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Running head: FAMILY IN TRANSITION-ADAPTATION TO THE NEW

Family in Transition Adaptation to the new Transition to Parenthood Peixia Yang Student number: 100686747 George Brown College

Introduction

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Transition, a major concept of Family Developmental Theory, is similar to change theory. Inherent in transition from one developmental stage to the next new stage is a period of upheaval as the family moves from one state to another (Veltri, 2010). Becoming parents or adding a child brings stress to a family by challenging family stability, not only for the nuclear and extended family systems, but also for the individual members and subsystems of the family. As new subsystems are created or modified by pregnancy and childbirth, a sense of disequilibrium exists until a family adapts to its new member and reachieves stability. The transition to parenthood is identified as a long-term process that result in qualitative reorganmization of both inner life and external behavior (Carter & McGoldrick, 2005). Just as a mother needs to learn how her body and emotions will change as she prepares for a child's birth, couples need to know about the changes that may occur for them as they make the transition from partners to parents. The transition from familial dyad to triad brings many changes (Fawcett, 2004). Becoming parents seems to disrupt most marriages to some extent and some marriages to a great extent. These disruptions affect new parents on personal and marital levels. Some of these changes typically include a more traditional division of labor, a decrease in personal and leisure time, and an increase in baby-centered activities and other instrumental functions. The extent to which couples are able to anticipate and adjust to these changes is predictive of marital strain or satisfaction during and after the transition to parenthood. For many couples unmet expectations and declines in communication and intimacy contribute

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to decreases in marital satisfaction after the birth of the first baby. In fact, researchers have begun to refer to the decline in marital satisfaction during the transition to parenthood as one of the most pervasive and consistent findings in the literature . Strengthening marriages during the transition to parenthood has become the focus of several interventions. Because of the challenges faced by couples as they become parents, many researchers have identified this transition as an ideal time for marital intervention.

Statement of the Problem The purpose of this paper is to provide some of the key concerns that parents encounter in the transition to parenthood and helpful resources or strategies to cope with them.

Key Transition Issues in Becoming a Parent Division of labor in housework and child care A key question that new parents ask each other about housework and child care is: Who does what? Finding agreement and mutual satisfaction in this area is vital to overcoming post-birth marital and parental challenges. The care and nurturing of infants bring sleep disruption, demands on time and energy, additional household tasks (Veltri, 2010). Shifting these tasks may be stressful and affect the familys functioning. This issue often leads to more conflict and disagreement than any other. Helpful Coping Strategies

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A key strategy for managing this transition as a couple is identifying and discussing your expectations about who will do what tasks and why. Each person carries ideas about who should be responsible for certain child-care or household tasks women, men or a mix of both. These are gender expectations. Yours might be traditional, egalitarian (sharing responsibilities equally) or transitional (who's responsible while the baby is little). Think through your expectations and compare them with your partner, then search for common ground. Try the following approaches: Make a list of specific child-care and housework tasks (laundry, feeding the child, putting the child to sleep, getting up at night, changing diapers, making meals, etc.). Discuss how each of you feels about doing each of these tasks. Decide who will be responsible for certain things and then support each other (Brotherson, 2004). Develop new skills in care giving and ways of interactiong with babies. Focus on giving support to each other and making your child's life safe and positive. Avoid keeping score of who does what around the house (Brotherson, 2004). Changes in familys financial stability Changes in the familys income, financial stability, and resources occur because one or both parents have to take time away from paid employment at a time when they are coping with increased medical and personal expenses (Maloni et al., 2001). Childbearing results in additional expenses and lower family income. Families may fall back onto savings, increase their debt, or alter their lifestyles to match changing levels of income. Providing for family financial needs often is a concern of new parents.

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Helpful Coping Strategies A key strategy for dealing with money concerns is working to understand each other's patterns in thinking about and using money and managing any differences in a healthy way. A child's birth naturally brings differences in values and ideas to the surface. A key is not to let these differences come to be seen as glaring deficiencies in the parents' relationship. Try the following approaches: Find some resources, such as nutrition programs and prenatal clinics, that fit with the financial resources of the family. Refer to an appropriate financial counselor who can assist the family explore ways to manage financial problems (Martell, 2005), or take classes on budgeting and money management. Create a specific family budget and add in the new costs associated with having a child. Be specific. Make plans about how to cover new expenses and adjust to the financial aspects of raising a child (Brotherson, 2004). Relationship difficulties The greatest challenge of the transition to parenthood seems to be the changing nature of the marital relationship from a romantic dyad to a familial triad. This transition is particularly difficult because of our cultural belief in the myth of marital happiness (Fowers, 2000). No marriage or partnership goes unaffected by a child's birth. Couples often may feel less connected to one another for a time. Fatigue, diverging activities and

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the need for mutual support contribute to this feeling. Having less time for one another and having physical and sexual affection decline significantly are typical. Each person must reserve some time for the other and make efforts to be understanding and supportive of the other's needs. Scheduling time as a couple just to talk, share feelings, express support or get away for some personal time is very important. Helpful Coping Strategies A key strategy for working through relationship difficulties is to understand what changes are coming to your life as a result of having a child and to adapt to those changes to grow in your relationship. One important fact parents must face is that a child changes their relationships, especially marriage or couple relationships. Thus, parents often must adjust their expectations for each other and the relationship.Try the following approaches: Set a regular time each day to have personal time as a couple for discussion and re-connecting emotionally. Also, find time each week to get out together as a couple and spend time together (Brotherson, 2004). Show admiration and appreciation for one another strengthen their marital friendship. This friendship creates a strong base for an enduring marital partnership (Fawcett, 2004). Emotional changes After the birth of a baby many emotions are possible from joy and relief to sadness. Up to 80% of new mothers may feel sad, tired and overwhelmed for the first few days after giving birth. Changes in relationships, economic demands, and social support take place

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during this time and can result in postpartum stress (Hung, 2005). Postpartum depression is the most principle emotional change in the period after childbirth. It has been described as a dangerous thief that robs women of precious time together with their infants that they had been dreaming of throughout pregnancy (Beck, 2001). Some common signs of postpartum depression include: sadness; frequent crying; insomnia or excessive sleeping; lack of interest or pleasure in usual activities, including sexual relations; difficulties thinking, concentrating, or making decisions; lack of concern about personal appearance; feelings or worthlessness; fatigue or loss of energy; depressed mood; thoughts of death, including suicidal ideation without a plan, suicide plan or attempt (Davidson, M. R., London, M. L. , & Ladewig, P . A., 2008; Driscoll, 2006). The effect of maternal depression are not limited to the mother herself but spread to family, friends, and coworkers alike. Unlike mothers, fathers do not go through all the physical changes of pregnancy and giving birth so they may not begin to adjust to parenthood until the baby is born. Fathers may see their partner as being preoccupied with the needs of the baby and they may feel left out or unloved. Fathers may also feel uncertain about how to be more involved or how to help their partner. They may begin to find it hard to juggle work and new family demands. Helpful Coping Strategies There is a range of effective treatments and helpful services for managing postnatal depression and anxiety. The earlier a woman seeks help, the faster she is likely to recover.

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The pressure on men to be strong and able to solve their problems themselves can make it hard for them to share their feelings and get the support they need. It can also make it difficult for them to give their partner the support she needs. Positive thinking and activities can help couples to cope with their emotional problems. Try the following approaches: Help women differentiate between myths of the mother role versus the reality foof motherhood where prepregnancy clothes do not fit, infants periodically become demanding malcontents, and houses are messy because family members are too exhausted to clean (Driscoll, 2006). Encourage women to talk to others and share their thoughts and feelings with family and friends. Assist women to recreate, restructure, and integrate changes that new motherhood brings into their daily lives. Encourage fathers to focus on the babys care, and to think that becoming a father is an important milestone in his life and often enhances his relationship with his partner and other members of their family. Family dynamics change When you bring your newborn home, it should be one of the most joyous times of your life. However, truth be told it can be one of the most stressful times as well. Any time that a new family member is thrown into the mix, family dynamics change drastically and it takes time and patience for a family to adjust to that change (Baby development, 2008). New moms have to devote most of their waking hours to infant care. They are extremely tired

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during the day and at night. Due to this fathers may feel totally left out of the picture. This may cause a lot of stress and strain in the household. Men may act sulky or pouty. They feel that they have totally lost their spot in the pecking order in the household to a small bundle of kicking, screaming, poop creating, little human. Helpful Coping Strategies Caring for a new infant can be very exhausting and time consuming. It can take both parents working very hard to make sure that an infant is cared for correctly. This is something that most parents are not well prepared for. It is also something that is very hard to try to explain to new parents. However there are some things that they can do to relieve some of the stress and strain of parenting. Try the following approaches: Agree to talk over anything that is bothering either parent so that things do not fester inside them. Plan some alone time for mom and dad. Allow grandparents to take care of the new baby and get out for a few hours at least once a week. This helps keep marriages from having issues and allows couples some time to be close and be a wife or husband again, not just a parent. Organize household chores and divide them up so that moms and dads have equal amounts of chores to do while there is so much stress on mom and a new infant at home. Ask family and friends to prepare meals and freeze them ahead of time for easy preparation. This is something they can do and will help out tremendously. Any man can microwave a casserole. Purchase paper plates and things that you can dispose of later

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instead of having to wash so many dishes until you have had time to get rested (Baby development, 2008). Social activities Usually recreational activities, such as going to movies, eating out at restaurants or seeing friends, decline markedly after a child's birth. New parents worry about leaving a child with someone else and so may not go out at all. Mothers at home with the child may feel isolated and cut off, wishing for an adult conversation. Social activities in a couple's lives often change with the birth of a child, and so partners need to take time to adjust and discuss how they will handle such changes (Brotherson,2004). Helpful Coping Strategies Couples need to take the time to think about their future as a couple and how their social activities may change after a child's birth. Try the following approaches: Communicate regularly about how to handle the shifts in your social life that may take place with a child's birth. How does each person feel about the changes? Continue to communicate with others you care about, including friends, family members and each other. Find opportunities to "get out" that may include walks, picnics or even just athome movies or time reserved for each other. Communication often should include topics other than the needs of the baby!

Implication for family nursing practice

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Family today are challenged with numerous transitions that have the capacity to produce stress. Nurses are participants in guiding nursing practice, developing and using research, and setting and implementing policy. Practice Family-centered care is an approach to care that recognizes the strengths and needs of patients and families and the essential roles that family memnbers play in the promotion of health and the management of illness(Roudebush, Kaufman, Johnson, Abraham, & Clayton, 2006, p.202). Nurses may find barriers in their practice settings that interfere with promoting family development. To some nurses, mother/baby mean s that the family members will assume all the care for the baby with nurses periodically checking in and renewing baby care supplies. In settings other than hospitals, changing the focus of care from individuals to families is the most important step in promoting family care. In home care will be more effective when it includes family members in care. Research The scientific knowledge about the effect of these technologies on families needs investigation. Because nurses focus on the full range of human experiences, the nursing profession has an opportunity to be the leader in launching such studies. Areas for study include the most effective ways to counslecounsel or interact with clients about infertility, genetic counseling, in vitro surgeries, and other medical advances. Research on family nursing interventions and outcomes for childbearing families needs support to develop evidence-based nursing practice. Evaluation of the effectivenmess of family nursing

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interventions is especially critical when health care costs are under close scrutiny. Policy Nurses need to be aware of the effect of legislation on childbearing families. One example is family leave for childbirth, which can profoundly affect the health and development of childbearing families (Veltri, 2010). The Family and Medical Leave Act entitles family members to take unpaidn time away from employment without penalizing them, to care for a family member, such as a newborn, with health care needs. Unfortunately, many families cannot take advantage of the benefits of this act because it applies only to certain size businesses, and employers are not obligated to pay on-leave employees. Hospitals also have policies that form barriers to family welfare and relationships, which should be of concern to family nurses considering how varied the family of today is. For example, increasing numbers of nontraditional families, such as lesbian couples, are having children through donor insemination or adoption (Roberts, 2006). Often, nurses think of policies as entities beyond their control. In actuality, nurses have a voice and power in forming and changing policies.

Conclusion Families today are challenged with numerous transitions that have the capacity to produce stress. Making a healthy transition from partners to parents will help you strengthen your couple relationship and provide a positive, caring environment for your new child. Adaptation is the ability to make needed changes and ultimately recover from

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stressor events. Family professionals must be cognizant of these varying family coping strategies and determine whether transitions are resulting in a cumulative effect that destabilizes family systems and negatively affects health.

References Baby development. (2008). Baby makes three-changing family dynamics. Baby development guide. RetrivedRetrieved November 4, 2008, from http://www.angelbabys.com/baby-makes-three-changing-family-dynamics/ Beck, C. T. (2001). Predictors of postpartum depression: An update. Nursing Research,

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50(5), 275-285. Brotherson, S. (2004). The Transition from Partners to Parents. NDSU Extension Service, FS-604. Retrieved October 2004, from http://www.ag.ndsu.edu/pubs/yf/famsci/fs604w.htm Carter, B. & McGoldrick, M. (2005). The expanded family life cycle: Individual, family and social perspectives (3rd ed.). New York: Allyn & Bacon, Pearson Education Company. Davidson, M.R., London, M.L., & Ladewig, P.A.(2008). Olds maternal-newborn nursing and womens health across the lifespan (8th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall. Driscoll, J.W.(2006). Postpartum depression: How nurses can identify and care for women grappling with his disorder. Lifelines, 10(5), 399-409. Fawcett, E. B.(2004). Helping with the transition to parenthood: An evaluation of the marriage moments program, Brigham Young University. Fowers, B. J. (2000). Beyond the myth of marital happiness. San Francisco, CA: JosseyBass. Hung, C. H. (2005). Womens postpartum stress, social support and healthkhealthy status. Western Journal of Nursing Research, 27(2), 148-159 Maloni, J. A., Brezinski-Tomasi, J. E., & Johnson, L. A. (2001). Antepartum bed rest: Effect upon the family. Journal of Obstetric, Gynecology and Neonatal Nursing,30(2), 165-172.

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Martell, L. K. (2005). Family nursing with childbearing families. In S. M. Hanson, V. Gedaly-Duff, & J. R. Kaakinen (Eds.), Family health care nursing: Theory, practice & research (3rd ed., pp. 291-323). Philadelphia: F.A. Davis. Roberts, S. J. (2006). Healthcare recommendations for lesbian women. Journal of Obstetrics, Gynecology and Neonatal Nursing, 35(5), 583-591. Roudebush, J.R., Kaufman, J., Johnson, B. H., Abraham, M. R., & Clayton, S. P. (2006). Patient and family-centered perinatal care: Partnerships with childbearing women and families. The Journal of Perinatal and Neonatal Nursing, 20(3), 201-209. Veltri, L. (2010). Family nursing with childbearing families. In J. R. KaakinenKaakinen, J. R., Coehlo, D. P. Coehlo, V. Gedaly-Duff, V. & S. M. Hanson, S. M. (Eds.), Family health care nursing: Theory, practice & research (4rd 4th ed., pp. 309-331). Philadelphia: F.A. Davis.