live in the Holy Spirit Mariko gave me a video to watch: here. She calls him her 'mentor'..

She obviously thot i would benefit from watching his videos.. Of course i benefited. But perhaps not in the ways she intended.. As most 'advisors' go, he's a bit patronizing and condescending simply in his position. Every 'guru' seems to want to 'teach' us some 'hidden mystery'. But you really only need One. The Holy Spirit. When you let God be your guide, you don't really need any human mentor. i could end the article there but need to 'flesh it out' a bit.. My mother lives in the Holy Spirit but she's Catholic and has a particular 'flavor' to her belief system.. It's filled with Jesus and Mother Mary etc etc bla bla ;) i 'may' sound disrespectful but.. i assure you, i recognize the 'high chief' when i see one.. Jesus is definitely The Master but all the hullabaloo we attach with Him is just plain silly. We glorify Jesus but i ASSURE/GUARANTEE you: Jesus never wanted that. i guarantee you: humility was Jesus' prime value. What that means is: Jesus never thought of himself as God. And if He did, it was as a child of God which we ALL are. Get it? ..Now, Mariko sending me her mentor's videos only says one thing: Sam, I think you need these videos. But do i really? i'm not Mariko. i'm not Japanese. i'll never really understand what it is to be Japanese nor will she ever understand what it is to be American. We can both try but we'll never truly know. There are at least two ways to look at these differences: a thing to divide us / keep us apart or a thing of beauty. My father loved to look at men and women (our differences) as a Wonderous thing. :) And i agree with him. :) Our differences make us unique. Our differences allow us to appreciate our differences as a thing of beauty. Our differences intrigue us. It's when we insist our differences make our relationships irreconcilable we 'get into trouble'. i'll give you a perfect example: my oldest brother and me. He believes i should be 'put away' (yes, in a mental hospital). i believe he's wrong. We have directly opposing belief systems. So what can we do? We're brothers! :) He has voluntarily excommunicated himself from our family in 'protest' of mom 'siding' with me and my ex in this whole insane drama. ^^ It's pretty pathetic.. The whole situation.. At this point, all i can do is pray for him.. What does this have to do with Mariko and the Holy Spirit? Mariko keeps insisting i focus too much on Satan.. i let her know, in no uncertain terms, i'd rather blame Satan than my older brothers for them attempting/allowing sexually molesting me as a child. If i blame them, i would hold resentment for them that's something i cannot live with. i cannot love somebody and resent them at the same time. As i've said repeatedly, i'd much rather blame Satan than my brothers for their behavior toward me. Now of course, they had CHOICES and they CHOSE to give in to their negative/abusive desires relating to me. Acknowledging Satan's role in all this does not liberate them from responsibility. It simply shifts the blame for the inspiration for the evil acts. Not the acts themselves nor the choices associated with them. So.. Of course i both love and forgive my brothers.. And of course i forgive Mariko for her constant

misunderstanding of me, my letters to her, my articles, and her constant patronizing attitude toward me. For God's sake, she Japanese and i'm American how can we ever truly understand each other? [haha] By living in the Holy Spirit that's how. ;) When we live in the Holy Spirit, we give up our egos, our agendas, our circumstances, our situations, BUT EXPLICITLY NOT OUR BELIEF SYSTEMS,.. and replace all that with the Holy Spirit. Boom. Simple as that .. We don't need mentors, we don't need pastors, we don't need counselors, we don't need advisors,.. ALL WE NEED IS THE HOLY SPIRIT. It's sorta 'funny' how Mariko has read so many of my articles and personal letters to her but still does not seem to 'get it'. :( She's so passionate about me 'giving up Satan' (forget about Satan, thinking about him only attracts him, Satan does not really exist, he's a convenient human label for human evils,..) All that really tells me is Satan is manipulating Mariko too (in addition to my brothers). Now if that sounds like 'insane paranoia', live in my shoes for 40 years.. Then you 'may' get it.. Satan has been fighting with me ever since grandma whispered in my ear 'the secret of life' which she later told me: God is LOVE. What more beautiful sentiment to tell a child? But.. She could never know that would make me a target for Satan the rest of my life.. (Since i was three years old.) Wow. What a 'trip'; what a ride.. i love you grandma. i love all of you. :) One of my last letters to Mariko was about optimism. (Yes, a form of 'insane' optimism.) i firmly believe in my 'heart of hearts' there WILL be a better tomorrow. If not tomorrow, then then the next day. If not that day, then the next.. Whatever the case, there will come a better day. i KNOW this for a FACT. THAT is living in the Holy Spirit. ..This essay is for everyone but dedicated to: Kaylie, Kristie, Megan, and of course.. Mariko. Never give up on our love.