Alcoholism and Education affecting the American Dream

Erica Fraser Period 1 Mrs. Gronholz

Dear Reader, There are many reasons why I chose this topic. I grew up with my mothers side of the family with little to no contact with my dads side of the family. My maternal grandparents helped raise me and provided me with many amenities that most children couldnt have. I knew little of how they became successful, but I have always wanted to know. This curiosity also applied to a side of the family I never knew. I had always wondered what happened in their lives and why they werent in mine. I wanted to know why they werent successful like my other grandparents. I was also curious on how this affected their children and their success. I thought this project would be a perfect opportunity to explore my family history while learning something new about alcoholism.

Interview: Patricia Gaspar Where did you go to school? Grandpa went to Lake Middle School and North High School- Graduated in 1965 at the age of 17 Grandma went to Skinner Middle School and North High School Graduated 1965 at the age of 17 Do you think your parents were supportive? Grandma- Father was a High School dropout, and an orphan so he never had the opportunity to go to school. Her mother put herself through nursing school Grandpa- His parents felt that education was very important. He joined the army while my grandpa was starting kindergarten. Did you go to College? Grandpa- Went to CSU, but he played tennis and hung out with his friends instead of going to class. He dropped out and went home. While working at Safeway he met Patricia Gaspar. Grandpa- Went to UNC for a while after High School Why did Grandpa join the Military? He joined the Air force to be a jet engine mechanic at the start of the Vietnam War. He tested extremely high in mechanical aptitude. He was put into the Titan 2 Matience School for 6 months. After that, he came home and got married. They were stationed in Lompoc, California at Vandenberg Air Force Base. How did Grandpa get his degree? On the Air Force Base there was a school so people could get their degree during lunch and in the afternoons. Staff Sergeant Zoom Zoom

convinced him to go to school. Chatman College based in Southern California offered an extension. He was able to get his bachelors degree after he got out of the military. By the age of 23 he has a 4-year degree, 4 years of military, a wife and a baby (15 months old) What did you do after the military? They came back to Colorado and grandpa was hired by Safeco insurance as an underwriter and was quickly promoted due to his skill and management ability. He was sent to get his CPCU (Certified property and casualty underwriter), which is a very difficulty designation to get. He was on the fast track to be a division manager but he left to get into the agency business. 3 people left and Carl was invited to go as an agency manager. When grandpa was 33 he bought out two partners share or Gaspar-Jones insurance. Then 15 years later he bought the last one. He taught at Metro and Arapahoe Community College at night. He was offered a position as a professor but he decided not to accept. He taught CPCU, as a night school program. He taught CIC (another insurance designation) He was involved both locally and nationally in the use of computers in the insurance agency. When he was 50 he went back to school to get his masters degree in business. What did you do for school (Grandma)? When they cam back to Colorado she started going to Metro. She was taking a biology class and was pregnant with my mother. She went to school part time, and worked at the day care center part time to pay her tuition. She stopped and went to work at the agency for a while but she went back to finish her degree. She got her CIC (a benefits designation for insurance) Did you have any hardships? Grandpa just worked very hard and took advantage of every opportunity. He never got sent to Vietnam.

Grandpa and Grandma were very supportive of each other; they never questioned each others education. They always understood. One of Grandmas main motivations to finish school was how disappointed her mother was when she didnt finish. What was it like growing up in North-West Denver? Grandma always had cousins and other family living with her Grandpa lived in a much nicer home, mother was an only child, and father has successful siblings North High School was considered a rough school. Grandma never had trouble. Grandpa punched a kid in the face. Very few Mexicans at North at the time. There were a lot of Italians, Germans, and Jewish people. Barely any black students. Grandmas mom was the main moneymaker of the family. She out earned her husband he helped with housework. Almost all of grandmas friends moms worked. Grandma thinks if Grandpa werent so successful she wouldnt have been. When he started the company there was 5 employees, when he sold it there was 23. Interview- Diana Meade What types of jobs did my grandparents have? Grandfather - Navy, Grandma waitress, wife What were they like? Grandpa - 6'5" very strict but loving died when your dad was 6 not sure how

old he was when he died but also was an alcoholic - grandma very smart could solve Wheel of Fortune puzzles without any letters showing, but had a huge alcohol problem and died at age 46 because of it. She was married 5 times.

Did they go to college? No

Did they finish High School? Yes Were their parents supportive? Grandpas were but extremely strict. Almost on the point of abusive. Spanking was a daily occurrence but they thought that they were doing it to raise their kids right not because they were mean spirited people. Grandma's dad my Papa was the best man I have ever known but he had a disease and died when I was in 5th grade. He adored your grandma and me. If he hadn't gotten so sick I think your dad and I would have had a much better childhood because he would not have allowed what happened to us. Grandma's mom, my Nana on the other hand was jealous of my mom and Papa's relationship and also drank heavily. She was very verbally abusive to my mom. Were they supportive of you and your future? No, Tom (My father) and I have different dads. Both grandparents didn't live long enough to be supportive but I know that my mom was to drunk to be capable of supporting us. Did they think education was important? I think so but hard to say but I think it is the most important thing you do for yourself. How did they die?

Alcoholism

What impact did their actions have on you and your outlook on life?

Wow this part could fill a book. Your dad, your uncles and I had a very abusive childhood. Because of our parents inability to take care of themselves they couldn't take care of us. If a child is not given the tools to succeed it is very hard for them to get over the hurdles of life on their own initiative. I was lucky that I had a few key people that showed me what a "normal" life was like and because I was taking care of my brothers and mother from the age of 7 on I think I was able to keep myself on a fairly decent path. Your dad however with no father figure or support just can't seem to do it. He tried but he just isn't strong enough. I also believe that he doesn't feel he deserves a good life so if things are going well he tends to screw them up because he thinks he isn't good enough.

The American Dream, for many people this means to be successful, get a house, a job and have a better life they your parents had. For many this means to have a family a husband or wife and children. I come from an unconventional family. I grew up only knowing my moms side of the family. I know my grandparents as very loving and supportive people. They worked very hard in their lifetime to get an education and seize every opportunity they ever had. My other grandparents were not successful. They did not value education. They finished high school, but never went to college. They limited themselves in life. They resorted to alcohol to solve their problems and they let it consume their lives. The alcohol made them violent and they were unfit to raise their children. Their actions led to my father and two uncles not getting a good education and becoming alcoholics. My aunt took her experiences and used them as a building block to her success. Not everyone is equipped to handle that, some people take traumatic events in their life and use them to make them a better and stronger person; others use them as an excuse to tear themselves down. I think the major difference between my families is that two of my grandparents decided to get and education. They had so many more opportunities in their lives that my other grandparents did not have. Their success and lack of is reflected in my parents. My mom went to college and became successful; my father is an alcoholic with nothing. On one side my grandparents success has set a standard for me. On the other side seeing how alcoholism can take so much of someones life and how many opportunities are taken away just because they didnt get a higher education pushes me to do better. My grandfather always says, Everything I have is a result of education. My grandparents had the advantage of being raised by supportive parents who valued education themselves, but it was up to them to take advantage of the opportunities they were given. In many parts of the world they dont believe that education is important and that people should just work their entire lives. If you see these are the countries in which the government is corrupt and there is not a good economical situation. An example of one of these countries would be Afghanistan. Many in that country believe that a woman should not be educated, so people in power go out of their way to stop a woman from receiving an education thus taking away her opportunity for a good future.

These women spend most of their lives raising children in little shacks and looking after the home. They had no other choice for themselves because they never received the opportunity for an education; therefore, they couldnt achieve a higher standard of living besides the one given to them when they were born. I think this is a really strong argument for why education is important because this issue affect many countries all over the world. I think the fact that Afghan women arent educated effects more than just themselves because they are people just like me who arent able to receive an education which is a basic human right set forth by the United Nations. We never know, but maybe some day it will be an Afghan woman who finds a cure to cancer, or maybe it will be an Afghan woman to discover important technologies. I think it is important to give everyone the opportunity to an education because of all that a human is capable of achieving. Because people in Afghanistan arent educated they let the government oppress them because they dont know any better. We in America are extremely lucky that education is valued because of that most of us go to college and get a good paying job. We have options because we received that education we usually dont have to settle for a simple life. Seeing how successful and unsuccessful my family is has definitely influenced my outlook on life! I believe that alcoholism is both a disease and a choice. It can be genetic; my chances of becoming an alcoholic are much higher than most peoples. But it is also my choice to control my habits before they get out of control.

The Sea used to be calm We could just float, and soak up the Sunshine Our Rubber duck raft provided us with a smooth sail Sand Castle reached far beyond the horizon, warm and comfortable Life was easy But one day we come to find that our all so familiar sea had turned cold The Sun that once shined with soft and warm light had turned angry Our Sand castle walls came crumbling down Our Rubber ducky raft flew in a million directions out of control We were drowning I woke up. The same walls I had been looking at for 12 years were different. They were no longer warm and comfortable Dad was gone, like he always is He always called me his Sunshine, that was until he started getting so angry The world was dark without him I go to the kitchen to find mom, sprawled across the floor Cold. Clenching my rubber ducky she had once given me as a child. Glass bottles lay scattered around her.

Empty. She had drowned.

Dear Diary, The Year is 1966; I had recently dropped out of college. I never went to class; I spent my time playing tennis with my friends My parents are furious, their faces bright red as I told them of my decision to come home. I remember each word they said, my father was like a volcano ready to erupt, but my mother calmed him down, her silent tears were enough. I knew they were very disappointed in me, but I promised them Id figure things out. Dad kept going on and on about how important my education was and how I needed to succeed. I know, I really messed up this time. I just dont know what I want! I am only 18 for Christs sake! I am currently working at Safeway as a bag-boy. The pay is okay, but its only temporary until I figure out what I want to do. I am considering going into the Air Force, and be a jet engine mechanic! I shouldnt have gone to college in the first place, I had no direction, and it was a waste of money. I keep thinking of last Tuesday, there is this very stunning girl; she comes in the store a lot. She walked around for a really long time and then she came into MY checkout lane! My heart was racing, sweat rolled

down my face, everything was numb. All of a sudden it was as if my brain was replaced with a giant iceberg, I was frozen, cold. I kept stumbling on my words. First I said, Welcome to is that all, then I said, Your total is milk. She just giggled and smiled. Man, my heart was racing so fast. I introduced myself with a firm handshake and I said My name is Carl, Carl Gaspar, and she replied in a sweet, soft voice, Im Patty, Patty Adams. Then she collected her groceries and said See ya around Carl! I sure hope I see her again. Something about her was really special. I cannot explain it. Maybe she is the one. AH back to what is Important my future Oh Diary if only you could tell me what to do. What is right for me? Where should I go with my life? Am I going to die alone? I am just so confused, diary. To top it off I am asking questions to a notebook. There is so much not right in the world. I NEED HELP! I sure hope Patty likes me, she always looks at me. What is she going to think about a man with no direction in his life? My heart gets this funny feeling when she is around, I cannot explain it. Its like when its sunny while raining. You get this happy feeling but youre still confused because those two conflicts, but at the same time it just feels right and you go with it. My feeling with Patty is just right, and instead of questioning my Sunny Rain, I am going to go dance and take it all in. I have never felt this way. I want to do better, I need to do better. Oh I keep getting distracted. Maybe I should just turn in for the night there is just so much on my mind. -Carl

ConclusionAfter writing this paper I learned a lot about my family and myself. I learned of the many hardships my father had to endure during his childhood and it made me see why he is the way he is. I saw how much support my mother got when she was growing up and it was easy to see what had led to her success and what had led to my fathers down fall. I learned a lot more about my grandparents and how hard they had to work to be successful. I also learned about my Grandparents who I never had the chance to meet. I gained a new outlook on life from this project. It did have a fairly big impact on me. I now see how easy it can be to lose track of what is important. I had to think about the American Dream throughout this project. I really had to take into consideration what society though the American dream was and also what it meant to me. Through out the project I had to think about how part my family had achieved the American dream and how, and how the other half didnt and why. I really understand what the American Dream means to my family and to me as an individual. I also have a slight idea on what I want my American Dream to be in the future and how I am going to achieve it, and how I am going to make sure I dont turn out like my dads side of the family. I am taking bad experiences and the past and learning from it in order to create my American Dream.

Some of the pictures in this project were the only ones I could find. I think it is significant because usually you have many pictures with your parents and many pictures of your grandparents but I do not. My paternal grandparents died at a very young age of alcoholism. This really made me realize that life is short, and I shouldnt waste it drinking. I also learned about how likely it is for me to develop alcoholism myself and I think that is so important for me to know, its also important to know basic facts on alcoholism too! Not only did I think about myself in this project I also thought about people in other countries too. I talked about women in Afghanistan and how their lack of education affects not only themselves, but also the entire world. I found it very beneficial to think about global issues when I am working on a project that hits to close to home. Living in America we can get consumed in our own problems, but it is always good to take a step back and realize there are so many other countries affected by the same problems. The interviews were very helpful because almost all of the information in this project wouldnt be found in books or online. All of the information about my father and his side of the family was gathered through interviews. The essay I wrote was a reflection of the interviews and why they were significant. I wanted to write about the effect they had on me. It helped sum up the importance of education and the destruction of alcohol. A big lesson I learned while doing this project. The poem was written in the view of a child who grew up with alcoholic parents and the pain you have to endure through that. I sort of knew what that feels like because my father is an alcoholic and so is most of his side of the family and when I have been around them it is a struggle. They get mad very easily and they just dont enjoy life as much as they should. The long fiction piece was written from the view of my grandfather it was based on how they actually met. Most of the information was accurate about where he worked and how they met, obviously I didnt know the conversations they shared or my grandfathers though so that is what made it fiction! The family tree helps sort out any confusion with names in my stories and essays. The essay on alcoholism provides facts about the disease and some of its many causes and effects. It was significant because alcoholism is a main theme in this project and effects most of the people

in my family, and someday it could affect me. The Tumblr post is to signify my family and how we are perfect despite what society labels a happy family. Also, so show the gap that has been left when my dad decided to walk out on us due to his alcohol abuse. The article in the end of my project was written in 1995 when my grandpa worked at GasparJones insurance. I thought it was very interesting and I thought it would show the success that grandfather has in his career. It takes a lot to get recognized in a publication and it was a very big deal at the time.

Annotated BibliographyGrimsley, Marjorie. Side by Side. Denevr : Witter Cofield Historic District , 1995. Print. This book is written specifically on the neighborhood where both of my grandparents grew up. It helped me get an idea of the neighborhood at the time and it gave me a few details on my grandparents Ehrlich, Steven D. . "Alcoholism." University of Maryland Medical Center | Home. VeriMed <http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/alcoholism-000002.htm>. This website provided me with a lot of useful information for my essay of Alcoholism. It gave me the specific diseases caused by misuse of alcohol "Medscape: Medscape Access." Medscape: Medscape Access. Medscape, <http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/285913-overview>. Jan. 2012. Web. 3 Apr. 2012.

This website provided me with some more information about alcoholism and the map of deaths wile intoxicated in my essay. Gaspar, Patricia. Personal interview. 24 Feb. 2012. This interview gave me almost all of the information for my essay. It gave me a lot of information about my Maternal Grandparents. I learned a brief history on my grandfather. His military history. How he met my grandmother. Meade, Diana. Email interview. 27 Mar. 2012. This interview gave me a lot of information about my paternal grandparents. I learned some of the hardships they faced. I learned their job history, education history. I learned what type of person they were, and how they raised their kids.