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1.

COMPLETENESS

1. Provide all necessary information 2. Answer all questions asked 3. Give something extra, when desirable

2. CONCISENESS
1. Eliminate wordy expressions
1. Use single-word substitutes instead of phrases whenever possible without changing meaning. At this time Now For the reason of that Because, since Due to the fact that Because In due course Soon In the meantime Meanwhile In very few cases Seldom On the occasion of On For the purpose of For 2. Omit unnecessary expression. Please be advised that your admission statement was received. Your admission statement has been received. Allow me to say how helpful your response was. Your last response was helpful. 3. Replace wordy conventional statements with concise versions. Please find attached the list you requested. The list you requested is attached. Such refreshing comments are few and far between. Such refreshing comments are scarce. 4. Avoid overusing empty phrases. There are four rules that should be observed. Four rules should be observed. It was known by Mr. Smith that we must reduce inventory Mr. Smith knew we must reduce inventory. 5. Omit which and that clauses whenever possible. She bought desks that are of the executive type. She bought executivetype desks. The receipt that is enclosed documents your purchase The enclosed receipt documents your purchase. 6. Limit use of passive voice. The total balance due will be found on page 2 of this report The total balance due is on page 2 of this report. The policy was enforced by the committee. The committee enforced the policy.

2. Include only relevant material


Wordy We hereby wish to let you know that our company is pleased with the confidence you have reposed in us. Concise: We appreciate your confidence. Or we appreciate your trust on us. Wordy At this time I am writing to you to enclose an interview card, which has been post-paid, for the purpose of arranging a convenient time when we might get together for a personal interview. Concise: Please return the enclosed interview card to set up a convenient time for an interview. 3. Avoid unnecessary repetition

3. Avoid unnecessary repetition


Needless Repetition: One should know the basic fundamentals of clear writing As a matter of interest, I am interested in learning your procedures. Continue to utilize the old form until such time as the new form is available

Repetition Eliminated: One should know the basics of clear writing I am interested in learning your procedures. Start using the new form on Nov. 1 WORDY Will you ship us sometime, anytime during the month of October would be fine, or even November if you are rushed (November would suit us just as well, in fact a little bit better) 300 of the regular 3- by 15-inches blue felt armbands with white sewn letters in the center. Thank you in advance for sending these along to us by parcel post, and not express, as express is too expensive. CONCISE Please ship parcel post, before the end of November, 300 regular 3- by 15-inches blue felt armbands with white sewn letters in the center.

3. CONSIDERATION
1. Focus on You instead of I and We.
Using you does help project a you-attitude. But overuse can lead to a negative reaction. I / We-attitude: I am delighted to announce that we will be extending our hours to make shopping more convenient You-attitude: You will be able to shop evenings with the extended hours. We-attitude: Were sure you must be frustrated by the length of time it has taken to ship your books to Lahore. You-attitude: The books will be reaching Lahore within a week. I / We-attitude: We have been quite tolerant of your past-due account and must now demand payment. You-attitude: If you are to continue to enjoy the benefits of credit buying, you must clear your account now. Messages that use you can be insensitive in negative situation which can be avoided by employing the passive voice, making the receiver part of a group Depersonalizing the situation. Intensive: You failed to enclose your check in the envelope. Considerate: The check was not enclosed (passive voice) Considerate: The envelope we received did not have a check in it. (Depersonalized) Intensive: You are completely off base in your proposal Considerate: We have differing interpretations of the utility of the proposal (sender-oriented with acceptance of responsibility) Considerate: The proposed plan has three aspects that need clarification (Depersonalized)

2. Show audience benefit or interest in the receiver 3. Emphasize positive, pleasant facts
Positive words to which people react favorably are: Benefit, Cordial, Happy, Help, Generous, Loyal, Pleasure, Thanks and Thoughtful etc. Negative words that often arouse unfavorable reactions include: Strongly negative words - Mistake, Problem, Error, Damage, loss, Blame, complaint, failed, fault, negligence, regret, reject, trouble, unfair etc. Words that deny - no, do not, refuse and stop etc. Words whose sounds or meanings have unpleasant effects itch, grime, sloppy, sticky and bloody Negative Unpleasant It is impossible to open an account for you today We dont refund if the returned item is soiled and unsalable. Positive-Pleasant As soon as your signature card reaches us, we will gladly open an We refund when the returned item is clean and resalable.

4. CONCRETENESS
1. Include as much specific information as possible.
Abstract, Vague, General, Indefinite Eastern Europe is making progress in obtaining investment. He got a good score in his MBA Program. She is a fast typist. Students GMAT scores are higher Concrete, Precise In 2008 investments in Eastern Europe were about $600 million; today that figure has increased by 35%. His GPA in Fall 2010 was 3.92 on a four point scale. She types @ speed of 80 words/min. In 2009 the GMAT scores averaged 600; by 2010 they had risen to 610.

2. Put action in your verbs


Use active rather than passive verbs AS Active verbs help your sentence more Specific, Personal, Concise and Emphatic Specific: The dean decided is more explicit than A decision has been made. Personal: You will note is both personal and specific; It will be noted is impersonal. Concise: The passive requires more words and thus slows both writing and reading. Compare Figure shows with It is shown by the figures. Emphatic: Passive verbs dull action. Compare The students held a contest with A contest was held by the students.

3. Use vivid, image-building words


Among the devices you can use to make your messages forceful, vivid and specific are sensory appeals, comparisons, figurative language, concrete nouns and well-chosen adjectives and adverbs. Sensory Appeal: Concrete language often evokes a sensory response in people; it appeals to one or more of the five senses. Such language tends to be more descriptive than conventional business language. Example: Instead of saying It was hot in the factory, you might appeal to both sight and touch by saying Sweat trickled down the arms of the line workers Comparison: It can make an unclear idea clear or make an idea more vivid. Example: This is a long letter vs. This letter is three times as long as you said it would be. Example: Reports submitted this quarter were uninteresting vs. Too many simple sentences, too many simplistic ideas gave the impressions of the writing of a first-years student.

5. CLARITY
1. Choose precise, concrete and familiar words
Familiar For example Thats it About Pay Invoice Study, examine, check After, later, following Find out, Learn Unfamiliar/pretentious e.g. (L) "exemplum gratia i.e. (L) "id est circa (L) Remuneration statement for payment Peruse Subsequent Ascertain

This machine has a tendency to develop excessive and unpleasant audio symptoms when operating at elevated temperature VS. This machine tends to get noisy when it runs hot

Long word During the preceding year, the company was able to accelerate the productive operations. The president acceded to the proposition to nullify the contractual relationship Short word Last year the company was able to speed up operations The president agreed to break the contract. With the increased use of e-mail there is the tendency to be concise. IMO FAQ ASAP BTW FYI TTFN

2. Construct Effective Sentences and Paragraph


Important characteristics to consider in this regard are Length, Unity, Coherence and Emphasis. Generally short sentences are preferred. The suggested average sentence length should be about 17 to 20 words. Because variety in sentence length adds interests to writing, adopt a range of from 3 to 30 or more words. But when a sentence exceeds 40 words, try to rewrite it into more than one sentence. Also if all sentences are short (under 10 words), the result is primer-like (basic, start) language choppy and overly simple. Number of words 8 or less 11 14 17 21 25 29 Or more Readability Very easy Easy Fairly easy Standard Fairly difficult Difficult Very difficult

Unity means that you have one main idea, and any other ideas in the sentence must be closely related to it. Example: I like Sam, and Faisal Mosque is in Islamabad obviously is not a unified sentence. In a coherent sentence the words are correctly arranged so that the ideas clearly express the intended meaning. Place the modifier as close as possible to the word it is supposed to modify e.g.: Being an excellent lawyer, I am sure you can help us. Being an excellent lawyer, you can surely help us.

6. COURTESY
1. Be sincerely tactful, thoughtful, and appreciative
Be sincerely tactful and dont be abrupt or blunt as these negative traits are a common cause of discourtesy. Sometimes from negative personal attitudes Sometimes they stem from a mistaken idea of conciseness Sometimes from not knowing the culture of a country or even group of people Please send your cheque for the amount you owe (Tactless) By sending your cheque for Rs. 5,000, you will be able to maintain your good credit reputation (Tactful)

2. Use Expressions That Show Respect


No reader wants to receive messages that offend. Avoid irritating expressions and questionable humor. Omit Questionable Humor: Laughter to one person is disgust or anger for another, each of us have a different sense of humor. See the comparison between the following two notes. Offensive: Hey man, what is this I hear the good news? You sure pulled a fast one this past weekend and then didnt tell any of us about it. Give my regards to the little lady. And wish her the best; shell need it.

More Courteous: Warm congratulations on your wedding! Well, you certainly took us by surprise. In fact, just a few of us even suspected you were taking off to get married. But even though we didnt hear about it until later, we my wife and I wish you the best. Give our warm regards to your new partner.

3. Choose Nondiscriminatory Expression


Another requirement for courtesy is the use of nondiscriminatory language that reflects equal treatment of people regardless of gender, race, ethnic origin and physical features. Bias-free language avoids unethical, embarrassing blunders in language related to gender, race, ethnicity, age, and disability. Change: Please share this report with your supervisor. He will find it interesting. To: Please share this report with your supervisor, who will find it interesting. Change: When a customer needs service, it is his right to ask for it. To: A customer who needs service has the right to ask for it Good communicators make every effort to change biased language as: Replacing Businessman Chairman Man-made Spokesman Mankind Manpower Congressman Mailman Policeman Fireman Repairman Cameraman with with with with with with with with with with with with Businessperson, Business executive Chairperson manufactured, human origin Spokesperson Humankind Personnel, Workers Representative, Member of congress Letter career, Mail career Police Officer Fire fighter Repair Technician Camera Operator

Racial and ethnic bias His black assistant speaks more clearly than he does (Racial-bias) His assistant speaks more clearly than he does. (Reader-friendly) Mr. Ali is an unusually tall Asian (Racial-bias) Mr. Ali is tall (Reader-friendly) Age bias Mr. X, aged 55, has just joined our Technical Department (Age-bias) Mr. X has just joined our Technical Department. (Reader-friendly) Disability bias Crippled workers face many barriers on the job. (Disability-bias) Workers with physical disabilities face many barriers on the job (Reader-friendly).

7. CORRECTNESS
1. Use the right level of language 2. Check accuracy of figures, facts and words 3. Maintain acceptable writing mechanics

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