April 29, 2012 the fuckin newsletter This may be the only newsletter you motherfuckers will get

t so if you don't enjoy it than you are either illiterate, dumb, or fuckin' blind. I usually start off the season with some sort of cynical welcoming to the newcomers; however, I think I will mix things up this time. So here you go: Go fuck yourselves. I'd would feel remiss if I at least didn't offer a few tips and a bit of advice for the greenhorns: 1. Baylors only look intimidating... they are actually a bunch of shaved ape sweethearts... even Louis... with the exception of Peewee he rapes tigers... violently 2. Lance is a lost powder puff girl just trying to find his way home 3. If Nails cup checks you, that means you ARE misbehaving 4. No one has seen No-Necker eat anything except for children and Busch Light which he chews heartily 5. Rhino IS aiming for your face 6. Sleepy really is Santa Claus... be nice assholes 7. We are still wondering if Off Konstantly really beats off constantly 8. Body Snatching have recently gone from white to black... please be patient with the adjustment (uniforms... you fuckin racist) 9. Josh Oswald (a.k.a. Big Sexy) ate all of Sleepy's wings a few weeks ago... shocker 10. Hearthrobs used be contenders... now they buy roids from the Baylors testing doesn't start till mid-season 11. Purple Cobras changed their name to Girl Scouts because the uniforms were more comfortable 12. Hot Carl's tatoos are temporary and came free with press on nails 13. Tyler Khem is so small he can hide behind a ball, but he also wears a children's 16 in skinny jeans 14. Jugger-Where The Hell Is Everyone-nauts are back... kinda 15. The savages stole their logo from Sublime because they all might OD on refer... and Mark walks like a cat with half its whiskers shaved off yes that is a one leg joke (oops did I go too far?) 16. Speaking of Mark I saw him at Home Depot fashioning a new foot... the last one got termites. 17. Waffles is a veteran at takin' balls to the face... check out the Mother's Day Masacre on youtube 18. The more beers you feed the ref, the less he notices how much you are a filthy cheating whore 19. The rules change from week to week depending on Charlie's BAC 20. If you wanna piss and moan about policy and rules, then join the board and see what its like to deal with you assholes... amen fuck-o

Not so Highlights: none and I'm outta weed It really was a boring week. The most interesting shit I saw was in my toilet before I showed up huge. That sums it up. -the founder