Focal Event Introduction Personal change is a reflection of our inner growth and empowerment." Robert E.

. Quinn Personal change can occur at an intellectual and emotional level and can be described by processes or stages. By monitoring these changes, one can pin point exactly where they are, what they have achieved and also how they plan to move forward. The individual change process consists of five stages as seen below that culminates into the internalization of change from which personal growth can be achieved. Scenario The scenario commences with a relationship between a young man and the author both successful in their respective fields, healthy and married. However infidelity upon the part of the man led to a swift decline of a once fruitful relationship. Eventually the relationship dwindled, the man moved on but the author could not. Negative Emotion The author whose personality is somewhat reminiscent of an external locus of control could not adapt to the sudden change. The transformation from being in a serious committed relationship to being single was overwhelming, causing resentment towards men to engross her. This proved detrimental towards the authors career as she was a Security equipment product specialist with 99 % of her daily interactions involving men be it co workers or customers. Even though the entire situation had changed as well as the environment around, the feelings of resentment could not. Focal Event Due to an impeccable past record a promotion to technical manager was issued by the managers unbeknownst to the present conditions. Instead of a smooth transition to the new role a kaleidoscope of feelings washed over the author: anger, disgust, hate and resentment because now responsibilities included supervising a team of 18 men. Avoidance behavior became prominent as it resulted in cancellation of meetings and site visits. 1

This hindrance became more and more noticeable to co-workers. The general lack of decorum and well as communication made the author extremely difficult to work with. Customers began complaining to the managers about quality of service, the technicians (co- workers) began avoiding the author and even family noticed a downward spiral. The last straw came when the divisional manager (a male) decided to hold a meeting.. He explained that the company was in awe as to how one of their best and brightest who in their mind was perceived as the best candidate was failing miserably. Further probing by the manager who was also a personal friend resulted in the author feeling shocked. The author had not realized the extremes to which previous behavioral patterns had been altered and the ripple effect it caused. The focal event acted as a rude awakening to the author. The Public Declaration of Intent Tears engulfed the author as the sordid love affair was recalled amidst sobs. The incident jolted a screen memory of all the hurt and resentment of the past being transferred into the present. By admitting this truth to the manager the author has gained acceptance of the issue and also sees the need to change both for oneself as well as the future of the authors career. By publicly admitting this fault to management the reasoning was deciphered as to the poor performance of the author as well as fellow co-workers. The Inner Journey The author realizing that functionality at work was nearly impossible due to all the personal changes being made a sabbatical was taken. The author arrived at the crystallization of discontent where it was surmised that the behavioral patterns exuded could be described as transference relationships whereby present actions were being significantly influenced by the past. A guidance counselor was sought during the sabbatical period that assisted the author through the emotional roller coaster. The interpersonal conflict affected the author subconsciously and it manifested itself through interactions at work and at home. The author gained self realization that the current mind frame was detrimental to ones lifestyle and was not conducive to change. Internalization of the change. The sabbatical offered the author the luxury to do some soul searching and realize what was important. Throughout the entire process the author bore the emotional burden alone excluding 2

not only the workforce but family as well. By changing this approach a support system was built. The managers at work understood this was a sensitive time for the author and that the sudden promotion could not yield a smooth transition, the family understood the authors dilemma and offered advice and support. The author learnt the pathway that leads to a resilient and joyful life is grounded in radical self-acceptance Conclusion The entire scenario upon reflection was an arduous and emotional time for the author. If given the opportunity to improve anything it would have been to inform the managers of the issue rather than let personal issues sidetrack performance in the workplace. The author also learnt how important it is to understand and accept ones fault in order to successfully understand and initiate any change.

Bibliography 1) Kets de Vries, M.F.R. 2011. Reflections on Groups and Organisations: On the Couch with Manfred Kets de Vries. England: Jossey- Bass Imprint.: Wiley Publishing. 2) Kets de Vries, M. F. R., Balazs K. 1999. Beyond the quick fix: The psychodynamics of organizational transformation and change. European Management Journal. Vol # 1. (Issue 5) Pages 611-622 3) Emmons H. 2011.Creating Pathways to Resilience: The Whole Person Change Process. Psychology Today. [online] Feb 6. Available at: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-chemistry-calm/201102/creatingpathways-resilience-the-whole-person-change-process [Accessed at 10 March 2012]