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*This was inspired by the Roman myth of Cloelia. I heard the myth and decided to extend it in order to answer my own questions about the story as well as put my own feminist spin on it. My version explores concepts such as self-reliance vs. faith and reliance on others and tries to answer the question of why it is within human instinct to be antifeminist. And how women felt and acted in response of low status and stereotypes forced upon them Ancient Rome. I try to make it realistic my making them hesitant and unsure of the treatment of women in their society. The Etruscans killed her. In response to her pleading to take off her handcuffs they drove a sword through her. They meant to keep us hostages calm by leading her away from our sight. As if we could see anything but the faintest outline of anything against the stone wall. Down the hall I heard the her screams echo. I discovered how they produced that sound. Dangling from ones belt as he walked by, I saw a sword dripping slowly with blood. My stomach jerked in. Voices came from the surrounding darkness. G-goddess Vesta, save me a breathy voice said. Some hostages thought hope existed. I had heard dozens of girls pray to deities. Most sounded doubtful. I had stopped believing altogether. I reasoned if a higher power were able or willing to save us, blood wouldnt be running down skin. We wouldnt be starved. The soldiers wouldnt have broken a girls arm in power display. I puked in my mouth. It tasted slimy, like a slug bursting up my throat. Squeezing my arms, I tried to hold onto life physically. Sunsets last light shined on the floor, sneaking through cracks between stone blocks. I remembered that back home I would be weaving at this time. Screaming interrupted me. Rome will rescue us, never fear said a silky voice. I recognized its owner as Claudia. Everybody prided her as the ideal Roman woman. No matter the situation, she always did as she was told and remained silent unless spoken too. Her father bragged often about the bride-price she would buy in his drunken ramblings at the tavern my father operated. I was the hidden observer, serving drinks and overhearing people. He was right. Everyone liked Claudia. Except for me. All girls were expected to look up to her, to yearn to be her. So they did. In my case, I tried to admire her. Despite all wholehearted attempts, I was unable. It was impossible to for me strive to be that insignificant. To live my life yearning for mere approval and survival. I wondered if something was wrong with me. Someone screamed again. This time it was angrier, longer. Disturbed by the noise, a girl bumped into me. A wound on my shoulder tore. I felt blood gather at the area surrounding. When we were led in the wound had appeared. It hurt a lot then, but at least I had a more immediate need of attention to numb the pain. Now, when I was inside a cell with nothing to do but hurt, it neared infection. This time I felt it full force, my wound burning acid fire. Reality was in the process of setting in. I acknowledged we were waiting in a prison starved, cold, and injured. A realization launched into me. Nobody would save us. We would either die here waiting or break out. I shivered. Maybe it was because it hurt like crazy and I was unable to take anymore. Maybe it caused me to give in truly. But something inside me shriveled and died. Nobody will save us. I whispered. My legs stood from the cold stone floor, uncontrollably shaking. Because the Etruscans decided to war with Rome, we are rotting in the room which will be our grave. Unless we break out . I might die in vain, but I refuse to wait for death. From now it will only get worse. We are Romans, we are strong. Escape with me if you wish to live. I said. My voice bounced against the cell walls .I was in a trance. I inhaled sharply, weary from my speech. When I caught my breath I straightened my posture again. Eyes, dozens of them, stared at me. I will escape the enemy across the Tiber I said. A silence followed my words. What if nobody came with me? Would I die like that girl lead out of sight? Would I be able to survive alone? Something ached inside me. Ill do it, A voice from the back said. A girl with a leg twisted out of shape limped to my side. I caught her and rested her to lean on my unwounded shoulder. Fine A voice said. It came from Fabia; we had been good friends years ago, until she was married to a rich man who lived across the city. At the time, it was the only way to fund her familys expensive lifestyle. I hadnt seen her since, but I heard that her husband hit her. If for some reason we decided put this idea into action, how would we escape? Theres no way out. We should give up and keep waiting. Romes men will come. Claudias voice said. I understood then, she had gone into denial.

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Or did she know what I was unable to acknowledge? I had no idea what had come over me when I had said the speech. I wasnt thinking. I had no plan. My fists clenched. Still I had no idea how we would attempt to escape, let alone succeed. Something rammed into my shoulder, jolting me from my worries. I saw a girl with her leg contorted from shape to my side Theres a way. Ill goad them to take me out. I could steal their keys and toss them over to you. The rest will unlock the cage, run for it, and grab weapons from racks outside the prison building. This is because soldiers will chase after. Theyll have to fight for escape, She said, sighing. I gasped, probing her eyes desperately. You cant sacrifice yourself. There has to be another way. Think; the keys could hit the bars and miss. You would sacrifice yourself for nothing I said. Look at me Cloelia. Im a broken girl. What place would I have at home without use of a body? Besides, Im unable to run she said, chin quivering. Please I whispered. Whether I was begging for her to go or not, I dont know. Pacing over rabbit-sized block of space I had in the cramped cell, I plotted until my head ached from thinking. I thought about picking apart the stones, ramming down the walls, bending the cell bars enough to slip out. I scowled. There was a way. I needed to let nothing stop me. The fearful part of me knew there was no solution. So I wasnt surprised when I heard clanging against the cage bars. Youre mangy dogs, scum! Chickens look with contempt at your cowardice .You cant defeat a girl I heard a voice say. Whirling my head, I saw the broken girl yelling at the guards. They didnt comprehend they had been insulted at first. Then their brows arched down, a look of fury forming on their faces. As they went over to our cage to force her out their armor clunked a looming monotonous beat. They grabbed her so hard I thought her stick limbs would crush. She elbowed one in the ribcage. Hands fumbled to keep her still. One pinned her wrist against himself. But she managed to slip out enough to unhook his keys. She savored a long inhale and threw them towards the cage. My eyes grew wide. The keys landed on the cell floor with a thud. A dirt-covered girl snatched them from the dirt, running to the door. In a second the lock opened. Go! I said. I ran through the thin doorway, the girls following. My hand stumbled to grasp that of a girl behind me. The sound of feet stampeding was overpowering. Running more, I bolted outside the prison building to a weapons rack. I took the first weapon in reach, a sword. Looking ahead, I saw a frozen girl. She had never gotten hold of any weapon or protection. Soldiers were behind us. It jut through her chest. A soldier had stabbed a spear in her back. She was the first to die in battle. Her name, I never knew. So much I wish I did. I would feel the tiniest better. Because I was unable to save her she died. She wheezed air like a fish on the shore would. Using his foot, the soldier scraped her off the spear. She fell to the ground face first. For moments she gulped for air, then ceased. For the rest of my life I remembered every detail on her dying face. When I have nightmares her look of pure shock appears before me. The events after her death happened in seconds. One second, I gasp. Two seconds, my shock rises to anger. Three seconds, Im piercing my sword through the chest of her killer. Four seconds, my tear glands work and drops flow down my face. I draw out my heavy sword, panting but glaring at the same time. I knelt next to her body and stroked her hair. She was still warm after death, and limp. Inturrupting me, a sword came in from the side. I jumped back, dodging it. In the last moment. I locked blades with his. My opponent screamed. I met the eyes of another girl behind him. She had plunged in the knife now sticking from his shoulder. Using his surprise as weakness, I managed a jab to his chest. From the left, another one charged. I shoved my sword between his ribs. Against them I braced my hand, yanking out my sword. Pivoting, I swung for another guard. His sword bashed mine. The resulting clang was terrible. I kicked his kneecap as hard as I possibly could. He fell down on the ground and I followed, thrown off balance by the kick. Stunned, I rested on top of him for seconds. I got through shock and pierced my sword straight into his throat. I hoisted myself off the dirt to stand. Rocks on the ground dug into my hands. Looking around, I saw girls running into the forest next to the Etruscans army camp. Using the roof of a now collapsed hut, they managed to climb over the fence of sharpened logs. While I had given other girls a chance to escape by holding attacking soldiers off, the fighting faded. The majority of soldiers skirted at the edge of the forest next to the camp, chasing runaway girls. Noticing a loose log on the fence, I ran to it.

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Obtaining grip, I heaved full strength, jerking it out. Around the splinters that flew, I snuck through the hole I made. Resting after all the movement I had done, I leaned my hands on my knees. With a chance to sort events out a thought hit me. Were the other girls okay hiding in the forest? Turning my head back, I rechecked the camp. The few soldiers remaining and not chasing hostages stood erect in guard post. Finishing catching my breath, I picked up my sword and a stray spear from the ground in case of later need. Near the Etruscan army camp lay the forest. Hopefully I would be able to locate and catch up to the rest. I ran between trees, into the cloak of the forest. What was I supposed to do now? I decided to look for water to clean my shoulder wound. I started off, picking a direction at random. Behind me, a twig snapped. Lurching and freezing, I figured it was guards there to reclaim me. Minutes passed, I realized with a relieved sigh there were no soldiers nearby in the forest. With free time, I mulled over the events that happened in escape while waking in search for water. Before that fight I had never purposely harmed anyone. I had fought with my sisters, but I didnt count that. . I imagined my sisters. They probably were baking back in the kitchen. Sighing, I wondered what would happen when I returned to them. How would everybody treat us when they discovered we fought our way out? I imagined Rome cheering for me, smiling. Remembering my task, I sniffed the air, trying to catch the scent of a stream nearby. For three minutes I received no sign of water, but then I caught the tiniest whiff of stream. In that direction I ran between two close trees and bent branches forward. They snapped back to strike the back of my head hard. Ignoring it, I ran the rest of the way. The stream was small, only two arms lengths of water trickling. Next to it, I sat down to splash water on my face. Cloelia, here I heard Fabia say. Trying to locate where it came from, I narrowed my eyes, focusing on the north banks of the stream. A luminescent toga glowed among the forest shrouded by night. Behind I saw an outline of other girls, tending their wounds or guzzling the river faster than I imagined was possible. Dropping my weapons ,I ran over to hug Fabia. Fabia, how did you get here, what happened? I was ignorant of how to use a sword. So I just used it the same way I would to skin chickens. It worked pretty well, because I managed to get into the woods with just one cut. They herded us together while chasing. Thats why we ended up in a group once we outran them Are you hurt? Tugging up her dress, she displayed a cut on her thigh as long as my hand. I gasped. Its nothing compared to how the Etruscans hurt the other girls. But thank you. Anyways, other than that the events of the fight are blurry. We walked until we found water, stayed there for the last few hours, then met you, she said I conveyed as best an expression of pain and sympathy as I could. She looked back at me with wide searching eyes, as if asking something she desperately wanted explained. She looked down and grimly smiled. I know it makes them feel powerful. But what I dont get is why they want to feel power over us. I said. I stood,wiping my hands on my skirt. I stared blankly into space, thinking about the question . I remembered how men looked at me with suspicion. How Fabias father married her off to a rich man the moment he had a slight need for bride-price money. How professors snatched away tablets teaching intellectualism from me. It all lead to the same thing. What if they fear women on some base level? And they know we are capable of greatness? Theres no law saying you cant educate a cow. A cow couldnt learn. If they truly believe we are subhuman they would never shove us below them I said But what about women do they fear? I jumped up and hugged her. She looked at me with the most elated expression I have ever seen. The other hostages had been watching the conversation between Fabia and I in awe. Still sitting in place, they were leaning over and focusing on me. I wondered if they felt the same victory I felt. It was tiny, but it was ours and it was beautiful. They dont fear women! That would mean this isnt what we want. This is what I want and we all want, to be fought over, to be valued. I want comfort. I want to have nothing else to care about than my job, pleasing everybody. If this is what it takes to be valued Ill do it Claudia said, interrupting. She threw her fists down. The girls were staring at Claudia. What? I said, horrified. I knew that moment that she was mad because her illusion was crumbling. She wasnt getting her way. Just as I had my moment when reality set in, she was having hers.

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You want to battle the Etruscans and bleed? Like we did escaping? she said. Head titled down, I thought about her questions. I longed to be held safe in a mans arms, and loved by him someday in my life. A big part of me wanted to run to Rome and take protection there. The men could win the war against the Etruscans. We would be safe. I scowled, glaring at her. I hated that part of me for keeping me from my dreams of being something important. I want to do the right thing. I want to get us back home to our families, who will support us and help us sort through this. To get home to freedom we need to keep moving to the Tiber . Crossing it is the only way to get back. I said. I didnt know Rome that well, and I knew it wasnt safe. But I knew Rome would believe anything. I looked at Fabia, seeking support. Her eyes stared down at the grass, refusing to meet mine. Why was she doing that? Hoping things would get better later; I walked to the stream and cupped water in a hand. I crossed over to the sitting brown haired girl I remembered I saw selling grapes at the marketplace a week ago. Her chin was facing down, and the back of her toga was red from blood. I carefully tore away the back of her dress with the one hand I had. She looked at me over her shoulder with wide eyes, like I was crazy. I motioned what I was planning to do with my free hand. Seeing it, she relaxed and smiled warmly up at me. I rinsed off the gash in her back using water I hadnt spilled on the walk from the stream to her. Scooting back, I looked at the strip of cloth I ripped off. How could I bandage her with that? I settled for tying it around her diagonally like a sash. It stayed on her. I smiled down at her, pleased it worked. Standing up from my knees, I went to repeat the process with other injured girls. Other girls joined me in bandaging wounds gradually . With much hesitation and complaint, even Claudia did. It warmed my heart to watch. Once done we all sat in a circle around our makeshift fire, happy about the moment of health and perfection. I didnt care about poorly bandaging a wound that looked like nothing could heal. I cared about doing something to solve the problem, even if I achieved no results. And I cared about being part of a bigger cause with other people like me. It proved the theory I had made up a few years ago. People are at their most beautiful and terrible in times of distress. Who we are reveals. So what do we do from here? I murmured partially to myself. I warmed near the fire, watching the flames dance. The Etruscans still were after us, they would eventually find us in the forest. When we were recaptured, it wouldnt be the same as before. They would be more cruel and guarded. Most likely we would be sold into slavery.. If that happened, we needed to cross the Tiber as soon as possible. Is everybody okay? I asked, surveying our makeshift camp and seeing the answer in front of my eyes. The group was sitting down and chatting happily, paying no attention to their wounds. They shared fish they caught in the stream and roasted on our fire. Not waiting for an answer, I said Good, because we need to get moving. The Etruscans are still out there Behind my back, I fidgeted with my hands . The girls jolted their heads up to my face. I straightened my posture, trying to look sure. I walked towards an area where the trees grew thicker. I suspected nobody would follow me. Looking over my shoulder, I saw the group standing strong. Fabia jogged up to me Why did I forget? I should have said that hours ago, she said. I walked away from our camp and into the forest. The hostages went the same direction. Within the first ten minutes of walking they started chatting about Rome, and its people. I didnt mean to eavesdrop but I couldnt resist, having nothing better to do. I felt closer to the other hostages now. The sorrow we experienced brought out the best and the worst hidden in us. I think that happened with all people. And I knew from watching disaster at home that our pain would continue to unveil out who we really were. So when I overheard Claudia I wasnt as guilty as I would have been before we were hostages. When I return back home men will buy me for twice the price I was She said to her friend who was leaning in with anticipation. Rolling my eyes, I exchanged a glance with Fabia. This experience had brought out how immature Claudia was. Yet I wanted that too. Why wasnt I worth as much as she was? It made no sense. I frowned slightly I had never put much thought into the topic of my marriage. I thought it was a thing that people did when they grew up and became ready. But I was 15. In a few years I would be forced to marry someone. In that sense I was lucky I was a commoner.

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From overhearing drinking patricians at my dads tavern I learned that noble girls were always married by age of 14. But they werent expected to have children. They could hire a midwife. Common plebian women like myself were expected to have children frequently. And occupy all their time caring for the children. I shuddered. I couldnt imagine myself with a child clinging to my leg. I could imagine a perfect me resembling Claudia nurturing a family. But in the present, or few years in the future I would still be venturing from my childhood. How could I take care of a child without taking care of myself? Rome gave what could be viewed as generous rights to women compared to other nations. In savage places like Persia or Celtic lands, men married dozens of wives , even if the men were royalty. Rome had laws, which allowed a husband to legally kill his wife if she cheated on him. That meant once I was married, I had no other shot to find a lover. If I filed for divorce, a second marriage would be unlikely .I would be considered haggard. And yet my husband could have as many concubines as he pleased. I fidgeted with my skirt,decidng to put off thoughts of marriage for as long as possible. Upon hearing a sharp crunch, my head lurched. I sighed in relief when I saw it wasnt soldiers .Ever since we were taken hostage the slightest sound could alert me. It made me much more aware than I was before. When I slept in my dad had to shake me awake. At the memory I smiled. Suddenly, a pang of guilt hit me. I had said horrible things about men in my speech to get the other hostages to escape. They way I talked, its like I thought they were monsters . But they truly meant well. And they truly loved us, I could see the gleam in my fathers eyes, in the eyes of male friends. I dont think its their fault. Well, it is but they dont mean it. And were as much at fault as they are. We accept the restrictions they put on us, some of us even like it I eyed Claudia , still gossiping with her friend , displaying her usual flirtiness . I think they just follow what their fathers told them. Men enjoy taking care of us , they enjoy us needing them to take care us. If they do abuse us, they know its wrong. If they didnt, rape wouldnt be a crime. Its the fear and the unfammilarness of us that make them treat us differently I said to the group. I remembered a day one decade ago, when I was 5. While playing with a boy my age I found a rabbit under the bushes. The first thing I wanted too do was pet the rabbit, and take it home to be my pet. I was just about to try and pet it when the boy charged up. He said he wanted to kill the rabbit. At the time I thought we would grow out of those stages. But from getting older I learned that you never truly grow mature. And so we never grew out of those stages. Men still were warlike and aggressive, except instead of a little boy and a rabbit, it was the Etruscans attacking Rome. I never learned exactly why they attacked. Months ago, Rome was peaceful . Then one day, the outskirts of Rome were being burned down, and destroyed. My dad, my neighbors, childhood friends, all who were male started honing their swords. I pursed my lips thinking about what those swords were doing now. Until we were taken hostage I was never involved in the war . Sure I had too do more work to run the tavern, but I never had to do anything out of the ordinary .Now I was carrying a sword and a spear, running from Etruscans, and planning to cross the Tiber river. Trees grew farther apart. When we neared its edge I could hear the Tiber faintly lapping. I bit my lip. This meant we were close to home. We would have to face the barbaric Etruscans soon, and cross the Tiber. It was a calm river, flowing across the horizon. But across it was expansive. The swim would be dangerous, nearly impossible. As much as I disliked it, we eventually walked out the forest into the grasslands. What other choice did we have? It was either trap us or take our chances on the outside. My sandals padded the grass. So far so good. My head swiveled as much as it possibly could, looking for danger.

Although rape was a crime, the law only punished the rape of a slave if it "damaged the goods," because a slave had no legal standing He also said anyone can keep a concubine of any age unless she is less than twelve years old. [42] Rape - usually in the context of warfare - was common and was seen by men as a right of domination Plan: when editing time comes make the girls escape more to go home and less for feminist rights. Physical description of Etruscan soldiers

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Plan :after I write about womens rights and marriage in the ancient world (I should make that paragraph more exiting in edits, its so flat and yet has potential.) I should talk about the war with the Etruscans, cloes home and her life. Talk about Rome becoming poorer because of the war (too strong?)More hints about the Etruscans chasing them should be popped in. Make sure to write about time passing. -mention Claudia one more time. Maybe squeeze one more character in? Physical descriptions -they reach the river.(maybe they have to walk through and obstacle first ex;mud, rocks, brambles, escaped Etruscan dogs. Ill need to do a lot of editing afterwards because I need a build up to the climax.

Plan with editing notes :after I write about womens rights and marriage in the ancient world (I should make that paragraph more exiting in edits, its so flat and yet has potential.)Sign of regret, regret. Think about father and Roman men. Say men arent bad. I should talk about the war with the Etruscans, cloes home and her life. Talk about Rome becoming poorer because of the war (too strong?)More hints about the Etruscans chasing them should be popped in. Make sure to write about time passing. -mention Claudia one more time. Maybe squeeze one more character in? Physical descriptions -they reach the river.(maybe they have to walk through and obstacle first ex;mud, rocks, brambles, escaped Etruscan dogs. Ill need to do a lot of editing afterwards because I need a build up to the climax. Theres more forest, she hopes to be liked back home. Words,words,words, then the river!That way it doesnt look like it popped out of nowhere. Time passing thing? -they exit the I imagined that scenario, sadistically thinking it was more likely that they would pay half as much. What scared men more than woman was a woman who had fought. Claudia spoke much against fighting to escape. She still wanted to be treated equally to men. Why Claudia wanted to wait for the men of Rom was because her yearning to be love beat past all other emotions. I had seen her in my childhood; I used to think she was perfect. But she only is what men want her too be. Why I dont want to write this is because no matter what I do Ill never come up with anything good enough. Its too much for me, so why try? I feel on some level like I should fail, like I deserve to fail.Its a confusing scene, and if I had more time I could do it.then I would just need to put in there what I dont have. I want to finish this today sooo badly. But something holds me back. And it sucks, it truly does. The Etruscans killed her. As response to her pleads to take off her bindings they drove a sword through her*1st sentance

At dawn the following morning, the rooster made his rounds. He was a disagreeable character, someone to be endured rather than looked forward to, but to not accept him or to do so with less than a full heart was, the chicken now understood, a first-class ticket to hell. (put before edge of the forest part.
She nodded and stared at me with huge eyes. Stuff I want to add -river scence. They walk up to the river and the Etruscans are waiting nearby, preparing to attack. Cloelea leads the girls across the river, and they swim across while the soldiers throw stuff at them. I just feel like I need something more, something to explain things. It feels like Im going swimming but I forgot the water. I want to say what a brat Claudia is, make more contact between Cloelia and Fabia, and the whole group together. I want them to be badass. Most of all, I want them to be confident. Maybe they think about their society.

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-The end I want to be happier than the beginning, but I want Rome to seem forgien, dark, unwelcoming. Something along those lines. ( its sad how vague my thoughts are) But it has a twist, a surprise that the Etruscans are not the bad guys, but the romans are. They still are faithfull to Rome, but they find something more to stand for than their country.

-they walk up to the river and at first it seems peaceful. Then the Etruscans pop into sight, and cloealea tells the girls to run for it. She fights her way through the soldiers blocking the river. -ugh! I want something signifigant, something that speaks.

By now both the Etruscans and we knew that we wouldnt be useful hostages. The ragtag group of Romans fighting the war didnt care about us enough to stop being coward. The way they choose to see it, they could always get new women. And the thirty of us hostages werent the only women in Rome. There were hundreds more. I imagined the men of Rome dismissing us with a wave of the hand, saying every woman is like another 'Nt have even matured from my own youth. How could I take care of a child when as much as I disliked it, we walked through the forest and into the plains. What other choice did we have? It was either trapp ourselves inside or take our chances on the outside. The ancient Greek legislators considered the relation of marriage a matter not merely of private, but also of public or general interest. This was particularly the case at Sparta, where the subordination of private interests and happiness to the public was strongly exemplified in the regulations. For instance, by the laws of Lycurgus, criminal proceedings might be taken against those who married too late (graphe opsigamiou) or unsuitably (graphe kakogamiou), as well as against those who did not marry at all (graphe agamiou).[1][2][3] These regulations were founded on the generally recognised principle that it was the duty of every citizen to raise up a strong and healthy progeny of legitimate children to the state.[4] So entirely, in fact, did the Spartans consider the teknopoioia (childbearing) as the main object of marriage, which the state was bound to promote, that whenever a woman had no children by her own husband, she was not only allowed, but even required by the laws, to cohabit with another man.[5] On the same principle, and for the purpose of preventing the extinction of his family, the Spartan king Anaxandridas II was allowed to cohabit with two wives, for whom he kept two separate establishments: a case of bigamy, which, as Herodotus[6] observes, was not at all consistent with Spartan nor indeed with Hellenic customs. Thus the heroes of Homer appear never to have had more than one kouridie alochos: lawfully wedded wife;[7] though they are frequently represented as living in concubinage with one or more

Whats the ending I want to take the story too. I dont want to take the story somewhere, I want to let it take me somewhere. I want the world around me to tell me where to guide the story. They cross the river, it is hard, and tiring. The point I want to get across is that this is the climax. Like in Dr. Horrible or forest of hands and teeth I want more to be at risk then what was before. In FOHAT Mary is not only risking her life, but she is risking a life that has found meaning, that has found love, and achieved its dreams.