FATHERHOOD

FATHERHOOD
A ROLE MODEL

MUGALU E. DUNCAN

Fatherhood |Prepared by Mugalu E. Duncan

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FATHERHOOD
A Book prepared to Provide Men, Husbands and Fathers with the Necessary Research and Tools to become Great Role Models, Loving and Available fathers who do their best to raise Confident, Moral and Principled children.

Mugalu E. Duncan
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CONTENTS Chapter One The Culture of Fatherhood Chapter Two A Good Father (Leaves an Inheritance) Chapter Three The Three Qualities that make a Good Father Chapter Four Your Seed will never run out Chapter Five The Need for Fatherhood Chapter Six The Five main needs of a Child from his/her Father Chapter Seven You too can be the Kind of Father that is revered 19 13 11 10 6 5 4

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CHAPTER ONE The Culture of Fatherhood Definition of Fatherhood Fatherhood from a noun relating to the kinship between an offspring and a father, it is described as Paternity within a family relationship and a Kinship relationship. Its an anthropology connected to relatedness or connection by blood or marriage or adoption. Its the state or responsibility of being a father The Qualities of a father Fathers considered as a group The Culture of Fatherhood Culture: The Word Culture is a noun 1. It is the quality in a person or society that arises from a concern for what is regarded as excellent in arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc. 2. It is that which is excellent in the arts, manners, etc. 3. It is a particular form or stage of civilization, as that of a certain nation or period 4. It is development or improvement of the mind by education or training. 5. It is the behaviors and beliefs characteristic of a particular social, ethnic, or age group: the youth culture; the drug culture. Therefore the culture of fatherhood is the Quality, Concerns, Excellence, Pursuit, Behavior, Belief and Character of Fathers and fatherhood.

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CHAPTER TWO A Good Father (Leaves an Inheritance) Proverbs 20:6-7
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Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? The righteous man leads a blameless life; blessed are his children after him.

Proverbs 13:22 A good man leaves an inheritance for his childrens children, but a sinners wealth is stored up for the righteous.
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Goodness in any Man/Father is entirely based on living a Righteous Life. A life that is based on and guided by the Word of God based in Faith. Living in the Fear of God which is the very beginning of the Wisdom of managing your own life and Family as a Man, Husband and Father. Proverbs 9:10. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. 11 For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. 12 If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer.
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Psalm 128:1-6 Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in his ways. You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours. 3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table. 4 Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD. 5 May the LORD bless you from Zion all the days of your life; may you see the prosperity of Jerusalem, 6 and may you live to see your childrens children. Peace be upon Israel.
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CHAPTER THREE The Three Qualities that make a Good Father A Good Father is one that is Faithful. but a faithful man who can find? Proverbs 20:6b Faithfulness means Adhering firmly and devotedly, having or being full of faith, being worthy of trust or belief, being reliable, being consistent with truth or actuality. So being faithful as a father is having all the qualities mentioned above. Proverbs 28:20.
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A faithful man will be richly blessed, but one eager to get rich will not go unpunished.

A Good Father Leaves an Inheritance

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A good man leaves an inheritance for his childrens children.. Proverbs 13:22a

What kind of Inheritance have you or are you preparing to leave to the generations that are coming after you? Are they inheritances to ways to poverty, lack, pain and disease or inheritances that will lead them to lives of prosperity, plenty, peace and health? You will leave a nature of posterity to those after you by the nature of the seeds that you sow through the kind of life you live in this world and in the kingdom of God. Exodus 20:5-6. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
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Exodus 34:7. maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.
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Numbers 14:18. The LORD is slow to anger, abounding in love and forgiving sin and rebellion. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.
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2Kings 10:30. The LORD said to Jehu, Because you have done well in accomplishing what is right in my eyes and have done to the house of Ahab all I had in mind to do, your descendants will sit on the throne of Israel to the fourth generation.
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2Kings 15:12. So the word of the LORD spoken to Jehu was fulfilled: Your descendants will sit on the throne of Israel to the fourth generation.
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1Kings 2:12.
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So Solomon sat on the throne of his father David, and his rule was firmly established.

Isaiah 9:6-7. For to us a child is born,to us a son is given,and the government will be on his shoulders.And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. 7 Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on Davids throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever.
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This was because of Davids royal and kind heart that made God make a covenant to preserve the rule of David through his family.

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Two examples of two fathers that determined to lay a good foundation and thus leave a good inheritance for their children and childrens children: a) Isaiah Isaiah 8:16-18. Bind up the testimony and seal up the law among my disciples who will pass it on to future generations 17 I will wait for the LORD, who will help us, who is hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will put my trust in him. 18 Here am I, and the children the LORD has given me. We are signs and symbols in Israel from the LORD Almighty, who dwells on Mount Zion.
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b) Joshua Joshua 24:15 "And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." Joshua son of nun was well aware through his experience with the Lords service and from the lifestyle of his Spiritual father Moses, that living a life of serving the Lord is the best way in which an individual could ever invest their lives for a lasting and sure future. Matthew 6:19. Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
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A Good Father is one that Fears the Lord. Proverbs 3:7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; Fear the LORD and depart from evil. Deuteronomy 6:2 "that you may fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. Joshua 24:14 "Now therefore, fear the LORD, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the LORD! Jeremiah 26:19b . Did he not fear the LORD and seek the LORD'S favor? A good father should be one that does not puff up evil in his heart but applies it to the study and application of Gods word and thus have his life bear fruits of goodness, kindness and love, one that is totally free of perversity, selfishness, compromise, hatred and all kinds of negativity and evil.

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CHAPTER FOUR Your Seed will Never run out Genesis 8:22. As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.
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Genesis 3:15 And I will put enmity Between you and the woman, And between your seed and her Seed; He shall bruise your head, And you shall bruise His heel." Genesis 22:18 "In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice." Genesis 26:4 "And I will make your descendants multiply as the stars of heaven; I will give to your descendants all these lands; and in your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed; Genesis 28:14 "Also your descendants shall be as the dust of the earth; you shall spread abroad to the west and the east, to the north and the south; and in you and in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed. As a father that obeys the Voice of the Lord God and does what is pleasing to Him, you are bound to experience the goodness and grace of God in your life and the life of those that come after you and Gods covenant towards you for blessing and preservation will stand. YOUR SEED SHALL NOT CEASE.

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CHAPTER FIVE The Need for Fatherhood Lack of fatherhood whether through Immature Deaths or Negligence is the number one cause of the main instabilities within Families and Societies. Crime, Lower self-esteem among children, Low grades in School, unhealthy views about male female relationships are just some of the many setbacks experienced due to lack of the presence of a strong Father. An article about a changing Culture of fatherhood by Mark T. Morman:
A "Changing Culture of Fatherhood": Effects on Affectionate Communication, Closeness, and Satisfaction in Men's Relationships with Their Fathers and Their Sons. by Mark T. Morman , Kory Floyd Without question, the relational dynamic experienced by men within the father-son dyad is a source of significant and long-lasting influence on a host of important psychosocial and developmental issues in the lives of men. For most men, the fatherson relationship has an enormous influence on several developmental issues in nearly every area of their lives (Bochner, 1976). For example, the father-son relationship reportedly is an important predictor of sons' future communication behaviors (BuerkelRothfuss & Yerby, 1981; Fink, 1993), their relational success and communication with their spouses (Beatty & Dobos, 1993; Berry, 1990), their attitudes toward sexuality (Fisher, 1987), their academic achievement (Snarey, 1993) and educational attainment (Harris, Furstenberg, & Kramer, 1998), their future income levels (Duncan, Hill, & Yeung, 1996), their parenting style (Simons, Beaman, Conger, & Chao, 1993; Simons, Whitbeck, Conger, & Wu, 1991), their potential for delinquent behavior (Harris, Furstenberg, & Kramer, 1998), and their overall emotional health (Berry, 1990). For a father, the relationship experienced with his son influences the father's emotional health (Berry, 1990), adult development, and psychosocial adjustment (Snarey, 1993). Recent research has indicated that fathers who choose to be actively involved in the lives of their sons help to develop young men who are less aggressive, less overtly competitive, and more emotionally expressive and empathic (Brody, 1996). Further, fathers who play a direct role in parenting their sons help to raise individuals who
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subsequently are better able to resolve conflict, who are more caring and better able to share intimacy, and who appear to be more relaxed concerning gender role expectations of traditional masculinity (Pollack, 1998; Pruett, 1989). Other scholars have focused on the positive outcomes associated with fathers taking an active role in raising their sons, such as the communication of affection (Morman & Floyd, 1999), relational satisfaction (Beatty & Dobos, 1992; Martin & Anderson, 1995), intimacy (Buerkel, 1996), and confirmation (Beatty & Dobos, 1993). Clearly, a growing body of research indicates that men who are actively involved in raising their sons can have an overwhelmingly positive impact on the life course their sons pursue. An even larger body of literature has focused on what one might classify as the negative outcomes associated with poor, ineffective, or distant fathering behaviors, however. This body of work provides the foundation for the common assumption that most men have dysfunctional, contentious, and emotionally distant relationships with their fathers, relationships that produced emotionally disabled, angry, and resentful young men destined to fail in their attempts at fathering their own sons (Doherty, 1991; Gerson, 1993; Levant, 1992). Hawkins and Dollahite (1997) called this view the "roleinadequacy perspective"; Kindlon and Thompson (1999) referred to it as the role of the "disqualified dad," and Larson and Richards (1994) concluded that fathers appear to be the "weak link" in the emotional life of the family. Whatever the description, ineffective fathering ostensibly is central to a host of negative and socially dysfunctional outcomes associated with many American young adult men, adolescents, and boys in contemporary culture (Kindlon & Thompson, 1999; Pollack, 1998). One study revealed that 23% of fathers were physically absent from their sons' upbringing, 29% were psychologically absent, and 18% were totally uninvolved with raising their sons (see Osheron, 1986, p. 7). Streiker (1989) reported that over 12 million children in the United States do not live with their fathers, whereas 88% of children who are part of divorced families end up living with their mothers (Osheron, 1986). A study of 300 male executives and midlevel managers dealing with what single factor they would alter in their relationships with their fathers while growing up at home showed a majority as wishing that they could have been closer to their fathers and that their fathers had expressed more emotion and feeling toward them (DeLong & DeLong, 1992). Unfortunately, Osheron (1986) concluded that the primary experience of the father-son relationship is one of distance, estrangement, pain, and sadness. Kindlon and Thompson (1999) discovered that most men want to do a good job raising their sons and want to do it better than their fathers did. These same men also expressed aggravation, disappointment, and discontentment with their sons' behavior or personality, communication styles, and decision-making abilities, however. Similarly, many of their sons reported frustration with fathers who do not listen, do not understand, and demand respect without offering it.

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CHAPTER SIX The Five Main needs of a Child from his/her Father 1. Your Child needs words of Comfort Your words of comfort should be available to your child even when it seems to be at your own cost. Those words should be in place not because you feel to but because you are just in the office of doing just the same. Your kindness in words should be availed when such situations such as when your child Looses something Important, Is injured due to carelessness, causes a fender-bender, a child told you that he has made someone pregnant or she has been made pregnant. At such moments, your words should be of Comfort instead of expressions of Anger, Disappointment and Judgment. Your attitude of comfort and consolation through allowing your child to express his/her feelings and thoughts freely, active, attentive and careful, concerned listening and your response with empathy opens a gate into the life of your child for you to apply correction and teach them about right and wrong. 2. Appreciate your Childs Self Image Let your child know that you appreciate his/her build (body shape and general appearance), Capabilities, Inner strength,

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3. Give your Child a Picture of the Future Discuss with your Child the Nature of a life he/she would love to achieve and ask him/her the reason how he/she chooses to take that choice of pursuit and with creative understanding, draw a reasonable plan on how that plan could be achieved. A childs focus may change as he/she grows up and diverts from the discussed plan but she will have picked up the process of the achievement of any project or business from you. 4. Protect your Children Give your child the necessary Defense from all Physical, Emotional, Moral and Spiritual dangers of life. Let your children have a sense of security within them even in your Absence. Secondly prepare your children to handle dangerous situations by helping them to attain skills such as in cases of how to respond to an attacking stranger or strange behavior traits from the society. Speak to your children of how to live as responsible citizens and to always have a reverence for the different laws that govern society and life itself. Teach your children on how to stand their ground to say No to all the inappropriate issues of life and to also appreciate the good that is. When a child grows to a given stage of life, teach them how to handle and manage worry and anxiety but sharing openly with them on the very truth you know about worry and Anxiety. We are living in a time where children are accessing a lot of junk and stuff that do not align with our set standards for life. As a father, you need to always set a heart to heart talk with your children so as to evaluate their thought life and attitude to different issues of life. You may also take your children out for a
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missions trip. This would be done on one on with a given child or as a team and also depending on your potential and time plan. Remember to hold discussions that cause them to consider options and think through possible consequences of their choices while sifting through opinion, facts and knowledge and then judge and examine the information so as to form coherent conclusions and this helps you not to appear dominative with your endless stream of Lectures. This also helps you as a Father to model discernment and to equip your children to be discerning as they face tough choices and peer pressure. It also teaches a child to be considerate and kind to others. It builds a listener and an automatic leader who is full of insight. 5. A good Father shows an example of a good Husband to his Wife and a good Manager at his place of work and a committed person to faith before his children A Good Husband You need to show your children and sons more so what a healthy, loving marriage looks like. Let them see how you respect your wife and encourage them to honor her as well. Let your children see how you value, gracefully communicate and enjoy her company. Let your children see you help out with the house chores whenever your wife might be stressed with much work to handle. Let them hear you appreciate their mom for her endeavor to make the home a nice place. Show your children that a king is one only if he faithfully serves those under him.

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A Good Manager On some occasions, you can carry a given adult child to your place of work and let him see where your earnings are gotten from. Speak of your place of work as you relate to their passions and desired careers for life. Show how much life moves with creativity and diligence. Get them to help you with a few works on the computer as you expose them to the knowledge they will need in the years to come. Teach them to value those that try to make their lives better and those that help out to make their life simpler. Reward your children every time they get a job well done and allow them to understand that they would be responsible for any loses made at any given piece of work. Do not hesitate to help out your child when he/she intends to repair a broken piece. Commitment to Faith Teach your children to look beyond themselves. Teach them the value of faith By example, Children will gain an appreciation for prayer, worship, and other acts of devotion. A Fathers presence is paramount in equipping his children in this area. Male Children, who grow up without a masculine model of spiritual vitality, may view faith as a feminine pursuit. A real man shows compassion and strength, humility and decisiveness. Even in times as these when many fathers work long hours, childrens schedules jam packed, and there seems no regular time for extended or regular family devotions. Even then fathers shouldnt use that as an excuse. If its important to you, make sure it gets on the calendar, and follow through. Also one-on-one times with each of your children is recommend where you read and discuss
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Scriptures and check in on how theyre doing and what challenges theyre facing and they contribute to the faith. As a father, you must intentionally look for opportunities that will help your children to grow in the faith Help your children to have a heart that reaches out Challenge your children to never let another student sit alone in the school cafeteria. He/she should take the initiative to go over and sit by that student. Get your family involved in service-oriented activities on an ongoing basis: sponsoring a needy child, supporting a missions organization, or helping a family you know who may be in need. Encourage and assist youth workers, coaches, and other mentors who are investing in your childrens lives. Show appreciation for what they do. Even though you are the one with primary responsibility to train them, they are wonderful assets who can sometimes get through to your children at times when you cant. Help your children about Purity and Respect Let not your children be the example of indecency in society Many young men and women do lose their sense of respect, and it especially shows in their speech. They trash talk, curse, and make crude jokes. They denigrate women or use foul language in front of little children. Somewhere along the way, someone failed to correct their behavior. Monitor the way your children are talking, and teach them to use their speech for positive endslike articulating thoughts and feelings, building relationships, giving encouragement, and speaking words of life and peace. Teach them how to respect other adultslooking them in the eye, shaking hands firmly, speaking clearly, and even using Sir and Maam. If your children seem disrespectful toward those older, particularly their mother, hold them accountably by saying, That is unacceptable. Your mother is my wife. You cannot talk to her like that. You are your childrens main instructor about what life is about and how they should act. Sit down with your child, tell him/her what youve observed, and explain why that
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behavior is wrong. If he/she continues to act rudely, keep imposing consequences until his behavior changes. The ultimate goal is to raise children who have self-disciplinean internal strength that helps them to avoid lifes pitfalls and make wise choices, based on solid values. This includes: Abstaining from sex. Talk to your children about how putting the brakes on their sex drives now, leads to greater rewards later. To prove the point, look for other examples of the benefits of delayed gratification. Tell them: Taking extra sport and talent work instead of watching TV might earn them a starting spot on the varsity team. Finishing homework Friday night would allow them to really enjoy their weekend. And spending less on fast food or music downloads today and could buy that bass guitar or piano tomorrow. Having integrity with his/her school work, which will lead him/her to be a valuable employee? Playing by the rules in games. Handling money with honesty. Saying no to drugs and alcohol and wrong groups.

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CHAPTER SEVEN You too can be the Kind of Father that is revered You too can be the kind of father that is revered, one that your children can count on if you apply your life to the principles stated from the very beginning of this book. I too pray that as you purpose to be become the role model to your children, that God will give you the strength and courage, the wisdom and insight to carry through all the necessary steps to effective fatherhood. Remember as a Man, Husband or Father that you are the head of the family, the excellence of your family is totally dependent on you. So if you dont take it on, No one will. Stay blessed, I remain your fellow Man, Husband and Father, Mugalu Edwin Duncan.

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OTHER BOOKS BY MUGALU E. DUNCAN

ONE MIRACLE The Greatest Discovery - The Discovery of Oneself BOOK OF WISDOM 1, 2, 3 & 4 BUSINESS The Christian View LIFE

FAMILY, FRUITS AND FOUNDATIONS THE BLESSING OF A SPIRITUAL FATHER DILIGENCE

BIBLICAL INSPIRATIONAL ECONOMICAL SCRIPTURES FOR MEDITATION MASTERING MONEY

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Mugalu Edwin Duncan is an inspirational and Motivational Speaker. A Preacher of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and Founder of Arise Africa Project

Young Christian Trust Mission

Prophecy In Motion Foundation and Mugalu Duncan Ministries. To Contact the Author

Write to Email: evmugalu@live.com or Visit Website: www. mugalu.weebly.com

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