10 Essential Negotiating Skills for Strategic HR Managers

1. Take a dispassionate, emotionally neutral look at the issue. Never start with an assumption. When you start with any kind of assumption, such as that employee is asking for more than well give her, and she knows it, then every decision that follows in the dialogue will be based on your initial assumption. You cannot know what is on the other persons mind until she tells you. Assumptions, biases, and fears are all emotion-based states, and decisions based on emotions are not sound decisions. Begin, instead, by clearing your mind of any preconceptionsand asking team members on your side of the table to do the same. Throughout the negotiation, try to stay focused on what is being said, not what you think. 2. Find out the real, not the assumed, needs of every stakeholder group. Before you begin labor union talks, financial meetings, negotiations with IT firms, or discussions with key department heads, you should have a deep understanding of each stakeholders interests and current situation. Again, never base decisions on assumptions. Do your homework and come prepared. Conduct intensive factfinding sessions with each group to find out where they currently stand on a variety of issues. Coming to a negotiation well informed trumps your people skills any day. 3. Deal with the real power holders. Lets say your tech people are having trouble communicating and cooperating with your financial people. Think carefully about who the true decision makers in this scenario are. Whom you negotiate with will depend on the problem, but make certain that you are negotiating with the real power brokers and not with blockerspeople who try to keep you from the real decision makers. These people may even consider blocking part of their job description. Do show blockers respect, however, as you find a way to get around them. It is a waste of everyones time to negotiate with blockers. 4. Identify all problems you see holding back a successful arrangement. Before you go into a negotiation, you should have a clear idea of what might stop or keep you from a successful solution. State those problems clearly at the outset of your talks and ask the stakeholder how these problems might be solved. Get stakeholders talking, while you listen. Their answers to these questions will provide critical information that will be of strategic importance to you as you proceed. 5. Keep your mouth shut. Every step of the way, its critical to be fully present in the moment, almost a zenlike state. Remain open to innuendos, the other partys emotions, and listen carefully to everything that is said. Each time you ask a question, it should be built on facts that have been disclosed, never on opinions, needs, or hunches. Keep quiet as much as possible and take thorough notes. You will be amazed at how much better you listen when you record rather than speak. 6. Clarify all questions with interrogative-led questions. When an upper-level executive asks you which departments you believe might prove resistant to his

new initiative, respond with your own question, and be sure to compliment him in the process. Ask interrogative-led questionswho, what, when, where, why, and howto get him talking and revealing more facts to you. For example, you might say, Thats a great question, Bill. What types of obstacles do you feel are most problematic to our people as they decide whether to come on-board with your proposal? In one fell swoop, youve put the executive at ease, youre directed the dialogue, and youve gotten him to fill in much needed details that will help you explore the issues more thoroughly. 7. Have a valid M&P. Never enter into a negotiation with any of your stakeholder groups without a valid mission and purpose, an M&P that is set in the stakeholders world, one thats based on the stakeholders needs, requirements, hopes, fears, and plans. Because every decision you make along the way has to fulfill this M&P, it will handle any contingency that comes up during the negotiation, and will not fail to give you a good outcome. For example, your M&P might be: to create a prosperous and secure future for the stakeholder by keeping the company competitive. 8. Never begin negotiations by offering a compromise. Also, never ask your respected colleague to say yes. If you start with a yes agreement, theres nowhere to go from there. Instead, start by inviting them to say no. Tell them you are comfortable with a no answer and you want them to be comfortable to say no. Tell them that you will take no as an honest decision that can be discussed and perhaps reversed during the course of your talks. If your opponent asks you to tell him or her what you want, resist the urge to answer. You need to get the other party talking and revealing and spilling the beans. 9. Do not try to be friends. The stakeholders involved in daily HR negotiations are not your friends; they are respected colleagues. Trying to be friends is one of the ways we let neediness slip into the process. Neediness is an emotion; keep emotions out of the equation. The purpose of this negotiation is to reach a respectful and fair solution that accomplishes your mission and purpose, which will be in your respected opponents interest as well. 10. Never think about closing. Whether its budget reallocations for the next fiscal year or a new labor contract, do not think about, hope for, or plan for the outcome of the deal. Focus instead on what you can control: your behavior and activity during the negotiation. The second you focus on closing, the deal is dead because youve let your emotions into the negotiation.