3149 EAGLE DRIVE FORT COLLINS, CO 80526 PHONE 419-612-6702 SALRAMSEY@GMAIL.

COM

SETH RAMSEY
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS

Adapts quickly to new atmospheric pressures I can speak Russianin Chinese Ultra-calm demeanour when unconscious Capable of slamming revolving doors Played Twister across the Afar Triangle & swam the Bolton Strids length, upstream Sharks have a week dedicated to me

At museums Im allowed to touch the art

WORK EXPERIENCE

1995 2010 Hokkaido, Japan

Sushi Tanabe

Studied competitive origami, downhill sushi fabrication, Japanese Braille calligraphy, and zero-gravity sak fermentation with JAXA. I mastered the obscure, rural-Hokkaido dialect of Japanese in 6 days. The locals held a council to deify me, however, I respectfully declined citing ethics violations I once exceeded the speed of light while defending the Kuril Islands territorial claim put fourth by the Prince of Lichtenstein.

1988 1993 Uepi, Soloman Islands Defensive Diving Tour Guide

South Pacific Adventure Divers

Frequently fought off reef, tiger, and hammerhead sharks using only my dive knife and a stream of bubbles from my regulator. Faced the salt spray of the high seas as well as unknowns of the deep on a daily basis. For exercise, I would frequently swim back to one of the islands after having signalled the dive boat to leave before I surfaced. Dolphins looked to me often for assistance when they got tired.

1945 1968 Pawnee, IN Assistant Deputy Director

Department of Parks & Recreation

Exuded optimistic enthusiasm for public projects and epitomized a public servant in thought and deed. Once the mayor asked me to remove a potentially rabid opossum from the public golf course, which I did barehanded. On another occasion I rectified the citys budget deficit with a senior citizens auction; pensions payments are now $0 per annum.

1612 1776 (Western calendar) Thimphu, Bhutan Meditation Guru: Senior Ru

Changlingmethang Zangdok Pelri Temple

Consulted the Dalai Lama when he was feeling stressed out. He is preferential towards ocean sounds and shiatsu back massages. Learned to control my heart rate &

breathing; my personal best was one beat during the New Moon lunar phase of 1648.

EDUCATION

1993-1995 Marine Institute of Locomotion Saint Helena British Overseas Territory Instructed humpback whales on alternative swim techniques. Subspecialty: song composition 1814-1916 Headmaster at the Universit Franaise Royale Paris, France Personal tutor to Louis XVI & Louis XVIII. Also, I arrived at a viable anthrax vaccine prior to Louis Pasteurs claim & patent application. [undefined] a universe outside known reality p s qu un sun sn nnuuo ds u o pdd s uno[un] s o sus nunb uns n o qd o d ss-o ps & 'pnsuo 'pusp nssns I

SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS Adapts quickly to new situations Energetic personality, Self-motivated, & Innovative thinker Ultra-calm demeanour under stressful circumstances prudent, decisive decision maker Capable of expressing myself well in both written & spoken formats: Deals well with people MicroSoft Office software Suite used frequently in academic work on both PCs & Macs Typing skills: 70 wpm QWERTY plus 10-key familiarity Languages: English, German, Spanish

WORK EXPERIENCE

June 2011 present Northern CO Telecommunications Installer

Alamon Telco & Monkal Inc

Installed various Adtran, Alcatel, Cisco, DataComm & Fujitsu equipment within Qwest/CenturyLink Central Offices throughout Northern Colorado & Helena, Montana. In addition to working continuously with a 2-5 person team, I gained experience & proficiency reading specification sheets (DWPs), running both power and switchboard cable, terminating both power and switchboard cable, and tying a variety of knots & stitches.

Summer 2004 Ashland, OH

Abbott Laboratories/Hospira Inc

Raw Materials Sampler Extracted raw material samples using appropriate tools/instruments, released raw material for production (documentation at the production plant and initialled & dated stickers at warehouse), worked closely with laboratory personnel as well as expensive/dangerous/flammable materials, trained on several laboratory-testing procedures (e.g. static frictional coefficient on plasma-coated stoppers & proper hazardous chemical storage and disposal), and managed individual workload. Continuously used safety equipment such as eyeglasses, inner/outer ear protection, numerous types of gloves, crush-resistant & close-toed footwear. Continued cGMP, SOP, & FDA compliance procedural training.

Summer 2003 Ashland, OH

Abbott Laboratories

Injected Molding Production Inspected product for defects and took periodic samples for QA (Quality Assurance), packaged product for shipping, became familiar with cGMP (continued Good Manufacturing Processes), SOPs (Standard Operating Procedures), & FDA (Food and Drug Administration) compliance procedural training. Followed strict paperwork procedures (e.g. black ink only, single line strike through of mistakes and initial & date mistakes, etc). EDUCATION 6/2009 National Academies of Emergency Dispatch Loveland, CO Certified Advanced Emergency Medical Dispatcher 6/2009 American Red Cross: Front Fort Collins, CO CPR for the Professional Rescuer 5/2008 Oxford, OH Graduated

Range

Response

Miami

University

Double Major: International Studies & German 9/2006-7/2007 Junior Year in Munich Study Abroad Germany 6/2003 Graduated Loudonville Loudonville, OH Eagle Scout 12/11/02

Munich, High School