RIGHTS OF PARENTS

CONTENTS:
1. RIGHTS 2. OBEDIENCE 3. DISRESPECT 4. VIRTUES 5. STORY 6. STATUS 7. IMPORTANCE RIGHTS Allah is our Creator and it was through our parents that He created us. This is the reason why He has given so many rights to the parents. It is stated, Allah has ordered that do not worship anyone but Him and be dutiful towards your parents. OBEDIENCE Hazrat ibn Abbas narrates from the Prophet that a person whose parents are alive and he obeys them, listens to and respects them, then Allah will open two doors of paradise for him. But if one of his parents is not happy with him, then Allah will not be happy with him either. Then someone asked the Prophet , Even if they are oppressors? The Prophet oppressors. DISRESPECT It is said, a person who disobeys his parents, or disrespects them and does not listen to them, Allah will open two doors of hell for him. And if he disrespects only one of them, then Allah will only open one door of hell for him. VIRTUES Helping your parents is better then performing Jihad. Abdullah ibn Umar came to the Prophet Are any of your parents alive? He replied, Yes. The Prophet parents. From this we can gather how important parents really are. STORY A man came to the Prophet and asked him, My mother is very old. I feed her with my hands and I help her do ablution and I sit her down on my shoulders. Have I done enough to repay her for the things she has done for me? The Prophet said, No. You have not even repaid he a bit. But Allah will give you a small amount of deeds for what you have done. Such is the value and status of a mother and this is because nothing can compensate for the chores she has born for her child since pregnancy to his upbringing. 1 narrates that a person asked him, replied, Yes, even if they are

and said, I have intentions of going on Jihad. The Prophet

said, Do Jihad by helping your

STATUS Bahys ibn Hakim said that he heard from his grandfather, that he had asked the Prophet should I do a good turn? The Prophet Prophet , Who shall I do a good turn? The Prophet , Who

replied, Your mother. His grandfather once more asked the said, Your mother. His grandfather said, Your mother. After repeating the question for

repeated the question a third time. The Prophet the fourth time, the Prophet IMPORTANCE

replied, Then your father and then in order, your relatives.

Hadhrat ibn Abbas said, At the time of the Prophet , there was a young man named Alkamah. He used to work very hard and give his earnings to charity. One day he became very ill. His wife sent a . The Prophet sent Bilal , Ali , Suleman and Amar with message to the Prophet these words, See how he is. They went and found that he was indeed very ill and close to death. They spent some time trying to make him read the Kalimah, but something was holding him back. Hazrat Bilal returned to tell the Prophet about his condition. The Prophet asked, Are his parents told alive? Bilal replied, His father has passed away, but his mother is still alive. The Prophet

to call his mother and if she couldn't come then the Prophet would come to her. As soon Bilal as Alkamahs mother heard, she grabbed her walking stick and came right away. She did Salaam and the Prophet returned it and asked, Tell me truthfully, if you don't, then I will learn by revelation. What that he was a very pious man, that he used to sort of deeds did your son do? She told the Prophet

read prayers consistently, fast constantly and give alms abundantly. The Prophet asked her how he was with her. She said, I am upset with him. Instead of me, he gives preference to his wife. He used to disobey me and listened to his wife. The Prophet said to her, Your displeasure has stopped Alkamah from reciting the Kalimah. The Prophet then ordered his Companions to gather some wood and to burn him. The mother asked whether they were really going to burn her son in front of her? told her, Allah's punishment is much greater. If you want Allah to forgive Alkamah, The Prophet you must first forgive him yourself. His praying, fasting and alms-giving will do him no good. His mother raised her hands and said, I have forgiven him. The Prophet sent Bilal to check on Alkamahh. He was reading the Kalimah. Alkamahh died that very day. The Prophet arranged his funeral and led his Janazah. After that he stood up and addressed the people. The person who prefers his wife rather then his mother, Allahs curse be upon him. His faraaidh and nawafil will not be accepted. "If a person looks with love at his parents, God writes in his favor the reward equal to the performance of one Hajj." The Status of Parents in Islam By Syed Hasan Akhtar "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but 2

address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (Quran 17: 23,24) All religions and all societies have given parents an honorable status. From a purely material viewpoint, we find ourselves indebted to our parents, particularly our mother. She not only nourished us in her womb, but went through pain and suffering. She loved us even before we were born. She toiled when we were totally helpless infants. She spent sleepless nights caring for us. Our parents as a team provided for all our needs: physical, educational, psychological, and in many instances, religious, moral, and spiritual. Our indebtedness to our parents is so immense that it is not possible to repay it fully. In lieu of this, it becomes obligatory for us to show the utmost kindness, respect, and obedience to our parents. The position of parents, and the mutual obligations and responsibilities, have been addressed in Islam in great detail. The Qur'anic commandments, as well as the sayings of Prophet Muhammad guide us in this matter. The parent-child code of behavior in Islam is unique, since rules were laid down by divine command. References to parents have been made at least 15 times in the Holy Qur'an. There are numerous traditions of the Prophet Muhammad on this subject. I will first quote some of the Qur'anic verses here: "And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents. In travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in two years was his weaning. Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is thy final goal." (Chapter31: verse14) According to the above verse, gratitude to God and to parents go hand in hand. Gratitude to God is incomplete without showing gratitude to one's parents. Since being grateful to God is a form of ibadah (worship) which earns heavenly rewards, it can therefore be said that being grateful to one's parents also earns heavenly rewards. "Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (17: 23,24) "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth." (46:15) Thus, God has enjoined on us to show kindness, respect, and humility to our parents. We are commanded to do this, even though they may have injured us. The only exception to the above command is made in the following verse: "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; but if they strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not." (29:8) Some of the traditions of Prophet Muhammad, and of the learned members of his family, about our responsibilities toward our parents are quoted here: "Paradise lies under the feet of the mother." "God's pleasure is in the pleasure of the father, and God's displeasure is in the displeasure of the father." "He who wishes to enter Paradise through its best door must please his parents." 3

"It is a pity that some people may not attain Paradise, on account of not serving their old parents." "If a person looks with love at his parents, God writes in his favor the reward equal to the performance of one Hajj." [Someone asked, "will this promise be good if one looks at his parents one hundred times a day?" The Holy Prophet (pbuh) replied, "even if one does so a hundred thousand times a day, God gives the reward accordingly."] "A man or woman is bound to be good to his or her parents, even though they may have injured him or her." Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (A.S.), the great-great-grandson of the Prophet Muhammad is reported to have quoted Imam 'Ali (A.S.) that, "disobedience to parents is a major sin." He also stated that, "if a person looks at the face of his or her parents with wrathful eyes, despite the fact that injustice was done to him or her by the parents, his or her salah (prayer) will not be accepted by God." According to one of the Hadith-e-Qudsi, the following is reported about the status of parents: "God has commanded that if anybody prays equal to the invocations performed by the prophets, such prayers will do no good if that person has been cursed by his or her parents." It has also been related that the very first words which have been written on the Lauh-e-Mahfuz (The Heavenly Preserved Tablet) are: "I am God, and there is no deity except Me. I am pleased with those with whom their parents are pleased, and I am displeased with those with whom their parents are displeased." Prophet Muhammad is reported to have said: "On the Day of Judgment, my person will not be seen by those who drank liquor, those who on hearing my name did not invoke the blessings of God on me, or those who were cursed and disowned by their parents." 'Ali ibn al-Husain (A.S.) is reported to have said: "The right of your mother on you is that you should know that nobody could endure the trouble and the conditions under which she protected you and nourished you with the juice of her life, and tried with her heart and soul to satisfy all your needs in relation to hunger, thirst, dress, etc. She passed sleepless nights, suffering anxieties. She provided you with shelter against heat and cold, and protected you from ailments. It is not possible for you to compensate her, or thank her enough for all the services, except that God may give you guidance for that. The right of your father on you is that you should know that it is he who brought you into existence, and you are a branch of the tree of his life." According to a reliable tradition, it is related that a man came to Prophet Muhammad and asked him to whom he should render kindness. The prophet told him to be kind to his mother. Three times he put the same question to the prophet, and three times he got the same answer. When he asked the question the fourth time, he was told to be kind to his father, indicating that the mother's right took precedence over that of the father. Parents' duties: Islam has assigned certain duties to parents that they must fulfill. If they fail in those, they will be questioned about it. Besides providing the basic necessities of life, Islam requires that the parents teach their children about the Oneness of God, the Quranic commandments, values, the Prophets and their teachings, and the moral code of Islam as according to the Quran and the Sunnah (teachings) of Prophet Muhammad. Let us pray to God that He guide us to be respectful, kind, and obedient to our parents, and that we continue to show them humility regardless of the power, position, wealth, and influence we may possess. Let us also pray that we be patient, kind, thoughtful, and friendly with our children, as we guide them through their lives, and that we discharge our responsibilities towards them as required by our religion, so that God may be pleased with us, and may He Bless and reward us, both in this world and in the Hereafter; Ameen. 4

PARENTS IN ISLAM I begin with the name of Allah the most merciful and the most kind, peace and blessing be upon beloved Prophet (S.A.W) All praise is for Allah. In Sura Al Ahqaf Allah(S.T) the most High has said: "And we have commanded man to do good to his parents. His mother bore him with great hardship and brought him forth in great pain. And the bearing and weaning are in thirty months until when he attains full strength and reached forty years, he said: O my lord! Inspire me that I may keep offering thanks for His favour which you bestowed on me and on my parents (and grant me strength) that I may do good deeds those of which you approve and make my offspring righteous for me. Truly I turn to you in repentance and surely I am of those who submits to your commandments in all humanity." (SURA 46 V15) MUSLIM BELIEF ABOUT HIS PARENTS A Muslim must believe that his real originator or creator(Al-Khaliq) is Allah(S.T) the most High but in this world, parents are the external cause of the existence of children. Allah(S.T) the most High is the real sustainer and cherisher of all of us but parents are gifted by Allah(S.T) to sustain and cherish their children with love and care. In other words parents of a child represent the Lordship of Allah(S.T) the most High. OUR OBLIGATIONS TO PARENTS In this verse of Sura Al-Ahqaf human being is commanded to treat his parents in every possible good way and manner by which he can achieve their pleasure and nearness. One who has true faith in the teachings of Islam must prove his faith by his practical behaviour towards his parents. HONOUR OF OUR MOTHER It is the great blessing of Allah(S.T) on all mothers that Allah(S.T) the most High has mentioned them in the Holy Quran to let us know and believe that we must not neglect our obligations towards her. In Hadith the order of serving the mother is given thrice. In the above mentioned verse too the mother is mentioned thrice first in the words (A) WALIDAIHI IHSANA (to do good to his parents and fathers both) (B) HAMALATHU UMMUHU (his mother bore him) (C) WADAATHU (delivered him) When a Sahabi(companion) enquired "O Apostle of Allah! (S.T) who is the most (rightful) for my good association? He (Sall Allahu Alaihi Wassallam) said: "Your Mother." Then the person asked who is next, He (Sall Allahu Alaihi Wassallam) said: "Your Mother" the Sahabi said who is next, The prophet of Allah (Sall AllahuAlaihi Wassallam) said: "Your Mother" the sahabi enquired who is next? The messenger of Allah(Sall Allahu Alaihi Wassallam) said "your Father"(agreed upon) . In another Hadith it is mentioned: "Then your mother, then your mother, then your mother and then your father and then the nearest relatives." SEEK YOUR SALVATION BY GOOD BEHAVIOUR TO YOUR PARENTS Being grateful to your parents makes you grateful to Allah(S.T) and ungratefulness to them is ungratefulness to Allah(S.T). One who does not prove to be thankful to the parents, he is lacking thankfulness to Allah(S.T). Allah(S.T) said: "Be grateful to me and to both your parents(SURA Luqman Verse 14) one who showers gratefulness to his parents proved by good deeds and behaviour is blessed with Jannah(paradise), and the most unfortunate one is one who does not seek salvation by the true Khidmat shown by kindness in words and deeds." The (beloved) Messenger of Allah(SallAllahu Alaihi Wassallam) said: "May he be humbled(looses his honour) May he be humbled May he be humbled: It was said: who? O Messenger of Allah(Sall Allahu Alaihi Wassallam) the one who finds parents in their old age either one of them or both of them and yet does not enter paradise" (Sahih Muslim)

JUDGE YOUR BEHAVIOUR TO YOUR PARENTS IN THE LIGHT OF DIVINE TEACHINGS Allah (S.T) said: "Your Lord has commanded that you must not worship non but Him alone and do good to your(both) parents. If either of both of them reach old age in your life time say not even UFF(Fie) to them say not to them a word of disrespect nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour." (Sura Al_Isra Verse 23). LOWER YOURSELF TO OLD PARENTS Every human being having reached old age needs more service and care. The society must not ignore the rights of senior members of the community. Allah(S.T) said: "And lower to them shoulders with humility and meekness and say my Lord have mercy upon them(both) as they brought me up when I was little." When we were weak and in need our parents did hard labour in nourishing and rearing us. They have performed numerous sacrifices for our comfort and welfare. They were the main source of our safety from a number of difficulties. As Allah(S.T) has mentioned we must sincerely ponder over the many hardships, which were taken by our parents for our comfort. CARING FOR EACH OTHERS PARENTS Abdullah ibn Umar(may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Messenger of Allah(Sall Allahu Alaihi Wassallam) said: "A mans rebuking his parents is of the major sins. They (Sahaba) enquired; 'O (beloved) messenger of Allah(SallAllahu Alaihi Wassallam) does any man rebuke his own parents. He(SallAllahu AlaihiWassallam) said Yes he who chides the father of a man who chides his father in return and he who chides the mother of a man who chides his mother(in return). DOOR OF PARADISE Our duties to parents are resembled with the gates of paradise by the beloved Messenger of Allah (Sall Allahu Alaihi Wassallam). He(SallAllahu Alaihi Wassallam) said: "Father or a parent is the best of the gate of paradise. So if you like, guard the gate or destroy it." Narrated by Imam Tirmizi and Ibn Maja OUTLINE Doing good to parents in everyway Obeying them without demur in everything good Behaving respectfully towards them Maintaining attitude of thankfulness towards them Caring for them with mercy, with special regard for the mother Kindness to both parents is commanded by Allah (S.W.T) in the Holy Quran as mentioned in the following verse: "We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him and in pain did she give birth. The carrying of the child to his weaning is a period of thirty months. At length when he reaches the age of full length and attains forty years, he says, 'O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for thy favour, which thou hast bestowed upon me and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as thou magest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to thee and truly do I bow (to thee) in Islam' such are they from who we shall accept the best of their deeds and pass by their ill deeds; (they shall) be among the companions of the Gardens a promise of truth, which was made to them (in this life)" (Al Quran XLVI 15,16) OUR PARENTS HAPPINESS AND PLEASURE IS THE GREAT SOURCE OF ALLAH'S MERCY FOR US The Prophet (S.A.W) of Allah said: "The pleasure of the Lord is in the pleasure of the father, and the displeasure of the Lord is in the displeasure of the father" (Tirmidhi reported by Abdullah Ibn Amr). The prayers of our parents for us are also a great source of Allah's (S.W.T) blessing for us in this worldly life, as the Prophet of Allah said: "Nothing but supplication can annul predestination and nothing but obedience (kindness to them) to the parents can prolong life. A man is deprived of his provision for his sins he commits." (Ibn Maja reported by Thauban ). AN INTERESTING STORY IN THE HADITH. Ibn Omar reported that the (beloved) Prophet (S.A.W) said: "While three men were walking (travelling) the rain overtook them. Then they entered the cave of the mountain. While they were in the cave a huge rock of the mountain then fell down over the mouth of their cave and completely shut them in. In this difficult time there was no other obvious material source 6

of rescue. They said to one another "let us recall the good deeds, which we did sincerely for Allah (S.W.T). Make dua (supplication) to Allah (S.W.T)" by mentioning those good deeds as a source of acceptance that He (S.W.T) may rescue us. So one of them mentioned one of his special deeds to Allah (S.W.T) by saying: "O Allah (S.W.T) I had old and weak parents and young children for whom I used to graze sheep. Whenever I went to them at night, I took milk and gave it first to my parents to drink before my children. One day I could not return home till it was evening. Then I found them (parents - mum and dad) had fallen asleep. I had came to them with milk as I used to do (and did not disturb their sleep) but I remained standing near their heads in the state of not liking to begin dinner with children before them (mum and dad), while the children were crying at my feet. This affair of theirs and mine continued till it was dawn. If my deed as you know was for to seek your pleasure then rescues us and make for us an opening from which we see the horizon according, Allah (S.W.T) made an opening from them till they saw the horizon. The other two also remembered their good deeds by which they made dua to Allah (S.W.T) in this difficult time and Allah (S.W.T) helped them and the huge rock was removed from the opening of the cave." (See Sahih Al-Bukhari & Sahih Al-Muslim) It has become very easy for us to understand that doing good for our parents and being obedient sons and daughters to them, we can become good servants to Allah (S.W.T). The huge rocks of difficulties will be removed from our ways if we can prove to be the helpful and beneficial to our fellow human beings. ROLE OF MOTHERS - IN UPBRINGING OF THE SOCIETY Mother is the first and most important teacher of every human being in every society. If the mother plays her role and is dutiful to Allah (S.W.T) concerning her child in the light of Islamic teachings then the children adopt the way of Jannah (paradise), which is the way towards peace and tranquility of our life in this world and in the world here after. Abu Umamah reported that a man asked: "Ya RasulAllah (O messenger of Allah!) (S.A.W) what are the rights of parents over their children?" He (S.A.W) replied: " They (mum and dad) are your paradise and your hell" (Ibn Maja) DOES YOUR MOTHER LEAD YOU TO PARADISE OR HELL? If a mother teaches her children the love, respect, obedience, and kindness to their father, she is leading them to paradise and if she creates hatred, disobedience of the father in the children's heart then she is definitely leading the children towards hell. Doesn't she know that it is her duty to protect her children from the fire of hell and enable them to be blessed with paradise? WHAT CAN WE DO FOR PARENTS WHO HAVE PASSED AWAY? The answer is there in the Hadith reported by Abu Osaid Ibn Assaaidi who said that we were near the Holy Prophet (S.A.W) when a man of Banu Salma came to Him (S.A.W) and asked: "Ya RasulAllah (S.A.W) , Is there any obedience to parents left that I can show to them after their demise?" He (S.A.W) said: " YES! (You can be obedient to them) by praying for them, to seek forgiveness for them by fulfilling their instructions after their death, by keeping affinity to those who are not connected with you but through them and to honour their friends" (Abu Dawud and Ibn Maja) GOOD PRACTICAL EXAMPLE Sayyiduna Saad (may Allah (S.W.T) be pleased with him) came to the beloved Prophet (S.A.W) and mentioned that his mother has died suddenly and she could not instruct her son for anything to be done after her death, what should he do to be good to her now? The Prophet of Allah (S.W.T) instructed the companion to give water in charity. May Allah (SWT) grant us all the knowledge to understand Islam and its principals and the taufeeq to be well mannered towards our parents and all parents (Insha Allah). Please Allah accept out Zikr today and grant us your blessings and mercy. If I have made any mistakes or please Allah (SWT) forgive me. Ameen.