Thisworkshopwillfocusontheimportanceoftherevisionprocess,some6psonimprovingthe process,andhowtoxcertainpersistentstructuralerrorsthatarecommonlyfoundintheacademic wri6ngofSpanishspeakers. INTHISSECONDSESSIONwellbegintodelveintothepersistentproblemsweregoingtotackleinthis workshop.

Certainstructuralproblemscomeupagainandagaininscien6cpaperswriCenbySpanishspeakers. Inthelastsessionweendedwiththispreviewofthetypesofproblemswelltackleintheremaining sessions.Hopefullybeforecomingtothissessionyoutookthe6metogureoutwhatswrongwith theseexamplesandthinkhowtobestcorrectthem,keepinginmindthattheremaybemul6ple acceptablesolu6ons(andalsothatasalwayssomesolu6onswillbebeCerthanothers,depending onthecontext).

ThesesentencesprobablylookpreCygoodtomostofyou.Andevenifsomethingseemsabito,you probablys6llunderstandthemperfectly.Theproblemis,though,thatforana6veEnglishspeaker thereissomethingwrongwitheverysentence.Insomecasesthemeaningiss6lldis6nguishable despitetheproblem,butinothercasesthereaderislikelytobeveryconfused.Andthenprobably irritated.Neitheroutcomeisverygoodifthatreaderisyourreviewer,supervisor,orproofreader! Sowhatswrongwiththeabovesentences? 1) excessivenouniness;denitear6clemisuse 2) incorrectEnglishpassive;problema6cverbchoice 3) incorrectEnglishpassivestructure/incorrectdummyituse;noncondi6onalif 4) incorrectdummyituse;denitear6clemisuse 5) incorrectexpressionofmanner 6) nouniness;incorrectstructurefollowingprevent(transla6onerror) 7) incorrectstructurefollowingallow(transla6onerror) Theaboveexplana6onsmaynotmakemuchsensetoyouyet,butweregoingtogothroughthese dierentsortsoferrorsinthecomingsessionssoyouwillbeabletoRECOGNIZEthemandthenFIX theminyourworkbeforeyousubmitittoyoursupervisor,proofreader,orreviewer,therebyreducing thelikelihoodthatyourwri6ngwillmakeyourreaderfeelconfusedandpossiblyirritated. Thatsalwaysagoodgoaltohaveasawriter.

Theapproachwearegoingtouseinthisworkshopandtheapproachthatyouwillcon6nuetouse aZerwardsistoteachyoutoNOTICEthatthereisaproblem,ANALYZEwhattheproblemisandthe REWRITEthesentence. ItslikelythatthehardestpartforyouistheNOTICINGpart:whatyouvewriCenmakesperfectsense toyou,thestructurethatmayormaynotbeweirdinEnglishisperfectlyneinSpanishandsosounds verynaturaltoyou,andofcourseyouareprobablyfeelinglotsofpressuretosendoyourpaperright now.Sogobacktothestrategieswetalkedaboutintherstsessionandmakesurethatyouadopt oneormoreofthemrightnowsoyoucangetthroughthiscrucialrststep. ANALYSINGmayormaynotbeachallenge,andmostofyouonceyourealizethatthereisaproblem areusuallypreCygoodatndinganotherwaytoREWRITEthesentence.Soagain,whileallthree arenecessary,no6cingisKEY.

Beforewegointotheexamplesanddiscusssolu6ons,letstakeabrieflookatwhatImeanby nouninessanddenitear6clemisuseandwhytheyareproblems. WhenIsayasentenceistoonounyorhasexcessivenouninesswhatImeanisthatthesentence hastoomanycomplexorabstractnounsinit,andnotenoughverbs.Thisdoestwobadthingstoyour wri6ng.First,itmakesthesentenceverysta6candunbalanceditdoesntmoveorowwithac6on oragency.Eveninscien6cwri6ngyouwanttoavoidwri6ngthatistoosta6c.Thebiggerproblem, however,issimplythattoomanycomplexnouns,especiallythose[XofY]typesofnounsthatSpanish speakingacademicstendtoliberallyapplytotheirwri6ng(aswewillseeshortly),oZenmakea sentencediculttoread. Theproblemofmisusingdenitear6clesisindependentofthenouninessproblem,butifyouareable toeliminateorreduceasentencesnouniness,itwillmakeiteasierforyoutoiden6fyandxerrorsin denitear6cleuse.Thekeythingtorememberaboutthedenitear6cleinEnglishisthatitisused withthingsthatareSPECIFIC:objects,beings,orspecicinstancesofaconcept.Mostofyouneedto becarefulbecauseSpanishusesdenitear6cleswhereEnglishdoesnotwithconcepts.InSpanish youcantalkabouttheconceptoflarugosidad,butinEnglishwetalkabouttheconceptofroughness, nottheroughness.Thisissomethingthatyouallknow,butyouprobablydonttakethe6metoreally checkforit.Butifyouhavefewernounsinyoursentences,itwillbeeasiertofocusonthefewnouns andar6clesthatdoremain. Finally,rememberthatusingthewithnamesisredundant.Byvirtueofhavinganamewhetheritbe Iaki,Dr.Pradera,Table2,Sec6on3.1,Chapter4,roughnessAorroughnessBitisalreadyspecic. JustaswedontrefertosomebodyastheIakiortheDr.Pradera,wedontrefertotheTable2 ortheroughnessA.

Letsnowreturntoourspecicexample.Asyounowknow,excessivenouninessisaproblem because(1)itsnotasusualinEnglishasitisinSpanish,(2)itstedioustoreadand(3)itsdicultto parseandkeeptrackof.Again,Spanishspeakersneedtobeespeciallycarefulwith[XofY]structures simplybyelimina6ngasmanyofthemasyoucanwillmakeyourwri6ngmorenaturalsoundingand easiertoread. Therearemanywaystorewrite[XofY]structures.Hereareafewofthem: ChangetheXofYtoagerundphrase(XingY):(a)theconsidera6onofcontacts6ness consideringcontacts6ness;(b)theimprovementoftherevisionprocessimprovingtherevision process.UsingagerundratherthananounisverynaturalinEnglish.Itsalsomoreverby,more dynamic,andintheendmoreinteres2ng. ChangetheX(orpossiblytheYortheYing)intoaverb:(a)theaimofrepresen6ngaimsto represent(thiswasfurtherreducedtocanberepresentedintheexample,andotherchangeswere madeelsewheretoendupwithagramma6calsentence) Changethepreposi6onintheXofYtoamoreappropriatepreposi6on:(a)thejointofthefull modelthejointinthefullmodel;(b)thebestcontribu6onsofresearchersinareaXYZthebest contribu6onsfromresearchersinareaXYZ.

Herearesomeotherwaysyoucouldhaveresolvedthispar6cularproblem.Allofthemareeasyto readandsoundverynatural.Andno6cethatineveryoneweveeliminatedallthree[XofY] structuresintheoriginalsentence!

Beforewelookatmoreexamplesofnouninessifyourwri6ng,letslookatwhatC.EdwardGoodhas tosayinhisbookonwri6ngandgrammar,AGrammarBookforYouandIOoops,me!(availableon GooglebooksandinmypublicbookshelfonGooglebooks): Thenounywriterneverstatessomething;thenounywritermakesastatement.Thenounywriter neverconcludesanything;thenounywriterreachesaconclusion.Thenounywriterneverhesitates; thenounywriterexhibitsahesitancy.Thenounywriterhasapreferencefornouns.Butagoodwriter prefersverbs.(p.215) So,wherepossible,reviseyourwri6ngforthefollowing: eliminateabstractnouns,especially[XofY]structures usemoredynamicverbsratherthangenericverbs+anounderivedfromaverb(forexample,make astatement) Thiswillhavetheaddedbenetofreducingthenumberofdenitear6clesinyourwri6ng,which meansyouwillbeabletoreallyfocusonwhetherthethesyoudousearecorrect.

Herearemoreexamplesofsentencesorpartsofsentencesthathaveproblemswithnouniness.How wouldyouxthem?Thealterna6vesinblueareonewayofdoingthat,andtheremaybeothers.

Nowthatyouknowmoreaboutwhatnouninessis,whyitssomethingyouneedtoworkon elimina6ngfromyourwri6ng,andhowyoucaneliminateitfromyourwri6ng,its6metoactuallylook atYOURwri6ng.YouhopefullyaregetngbeCeratNOTICINGnouninessinotherpeopleswri6ng; nowyouneedtomakesureyoucanno6ceitinyourwri6ng. TakeapaperyouvewriCen,printitout,andsitdownwithapencilorapenandunderlineallthe[Xof Y]structuresyound.Alwayskeepinginmindthelargercontextthatthestructureappearsin, eliminateasmanyofthosestructuresasyoucan,eitherbychanginganounintoaverborby changingthepreposi6onofintoamoreappropriatepreposi6on.Otherchangesmayhavetobe madesoyouendupwithacomplete,gramma6calsentence. Youmaynotbeabletoorevenwanttochangeevery[XofY]structureyound(aZerall,itISa legi6matestructureinEnglish,butitsusedinamuchmorelimitedwayinEnglishandtoomanyof themwillmakeyourwri6ngdrag),butthisexercisewillhelpyoubemoreawareofwhatthegood[X ofY]structuresareandwhentokeepthem,andwhatthebad[XofY]structuresandhowto eliminatethem. Dontforgettocheckthedenitear6clesthatremain! ResourcesforcombaPngnouniness: C.EdwardGoodsbookonGooglebooks(addthistoyourGooglelibrary):hCp://books.google.es/ books?id=KHp1kMdSJ8MC&redir_esc=y hCp://www.kmwordsmith.com/Tips/Nouniness.pdf

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