CULTURE SHOCK

Culture Shock

CULTURE SHOCK

Rationale
Anyone going to live in a new country will experience a degree of culture shock within a certain period of time after arrival in the new country. Culture shock may be defined as the feeling of being helpless and frustrated in a country where one neither speaks the language nor understands the culture.

Furthermore, culture shock results from a new and totally different way of life and also from the inability to live as independently as one did in the native country.

It may also be the inability to communicate to friends and relatives ones feelings and reactions to living in a new country. If someone has no family or friends in Canada, cultural adjustment may be especially difficult.

Although culture shock can become overwhelming at times, knowing how to cope can make the difference between happiness and depression.

Culture Shock

Objectives
The participants will be able: to define culture shock in general terms; to recognize the feelings associated with its different phases; to become aware of ways to deal effectively with the emotional effects of culture shock.

Culture Shock

REFERENCE NOTES FOR THE FACILITATOR

(This information is for your reference only)

As immigrants to Canada attempt to settle in in their new community and their new country, they meet a variety of circumstances that are untried and different for them. Some of these experiences may be exciting. Others may be confusing, upsetting or frightening. By being aware of the fact that it is normal and common to experience a variety of emotions related to the adjustment to a new society sometimes over the course of years immigrants can be better able to cope with those emotional ups and downs. When people visit or live in another country for the first time, they are often surprised at the differences that exist between their own culture and the culture in the other country. The most common way of comparing two cultures is in terms of their differences not their similarities. These cultural differences do sometimes make people feel uncomfortable, frightened, or even insecure. This is known as Culture shock. Main points:
. It is normal for people moving to a new country to experience cross-cultural stress during their first few months in Canada. . Your first twelve months in Canada will be emotional and full of change. There will be many things to learn. . You will also face many challenges. You will have to learn English/French or improve your language skills. You may need more education or training. You will likely have to take a first job or home that is less than you expected. . The differences between your old life and your new one will be great. . Culture shock is a process and everybody, to various degrees and lengths, will experience it.

Culture Shock

REFERENCE NOTES FOR THE FACILITATOR

(This information is for your reference only)

Other issues that relate to culture shock:

. The loss of family; loneliness. . The fact that one no longer lives among ones own cultural group. Some feel at a loss. . Many immigrants say they did not expect Canada to be SO multicultural. . The urgent need to learn English/French. . The realization that one needs some English/French to find a job. . Some employers require that employees understand rules and regulations and be able to express themselves; Example: It is required that janitors working in schools be able to communicate with staff and students and also be able to call 911 and adequately explain an emergency situation. . The unawareness that learning a second language is a process that may take a long time (from 4 to 10 years). . Some immigrants view Canada as a wealthy country and therefore do not anticipate cultural differences. Some feel that having come from a country where there is/was civil strife or having coped in a war situation will somehow make them adapt more easily in Canada. Research tends to prove otherwise. . A considerable amount of stress is experienced by everyone in the family. It often comes with a loss of pride and status, a loss of the living standard enjoyed at home and the general feeling that the process of adaptation may be too long to bear and/or that coming to Canada was the wrong decision. . Gender roles tend to change as women often enter the job market before men do. Family dynamics are affected and family members experience turmoil. . It often takes 2 to 5 years to fully adapt to life in Canada and sometimes up to 10 years to reach the financial stability that one, as a professional, may have had in her/his country of origin.

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REFERENCE NOTES FOR THE FACILITATOR

(This information is for your reference only)

The 4 stages of culture shock

Stage 1: Euphoria period (fascination period)
Just before or shortly after arriving in Canada you may have high hopes and expectations. This is an exciting time. Everything is so new and intriguing. During this period, some people feel very confident and can deal easily with problems and stress. During this period, immigrants also tend to focus on similarities with their own culture and country.

Stage 2:

Disenchantment (frustration or irritation and hostility)

During the first six months you will have some good experiences and some less enjoyable ones as well. You may feel very happy about the challenges you have overcome or feel very frustrated, confused, disenchanted and depressed about the difficulties you are facing. It is not uncommon to feel very positive one day and very negative the next. During this period, the focus may turn from similarities to differences. You suddenly look at everything with different eyes. Canadians do not seem as friendly as you originally thought. Life is so fast, complex and stressful. There are so many rules and regulations. You miss your family and feel rootless in Canada. It is hard to get up in the morning and go to work or look for work. This time can be very emotional and family problems may, as a result, develop with your partner and children. Symptoms experienced during this period are frustration, irritability, and a feeling of anger; a feeling of indifference and a desire to withdraw from normal activities; loss of appetite and general tiredness (or difficulty in sleeping); a feeling of loneliness for your country and loved ones; a feeling of guilt about leaving family members behind.

Stage 3:

Gradual adjustment (or recovery)

As you acquire better language skills, a better understanding of Canada, Canadians, the work ethic, the values and as you gradually get involved in the community and in your own particular community, you start feeling in better control of your life. Your sense of humour returns. You understand better the process you have to take to adapt to life in Canada. You have a better sense of direction.

Stage 4:

Acceptance (adjustment or acculturation)

You feel more comfortable in your new culture. Perhaps you have made some friends. You get more involved. You understand the new system better and no longer regret having come to Canada. Perhaps you are studying, planning to return to school or working at better jobs. You generally feel content.

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REFERENCE NOTES FOR THE FACILITATOR

(This information is for your reference only)

What culture shock may look like:

A. Successful adaptation:
Fascination ------ Frustration ------ Adjustment ------Integration

______________________________________________________________________

B. Unsuccessful adaptation:
Fascination ------ Frustration ------ Depression/ Destructive behaviour

____________________________________________________________________

Hand-out

Culture Shock

REFERENCE NOTES FOR THE FACILITATOR

(This information is for your reference only)

Learning how to adapt/adjust to a new culture

. Dont be too hard on yourself. Culture shock is a real process that is normal for every person living in a new culture (regardless of age, gender, or race); . Understand that experiencing culture shock means that you are aware of cultural differences and that you are beginning the process of adjusting to your new cultural environment; . Understanding and appreciating cultural differences can help people avoid misunderstandings, develop friendships more easily, and feel more comfortable; . Avoid quick judgments; try to understand people in another culture from their own point of view; . Dont think of your cultural habits as right and other peoples as wrong; . Remember that adjusting to a new culture takes time; . Exercising regularly and getting enough sleep help to keep your energy levels high; . Become more aware of what goes on around you, and why; . Be willing to try new things and to have new experiences; . Stay in touch with friends and family to avoid feeling isolated; . Involve yourself in the community as a volunteer this is a good way to meet people and to practice your English/French; . Enroll in an English or French language class; . Explore a subject that interests you (music, dance, art, learning a language, etc.); . Instead of thinking of things as problems (which can be negative and depressing), try to think of them as challenges (which can be positive and fun); . Think about your own culture and how it also influences your attitudes and actions;

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Hand-out (contd)

. Recognize the need to grieve losses. (This may provide reassurance to those who are experiencing emotional distress); . Assess the help that can be provided by Canadian settlement agencies.

Note: This list can be adapted to suit the specific needs of your participants.

Culture Shock

Definition of culture shock: Culture shock can be defined as the feeling of being helpless and frustrated in a country where one, to various degrees, does not speak the language nor understand the culture. Culture shock results from a new and different way of life and also the inability to live as independently as one did in the native country.

Suggested activity # 1:

group discussion

Understanding the feelings associated with culture shock

. Facilitator explains what is culture shock in general terms. . Facilitator asks participants whether they think they will experience such feelings. Why so? Why not? . Facilitator mentions that everyone in this group, to various degrees, will experience culture shock. . Facilitator then explains that together they are going to do a little experiment to try to feel and experience culture shock.

Facilitator asks participants to write their full name on a piece of paper.

. Facilitator asks how they feel about doing this? Some will say that it is easy. So easy that one does not have to think, concentrate or put any effort into it. Writing ones name is one of the first things we learn at home and at school. It is so natural that one could do it with her/his eyes closed. Some may wonder why you are asking them to do this.

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Facilitator then asks participants to write their full names over again, but this time with their other hand.
. Facilitator asks how they feel about doing this?

Some may be laughing. Some may be reluctant to do it. Some will say it is difficult or too difficult. Some will say that they are not used to writing with their other hand. Some will say that they never used their other hand before. Some may say that it takes too long to write with the other hand. Some may say that they feel silly and awkward. Some may say that the writing does not reflect the image they have of themselves; that it looks as if it has been written by a person without education, without pride, etc. Most will say that it is not a habit to write with the other hand.

Facilitator explains how this task relates to culture shock:

. The feeling of having to re-learn certain things that one may take for granted in his/her culture such as shopping, using public transportation, using public telephones, or understanding public signs; . The awkwardness in doing simple tasks that require more effort, are below ones ability and the status that one had in his/her country; . How simple tasks may take longer to accomplish; . How one may feel like a child having to learn basic things; . How ones pride may be affected: the difficulty, for instance, in adjusting to the evolving and changing roles assumed by family members in the new country.

Facilitator explains, in a figurative sense, that just like writing with the left hand, culture shock is a process. It is a temporary feeling of inadequacy and frustration. It is a feeling that will evolve according to different factors inherent to Canadian society in general:
. The degree of difference with their own culture, climate, etc.; . The political and economic situation in Canada (which is always evolving as a result of provincial and federal election outcomes, job-creation programs or the reduction of existing services, rate of unemployment, general social climate, etc.)

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Similar to writing with their other hand, participants need to take the attitude that it is a process; something one can work at so as to reach a degree where one feels comfortable. If participants practice writing with their other hand every day, chances are that they will slowly feel more comfortable using it.

Suggested activity # 2:

interactive presentation

Refugees may or may not experience culture shock in the same way as other categories of immigrants. Most do not come to Canada by choice. Most do not have any established networks of friends and relatives in Canada. Most would rather live in their homeland. Most arrive having already experienced some kind of culture shock through civil strife and various individual traumas. The euphoria period or fascination stage may, for instance, be absent or reduced to a minimum. In planning this presentation, the facilitator needs to consider the individual experiences of the participants, the families they left behind, the length of time refugees have spent in a camp or in a country of asylum, the degree of differences and similarities this country has with Canada, and whether they are accompanied by other family members.

The process of settlement involves many elements which relate to the refugees themselves. These include: their family situation, their age and gender, their level of education, their socio-economic background, their relationship to the structure of conflict in the society of origin, their migration history, their ethnic, religious or political characteristics, their image and expectations of the reception society.

An Agenda for Reception and Settlement (June 1996) by Danile Joly, University of Warwick (U.K.), Centre for Research in Ethnic Relations.

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Variation: . Facilitator distributes a blank piece of paper to the refugees attending the orientation. . Facilitator instructs everyone to draw an individual time line and label it with their own events and emotions since leaving their homeland. . When they have completed their graphs, ask them to share their stories with another participant. Have a few participants share their time lines with the entire class, explaining why they felt the way they did at each point and how they handled their situations. . Facilitator asks participants how they helped themselves feel better? . Facilitator explains that it is normal to have a range of emotions, both positive and negative, wherever a person is.

Questions: . Do you think that you might have emotional ups and downs in Canada? . What might cause you to feel happy? Sad? Scared? Frustrated? . What might you be able to do to help yourself feel better? Variation: . Along with the participants, create a story line.

Creating a time line:

. Draw a box with a horizontal line through it (a time line); . Put a plus

above the line and a minus

below it;

. Identify the time span and the subject; . Participants identify experiences or events as being negative or positive and record them, with dates, on the time line. . In a follow-up activity, participants discuss emotions attached to these events and experiences. . Participants compare and contrast their history with others. Variation:

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Understanding culture shock through a time-line as you discuss the general process with participants.

This is a time-line; at the beginning of the line is you.

People in _______________,as well as in Canada, experience good days and bad days. We usually call them ups and downs.

Psychologists however explain that this process changes once one goes from one country to another, one culture to another. It is one where feelings and expectations may sometimes be greater than reality and, as a result, affect your experience in Canada.

Draw information from participants: . How long has it been since you first applied to emigrate to Canada? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 years or more?

. How did you feel when you received notice that you were accepted as an immigrant to Canada? Happy? Very happy? A little sad at the thought that you were about to leave everything and everyone behind? Worried?

. Do you have a sponsor? Is someone waiting for you in Canada? Perhaps a fianc, a husband, or other family members you havent seen for several years. How do you feel about seeing them again?

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. Perhaps you are a refugee and have experienced many losses already. The thought of going to a peaceful country like Canada is a reassuring thought.

. Perhaps you are an Independent immigrant. You are going to Canada with your immediate family and there is nobody waiting for you on the other side. You have been told that there are many opportunities for success in Canada.

. It is time to leave for Canada. How do you feel? What is ahead for you in Canada? Some may say: A new life, a new future, a second chance. Others may say: A better life, a better future, a better chance to succeed in life. A good job. A car. A good education for my children. A peaceful life.

. Now you have reached Canada. Everything around you is so different. You didnt expect the city you live in to have so many different people. Canadians are all so different from each other. It is like the whole world in one country. The climate is different; the way people dress; the way apartments/houses are designed and furnished; the electrical appliances people use on a daily basis; the transportation system; the shopping malls and grocery stores; the phone; the variety of channels and programs on television; etc. Everything is so different, intriguing and exciting.

This is the euphoria or fascination period.

. After a few weeks, you start looking and noting differences between Canada and your country of origin. During the first six months in Canada, you will have some good experiences and others not so enjoyable. The pace of life is different to the one in your native country. It is difficult to get used to the climate and the fact that Canadians spend so much time indoors. Perhaps your sponsor is not the way you remembered him/her. Perhaps your sponsor wants you to get a job right away and
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not be dependent on his/her own family. Perhaps your sponsor wants you to find your own place to live. Perhaps you have come to Canada on your own and never expected that it would be so difficult to find a decent job in your field of work. Now you are considering getting any job. Finding a job is not so easy. You know that the national level of unemployment in Canada is around 10%. You have seen beggars on the streets and you know now that the streets in Canada are not paved with gold. You understand that there are many people looking for work just like you. Some are Canadians who were born here and speak English and/or French. . You have met some employers but too often they require Canadian experience and a level of English/French that you dont have yet. How could you? You have just arrived here! You may not have brought with you letters of reference and proof of past employment in your native country. You may not have translated your certificates and diplomas into English/French. . Adapting to Canada is simply not as easy as you first thought or as you had been told by friends, relatives living in Canada or by immigration consultants in your native country.

This is what psychologists refer to as the disenchantment phase.

How do you feel?

Frustrated? Irritated? The feeling that you have perhaps made a mistake in coming to Canada? Some say I wish I had been told before I came to Canada. Perhaps I would have come anyway but I would have prepared myself better.

If so, how could one prepare better?

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How can one tell when a person is depressed? (especially for immigrants coming
from cultures where mental illness is considered taboo or an illness that does not require treatment; for newcomers whose languages may not have a word for stress and for newcomers who cannot bring themselves to open up and talk about their feelings to specialists or even to people from the same cultural background).

Possible answers from participants: . feeling homesick . longing for their old life . feeling tired all the time . loss of sleep or only wanting to sleep . loss of appetite . not wanting to go out/ isolation from other people

Do you remember ever experiencing such feelings?

Possible answers from participants: . the death of someone dear . the departure of a friend, a separation, a divorce . going for military service . moving from one place to another . a war situation . going away from parents

What would you suggest to a friend who was depressed? How do you yourself deal with stress?
. Sometimes, at this disenchantment stage, people feel depressed, and gradually more tired. Some feel that there is too much to learn to feel comfortable in the new culture. Some start to feel homesick for the life they had before, the family they left behind, the status they had before, the financial stability they enjoyed at home. Some feel guilty and responsible for bringing this turmoil into their families. . Then, gradually, they settle into a new routine and a new pace. They start getting to know their way around and slowly feel more comfortable in Canada.
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This is the gradual adjustment period.

. They know that they are here to stay. They start enjoying the present more. The children are settled into school and are getting better and better in English/French. With better skills in English/French, they understand Canada a bit better. They still do not work in their field of experience but have since reassessed their skills. . Perhaps they had to lower their initial expectations of Canada. They now work in something related or vaguely related to what they used to do in their native country. . Everything is still a struggle but they have an increasing feeling of control over their own lives. They have a better sense of direction. . They are continuing their language studies at night as they understand better the urgency to learn English/French. They are starting to develop friendships outside their ethnic group.

This is the acceptance period; the acceptance of a new culture and environment. Everyday life is experienced in a meaningful way.

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Suggested activity # 3:

small-group activity

Participants write down, in point form:

1. What are realistic expectations? 2. Which ones should immigrants to Canada have? 3. Do you think that having realistic expectations will ease the culture shock you will experience in Canada? 4. Suggest ways to overcome the difficulties relating to culture shock.

. Suggested ways are listed on the board and discussed with the group.

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Suggested activity # 4:

case studies

Explain that the two case studies relate the experiences of two immigrants to Canada, and how each of them dealt with culture shock.

Case study # 1:
____________________ is an older man who went to Canada with his family. They settled in Toronto.

Case study # 2:
____________________ is a young woman who went to Canada to join her family in Montral.

Facilitator introduces a graph where the fictional characters feelings will be charted as the story of each of them is presented to the participants.

Life in your country

Just before leaving

Arrival in Canada

Life in Canada of origin

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Hand-out

Case Study # 1
. __________ wanted desperately to start a new life for himself and his family. He thought that Canada was a rich country that could provide him with endless employment and financial opportunities. He thought that streets there were paved with gold. Before going, all he could think about was how wonderful his future was going to be. You can imagine how excited he was when he arrived at the airport. Pearson International airport in Toronto is huge, shiny and beautiful. Canada was going to be his home. . But he had some trouble with the immigration officials. He couldnt understand them and felt they were rude. They even looked him in the eye. . When he and his family met their sponsor, they were taken to their home, which was much smaller and less luxurious than the one he had imagined. When he and his family moved into their own place, he was sure that it would be bigger and nicer than his sponsors house. The first few days were hard; his sponsor was at work all day and he and his family were left at home to wait for his return. They didnt dare go outside. They didnt speak English/French and the weather was very cold. . __________ and his wife __________ decided to begin looking for a job. After some time, his wife found one as a dishwasher, but __________ didnt have much luck. He started getting frustrated. This was not only because of his unfulfilled expectations, but also because of having to cope with all of the changes in his life. Note to the facilitator: Ask participants to write the following sentence with their left hand (if they are right handed): I feel frustrated when I have to learn new ways of doing things Ask participants how they felt. Point out that resettling in a new country is like learning to do many things again: new language, new culture, different climate, new friends, new job, etc. When these things accumulate, newcomers experience culture shock. . __________s sponsor also asked him to move out because it was too crowded in the house. The sponsor suggested a place with Metro Housing. __________ and his family found a small apartment in a run down and poor neighbourhood. His job search continued, but to no avail. The family started having financial problems. __________ started to feel depressed and also began having headaches, stomach aches and difficulty sleeping. . How could his expectations of Canada be so different from this reality?

Hand-out

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Case study # 2
. __________ had also been waiting a long time for her departure to Canada. She was going to join her husband in Montral. While she waited for her visa, she attended a pre-departure orientation session. There she learned many things about Canada and came to the realization that although Canada was a good country, it wasnt paradise and that she would have many challenges ahead of her. . Before leaving, she was happy but also sad. She knew that she was leaving many good things behind in her native country: her family, her friends, living in her culture and all that she was so familiar with. . She arrived at Dorval airport in Montral and her husband was there to meet her. She then went to her new home: a simple but nice apartment near downtown. Her husband told her that she didnt need to worry about anything and that he would take care of things. She only had to take care of things at home. She did as he suggested but she gradually started feeling bored and lonely. The loneliness was unbearable. Unlike in her native country, people didnt just drop in to say hello and have some tea. In fact, very few people in her building greeted each other, and the streets were mostly always deserted. Language was a problem too as she only spoke a few words of French. . She decided to get to know new people by attending a COFI course (a language and cultural orientation course for newcomers to the province of Qubec) at the community centre near where she lived. Her husband didnt see the point in this at first, but she explained how lonely she felt, and how frustrating it was to try to do anything independently. She also felt that she couldnt understand her new country if she couldnt speak the language. She therefore attended COFI classes where she met new people, including women from her native country. She also met a young woman who had attended the same pre-departure orientation session that she had attended. . She gradually learned more French and understood more and more of the culture. She became aware of centres and services offered in her community. She learned that there were art classes being offered in the same centre where she was taking her French class. She registered in a class offered twice a week. In her native country, she had loved drawing and she felt that this was the perfect opportunity to continue her hobby. . Though she sometimes terribly missed her home, family and friends and was at times frustrated by all of the new things she had to adapt to, she was beginning to feel happier. She could see a future for herself in Canada. She could see that she would eventually feel at home in Canada, like every other Canadian.

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The presentation of the two case studies can be followed with an open-ended discussion: . Which story would you rather have? . What do you think were the differences between the two cases?

Possible answers: . Expectations (case # 2 had more realistic expectations of Canada) . Ways of dealing with difficulties (case # 2 dealt with difficulties more productively and in a more positive way)

What participants need to remember is that:

It is natural to feel culture shock when going to a new country. The length of culture shock will vary from person to person. It may last from 6 months to up to 6 years. Some elderly immigrants never learn to feel comfortable in the new society. Culture shock happens because of the sense of loss at what has been left behind compounded with the difficulties in adapting to a new environment.

Culture shock can be overcome.

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Suggested activity # 5:

feedback from case studies

Tips for successfully dealing with culture shock: Based on the two case studies as well as their own experiences, participants make a list of ways to deal with culture shock. Facilitator completes the list.
1. Knowledge is power:

. Immigrants must learn English and/or French in order to be able to communicate with others, continue their studies, find work, make friends, be a member of a community, read labels, become independent, understand, learn from others, etc. Participants may wish to add to this list. . Participants should be encouraged to pursue or further their education. Education is a life-long activity in Canada. Age in Canada doesnt limit people to a certain level. Although a better education may not guarantee that they will find work, it will certainly improve their chances.

2. Openness to what is new and different:

. In a multicultural society such as Canada, it is important that immigrants have an open mind about all of the new and different things they will encounter and experience in Canada. . It is important for them to respect others and be open to new ways of doing, seeing and thinking. With such an attitude, there is great potential for personal growth. At the other end of the spectrum, one finds that fear, judgment and discrimination do not contribute to immigrants general well-being as they want to fit into the new society. . At the same time, immigrants need also to have pride and confidence in their own cultural background. It is important that they encourage others to respect their ways in the same way that they respect those of others.

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3. Self-esteem, optimism and hope:

. All three are of equal value. Immigrants need confidence that they do have a place in Canada and that they have something to contribute to their new society. Despite the losses and disappointments they will experience, immigrants need to feel confident about themselves and the future.

4. Do what makes you happy, healthy and strong:

. Immigrants to Canada will face many challenges. Perhaps some of their original dreams may never come true. For example, many think of Canada as a land of endless financial and employment opportunities, when in fact, it is not. This great disappointment needs to be balanced by other areas in their lives where immigrants do gain a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. For instance, maintaining good, close relationships with family and friends can bring people happiness. Other areas where people may derive good health and happiness are: doing regular physical exercise, art, music, sports, volunteer work, involvement in the community, religion, etc.

Suggested activity # 6: video presentation

This is a presentation produced by NEWSWORLD Dayside program. Topic: culture shock. Length: 6:40 minutes
. This is an interview with settlement workers and immigrants discussing culture shock. . Facilitator follows the presentation with a discussion on the participants impressions, comments, concerns and feelings about the presentation.

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Suggested activity # 7:

Letter

Facilitator reads the letter written by someone who knows a person who has gone through culture shock.
. Participants identify the four phases of culture shock.

Variation:

small-group activity

Participants receive a copy of the letter and complete the following tasks: . Circle the symptoms of culture shock described in the letter; . Underline the different phases this newcomer has gone through; . Discuss how this person overcame culture shock.

Letters from people who have themselves experienced culture shock

Different letters relating immigrants experience in Canada may be useful to have on hand. Here is one. You may wish to distribute it to participants before or after the lesson on culture shock. The letter will require translation to the participants target language. It is suggested that participants from each site be encouraged to write back to let you know how they are doing in Canada and how they (and their families) experienced culture shock. This would eventually become a valuable information base from which to make the culture shock experience more country-specific.

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Hand-out

REFERENCE NOTES TO THE FACILITATOR

(This letter may be read aloud, photocopied, translated and distributed as a hand-out to the participants)

Letter from a woman who will soon emigrate to Canada

Monday, May 17th, 1993. Five years ago I received a letter from my best friend who had emigrated to Canada to join her family. During her first six months in Canada, she kept recalling her past life, cried a lot, especially after many hours of hard work at a job she didnt like. Not everything she had hoped for came true. Canada was not the paradise that she had imagined. What a big disillusion she got!

Sometimes she didnt understand what was happening around her. She was grieving her past life in Vietnam and was feeling very unsettled, frustrated and depressed. I think that she was going through culture shock.

When my friend stepped out of the airport in Calgary, she could only speak bad English. She felt as if she had been born yesterday. She was too nave to understand all that was going on around her. Everything was new and strange to her. She often had headaches. Talking on the phone was the hardest thing. She said that Canadians spoke and walked too quickly. Everyone was always in a hurry and busy. Food was awful. Traffic was heavy. She got lost all the time. She never thought that she would herself feel so lost in this new society. In her mind, Canadians didnt seem to care about each other, even though they were neighbours. Everything was so strange and she didnt want to have any part of it. Her happiness and her activities disappeared in Canadas cold air, under its tons of snow and its masses of people. She never thought that she could someday call this country Home.

Like other countries, Canada has different laws, customs, and ways of life as well as discrimination problems. In addition, life in Canada is really a struggle. In order to get money to support her own life, my friend had to work at many jobs. Once she worked in a restaurant but only lasted one day. The work was too hard and she had to stand washing dishes for ten hours a day. Poor her! She could have been a good dentist and have a successful life in Vietnam. She used to be one of the most outstanding students at the university. Getting a lower position, a lower job, she really had a tough time adjusting to Canada.

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Time passed by and I received fewer and fewer letters from my best friend. But three years later, I got a surprise letter from her. I could hardly recognize her through it. It seemed that she had changed to another person. I rarely remember or grieve about my past life. I no longer feel lonely. I felt at home in Canada before I knew it, she wrote. Let the past be past. Now I am thinking about a brighter future: becoming a dentist in a few years. Now life is interesting.

Thanks for all of her letters and her honesty. Without her experience I would not be able to know what culture shock is and how many obstacles I will myself have to face when I put my feet on Canadian land. Now I am sure that every refugee and immigrant that comes to Canada gets culture shock even though they are well educated. But the important thing is knowing how to overcome such a shock.

Learning to feel at home in Canada or in another country takes time. My friend had to spend no less than three years on it. With her experience, I hope it will take me a shorter time to overcome culture shock in Canada. I must try to understand this country. I must make an attempt to change my viewpoint towards this country and its people. Get involved in the community as soon as possible. Feel free to make friends with Canadians. They will help me understand what it means to live in Canada. And the more Canadians I communicate with, the more self-confident I become. To make friends with Canadians, the indispensable condition is speaking English or French. I must try to speak English/French everywhere, no matter how difficult it is for me. Day by day, step by step, I will improve my English/French. Soon, as Canada becomes more familiar to me, the anxiety and fear will cease and I will feel more in control of my life.

In brief, my parents had to sacrifice a lot in leaving our Motherland to hope for a new life and a bright future for our family in Canada. How can I let them down? I must be prepared to face and to overcome all challenges in order to succeed in life in Canada. Self-confidence is the first aim on the road to success. This is one of the English sayings I enjoy best.

Nguyen Kim Phuong LINC Program/ Class III-D4 (1993)

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