Introduction: Definition of Marriage:

Marriage (or wedlock) is a social union or legal contract between people that creates kinship. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but is usually an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged. Such a union, often formalized via a wedding ceremony, may also be called matrimony. Many cultures limit marriage to two persons of the opposite sex, but some allow forms of polygamous marriage, and some recognize same-sex marriage. People marry for many reasons, including one or more of the following: legal, social, libidinal, emotional, economic, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of commitment. The act of marriage usually creates normative or legal obligations between the individuals involved. Some cultures allow the dissolution of marriage through divorce or annulment. About 45% of marriages in Britain and 46% of marriages in the U.S., according to a 2009 study, end in divorce. Arranged Marriage Meaning: An arranged marriage is a practice in which someone other than the couple getting married makes the selection of the persons to be wed, meanwhile curtailing or avoiding the process of courtship. Such marriages had deep roots in royal and aristocratic families around the world. Today, arranged marriage is largely practiced in South Asia (India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka),[1] Africa, the Middle East, and Southeast Asia and East Asia to some extent. Other groups that practice this custom include the Unification Church and Hasidic Judaism. It should not be confused with the practice of forced marriage, in which one person forces another to marry him or her. Arranged marriages are usually seen in Indian, traditional European and African cultures, especially among royalty, and are usually decided by the parents or an older family member. The match could be selected by parents, a matchmaking agent, matrimonial site, or a trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking.

What are Arranged Marriages?

Arranged marriages are marriages which are negotiated primarily by the parents of the couple, rather than the couple themselves. For centuries, arranged marriage was the only way to marry in most cultures, and it was believed to ensure stronger, happier marriages which also took the form of economic, social, and political alliances. Although most Western countries frown upon arranged marriages because they believe these marriages restrict personal freedom, arranged marriages still occur in parts of the Middle East, Asia, and Africa. When asked to think of arranged marriage, most Westerners visualize a forced marriage, in which the couple did not meet beforehand and had no say in the final decision. Forced marriages are outlawed in most countries of the world, because they are believed to be cruel and abusive, and most supporters of arranged marriages do not support forced marriage. A forced marriage can be an unpleasant experience for both parties, especially when they belong to a culture which does not permit divorce. Women, especially, can be victims of forced marriages which cause them to enter a state of virtual slavery. The more modern arranged marriage involves a negotiation between the parents of a bride or groom and the parents of multiple prospective spouses. The parents create a short list of spouses who they think would be good matches for their children, and introduce the children to each spouse individually, sometimes allowing them to have some time alone to talk. Ultimately, the children choose for themselves, although they choose from a list of parentally approved potential partners. However, if either party is not receptive to the idea of a marriage, negotiations are called off. These arranged marriages can result in a strong life-long partnership. Some parents also merely offer introductions and encouragement, but do not take an active role otherwise. Modern supporters of arranged marriage see this as an acceptable compromise between a love marriage, which is made entirely between the potential spouses, and a traditional arranged marriage, in which the parents are heavily involved. An introduction is usually followed by a brief courtship, and if the children are amendable, they may choose to marry. The idea of making arranged marriages for social, political, and economic means is still widespread. Parents may try to match their children with spouses in other countries, where they think their children have a better chance of success, or may try to marry into a more wealthy family. However, the goal of happiness is also said to be an important part of arranged marriages. In cultures where arranged marriage is still practiced, parents regard marriage as a sacred duty, and want to ensure that their children are provided for. They strive to make matches which please their children, and some couples in arranged marriages have said that while their partnership did not start out with love, the spouses grew affection for each other and form a committed team.

Many supporters of arranged marriages say that the divorce rate is lower for these types of marriages, and use this as evidence to support the practice. However, divorce is not encouraged in many nations where arranged marriage is practiced, and the couple may also be afraid to divorce because of social pressure. Although arranged marriages may be happier than traditional marriages, unhappy and abused spouses can exist anywhere. If a clear freedom of choice exists for both members of the potential couple, many think that the marriage will have a better chance of success.

Arranged marriage- the advantages: Arranged marriages can be a very happy time in someone's life- and for the rest of it.There are a number of considerable benefits, each of them important to leading a stable, good life. A few of the benefits correlating to arranged marriages are, if the right suitor is chosen:
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financial security. Families/matchmakers try and choose suitors who are secure and well-off in finances, which ensures that money will be something that is always able to be gained in the case of an emergency or other such events. cultural and/or religious understanding. Many times, the arranged spouses descend somewhat from the same type of culture, or share the same religion. This ensures that the spouses understand one another's lifestyles, and it gives common ground and belonging to the betrothed. In some cases, this preserves the cultural and religious identity of the persons and allows them to express it as they wish. avoidance of pre-marriage relationships/courtship. In some cases, people are very averse to the often awkward and time-consuming tango of dating and courtship. Arranged marriages often eliminate the years many waste dating multiple persons, and allow persons to find a good spouse without the need to do so. encouragement of abstinence. As is common in american culture, many indulge in relationships in which there is fornication before marriage, or without the intent of marriage at all. Arranged marriages encourage abstinence, eliminating the possibility of later guilt and remorse from previous 'relations'. This sets a good example for other family members and children, and may lower one's chances of contracting veneral disease. incompatibiliy is greatly lowered. Because of the many factors that go into choosing partners for an arranged marriage, compatibility is usually very good with all the areas taken into consideration (education, crime record, family, religion, etc.). Partners are arranged based of the similarities of these areas. The similarity between the two partners ensures that they understand each other, and are able to live comfortably as they have always been accustomed. divorce is more unlikely. Because of the similarities and matchings between the two spouses, divorce is more unlikely to happen due to irreconcilable differences or disputes, as in many arranged marriages they both have the same veiws on marriage and family- and may share the same culture, religion and more. There is then little left

to dispute and differentiate about and the spouses can focus on each other rather than their differences. In many situations, the insight given by the parents/matchmaker on the future spouse and the willing consent of the unwed person to marry a selected partner stregthens the marriage, as all are happy with the choice and the instincts of the parents are good. trust in in-laws. Though in-laws are usually depicted as unlikable, nosy relatives in popular american film, in arranged marriages, in-laws can be very supportive and close to the new relatives. Since the entire family tends to give input on prospective spouses for their family members, once a spouse is found and they wed, both families then become united by the marriage and are then one, for they are both happy and pleased with their new relatives. If not, then the two partners would have never married. There is a saying in arranged marriages, that a woman marries the family, not just the groom. This can be a very good thing, for the newlyweds can then depend on and trust their new families if needed, and there is always help if the spouses are having troubles, for a family member can always step in and help to resolve the problem. This can mean that when going to family parties, there is no awkward silence between in-laws, and everyone is happy to see one another. equality. In matching spouses, some very important factors are generally met equally. Equality/similarity in education, financial situation, and other things is very good. For example, an arranged marriage could be stressed if one spouse earned the gist of the income, as it would pressure the other to earn more or cause them to feel dependent. Education, matched properly, could help so the partners feel equal in intelligence, therefore eliminating a stress or pressure of being 'dumb' or illiterate. Also, both being educated, the spouses are most likely to be equally rational and sensible in raising children or dealing with some issues.

Those were simply a few of the benefits to arranged marriage, and one must hope to acheive some level of these benefits. There are many others,depending on where you reside in and which culture you pertain to. Arranged marriage- the disadvantages: Of course, with every advantage, there is a disadvantage. A few disadvantages do pertain to arranged marriages, and one must be careful to avoid them. Disadvantages may include:
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dependence/inablility to choose a partner. In somes cases, when parents or elders help to choose a partner, it discourages the unwed person to think for themselves and consider whether or not they believe they would be compatible. In the case of this, if after a few years of marriage, if it is going unwell, it is easy for that person to then blame their parents for poor judgement. families too close for comfort. Some arranged marriages, in the case of which spouses are in an argument, it may be uncomfortable or odd for the families to become involved in situations otherwise better solved soley by the partners. Especially for those raised in the west, it may be strange or even stressful for the families to have too much of their

noses in their business, even more so when they express their own views in the situation. love becoming the second most important thing. In arranged marriages, there is a saying, to think with your head and not your heart. Yet, it is important to think with both. Spouses who think only with their head may end up realizing there is no emotional compatibility, and those who think only with their heart may end up realizing they do not have a stable future. Although love may come later, it is important to secure a stable future. Sometimes the spouses are in love at meeting, at marriage, or later. Love sometimes blossoms later and when it does, only stregthens the marriage and make the spouses happier. However, in the case where love does not blossom, help can be sought- and if nothing can be done, then the marriage was not right somehow.

Love Marriage Love is the most wonderful thing ever happened on this earth. It s such a wonderful and unexplainable feeling. I am telling this from this my own experience & people who are in love will also agree with me. Everybody should fall in love. Everybody has the right to fall in love.

Everybody has the right to love & at the same it s their duty to convince their parents. You got to convince your parents. Running away & getting married is the worst thing. Next coming to love @ first sight. I dunno how people fall in love at the first sight. I do not believe this. It must be Lust @ the first sight. You see a beautiful girl. Her external appearance is the first thing that attracts you. Isn t it. You say to yourself Oh!!! What a girl , She is really beautiful . . If there s any other thing please share it. Just seeing a girl/guy how can you decide that she/he is your life partner. For buying a mobile phone or a PC or a laptop or a dress you do so much research. You ask many people for suggestions, ideas, etc. Even if you have bought a wrong item, it can be replaced or repaired. Don t you think the same thing applies while choosing a life partner also? Coming to what is the right age to fall in love. There s no age to fall in love. But before you fall in love you must know what love is. It s not just going to movie, beach, holding hands, etc. It s more than that. It s about affection. It s about understanding. It s about being honest

Advantages, Advantages of Love Marriage Love marriage is a legal right for two individuals who care and love for each other to live together and go ahead with their life. In love marriage, you know each other well, you are not going to be with any stranger or you may not have much problems if you know about the person well before you decide to spend your life together. A love marriage can become unsuccessful, if you had a very short time time know each other and just decided to get married. If you are knowing each other well and you are sure that you can get along with each other without any problems then you can decide to get married. In short the advantage of going for a love marriage is that you are going to live your life with a person who you know well and you are sure that you can get along well. Its not easy to go for a love marriage. You need to first fall in love with someone and that person should like you as well. It takes time to know each other and both of you should feel comfortable with each other. Decide to get married to a person who loves you more than you love that person. In many cases I have seen that one person is badly in love with the other person, but not vise versa. Never force somebody to love you and get married, you should give sufficient time to the other person whom you love to know you more and you should take sufficient time to learn your partner well before you both come to a decision to live together. In my opinion, nobody can be sure that he or she will fall in love with a person and even if he or she falls in love with somebody, that person will fall in love in return. If you don t fall in love or not get a right person, then you can think of arranged marriages. Even in arranged marriages you can know the person well before you decide to get married. You should make sure that your proposed partner likes you as well and is not agreeing for the wedding because of any pressure from her / his parents or any other reasons.

Disadvantages of Love Marriage:

Those who oppose love marriages cite different reasons and think that marriages of these types do not last long. For some couples there is no family support and even their relatives do not approve of their marriage. The biggest disadvantage of love marriage is that the chances of break up are far greater due to the freedom which each partner enjoys.

In the Indian context a love marriage is almost like a disgrace to the family and the boy or the girl live like outcastes. However modern Indian families do approve of their children's love marriage as times have changed. Finally what matters is the personal bonding between the partners and this helps in making the relationships last longer.

Arranged marriages or love marriages, which last longer? Most people envision their future partner in life. Some people have a list of criteria, such as successful, caring, wants children, well-educated, stable, good income, shared values and so forth. These people seek a firm long-term commitment to share their life's journey. When emotions and hormones appear, this list is often set aside in pursuit of the love and objects of desire, not necessarily people who will remain permanent part of lives. Arranged marriages built on strong solid foundations have a greater chance for success because commitments are based on a combination of thought and emotion. A child raised with the expectation of families or chosen representatives arranging future mates, is often raised in a family or social situation where family and community share importance in this same foundation. Their expectations of partners and married life are different from those who simply believe they will fall in love and live happily ever after. A misconception about arranged marriage is that of choice. In an arranged marriage with all the traditional criteria of a good character, a good family, and a good future, people come together with the same expectations, goals and values. While the youthful passionate love may not overwhelm the couple, a love based on mutual respect, acceptance and friendship often emerges. Romantic love is often defined by society as either full of need and expectation. Love with conditions creates an unrealistic expectation, the person loved is the perfect marriage partner. If this love is superficial based on appearances, sexual prowess or material trappings, where is the foundation to keep this love intact? The first wave of discontent or unhappiness triggers the unraveling of romantic love The emotional needs and wants do NOT overwhelm an arranged marriage. In today's world of marriage and "live happily ever after," too many people enter marriages with stars in their eyes. They truly do not have the traditional courtship of the past where families knew each other, and the support system of the community was in place. They do not have a voice of reason to talk them through immature and premature decisions that have long term affects on their lives. As the expression says "marry in haste and regret in leisure." Women without the support of family and community become consumers of magazines, books, programs and movies to define their personal relationships including marriage.

How many women are seeking "the one," partner or soul mate? Well, look around to ads, magazines, articles and the answer is obvious. Prince Charming has a name, soul mate. An arranged marriage isn't seeking a soul mate or Prince Charming. An arranged marriage is seeking partnership and compatibility. For example, a mother seeks a husband for her daughter; she will seek a man who will be acceptable to her daughter and their family. She knows her daughter's preferences, expectations and desires. Her maturity and wisdom will help to balance the to ensure her daughter's emotional and practical success in marriage. Perhaps because expectations are based on different sets of criteria, those in arranged marriages have an advantage over those with love marriages. They know and accept expected roles and responsibilities. They have a future journey filled with steps and goals and realistic expectations. They also know that failure has a greater impact and there is a greater commitment to succeed in this marriage. This marriage is more than just a couple, its also often an extended family and community. Critics may argue a woman has her personal freedom removed because she is unable to marry who ever she pleases. The question to ask is this, would more marriages survive IF a firmer foundation based on shared visions and practical aspects of life, instead of whimsical romantic love? While any marriage can fail, for a million reasons, an arranged marriage provides a head start in the race for marital success.

Interesting facts about Marriage

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The term marriage derives from the Latin word mas meaning male or masculine. The earliest known use of the word in English dates from the thirteenth century Over 75% of people who marry partners from an affair eventually divorce The Oneida colony established in New York in 1848 advocated complex or group marriage in which every woman was married to every man. They also practiced scientific breeding where parents where matched by a committee according to physical and mental health Marrying younger than age 25 dramatically raises the divorce risk. Also, the divorce risk is higher when the woman is much older than the man, though the reverse isn t as a strong factor

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At Italian weddings, it is not unusual for both the bride and groom to break a glass. The number of shards will be equal to the number of happy years the couple will have. The word wife is likely from the Proto-Indo-European root weip ( to turn, twist, wrap ) or ghwibh, which has a root meaning shame or pudenda. The word husband is from the Old Norse husbondi or master of the house (literally, hus house + bondi householder, dweller ).

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Some scholars trace the word bride to the Proto-Indo-European root bru, to cook, brew, make broth. The term groom is from the Old English guma, meaning man. In three states Arkansas, Utah, and Oklahoma women tend to marry younger, at an average age of 24. Men s average age is 26. In the northeastern states of New York, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts, men and women wait about four years longer to marry. The U.S. average age for women is 25.6 and for men, 27.7. o A person s level of education influences the age at which they marry. Couples tend to marry later in states with higher numbers of college-educated adults, while the opposite is true for states with lower education levels. Nevada, Maine, and Oklahoma have the highest percentage of divorced adults. Arkansas and Oklahoma have the highest rates of people who have been married at least three times. The probability of a first marriage ending in a divorce within 5 years is 20%, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49%. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33%, compared with 62% for cohabitations. Hammurabi s Code (ca. 1790 B.C.), an ancient Babylonian law code, contains some of the oldest known and recorded marriage laws. These early laws defined marriage as a contract that paradoxically served to protect women and restrict them. According to the Code, a man could divorce his wife if she could not bear children or of she was a gadabout who humiliated her husband in public and neglected her house. Additionally, she could be pitched in a river if she committed adultery. Washington, D.C., has the lowest marriage rate in the nation. o Approximately $6 billion in revenue is lost by American businesses as a result of decreased worker productivity linked to marriage hardship. Employees in a happy marriage, in contrast, tend to increase a company s bottom line

In the United States, over 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages end in divorce, and nearly 74% of third marriages end in divorce.g Compared to singles, married people accumulate about four times more savings and assets. Those who divorced had assets 77% lower than singles.g Married elderly people are more likely to maintain daily health-promoting habits, such as exercising, not smoking, eating breakfast, and having regular medical check-ups. Married people are twice as likely to go to church as unmarried people Modern Western marriage traditions have long been shaped by Roman, Hebrew, and Germanic cultures as well as by doctrines and traditions of the Medieval Christian church, the Protestant Reformation, and the Industrial Revolution

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Conclusion:

Marriage is a sacred bond between two souls, a relationship in which a male and a female promise to be companions for a life span after tying the nuptial knot. It brings significant stability and security in the relationships of human beings, which is otherwise incomplete. It is not only a union of two human beings but also of two families. Marriage to some extent cannot be successful without the blessings and consent of the members of the family. It doesn't matter whether it is a love marriage or an arranged marriage, the success of this relationship is all that matters.