7 Habits of Highly Effective People

Stephen Coveys 7 Habits of Highly Effective People was THE self help of the 1990s. Enthusiasm and marketing of this book have dropped off in recent years but the lesson in the book are as applicable today as they were 10 years ago. The overall philosophy of the book is based on a maturity continuum which travels from Dependence (you) to independence (I) to interdependence (we). Habits 1, 2, and 3 deal with self mastery and private victories and assist in the transformation from dependent to independent. Habits 4, 5, and 6 build teamwork, cooperation and communication. These include Public Victories and transfer from the independent to the interdependent. Habit 1: Be Proactive There are 3 accepted theories of determinism to explain the nature of man. 1) Genetic determinism: its inherited in your genes 2) Psychic determinism: Freudian, learned early from your parents 3) Environmental: this is from your boss, your spouse, the kids, the economy, policies, etc. However, between stimulus and response, man has the freedom to choose. You can choose through self awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will. Reactive vs Proactive Reactive people are affected by their environment, the weather, how others treat them. Reactive people are driven by feelings, by circumstances, by conditions, by their environment Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli but their response to it is a value based choice or response. Eleanor Roosevelt: No one can hurt you without your consent, example Victor Frankl Nazi POW Self Awareness Circle of Concern: where do we focus our time and energy? i.e. our health, finances, children, work, national debt, etc. Circle of Influence: these are the concerns we have control over either directly (problems involving our own behaviour) or indirectly (problems involving the behaviour of others). Any time we think the problem is out there, that thought is the problem. We empower what is out there to control us. This paradigm approach is from the outside-in, example that much change before I can The proactive approach is to generate change from the inside out. Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means know where you are going so that you can better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction. Imagine your eulogy at your funeral. What would your friends say? What would you like them to say? Your family? Your co-workers? Begin with the end in mind is based on the principle that al things are created twice. Theres a mental of first creation and a physical or second creation to all things. There is an idea before there is an action. Management is a bottom line focus: How can I best accomplish certain things? Leadership deal with the top line: What do I want to accomplish? Management is doing things right, leadership is doing the right things. Management is efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership is determining whether the ladder is leaning against the right wall. A Personal Mission Statement The most effective way to build a personal mission statement is to begin with the end in mind. Focus on what you want to be (character) and do (contribution and achievements) and on the values upon which being and doing are based. Begin at the very center of your Circle of Influence. Different people have different paradigms for the source of their center, i.e. spouse, family, work, pleasure, money, self, but perhaps the center should be based upon principles instead? Habit 3: Put First Things First Effective management is all about putting first things first. While leadership decides what the first things are, it is management that puts them first, day by day, moment by moment. Management is the discipline carrying it out. The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures dont like to do. Time Management is actually a misnomer, time carries on despite us and we could never manage it. But the challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves. Question: What one new thing could you do on a regular basis to improve: a) your personal life, and/or b) your professional life?

Urgent

Non Urgent

Quadrant 1 Crisis Important Pressing Problems Deadlines

Quadrant II Prevention Relationship Building Recognizing Opportunities

Planning, Recreation Quadrant III Interruptions, telephone Not Important mail, reports meetings popular activities Quadrant IV trivia, busy work mail, email, internet time wasters pleasant activities

Urgent: requires immediate attention, usually visible, often popular with others, right in front of us, often easy fun to do Important: implies results, contributes to your mission, values, goals, generally more tedious without gratification. We react to urgent matters, but must be proactive in regards to important matters. Most people spend most of their time in Quandrants I and III. However, Quadrant II is the heart of effective personal management. It emphasizes relationship building, long range planning, exercising, preventative maintenance, and preparation. By expanding Quadrant II, you reduce Quadrant I There are 3 general faults of time and life management: 1) the inability to prioritize 2) the inability or desire to organize around the priorities 3) the lack of discipline to execute and stay with the priorities or 4) Habit #2 is not internalized. There are many people who recognize the value of Quadrant II but without a principle center and personal mission statement, they dont have the necessary foundation to sustain their efforts. 6 Important Criteria for a Quadrant II Organizer 1) Coherence: harmony/unity/integrity between your personal mission statement, roles and goals, priorities and plans, desires and discipline. 2) Balance: all roles are balanced, i.e. worder, spouse, parent, friend, self. 3) Quadrant II focus: organize on a weekly/monthly basis. The key is not to prioritize what is on your schedule but to schedule your priorities. 4) A People dimension: involve/interact with others, delegate. 5) Flexibility: you planning tool should be your servant, never your master. 6) Portability: carry your tool with you Habit 4: Think Win/Win Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win/Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena. Other paradigms include:

Win/Lose: this is most popular in business, sports, academics and even as control in some relationships. Lose/Win: low self esteem, always put others before themselves regardless of the results. Lose/Lose: this one is popular in divorce if I cant have it, nobody will. Win: a person with this mentality thinks in terms of securing his own ends and leaving it to others to secure theirs. Win/Win or No Deal: if both parties cant win, then walk away, keeping trust intact. Character is the foundation of Win/Win Three essential character traits include: 1) Integrity: goes back to your personal mission statement and values 2) Maturity: the balance between courage and consideration 3) Abundance mentality: the paradigm that there is plenty out there for everybody. This is the opposite of the scarcity mentality. For Win/Win the focus is on the results, not the methods. The essence of principled negotiation is to separate the person from the problem, to focus on interests and not on positions, to invent options for mutual gain, and to insist on objective criteria some external standard or principle that both parties can buy into. First see the problem from the other point of view Second identify key issues and concerns (not positions) Third determine what results would constitute a fully acceptable solution Fourth identify possible new options to achieve those results Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood Communication is the most important skill in life. Seek first to understand involves a very deep shift in paradigm. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. Theyre either speaking or preparing to speak. Theyre filtering everything through their own paradigms, reading their autobiography into the other peoples lives. When another speaks were usually listening at one of 4 levels: 1) 2) 3) 4) Ignoring not really listening at all Pretending yeah, uh-huh, right Selective listening hearing only parts Attentive listening focusing and paying attention to the words

But few people practice the 5th level Empathic Listening. This form of listening gets inside another persons frame of reference. They see the world the way they see it. They understand their paradigm and how they feel. Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival; to be understood, to be validated, to be appreciated. Because we listen autobiographically, we tend to respond in one of four ways: 1) We evaluate: we agree or disagree 2) We probe: ask questions from our own frame of reference 3) We advise: give counsel based on our experience

4) We interpret: try to figure people out, explain their motives, based on our own paradigms Some people believe empathic listening takes too much time. But it really is short term investment for long term gain. Know how to be understood is the other half of Habit 5 and is equally critical in reaching Win/Win solutions. To best be understood, one must possess: 1) Ethos: personal credibility, integrity, competence. Much of this comes from a character ethic and your personal mission statement 2) Pathos: the empathic side, the feeling, the emotional alignment with the other persons communication. 3) Logos: the logic, the reasoning part of the presentation Habit 5 is powerful because it is found right in the middle of your Circle of Influence. Habit 6: Synergize Synergy is the essence of principle-centered leadership. It catalyzes, unifies, and unleashes the greatest power within people. Simply defined the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, 1+1= 3, or more. Most people can recall at least one synergistic event in their lives that had a profound effect, i.e. team spirit, an emergency To many, such events seem unusual, out of character, even miraculous. But this is not so. These things can be produced regularly, consistently, almost daily in peoples lives. But it requires enormous personal security and openness, and a spirit of adventure. One can even be synergistic with ones self. When a person has access to both the intuitive, creative, and visual right brain and the analytical, logical, verbal left brain, then the whole brain is working. There is psychic energy taking place in ones own head. The result is a logical AND emotional response. Synergy requires trust, openness, a Win/Win attitude, and the ability to value the differences. Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw Habit 7 is personal Production Capability (PC). Its preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have you! Its renewing the 4 dimensions of your nature: 1) The physical dimension: eating the right food, getting sufficient rest and relaxation, and exercising. This is a high leverage, Quadrant II activity that most of us dont do consistently because its not urgent. 2) The spiritual dimension: your core, your center, your commitment to your value system. It draws on the sources that inspire and uplift you and is very private. Some may choose religion or meditation. Some may find it in nature away from the noise and commotion of the city and unifying with the harmony and rhythm of the earth. 3) The mental dimension: most of us experienced out mental development and study discipline through a formal education. But once we graduated from school we let our minds atrophy. Surveys show that a television is on in most homes 35-45 hours per week!

These three dimensions represent the Daily Private Victory. One hour per day will affect every decision and relationship. It will greatly improve every other hour of the day, including sleep, and it will help you handle all challenges. 4) The Social Emotional Dimension: while the physical, spiritual and mental dimensions are closely related to Habits 1,2,3 centered on the principles of personal vision, leadership and management, the Social/Emotional dimension focuses on Habits 4, 5, and 6, the principles of interpersonal leadership, empathic communication, and creative cooperation. If our personal security comes from sources within ourselves, then we have the strength to practice the habits of Public Victory. The 4 Dimensions Organizational Equivalents 1) Physical: expressed in economic terms 2) Mental: recognition, development, and use of talent 3) Social: human relations and how people are treated 4) Spiritual: finding meaning through purpose or contribution and through organizational integrity If all 4 dimensions are not addressed, the organization will face problems in the form of collective resistance, adversarialism, excessive turnover and other deep cultural problems.