FSM

Steven Edward Markham

August Order of Light Garuda Temple No.1 - 7th December 2008

In 2004, The Kansas State Board of Education voted to make the teaching of Intelligent Design a requirement for schools in the state. This caused outrage amongst a large section of the public, religious and non-religious alike, as the intention was to teach the subject as a Science rather than a religious subject and to give it equal status to Evolution. Intelligent Design purports the idea of a creative intelligence actively modifying the design of living organisms and thus creating the variation that can be observed throughout the Plant and Animal kingdoms. It avoids the prohibition of Creationism being taught as a Science by offering no specification of the form of the creative designer. This leaves open the possibility that any imagined entity could fill this role. In January 2005, The Kansas State Board of Education received an open letter from Bobby Henderson, a concerned citizen, stating his concern that only one theory of Intelligent Design would be taught. Henderson outlined his own belief that the universe was created by a Flying Spaghetti Monster and that the overwhelming scientific evidence pointing towards evolutionary processes is nothing but a coincidence, put in place by Him. Furthermore, every time a Scientist makes a measurement to provide evidence that may support Scientific theories relating to the age of the earth, such as Carbon Dating samples, that He is there and adjusting the result with His Noodly Appendage. Henderson claimed that he and his fellow Pastafarians were in excess of 10 million followers. In the same letter, Henderson stated that it would be disrespectful to teach the theory without wearing His chosen outfit which is full Pirate Regalia. This was described as an essential part of Pastafarianism with the explanation that He becomes angry if it is not done.

Henderson also, rather helpfully, pointed out that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters were a direct effect of the shrinking numbers of Pirates since the 1800s. He included a helpful graph to show how this data correlated.

He concluded by demanding that the schools teach One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence. Henderson received no reply from the Board until he posted the letter on his website, generating significant interest. His satirical protest, like its Deity, took off and captured the imaginations of many. It has become regarded as an emblem somewhat similar to Bertrand Russells orbiting teapot and also used by atheists and agnostics (referred to as Spagnostics by Pastafarians) as a counter to religious arguments i.e. the requirement to prove that something does not exist being submitted as proof of existence in itself. Henderson himself has stated that he personally has no problem with religion but rather religion posing as science. He has also added that If there is a god and he's intelligent, then I would guess he has a sense of humour." Since the original letter, the following of the Flying Spaghetti Monster has grown to such a level that much detail has been added to Hendersons original letter and even a Gospel produced outlining the core beliefs of Pastafarians.

The Gospel reveals how the Universe was created by the invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster who had been drinking heavily at the time. The subsequent flaws in the earth were due to His drunken state at the time. Evidence for evolution was planted in an effort to test the faith of Pastafarians and any subsequent experiments which seem to show such evidence have been invisibly altered by His Noodly Appendage. Important to the belief is the divine quality of Pirates, as they were the original Pastafarians, peace loving travellers fond of giving sweets to children. The subsequent labeling of pirates as rogues and thieves is described as being due to misinformation spread by Christians and Hare Krishna followers. Pastafarians observe Talk like a Pirate Day on the 19th September where Robert Newton-inspired pirate vocals are heard throughout the world. Heaven, to a Pastafarian, contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory. Hell is rather similar but the beer is stale, and the strippers all have VD. Last Christmas, in Green Bay, Wisconsin, city officials installed a Christian Nativity scene on top of a public building. Drama ensued when the council refused to allow displays from other religions, most notably a Flying Spaghetti Monster display. The proposal, sent in by Henderson was rejected as silly. Henderson responded Im sure most of us Pastafarians are not offended by Jesus displays. I assume that most Christians would enjoy a festive Pastafarian display. If were going to allow one religious display, why not allow them all? Whats the problem? Who doesnt like pirates and strippers?. The City of Green Bay is currently being sued by the Freedom from Religion Foundation on the basis that a display depicting the birth of Jesus on a public building violates the Constitution as a governmental endorsement of religion. The original inclusion of Pirates and the graph depicting their decline in relation to Natural and manmade disasters had a serious point, however; It was intended as a warning against the non-Scientific interpretation of correlating data and inferring causation from unconnected streams of similar data.

The church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster continues to grow and has been embraced in popular culture as well as being used to put forward important scientific and philosophical concepts. It also raises the question of whether an anti-religion, which consists of a community of followers with practiced rituals and shared core beliefs, albeit not serious theological beliefs, may actually constitute a religion in its own right.

I will close with a quote from the Prophet, Bobby Henderson: We believe that humans evolved from pirates. Consider that humans share around 95% DNA with monkeys, and more than 99.9% DNA with pirates.

References:
http://www.venganza.org, Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster Henderson, Bobby (2005), "Open Letter To Kansas School Board" Henderson, Bobby (2006), The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, Villard Books Dawkins, Richard (2006). The God Delusion, Houghton-Mifflin