat wobbly. JOAN: Look at you. The only person with weaker limbs than me is you. And you grow more helpless each moment, Frank. I dont know whether to feel pity or fear. FRANK: Please, give your hand Joan. JOAN kneels and grabs FRANKs hands to pull him out. She tugs him again... And again... And this time she pulls him free. They stand, weaker, beside the bed, short of breath. JOAN puffs. FRANK drips wet, in his under-clothes. JOAN: Youre soaked, Frank. FRANK: Yes, I fixed the pipes like I said. JOAN: Ill get you a towel then. You mustnt exert yourself further. JOAN, limbs sore, hobbles to the drawer to fetch a towel. FRANK gets up, sore too, and sits down on the bed, exhausted. ELIZABETH comes to FRANK. She climbs into his lap. She folds into him. ELIZABETH: I missed you, Pa. FRANK: I missed you too, Elizabeth.

29 ELIZABETH: Youre warm, even though youre wet. Ma didnt mention that. She just said you were soaked. FRANK: Yes, Im soaked. ELIZABETH: Close your eyes, Pa. Let me tell you a story. It will help you sleep. ELIZABETH begins to stroke FRANKs hair. She whispers into FRANKs ear. He sobs. JOAN returns with a firmer gait. She has gotten a towel and a blanket. JOAN: Its late Elizabeth. Youve got a busy day tomorrow. Youre looking sleepy. ELIZABETH: I am sleepy, Ma. JOAN: So back to your cot now, Elizabeth. We need to rest too. ELIZABETH hops off the bed. She hobbles to JOAN for the blanket. FRANK: Are you trying to mock your mother? ELIZABETH: No, Pa. Its my ankle. Its sore. Beat. JOAN: (To ELIZABETH.) I got you an extra blanket. You shouldnt be cold. ELIZABETH: Thank-you, Ma. ELIZABETH leaves. JOAN comes to FRANK and begins to undress him out of his wet clothes. FRANK: Thank-you, Joan, my love. JOAN: This is just habit. FRANK: Thank-you nonetheless. JOAN: You shouldnt let her stroke your hair like that. Youve so little left, shell stroke you bald. These clothes stink. FRANK: The water was waist-high. JOAN: Its fetid. Its fetid to end the day wading through pipe-water. JOAN climbs into bed. JOAN and FRANK sit up, apart. Another night.

30 Another anniversary. JOAN rolls over. The end.