Ruthie Schorr Anthony Borrero English 1102 04/22/12

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:37 AM

Caught In The Middle To the Editors at Random House: I am an 18-year-old American Jewish young woman who sees a close connection with young women who survived the holocaust and made a new life in the U.S. I have written a historically based story of what I believe could well have happened, a story that is sure to

Comment: There are many things I was looking to edit and continue to fix in this essay and cover letter: -Overall flow -Basic grammar -Introduction and Conclusion -Sentence Structure -Including of Information

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:41 AM

Comment: New Title to paper

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:41 AM

Comment: To the Editors at Random House:

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captivate readers like me and many others. It is a story of survival, luck, history and courage. The story I have created here is one told from an angle I feel as though many other holocaust stories do not tell. I want to tell this story to give a different insight into what children faced before and after world war two, and show how some even were able to overcome the obstacles of being subjected to war and move on with their lives. Telling the story of my main character Rebecca from her normal everyday life, all the way until being sent to Buchenwald, through its liberation, and to her transition back into a second chance at a normal life. This story is thrilling and opens ones eyes into the very trials and challenges that the Jewish people, and especially children faced during this time period in Germany. The main event that I created this story around is the liberation of Buchenwald by the US soldiers at the end of World War II. The official time that has been established as the liberating time of the camp was 3:15 p.m. on April 11, 1945, the time that the clock tower was

Comment: Changed to: I am an 18-year-old American Jewish young woman who sees a close connection with young women who survived the holocaust and made a new life in the U.S. I have written a historically-based story of what I believe could well have happened, a story that is sure to captivate readers like me and many others. It is a story of survival, luck, history and courage.

permanently stopped at. Over the short period of time before that the US soldiers were making efforts to help save and free as many prisoners as they could from within the camp many different things were taking place. There were air raids from US soldiers on the camp that actually left many casualties including many prisoners, which was not the goal, but also established their presence and dominance of force. They also slowly started to cut of many resources to the camp so the SS (Nazi soldiers) were forced to go into a frantic state. Then finally over running the camp forcing soldiers to flee or be killed and many prisoners to be freed. There were many different types of stories that came out of those who were captured in the Buchenwald concentration camp. That of those who lost loved ones, were killed, were permanently lost because of things they experienced, and then the very few but also important
Ruthie Schorr 4/24/12 12:01 AM

stories like that of survival and second chances like that of Rebecca. I see my book having wide appeal for my age group as well as our professors and also older people who vividly remember World War II. Professors may find this type of novel interesting because it is a historically correct book representing these points from World War II but having a nice angle and different perspective than most books we read in school opening the door for a different way to look at World War II. College students may find this book interesting because it is more of a story then just a list of facts like a normal textbook would present. Older people may find this book interesting, as well, because the last generation of people who lived through World War II are getting very old now. This may be interesting for them to see a different angle on an earlier time they knew well. From 1939 until 1945 World War II ravaged Europe as the Nazi war machine conquered countries and brutally sought to annihilate specific groups. Political prisoners, gypsies, disabled people, and Jews were arrested and shipped in cattle cars off to several camps where they were subjected to forced

Comment: Added in hopes of clearing up the plot and ideas, as well as the development behind what my stories purpose and ideas are.

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:48 AM

Comment: Changed to I see my book having wide appeal for my age group as well as our professors and also older people who vividly remember World War II

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:49 AM

Comment: Grammar-Capitalization

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:49 AM

Comment: Deletion of that of businessman statement, does not fit in at a good place and throws of flow with its only mediocre reasoning

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:53 AM

Comment: Grammar

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:57 AM

Comment: New sentence and structure, organization

labor and often, systematic killing. (Buchenwald 1) Children were among those sent to the camps and many were killed. However, some survived, often by being hidden away by adult prisoners. Eleven-year-old Rebecca Friedman was one of the lucky ones in that she was not killed before the American soldiers liberated the camp on April 11, 1945. (Abzug 1) However, she suffered tremendously as both her parents were gassed in the systematic killing of Jews at the camp. Earlier her mother had been subjected to medical experiments. When liberated, Rebecca was among the walking dead, emaciated and in deep depression. (Scrapbookpages 1)This is the beginning of our story. Fortunately, Rebecca eventually found a new life in America, but the road from the horrors of Buchenwald to a life as a wife and eventually a grandmother in San Francisco was filled with twists and turns. Her first challenge was her health. She was fighting cholera and scurvy. Rebecca was fortunate that an American Jewish soldier, Ralph Yules, made her his project. Although there were some problems along the way Rebecca really found a way with this family to overcome all the things what this war had done to her. Just like many other people who had gone through some of the same traumatic experiences as her, Rebecca struggled with finding a normal way of life and a way past all the things and horror she had faced. Ralphs caring was a key factor in her survival after liberation. Rebeccas life-long relationship with Ralph and his family was a shining example of how love repaired the wounds of war. The people I have described as my audience all have many things in common. Some being; all searching for history, striving to understand this war, and to find an interesting story that seems untold. This book offers all of these things. By providing a good background to World War II and the concentration camps my story sets the stage for an unforgettable. By giving a play by play of the liberation it shows a positive aspect of what was happing during
Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 11:59 AM
Comment: Changed to along the way, grammar correction

Ruthie Schorr 4/19/12 12:02 PM

Comment: Sentence structure and organization

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Comment: Ralph not his

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Comment: Sentence flow and grammar

Ruthie Schorr 4/23/12 1:43 PM

Comment: In common: some searching for history, striving to understand war and to find an interesting, untold story.

Ruthie Schorr 4/23/12 1:42 PM

Comment: By providing a good

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Comment: Changed to a stronger line with my story sets the stage for an unforgettable tale

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Comment: happening

this time of turmoil. On top of all of this it makes the story interesting by telling it from a completely different angle by telling it from the point of view of a child, and more specifically a Jewish child caught in the midst of war. This is a story many people have not heard. The most well known story of a child caught in war that is well known is The Diary of Anne Frank, although besides that there doesnt seem to be many stories that are well known that tell this story quite that way. I feel as though this book sets the same tone and has a similar writing style as that of Anne frank, although tells a completely separate story as well as gives us a different look into what the before and after effects of war on a child really were, which Anne frank does not do. My story is different in that my main character survives and goes on to a full life. Perhaps it answers the question what Anne Franks life could have possibly been if she had gone on to have a life after the holocaust. I hope after hearing all of these ideas my story line is clear to you. I hope that you consider helping me make these ideas a reality. This is a story that needs to be told and would be enjoyed by many. Rebeccas story is a amazing, unbelievable, and heart filled story that is

Ruthie Schorr 4/23/12 1:40 PM

Comment: What is especially compelling is telling the story from a different angle: the point of view of a child

Ruthie Schorr 4/23/12 1:40 PM

Comment: Of course, the best known story of a child caught in war is The Diary of Anne Frank. My story is different in that my main character survives and goes on to a full life. Perhaps it answers the question of what Anne Frank;s life could have been like if she had been liberated.

Ruthie Schorr 4/23/12 1:52 PM

different from any other.

Comment: Completely new conclusion

Work Cited Abzug, R. H.. "Liberation of Nazi camps." United States Holocausst Museum. United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, 2011. Web. 12 Feb 2012. <http://www.ushmm.org/wlc/en/article.php?ModuleId=10005131> Buchenwald." United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, 2011. Web. 12 Feb 2012.<http://www.ushmm.org/wlc/en/article.php?ModuleId=10005198> "Scrapbookpages." Liberation of Buchenwald Concentration Camp. N.p., 2008. Web. 12 Feb 2012. <http://www.scrapbookpages.com/buchenwald/Liberation0.html>