Isha: hi di Archana Naphade: http://10.4.14.53:8080 .... join phaast 0.0 Isha: u thr?

Archana: hii yeah happy holi :) Isha: happy holi u busy? Archana: naah m there tell :) Isha: just wanted to talk i've tried so many things i thought lets talk to a senior abt it Archana: sure.. :) Isha: i dont quite know what the matter is with me Archana: means ? what is wrong ? Isha: i've been morose and sad for quite a long time now i dont talk to ppl i dont try out new activities in fact i've withdrawn from everything i used to do be4 everywhr i go i have this fear in the back of my mind that i might offend someone with my presence i've become an introvert Archana: hmmm Isha: always thinking negative Archana: is this after u and arvind incidence ? or anything else happened ? Isha: actually when i say for quite long i mean nearly since january since all this started i want to look past it but its like it keeps haunting me every time i try to enjoy smt i feel guilty and afraid and end up chickening out Archana: hmm... series of events responsible ?? Isha: probably the worst thing is Archana: jaise kya kya ?? Isha: i used to write about watever i'm feeling bad abt in short articles tht used to help me blow off my steam but now its like i cant even write its just empty so hollow Archana: dont suppress if u dont like something Isha: i have a continuous head ache since a month Archana: and i think ur attitude is what makes all the difference... :) have a positive attitude good things will happen with u :) sometimes things get screwed up... but taali kabhi ek haath se nhai bajti :P and every one can take an initative to finish a problem Isha: u mean about arvind bhaiya? Archana: just because u r involved ... doesnt mean that u r a cause about anything

if u dont like socializing... means definitely u had a some bad social experiences Isha: that i'm really sorry about but i doubt he wud want to see my face after what happened i wudnt forgive me y wud he anyways thts just one of the problems Archana: m saying generally .. Isha: uh-huh Archana: trying ur best to maintain relations.. but not at the cost of ur mental peace if u dont like something.. dont do if u like... always go ahead dont make people make ur decisions basically dont be conscious :) are we on track ?? der ? u der isha ?? Isha: ya Archana: what happened ?? Isha: nothing Archana: one side conversation mi8 not be good for my health ;) Isha: just mulling over things sorry Archana: haha dont be sad... Isha: i'm like a dead person these days ghost on the campus Archana: go out na then to roam then somewhere nice Isha: it takes extraneous money, time and effort Archana: with some nice friends Isha: all of which are far too imp to be spent thus i dont have any frnds not on campus not outside only mom nd dad nd bro nd they're not here Archana: why do u say like that ?? Isha: because that is the truth everything here all relationships are composed of thin fabric Archana: when people dont match to ur expectations .. just lower them :) u will find urself definitely surrounded by more people Isha: how can you believe in that kind of stuff so fixedly? people just pretend Archana: becoz i agree with you Isha: they just pretend to be ur frnds Archana: no one on this campus is ur friend Isha: first sign of adversity nd ur alone u dont get indivisual frnds Archana: infact this campus is not meant for having friends Isha: u get bunches one wrong thing happens it spreads like wildfire guys who like to backstab Archana: why to trust people to backstab ?? :|

such people are not worth calling friends Isha: is thr anyone trustworthy? Archana: yes u just need to know who and how much to trust Isha: thr shud be atleast someone who u dont have to think abt when u do smt at least on e person whose reaction whose censure u dont fear Archana: dont expect such company on campus atleast :) Isha: everything is based on a give-n-take basis Archana: even later in professional life.. such friends are next to impossible yea i get ur plight but yeh aisa hi hai :| even i have realised it hard way.. but jitne jaldi samjho - utna accha :) Isha: that means whatever they say Archana: we all need to fight for own interest Isha: all the big speeches all come down to a bunch of liea lies* how Archana: not everywhere Isha: traumatising Archana: but in this campus - yes there is no friends no enemies matlab hi dost hai sabka Isha: then what do u stay happy for? what motivates u to get up every morning Archana: i stay happy because i dont expect anything for anyone Isha: and go about the day looking forward to smt? Archana: m responsible for anything bad happening to me even if it is emotional always remember that you are the protector of ur mind too :| people are sadist sometimes they find pleasure in getting u on grounds ... but know ur ability and fight for it in ur own way this doesnt mean in indivisual level Isha: one more thing..this might help to put my mind at ease..i've never talked abt it..policy of our house-anything bad happens don't talk abt it..simply keep doing ur work..guess it wont work any longer so i wanted to ask u about bhaiya..since ur closest to him he's one of the ppl who i have hurt and i wont be easy unless i know that door is closed how bad did he take the thing? Archana: he was very hurt Isha: i never aksed anyone for fear of bad-mouthing so plz dont tell him too Archana: yea Isha: or anyone for tht matter Archana: yep Isha: ya so Archana: he was hurt first and then very angry sorry bolne me kuch galat nahi... lekin u know him Isha: he wont talk to me i know tht nd he wont apologise for wat he did too

which wasnt very nice Archana: yeah but whatever it was Isha: i hate having to ignore anyone Archana: it was ur rsponsinbility ki baat itni na badhe Isha: true Archana: it was his mistake too... Isha: i begged my own brother but i'm a non-entity when it comes to decision making in our house Archana: but it was much greater on uur part to take it to home and allow it to get till ur brother calling him and on top of that saying what all he said but... Isha: uneccessarily baat bad gayi Archana: like a friend i wud like to say.. koi baat nahi SHIT happens Isha: chalo i guess its not possible to revert and become frnds again Archana: u might also but it is fresh right now Isha: its not like he's a family memeber who'll say koi nahin puttar galti ho gayi Archana: so ched mat is waqt yeah Isha: its fresh? as in he still talks abt it? is he still upset? Archana: i mean hardly two month gne he dont talk abt it Isha: does he waste time thinking abt it? Archana: but u dont forget such things so easily right Isha: o god ya Archana: once he is busy in other than dept ... then may be it wud lighten but otherwise too.. u dont wait for it u didnt do it on pupose :| Isha: di ek baat batao Archana: jab sahi waqt aaye... tab mana lena Isha: how do i come to temrs with the fact tht i have to ignore someone on campus ? Archana: abhi man me rakhkar bura mat mano Isha: he's not the only person i'm ignoring btw i've never been very good at ignoring someone it weighs down on my mind how do i do it? Archana: i think.. ignoring is what u call 'running' from the situation :| why to ignore somebody ? Isha: sometimes its not possible to go talk to them as u know Archana: u might not prefer saying hi all the time when u see that person.. but that isnt something u must be guilty of someone irritates u... means he irritates you :| ignoring isnt solution just face it Isha: talking is? Archana: express in a decent way when he/she does something u dont agree Isha: ok Archana: and if he/she still persists on same thing then dont get into discussion and spoil ur head :|

express ur opinion and get aside Isha: ya that actually makes sense true Archana: this might make a current impression that u r rude but this is what u call respecting others and ur own opinions :| Isha: hm Archana: say hi... talk to them still nice.. avoid topics that lead diputes Isha: ok Archana: and strictly dont allow them too to get into it u will get distanced from them... but it is definitely better than ignoring and building up guilt inside right ? Isha: probably what i shud've done in the first place with bhai too Archana: yes Isha: i'll keep it in mind Archana: when relationships start becoming burden... lighten the weight :) no one is wrong its just that we forget respecting each others opinions... Isha: probably Archana: sometimes others opinions.. nd sometimes our own too :) Isha: true Archana: so dont ignore :P face it :) Isha: u know that day during waves when we both got yelled at and were ooutside the hostelt ill 3 talking on the bench outside ur hostel remember? Archana: yeah Isha: i mean u got yelled at nd i started bawling like an idiot Archana: lol yeah :D Isha: ya tht day i shud've listened to u more carefully u rememebr u told me abt ankit ajin tht day jain* Archana: yeah Isha: abt how u cut off completely from him after he asked u out Archana: yeah Isha: well if had emulated that and not tried to be accomodating instead of taking the good old route none of this wud ever have happeend its like tht stupid new movie ek main aur ek tu story right out of my life Archana: haha that case was different yaar he is not even my friend and he wasnt understanding when i told him once thats y i had to block him but i have such other cases also and i never blocked them u know why ?? because whatever they feel for me... they are my good friends Isha: ya but once such a thing happens it is only logical to stop communication for a while till such feelings are dealt with completely and thouroughly Archana: not talking might hurt them definitely... Isha: it is not about being modern or accomodating Archana: but will hurt me too Isha: it is abt good old logic true

Archana: so try facing instead of running and i just blocked him on gtalk becoz he used to eat my head :D Isha: lol Archana: i never stopped talking to him outside Isha: ya bhaiya can get obsessive o Archana: i always waved at him... whenever i saw him he knew i blocked him basically i gave him the taste of ' I WANT TO BE ONLY FRIENDS ... AND YOU BETTER UNDERSTAND THAT WITHOUT EATING MY HEAD ' :D Isha: :) Archana: and we talk today.. joke today.. Isha: long time since i smiled Archana: i know his failure love stories.. :D Isha: lol tht toh i also know Archana: LOL oops that is general knowledge :D Isha: he told me within two hrs of getting to know me Archana: i forgot Isha: ya Archana: haha Isha: he's one of the 'nice' bhaiyas i have anyways Archana: everyone is good only from a distance :D just know what is the measure of that distance ;) u will definitely make sweetest memories Isha: if i continue this conversation for any longer i will sink back into depression ..i shall enjoy few minutes in my new-found bliss Archana: ohoo cool Isha: satyavachan Archana: :D tq tq Isha: its nice to know tht i have a chance of talking to arvind bhaiya at least in 2020 Archana: yeaah Isha: or maybe in 2040 Archana: never lose hopes !! :D Isha: maybe i'll have an accidnet sometime in 2020 and he'll come visit me in the hospital Archana: hm Isha: then i'll be on my death bed and i'll say weakly Archana: then u better get accidented in pune Isha: with barely enough strength to talk Archana: arvind ji wants to settle in pune only :D Isha: "bhaiya, i'm really sorry forgive me"

Archana: no need of so much drama yaar Isha: his eyes will well up with tears that he dried years ago Archana: milkar bas hi keh dena :) he will pakka reply Isha: tears that hadnt surfaced for a long long time until now nd he'll say "its ok baby. U die peacefully. Ur still my kiddo" Archana: LOL Isha: nd i'll hold his finger Archana: thats doubtful though :P Isha: and ur finger y? Archana: bahut saal baad milkar if he says like this to u ... his wife might leave him :D Isha: very funny di Archana: haha Isha: aap bhi na i'm in flow over here let me finish so i'll hold his finger, ur finger close my eyes Archana: listen.. kal 6 baje i need to attend a pooja Isha: and in that tiny hospital room Archana: in a faculties hhouse so need to sleep Isha: will end a story of strife, struggle, faith and forgiveness Archana: u dream something other than getting accidented :P Isha: o right srry :D thnx di Archana: and for that u also need to sleep :D Isha: i have started writing a bit Archana: welcome Isha: i have to continue writing Archana: hmm Isha: u go sleep Archana: :) Isha: i shall write Archana: :gn Isha: night Archana: yes