Five Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat

the national bestseller - soon to be a major film by director rltesh sinha
five pQint om one

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Outlook
'With the pace of an autobiographical at-count, the charaCter; arc Mmple people "ith "hom one can idcntif) "ith almost instantaneously. Needless to sa) this pocket friendl) tome i a luc1d and clear account of a young ''ordsmith "ho succt."eded in making this boo!.. a must read for the fun of it.' 1i"mesollndiJ.rom '...a well-constructed book"ith grc,\l characters and a ca pti\'ating plot. Defi111tcly on the right sid e of fi, e-point something on a I0-point scale.' lndiJ Tod<"'.,l' 'I t' easy to forget that !In poim someone has en penned by a fll"';t-time author .. (the no, el) is a gen tle, humorous take on college life, and what constitutes growing up...a compelling read. .'
1/iudustantimes.rom
'...as raC) and raunch) a-; Schum:cher's hotwheels, interesting as \\'oody Allen':. sexcapade!....' /Jc.cc.m flerJ!d
five Point 0omeone

What not to do at liT
A Novel
by CHETA N BHAGAT
'...dollops of humour and a com ers.uion style tha t dra''., the reader in.' 11ullindu '...a hreC/)' read ...the unher!kll appc.1l of it<; char.tctcr.. will strike a chord "i th lllO'It ' 7inu.,olindt:1 com
r he author ... has been !> ucccssful at making the book sou nd 'lnsi ti,c. Re.tder; \\ill most readily credit hi mli>r hi., <:omplctl" he,lrted l').plori ng of his ch: ractcr-..' Ptoneer
'...fa ntastic acrount coming '> traigh t from the hc.1rt - fanl.1\tic pace... )ou're bound to f.tll i n lo'c \\ ith the h.u.K ter'> in the IIOH:I . ' l Job...,hmd com 'Chctan Bhc1ga t \ debu t book t.lke
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un .1 lu11 flll<'d trip to In:

I OJWmtr 1i"mc'
'I n Ill-; first 110'el, ,,former lll"i.1n giH'" II' a gli mp-...111to thn:c-ccntric, tlitbt \\ orld of I ndia., moo,t prt!'>tigi<>u'l'nginl'rring inst i t u ll''-'
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For nn motiu'r
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Contents
Ackno1cdeement:. '"' Prologue

Bare Begi nning Terminator Barefoot on Metal Line Dr.m ing Make Not\ not War Five-point Something AJok Speak') One Year Later The Mice Theory Cooperate to Dominate The Gift Ncha Speaks One More Year I ater Voc.Jka Opt.ration P ndulum The Longc t Day of My LHc I
1.\"
xi
I
12 24 32 48 60 71 76 96 107
116
134 137 148 160 165
1 he LongcM Day of M) Life I I Th? longest Day of My life III Thl longeM Day of My l ife IV 1 he longe'lt Day of My life V Tlw Longll Day of l\ ty Life Vf Ryan Speaks
1 73 183 191
J...Jju-bur/1
Will we take It? A Day oi I l'tters Meeting Daddy r he Point omeonc
203 213 216 220 224 236 246

259
Acknowl ements e
Well , to say thi11 is my book would be totally untrue. At be t, this was my dream. There arc people in this world, some of them o wonderful, that made thidream become a product that you a re holding in your hand. I would like to thank all of them, and in particular: Shinie Antony- mentor, guru and friend, who taught me the basics of telling a stor y and stayed with me righ t till the end. I f she hadn't encouraged and harassed me all the "ay, I would have given this up a long time ago. James Turner, Gaurav Malik, Jessica Rosenberg, Ritu Malik, Tracie Ang, Angela \Vang and Rim jhim Chattopaclhya-a mazing friendwho read the manuscript and gave honest comments. All of them abo tayed with me in the process, and handled me and nw ometimeou t-of-control emotion o wdl. Anu ha Bhagat - a wife who was once a ciamate, and \\aS the first reader of the draft. Apart from being shocked by some of the incidents in the book, she kept her calm as she had to face the tough job of imprO\ing thl' product and not upsetting her husband.
mom Rekha Bhag.lt and hrotlu.r Kl'tan, two people witll an irrational, unhnak.lhle l licf in me that honkred on craz.im<,o, at time. M) rdationship mth them goe'> beyond tht (;Ommon b'\nc'> Wl' "han.. and I, like \.'H'ry author, needed thtir irrational upport lor me.
M) I l'f friend., A..hi.,h (Golu), Johri, VK, Manu, Shank'). Pappu, ,\\anhar, VJ Rahul, lchta, Pago, A cn"', Rajec\' G., lt...h ul, Ll\ me ..t,J>unect, Chapar and all othrr'> This is a work of flcton, but flcuon net:J., r ..al in.,piration. I lo\'e them all '>0 much that I could literall) \Hitc a book on them. Iley wait, haH' 1? ,\1 lrkndin I l ung Kong, m\ work collcagurs, my yoga ) teachtr., and other'> that c,urround me, Jo,e me and make life fun.
The e litor and the entire team at RupJ for being so prolco,o;ional and friend!) through tht procC'>'> And )a.,th, it is onl y when one writes
'
Prologue
I had ne,cr been ino;ide an ambulance before It "as kind of uecpy Like a ho'>pital ,.."3 suddcnh a ked to pack up and mon.'. l mtr umcnts, catheter.,, drips and a medicine box surrounded t"o bedc;. n,ere was hardly any c;pan for me and Ian to 'lta nd t.,en as AJok got to '>pra"I out Igw!>,,;th thirteen fractures you kind of deserH' a bed. l11c -,hccu were ongmally \\llltc, "hich "as hard to tell now a-, Alok'!> blood tO\crcd cwr) sq uare inch of them. Alok lay thcrl' unrccogni1..able, hie; eye hall' rolled up and hi tongue collap'>l'd outside his mouth likt.> an old nun \\1thout dentures. rour front teeth gonl'. the doctor later told u . Illlimbs wen motionlc!>'>, jmt hkc his father\ right idt, the right knee btnt in a "athat "ould make }ou thmk Jok was boneless. I Je ' 'a oull, and if I had to bet nw mone. I'd ha'c 'aid he wa\ dtad "If Aluk make., it through thi'>, I ";II \\Tilt' a book about our era/\ days. I rtally \\111," I '>\\Oil' It ic; tlw kind of ah..urd pronw.t. you mah to your-.dl "htn ou are 'il'riou.,ly mcs\l'd up in tlw head and you hanm't '>ll'pt for llfty hour<. 'itraight. ..
a book that one
rcalin" th .. true power of MSWord, from grammar checks to replace-all... It is simple - "ithout this software, this book would not be written Thank
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Mr Rill Gates and 1cro oft
Corp!
B EFORE I REAUY BEGIN THIS BOOK, LET Ml: FIRST TELL you what this book is not. It inot a guide on how to
live through co!legc. On the contra ry, it is probably an example of how screwed up your college yea rs can get if you don't think \traight. But then this is my take on it, you're free to agree or dt sagree. I expect Ryan and Alok, p ychos both of them , will probably kill me after this but I don't really ca re. I mean, if they wanted thei r version out there, they could have \Vritten one themselves. But Alok can not write for nuts, and Rya n , even though he could really do whatC\'Cr he wants, is too lazy to put
hb bum to the chair and type. o stuff it boys - it is my story, I am the one writing it and I get to tell i t the way I want it. Also, let me telf you one more thing thi book is certai nly not. This book will not help you get i nto liT. I think half the trees in the world a re felled to make up the liT entrance exa m
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guides. Mc,,t of them art. crap, hut thc..y might hdp ou mort. than this ont wall R,a n , Alok a nd I arc probablthe Ia
t
"'l'ou bloodfrc,hers, do1ing away ch? Ra'tcaJ..., who ,,;II ghc an introduction?" he sc.named. "I am Hari Kumar sir, Mechanical Fngmeering tudent, All India Rank 326 ." I was nothing if not honest under pressure. "I am Alok Gupta sir, Mechanical Engineering, Rank 453," A.Jok said as 1 looked at him for the first time. lie was these thick. chunky glasses on. I lis
people on earth ,ou
want to a.,k about gttting into In :\11 "e would "'a<. ad\Icc is i f vou (a n lock \Our,clf in a room ,,,th books for two \ear'
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"
and thro" away the kt.) you can probably make it here. And if your high school days \\ere half as miserabk as mine, dic;ap aring behind a pile of boob "ill not seem like such a had idea. My last two years in school were lhing hell, and unless you captained the basketball team or played the electric guitar si nce age six, probably you rs were too. But I don't really want to get into all that. I think I have made my disclaimers, and it is time for me to commence.
my
height, fi,e feet five inches - in short, very short - and had
portly frame was covered
in neatlv ironed white kurta-pajamas. "Ry;n Oberoi, Mechanical l:ngineering, Rank 91, 'tir," Ryan said in a deep husky voice and all eyes swung to him. Ryan Oberoi,1 repeated his name again mentally. Now here was a guy you don't see in liT too often; tall, with spare eig t, purposefully lean and unfairly handsome. A loose gray f-sart ptoclaimcd 'GAP' in big blue letters on his chest and shmy black shorts reached his knees. Relatives abroad for sure, I
Well, I ha"e to start omewhcrc, and what better than the day I joined the Indian lmtitute of lechnolog) and met Ryan and Alok for the first time; we had adjacent rooms on the second lloor ol the Kumaon hoo;tcl. A'> pt'r tradition, seniors rouncltd us up on tht. balcony for ragging at midnight I
"<IS
thought. Nobody wears GAP to bed othen...isc... "You bastards," Baku "as shrieking, "Oil "ith your clothes.'' 'i\w Baku, let us talk to them a hit nr..t," prote'>tCd Anurag, lc..aning against the wall, sucking a cigarette butt "No talking!" Baku said, onl' '>C ra\\ll) hand up "No talking. just rcmo'c thO.,l' damn clothl'...." Another demon gnmwd at m, .,l.lpping hio; ban \tomach l'\cry few .,econcJ, Then \l'enwd to ht. no c hoic.e
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'>till
ruhhing my c..\'t.'' a' the thre< of us c; tood to atHntion and thrt.t. ,rnior' f.H.cclm \ 'tninr named Anurag lla awd again-.t a wall \notlwr 'cnior, t<> Ill\ awnom c..,c..', look<.d like.. a dl'mon from cht.ap mvtholugical IY <.hm" - '>ix feet tall, on-r a hundt n.l klo-., dark, hai ry, and hugl' tcNh that wen. tt.n )'l'J" late mt.c..ting an orthodontht. Although he inspired tc..rror, lw '>pokt. littlc.. .1ml \\ ,,., hm\ prcl\'iding background for thl' ho....,, Baku, a lungi-clacl human toothpic-k, and ju.,t "' 'nwll) i' mguc..''
we
,urrrnclcreu evrrv Item of our clothing, o., hinring at the unholy ulc..-c.. in Baku's facas lw walked b, c..ac h of u.,, c.hecking uo out Jnd b grinning. Nakl'dnl''>made the diiTl'nncc.. lwt\\ct.n ou r bodies anore .,tark a., Alok and me drc'" figuac'' on the lloor with decph
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emba rras ed toe , trying to be casual about our twisted balloon figures. Ryan's body wa c; flawle)s, man, he was a hunk; muscle-; that cut at the right placcc; and a body frame that for once resembled the human body shown in biology books. You could dc ;cribc his body as sculpture. Alok and 1, on the other hand , weren't exactl) what you'd call art. Baku told Alok and me to step forward, so the could have better ,;ew and a bigger laugh. "Look :Jt them, mothers fed them until they arc ready to explode, little Farex babies," Baku cackled. n1e demon joined him in laughtl'r. Anurag smiled behind a burst of 'i moke as he extinguished another cigarette, creating his own special effects. ".ir, please si r, let us go ir," Alok pleaded to Baku as he ca me closer. "What ? Let you go? We ha,cn't even done anything yet to you beauties. C'mon bend down on all fours now, you two fatsos." eniors
"o racing-\41C.ing, I hJH' a hllter 1dea. just \\alt, I han to ''o to m. room..\1\J . \ \OU nJJ..ld t:o"' don't look up " Baku raced up the l."Orndor J'> '"-' WJitcd for t"'-'n ty tl nw 'it'l om I'>, gating at the 11om. I glam.rd -.idcwap. and not ked J
m.lll "atcr puddle adjannt to Alok'-. head, dropkt-. falling h 01\\ hi-. l')"l'.
kan"hilr, the d:mon nl.ldl R
Jn
flex hi:. mu,dlJnd
lll.lkcwarrior po:,e-.. I am ...ure hllookcd photog ..nk. but di,Jn't
cl.ul' look up to 'cril . < )ur carpicked up B.1ku'-. hurried \tCp!> a' he returned. "I ook what I got,'' lw -.Jid, holding up hi., ham!... "Baku, whal th o. hell b. thJt for ...?" Anurag nctu ir ..d a'>
'"' turned our heads up. In l'ath of his hand'), Baku held an cmpt) Cokt bottk.
" t:,k a wild gue5:,," he 'IJid as he dangcd the bottk'>

togtthcr,
111.1king suggestive gc'>turc.,.
I ace turning hard(:r, a nm. st ill in modelling pose, R Jn

ll pokl abruptly, "Sir, '"hat exactly are you trying to do?"
I looked at Alok's face. I lis eyes were i nvisi ble behind those
thick, bulletproof spectacle'), but going by his contorted face, I could tell he was as close to tears as Iwas. "C'mon, do what he ays," the demon admonished. I le and Baku cemed to share a sy mbiotic relationship; Baku needed cnile demon needed him him for brute strength, while the
for directions.
Alok and I bent down on all fou rs. More laughter, this t ime from abo,c ou r head , ensu(d. The demon suggested racing both of us, his first original opinion in a while but Baku overrode him.
"What, isn't it obvious? And who the hell are you to ask md" choked Baku. "Sir, stop," Ryan said, in a louder ,oice. "luck ofT," Baku di.,mhscd, disbelief \\Tit large in hi'> \\ukned eyes at thi s blatant rchcllion agaimt hi' agl-old .nilhori 1:\. A'> Baku put the bottle., in po.,ition, Ryan aba ndoned his
pin up pose and jum p d. Ca tching him unawares, hr grabbed tlw two bottles and t:u npcd hard on Baku's feet. Baku rclta.,ed lm handand the bot lJe., werl' wit h Ryan. Jaml'S Bond '> tylc. \\(.knew that stomp hurt 'im:e Baku's scream was ultra,onic. ''Get this basta rd ,'' Baku :,hticked in agony.
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b rl\ c Poinl._\lcmcooe
Bore Bc;sinnin&" 7
llu demon\ I Q \\a'l clouded by the ew ntc; hut hi\ ar-. n. l'>t red the command for action and he had JUSt collccwd him\tlf in respome wlwn RYan ..ma..hed the two Cokt bottle-. on tlw b.-.lcony paraptt. bch bottlnow wa.. butt-broken, and he ''and the jaggd end., in .1it "Come. you ba.,tard,," lh an .,wo1e, hio; fact ,c:arlc.t likt .1 \\.ll<:rnwlon .,Jice. Baku and tlu demon retna ted .1 ft.w paces Anurag, '' ho had been 'lmoulclt>ring in the backdrop, ,nappc.d to att nticm "IJe. cool1t t'\l'l \UIW here. I low did tim happc. n? What i' -our name - R,an, t.lkit tw.y man Jlw, b jw.t fun." "It'not fun for n t," gmwl<.'d R)an, "Just gN the hdl out of h n." Alok .1nd Ilookd at c.'alh otlwr. I wa.., hoping Ryan knew "hat he ' 'J'> doing. I mtan surt, ht ''a" ,a,ing our a,., from a Coh lxmll.', but hrokn ( okc. hottk, could bc. a lot \\Or't ") i"'ttn vaar," ,\n urag '>tarttd ao, Ryan <:ut him o,hort. "J u't gc.t lo'>t," Rpn shmlltd '>0 hard that Baku ccmtd to him, a''aju'lt from tlw impau 1\ttuall), he. ''a<, .,huffling ha.k\\Jrd ,Jowland .,l<:',ldih till lw ''as almost flyi ng in hi, h.l,ll' to gi.'t awa . the dc.mon following \Uit. Anurag .,toO " I hanb Ryan, I '''' n'<lllv <;c.ucd," \Jok ,aid, J' lw nmo,ed h j., 'fX'Ctadt'> to\\ ipt 'not and t<.ar. f 'lt't to f:Kl' w1th hi' lwru at la,t. 'Jlwn i., J rcJ,on "lw tlwv 'J\' mtn o,hould not t n th<.'\' jut look '" lik ugl. Al;lk', ,JWl ;,ldl'' wert ,,l<l<.nou l. hut
h' hab-wet blubbery e es \\lrC enough to deprcyou r nto M il <. 1de. ")b, thanks k.yan, ome mk you took then. Ihat Baku guy h '>i<.-k. Though you think they would ha,e done anvthi ng>" I ;.ud, '>trh ing for a c:ool I did not feel. "Who know ? laybe not," R)an rotated a shoulder, "But HJc.an ne,cr tell when gms '<'t mto mob menta1t) lru \t m . I h.lH' IJ,cc.J m enough boardmg 'chools." R\ an's heroics wert cnough to make us all bond fa,ter than I \Ito! Be.,idco;, ''l' \\t'rt hmtditc neighbours and m tlw o,anw ' nguwtring dep<lrtment. I he) sa) you shouJd not gtt mto a r c.:l.1tiomhip ''ith people you lctp with on the flr.,t date. \\(:11, . 1hough we hadn't \lept tO!,'!(.'till.' I, we had s en each other nak<.d ,\1 pr imar) meet, so pc.rhap<; \\ l' should ha\e refraimcl f1 om 11iking up a friendship But our troika w.h kind of inc., itahll'.
"l ,\ C-11-1-N-1 ," th t hl.1tkhoard proclaimed in big hold

ltlh'l'
'' ,, ,. entered the amphitlwJtre-... haped lccturt room, \H' gr.lhlwd a pile or handout.. (.',)(. h Tlw in...tructc>r '>Jl Ill''\;( to tlw hl.1 <. khoard like a hloattd lx-ttll', "atching u., '>t.ttlc. down, w,1iting for the huddled rm11 mur' to ccac;e Ik app arcd around fort' \'l'.ll'' of age, ''ith gray hair IIH .mdc.,nnt from thrc.c. t:lblt 'poom of coconut o1l, '''Oil' an 1111-tmktd light blut ,hiJ t and h.1d pmHioncd thr c pc.no, in lm IJont puckt..t, along \\'lth d1Jik,, likl an array of bullt.ts. "\\l.komc cwry01w I .1m Pmft..,...or Duht 1nh.lllic.-.ll lnginnling depa rtment...,n, lln.t da) in colkg<.. Do you ld sp,c. iJ I?" he ...aJ<I 111 J monotn1w.
8 t t\'C I k1tnl 6..<:-cnc
The c.laremainc.:d siknt
\\c wert buy canning our
lundouts and ltding like a lwrd. w.1' lanul.1cturing Procc c. of ttn hortened to 1anPro lor ca-.icr pronunciation. The handoutconsi Mcd
of tht cour-,c outline Conttnt-. em tr<.<.l the ba'ic tt.<.:hnique.,
u.. in this class, three hundred of us in a batch. I noticed a boy of me stari ng at the i n'otructor intently, hb head mO\;ng tn .md fro, mou th aja r; a t i mid sort , whom Baku could polish
111 front
r he cour'L'
off for snack any ghen day.

"You," Prof Ouot')' chose me as his nr!.t Ca!>ua lty. It was the nr..t time the condi t ion o;truck me, where tongue li J,es pture unto dental roof, body freezes, blood ,esscls ru
of manula<.turing - l>llt:h a'> weldmg, rnac.hining, c:l'.tlllg, bending an<.l !>hapi ng. Along with the ou tline.:, the handout containcd the.: grading pa t tc.:rn of the.: course.:.
,\/ajon - .JO<Jv
.md sweat bursts out in bucket .

"You, I am talking to you ," the professor clarified . "Ilari, llari.." somebody inside me called but could only get
Ill\' answering
\finor' - lOQo
PrJctic1/s - lO<fJ . A.\ ignment.> (6-8) .md 'urpri\t' Quioe.) (3- 1) - 20%
Prof Dubey noticc<.l the.: limp n.spomc to higreeting and made his voice more exubera nt. "Look at the hanuout la ter. Don't worr), you will get enough of thc'>C, one for eq ry course. Put them aside now," he sa id as he stood up a nd \\al ked tO\\ard the blackboard . li e took out a chalk from his pocket with a floumh celluloid-terrorists reserved for hand-grenades and underlined the word 'machine' approximately six times. Then ht turned to us. "Machine, the basic reason for exi ste nce of an) mechanical engineer. Everything you learn finds application in machi nes. No"; can anyone tell m<. what a machine is?" The class fell even more silent. That's the fln.t lesson: "arious degrees of silence. nyone?" the proftssor asked again as he started walking through tht. rows of studcn b. A-. the <,tudcnton the ai!>les felt cwn more stalked and a\'oid<.d c c contact, I turned around to -;tudy m) new classmates. There rnu1.t have been evenly of
machine. l could ha"c attempted an answer, or at
hast a siiJv 'Idon't know' but it'as if my mouth was AWOL.
"Stra ge," surmi c;ed Prof Dubey dubiou.,Jy a <; he moncl to

.mother student. "You in the check shirt. What do you think?" Check Shirt had hitherto been pretending to take notes to l'S<.:ape th e pro_fessor's glance "Sir, Machine sir ...i s a 1b'ice...like blg parts . sir like big gears and aU..." "What?'' Prof Dubey's disgust fell like spit on Check Shkt. "See, the standard just keeps falling C\'ery year. Our ad mission uitcria arc just not strict enough." li e shook his oiled skull, the one that contained all the information in this planet, mcluding the definition of machines. "Yeah, right. Busted my butt for two years for this damn
place. One in hundred b not good enough for them," R)Jn

"hispered to me. "Shshh," ordcnProf Dub<.y, looking at the three of m, "a nyway, the definition ot a mac.him i!'>implc. I t i., anything that rt.duces human ciTort. Anything. )o, cc the world around \'<>u and it ifull of mach in<. ."
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I0 five PoinOOI!leC'nc l lxuc lkginnin&'> II
Anything that reducehuman effort, I repeated in my head. Well, that ounded simple enough. " o, from huge \td mills. to simple brooms, man ha!) invented '0 much to reduce human effort," the profes<>or continued, a' h( nouced the das-, was mesmen?ed b, his si rnple cla rification. 'irplanc?" '>a Jd on\tudent in the front row. "lat hinc," imtructor said. "Stapler," suggested another. "Machine." It really was amazing. A spoon, car, blender, knife, chair students threw exa mples at the professor and there was only one answer - machine. "f-all in love "ith the world around you," Prof Dubey .,miled lor the flrc;t time, "for vou will become the masters-of machines."
J
"\\11at are you tring to do?" the profc,,or a'kcd tightlipped as he came doc to u., again, "A rl' you .,aymg that I am \\Tong?" "i\:o ir, I 'm just..." "\Vatch it son. In mclao;s, jw.t wall:h it," "a' all Prof Oubc' aid as he mo,ed to the front. "Okay. enough fun. Now, let U'i focus on Man Pro," he said as he rubbed ofT the \\'Ord 'machim.' l mm the blackboard and the six underli nes below it, "my courc is very important. I a m sure manv professors will tell vou about their cour e. But I care about Man Pro. So, d on't mi l> cia-.'>, fini sh your
J
J ;
assignments and be prepared, a surprise quit. ca n drop from the sk')' at any time." I Ie went on to tackle.: casting, Oil(' of the: oldest methods of working with metaL After an hour on hcl\\ iron melts and foundry workers pour it into sand moulds, he ended the session. "That is it for today. Bt"st of luck once agai n for your stay here. Remember, as your head of department Prof Chcrian ay , the tough workload is by design, to hep you on your toes. And respect the grading system. You get bad grades, and I assure you-you get no job, no . chool and no future. If you do wcJI , the world is your oyster. So, don't slip, not C\'C n once, or there
A feelmg of collecti' joy darted through the das'> for e ha\ing managed to convert Prof Dubey' sour expression into smiles. "Si r, "hat about a gym machine, like a bench pres'> or somNhing?" R)an interrupted the bonhomie. "Wha t about it?" Prof Dubey stopped beaming. "That dm.,n't reduce human effort. In fact, it increases it." The class fell o;iJent again. "\Veil, I mean ..." Prof Dubev said as he scouted for a rgu ments. Boy, did Ryan really have a poin t ?
J
will be no oyster, jut
lu h." A shher ran through a ll ol u-. awith that quote the professor slammed the duster on t ht desk a nd walked aw.ay in
a cloud of chank.
"Pcrhapit is too si mple a definition then ?" Rya n said in a p cudo- hel pful \'Oicc.
T lor I}
Five Point Someone : Chapter 2
2
Terminator
TIII:Y sAY TIME FLIES WilEN YOU ARE HAYING FUN. IN Till:.
tint wmestcr olone, " th six courses, four of them with praClll'al classes, time dragged 0 slo\1' and cornato;c, fun \\'3S conspicuous by its absence, Ew.:ry day, from eight to tl\'e, we were locked in the eight-storey insti-building with lectures, tutorials and lahs.The ne:o.:t few hours of the e1ening were spent in the Jil)l'ar)' or in our rooms nwe prepared reports and llnished assignments. And this did not e\'cn include the tests! Eacl1 suhjt'C\ had two minor test,, one major and three 'urprisc quizzes; sc:wn tests for six courses meant forty-two tests per mester, mathC'matlcally speaking. Luckily, the professor spared "-' 'urprisc qui:acs in the first month, citing ragging seuson and the sclll i ng-in period oi' course; but the ragging , ason C'ndcd soon and it meant a qur.t could h>ppen any time. In t'l rt da"1\'e had to look out for instructor's subtle hint ' ab<>ut a pos,iblc quiz in the next class.
Meanwhile, I got IK'tter acquainted with Ryan ,d Alok. !han's dad had this handicraft business that waessentially a swr tshop for potters that made vases for the European market. Ryan's father and mother were both intimately in"olved in the hu incss and their regular tra1'C! meant Ryan stayed in boarding school, a plush colonial one in hill-town Mussooric. Alok's family, I guess, was of limited mears, which is just a polite way of saying he was poor. His mother was the only <'arning member, and last I heard, schoolteachers didn't exactly hit dirt on pay-day. Bcsid<'s, half her salary regularly went to 'upport her husband's medical treatment. At the same time, Alok's elder sister was getting near what he mournfully called 'marriageable age', another cause of major worry for his household. Going by Alok's looks I guess she wasn't breathtakingly beautiful either. l also got familiar with Kumaon and other wing-mates. I won't go into all of them, but in one corner there was Sukhwinder or the 'Happy Swd'si nee his face broke into sunny smiles at proximity with anything remotely human Next to him was the studious Venkat, who coated his windows with thick black paper and stayed locked inside alone. There was 'Itchy' Rajesh whose hands were always scrltching some part of his body, sometimes in objectionable places. On the other side of the hallway were seniors' rooms, including Baku, Anurag and other animals. Ryan, Alok and I often studied together in the Cl'enings. One month into the first semester, we w<'rC sitting in my room d1asing a quanto-physics assignment deadline. "Damn," Ryan said as he got up his easy chair to stretch his spectacular spine. "What a crazy week;classes,assignments,
14 five Point &:>1""-"'c
Terminal.;.. J
more classes, assignmems and not to mention the coming auraction quizzes. You call this a life?'' Alok sat on the study desk, focused on the physics as ignmcnt, head b< nt down and sideways, just rv:o inches above hi's sheet. I le always writes this way, head near the sheet, pen pressed tight between his lingers, his white worksheet> reflected on his thick glasses. "Wha .." Alok looked up, sounding rc1:.1rded. ''I said you call this a lif<'?" Ryan asked, this time lool.:mg at me. I was sitting 011 the bed cross-legged, attempting the assignment on a drawing board. I need':d a break, so I put my pen down. "Call \t what you want," I said, words stifled by a T nic yawn, "bLt that is not going to chaa1gc it." "I think d1is is jail. It really is.Damn jail," Ryn sa:d, hitting the peeling wall with a fist. "Maybe you're forgeting mat you're in liT, the best college in the conntry," Alok said, cracking knuckles. "So? You put students in jail1" Ryan asked, hands on hips. "No. But you expect a .:ertain standard," Alok said, putting his hand up to indicate height. "This is high standard? Working away like moronic drones until midnight.ManPro yesterday, ApMech day before, Quanta today...it never ends,' Ryan grumbled. "I need a break, man. Anyone for a n1ovie?u ''And what about the assignment?" Alok blinked. "Priya has Terminator on," Ryan beguiled. "Then when will we sleepl" Alok said. ''You are one real muggu eh?" Ryan said indulgently to him.
"I'll go," l said, keeping my drawing board aside, "conK' Alok, we 'II do jt later." "It will get late, man," Alok w rned half-heartedh: ' Istood up and took his pen, put it imo his geometry box. Yes, Alok had a geometry box, like h(' was about lwehe years old. "Come get up," I said when I noticed two paintbrushes in his box. "I ley, what are the paintbrushes for?" "Nothing," Alok mumbled. I lifted the brushes, painting imaginary arcs in air. "Then w!Jy Ju you haye them? To giye colour to your ci rcui 1 diagrams/" l laughed at my OWn joke, W3\'ing me brushes in the air. "Or to e. press your soul in the ManPro class? To <Iraw Prof Dubey's frowny face?" "No. Actually, me)' are my lather's. He "as an artist, but he's paraly?.cd now." There are times in life you wish dinosaurs weren't extintt and could be whisded to come and gulp you down. I went motionless, fingers in mid-air. Ryan saw my face and pressed his teeth togcthr to be simultaneously tch-tch sympathetic to Alok and stop laughing at me. "Really Alok? That's aeally sad. I'm sorry man," he said, putting his hand around Alok's shouldt'r. The bastard scorino ' "' over me for no fault of mine.
"It'sok It was a long while ago. We are used to him like ay.
that no"\" Alok said, finally getting up for the movie while I was still hoping I'd e'""porate. When we walked out, Ryan was wih Alok. me trailing six Mep, behind.
"Well, I hm: lh'Cd in boarding ;chool all my life,so I can't really understand. But it must be pretty difficult for you. I mean 'how did you manaJ,>c!r" Ryan continued. "Barely managed actually. My mother is a bioiteacher n,at was the only income. Elder sister is still in college " 1 nodded my head, trying desp<'rately to evint-e ho" empathetic to his cause I was, too. "How do you think I got into liT? I was taking :arc of him for the past two years," Alok said. "Really?" I said, finally getting my chance to get into the conversation. "Yes, every day after school I was nursing him and reading my books." Ryan had a scooter, which made it <'asy for us to !}'I to Pri a It was illegal for three people to ride together in a mple sandwich, but cops 1'3rcly demmded more than twenty bucks if they stopped you. Chances of getting caught wen: less than one in t n, so Ryan said it was still cheap on a probabilit,. weighted basis. Priya cinema at night was a completely different world from our quiet camp as. families, couples and groups of young people lined up to catch the hit movie of the season. We bought front row tickets, as Alok did not want to spend too much. Personally, I think he was just too blind to sit far away. In any case, the movie was science fiction, which I should have guesse-d given R)an's choicr; he always picked sci-ll mo\i(s. I hate ifi mo,ies, but who asks me? This one had time travel, human robot>, lar guns. the works, presented in an unfunny way. In ten minutes, the obocenely muscular hero's heroics looked too sillv to even smirk at, and I was yawning uncontrollahly.
"'M>w!" Ryan said, bringing his hand to his face a$ the ,;Uain launched a torpedo from his backpack. "What the hell do you see in these movies?K Iwhispered. just to jack his trip. "Man, look at all those gadgets." "But thcy'rall fake It is fiction.'' "Yes, but "'C could have them one day." "Time tra,el? You really think we could have time travel?" Ryan's ridiculous when he gets excited. "Hush, it's hard enough to understand the accent guys," Alok objected. \hen we returned to Kumaon at midnight, ,w asses were set on fire, I mean not literally, but everyone [,vm Ycnkat to Sukh"inder were running around with notepads and textbooks "Surprio;e quiz. Strong rumour of one in ApMcc:h." I lapp)' Surd explained as he Furiously riffied through his notes, ror once not electrified at our compan)o ApMech was Applied Mechanics, and apparently, some student in Nilgari hostel had ,;sited the proressoroffice in the evening to submit a late assignment. T11e professor had sinisterly adv:Scd to "keep re oising your notes", waggling left eyebrow at the same time. Enough to ring the alarm as news travelled through the campus like wildt1re. "O..mo. Now we have to study for ApMech. It wiU take hours." Alok said morosely.
"And we hm: the Quanto assignment to finish as well," I

reminded. E'-eryone 5athered in my room to study. It was at t\\0 in the morni":; that Alok spoke. "This whole movie thing was a dumb idea, I told ou."
"l-lnw tcmioa>"
WJS
I to kuowi Anyway, why arc ynu tJking arbit
aw ke and ewn Alok's eyes had started watering.
w., 'till
had
an took oiTen<X. ''It " not arbit. It's relative 1,orading here, 'iO il we don't ,tud\ nd others dQ, we arc screwed," Alok <; ad, mc.sing the la't :,ord so hard cwn R\'an "startled ' )u't th.:n, a mouse darted out from under tn) bed. "Di<l ,ou '<'"'that?" Ryan said, eager to change: the topic. I J<o rcmo;ed his slipp rs, hoping to take aim and strike the rodent down. I Iowc,er, the rodent had other ideas 011 his own demise and dived ditllomatically back under the lx.-d. "Yc,, there arc thc'c creepy mice in my room. Little bastard>," I said, almost affectionately. "You \\Jilt me to kill them for you?" R}an offered. "It\ not that easy. They are too smart and quick," I .,.,;d. ''Challenge?" Ryan s.1id. "I beg you hrothcl-borns, not no\\. Can \W plea<e St\ady?" Alok said, literally folding hi< hands. Till' guy i< too dramatic. R\'an l';L"'-'<.1 back iuto the chair and wore his footwear. lie ' op<ned the ApMcch bcok and exhabJ deep through his mouth. "Yt ir, lc: us mug and cram. Otherwise, how will we become great engineers of this great country," Ryan mocksighed. . "Shut up," Alok said, his face already immersed in his workbook. Ryan did shut up fter that, e,en though he kept benJing
around a third of the course left, but it was n<"ce<sar te> catch sorne sleep lksides, the quiz was only a rumuur. we did not know if it would aetually m.tcriali7.C. But rumours, especially ugly ones, ha,e a WJ)' of coming true. Thirty minute into the ApMech dass, Pro! '-<n lo<kcd the door and opened his blade hriet'ca<e. "Time for some fun. Here is a quickie quiz of multiple choice questions," he said. Prof Sen passed the handouLS to the front row Mudcnts, who in tum cascaded them bacl..ward. Evetyoru in dass knew about the ntmour, and the quiz was as much a surprbe as s11ow in Siberia I took the question sheet and glanced over the questions. Most of them were from recent lcL'turcs, the part of the cour-;e \W could not re'\ise. "Crap. We .1e--er got to the lectures for questjon fiw onward," I whispered to Alok. "\\'e are screwed. let's get screwed m sil<'ncc at least." he said as he placed his held in his 'study' posiuon, left chtck almost touching the answer sheet. We never discmsed the quiz upon our return to Kum on that day. Other students were talking animatedly a!>out some questions being out of course.Obviously, we never flna)hcd the cour e. so we did not know better. We did not have to wait for results too long either. Prof Sen distributed the answ r sheets in class two days later.
to look under thr bed from time to time. I 11-.u ure he wan:ed
to get at least one mouse, but the little creatures smartly maintained a low profile. We finished our Quanto assignment in an hour nJ then re,ised the Ap.Mech notes until fi\"e, by which time Rpn was ;noring soundly. I was struggling to stay
"Five? I got a lh-e out of twenty," I said to Alok, who

nc>o't to me in class.
"Igot >e'-en. Damn it, sevett," Alok said.
ll
"I have three. I low about that? One, two, three," RvJn ' said, otanting on his lingers.
J>rof Sen \\TOte the cu toman summan scor"' em the . blackboml.

Atmgr-: 11/20
1/igh: 17/20
Loll': J/20
Alol. had the highest percentage amongst the three of us, Y,ut t could tell he did not find solatt m our misery. He -.aw h1, score.and he saw the a,erage on the board. l saw hb fK-c, t\d,ting cYcry time he Saw his ,,,ong .ln wcrs. We kept our answer hccts, the proof of our und<'rpcrfonnance, in our hag., and strolled back to Kumaon.
\Vt met at di"nncr in the mess. Tl1< food wainsipid as usual,
lie kept those \\Titten for a few minutes, before proceeding with his l<cture on omiber beams. "I h"c the lowest. Did you c thatr Ryan whi,pcred to me, unmoved by cantilever beam. It was hard to figure out what he was fe"cling at this point. Even though he was try111g to stay cahn and expressionlcs., I could tell he wAs ha,1ng lroubl digesting his result. lie re-read kis qui'it did not chang<' the core. t\lok was in a diiTer<'nt orbit. His face looked ikt 11 hat! on ragging day. He ,;ewed the answer sheet like he had the c.vke bottle, an expression of anXJety mixed "ith sadnc:M. It'in thcc moments that Alok. is most vulnerable, you nudge him JUst a linle hit and you know he'd cry. But for now, the quit nsults were a repulsive enough sight. I saw my own answer sheet. The instructor had writt<'n my score in big but careless INters, like graffiti written with contempt. Now Iam no Einstein or anything, but this n<',er happcto me in :\Chool. My score was fh-e on 1\\Cnty, or t"cnt)-fl,c per cent; I lud never ll1 my life scored 1<.'<< than thr<'< times as much. Ouch, the first qur in liT hun. But rnke Ryan's scores. I won<lncd if it had been worth
.1nd Alol. \\Tinkled his pug no;.:a< he dispiritedly plopped a thick hlob of green substanc.: me""-orkcrs called bhindi m.><.1b into Ius pbte. He slammt-d 1\\'0 rotis on his stainless <t<'d plate and ignored the rcs1of the semi-solid substances l1kct dal, raitJ and pulao. Ryan and I took e\erything; though
enrythiug tasted the $ame, we could at least h ve some \'<'lridy

of tolors 01\ ow plate. Alok finally brought up the topic of the quiz at the dmner tahk. "So. now you don't ha,e anything to say?M Ryan and I looked at each other "Sa\ \\hat?" I said. "That how tnp this is," Alok aid. "Thloud?" I said, fully awarAlok meant otherwi c. "r-Io damn it! Not th(' damn food," t\lok said, "The - p kch quit." Hi> expression changed from the usual tragic "ne to a li\clicr an!'none. If ount! that expression man>inall) b 1\lor, plea'<lnt to look at and ta,ier to deal with. "What abom the quiz? \V'r<' loercwd What is to discuc. in th t?" Ryan simplified.
it for lum to e\en study last night. I was 1\vo point' ahead f
him, or wait a minute, sixty- ix per cent ahead of him, that nude mr fed h<tttcr. Thank god for relative m1sery!
"Oh 1"<-ally. We are scrcw.,<i, no damn doubt in that," Alok
"'iu
llarcfool oo lctl '15
3
:Barefoolon Metal
HI:. QUIZ MISIIAf> REINVIGOJMTEP OUR COMM!TME T
studies for a while. Ryan was quieter when we stuted tn J' ,.,..n,.,.. topt<."S S m.COntrolling his urge to wsc.:ucmc. &- -, . to 'tood to new sd-11 movies, lc.:3 mg to ' fron1 movleS . Though our score> moved closer roducth-e stud)' sesstons. . PI a'-erab"",tgnmeuts can get dull as hell after a wtulc, a" ' c ass you need a break. Ryan often dozed off between or tared unsecingly at the wall, "hispering curses
e'c:' Y time hopened a new book
IU\'C finished
"But why?" Alok said, "I mean, $Urcly you studied a lot to get into liT right?" "Yc,, but frankly. this place ha. let me down. This isn't exactly the <.:utting edge of science and technology as they describe thcrnseh-es, is it? J closed my book to join in the comcrsation. "Boss, mugging is the price one pays to get the HT tag. You mug, you pass and you get job. What let-down arc you talking about?" "Titat is the prnhl m. there is th nupid system anJ there are stupid people like you." I hate Ryan.When he is on his own trip, we all turn stupid. "Continuous mugging, testing and assignments.Where is the time to try out new ideas? Just sit all day and get fat like I lari." Ry;ln doesn't like mugging, therefore, 1 am stupid and fat_ People like him think they arc god's gifts to the world. What's worse, they are. "I don't ba"e any new ideas. And I am not that fat, am I? I said turning to Alok. Looking at htm Iinstantly felt b<.'ttcr. "Fatso, look into a mirror. You should do something about
it.
"It is genetic, saw a 'IV documentary once," I defended weaklv. ' "Genetic, my ass. can make you lose ten kilos like that." I-(c snapped his lingers.
Idid not know where Ryan wasgoing with this, but it could
"Oka, then," he ighcd one day, stapling hts asstgnment.

todJy's crap You guys going to mug more or "Why arc yo u alwap call tht'S crap?" Alok tng
pcrpl xcd. . lake a wild gues>,Ryan said, tossing his asstgnmcnt

th<' table like a used ussuc.
not ha,-c been pleasant for me. Being fat was more appealing to nc than running behind the insti bus or climbing the stairs of these buildings fifty times a day. "Ryan, forget about me. If )'OIJ don't want to mug, should we go to the canteen for a parantha?"
..Boss, this is the problem - II food and oo excrcse. l'w decided, Hari has to go on an exercise routine," R)an !..lid, .umptng u P. "\"- s"rt tomorrow morning then." . '"" .
Rran decided for other people. Idon't know if it ':-as hts good looks or just his good-natured ' nil)' that you dtdn t want tO prick, but mostly he got away wuh tt. "W:!it Ryan, what the ..." Ibegan. "Actually, Alok you should come' too. Interestc d> " . "Go to hell,"Alok muttered as he di,'t'd back into hs books like a squirrel "ith a nut. . 1 thought about losing ten kilos. All my hfc people h d called me Fat-Mal\, to the p<iint where plumpness was part of mv idcntiry now. Of course, I hated that part of In)' idcntil)' 31;d Ryan did seem to know what he was doing. and his own body wa great. Heck, I thought, it was worth a tr)'. "What do 1 have to do?" I capitulated. Early morning jogs around the whole campus,around four kilometers." "No "-ay, 1 can't e>en walk four kilometers," I dismissed. "You wimp, at least try. You'II feel great afterwards," Ryan said. Sure enough, Ryan mercilessly kicked at my door at lh-e a.m. sharp the next morning. Ihate R)-an. Anyway, I pcned the door and he stood there waiting for me to change mto Tshirt and shorts. "Four kilometers?" I"-as drowsy and pitiful at the same time. ''Try, just trr," Ryan enthused. It was still dark outside when I left Kumaon. I was ha,>PY' for that sm ll mercy- no one would see an eighty-kilo
shaped creature bouncing along the road. 1o do th< loJrkilometer route meant reaching_IP(, erc.end of campus.past tbe hostels, sports grounds, insti 6\Jiltng and the faculty housing. I thought I could cheat and cut corners, but I wanted to gi'-e Ryan a chance, not that I hdt('d him any less lor it. M)' entire body groal'led as muscles I never knew existt.'d nude themselves known. In ten minutes, I was panting like a trekker on Mount E,erest without oxygen, and in fifteen, 1 felt a heart attack comingon.. I panted for a few minutes and start d again till I passed th(' insti building and was in the facultyhousing colony. Dawn broke, revealing manicur!'d lawns and picture postcard bungalows of our tormentors in class. I passed Prof Dubey's hous<.>. It was hard to imagine this man out of class, li\'ing in a home, watching TV, peeing, C<lting at a dining table. By no"; I \v:IS wet with sweat <1nd my faCt' beyond red, reaching rare shades of purple.
I stopped, huffing and puffing, when I "'<'nt bump at the knee.Stumbling at the Wlex-pected impact, I kind of whooshed fomard, eJo:tcnding my hands just in time to save myself from a bad fall. I sat stunned on the road, recovering from the shock and breathlessness, and then turned around.
A red Maruti or was the culprit! I continued panting as IS(jUinted my eyes to see the dri,-.:r through the windscreen. %o ""'S trt1na to kill me ..-ll<n I 113$ illt?adv dinu? I b / wondered, waiting for bre<tth to return to normal. 4 1 am so-so sorry," a female \'Oice announced. A young girl, arou11d my gt', in a loose 1:shirt and knee-length shorts, do.thes that one usuall)' wore at home. She kipped forward
lt\
a silly way, which waprobably her attempt to run toward
111e. I noticed she was brefoot.
'Ul Five P..;nt 6ocncone
tlore(oot
011
Hctal Z9
"I am so sorry. Arc you all rigntl" she enquir <l. tucking her hair behind an ear 1 was not ;ill right, and it was her damn fault. Rut when 3 young girl asb a- if he is all right, he can nC\-er admit he
i not.
"Actually, I am sort of tempted to get a drop back to Kumaon," Isaid. 'Sure. Please corne in," she said and chuclded, "if you trust my dri1ing, that is." We got into the car. I saw her sit carefully in the driver's scat, as if she was running the starship Enterprise or something. Then she placed her bare foot on the accelerator. Now maybe it is because Iam an engineer, but that was hot. Bare female skin on metal is enormously se:;;y. There was dark red nail polish on her toenails, with one or two toes encircled in weird squiggly ilver ringlets that only girls can justify wearing. 1 just wanted to keep looking at her feet but she started to talk. "Kumaon hostel, so a student, eh?" "Yes. First year, mechanical engineering. "O>oL So how are you fmding it. college and Cl'erything? Fun?" "Nothing much, just running around to keep up tinle.n
"Yeah. I Jess," I said, !lexing my palms. "Can 1 gh-e you a lift?" shasked nervously, <'Xtcnding a hand to help mt up. I looked at her carefully a' she came closer. Maybe I was seeing a female after a long time or something, bm I thought she was 1cally pretty. And the whole just-out-ol thc-bcd look hiC\\" me. Only girls can look hot in their nightclothes: Alok, for instam:e, loob like a terminally ill patient in his torn '-est and pajamas. "I was actuall) jogging.n I said,holding her hand and getting up as slowly as I could \\ithout being ob-.ious. Who wants to abandon a pretty girl's hand? Anyw.1y, I had to after I \\"3 standing up. "IIi. I am Ncha by the """Y. Listen, I am really sorry," $he said, adjusting her hair again with the hand I had just held. "Hi. I .un 1-lari, still alive o it b okay," I grinned. "Yeah, you sec I am learning to drhe," she sairl pounrur: to the 'J..: sign on the windsc.Totcn. That is understandable, thought, you arc allowt'<l to hit people if you arc learning driw, especially if you are eye-candy. Now to be ,-cry frank, I wasn't hurt or anything. For thinb' she was dri,inoat like two kilometers an hour, and I thi a b
nl)' adipose tissues absorb bumps better dun most IX-'Cipleso '
u the
"So you have to study a lot? What do guys call it lllugging." "Yeah, we have to mug. Some damn profs get this vicious joy driving students nuts...." "My dad is a prof,'' Neba said. "Really?" I said and almost jumped in my seat. I waslucl..-y I did not fully express my insightful 1iews on professors and I was hoping she was not Prof Dubey's daughter. "Yes, I live in faculty housing," she said, The car hd p; scd the housing block. no'v, and we were nearing the insti building. "And that is my dad's office," she said, pointing to one of the dozens cif rooms.
Still, I wanted to milk this moment. "You sure 1ou don't need a lift? I feel really had," she
wringing her h nds.
"Really?" J s;,id again, my mind racing flashback to gauge if l had done anything dJlL could get '""into troubl. "What's his name?" J asked casually. "Prof Cherian.You probably don't know him, he won't take a course until your third year." . Ishook my head. Ihad heard the name, but nc,er seen Prof Chcrian. n,cn I remembered our first class. "Is he the fwad of the Mechanic.1l Engineering depal'tment?" I said, looking austerely away from her feet. Sensing my anxiety. she patted my arm while shifting into d1ird gear. "Yes, he is. But don't be tense, he is the prof, not me. So relax." She burst out laughing as if she knew of my fascination with her feet. We chatted for a few more minutes along the insti-hostel road. She told me about her college, where she was studying fashion design. She had lived in this campus for over ten years and knew most of the professors.
She mtik-d , waH'iglll llcr image still Ooatcu in my head as I reached the Kumaon bwns. Ryan was already waitong there, Joing push-ups or pull-downs or something. He had seen me get out of the car and demanded full e>.-planation. I had to then repeat it to Alok. lnough the exhibited appropriate excitemt'nt, asking me how she looked and e,erything, they also told me to stay away from her, ghen he was a prof':. ofl'spring. But they had neither seen her nor talked to her. I was d)ing to mee t her again, was waiting for the next time I bumped into her and could feast naked feet!
silly at the sight of those two bare-
She apologi1.ed again when we came near Kuniaon, and

askc<i if she could do anything for me. "No, it is all fine really," I reassurc<i her. "Sure Hari? So will I see you again when you jog?" "I guess,"!said, dreading another round of Ryan's training. "Great. Maybe sometime, I can drive you to the deer park outside campus, lots of jo rs there. And you get excellent morning tea snacks there. l owe you a treat," she said. I was nenous at meeting the daughter of my head of dep; rtment again. But her offer, and mostly she herself, was too irresistible. "That sounds great," l said leaping out of the car, "free food is alw.,ys welcome. Keep bumping me."
!.inc Dmwing 33
4
Line Drawing
])ANG IN THE MIDDLE OF TilE f'IRST SEMESTER CAME
Ryan's scooter. His parents sent him a dollar cheque as a Christmas gift as everybody else arow1d them was doing in Europe. Ryan was not a Christian and cared two hoots about Christmas, but loved the cheque and cashed it; 'Of/,1 scootera beautiful Kinetic Honda in gleaming metallic blue. When Ryan got it to Kumaon, aU the students gathered around it to pay homage, but only Alok and f got to park our butt.; on it. It was for two peoplt, but Ryan carried both of us; "e went to class, canteen and qn rare occasions to mo,ies like- the Terminator zipping away 0'1 Ryan's !Gnetic, letting the world watch us in emy and the scooter in probabl" pity, groaning as it was under our combined weight. Meanwhile, classes got worse.The professors kept up the pressure and the OYerworked students worked e\'en harder to
beat the average, thcreby pushing the average higher. We still studied together, but the resolve to concentrate was breaking down. We had managed to reach average grades in a few assignments, but in physic5 we had messed up. One night Alok got a call from home. His father had had ;. seizure or something and someone had to take him to the hospital pronto. Alok's mother had never done this alone and she sounded hysterical enough to warrant a trip for herself to the hospital. Titcre was a strong rWltour of a physics quiz circulating but Alok had no choice. Ryan offered his scooter, which Alok couldn't drive for nuts. Hence Rj-an had to go as well. I did not want to be alone, so I went along. It \-\'35 the first time I'd seen Alok's home. I told you he \vas kind of poor, I mean not World Bank ads type starving poor or anything, but his home had the barest minimum one would need for existence. There was light, but no lampshades, there was a living room, but no couches, there was a Tv, but not a colour one. The living room was where lived ,'\lok's father, entertaining .himself with one of the two 1V channels, close to unconscious by the time we reached. Alok's mother was already waiting, using her sari edge to wipe her te!IJ'S. "Alok, my son, look what happens when you are not here," she said in a pathetic voice that would make even Hitler cry. Man, I could totally see where Alok got his whining talent Anyway, I hired an auto and Ryan and Alok lifted the patient into it. We then went to the hospital , checked him in and waited until a doctor, unfortunate enough to work in an overcrowded free government hospital, saw Alok's father. W e
retunwd to Kumaon at lhree in the: morning cxhau ted and nauseated by hospital smells. or course, you cat\ intagine what ha.ppenu the next day, the phpics quit, that's what happened and we i>CTC\\'ed up big time. We got like 1\\0 on 1\H:nty or some such miserable score. Alok tried to ask the professor for a re-qui7, who Marcd back as if he had been asked for both hikidneys That physics quiz episode br.:>ke Alok a bit. No" he was less vigilant whet\ Ryan distracted us from studies. "You know guys, this "note liT ystem is sick. Ryan dt:dared. "There he goes again," l rolled my eye. We w\:re tn my room. I exp<.'Cie<l Alok to ignore Ryan, but this time he led him on \\ith a monosyllable. "Why?" "Because, tell me, how many gnat engineers or scientists ha'e come out of UT?' "What d" you nwan? Many CEOs and entrepreneurs ba\'C," I said, a mistake as Ryan had not finished yet "I mean thh is supposed to be the best college in India, the best technology institute for a country of a billion. But has
"TiliS is not the USA," I said, signalling Sasi's minions to bring three plates of paranthas. Mffi ha'-e budgets of millions of dollar; " . nd anyway, who cares, I want to get the degree and land a good job," Alok said. asi's was a ramshackle, illegal roadside establishment right outside the IJT hostel gates. Using tents and stools, the alfresco dining menu included paranthas, lemonade and cigarettes. At 1\-o r upees each, the butter paranthas were a bargain, even by student standards. Proprietor Sasi knew the quality of food in the mess and did a \'Oiuminous business sening dozens of studenlS each day from every hostel. We got three p13tcs of paranthas, and the dollop of butter on top melted and produced a delicious aroma. "See, it is not always the money," Ryan said, Oic.:king ash. So IIT cannot do space research, but \\"e surely can make s some cheaper products? And frank!); money is just an excuse. If there is value, the industry wiU pay for research C\'en at liT"
"So what the hell is \vrong then?"I was irritated. r seriously

wanted Ryan to shut up, now that the food was here. 1mean, If he did not want to study, fine, but spare us the bloody lecture, It wreaks ha-oc on digestion. . " at. is wrong is the system," Ryan denounced soundly, undmg l1ke a local politician. Blame the whole damn system 1f you can't figure anything out. But Ryan had more. "This system of relative grading and O\erburdening the students. I mean it kills the best fun years of your life. But it kills something else. Where i> the room for orig!::l thought? Where is the time for creativity? It is not fair."
rn e\'er
imented anvthing? Or made any technical contribution to India?" "Doe n't it contribute in making engineers?" Alok asked, snapping shut his book. I knew that with Alok not keeping us in check, we \\'ere not going to study any more that dar I suggested we go out to Sasi's for p a.nthas and skip the mess dinner Fveryone agreed Ryan continued to muse. ""Over thirty ) ars of IITs. \'Ct, all it does is train ome bright kids to work in multinationals. I mean look at l\1fT in the USA."
l..me
0.-..-,ng 37
"WhM about it is not f:Ur? It gt:ts nlc work, that's !!care," 1\lok shrugged, I.:Jktng break from devouring his ralions. M\\ow, that rhymes," Isaid. , . "S<c your altitude is another problem. You w)n I get It, forget it," Ryan said. . "That rhymes too," I said and Alok and I broke into g ggl . ,., like hell but 1 really w1ntcd h1m 1 knew I "annoytn g '}= to shut up or at least change the topic.That lazy baurd would find any reason to goof off. "SCIC'\\ you," R-.van gestured., dhing back to hiq>late. .. , .... " I said "so what is the plan for the \ltekend? n l)"\vay, , "Nothing, whyr Alok looked up. "V'Iell, we have d1e scooter now." Rvan stayed silent. _ " 1 nudgc d h' dbowuntl 1 '''Hey, stop sulking like a woman he had to laugh. "Yes, we can go, you dope. Connaught Place?" "Why?u Alok repeated. . , "Well, they have this cheap dhabha there with the best butter chicken and we can catch a good Hindi movie.And then mavbc check out some girls in the market." Ryan'seyes were ' exaggeratedly lecherous. . "Sounds good," Isaid, the mention of girls nuking me think of Neha I had not bumped into her again, OU) I should go jogging again. , ''Alok, you;ll come too, right? Or will you m'4 d day?. ''Uh..therc is this ApMech worksheet...an)wscrew It rnan...yes, 1 "ill come," Alok capitulated. We did go to Connaught Place th3t weekend and had qui e a blast.llle mo'ie was what every llindi mo,ie is lil:t-rcgular
l>o' m ts girl, boy is poor and honest, girl's dad is rich and
a crook. Howe\'er, the heroine was new and eager lO please the To\\-ds so she bathed in the rain, played tennis in mini-skins and wore sequined negligees to discos. Since all her hobbies im-oh-cd wearing less or trans rent dothing, the audience lo\'cd het. 'Ine girl's father damn ncar killed the boy who Oirted with his hot daughter, but ultimately the hero's lo,-e and lust pre" iled.The hero had no damn assignments to finish and no fr,; k;profs breathing down his neck. I kno"l these Hindi mmies are dll crap, but they do kind of take your mind away from the crap of real life like nothing else. After mO\e catl'lt" lunch.TI1c dhahha was great as Ryan is ne\Cr \\Tong about these things. He ordered for <?\'eryone, wluch he always does. And he orders big- right from boneless butter chicken to daal to ra nd1as to raiu.The spoilt brat e -cn orders the o,erpriced Coke, I mean, which student orders Coke in restaurants? Any\\r.l); the meal was great, and an O\'er.ICtive desert-cooler sprayed water on our faces and kept the ambience cool. . Tearing his rolislike a famished Unicefkid, Alokgot chatty. "This is too good man, the <:hickcn IS fundoo here." "So tell me, FalSO, did you have fun today or not?" Ryan asked "Uh-huh," said Alok, mouth too stuOcd with food, but he mrJnt yes ...ll1en tell me, why tlw hell do you want to kill your$elf "ith books?" ''A"; don't }"<>U guys stJrt arguing again," I groaned. Ihad enjoyed my day so far and wJtdling these jokers go at it b really not funny after a while_
We arc not arguing," Ryan said, in a tone that sounded like he was Hguing" th me no'" He took a deep breath 'Okay, here is the thing. I ha'-e been thinking." Oh plcl'iC, spare us, I thought. But it was too late. "Guys. these are the best years of our life. l11cy really arc. I mean, especially for someone like Alok." "What, why pccially me?'' Alok was bafficd, nibbling nt a chilli from the salad bo"1. "It brings out the amino acids in your eyes," Ijoked, when he coughed at the tangy spiciness. ''Because," Ryan told Alok, "look at your life hcfore thi. \ mean, Iblow you loYC your dad ami CYerything. But like, )OU were just nursing him and stud)ing for the past two year>. And after college.you'll prob>bha'-e to lh-e \\ith them again right?" "I'll take up a job in Delhi,"Alok nodde<l, a bit mort <oerious now, though his mind was still preoccupied \\ith d1icken breast. "Ex; t ly. so it is bKk to the same responsibilit)' again. I mcall, you will earn and e\'Crvthing, and ma)bc hire a servant. But still, would you he able lo ha,e this kind of fun?" "Ilo-e my parents, Ryan, it is not a rcspo11sibilily," Alok said and stopped eating. Boy, this must have aiTrctcd him Usuall)', the Fatso will not lcaYe chicken for hts llfc "Of course, \ 'OU lu\'e them," Rvan waved a hancl "I mean, \ can understand that e'-en though
'
parents were nice, [ m an they ga,e him everything- the blue scooter, clothe\ from Gap and money for the damn colas at r staurants. His parents had worked their U<CS orr all their . h'-es, started selling nower pots " th two potters, and then nlO'-ed all over India tc make a name until t\vv years ago
\\11cn they went owrscas. They wcren't making any big

monev out there
xct hut '.'anted to keep sonny boy happy. this
spoilt:pig- headed, margmally good-looking ass who did not IO\'C them' "Screw you," I bl sscd. . "Screw you! You don't C\'cn liswn to rne" Rvan <a'1d )cah nght, that when I listened to this id;ot II the tu ne. ' "W h y?" Alok said, getting back to his food. "Idon't know why I mean, I hm:been in boaroing ><ehool when I was SIX Of course like e.-cry kid !hated it and crilcl when
ey left.me
But then, it was at boarding school Igot
e--erythmg. I dtd \\-ell In studies, got noticrd in spom. learnt how to haYC fun and 1"-e well and made my best friends. So, so mewhere down the line 1 don't miss .m ,m anymore J ust L& ki nd of outgrew them.Sure, we meet at \'acation time and they send lctt rs, cash, and everything but..." "Dut?'' "But Idon't miss them." "So you dtln't think that i< \\TOng?" Alok pkk<'u teeth "!leek, no. I mean, lor me my friends are eYCr\'thino, thl'V are m famik Mom and Dad are nice but I d on,t' ' t 1ern Io'c I with ,iMon. how could thi> brat notion:his parents? And his
.l
don't k'l\'e my parents."
"\Vl1at?" lsaid, though I had not wanted to be
Jrl of their
argument. "I!Wid Idon't lo,e m parl'nt<. I< that a big d,al?" Alol raised his eyebrows; tme.l mean, if Alokcould lo\'C his dad, who if you think about' it, is no more than a "egetabk
thr w I lo'-e Ill) friends.I mean, Idon'tJo,-e them, but lion: my fncnd\. . "So you /ot'f! us then Ryan aah> I /olr: )'Ou," Alok '-lic.l in a
lal euo; he , . oh,;ou,ly !>atiatcd, his lighter mood a proof a of lm ro t-glunony bonhomie.
unc: Dr.mn,s 1
"Up yours, Fatso, lo.e you my ass," ltyan said and some heads turned to look at us. Ryan, ho"'e'-er, came back to his earlier theory. uAnywny. my point is, these are our best years. So either we can mug oursch-cto death, or tell the system to stunit." "And how exactly do we tell the system to stuff it?" I enquired. "I ml'an, not like stop mugging completely or something, butl 1ke, let us draw a line. \Ve can study two-three hours a day, but do other stuff, say sports, ha\'e )'OU guys ever played squash? Or taken part in events - debates, scrabble and stuff; an odd mo,.ic or o,omething sometimes. \Vc can do so much at the insri." "Yeah, but Ryan was elated, and he drove us hack to Kumaon at speed that made the tnffic police dizzy. No one stopped us, or rather,
we didn't stop. I covered the number plate with my foot, so that cops could not take it down. After all, this was a
celebration of drawing the line.
Meanwhile, I ran-into Neha at the <:ampus boobtore. 1 had not met her since she had tried to kill me and it wasn't anyone's fault.Mostly that whole jogging plan was a bad idea. 1:\en with th< prospect of meeting Ncha, I just could not wake up. 1 did try once again, but I was late and did not 5ee her car. After that, all my moti\'ation dropped ami Ryan gac up on waking cause I kind of threatened to withdraw lrom his draw-the-line study plan. So, what I'm trying to say is, when Isaw Neha again, it was a nice surprise. "Hi," Isaid, raising my hand to catch her attention. She l ooked at me, and then kept looking, her face expressionless. She acted as if she did not recognize me.Then she went back to flipping pages of the notebooks she had just bought. Now that was hell, I mean, if you are in a public place and say 'hi' to a girl, aU beaming and eerything and she's like 'ha\'e we been introduced?' The shopkeeper looked at rne, as did a few other customers, and I felt like low-life though 1 gave it another try. I mean, just a few weeks ago she was all sympathetic and fricndl)\ so maybe she just couldn't place me. "Neha, it's me! Remember the car accident in tht morning?" I said. "E."cuse me," she said huffil)' nnd departed .
very few people dlo it. And they are the ones
me up. He had to,
with pr rty bad GJ>As," Alok said. "See, I am not saying \\'C top mugging. We just draw the line. A day of classes, then three hour" day of studies and the rest is our time. Let's juM try, just one semester. Isn't it fa!r? A kind of decentralization of education." Alok and !looked at each other.Ryan had a point. If!nc\'er p!Jyed squash in college, I'd probably never play it again. If I did not take part in Scrabble no"I 'd ne,er do it when I had
a job. "I can lr);" I said, mostly to agree with Ryan. lie would not haw opped otherwise anywa}. "Three hours is not enough." Alok was doubtful "Okay, three and a half for our super-mugger," Rynn sai<.l,
"Obyl"
1'1.-' .: cd, hullliS ,-oicc was so meek, it sounded like the
chicKen lw just at<' 'peaking from within.
l.inc Druwln0 43 42 tive inl &<lococte

ll;i; time
the shopkeeper looked at me like I was a regular
"No, tell me why?" I insisted. "The shopkeeper there knowl me and my dad for the last ten yean and they talk regubrly.
sex-otlendcr The girl bumped me and ga\'e me a lift and all <Lmmit.I wanted to scream, e>-en as I bought my pencils and ko>< beets. So I am not that attracti-c and that is reason enough not to recognize someone in public because I guess being friends with ugly people kind of rube ofT badly on you. I had been some sort of .loser in school as well, so this was not total shock. I mean what happened to me oi\CC in my sthool, I don't even want to get into aU that but somehow, I kit >trongt I dott't kno'v, Neha did not look like that kind ol girl. . I walked out of the shop as quickly as possible to get away lrom the humiliation.I was feeling crap. Imean, she could ha\"C at l.,ast said "hi," I thought. I know I am fat and if I were a girl, I'd probahl) not talk to me either. I was walkino alone on
--so?"
"My dad is really strict about
ml!
talking to boys and he
\\ill totally Oip out if he hears Iam friends "ith a student ." "Really? just greeting somco:tel" "He is like that. And ompus rumours always {,OCt blown out of proportion. Please, Iam sorry." She was being a bit ridiculous,!dtought, but I kind of knew where she was coming from. Some girls' dads arc a bit touchy, and with o,cr a thousand boys with their proportional quota of hormones on campus he would be worried. "Well, Ican't see you then anyway, right?" "You can as long as it is out of ompus."
a 1\arro\\ p; th connecting the bookshop to the hostel. when someone tapped my shoulder.I turned around and gw ss who? "Hi," said Neha. Go to hell, wamy instant mcl\tal reflex. But I turned to look M her and daml\, she was pretty. And with that one tiny dimple on her right check !lashing C\'cry time she smiled.. . Now try saying 'go t hell' to that! "Ili Ncha, right?" I said, this time really careful and slow "Of course. I ley, I am really, really, really sorry, I could not repl) to you properly there. There's a reason," she divulged. . N "; girls do this all the time, they think repeating an adJectl'makes it more effecti,e; the three 'rcalhs' were opposed to constitute n apology. ''VIm reason?" I said. "It ijust that, I mean...can we just forget it?"
"
"We li'-e here!"

"Yes, but there is a world outSide. We can go tu the liu Khas market. Do you fed like some ice-cream?" It Is hard enough to say no to pretty girls or to icc-cream but when it's offered together, it is well nigh impossible. I said yes, and she instructed me to walk out the campus gate and walk two blocks to an ice-cream parlour. She would come there a "-ell, but g<l'"C me a fh-c--minute hcadstart, walking sedately behind me. It was completely weird to walk alone that way, and I kept thinking how stupid I'd look in the parlour if she did not show up. At k >t I'd ha'c icc-cream, I thought. Food b aln'IOst os
good as girls.
But Neha did show up and in. lde the C..dburvicc-cream parlour ,he was a different person.
line t'Jr""''\'1 45
"So. Mr Jogger, did not sec muda of \'OU after that d y. Did I sc re you off?" She began to giggle. Girls do thii all the time, say som thing half-funny. and laugh at it themselves. "No, it's just a pain to wake up." "VIII. I was kind of hoping to see you," she confessed. "' ah, looked lilt at at the bookshop." ''I s.Jid I am sorry. Hari," she said, and tOlaCht'd my arm again like she had earlier. I kind of liked that, I mean, which guy wouldn't. You have this pretty girl all smiley and sorry and touching your ann; better than ice-caeam I lei! you. There are two kinds of pretty g rls in Delhi One is the modern type, girls who cut their hair short, wear jeans or skirts, and tiny earrings.The second is the traditional type who wears salwar-kameez, multi-coloured bindi and large earrings. Neha wa< ore the se<..vnd type, and she wore light-blue chihn suit with nutching earrings. However, she was not a forced
traditional type, like fat girls who
''Three hours? Pretty braw I must say. Guess you arc undcrestirr.ating the prof.and their lo,-c for as,ignments," she said, scraping up whatC\er remained in her cup. I shrugged my shoulders. "Anyway, you tell me about ourself. Learnt dri\ing now?" ")es, I c,en got a licence," she chirped and opened her bag to show it to me. She started taking stuff out of her handbag and a million things came out - lipsticks, lip balms, creams, bindis, earrings, pens, mirrors, wet tissues and othr stuff that one can live without. She found what she was looking for e.-cntually. "Wow. Neha Samir Cherian, female, 18 years,I read her name aloud.
"Hey, stop it. You are not supposed to notic-e !.-.dies' ages.
"That is for sixty-year-old women, you are young." I returned her licence.
have no choice but to '<lear
"Still, I like chivalrous men," she said, repacking her bag

and the million belongings.
I did not know if it meant something. I mean, did she.want me to know what kind of men she liked, or did she want me to be like the men she liked, or did she like me. Who knows? Figuring out women is harder than topping a ManPro quiz. "Samir, isn't that a guy's name?" "It is my brother's. I decided to keep it when I got this licence made." "Really? What does your brother do?" "Not much," she shrugged. "l-Ie's dead." Now this was unexpected. I mea "I, Ijust thought I'd tease r on a mannish middle name and everything but this was lurning hea''Y "Oh!" I said.
Indian clothes. Neha was just line, and actually way out of my league, " th her long light brown hair, which she mostly ldt open, a curl cabpulting carelessly on to her forehead. Her face was completely round, but not because she was fat or anything, just a natural cute shape. I just kept looking at her as my strawberry ice-cream melted. "Friends?" "I guess so. You know, when you ignored me there, Ifirst thought it was because of the way I am." "What way are you?" "Nc,-er mind," I said. I told Ncha about our harebrained scholastic plan
"It' tine rcalh-, he died one year ago. We were ju$t two
years apart, ;o )'OeM imagine how close Iwas o him." Inodded my head Her beautiful face was turnmg sad and I "ished I could do omething clownish to change subjects "lio" did it happen?" I asked, for it seemed the polate dting to do. . "A freak accident. lie was cros ing the ratl-tracks and got hit by a train." . I wondered if I could take a chance and hold her arm hkc she had a few minutes ago. I mean, that Is how shallow was. She was all choked up and C\'Crything, but all I could thtnk of was if 1 could make my mo,-e. . Ishifte d my hand closer, but she starded me by talklllg again. "life goes on, )Ou kno'v. lie was m)'only sibling. so that is kind of tough. But life goe on, n she repeated, more to herself than to me. I pulled my hand back. I scned this was not the be t moment. "lee-cream? C'mon let us do round two," she said brightly and went up to the counter without waiting for me. Sh returned " th these two bigsundaes, and she was smilingagain. "So he had a train accident? In Delhi?" L ," "Yes. You don't think -w at can 1 tappen. she asked challengingly.
"No....o."
1.
"1-la\'C to go." she jumped up. "Shall we walk back?" "Yeah Separately though right?" I was catc hing on fast ")b, sorry please," she said in mock-baby tone that girh lapse into at the slightest provocation. I stood up, too. "So, Hari?" "So what?" "Aren't you going to ask me out or what?" That stumped me. I mean, of courc I'd wanted to but thought she'd say no for sure and then I'd haw felt Tap all night. I would have been satistlcd with the icc-cream and ''"'')'thing but this was kind of neat, and now I had no choice anyway. "Huh? Sure. Neha, would you like to go out...with me:?" She had made it pretty safe for me, but I tell you, the tlrst time you ask a girl for a date, it is like the hardest thing. Almo5t as stressful as ,;vas. "Yes, of course I "ill.Meet me at this parlour next Sanmlay, same time as today." I nodded. "And next timedon't be this shv liT bov, ) ust ask." ' ' Ismled. "So, what arc you \\'3!ting for? Lea'-e no":" A demure fh-e- minutes ahead of her, I pleasandy dwelt on mechanics of the female mind, \\'addling back into hostel.
"C'mon tell me something cheerful about your hoste . ' I tOld he r about Ryan's ooter and how \\'C over-;peed on . it and things. 1twahardly ll lteresttn g, bu chan....A the topic , We talked about other things until dusk and Neho's internal
clock went off.
IMe
N..-.tc
not Wnr 49
No, the Gull war did not pcr nally imitc our iowOI\'enwm hut it w01s a big bang that Sll'allowd our llrst scmesttr majors,
a c;a!Olly'>t for all our compctiti"c, macho instincts.
5
Make Notes not War
u .S WAS GUNNING FOR IAAQ,TAKING AS ITS nRSt
UALTI our majors, or end-semester C)(lltnS. Thousands of
But before that let me tell you of the glory days of the short-liwd 'draw-the-line' polk)'. As per plan \\'C studocd for three exact hours c\'ery day. mostly bte unto night, which nlCant we had the C\-enings free for fun. "lloc best game C\'Cr in"cnted," Ryan said as he rook us to the squash courts despite Alok and me looking like guys wloo 11('\'Cr came ncar a mile of a squah court. "ll1is gam" II rest your mind, and burn some of that f.a ofl.n Ryan, who had been the squash captain in hh school, tossed warm-up shots in the court. Unless you arc like a dlampion or something, you probably know how diOicult the damn game is. 111e rubber ball jumps llOWld like a frog hogh on upper.., and you jump around it tO
kilometres from our campus, a despotic dictator anne1'ed another smaller despotic dictator's countr y It just so happened that both . countn cs I1a' heaps of oil and that made the whole world take v .ce. N.nxt, the world's most powerful country asked the nou .. dictator to get the hr\1 out. Dig dictator refused and \'Cr)' soon it became dear that he would be attacked. So, what.the hell did this have to do " th the three o''" at liT, you'd think.If this was one of Ryan's stupisci-1\ mo,cs: the three of us could be like in,olvcd 1n a consporacy, usong.thc liT lab to pro,ide superior weapons to the CIA or somethong. But this was not S(.i-11, and the three of uconsidered o rselvcs lud.) to complete the ManPro welding assignment on tome, let alone pro\'ide superior war technolo
try and connect it to your racket. Ryan had played it for yNrs and Alok and I were hopeless at it. I mi;.connecting th., ball
to the ucket fi,c times in a ro'v, and Alok did not e\"Cn trv moving
&om hos place. After a while, even I gaw up.Rpn tried to keep the game going as we stood like C"'tr:l pillars on court "C'mon guys, try at least," Ryan called out. "I c.tn 't do this," Alok said aoid sat down on the court.Thl' &")'is uch a loser. I mean, I could not play squash for mots, but at least I won't sit down on the court:. "Let u;s try again tomorrow," Ryan said, optimistic to ay the least. He dragged us to court for ten days in a row, but Alok and I got no better. found it hard enough to even spot wher.-
dlt' ba!l had gom;, let alone chase it.
')() r"" 1'-.ntb:o<'<"'

uncontro a
' d I' man " Alok id pbintively, panting uRvan we can t o t us ' . 1 bly "If vou reall) want to phy this, why don't you 1,
'
lind other partner ? 'd "Why? You guys arc getting better," Ryat\ sat : 1 tb' . ears t thought grun Y. Yeah right, maybe tn trt) Y ' "So ou don't enjo) this?" . Wha"as Ryan thtnking? l:.njoy? EnjoJ? I was Ill dang r ot tcarino th 3l b;"!II to rouohlv llfn- pieces. ln , "Not,.really" 1 ventured mildly. . L don't have to co this. I mean, 1 can gi\'C "Fin1.. u 1en, " e up squash,'' Ryan said . "No that not. ." Alok atd. . . ' d 1 rguing \\1th lum. It R'-:\1\ had already decid e , no pom a 1. , d ' r d5 1 stand thouoh I <ll ' " was his whole 'where my .ricn go. .go . of felt bad making him give up hilayounte sport. "You can play with others," Isuggested . "Others aren't 0\)' friends," Ry:m said in a firm \'Ota! tlhaft k d I s1 I ;:s-and we e t ru sounded like the fmal word. AI o . an the court. After hess uash came something tamer and 1 a l\1!, c ess . sq 1\IS one, for' unhkc squash, AIok an d I felt somewhat up to t .L res But R an . ld at least touch and mo'-e me game pte . '. \\e cou . bo t bumpn o usua IIy won, and I would never be pas toJ\ate a u off plastic pit.-ces like him. . . . an's Apart from chc s. we spent our free tune ndmy \Vtt feeling ;he llerce wind "hisue through our atr. . scooter, . .. , . rist destination 10 caught cveq new mo,e, 1'\Stte<l clef) tou . "-lh' did C\'ef)'thing, went e--er where. 1 .t "' 'th' u\e three hou '-"' For the most part, we manageu une WI m . '' k longer lea"'' assigt\ed to tudies.Sometimes aSSignment s too '
no rinll' lor re,ision. TI1at worried Alok, e pedally when the end-semester ex.m1s edged closer, and he suggested iiiCrN,ing the limit And we would have if it hadn't been for one thing - the afore-mentioned Gulf war. Now wars happen all the time and India alone: has fought more tha n it can afford. But the Gul f war was dilli:rent, as it came right on TV CNN, an American news channd, had JUst opened hop in Ind ia and brough t the deserts of Iraq right into our T\' room. "This is CNN reponing li1e from the streets of llaghd.td. The sky is lit up with the ll.rst air raid," a well-groomed person tolJ u. Alok, Ryan and I looked up from our chess game. 1t \\J\ scn>ational, Sp!'Ct;tcular ond unlike anything we hau<''er Sl'Cn on TV. To put it in context, this was :X.fore cable or any prn-atl! channels came to India. Until then we had twn cru111mv go,crnnant channels in which wom('n played obsol tc ln truments and dull men read news for insomni acs atKI retards. Colour had onl)' arrhed two years ago, and most programs were still black and white. Then, in one quick wrek,
we had the glitzy, jazzy and Ike -
CNN.
"Is this real? I mean is this happening?" Alok lookl!d dai.<!<I. "Of course, FatsO. You think this is a play?" Ryan scoffed as two American pilots hi-fi,cd tlwmselves after hourof pound ng a perfect!real cit):A CNN reporter .1sked them questions a'"ut their mision. The soldiers told about bombing a godown, and taking down a po\1-er station that g<l\'C electricity to Baghdad "\Vol\, the Americans arc gorng to win this," Alok said. "Don 't underestimate the Iraqis, who ha,c fought war' for ten years. Americans an just pounding from the air," Ryan satd.
"Yes, but America i'too powerful Saddam hasn't a due. "He doc. wait till a land battle happens." Ryan defended. The war sucked us in like quicksanu, Alok and Ryan really into 'who
1S
got
going to \\in this' IJnd of crap. I mean, you
stop doing that when you arc twelw I think (Superman or Batman?), but there was no stopping them I lik('d watching the war as well, though I primly rook no sidl . Iraq wa> IJnd of anonymous then, and we unabashedly cheered on Americ:';l liT carld about America. Most of our foreign aid came from rich American llrms and quite a large percentage of our alumni went on scholarship there and for jobs, constituting a chunk of the hrain drain. So, ttnsurprisingly, our heart bled for the US At 1.he same timt>, the war ,;suals became mou: gruesome. i\mc1 icans pounded Baghdad non-<top, and Sat!dam hid him"lf deep in orK of his oil well, I think . Man) times, Americans htt dvilian targets and people dicu anu e\'crything, and that was crap. I mean, thr aid to liT was floc, but how l.'an you ju_.,ti" bombing kids? But then, Saddam "'"-kind of this lo er General anpvay, and apparent!} shot his own people when he wa grumpy. Oh, it was impossible to take sides in the Gulf war. And it w..1s all pointle.s for us any,,ay. These guys would realil<' this soon. "Man, the majors are eight da)HW3)," Alok llnally said one day. "We'w got to witch ofl' the "IV" "\Ve still srudv three hours though." Ryan ')UiTkcd an eyd1row. "Screw three hours' It's not enough,'' I conuibuted. "( tltink Iraq will "in," Ryan said
"Drop it, m.tn. Amerka has bmtccl him," Alok said, "'<> piNse I beg you Rprt, kt's >tudy h<lorc "c're bu>tcd t<Jo." "Net yet, ground battInot done yet," lw said righwou_,]y Luckil\', the war ended fl,e day> bd(re the majors. o\nwrka won hig-timt, and Iraqi> .tlc tTOw before ground batlle. SJrklam lcl't Kuwait alom and t\merkans were happ' all the oil in tlw \\Orld wathci" to burn and Rvan did no; eat lor a day or ;.o. . "Tbi, i\ not fair Real wars arc fough1. on the ground," h \\'aik'<l a;. we started re\isions for the final tests on our room. "Shut up, Ryan. Americans got what tbey w:mted Now can "" study?" Isaid. "Unfair man. US is a schoolroom bully." "ApM c:h, ApMcc:h" Alok muttered like a nt.llltra.
and the war - all ate into our studying hours. In the ln-c clays before exams, we tlroppcd the three-hour rule, well we had to; the heaps of courSl' material was un-doable 'Co tf we tudicd thirty hours a day. It was important w clamp down on Ryan and we studied until three in the morning every d..1y and passionately prayed India would go to war on rh morning of our flrst majors.
Squash: chess
A day be lore the majors were practical test. It was the onh part of the course H.ya n enjoy{'d, and he dragged us arly the physics bb. We were in the same group and had to conduct Jn electrical setup and then 3Jh"'Cr questions in a ,;,01.vo<.:e. We got a rcsistanct\'Oitage relationship testing experiment. I hated practical rests. Mo\t of oil, I dreaded the ,.,, 01.\'oce. I don't know if I told you about my condition; it strike., me
t;
5 rive 11oinL &ll>CO<le
. . "hl'ne>-er someone Ioo me m the " '"" and asks me a q uestion -' . :..1\ body freezes, swe.1t beads co'-er me brO\\ to grom, nd I '\ lose nw sc r' = of,oicc llow I hated \'ha:tnd when Ryan ''a 1 all excited assembling the circuit for the Clo.perimcnt, I hatN hin1 too. ' "Hey guys, watch ttis," o . ao S<>od holdin!! the circuh , ,y components in his hand o\lok looked up from his not<'bonk. . . Ryan spent the next ten minute> conncctJng rcsostor., capacttor.,S\,'itc hes Jnd COJhls to each other.It was completely s1
lhat is Ryan. The guy "ill do de >t:r t.hings but only Jt the wrong tnne and-11Tong place.
Alok pJnicked, too. "The vi'is in tw nty minutes, boss."

Ryan ripped off his circtlit and looked :lt ui n disdain as if we were tone-deaf listeners who had rejected lhe Mozan. \\b just about managed to finish the circuit on time when Prof Go,al walked in. "Hmm...," the Prof said tugging at the circuit wires. Ryan had made the circuit; he IVOlS good at thi,, \\'C trusted him. "So, Ryan what will happen if I change the 1 00-ohm rcsi tor \\ith a 500-ohm rC',istor?"
"Sor, \\'C would ha\'e higher voltage across, though there would he a higher heat loss as well."
unconnected to our cxperimem and Alok was &eriou y gewng wor..icd "Rvan, can you please connect the resistor-,oluge serup so . I) we can sta rt our e,. ,- n .rimcnt?" Alok r 'aid. "Wait FatSo, we hal'c two hours to do the cxpenment. o a )" tIlC\' I 1J\"C i'l Slnai t spe ker h rc Rl'an fumbled through the .
"llnun.." Prof Goyal scratched his chin in response, which lllt'ant Ryan was right.
_;.'Ct
component box. "

"What do yo.nc:ed a speaker for?" lsaid el'en as Ryan found one and made the final connection 't "!or thist Ryan said and S\\itched I)IS crcuo on. He mo,ed a few connection. and soon Hindi music came from tl,c spe;,kco
..ChJr aaya mt'ri1 p3rdesi.." . ..\Vhat the hdl!" Alok jumped as if a ghost had slummered
"So AJok, how do you read the 5tripes on thiresistor to the ohm resistance?"
"Sir, the red stripe is a I00-ohm, then 10 for the blue, implqng I J 0 ohm." Our A, oup was doing well. BtH Prof Goya.l was not done Dcspitl' my frantic bopes, he turned to me. "So llari, if I add another resistor on top of the 110 ohm resistor, what happens to thcurrent flow?" A trick question. The l\Jrrcnt flow dependon how on connectthe new resistor, in <'nes or parallel. In 'Cri. the current ""ould drop. In pJrallcl, il1\'0uld increase. Yes, thiwas the answer. 1 think so, right?
I had recited the aru;wer in my mind. But Prof Goyal stared
into the lab. . " . "' "It rs a radio, st:l.opid," Ryan said, eyes all ht up, I kne .. II'C had a ll the parts to rna k one. e "Ryan," J said, as firmly as possible. UVJha.t?t, "\Vc are ha,;ng a damn major here," Isaid.
at me and me :.Jon(' while asking the question, not iurprising
'X> l'ivc floullomeoo1e 6
llake Note< 1\ol War 57
<in<:e
I he prellxt.'<l the quc\t wtth m ta " ns 3 good facsimile ton
ofm)'M M sr..." 1 quivered as my Ita ncI started to shiver. Y t condition was upon me. "What will happen tO the.- current flow?" "Sir..I...sir," I >aid, inexorably tumbling towa d. tot.al .. I mean I toullv knw the answer but what If It was )SIS paraI . ' h wrong? I tried articulating, but dte thou,ohts did not cas mto words. . "Sir, the current flow depen..." Ryan intervened, trymg to
, 3vc
the s\t\lation. Prof Goyal raised his forcfmger. . " "Quiet, I am asking your group member, not )OU. I shook my head and lowered it. There was no use, Ihad
given up. . f h' ''t-lmm..." Prof Goyal said, not st.ntchmg any part o " r "-rt.e standard of this instittlte is going down day by day. tace. " What are you, commerce students?" Calling an liT-ian a commerce student was ne of thworst insults the profs could accord to us, like a prosutute lhng her client a eunuch. The institute was the temple of soence and anyone below standatds was an outcaste or 3 commerce student. Prof Goyal scribbled a C+ on our group experiment sheet, d tossed it at us. Ryan caught it, I think. . an \Ne did not ha'-e much of a chance to d'ISCUSS the physcs . xt practicals, as the maJors start ed the ne. d.ly I had . e\en ezvouwith Neha unul after the postponed my nel(t rend . e,:ams. I had called her ont.-e' getting her number from the f ltj'S internal directorr She freaked out, telling me llot .to '' "e cacuhotne without notice. How the h eII was I supposed to all
lter notice? AnywJ), we had ll..wu to meet tile day after my majors. Majors were when c, ryonc studied in Kurmon, lights remained on in rooms until dawn, people rarely spoke - a11d then only on matters of life or death -and 'Onsumed endles cup'of tea in the all-night mes). l pn, Alok and Iscrambled tO re,ise our six courses. Thl' exams schedule was three continuous days. leaving little time to discuss the tests. Iknew I had done flne in some tem and screwed up some. Alok had de1eloped a permanent scowl and Ryan could tnaintain his laidback air only with the utmost elTon; no jokes, majors blow tbc wind out of anyo11e. ManPro, ApMech. physics, mathematics, chemistry and computing. One by one, flnished them. When majors ended, it did se<'m like the worst \\'aS 01-er though the results comonlv after two weeks. ' Those tt\'0 weekbetween the end of majors and the re$ults were bliss. E'-en though the second semester began, no one really got into the new courses until!hey knew how they'd done in the llrst semester.The profs were busy evaluating testS, going easy on new assignments, giving us plenty of time to kill. Ryan upgraded us from chess to crossword puzzles, taking us from cryptic clues to rhyme words to anagrams.
Meanwhile, I met Neha again on a summery evening early into the second semester even though she had short-circuited when I called her. It was the same ice-cream parlour, "God, are you crdzy or what, calling at home?" she greeted. I didn't know what to sar I thought I'd been pretty cool to think of getting the number from d1e profs directory and
C\-erythin .
"How else am I to reat:h you? ''My p.lf0:11t' n:\l.'rl' strkt about m !_,>etung t:JII'> from .. bo\'!-. I couldn't tell her, "Your parents sound like regular ps)chos," w in JJOI>.<txjuitur, 1 asked, "Jtrawberrv1" She was wearing a demure white salwar-bmee?. that da)\ he held my hand as she took the cone from me. God, she is beautiful , I tell you. "S() how am l wpposed to reach you?" "Ol!J me on the I Ith." A pink tongue darting out to catch some melted cream from reaching the ;round had disoriented me. "lluh?"
"Well for now, that L< the on! safe date," she said and laughed, "why? You want to talk more often?"
I did not answer her. I mean, r just thought it weird that lcould <:all her only on that one dara month, like I had a dental appointment or something. But girls are weird, I was learning. "So tell me," she said tapping my hand again to change the topic, "how were the majors?" l lo,cd it when she touched me in anr way. that'how deprived or dcpa,cd I wa; I almost forgot her queMlon ln the aftermath of the tiny localized tremors exploding on my skin's
surface.
"Uh majors... nothing great. Results come in one week or so." "Did well?"
"Jw.t call me
on the l I th of any month." Now Ncha b beautiful and everything, but she can be pretty
"Not reall)' "

"You want me to put in a word to Dad to increase your grades?" ,he said. "Can you?" The pinkness etweloped me. "I'm kidding." Of cours. She giggled as if she had got me. Like I though t belic,'Cd she could help me with my grades or something. Girls lo\'C laughing at their own jokes but Neha amused is better than Neha looking around furtively. I uddenly leaned forward, bringing my face close to hers. Catching her breath, Sfifling that laugh and pink tongue, she watched me wide-eyed. l remo"ed the wallet from my back pocket and sat down casu.illy again.
loony at times "What? Why II"'?" "BI!cause no one is at home that day. You ee, my brother died on II h May. So on e,ery I I"' my parents go to this temple near the rail-trackwhere he died. They are gone most of the day." "Really? And you don't go?" "l used to. But it used to remind me of Samir a lot. I'd be depressed for days afterward and the doctor told me not
tO
go."
She said it matter of factly,as if she were choosing an icecream fla\'our. h was strange, but a hell of a lot better than her gt:aring up to cry or something; Ican't stand people: who cry in public.
'"Onlv on 1 J '"?"
"What happened?" I asked idlr

"l thougln... nf!\er mind." She blinked. Ha, gotch.1.
"So all of us arc five-pointers," I said, as if making a particulary onsightful comment. "C'ongrats Alok, you ha'-e topped amongst us," Ryan said. Topped amongst U>, I thought. As if we were.' the high-brain society or something. 11u:se were pathetic grades: we ranked in the high 200s m a dass of 300 students. Alok rccakulated his sc:or<.>, hoping for some miracle to hJ.ppen on the calculator. But rnirads never hapf'<'n in l!T, only c.:rap grades do. "Screw that. Bloody hdl, I am just a 5.88. This is so below
a\'cragc.n
6
five-point omething
"T
HI:Y'RE OL'T'" ALOK SAID,SHAKING RYAN'S SHOULDER
"We knew that, right?'' Ryan said, "Whatcv r. Alok, let's celebrate this over chicken." "Cdebrate!" Alok spluttered. wl ha'"'just screwed up any d1ancc of getting a US scholarship or a good job and you want to bloody celebrate?" "Grow up, Fatso. What do you want to do? Mug more in mourning?'' Ryan was calm. "Fuck you," Alok said. It was the first time he had used the 'F' word. fTom him, it sounded peculiar, I mean he is still a kid. Ryan's calmness vanished faster than a prof's smile. "What did you say?" he tumed toward me, "What did the r:auo say?'' Why was the bastard dragging me into this? Ryan had damn well heard what Alok said. In fact, all the twittering studenu MOund us had heard it too. "C'mon guy.let's take the show to the hostel," I pleaded. I don't care if they kill each other, but privacy I insit on.They were in no mood to let go and for a moment I thought they Were going to ignore me and have a flsticuff right there. Someho\\; I knew this wasn't one of the regular Ryan-Alok
on a Saturday morning as if India bad won the World Cup or nude women were rolling on the gnss outside. "The major results are out!" "I want to sleep," Ryan said, burrO\\ing deeper under the quilt that Alok eventually succc<'ded in tugging off. We reached the insti where a crowd of students had gathered to see their first t of grades. From thone could determi ne their llrst grade point average, or GPA, on the I 0point scale. 1l1e topper would be dose to 10.00, while the a'-cragc would be around 6.50. V..'e, however, wencloser to the bottom. Oicking through the scientific calculator, Alok caiC\olated our scores. "Ok, Hari is at .5.46 and... Ryan i$ at 5.01 and I ...I'm at 5.88," i'o.lok said.
&'l
rtvC Point &w:c-oc

their basic character class, study tol}'thcr and cat together, quiet as mice.Maybe our grades would impro'oe as well. It really isn't tim important for people to talk. But my ro>)' fa11tasy of silence was nnally broken by Ryan. "So, you are not going to Jpologi e'" he asked belligerently. "Apologize? Me? It is )'Oil who should apologize Ryan," Alok said. "You are the one who said fud you' in front of t.hc whole damn insti," Ryan said, "and I should pologize? Hari, can you belic,-e this? I should o pologi:tt.'." Now this had nothing to do "ith me, so I ignored Ryan. let the two nuts figure it out amongst themselves. "You just don't fucking get it do you?" Alok said, going th(! 'damn' way with 'fuck'. Ryan kept silent. "Get what?" I said. I mean, I really wanted to know what I was missing in this moronic COO\-ersation. "Ge:this.Today I got a GPA of 5.88. Damn it, a 5.88.Q,er 200 students ha1-e done IY-tter.Do you know in my twelve years in school I never even got a seco11d rank." In most partS of the world, that would be a pretty loser statement to make. To announce that you were like this nerd in school is hardly something to be proud o( But that is Alok for you. "So?" Ryan said, "your insti grades arc bad. And who cares llbout how much you mugged.Why the hell should Iapologize?" "Because damn it...because it is your damn fault,'' Alok said and stood up. Now that was whacko. Poor Ryan had just managed to scrape a five, and now he was getting crap from Alok.
arguments; this had, at its core,
contrasts. "Let's go,I said a_g< in and they dragg.:d their feet back to thc scooter. Ryan rode us bad to the hostel as rashly as he possibly could, intentionally going over e1-ery bump on the road. He has his own strange way of sulking I tell you.
We sat in Ryan's room after dinner, we had not spoken a word since the insti. I had thought a little about my little GPA. ' s. a fi1-c-pointcr l\'35 pretty crap. From now on, c-cry prof would know that I was a below average student and that would influence my grade in future courses.I kne-v a few fil-e-pointers who were panned at campus recruitment last year. TI1is was crap, how did Iget into this situation? Was I just not smart enough? At the dinner table, other students were either plain morose or extremely excited. There was the studious nkat, who ne1er left his room and was always quiet at meals.Today, he was smiling. He had a nine point fh-e. lie sat next to Alok, and told his stories of topping in four out of six courses. Alok wns talking only to him and totally ignoring us. There were others too. Even the Smiling Surd in our wing had managed a respectable seven point three. I think the thr<?e of us were the lowest in Kumaon or something.I could have mulled more o,cr my future, or rather the lack of it, but Ry;ln and Alok's swollen faces filed my immediate 1ision. We trooped into Ryan's room and sat CJuietly for half an hour or so. Nobody opened a book. looked at each other or said a word. I wondered if we "-ere going to stay quiet fore-er. I mean, that couldn't be ;uch a bad thing. We could Jttend
64 five PocalcSomeone "fault?" Ryan said and stmed laughing. "Hari, listen to this. FatsO sa-eo.vs up his grades and it is Ryan's fault. J\ ,13ulr. Hey Alok, have you gone nuts or something?" "Say someth:ng,Alok beseedlcd me. "Say what?' I looked away hom both of them. "II is okay. If Hari does not have the guts to say it, I can. You and _your ideas, Ryan. Study less, draw the line, enjoy th<.' best years, this system is a machine, crap, crap and more crap all the time: Ryan stood up from his chair as well; I think it gi---cs you an edge in the argument if you stand up, kind of more seriou and purposeful. "I know you are upset and everything but there is no need to overreact. Just some stupid grades. " "Iam not overreacting," Alok said and sat back down. nd it is not Just stupid grades for me. I don't have my parents earning dollars like yours. I came to this institute with a purpose.1o do well, get a good job and look after my parents. And you have fuclced it up." Another F-word; Alok was still upset Iguess. "Stop safng fuck all the time," Hyan said. "I will say whatever Iwant. That is the problem. No one can say anything to you. You propost- something, Hari blindly agrees and wc all end up doing it. You are just a spoilt brat. Someone who wantS to do whatever he want:S "1thout carinl! for his friends. "What? What did you ju;t say? That I don't care for my fritnds?" Ryan said. Though his voice was notched at a menacing pitch, I noticed his hands starting to shiver a little bit.
t'we po<nl cSon>elhi'\3 65 "No. )ou don't care about anything- not studies, not the in>ti, not your parems and not your friends. You just want 10 have your fun.n "You're crossing the line here," Ryan warned. ''I am drawing the line for a change. From now on, I am not gomg to hang out with you anymore, it is official." Now it was prc:ty dear that Alok was O\"Crreacting. "What are you saying, man?l said. "No drop-shrop it.I have listened to you guys for the enure first semester and screwed up e-wything," A lok said. "So what are you going to do>" "Like Isaid, no more hanging out with Ryan. From now on, I am going to be with Venkat. l-Ie has agreed to let me study with him. He got a nine point f.ve you know?" I felt disgusted. Nobody in Kumaon talked to Venkat; gi\'en a choice he wouldn't talk to himself. I le had a good GPA and e\ rything, but he was hardly human. Venkat woke up at four in the morning to squeeze in four hours of muggins before classes. Every evening he spent three hours in the library before dinner. Then after dinner, he studied on his bed for another couple of hours untii he went to sleep. Who on earth would want to be with him? "You are sick Alok," Ryan said, "you are just one sick person." "My :Rdes are important to me. My fimtrf' i< impon. 11 to me. Docs that make me sick? I went to Alok and put my arm around his shoulder; kind of felt he needed comfort during insanity. "C'moo Alok, we can study more..."
11\e-p:oint &>aelhin,s 67
"Stop c'mon-Aloking '"C, will you?" Alok pushed 1\l)' arm away. ,-oice all wobbly. "Enough is enough," he s. id, hb face contorted cxacth like his moth r's. ' J'his heredit y factor fascinated me; was there a how-to-cr gene? Or wathis something he had picked up while gro\\ing up? Maybe Alok's family all crild together sometimes; mother, sister and himself bawling away with his father, who oould still prO<luce tears from one eye. "You don't understand that I haVI: r sponsibil1lics. I have to do well to support my familf Half my mother's salary goes for my (ather's mcdi<:inc. She has not bought J new sari for her< If in lh-e years," 1\lok said as he choked on hitears. He needed to blow hi> nose. Ryan sat down to watch Alok, intrigued lie could take 'fuck yous' ten a minute, but crj<lng was a different game a!to :,octher. And the who!on<' >aree-in-fl,cycar.< wa tough lO argu<' against. I mean how do you argul' with th.lll Ho" many sarcC> a year ;, reasonable? I don't kno"\ and H.yan for sure had no damn due. ':And my sister needs to be marriedt Alok went on, "everyone is counting on rne. And you guys don't understand. Ryan wants to plav c:hess, sec TV, enjoy his years. I hate enjoyment." "Will it make it h<>tter if I say sorry? l mt>an, you aren't nuking any sense. And this whole :>arents de.al- you know I don't undcr tand that." Ryan was g ntling, I could sec llut this <hift<...J Alok into higher 1,-car "Of oourse, you don't. Ho" could you' You never had them." "1 had them. r rn an 1 still haYe th,m. But I don't sit and <..T ' for the:n. n
"Because vou don't lm-c them " ' "Yl's I don't. But at least I am not crying like a bal>:" "Shut up'" Alok screamed and continued crying: "You arc a bab):A sissy-fat baby Sorry sissbaby, now wip<. your nose," R)an said and starte<llaughing. It is omething he !ways does when he can't think of anything else, a kind of com-ersat1on IIUcr. "Shut up you...you..." Alok said. "I want my mummeceeec," Ryan said, imitating Alok's choked tones. "...shut up, you abandoned orphan!" Silence. Yes, sometimes people say .wmething so messed up that all beu go off. Ryan's laughter Yanishcd in nanosecond.I sat up straight, confused if I'd heard right. f"Cn Alok noticed the change in eXpressions and froze.1\,cnty so.id, slow and long seconds o! silence followed. "Orphan. llari, he called me an orphan," Ryan said. I stayed siknt. Alok stayed silent. "Just get out. Go to Vcnkat or whichc,rr prick you w nt to be with. Jut get lost," Ryan satd. "I don't need you to tell me. Hari?" Alok said, not cr)'ing an)morc. "Yes?" I said. "You coming with me?"
"\here?"
"Do you want to be with me or Ryan?" This was so dall\l) unfair. I had nothing to do "ith all this. Yet, I had to now chaos :- between mv friends. ' "Yes. !!:" with this loser Hari, go hol d his hand " "I am not goiPg anywhere,I said.
68 t'we PcnS .:.n.eane l
''So vou choose R1an," Alok :..1id in dd....atec.l tones. I 1 not choosing anyont. You arc the one who is leadng. [)o 1\hau:vcr \ou want," Isaid, disgusted w1th bodl of !hem. There \\'e;e no more worc.ls. Alok got up dlld ldt. Ryan ,hut the door behind him as hard ahl' could. It wapurely synuolic, as \\'t' never shut the door i11 our rooms. ''You saw what he did. And he l'Xpected you to go "ith h1m, h !" Ryan \aid. "Fuck you," I s.lid.
1 met Neha soon 'ftcr, though I was getting sick of the icecream parlour, and of the sickeningly sweet srrawberrl' flavour. Nch still looked be utiful a> hdl, but I didn't fed like talkmg to her. [n fact, Idid not feel like talking to an)'one.
\'Wlmt1
'vrong?",
"\Vho ;.aid anything was wrong!" l said. Ican be quite a prick if I want. "ll Is a ll O\'Cr your face. Now are you going to tell me or
what?" That is the thing \\ith girls. 1l1cy arc like half your si7.C or something, but if they know you like them, t.hcy boss you around. Who the hell did she think she was? "h is nothing." She pbced her hand over my arm and self-respecting nit\\it that 1 am, I melted faster than th<: ice-crclm, like the bad mood bugs running through me suddenly got Baygon-sprnyed. "Neha, those bloody Alok and Ryan."
"\Vhat wathe argument about?" ':'\hoot grades.Alok "'id it 1\'l' Ryan's fault we did badI):" "Really. ho" hadly?" I told her about our fhc-J X>illl<T grade\, "DJmn, did you say fh't'-point r.?" she said. "Language!" I said. "Oh sorry. I mean that b kind of low by insti standards." Sec that is the thing. Once yoJ get a GPA in liT, t>\'eryonc ha\ an (;pinion Jbout it, about you, C\n if it's a fashion de ign student. "1 know," I said, "but that is not what I am upset about. It is this plaet.> I hate it." Nda started laughing. I told you, didn't I, she can lx: a bit lo<my at times."What is there to laugh about?"I askt-d, irritated. "Nothing. Jut how people would die to g<.'l in here." "I know," I said, "hut it sucks. I ha"e tons to study, my gradts are crap, and Idon't ha\'c friends anymore." "So Alok wants to mug, and hgoes to the mugger," she p.1raphrased the recent C\'C.'nts .1ftcr I had tol<l her the longhand l't'rsiol', "hut how come you choS<" Rpn?" "I didn't choo.s<!, Alok ldt," I reminded her "'VI1at are you going to do?" I shrugged. "You know ""' dad was a I 0 \-hen he was a student." "He was a student?" I had nc,-er thought of Cherian a anything It: \ in size or yl!an. "Yc>, a das' topper. Gue's he wouldn't be too happy to bow I am " th a lhc-pointer," she said happily "So now you also wnnt to stop talking to me," I said. "No silly I m roking." she <;aiC and laughed. Why doe ,1,, cln thi' all th< time, tl'll jokes that are runny tO her alone?
ul,..lnguagc!lt
"Sot"ry. I mean my friends, my best friend. the\' had this massive argument nnd now our group hasplit."
"\Vhatc\"er. "Come here," she said, lapping the seat next to her in the parlour.
.. Why?"
"Just come here."
Like a trained pet, I got up from the seat oppositt' and <.1t ne:-:t to her; pretty girls ha\"e this power to turn Mary, making lambout of people. She held my hand and turned her face toward me. "I like this tl\"e pointer," she said, and kissed my chtck. "One, two, three, lour, five," she listed, smacking my right cheek each time. "Sec, now that isn't too bad." Damn, I was melting again. "Can I kiss you back?" "No, I don't ha,c a GPA," she pointed out. 1 10\-cd people who did not ha,-e a GPA. 110\ed anyone who was not at liT. I did not want to go b<>ck. I wondered if I could work at the ic-c-cream parlour, filling cones all day and never ha,e to worry about classes, courses, grades, and Alok-Ryan arguments. "Let's sec a mo\ie, how about Saturday next?" she asked. "Sure," I said, snapping out of my fantasy of working in tht' parlour. "Great. Gotta go 1\0\V. I'll pick you up [rom this parlour at two. Matinee show;" she said and left. I w: ited for fi,e minutes, read the list of fo'"c daily specials and thouoht about the fo,-e kisses. Somehow, it made up fot my t> fi\"(-point GPA. I low I \\ shed I had got a higher GPA, if only tot more of those it"I!-CTcamy kisses!
N.ok &peaks
to you. JOu prob.1b{r picture me as tbil bo; 11bo rt'fUses to grolf" up, tbe perr:nni.Jl prodigy who want.> to shou rome
JCTO.<J
Lrso.
CRJ:BAm. MUGGER. TRAITOR. sJsS>, TH.iT 1s 11ow1
hisgood report c.Jrd to his p.urnts year afterye.u: }ou ar-c lit'<' to judge me, nr whining 01-er grades, my fJJiitcing 111"dt the" group, n\l' rctinmcr. to ct:t .1pron srrings, an umbJ1Jcal cord d1<1t stretche.,out Jcro.s Delhi .1// the u:w fi-om Ruluiti Colonv to . the liT c< mp11.1, bindint me to mother.
Allow me, ho t m::t; to tell you this n" ' lor is Alok Gupt3, .wd /lis Highness H.1ri has gi-en me
bitS}' sp.Jct here tu :.rit cnt to
)"e.;, .111
this it 1
n ledmgs. Rut be/On 1 do
thJt, let me tc ll ou
.1
ston : .
Once upon .1 time, th<'r<' litfti a boy in iiloner-nuddlc cl.1" homein one of dtc suburb,o/Ddhi.l.ctus call dtis bo 1 Lowr;un to n1.1ke it e.hi<'r - whose !3tlwr and mother ..., ,...
7'Z
rl\'e P.Jinl&:>ooc:onc:
Loser's father came home bed-ridden and nc-cr felt it for t<'ll years. His one good eshed tears every now and then, .wd the sorrow of never painting again brought one in/'ecrion Jlier the other. Soon, the botcle.J of painr "'t're swapped with bottles of medicine. There u;rs 110 money to a/Jord a nurse, and Lo5Cr 11as .1ppointed one. He w.:>s in da,ss set-en then,and for the rest olbir school)"eats he Silt ntxt to his father's ht:cJ 3fter >Chool. For J while he painted, but soon he realized the liJmi{y 1Jeeded money more than l:mdscapes. 117; the one college li1 the country that n'rtually guaranteed a future, caught his eye. s, to become an engineer was the only way out olpoverty. Loser's mother used to ay e-ery night. But she could not gb-e up. She had to keep on tead1ing the digesa.-e system and the endocrine system and reproductil'e system _vear alter year to oo on. "Onedil)r they rill he out olrhis,"Leser 1'011-ed to himself' OJS he helped his fatherchange sides atnightand studied pulleys, magnetism and alculus lor the I!T entt:Jnce eV3m. For two ) ars, Loser did not step out of the house apart /rom school, pined liJin kilos md mutcerecl calculations "hile >iping bed-sores. And one line day he madeit. He nas in the /IT. How happy Ius mother and half-a-father n-cre. Jes, four more years of' discipline and he could emancipate e-cryone. That is wlten he met ranand Hari.And then, toremain with them, he screwed up his grades to tlte lowest in the institute. 1-an, the miln who lit-es for the momem, who docs nor n:mr ro he like him? Rich p.1rents, rood looks smart enouoh
sdwo!teachers, art ;md bioiOCJ' rcspcctin!l)! Lo.scr grew up in " simple home filled with notebooks and amases, and learnt how to dra w before learning to tic his shoelaces. Loser was good in studi(ouing to two te..chcrs looking on:r him at home), but what he lot'OO most was to paint. Loser took pan in Cll!IJ' ,m rompetition for his age, and II'On most of them. The prizes kept roming in - and dozens of painting sets, alligraphy sets and stationery coupons later, it u;rs dear Loser ll'as abore a-er.Jge at the eilsel. He <-anted to be an artist whrn he grew up, and of course, this 11:15 a silly dreili11. For in India, there is only room for one ormaybe tH'o artists who are ninety ye..rs old (or b<-tter still, dead) to suni-e. Jet Loser did not cart:, he knew he m:JUid make it and nothing could stop him from his goal. But that is when life .screws )'OU. Right at mom('IICS when J'OU !eef.t-ou ha-e got it all figurr:d out. Loser's 1.1ther got chis prestigious munl painting job, which for once paid "ell. The job imoked painting the ceiling oJ' the lobb)' in the education dcpartml'nt building. Munlare hard a/1)1 '"Y, .1nd painti11g a ceiling is e.wrud3ting nork. nwy puc tlu:se b.unhoos upon which the artist lies donn nnd n-orks, and hopes to crr:ace tltat one masterpiece that nil/ make the norld crane their necks and take notice. 1-/onc-er, the only time people noticed Los,r's father mH when he lell donn from the lumboo structure, ten meters down, and that n:.s to step our of his way lest che_v broke his fall. !Ughc side para t-sis, doccon <aid Half of Loser's J:uher uJ.< gonC', but more importantlj; che nho!e of'his sa/.Jr_V uJs gone, the right hand th.Jt p.unted wasgone .md so nas Losers dream.
to gt't into 117; athletic enough to he good in sports :md lim
enough to a/11\I)'S attract friends. R_van is inli:-ctious, .wd //an is a pt"rlrcr e.umple of this infection. If Ryan ""''ts .<omctlw!!? /l;m gn>?s it to bim. So, if Rpm does not ll:.tll( to >tudo, ll:m will dos.. his books. If R_mn thinks GPAs dJl? not imporr.mt, then H.ui stops Cildng ilbout them. Ry.m is Pied Pip<r ... I remcmb<'r 11fu:n he c.1me home once, he lilted 111)' ldtl1er to CBrry bim out, ,wd kept holding him even in the auto. It m1s he 11'ho "'{'Jed with the hospital sti1fl'togr:t us a good bed, .wd t!"n .<tJycd nith us until three a.m. Jcs, Rynn is6,'00d, he is 1 ':1; 'C'IJ' goorl For vho would hone broken Goke bottles for unkiJonn freshers? Or who would h.we screwed up !lis new scooter .md 01erlo.Jdcd it witb dm:e people, not) of th(!/)1 in pos<ession of brgt butts? But Ul(.' 1s more to Rya11. Like did;vu know hi> p3rc:nts send him .1 letter eY?ry od1er llt:ek? Or d1at he nccr replies ' to af!v of them? les, h e 11il! tel!_mu he doesn't lor: them or n-hate1r:r cr.1p he dishes out. But d1e truth is, he keeps eo't"':l letter nc.u{v in .1 life. Wl1en be is ;done in bis room ar nigiJt, he opens thtletwrs .1nd rmds them again. I me.111, if'he is so cool .1nd coer,vthing, why can't he respond to th,m ocx:asioml(r? And wll) does he keep r(!ll?ad!ng those letters anpo v? I ,?111-:J)'S knew l !'iln had issues but Ilo ri is blind. See,ctIJ thouj,T/J I think I hat>? figured out R_1'illl some11f1.1l, I annor lor the hell of it undrrst.md Hari. I mt!;m, ht m1llj
xccpt that, he uvuld bt' able to d1i11k str.1ight. /Jut he dut''n't, and so llt'nt J!ong .,;th Oper.1tion Ptndulum 1111<'11 I lint plit up 11ith them. I 11as rml{ nut .wrt if I hJd dune the ri"o /Jt thirw . But Jlit'r Or"'r.Jtion Pc:ndulum, I .1111 C.::/10[ SUt'C' if'! should h1oeotr come ruck. llio/1, tlw i< Iii( It scre11-s mu ri.tt/u "'"<'II .J'OU think ..1-ou haor li.!!IJrcd it out. :;. . ..
me - ordir13n; un.Jttr.Ktil'e, far ;md dull. Buruants ' to lx- .<Omtlxx1 t'l<e - someont cool. smarr ilnd $h3rp li/.:t' R_1an. But d<'Cp doom, he knoll's d1at this is not possiblt'. I k 11il/ ,l/II'J_I'S t'C'm.1in the under-coolidcnt kid who wrm corpw during 1 ioa 77u unroof C311110t become mol. /(on/,. he'd
:s like
One Yc::nr LBr 77

the clandestine senice tairs on till' ninth floor to oct to the
8
One Year Later
NEW 365 DAYS I tAD PASSEL) SINCE ALOK LEFT us
BECAUSE
third semester results had just come out that dar Ito" irreb-ant thcv seemed now; another lhc point sonwthing, another tattoo st 1 1ped on your worth as an indhidual in liTety. Ry;n and 1 had l'One to the insti to see the results, but that was incidenul, tlw rereason was to chill out on the insti root: 1 don't remember when we first disco\'ered this roof, it mu st ha,e been soon after we start<'cl smoking grass. whid1 was soon after we had surted vodka, which was soon after we h d start -<! listening to Pink l'loyd. Flo -<!.,-odka,gras and the msti roof; finnlly, we were on to what really mattcrd in life, the stuff that made liT life hearable, especially when you were a lhepoint something. TI11:giant insti building had nine stories; one had to take
roof. There was an old lock guarding the entrance to the terrace, but thankfuUy the bolt was C\cn more ancienL It took Rpn three minutes with a screwtlrher 10 remove the rustctl bolt and then we were on doud nine, the highest poim on campus. The bare, rough concrete surface made up the flat patch of terrace, there was no parapl'l. It \\<IS mo,tly empty, too, apart from the insti-bcll tower, and a fC\v dish antennas that helped the computer and telccom networks. After dark, onl: the stars above were ,;siblc. If one stood up and looked do'"" one could sec the treet lights on campus roads and disunt ,;cws of Kumaon and other hostds a kilomctr{' away. Ryan laid out the vodka, the jointand his small W..lkman in autopilot, familiar with our twice a week routine. We lay down on the concrete, still \\<lrm from the sunlight in the day. Ryan divided the pair of earphones, such that we had one earphone each, passed a joint 10 me, and we kept the odka bottle in the center. Sip, puff, sip, rewind, stop and play. The lyrics washed over us and we flew up to the sky as it\ flew do"n at us. "You see aU those kids sa"eaming over their GPA," Ryan said, releasing a smoke-ring. I think smoke is beautiful; weightless and shapeless, it almost appears as deceptively powerless as the person releasing it, yet, it comes from wid1in and rises above us all. Crnp, I am talking all artsy stuff, grass does this to me. "Yes, I saw them. And I see how they look at us," I said. "Ho"?" "Like what the hell arc we there for? How does our miserable GPA matter anyway? Aif we are blocking their view
or something."
One Y01r l.al.cr 79 screw them," Ryan said, words of "i dom from the man who k110ws everything. "It's tnc though,M I said, "we really <enc no purpose here..... "Of course, we do. We arc the under-performers." wholesome meal out of dope but I knew I was tting trippy. for one thing, 1 felt I wafeather-light, up here, it felt like I ws lloating above the world. Screw all profs, all students and all design assignments. "Prof Cherian." "Neha's dad?" 1 said, somewhat t Cturning to my senses. "Yes. They say he's a real terror. IJke he is the head of the department, and is this total contml freak with othe profs and tudcnts.K 1 !mew Neha's dad was a control freak, at least with his daughte. "Who told you?" "It is "-ell known, ask any senior. An) ''3y, for the record, Anurag told me." "So when does the control freak teach us?" "Next year. He takes third year courses," Ryan said. "Ne"'l year, too far. Give me another joint." There were still more than two years to leave this place. And the worst prof was yet to come. I deserved another joint. "Ht-rc," Ryan said, pas ing me the crude cigarette. He was a good pal, one who rolls joints for you. "Anyway, I don't \\'3nt to talk about grades or profs. Talk about something else," I said. Ryan stayed silent; I guess he was searching for another topic. . . . "!low is your girl?" he asked after strainmg hts bram for twenty seconds. That is how Ryan addresses Neha.He ne,-er says her name, as if her being'my girl'is more important than her being Neba "Ncha is great. Going for a movie next week." "So you guys serious?"
"So?"
"So we bring the a,erage do,m.We make them look better Hence, we bring happiness in their lhes." "Point," I conceded. "But it is not the students that bother me. It is the prok" "You are talking about the design class right?" "Yes, that Prof Bhatia. I mean you were there, right? I gaw him some ideas on how one could design a suspension bridge and he got aJl excited.He told me to make a scale dra"ing and submit it, said be would give me a spccial internship proj ct. Then he asked me my name and found out my GPA.then he calls me and says to forget a.bout the drawing and internship. Can you bclie,c that scum?" Ryan said. We had finished one joi11t each. Ryan sat up to make another on, crushing the gras> and tobacco hard, as if it were Prof Llhatia's innards. "Screw him,M I passed the words of wisdom back to Ryan. We refilled our glasses, as it turned dark on the roo( "Yes, screw all profs," Ryan said. "Yeah. Though Prof era is aU right." Prof \'cera waour lluid mechanics professor. "Yes, not him Though I ha'-e heard the worst one is yet to come," Ryan said as he lit up the second joint. "Who?" I debated whethe I should smoke more. Ryan' tokrance was much higher and ill' could probably mJke a
Ouc Yc:u1 later 81
"Serious about what?" "I don't know, like you lo\-e her and e\'Crything?" "I don't know," Isaid. That is how men t.tlk ahout their relationships. Nobody knows anything - neither the questioner nor the amwerer, "lias he said anything?" "Welt, you know how she is. So damn moody all the ti me. Sometimes she is all cuddly. holds my hand, and acts eozy at th<' mo,ics. llut wl1en I try something, she stops me and gi,cs me these lectures on how she is a decent girl and I should learn to bcha,-e." "What do you do? You arc a bastard I know," Ryan said and started laughing. Screw him, That is dtc thing with people who know you welt, they judge you before they hear )OU out. "I do nothing. like I mf' n, do you know we have not e, cn ki>scd )'Ct. Like I have met her twenty times, but every time I get the push. Slie has like this under-the-elbow policy." "Sounds like a nice girl. You're lucky." "Screw nice. I don't want nice." That is true, nice people are completely boring. They don't gil'c you joints, and they don't let you kiss them. "lalk to her then. Tell her to be naughty. I am sure she wants tO be bad," Ryan said. 'fue you crazy? She is a girl; girls never want to be bad." "11tey do. Just that mey want it a little less than l! ." I couldn't imagine Neha wanting to do the same things I wanted to do with her. "I don't believe you. Did you ever have a girlfriend?" I said. "Then don't belien!. Anywa), enough talk about women. Time for nother drink and rape," Ryan said.
Ryan never talked much about himsel[ Sometime. I wondered if he was gay.' But he wasn't, Imean, I would ha,c known. I practically lived with tht> gu). and unles;he found me hideously unanracthe, I think 1 would have known. But he wasn't gay, for he did notice heroines in movies, whistled at pretty girls on the treet. Maybe he just wasn't in the mood for women most of the time. He dtanged the tape and put on another Pink Floyd. I saw the le,-els of tbe ,'Qdka bottle drop and Ryan scraping through his brown bag for the last joint of me day. A half-moon lit up the sl._')', and bright little stars looked smug, winking down at us like students with higher GPAs. You know the thing about Floyd? Not only are they damn good, they sound better with l>\'ety drink. like th(' singers designed litem for alcohol. Like samosas-chutney, idli-;ambhar or rajma-chawal, Royd and vodka are in a eombo-clas of their
me
own.
"You know what today remmds me of?" Ryan said. "What?'' nThe !lrst sem results. You remember?" "Yes, I do. The first fiver." "And after that." "What?" "1-atso left us." Ryan still referred to him as Fatso and e'-en though it is derogatory, it was always laced with indulgena.' I know Ryan had not spoken to Alok for the entire pat year and he wouldn't let me as well. "Don't go to him. He left us," he satd, and I knew Ry" would do some serious ulking if 1 rebelled
One Yc.:" l.al.c:r 63
"Ilow COIll<' vou thought of Alok today?" Ia'k<d, 1i>ing to see hC"w much \'odka remained. Surely, Rvan had drunk t<><l much to be alking this. "I ju>t mnuone<l him today. I think of him more oft<n." Ryan in a profound mood Grass and vodka ha,<' n axed to optimal l.:wh. "Screw him," I SJid as the song n'a<.:hed some of my favoudtt' Ii nc1. 'What do you thi11k he is doing right now?" Ryan said. "Who?" I said, 'Yilok?'' Ryan norldcd. "Prol><>bly muggmg away with Yenbt. Ih<.>ar he is a <ixpointer no"," I aid "You kno" Hari, Alok dad the right thing." "Y<.ah. right." "No, Iarr '<rious. \ou should ha,-e left me too I m1 not good for you." Now what is going on here, I thought. Am I going to lml to waste real good dope in making Ryan feel all wanted and better about hirnsclfl
J
I hJtc it when people want to be assured, you h3w no d1oice but to play ball "No R\an, Alo \1':1 \\Tone. lie \\ill realize it someday . Now just dose your <'yrs and cruise a little,I ad,ised. I dosed my ryes. The grass and vodka were now n c-omplete control of the policeman in me, making me sec whlt
I wanted to sec. I saw Neha sitting next to me, miling and embracing me. I kr hair, and especially that one soft, floppy lock, brushes me. I fer round faces resembles the moon, or i s it tht I am actually watching the moon? This is trippy and the
grass is getting the bet\<'r of me but l want to
be gotten the
better of. Icontinued drifting until Ryan interrupted me "You know the best thing about the insti roof?" He stoo:l up. towering O\"Ct cne.
un,at no one
knOW)
we arc here."
"No. The fact :hat you ah,-ays ha\-e an option." "\Vhat option." "You can jump O\'er the edge and end it all." "Shut up, Ryan." I struggled to sit up. "I'm seriou. They can do whatc,er, but I can still control my options." "You arc too drunk Ryan, [ want to go back," I said, sobering up fast. Soa1etimes, you \\'ant your commonsense to get the better of you.
ha,e two option: one, to tell ;,im to

\1'311!$
shut up and enjoy the song, two, do what he
me tO do.
"What is 1hc deal Ry<111? Not feeling good?" "No, I am line. You should have left me. henom lea,es ' me. l11ey must he right." "\Vhat?" "'Thry do Dad, Mom, Alok. ..they all do.'' "No need to he <enti, Ryan, just enjoy the evtning." "You thinI .11\o was right? You think I did not co:rc- for him?'' he demanded.
\\\: never missed thfluid mechanics class in the fourth <en: and the reason \\'3$ Prof Ycl'ra. That and the fact that the cia) was at noon and
\\"e
finally woke up
by then. Prof Vcera was
completely different for one, h<' waslike twenty years youn&\"'
Q., Y<:<ar
I Ia 85
than other profs. No more thJn th i rt , he dr sscd in jeans and l shirt, whit-h bore his US uniY<.>r"ty logos. I le had like five dcgrcl'S from all U>e top universities- M IT, Cornell, Princeton tc, and T-shirts fromall of thcn>.l [(: curicd this CD-man with him, and after da s. he would plug it into his ears before he ldt. St udents said l'rof Vccra had just joined the in;ti, and was not supposed to be taking full course so early. However, the prof he was assisting had a heart attack or something, and Prof V..era had to teach us. "Iii e,eryone," Prof Veera sa1d as he entered class. He oflered chewing gum to the flrst row students. The front row guys were all mugging nine-pointers, and freaked out at his oiler. They dedined, and he shrugged and popped a piece in his mouth and turned to the board. "Turbul nt flows," he \\Tote in big lencrs on the board. "Guys, m the first five lccturc.s, we studied simple flows c.1lled laminar flow.;. The shape and di1 cction of these flows arc pn :dictaLie "ith the help of formula.. and equations. You know which c uataon, right?" He lookc:d around for answers. Unlike other profs, he did not stick to the forst ro'v. In fact, he sc;wenged at the back. "Okay, I am not going to ask the st udious kids all the questions. I want to ask the cool dudes at the bat-k." Ryan and I were chronic backbcnchers; out of sight, this was the most defensive posi tion for the outcastc five-pointers, but Prof Ve ra did not care. "Ryan, tell ml', which is the first principle equation lor laminar flow>)" "Sir, me?" Ryan said, urprisecl that a Prof would know hi name..
")e, you, R .r1 I know you know the an wer." ""1 hl Na,ier-.5tokes equation." "Right. )u want to write it <lowu J(,r tlw cla''i" R'an ran up to the board and the nine-pointers in the from mw ,mirkccJ at a tlwpointcr comribut;g to cia.' 1 he <'C]Uation was right though; Ryan doesn't go up to the ho rd unless he knows he's right. "l' rfect, thanks Ryan. By the way, wa; il you who wrote the impa<:t of lubricant cffici<nC)' 011 scooter fuel consumption i11 vour last term paper?" "Well, yes ,,ir." "h it true you actually tested the data on your scooter?" "YcI did, sir. Not accurately though." "llke that," Prof\'Cer.J said, looking at the nin<'pointcrs who werl' busy takingfrantic notes like trained J>Jrrot"I really likl' that." R,an caml' back to his S<'at. I could tell he loved lluid mechanics, and most of all, he lo,ed l'rof \cera. He , ...,er missed HuM ch and l1< would cJo anything for Prof Vecra. Otlwrs howewr- the testy <ksign prof, the pamfufly dull wlid mechani<:s prof and the assignment-maniac thermodynamics prof-were a different story. Rpn could cut up their guts \lith a lathe machine in the machining workshop gi'-en a chance.
I met Neha at Prir:cinema a week after tht Fhu'\lcch d.,.._,_ I would have said I met my girlfri,nd but tlw damn probkm was I was still not sure. l had known hr for over a year, but sht> called me different thing> depending on her mood. First, I was ju't a friend.Then I was a good friclld, then lriend who
One Yc:r l.aler 87
was special, then really-rt>ally good and special friends or some such crap. For her, calling someone a boyfriend was a big thing. Her dad had m dc her promise that she would never ha''C a boyfriend, and she wanted to keep it. Of course, it did not pre,cnt her from watching movies with me hand in hand every
And then just when I thought it couldn't get worse, it did. Ncha nd I took ou1 .seats in the halcony (Rs 35/ticht, total rip-off) and waitcci for the trailers to lxgin. However, according to a r.<'w government regulation, the theatre had to screo:n a family pl nning documentary' tlrst. Okny, o India hns thibig population. So maybe peoplt' should just usc some protection and we would ha,e less new people. Simple enough, right? So you would think. Apparently, nobody wants to usc contraception, so the go'-ernmem ha'to >how people a more pcnnanent way to not ha\'C kids l11c documentaJy began;a doctbr in a government hospital mtro<:lua:d himself with a beatific mile. He was supposed to be your friend in family planning, though 1 think he was the Mgcl of d,ath, especially when he 1ccommended one sure hot p'Oce<Jure - vasectomy. The documentary showed thb mill worker who had thi, dyllic home where he li,ed with his ;imple wife (who cooked all the time) and rwo kids. Then one da) he sleeps and has a dream tl1at he has six kids or something (ob>iously that would haw taken a lot of :K:rewing his wife, but they skippt"d all that) ll1c kids need more food, education, toys and keep asking daJ for more. But dad h tired from the mill job (not to mention the screwing) and breaks down. That is when our friend in l mily planning or angel of death appears. The doctor had this portahle flip-chart with a picture of the malt' anatomy. He openl.'d it, and the whole theatre, especially the front rows, started hooting. (Theatres are the opposite of class lecture, the front row b where the action is.) All}'WJy, so all tl1is is going on when l am on my date. I had nc1cr approach<d the topic of sex (let alone controlling
two weeks for ov<'r a year.

"Lite again?" she said. I must have been late by like two minutes. "Had fluMech class. Prof Vcera overshot time and we did not c,en realize it." "Prof Veera is that young guy right?" "Yes, you know him?" "Not rcall)Dad mentions him. I think my dad hates him." "Your dad sounds like a total..." She raised her eyebrows. "Let's go in. I don't want to miss the t.railers.'' 11 e movie was Tot.1/ Reo//, another sci-fl action crap. 1 That's the thing about English theatres in Delhi. They either show action or adult mo,ics. I don't mind the latter except that you can't really take a girl to them. Especially these really nice and good-Indian-traditional girls like Neha. So, you ha'\! the choice of sci-f. action nonsense or a 1 Iindi mO\ie. No sclfrespeciing girl will watch a Hindi mo\>ie on a date. Hence, there I was again, to watch Arnold nex his muscleand blow up planets. "You like sci-fi," she said as she took her seat. ul do," 1 said. What choice did I ha\'C anyway? ''Typical liT engineer.'' 'Yeh right.lypicalliT rngi rs, my girl, don't kip design class to watch stupid movies.
"ith 1'\dta. llut there he was, tlw ,,ngd of deam.sho;,ing the tx.1ct location of thtcui\ '<> that the male organ c.1me undn control. 1 was embarrassed like e'-cry oth,r man in the bakon,. Ncha looked at me, noticing Twas shifting around in nw s at. ")ou all right?" "Don't ,nuthink thi< ;,too much? \\' h,do the, ha\'e shu\\ .
!leX)
"He is really diflcrcnt," I said. uke he dO<n't discriminat betwtcn nine-pointers and li"c-pointers. And he likes original thinking. E,en his assignments push you to think more."
'Like how?"
tim indecent stufi"'" "What? It is edue tional.n "Yeah, right. I need that when I come: to sec a movi ." ''Oh come em ll ri. I actually think it is pretty funnv." The wife on creen lbtcncd carefully to the doctor and smilt'd at the pro<pcct of sex \\ithout any consequences. I thonk the doctor and the "ift had a thing going, but that was JU<t
ll\V inJ::tginlliOn.
''I ike he ga,e a urm paper asking students to think about an engineering problem linked to fluid mechanics. Most prof, would ha,e just said, 'do all the numerie ls at the end of Chapter I 0' or something,' but Prof \leera invites ideas." ''Sounds cool. Is he good looking?" "I think so." "Then I should try to sec him. Maybe I'll ask dad to imitc l11m home," she said and laughed. A surge of jealousy rose within me. Somehow Prof Yecra didn't seem so nice anymore. "Go to hell." ''Hey, arc you getting jealous?" "No, why should I get jealous? I'm not your boyfriend." Nehalaughed really hard.Jokes only she finds funny.Stupid wnman, I feel like cutting otf her cute lock of hair. ''I am just kidding, silly," she said. "In any case my dad will kill me for that. And he hates him anyway. But it is nice to see you all worked up." "I'm not." She held my band, though she badn'l stopped laughing. What is so funny to women all the time? And why do I still lind hco so beautiful? And why the hell can't I kiss her? She stopped laughing nnd got back her composure. "Sorry, I lari Don't feel bad, you arc my S\\'eetest lottlc special friend." Now what is that? Another tide for the fortnight? <;he bent forward to kiss my ch -ek. Now is my chance, I tho\oglu. Gh-e her the illusion that you don't care then as soon
' hour.'11te mill worker wakes up and rcaliLC> how he must C<lllli'Ol his family and signs hi< rcproductiw f.wilities awa\: Happy ending.smiling faces of wife and kidwhich turn into cand6n\, and me imened triangle of the population control depanment '$null Fomily Happy Family' was the last nugget of wisdom thrown at us before tl'iggcr-h>ppy Arnott) tOok O\'Cr the screen Neha hdd my hand as the movie began. She had grown comfortable "ith doing this and I could not hope for an "thong more I remembered nw bst conwrs..tion '"th R an. Could Ncha also secretly want to do more than hold hands? Could I just a>k her? Should I just make a bold mo,el We went to Nirula 's after the mo<'ic for a meal. "So, wh t i' Pool' \cera like. tell nw," Neha saod, cutting the pizza "<: orclmcl into equal- izcd pieces. Girls Jo,e organizing food <>n a tohle.
lo the relief of all, the documentarv <'ndrd in likt' half a"
..
90
rM:" IX'-nt &:.cone

Oue l'e:or llllt:r 9t
"-' lwr mouth com"' to the check, jerk once and mo'l your lipthere inMead. Thh is thl' only way to kiss good Indian wonwn, Ryan told nw. "What arc you doing?" Ncha pulled back. l 11ied to look innocent. "\\ht' YOU trYino to ki< me on the lips?'' *'No.
' 0 "
"llari, you know I am not into that." Then what the hell are you into? Funny pril'atc JOkes? Or ''our stuck-up father? "Decaust' this is \\Tong. 1his spoils everything. Because it feels wrong. You are not a girl, you won't understand." Yes, I wanted to <ay, and you are not a guy, so you w;JJ nor understand. So, should we just eat ou.' pi"ZZa nd go homt'> I didn't say anvching. I had lo,t my chance, and right then C\'Cn my desire. Besides, her face had turned sad. !}idn 't wam htr to be upset Becauu: we lhed our nex-t date at theend of the mcal. I didn't want to not fix the next date. "This pizza is good," "You
"dilL
to mett ne.xr Thundayl"
usure."
"I ha''t' to buy a gift for a friend's birthday. Will you come to Connaught Place with me?" l agreed. I was sick of Priya and all the o' rpriced dating alternatives around it. "Cool. I'll get the car, and pick you up from the ice-cream parlour," she said. I scraped through the crumbs on the piz;..a plate \\ithout looking up.
'Venkat, I ha''t' certain rcspon ibilitic:... Alok said. "But they aren't my problem are theyl This i' ththir time this month. It is about time I stop listening to th,s sort of tuiT," Venkat said, interrupting him. It was a chilly frhruary night.l11e noise came from i idc Vtnbt', room. Ryan Jnd I \\WC in the corridor of our ",ng. rerurnino from one of our visits to thcanteen. "\Vh;are they talking so loudly?" Rn said. "I don't kno"Normally muggu Ven. at's room is pretty quiet " Ryan put his er on Venkat's door. "What are you doing?" I said. "Shh... 1 think they're h3\ing an argument." "What do we have to do with it? Let's go,'' 1 said. "Shh...come here," Ryan said. At some lc\'el, even I was curious about the argument. Hl.ls it J biu one? 1-Wtat IIOJS it about? I put :ny car on the door, ancvc"'v word could be !ward loud and clear. r "Alok, this is too much. I mean, I hm: to study for !fn hours a day to keep my GPA. The least I can expect is to count on my group partners," Vcnkat was saying. . "My dad has become unconscious. V.{> are wor ed he y lm't' had a strQke! r.,-o calls haw come from home... Alok sad. "Listen,your mom always overplays your dad's illness. He will recover, how will your making a trip help?" "I am the only man in the bouse Venkat. I want to go. Can't you take care of it this time?" "l'.ctually, no. I have.to study class notes for other subjects. l don't ink you re_ah this, 1 mean how would you being a 1\ve-pomt somethmg, Venkat said.
Ouc: Yc11 wier 'l1
"Realize what?" Alok sa1d. "l'ha1 I ha\'e to malot3111 111' r.tnk. nte ;.econd guy in 1he clepartnwm ionk 0.03 behind nw )OU know. Now <hould I finish thb group a, ignntelll or rlad my notes?" Venkat id. or rather shouted "Bloody lllUg&l'r," Ryan whhpcr -d in my ear. I $ignallcd Ryan to keep quiel. nkat you study all the lime. Can't you just..." r\lok&aid. "I am a nine-pointer, do you understand? I ha\'C to maintain "!.''position!" Venkat said, speaking more to remind him<clf than to tell Alok. "But am Inot vour friend? You know I have to take care of my dad," Alok said, this time pleading more than protesting. "Enough!" Venkat said, "this assignment is worth ten percent. Alok, you c:>n't go." 'Venkat pleas ." Aluk said, and 1oice started to sound like his mother's, which meant he wa< going to cry soon. "Thh is too much, I am going in," Ryan said, kicking the door <'pen. I ,\ouJd ha\'c tri d lO >mp him, but Ryan acted in a nanosecond. Alok was standing ne"'t to \ nkat, who sat on the study chair. n,ey turned toward us in surpri.;e. "What the..." Vcnkat said, "Ryan, what are you doing here?' It wa;, a \'alid question. What was a five-pointer doing in a nine-pointer's room? Venkat looked at Ryan as if a person s ching for a bar hac.l reached a temple. "What's the problem?" Ryan sad, completely ignoring Venkat. Istood thrre silently, checking out Venkat's room. Apart from a bed and a few clothes. there were just hooks, books and more books.
"Ryan, it ha> gotnodling to do with you.'' Alok ..Ud I could 1dl he was shocked to SC<' Ryan, yt somewhere deep down, like he fdt his sa1iour wa> d1ere. The pathetic '1-willcry-any-momem' C"-prc,sion had 101nish d. "I said, whJt's the problem?" Ryan saiu. "I'll tell you what the problem 1s,Venkal s<ud. "We ha"e all1ermo assignment due.' tomorro11, and Alol.. and Iarc in the ame group. It is ten percent. Yet, he wantS to go home..." "Iam not ofT on some tour, Dad is real!} sick," Alok said. "Do you want me to go?" Ryan asked. I w.1s left puzzled. One year of silence, and 11011' this sudden offer of help. Did Ryan really want to get back 11i1h Alok or was he JU\t pro\ing what a prick Venkat was? "Huh? You? Whcre...home?" Alok said. "Yes, I know where you lh'C and Iha1-e taken your dad to d1e hospital before.I have a scooter too and 11ill get there faster. Or, if you need to go, then I can help you nnish d1c assignment, txcept I don't want to work with this mugger bastard fl'icnd of yours," said Ryan, stressing on the word 'friend'. TI1is was too much. Ryan was acting like a Mother Teresa for Alok. The person Alok had insulted and left, was today a cure-all fairy from hca1-en.!looked at \'enkat, who looked like a younger \'ersion of any of the anally retenth-e profs in the institute. He had put enough oil in his hair to cook an entire Kurnaon dinner, his forehead sported an .-h-mark from hi dt'\out prayer. Yet, at that moment, it was Ryan who looked like an angel. "R<.>alh?" Alok said.
"So I go then," Rpn $aid and stood up. Alok n<Xklcd and Rvan ld't tlw room. We rt>maincd ,,iltm for a minute. Ryan had soked a problem tltat tould s.we a sick man's life and oiler a nine-point mug_ r .l future. All 1\ith a scooter ridto Alol;'s home. "Well, that sctdeit th<'n. I'll lea,c you to do the therm.ll assignmt>nt,Isaid and stood up to leave the room. "\\'lit,n Alok said. "What?" I s; id. Alok ""'!ked out of the room with me. Wa>ting no time. Vcnkolt tool.. out the thermodynamics book, gh ng Alok a glance which meant 'come back soon' "111ank5," Alok 5aid. "1l1ank Rpn," I aid. "Yes, I wilL Is he still mad at me? u "Obviously not, or why would he have gone to your houS<'?" "But you know Ryan, he could do things for you and yet
i\nd then, like sentimental fools, we hugged ('ach oth r. I think Alok was dying for a 'TY and he shed a few tears that he always has span:. I was kind of mellow too, I'd never thought the three of us could be t<>&'<.'ther again I knew Ryan would do omc dnma, but finally he would agree. If he could spend hours t-aking care of Alok's half-dad, he certainly felt something lor him "Good. Welcome back then," I said. "Yes. Right after this damn thermal assignment though," Alok said and we laughed together for the first time in over a year.
be mad at vou."
' "Yes, he can sulk. But what clifTcrencdoes it make. Just thank h\m later." I wasgetting irritated "ith Alok.I didn't think he had the riuht to s;v he kn.:w Rvan anymore, certainly not b ; as much as m('. "Hari?" Alok saicl. "You tbink I can t'Ome backI" "Come b.>ck where?" I "a'L.:wildered. "Yoll know, thc three of us again." "Why? Venkat isn't working out lor you?" "I didn't know what I was doing man. I want to move back." I couldn't beliC\'e my ears. 'lllc diiTerence one year with an ohnoxiounine-pointer c:n make! "You sure?" ")cs, I am sure." Alok's ''Oice was small.
I
The HIC<:: The"')' 97
9
The Mice Theory
pREDI CTABLY, RYAN POUTED OYEI\ PROOIGAL ALOK''
.u Alok The guct list conshttd of me, Alok, Sttkhw,nder, Anurag and Vaibha'\ who live:d in llw last room on our floor lwa)'S had vodk,, in his room lo Ryan that meant he was ;'11\{l . ,'()()(1 friend-material. Howe,-er, 1 only later figured out the real tcria for the guest list; all the guc t"-ere in thl' l'hc-point something range of scores, were underdogs and Ji,!'d in the same wing.We all anxiously waittd for tell o'clock for Mr Ryan
w open his damn door. "Come o -l"\'' n,n c. tled out after we had waited tn, P "-'iu
oubide his room for like an hour, on the verge of going banana. Vl/c entered and it was dark, for Ryan had replaced rhe nnal bulbs in the room with red ones so that a crimson hue 110 ,prcad 0,'Cl' U.e study table, which now doubled as a bar. R an had bid out vodka and rum bottles, juice from the roadSide ,-endor, coke from the cameen, ! mons, ice, sugar and finally, joints for the guests. When ready-made joints arc ;ened, you know the host is someone who gi,-cs attention to detail. That \\'<IS not all. Nude wom n adorned the walb, posters extraeted from US porn magazines, which made their way to Kumaon through ex-seniors in innocuous US university admission brochun:s ,.mail. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads, thin, voluptuous and petite, pos :d on Ryan's wall, uniformly wanton. Alok stared at ilie posters, his mouth open as if a UFO had landQd in his kitchen-sink. "11Jcsc women are completely naked,'' he managed to gurgle eventually. Thanks For the insight, Alok. His quality time with Venk.at had made bim miout on a lot. We all sat down on the floor in Ryan's room, where he had placed cushions for each guest.The first drink3, the customary
return but not for too long as it was kind of pointless. Afw1 Alok had $hcd yet more tears, I\\' all bear-hugged and just like that we were back to being a group once again Venkat's hissed curses we ignored happily l><:cause he had hi& books, but we had each other. Ryan threw a party to mark the historical event. He did tl1e arrangements himself and that included cleaning up his room a Herculean tak in itself given he had not disturbed the layer> of dust with as much aa sncC2e for several months. "Why h he calling it the Mice Party though?" puzzled Alok. "Don't know. He has this new theory that he is going to launch," 1 shrugged. Ryan had banned us from wnturing near his room before the party. I heard him shout "Fatso, Luzz of!"' at least six times
98 l'ive tx'Onl c\\aaocx<le
The Hoce """'-'')' 99
'cheers', the challenge to execute 'bottoms up' followed and Pink Aoyd sang to us. We finished tht first drink soon and Ryan topped us up promptl); and then again. I knew tl1e alcohol had reached nw head when I reachL-<1 out for the ready-to-smoke joints; I alwa ache for a smoke when dme drinkl; buzz inside me. Surd had his 0\\ l way of being drunk, by bc<.-oming o,enly affectionate, kind of spilling over on to others' drunken space. He ut ne>-1 to Alok, putting his arm around his shoulder, o<:casionally squeezing, rubbing. "Great pJrty man. Alok, arc you fl-eling happy-happy?" Surdy asked solicitously. Alok nodded, delicately removed Surdy's arm and mo,-ed forward to speak "So Ryan, what is the big theory that you are going to launch during this party?" Ryan wsitting .1cross u"ith Anurag and Vaibhav. "Let's haw a .good tim< lim," he said. "I am feeling '-er) good man.Tell us," Surdy said and replac:ed his arm around Alok's shoulder. "Yes, yes, teU u ," _Anurag and Vaibhav spoke in unison. "Guys, my theory is called tile Mice Theory. But before I tell you that, I need you all to answer one question." "What question?" Anurag said. "!want you to tell me exactly what you want from life." "Yeal! whatever," I said, "Just tell us your damn ilieor y." I was familiar with Ryan's showman tactics. Besides, my broin had too much alcohol to -ver deep questions. "C'mon guys, \\"OrX ,...n me on iliis," Ryan said, "you "ill 3ppreciate this much more if you think about your own life 6rst Just one question-what do you want in life? Think about it for 1:\\"0 minutes."
We fell silent. Ryan took a commercial break from his d!eor y and reSiled C\'eJ')'Onc's drink. I was on drink number four and I had ne\'Cr felt more clueless about life. I watched c--er)one else think. "Okay, enough time," Ryan said, "Surdy, what do you
\v3nt?"
Surdy held Alok tighter and dragged him closer. Then he planted a kiss on Alok's mouth and whispered intimatelv to him, "Should I tell him?" Alok determinedly extracted himself from the affectionate and mebriated grip again and nodded. "I jut want to reach the US.With my CPA, it's impossible, but just somehow, someplace, somewhere I don't kllow; I just want to 1><.: in the US of A," Surdy babbled. Anurag muttered omething about inventing a new computer language, and Vaibha, wanted to start his own bminess. I could tell Ryan was not too mterested in the others' life ambitions, yet he; politely nodded to all of iliem. lie wanted to hear from Alok and me. Ryan nodded at Alok. "Well, you know it," Alok said. "Tell me again." "I want to get a job in Delhi, so I can look after my parents and take care of our money problems." "Really?" Ryan said, implying he did not find the response so cominang. "Of course," Alok said robustly. "Really)" Surdy said again, though more out of affea10n ilian anything else.
100
rev r\J<nl.SO<uconc
The lice
'l'hroty I 0J
"You, lhri'" Ryan saul "I don\ know. I rc. lly did not know what I wanted in lilc. I haC: thought about the que-stion I did not want to h.l\'! a ilwpoint Gl',-\. and I did not want to l>c fat .tnd unattra<taw. 1 a bo did not \\.lilt to get tongue-tied in the damn ma;, ewn scmcswz I mean, I definitely knew what Idid not \\Jilt - . , I had il all in that cleparmtent. But knowing what I really wanted was difficult. "Of course you know. Come on, be a spon,'' Rpn urg<.cd Sport, that is Ryan'word. Ryan is alwaya port.1\nd Ryan is always thtn and attractive. And l an is always conlldenl and carefree. I hated Ryan. )et at that point I reahlcd what 1 rc.1llv wanted - I wanted to be Ryan. ' "N01hing much," I said, as I tried to mink of an answer. I surely could not tell e"eryone I wanted to be Rvan; after all. Ryan would ne,er want to be someone else. "Still, say something man.So wc can h .lr tht' thcor)." Alok said. "I want to be able to kiss my girlfriend, and kiss her an1 time I want. And even do more, like go all the w<y "im her ;, I still don't know why I said wh<t I sain. I mean. it was nn of true. Yeah, I did want to kiss Neha and everything, but I had wanted to say something differP.nt. "'Nho iyour girlfriend?" Surdy turned to me with interest. "Nonof your business," Ryan said briskly. ')\nywa} tcll us the theory no''\ sir," Alok said. n,oo drinks ' do\\11, he did not mind Surdy's overtures mat muth anymore, 'settling down into me masruline embrace \\ith 3 n;igned look behind hio glasses. "Gentlemen." Ryan said, sitting on the bed lie wano"' abow us all physiC< IIy. showering our uptiltcd htadwith hos
gospel kno\\'lcdg.: "Thank you for ooming tonight A'I am store -ou ha,c figured out, you are the lo"tst GPA holders in our llitlg. \\1:- are, gentlemen, the underdogs. 01eers to the underdogs Though Ryan was shJmclcssly working us up, we felt special at lx-ing tl1e failuoe:. in the liT grading system, and held up our hands high to a big 'cheers'. "And .this liT ;ystem is nothing but a mice race. It is 11ot a rat race, mind you, as rats ound somewhat shrewd and clever. So it is not about that. It is about mindlessly running a race for four years, in every class, every assignment and C\'\11')' t st. It is a race where profs judge you every ten steps, with a GI'A stamped un you C\'Cry semester. Profs who ha'-e no idta what :.ciencc and learning are about )es, that is what I think of the profs. I mean, what ha>t Ingi\'cn to this country? Name one ul\'entoon in the !Jst three decades." Sil<!nt:e ran through the p:trty crowd as Ryan\ 'pttth became serious. I hoped Ryan was really drunk, for mer<: was no other excu>t for uch patronizing crap at a party. ''An)way," RyJn continued,"screw the profs. Coming back, this system i\ n unfJir r cc. If you are a mouse who think or pauses t<> m kc friend\ \dth othcrunners, or stops to IIguo<' out"hat you want to do in Iii'<:, or drag bag[,>age from the past," Rpol aid, looking at Alok, ":hen you will be pushed behind. As \\'C ha\'e been pushed behind by morons like Venkat." Surdhb' J llying kiss. I guess that meant be approwd "But we can chang<" all thJt,R_,an said. "HO\,t" Anurag said.Atle.ast someone was listening to tiJi:. trash. "fly Ji,ing on our own term>. B being rat>, not mit.'C, \\urk togemer and beat tlw ')'>lent I "ill not ghe up m} fr. n<l, llor th is system. In fact, my friendships will beat the :.vstcm ."
"I low?" Anurag SJid aglin. "ll1at is for me and my close friend. You only get l.ht: theory. I did not say you get the pr3cticals." "We are not your friends?" Surdy a ked, his tone dipping emotionally. "Of course you arc. But I can only do this wil.h mr dose friend ." No one else protested. If nol.hing
1 ""' 111 te machining lah "ith Ryan \\ len I remembered my

date "ith Neha the next <by. 'lhis time, rnadam had asked for \(ift She made this whole big deal about how I actully newr gi:.c hc1 nythil1g, and how other girls got gifb from thcir friend,. [mean, it was asinine logic if you ask me, athere were thin"' could be ""inu me. and without much capital b mw tmcnt. To h:mth" nenl' to ask for a gift on top of this
'I"
else, Ryat's theory
d pri\'ation is somethino onl) a woman can do, as thev are mad<: tlil1'cnntly aftr all. Anyway, I 'd promistd l ll'r not wmwithout a gift and
Ull'll
formed .:ore entertainmt'nt at the party. One vodka bottle, tcn joints and three cassettes of Floyd later, the speech was just part of
I'l'ottld
'
had totally lot!, lttcn about it,
tlw c\-cning.At one a.m. the otherleft. Alok and I hdJXd

"That was a good party," Alok said. "I l:no\\; Fatso. You mi ed out on all thi$ with the bastard
"'lomorrow morning?" Ryan said "How will vou get a gift
Rvan clear the mess.
u, then?
"I tlon't kno,v, I jmt forgot. Ma11. will she sulk!I'll just huy No
Vtnkat," Ryan said, .1nd staggered to his feet. "So, what is "ith tht implementation of the theory? !low docs that work?" I spoke idly. "C2D," Ryan said. "What l.he hell is that?" It sounded like a code in tho damn sci-11 mo,ies. "Cooperate," Ryan aid and fell on his bed, only hall intentionally. "Cooperate?" "Yes, Cooperate to domirl3te, C2D..." Ryan said and cloM:d his l'yes. All that work for the party and the ,odka had takl their toiL 1 k had passed ouL 'Come, fellow mouse, let's 'l11c party was 01er
sonw d1ocobtes, bloody <'xpcn i\'C they arc though." ")cah, but cho<:olat<''( That is not origmnl at all
"'u11dc1 >hc doesn't gi\'c you any," R an :;aid. "Well whatewr. You haw any bright idea ?" I was irritated .lt hi\ <:ondu'iions, whid1 were probably right. "l11ink man, think"
V.\: thoualn for sc\'eral minute..,and threw out most ideas;

clothe too expemin, perfumes too frl\olous, books impersonal .111d so on. I had neither time nor taste to imprO\i-. "Make something for her." Ryan snapped his lingers.
"'
"\.Vh.:st?"
"Like, make an objc<."t ight here, in the lab. A handmade orioloal, from an cm!'inccr, how neat is that?" :::.
go to
our room," :\lok said
It "'cmd like an intlrc,tiog idea. ewn though completely imprat'IIC'al. And wlut if hl' \\.1. e>.:pccting mt' to SJXnd some
.&..- - . -
1\\00ftV
104 I'M: l'loinl &-n cnc
The floce TI>eo<y 10'>
"Make what?"
"I don't kno". Titink of some simple cJe,ice she could use."
Iuicd to think of Neha's life. She had tlus big purfull of
things "Ilow about a little box to keep her lipstick.? Tiuy kind of keep rollmg out of her purse when she takes things out." "Now you are thinking customer needs. Ok, lip,tkk box. Ho" m.1ny li ticks n1.1x?" "Three. .four." "And >i>.c of a lipstick?" "No idea. Say three inches by one inch by one inch.". "Cool. So, say we stack them two by two...a11d then we de ign with sheet metal of thickness..."
Isaw Ryan transform from the irrenrent liT underdog he
"What? What did you say this is?'' She twisted the metallk cigarette bo,.-sized case round and round in her hands. "It is a lipstick holder." I said. "Rt'allr? Nl'\-er heard of them." 1 asked her for her lipsticks.She had fi,'l:, which meJnt our design was below capacity. Anyway, Itook four - red, copper, brown and pink (why girls put coloured wax on their bodieb ontinues to be a mystery to me) and placed them inside.Snug
purported to be into this passionate scientist owr my stupid lipsrick box. For the first time ever, he pored o,er an en;!:',inccring drawino like he rcaU1 wanted to make one. lie thought of other cJe,er things, a snap-up lid, a little mirror, and her name etched on top. After the designing, he broke up the task imo various parts; cmting, bending, bufllng-aHconceptswe found boring as hell in class wer.- now .\uddenly interesting. We forgot about the ac:tual assignment for the day, as we ga1e a damn about our grades anyway.
fit, snap COI'Cr- the design worked perfectly: One surfac:e had 3 mirror, so the user could apply the coloured wax accurately and not paint their nostrils in the bargain. "Why lipstick case?" "Idon't kno": Ilike your lips Iguess," Isaid. '"l ry funny. And you made this?" she said. "Yes,with Ryan. See, it is personalized." Iturned the box to itS lower surface. 'Neha Cherian', the most beautiful name in the world was written in the most beautiful letters. "Wow," Ncha said softly, and then fondled the lipstick holder from the liT Delhi machining lab like it was a newborn baby. ''Wo\\;" she said again.
"What?" l said. (Okay, so I was llshing for a little more appreciation here rhan the monosyllabic 'wow'.) "No one has done anything like this for me," Neha said. And it was at this moment tl1at by pure chance I came out \\ith- the right line. I don't know how it came to me, but it just did. "Well, no one has meant more to me in life." Maybe it wanot completely true. But it wasn't all lies either (and in any case, it is about sa ing the right thing to girls, who gil'es a d3mn if it is true or not_ I am Hari, not Harishchandra). "Really?" Neha asked.
Three hours later, I etched out the last f :w letters of'Nd1a Ch<'rian' on her made-in-liT lipstick box. "ll1is is pl'<.'tty neat," I said, impressed the snap-opt'n m -chani m. "she 11ill lol'e this. Thanks, Ryan.'' "Ani' time m; .n," he raised his thumb.1es, I r<31ly wanted to be like Ryan, who llo,-e<J mos't of the time. At least I hated lum less than mvsel( ' I presented Ncha's gift to her at our ice-cream parlour.
"''Cs...
"'ntanks, Hari.See I am going to use it right no";"she said. I\\atchc!d Neha's face ashe applied her lipstick \lith th ."'cconccntr tion as Alok had when doing quanti problems. Grls arc bcauuful,let's face it, and life is quite, quite worthless without them. "What time you got to go home?" I said. "Say hy nine," Neha said. "I told them I'm meeting girlfriends for dinneL"
"\.\b\1, pretty liberal of them," I said sarcastically
10
Cooperate to Dominate
"They know I was feeling down.Thinking of Samir again." "I Icy, you want me to take you to a secret place?" 1 said. uwhcrc?" "TI1e insti roo" "What? Are you crazy. Right on top of the insti, as if there could be a worse place for going public!'' . "There is no one there. Ryan and I have gone dozens of time. And the ' ew from the bell tower is beautiful. n Icould sec Neha was excited about the roo( It took me a few minutes of persuasion, comincing her that no one would find out, as we could follow her standard 'five minutes apart' poliC) to walk up there.
"H
FRE, ONE COPY FOR EACIIOF YOU .,RYAN HANDED OUT .
''I'll go. But not today. It's close to nine. How about next
lime, and I'll cry for Samir the whole day so they let me go out until cfC\ n. I didn't really dig ber idea of using her brother as a weapon to stay out fate but her parents \\Cre certified weirdos and probabl) deserved such tactics. "Next time meet me on the roof directly; at eight-thirty." "Sure," she said, "you said it is safe, right?" "Yes, trust me," I " nke<l.
p pcrto us "ith the title: Tl If: C2D PLAN I had forgouen about the C2 D theory, but o iously Ryan h dn't. He had in fact been working on the official document. \Ve were sitting at Sasi's and Alok was busy "ith his second plate of paranthas, when Rpn dished out his plan for the re t of our liT stQv. "Wha sit?" Alok's greasy tlngertips kft marks on the slwct, olwiousl) needing a tissue more than an liT plan. There w ;. something about Alok " th his food that was too intimate to be watdl(:d. Iread out the contenu. Cooperate to Dominate. Tilt' liT 'Ptcm iunfair becau'><.': l . It ;oppresses talent and indh iduJ I pirit. 2. It i.'Xtla u; the best year< of oni.\ life from tl>( country's brightc>t minds.
"''Cs...
"'ntanks, Hari.See I am going to use it right no";"she said. I\\atchc!d Neha's face ashe applied her lipstick \lith th ."'cconccntr tion as Alok had when doing quanti problems. Grls arc bcauuful,let's face it, and life is quite, quite worthless without them. "What time you got to go home?" I said. "Say hy nine," Neha said. "I told them I'm meeting girlfriends for dinneL"
"\.\b\1, pretty liberal of them," I said sarcastically
10
Cooperate to Dominate
"They know I was feeling down.Thinking of Samir again." "I Icy, you want me to take you to a secret place?" 1 said. uwhcrc?" "TI1e insti roo" "What? Are you crazy. Right on top of the insti, as if there could be a worse place for going public!'' . "There is no one there. Ryan and I have gone dozens of time. And the ' ew from the bell tower is beautiful. n Icould sec Neha was excited about the roo( It took me a few minutes of persuasion, comincing her that no one would find out, as we could follow her standard 'five minutes apart' poliC) to walk up there.
"H
FRE, ONE COPY FOR EACIIOF YOU .,RYAN HANDED OUT .
''I'll go. But not today. It's close to nine. How about next
lime, and I'll cry for Samir the whole day so they let me go out until cfC\ n. I didn't really dig ber idea of using her brother as a weapon to stay out fate but her parents \\Cre certified weirdos and probabl) deserved such tactics. "Next time meet me on the roof directly; at eight-thirty." "Sure," she said, "you said it is safe, right?" "Yes, trust me," I " nke<l.
p pcrto us "ith the title: Tl If: C2D PLAN I had forgouen about the C2 D theory, but o iously Ryan h dn't. He had in fact been working on the official document. \Ve were sitting at Sasi's and Alok was busy "ith his second plate of paranthas, when Rpn dished out his plan for the re t of our liT stQv. "Wha sit?" Alok's greasy tlngertips kft marks on the slwct, olwiousl) needing a tissue more than an liT plan. There w ;. something about Alok " th his food that was too intimate to be watdl(:d. Iread out the contenu. Cooperate to Dominate. Tilt' liT 'Ptcm iunfair becau'><.': l . It ;oppresses talent and indh iduJ I pirit. 2. It i.'Xtla u; the best year< of oni.\ life from tl>( country's brightc>t minds.
3 h judges you "ith a drJconiJn GPA system that dcs:rn\'<

relationships.
-l
The prof., don't care for rhe tudents. llh lwc hardly contribuwd to the country.
Rpn looked at us as if he ""'expeCting us to break into 3pplaus.:. We kept silent, hoping he would explain where he
wls going 11ith this.
"So, what do you guys think?" he J kcd.

"You hJI'C the time to do all this?" was Alok's respon.sc, which was stupid bee use Ryan had all the time in the ll'orld. . I read on: o, the only way to take on the unfair \ptem " through unlatr me< ns- which os Cooperate to Dominate or ClD And thi; is the plan th.Jt Ryan, llari and Alok agrcv 10 for the r,.\t of their stay at the inMi. The key teneLarc: "What is this? Some kind of tc :11age dub thing?" ''If you agree, sign i1. Sign it with your blood." "Yeah right," I said, "How old arc we, like twell'd" "I am serious nun," Ryan said' and then before we could say anything, he Oicked out a razor blade from his pocket. In one nick, his thumb sprouted a dot of red. "Ryan, are you crazy(" Alok squeaked, almost losing his brcakrast at this gross act. "No.Just want to dri1 the point home. You decide what e you '"ant to do," Ryan said, signing the document 11ith a toothpick dipped in his blood "Can we discuss this first? I said. "What is there to discuss? I am not forcing anyone." "Like this whole sharing assignments and obserl'ations. Isn't that cheating?" Alok said. I agreed with Alok, though I was more concerned ab<>ut tl1e ,odka costs, given that Ryan out-drank us every single time. "It is not cheating, it is cooperation.They have divided us " th their GPAs, we are just pulling together to fight back." "I don't see it that way," I insisted. "Are you signing or not?" Ryan put his hands on his hips. I thought about the C20 one last time. "Well. I can sign
All ,Js.< ?Jmtml$ to be sb.ucd - ont person will do c.1ch

l .>'{!.!nmcnt furl!. 77Jtorhen ui/1 simp copy it. Sa ts tmJ<', .<..I t t'-' dupliotion nf' Pflort.
' H 11 ill ditide up the roun.( f'r!<ponsibilities.For insra11C'<' . if then art' six courses li1 tl1< .<<'mesta, 11e 11iff r.:: kc CJr,: of on!t llov ead1. One must Jlltnd all d15scs th.Jt 011,. i>
rcspomihle lor, but an skip :11/ orl <n. (note: Ro-an !l<'ts .111 Pr i'Vrw.1 courses) In c.Jcb c!.J;s )'OI.J ilttend lor your " c o
CVUI'St' -
take copious notes. The r11st tti/1 mere- copy
r/1('111.
l. Hi' sh.Jre lab expcrimem ob.<enations. 4. Our lii<ndship is ahoo-e GPAs. With all the nell' .yxrf'r! timt', 11 lit'<' our lio-e.r to the fulle>t. S. liE co111bint' our hostel rooms into one lioing unit_ ont
ct>111mnn bedroom, one room.
. uud,o room
:1nd o11c lim p. r 1 1
it, Lhough l am not cutting myself or anything."

"It just takes a sec()nd," Ryan said and Oicked the blade on my forellnger and blood spouted out of me before I could form my denial.
6. I H .y>lil the CO>I ol' vd/.:.1 r.prdles.< of'!Jolt' m.l/11' ddnk< <'leh J'<'I'<OII /,1 !J3d , <
110 fi\'C!Qol
uruck vou." ' Ryan buglt<'d and s-1id, "Sorry man, look at your face. C'mon man. get into the pirit. Jmt sign it." l looked at Ryan in disgust and signed the sheet. Alok 53! there, petrified like a dticken in a butcher shop. The old Alok would have vocili:musly stood up to Ryan, but the lll'W, impro,-ed '-ersion, j11st back with us, did not want to fight again. "I'U make the cut myself," he said flnall)t And soon he did get some blood from his little linger and we signed the C2D document like primitive tribesmen. I have to say, the whole blood thing made this feel important. I was not sure of what I had done, but somehow it sound('d exciting. \Ve conn rted our three single rooms into one apartment the same day. Ryan's room became the party room, Alok's was the study room with three tables and my room had the three beds.
")' " I said proud as if I had linger-painted the sky myself. es, t h . "Alld it's all ours. Check out the campus 'iew. See - I at s w cre you liYc," I pointed. . .. We -ouldn't see much, apart from the lights m the h"ng room. "Wow. We :ll'e
$0
' ncar to them, yet so ,ar," Neha said
dnamily. flopping on the concrete floor. "So?" "So what?" I said. "Where is the vodka? Don't you ys drink here?" "Yes. But you don't drink, do you?" "Says who? I'll ha''C one if you have some." , . "We do hide a bottle under thc bell. Let me look, Iwd, surprised at Neha's requcsL She was a nice gi_rl, I tho_ught. Nice
girldo not drink. But Ikind of could do wtth a dnnk myself,

so 1 came back \vith the bott.le. "Nice," she said, as she lay back against the dish ante.nna "look at the stars aho,-e, just so beautiful. I wish I were a b.rd. When people want to be birds, they are norm?.lly ': ng drunk. But she was getting trippy just from the idea of drmking
011
"So you friends mm-ed in together," Neha said. We were en route to the insti roof as per pian. She met me at eight p.m., her parents blissfully ignorant about her real whereabouts, picturing her by a cake at a non-existent friend's birthday party. "Yes, sort of. We combi ned our rooms to one living unit," I said, panting as "-e climt>ed the back stairs to the building. "Sounds exciting," she said, blowing the fringe out of her eye. It was already dark when we reached the roof. As always, tltcre was no one there. "\>\'ow, look at all the stars," Neha said.
the insti roof. "Oh, I could lie here fore,'Cr. Give me another drink," she
said. "Don't ha'-e too much," I had to caution. "I won't. My dad will kill me if he smells it." "Of cou1se you'll smell of it." "Not much, check this out." She opened her purse.Ten items later, she took out a pack of cardamom pods. "See, one of these and I
go home minty fresh."
Coopaet.e to o.,,.,1131c
Really? Then have one now, be mintv for me." "What? Do l hwe bd br<'ath?" she up straiuhter. "I d1 not say that." 'd .,
1n
:at
She held my arm and pullt'd me toward ht'r. "Look me in the eye and tdl me if I ha'C' bad breath." ."I don't know. I have never been that dose to your mouth, I s.11d honestly, even as the millimeters between our mouths lessened.
"It's Ryan!" I said in a voice mixed wim reliel and irritation at losing my moment. "Ryan," I shouted. "Hari," he shouted back, walking over. "Bastard. you are here and I was looking all over for you. Is tlhesomeone witlh v .ou?" "Ryan, I want you to mc l. .." "It's a girl!" Ryan exclaimed as if he had spotted me with a dead rabbit. Neha continued to cower behind me, attempting anonymity. "It's Neha,'' I said. "Neha, meet Ryan. Ryan, be nice and say hel.lo to Neha." Ryan's voice mellowed down instant!}:What is it"ith men; they become another person in female company. So predictable! "Hi Neha," Ryan said, trying lO avoid staring too much at someone he had heard so much about. "Hi." N ha said. still wuure ir Ryan muld h. rru<te<l "I was just looking for Hari to do an assignment," Ryan said. "Drop it Ryan. We're having a drink," I said "ReaUy?" Ryan said as if he t'xpected Neha to be winged nd haloed or something. "But I thought Ncha was not like that." "Like what?" she asked immediately. "Uh, nothing," Ryan said and sat down on the warm concrete. "So what ha'-e you beard about me?" Neha 1o.1id "Lots," Ryan said and stancd telling her sacred details almut all our past dates.11u:y kept talking for like ten hour
"Go to hell," sht laughed and pushed me away. "See, )Ou are chicken. Jut so chicken," 1 said.
"No, I am not. Look at me. a professor's daughter, getting drunk on tl1c insti roof with a five point something loafer." If she had not been laughing, I would ha,-e resented tlhat, but I decided to milk me opportunity anyway. "Loafer? So I am a loafer," I sail!. "Yc s, b ut. .. .. e unut what?" "But I )o,e my loafer," she said and pulled me toward her agam.our mouths were millimeters away. She tilted her head stdeways. Was he going to kiss me? Or ramer, was sheplus-two-glasses-of-vodka going to kiss me? "We don't need no ejju-kay-shion..." a hoarse singng voice startled us from our embrace. Someone had just come to the insti roof. "What the...'' Neha said, "I mought you said no one was here. n "I don't know. Shh...quiet," I said as we tried to hide behind the antenna. I finaUrecogni.t.ed Ryan's voice thrC'ugh all that bad singing and saw lum headmg for our vodka hiding place.
1 t4
rM: Point &::>aoeonc

1 wantco to tell Ryan l had just bcC'u g<tting \Uil1ewhtrt ni dy, thank you, when he whistled I> : "Yes, power. What else?" Ryan said, t:<lming down finalll'. ''1 cra,c power? Now that is a joke. You guy;, JUSt don't understand women do vou?" N<.>ha said, "ith a "odb-infused ' c<mlldence that could takt' on even Ryan. "lluh?" Ryan said, pro,ing that we really did not understand women. Neha had to go home soon after that, so we left the topk the-re.1 wanted to lK.T.:am at Rpn later, but he rolled l\\'O jointi for me and ga,c me a scooter ride back to Kumaon, ;.o l kft il. Uesides, Ncha really did not scern mad or anything. l had a hunch he might ha,< helped my case!
or something and l just kept getting more drunk. lryun has a computer memory or something, and he told her about the times even l had forgonen a bout. "He told you about the family planning documentary'" Neba titt red. "Of coun.c, he tells me everything," he said with considerable pride. I wondered if Ncha and I would ha"e kissed and managed more if bloody Ryan had not dragged himself up here. I considered pushing him orr the insti roof, but thought it would kind of spoil the mood anyway. "So why did you say Iwasn't that type of girl?" Neha ..aid. "You kno'v, the whole "odka thlng. You are supposed to be well...forget it," Ryan said. "What? Tell me," Neha said with a flrmness only goodlooking women po55ess. "You are like this good girl. JJke why eiSI! won't you let him do anyd.ing? Dating for a year, still no kiss even. just this goody-goody prof's daughter." "He told you that?" Ncha squeaked. "Of course. You think you arc dating a fi'JY or someone asexual? You don't think he has needs?" "Shut up, Ryan." This from me. "C'mon man. Show some fi-JtS sometimes.This is for your
0\Vfl
good.n
"Needs?" Ncha rCjX'.ated, dazed. "Yes, C\'ery man has needs. And pretty girls like you are either not aware of them or deny them for power games." "Power?" Neha repeated
The Cifl 117
!h-e-point GPAS. It is amazing how happy one can be with low expectations of one's self. I was in the design d:tss one day, a course for which I was responsible. Ryan chose to mend the class "ith me. I think he beliews he is like this great designer or something. Prof Vohra \'1'3S teaching us. "Oass, note down this problem that I want you to do in the next fifteen minutes. Design a cr jack to lift the chassis in case of Oat tires etc. Do a simple sketch " Prof Vohra was a portly man in his fifties, who had an unusually kind face fora Prof. Of course, nothing in his nature supported this. With six term papers a semester and a lethal red pen that crossed out one design su bmission after another, kind was hardly how you'd describe Prof Vohra. It was my course, therefore my hand that had to sketch the car jack with Ryan merely having to copy it. Prof Vohra had uught us enough for us to execute at least a basic screw-type dcsigtL I had just begun to draw when Ryan said, "WhMI You are going to make tlle same damn thing like the rest?" "Yes sir, I am not l11omas Edison,'' Isaid, "and this is my course so just shut up and copy it." "I ha\1! another idea," Ryan said. I wanted to tell Ryan to screw his other idea and copy my screw-jack. But I ne-.'el' say anything to Ryan, and he never listens to anyone anyway. So Ryan drew this 'modified screw-jack', in which one did not manually have to open and ratse the jack, A Oat tire did not mean the engine had failed, he said, hence one could attach a motor on the tndttional jat:k and hook it up to the 01r battery
11
The Gift
AM A l!ORRIBI F. PERSON ON TilE i"'SIDE AND THIS I
demonstrated while fiumg in Alok for tl1c morning classes, ctting htpractice of ''aking early during those Vcnkal d p. la)ing on thicklv me unreliabilitJ of R -an aod mt for any unrise joh. C2 D was great, I found out, a\ I was re ponsiblc for only two courst"in a seme>t r. For tlle re,t, Alok and Ryan ga'e me all the assignmcnb (which I copied) and their notes (which I photocopied). I returned the fa,'l.lur in mcourse< We nO'' need<"d 1.<1 spend only an hour or two a day in studies, lea,ing us with plenty of time for mo,ies, scooter driws, restaurant,, ch<.'ss, <oerabble, mdoor cricket, 'kcp, squa;h (yes, lt\'3n "'3' , t.ryin<> again) : no of cow>c, boO><' and grass The flrt minor, " that seme,ter \\We a l>rt'C7 . We dtdn't like ace the das. or .Hl)'thmg, but out xpectations werlow- jut maintatnmg our
118 f'iV<' 1'\:>inl
If one wilched on lhe car ignition, the moto could dcri\'c

power "\Vhat are you doing/" I said, worried bout Ryan' >kctchcof lhe car battery, o\wiously irrcJe,ant to the curr ut task. "You wait and e.the prof "ill lo,-c it," Rpn said. I stutk to my traditional screw-jack like the rest of the da\s, Tne couN: was called Dc.:;ign, not Onginal Design after alL Prof Vohra walked along the dasrows, looking at the t:.milia r designs that nil his students drl'w year aftcyear-1hc simple scrrw-jack His stroll ended at our desk "What is this?" Prof Vohra said, "'isting hihead around to make sense of Ryan's unfamiliar drawing. "Sir, this is a modified screw-jack," Ryan said, "It can be attached to the car's battery.... "Is this an electrical engineering class?" "No ir but the end need is the same..." Is thi an internal combustion engines da ?" "St' r b ut..." "If )'(>U don't wantt? be in mv class or follow mv course, ' ' you may lca,e." Pro(' Vohra's ('ace no longer looked kind. If only l{yan had kept quiet, he would ba,e mo\'cd on "Sir, this is a new dc ign." Ryan said, as if it was not pai nfully ob,ious. "Really? And who told you to Jo that?" Ryan did not answer, just lifted his assignment sheet.Then in one stroke, he ripped it apart in t>\'0 pieces. "There, it is u<<'less now," Rvan "1id. Prof Vohra'fan contorted and turned red, "Don't act
"5orry sir," I said, though it was not for me to r.ay it. But it broke the t nsion. The prof and Ryan looked at me ,;3 the wrncrs of their re> ctive eyes. PtofVohra exhaled and moyed on; Ryan sat down. "That wasn't \'ery smart. You know hcan flunk you,'' I ,aid to Ryan after class. "Idon't care. can't waitto g<'t out of this stupid place man," he 53id, lOcking the scooter stand as if rt was Prof Vohra's face. It wasn't Ryan's course anyway and he did not attend any furthe: classes in design. He directly copied answers of my a>,ignments mindlessly, and never as much as looked at the <jutstion-,hect. Yes, our gre.1test designer g;l\'e up. The three of us were in our common study room one day, <opving Alok's thermal science assignment. "So. Prof Vohra is mad at you now," Alok said.
I 1nart . my c ass... 111
Ry1n kept silent "Cf course he would be You should have seen his face," I t'Ontributed. Alok laughed, shaking his head. "lie can flunk me for all I care," Ryan stated "That is not the point." Alok began. "Fatso, you won't get Lhe point, so give up. By the way, Prof \vera called me to talk about my lubricant assignment. "Really?" Alok and I said in unison, wondering if ProfVcera h.1d caught us cheating. "Nothing to worry guys. I gaw him a separate pape.r. It wa<n't a class assignment.n "You ha\'C time to do separate pa rsl" I said "I ave time to do what I want. I had thought< on doing orne experimentwith various substauce mixture> to chctl lubricant efficiency in a scooter engine."
The C.dl I'21 I1.0
rM: Doinl &>meolle

"Yeah, though that makes you the mugger no\V," Alok $<lid "Iam not a mugger.You are the mugger, Venkat-boy," Ryan retorted.
MWhere?" Isaid. "Well, ideally in the fluid mechanics lab. But then we need a scooter engine, and a small budget to buy materials. Until then, I tried a few tests on my scooter.'' "Wow. you're screwing your scooter up. How will we tta"d?" I said. "It ifor science. I might be on to something. Anyway, 1 combined different types of oils to check mileage. 1 think 1 can beat normal lubes by ten percent." I hm: to s..y. l was impressed with Ryan. Against all odds, this man was working to reduce our petrol bill. 1 thought of all the extra paranthas we could buy with a ten percent lower fuel cost. "So, what did Prof Veera call you for?" Alok said. "I[e said he'd help me get the institute's permission to use the lab and get some research grant." "'M:>w! You "ill be a scholar man," Alok said. "Yeah whate-er," Ryan shrugged, "It is not that easy. One has to submit a proposa.l to Prof Cherian, detailing budgets, oond1ts, timing and all that crap, then a committee decides. It takes mOnths." "But if you do get it..." Alok blinked rapidly, "so neat man." "I have to work hard on the proposal 0\'t'r the next few weeks. Don't worry, I 'U do my courses, bur no partying or movies," Ryan said. No"\ if Alok had said d1e same thing, Ryan would ha"e blown a fuse. flut this was 1 '311, and we ll<'I'Cr said an)1hing to him. Besides, I was kind of glad he was into something sensible. "Sure, we'll tell you what you missed," I said and winked at Nok.
I have to say, it was never my thing to visit Alok's house. Just
the thoughl assailed me with medicine smells, crumbling concrete and cooking smells, topped by a middle-aged woman wailing at the drop of a hat. Yet, there I was one Saturday with Alok, if only because Ryan \\'3S busy with his do-not-di$turbmc lube research proposal. It was depressing to see Ryan work so hard and he did like three night-outs one week in the computer centre and the library. On top of that, he spent his days in the fluid mechanics lab mixing lubes and thi!n testing them on the scooter. Itold him about this movieat Priya in which there were as many as six topless scenes and he only looked blankly at me. Itried luring him with new cod:tail recipes, but Ryan stuck to six straight cups of coffee a nighL Objecti,'CS, scoping, budgeting, applications, past research -each section in his proposal was like a million pages. He submitted drafts to Prof Vecra, who almost always wanted Ryan to do more. So when Alok asked me to his house for lunch I found myself agreeing if only for the food.I had learnt to ride now and Ryan's scooter was free that day (though Ryan did gi'-e us the task of noting down the kilometres back and forth). Delhi roads are a nightmare and 1couldn'tdream of droving as fast as Ryan. Alok and I couldn't go beyond fifty, and Alok kept talking as I navigated the cows and the cops to the suburbs. "You think Ryan will get the project?" Alok said.sitting p1llion.
ne cut
I think so. His propos! alone is eighty pages, wh ich 1 think is a project in itself. And I mean, it is original work.."
1':13
"Ye. but you know he has to pur a CO\'er sbec:t on the proposal." uso?n "The cover she<'! carries the student'$ name and GPA. You think they'll fund a lll'e-point wmething?" "Why not? They'll read the proposal and decide." "They arc profs," Alok SJid, "and you know how they think." "Prof Vcera is with him."
.,.Yeah, let's sec.,..
rcccplion until they could sa,c some money. On Friday, Alok's father fell oiT the bed, which requin.-d a doctor to come home, ---' buck. 11 ere were other stories too - the 1 . JOOth <:r IlUI'd rt;U ration shop had started charging double for sugar, and the mad had ditched 1:\i<.-e that week. '':O.b, can you stop boring my friend," Alok said "No, it's tine," I said, reaching for more daal. Actually. lhc life Alok's mother led at home intrigued me. Somehow, h r dutchino her sari to " pe her tear; had been the only image Ihad be:n'tuck with for the past year but now Irealized she had a lift too. l11e challenges he faced were not quite lube research proposals, but pricey tomatoes nonetheless. "And you know the sofa springs are coming out.." she was sayina when AJok interrupted her. " om, can you please keep quiet. Ih;"'C come home after a month and that is all ou ha\'C to tell me." She looked surprised. "Who else will I tell my problems to? 1 have on y one son." I . "Enough mom," Alok said, his face turning red hke an expensive tomato. "I will keep quiet," AJok's mom agreed and started mumbling to herself as she ate he' food, "earn for them, then work like a SCr\'ant for them and then they don't e\'en want to listen to you. Physics teacher Mrs Sharma tells mt' these days sons forget their parents." Clang, Alok threw his plate on the lloor. Bits of lunch splattered all across the living room and he got up and left the room. d \'Vhal was I supposed to do? Follow my friend, w IO ba brou,,ht me here? Or sit and watch Alok's mother "''PC her
'M: reached Alok's house in an hour. I kind of $lopped breathing to skip the medicine smells. Of course, couldn't do without oxygen fore-er but luckily Alok's mom laid out the food soon.
':.\lok, sec Ihave made paneer for you and your friend," his mother said.
For a poor family, Alok's family atequite well. r mean, there

was rice, rotis, daal, gobi-aloo, mango chutney, raita and of course, mamr-jXJneer. I guess that explained the corpulence running in the family.
"Eat !>eta, cat. Don't be shy," Alok's mother egged me on.

The food was delicious but the con\'ersation tasteless. Alok's mother recounted her last week, ,,.flic:h was full of problems. The funny thing was olmost all her problems had one sol ution - more money. On Monday, the f1vc-time repaired geyser had broken down and there was no money for a new one. On \\\-dnc y. the TV antenna took a toss and a new one was too expensil'e. The f.1mi l y had to live with grainy
"'
1'24 five r:\:>inL &.ueone
The Gill 125
tears with her sari? !decided tod fth o none o e abo,e, focusing on th e niJt;u--paneer. The food k was ;, that is what h r 1 ki . ere Or, - 1 eame ept telling myself. Imtently at the plate 00 ng f N edl,css to say, it wasn't a happy visit home. Alok kin o coo et down, eame back to the livin ro the sofn AI k' th . g om, and sat on ,_ , o s mo er cncd her stock of tears, and went in to get ..:oeer. "Alok, what are you doing man 1.. "Y, ou tay out of this Hari. )ou won't und- d " Y. h h n ea ng t, I should stay out of this, l thought. But he was the one who had got me into tlli S. . "She has made khecr and everything Wh problem?" at is your
. r 1Cy are my problem. You won't understand shut up and walt or the kheer." '
"Hmmm.That is rrue,I said, wondering if Alok was now tdhng me a problem Icouldn't do anything about.
Vivas - the most hated, dreaded moments of my student life. 1 aoided them like I did cows on the road with their tails twitched up. But like the cattle in Delhi trafilc, sometimes you just couldn't a"oid running into them. And this one nesday was the design vi\'a. It was my roursc under the C20, and I
was supposed to take the lead on all questions. I tried to
...n
ronvince Ryan and Alok to help me, but the bastards didn't care ::md had gone to sleep at ten the pre,;ous night, leaving m<' ro mug through the night and prepare for all expected questions. It wasn't much use, for in my case it wasn't about knowing the answers.
w(' did
h
wait for the kheer. which
_r
\ s >a penect ' . ' t at Alok s famtly could solve half th<>ir problems if they ck to a .nor(' frugal diet but good food seemed . stu at he cost of TV r . vual to them, even ecepoon. It was their situation so I d out o{ it until we were on our way b k ' suye ., k ac . 1 now what you are thinking," Alok said. 'What?" "That how ean I be so heanless." woulonlydthing l had thought about Alok's hea.rt was that it un er tremendous strain with 01 fa ..1. "N h su a t-mtensh-e diet. a JUSt ba,en't seen you like that " I 'd I on the M ka . sat as turned "Tfl t ml hcrossmg, narrowly aoiding a peanut seller. a s a t ey talk to me about roblem more problems "Alok said "a d p s, problems and them?" ' ' 'n w at can I bloody do bout
. Iwas sure
"Hari, what makes C40 steel better than CZO steel for
making rigid structures?" More carbon in C40, hence harder steel, I thought. Also, probably cheaper in terms of costs. C20 was soft and could buckle. I knew the answer... if only Prof Vohra would stop looking me in the eye. "Sir, C40 steel is..." I said as I looked back at Ryan and Alok to evoke some pity. ..Look at me Hari," Prof Vohra said, ''l am asking J'OU." I didn't want to look at him, and I really wanted to get the answer out. But all I got out was fat drops of sweat, on my face, arms and hands. Four tries and three different questiorlS later, Prof Vohra
gave up. Ryan shook his head and smiled, as if he'd known all
'lite Cil 1'1.7
along that this would hanpcn Alok kc t c.:alculated h ' P qUiet, as he mcmallv ' 'o ow many mark> 1\'t' had Iost. "S rrv ,-.lf\s. 1 sal<1 at dinner, "I k you d . ' <> ' own agam. I hat( vhaman." rhe mess workers tosbed r t' tl out of; I tore one ha.rd h . o IS 13 you could make jeans "Wh t h ' opang to rdle,e my tt'n,ion. .. a appcns to you?" Alok said. I don't lu1o1v. \VIJenel'er someone asks me a queslio . a str es.sful situation, I can'I say n an .. anything." Sancc when?" Alok said. "Since hio school," I sa'td . uh " S omething happened?" Rvan $aJ 'd UN , o...I mean yeah, nothing " I 'd .. Vh ' $al \ at?" Alok lklid. . "Forget it. Pass the rice, I can't di st th . hkc ch('lvino PUm .. .d ge ese rous. They are e>b, 1 sat.
"I can't think of anything," 1 'Jid. "No m<'re 'm3ke-your0wn-gifts', did that with the: lip>tick hox already. ;.o it won't have the same effect. And I am so broke, I can'l gilher something expen il'e." "How about something u eful but cheap. like
h3udkcrchicfs?" Alok nid. "Shut up Alok." Ryan aid. I was glad he said it for me. 1\lok h3d as much of an idea of romantic gifts as himother had about cabarets.
"Ryan, what hould I do?'' I was panicking. "Well, It doesn't have to be expensive, as long a; it's a
sUTj)rise: \Vho doesn't \ike >urpri;,es?"
"like 1vhat?" I said.

"Like being the first on.o to ";sh her," Ryan said. Ryan's plan was quite origin31 (and cheap); to break imo her room, right through her window on the eve of her birdlday. At midnight, I would be the farot one to wish her and the surprise would sweep her off hotr feet (and hence eliminate the need for a real gift). It wa' a crazy idea, for we weren't jus< breaking into my girlfriend's home, hut a prof's house, that tO<'t h an as usual I was clueless .,- er. "You lme to make it special ''' R n .d We were skipping class and hali I . ' :ra sat ng 1unc lan ute canteen "Special how? I have no cash I cane n; I riPht now" 1 s 'd en a on toothpaste
o , aa .
agreed.
o 'd . "N u arc not bru,lling vour teethI " AI0k sat , I ook up ' mg n . 0 man I'm usin.o Rvan 's '' 1 'at d. '"nvwav com , t1 pomt Fatso, what should 1 do?" ' ,, c to te "Think," Ryan said, knocking his head like he I. a was so g
So, at eleven-thirty p.m. on a cold December night, Ryan, Alok and I quietly slipped out of Kumaon. Ryan dro,c uto the f culty housingcomplex and parke and m11gging had only just begun for the !light. Tho.: rrofs ,\(-pt hlissfull)' while their
nude
11n
)'OIL
ar P tystcprohlem. lie i$ a patronizing bastard, I tell miniom worked away through the night.
'l'he Cil1. t ?.9
"R an IOU 'ure we can handle th. l" I y \ . f IS. asked one last time house. "1\S o Prof "Shhh f Chenans . . o course, we can, but if onl Ryan said as he lifted th I Y you keep qui t." sl e atch oiT Chedan's gate Icncc, apart from a gentle creakin . l'ntt'red the den of th b g of the gate as we I look d e rauty and the beast. e up at Ncha's windo'ima .. peacefully, hrr heautiful r. . I .' glnlng her ,)ecping .k .ace g owmo in the d k qLUc ened. " ar . My heart
as we neared the I
"Are you cra7;f?" I said "Nice touch," Ryan said, "now get ready." We knocked on Neha's window using son'e pebbleS from de roof. Nothing happened at the lirst pebble, nothingon the second and third. "It's not working, she probably sleeps too deep\y," t\lok
said.
"Keep trying," Ryan said. We kept throwing little pebbles like morons. Probably a
. "Alok, come on you perPd.
go
llrst. On the pipe
now," Ryan
million pebbles later, we had a reaction. The room light switched on, and the window bccarne bright. Climbing up a pipe was hard enough, but the next step wa> the real killer. Iwas supposed to dangle myself over the ledge, with Alok and Ryan holding my hands for emergen support. ;
But lirst Neha had to open the window. "Quick. say her name before she screams in fear," Ryan
gl\'e you a push, Rpn said .As he climbed up th e n 1msy stee.l ; h gonlla hanging onto b L_ P pe, e looked like a 3 amuvv suck Th t e pipe breaking given h' . ere was serious risk of h ' IS masand the h steel (see, our engine . '- strengt of galwnized erlng ..nowled d1 'd something), so we <l 'd d . until ge chamount to Af he eo e to \ Wit tcr Alok it was my turn foil -ed rea ed the roof. up the pipe in seconds 1i ' . O\\ by Ryan, who shimmjed p f en mmutes to m'1d . h ro Cherian's root: ntg t, we were on It was pitch dark. R, f "'e tried to na\io:>te th yanghmthall y switched on a flashlight and ,rou c ware 13nk s and clothes left r to dry on the roof. "Wiw I . redis her room?" Ryan whispered pomte mutely a nd we moved toward the I dge "H ere arr the flowers " R .d e of sunflowers from und ,}anh t as he pulled out a bunch u er nts s trt. Where did you get theo;e?" I 'd "J u \ now, f.rom Chenans gardoe;anJ."
"This is impossible " AI k . "I'll . ' o said.
said "Neha, it's me," Isaid, nol whispering for the first titne in halH an," N e ha said as she opened her " ndow, "What are hour. "f you doing here?" "I can explain. Let me come in ftrst," I said, and sprung
myself over.
"Are you cra7;f?" she said 01nd rubbed her eyes e--en as
"'Y
legs dangled in front of her fact. "Careful Ryan," Isaid. "Who else is there?" Neha said, by now completely awake and completely in hoek. "None... I mean only Ryan and Alok." I aid as I S\vung my
--- -
-elf inside the window.
no rove A:.,int&
"Careful," sht Mid aII 311 /-- < = on on > nd ddicate cus 111011\ on a rug 1 )' a girl's as on 1 gJI'<.' a thumhs-u i Ill room ' a/ ,_ the "indo\\: P gn to mv fnends and banged shut
P1<'ll)"
,.,c,n n1
"Nothing. And I'm sorry l startled you like that." uh's okay, Ilike it," Neha said, "Iguess it is kind of \pecial Con'le sit." She made me to it oher l><:d. I 5< t down as dose to h<r as pos<ible, my eyes drifting down to hl'r chc t. Girldon't wc;,r
"Hari, what exact/ c1 said, "\.Vhat if D , _>, o you think you are doingr Ncha ' ' WaKl's up," Sh d' noticed her nightd h . ' <' a JU,ted her hair a 1 . . ot e>. She "'Ore I . I mghlle with littk blu rl I s ee" ess, \lmple c:otton L e t ang e> J/1 ov(' As 1 ucautiful. r. a"'<}s, sh loolt'ly suits them betu:r. At the same time, I thought of the po.sibility of J>rof Cherian
walking in through the door. "What are you thinking? Look into my eyes," Neha saiJ "Huh...nothing. llappy birthday," I>aid. "Aren't you going to kiss me?" My eyes JI'Cnt w1de as Uf'() saucers. She drew 1>.-!ck. "%it a minute. You want to, right?" "Yes, of course." "So now?" she said. "Now what?" I said. "Are you going to kiss me or what?" Maybe it 11'3s the flowers, or just the whole exciterwmt or breaking in, or maybe e n that she had finally grown up. I moved forward, and e<-en though Ihad seen a million kisses in mo1ies, Ican't tell you how hard it is to deliver a good one the first time. "Oops...not so hard," she said, "gentle, baby kisses first." She led the path from there, and frankly, Iwas too excited an<! >eared to do better. But I had my first kiss, right there in Prof Cherian's house. "Shh...Daddy's got up for water," she said, pushing ml
awa\ '.
Th(' flowers were crushed and alr . o;omrthing about flow d cady I"Jited, but there is us an women So h0 reproducth-e tools of pi .c me " eeing tlrest ant-1rre works d our. Neha\ an"''r . hd won ers. It dlills them . .,. laru< e and I uld '>'9rked. ' co tell the rdea hn,J
"Sunflo\1-ers," NehJ 531'd "', "F n'lr re did ,.om your garden aCtually " you get these I" "What?" N h 'd e a sar and thrc'' , Such a d!eapo you are,,. ' Stl'm at me, "you loafer. took a cushr on rn response d ' . was just ge lng excited bo h .an threw it back at her. I fo h a Ut e llllpendi fl ng ower and pillow g t when she nip. . h r-uJtmtebud ''Do ' n t mess with thes< cushions CO\'ers." I hand-painted Ule 1-land-painti sh' . og cu JOn cowrs I w . orne on .\uch useless pur ? I ' '10 can grrls waste Uleir h UJts mean R d Jle cushion '0-en let I . ' yan an I didn't e1cn "Wh ' one palntd ones at are you thfnkmgl" Nr!ha . . held '") hand. saJd as \he carne dose and
'Now what?,'
"Nothing, he won't come up. But you should go now"
"I want to stay." "Just I? no-;" she said as e pu>hcd me otT the .in contrast to her lo,ing looks moments al?. It was pointless to insit. Besides, a part of me wanted to get the hell out of there before the gig w..s up.
. . :h st'<l us or wa\ wo scared to do I don't k:no"il Chenan c 3. . o until "" reachec. ec ot u' did not stop runmng ID but I \l' tllr
s scocur. . ' d ou say that?1 repro,-.:< 1 ' Arc you stup"d or whatl \\'h ul ) -we rode off. 'J s'r it's onlv ,our san-in .. h ld hl,.C 'l.ll ' ''
"So, how was it?" l an >aid a> I was pulled b3ck on tlw roof "Nice. \ ry nice," I said \\ith .1 big grin sphumg m faa' which said it all.
Creuing down was as much an art as dimbing up, hut the real problem was as we reached the lawns. Som.,one had switched on the li.ing room light. "How did the light I? on?" .'\Ink satd. "Don't kno": I think Cherian woke up lor water," I said "Let's <-nmi out," R an said as we bent under the \\1nd011 to be out of 5ight. 1\ bucket feU Misily a> Alok crawled through the grass, loud enough to make all our "htspel"> poind< -.s. "\Vho is it?" a nule mke canu: from insid"' we heard footsteps. "Fu-.-k, it's Chcrian. Run, get t:hhell out of hen"," Ryan said. \\e 'topped ";th the slither; crawl and ran for our liws. If Chcrian had scen u,, he would ha1-c our butll> out of the college right then. weJ'1 j11st outsile the gates "1en d1e door opened and l1wrian ame out in "h.lt looked like his "ife', nigh wn. "Who i. al" ht shouted, adju>ting hi> spectacb ")our father," an yelled a>""' ran .t\\J) from tht ht>u
law \\ l lhf:n."
Yeah. right. 1 s ou ld' brought the c.lrin\..-, out .h .c>tllC friends.I k wou l'e
\\'e
10
u felt fmty-ou canll"ell im.Jgine what will happen if Dad lind,
-out. Remember how he called cops co .Jrrest a man 11ho ,.hist!ed at mr at the campus bus stop? And the rime he c/wnged the home phone number becJuse a male clasmwte . c.JIIed !'or notes? He wants to bring up his dau ghter right. f ,ml his mission in !IIi. He doesn't
f just
11'illll to
12
Neha 8peaks
make the SJme mist.J ke
rnice. Did I'OU hat: to do chat to me, Dhaij')'J ?

11
nt co tell you, don'c II'Orry about me for I knoll"
girshould begood. l
Somcci111C$ 11eel chisguy is onlr interested
in geuing physical Ocher girls ll'ho hJ1 boymends cell m<'all boys arc the same, !l'ant the Silmc thing. But am l tell )'Ou somct!1ing? I:"-en I want the same. No, no I h.nen't done :mytlling)'f.'l, But then, every non.11d then / get curious, start 1
!fiR /Jf/A/l'YII,
imagining "'hat 1-!Jri ll'ould do i f' f let him. Is thinking tl1at ' bad d1ing? Oh 110, here 1go, throning qut'ltions Jt )'"Ou again. Let me tt/1 -ou more about HJri. He b;" mv friends- ran iliid 11/ok. arc nucs. Now don't think I ha-e started liking liT student.l or .wyching -just that thes(' guys arc dillerent. For one, che)' c.w barely remain stud :nts with their f j,.-poim
I don'c know hall' and ll'hen )'OU 11il/ wad this, thi.< lcur , that l''t' got tO 11ritc .m}"'' I .1111 .1/11ap -compo>ing np/ies to th.u IJ.51mJil of)"Ours, the 'one I'OU ""ntl<'d onk tome chou"h Co I am not h.1ppy about the exdusiu., lJut chen I bat' told J'OU that lxli?re.
., , #
77J;,.
At l1<l_; let me tellyou , bout this boy /met. You could c.1ll > 1-/;m n boyfriend, though I don 't. lie is ,, studem, Ciln )"Ou " bc/irr tt? Rcmemba bo,. nt' /wro c. en IJT student 11f10
/b-ed on CJmpus? Wt- mer in chis cot.1/, stran,or: manner, thrrr

<omeching : bout him ch.u dre,. me lrom che bc inning. g
11,1< et:
'
sonwthin; GPAs. 1knoll' ll'hat)"OU arc thinking, they an the kind ofscudcnrs Dad nvuld hate, Jndyou are thinking she is hobnobbing nith them for priM:b" d1at reason. l!>u arc nrong, Bhaijya. lou knon on m1 f 3st birchda; chc1 broke into our house, t!Jt'-'C .; /rulers 1 am ralkinf? abour. Hari came imo - room .wd g m: me !lou"('r.pluck:O from our garden!/ hope Dad ne-er !illCf,
Nor nrr t;ood looking or " 'thing, nor super sm:Jrt but there he n;1 . tllis sil!r bumbla. you c;rn guess, Dad .wrl 1lfom ha t! no due, somethin!! rh:JI I' t!tJn>C co fil-e 11irh sincr:
out .1hcmt him the vrong ''"a) And f hope I c.m keep metcmg ! him forel"r::r. 77101rgh there i.s so much more I don't yet knoll'
.1hout Hari
plan is the da) H.ui gees .1 job, I nil/ imroduCI' him to DJd. I me:m, DJd >ill rill flip his lid. bur at leac then> uould he somec ing going lor 1/ari. Right non, he is a lirrle bit of J /nstr ilyou ask mt. Sorr); ,11 Jill being me.w. But in some 11 1'-<, he ;,_ For one thing, he is hesocuxlnith Ryan. "R)'Jil this, Ry.w that," bugs me no end sometimes. I don't think chis 1-an /JI!'' is .,IJ that cool Hi>ars branded clothes, but that is onb because his fl.mnts are loaded. I person.1lly chink belllnd all this!JI!I''s aggi-ession there is a 1-acuum. Sec, that 1:< the thing with these !ITguys and their college, they ill arc too unpped up in chr brid:s and ll'a!ls to know who chcy really are and wh.?l they real{r want. I Wdllt to cell them-be/Orr youget all gung-ho about working lor the future, work our your pas/ ,md prescm but that <ill just sound So grandma-ish .md I .1111, n-ell, so )'Oung.
13
One More Year Later
w
tud
WERE DRINKING ON THE INSTI ROOF TIIIRD YEAR
r,.H:/1, thJt is .!II I shill/ '""itc lor nour I promise to write 3pin, and I promist' co begood. But do nor cell Dad 3nd Mom 11--hJr 1'-e been babbling about. See, I ktpt your lase promise ;md ba.. n<>t cold ilti)Vne about your lecter to me ho11 much c ePr th.1t broke me, so keep mine. nos, I know Mom would not ltae bt.n .1ble co cake it. She hardb speJks these daxs a11-m1): did you lea rc us Bhaiyya? It isn 't JiJir; you know
w,.
that, right?
Missing JVU, Neh.1
alcohol no longer a nol'elty.l'his meant we could s now, ent , rtifv ha, n a ood drink bs and not throw up e,._.ry time to ce g g -'. our sorrows today for two reasons. time We were mownmg . I . f orking the (lies the mecha n1ca Fintll', after a year o " ' l be .... h d II reected Ryan s u prOJe._, engineering department a roo y J . When dl I had messed up yet another \'1\-;t. proposaI Seco n Y 1 it came to screwing ,h-as, I am the man )'OU want. . on . ct I hal'c wasted too much umc "Screw te Iubeproje . . I. blood)- nTii<."3\ of you. Why it. look at you, l 15 50 lian. ;r . ,. . But ' '1 '' Ryan said, m who;c ICJil) do vou get so tonguc-tc u. -d .,. t:onf idctlce corpus<:1cs 00"'- lar<><'r than red. ..1 wish 1 knew." 1 squinted. frustrated. You kno" the ' "\'ou know u,_, answer to the ';,-a questi ons.
I
an"wrs, right?" That was Alllk.
plan is the da) H.ui gees .1 job, I nil/ imroduCI' him to DJd. I me:m, DJd >ill rill flip his lid. bur at leac then> uould he somec ing going lor 1/ari. Right non, he is a lirrle bit of J /nstr ilyou ask mt. Sorr); ,11 Jill being me.w. But in some 11 1'-<, he ;,_ For one thing, he is hesocuxlnith Ryan. "R)'Jil this, Ry.w that," bugs me no end sometimes. I don't think chis 1-an /JI!'' is .,IJ that cool Hi>ars branded clothes, but that is onb because his fl.mnts are loaded. I person.1lly chink belllnd all this!JI!I''s aggi-ession there is a 1-acuum. Sec, that 1:< the thing with these !ITguys and their college, they ill arc too unpped up in chr brid:s and ll'a!ls to know who chcy really are and wh.?l they real{r want. I Wdllt to cell them-be/Orr youget all gung-ho about working lor the future, work our your pas/ ,md prescm but that <ill just sound So grandma-ish .md I .1111, n-ell, so )'Oung.
13
One More Year Later
w
tud
WERE DRINKING ON THE INSTI ROOF TIIIRD YEAR
r,.H:/1, thJt is .!II I shill/ '""itc lor nour I promise to write 3pin, and I promist' co begood. But do nor cell Dad 3nd Mom 11--hJr 1'-e been babbling about. See, I ktpt your lase promise ;md ba.. n<>t cold ilti)Vne about your lecter to me ho11 much c ePr th.1t broke me, so keep mine. nos, I know Mom would not ltae bt.n .1ble co cake it. She hardb speJks these daxs a11-m1): did you lea rc us Bhaiyya? It isn 't JiJir; you know
w,.
that, right?
Missing JVU, Neh.1
alcohol no longer a nol'elty.l'his meant we could s now, ent , rtifv ha, n a ood drink bs and not throw up e,._.ry time to ce g g -'. our sorrows today for two reasons. time We were mownmg . I . f orking the (lies the mecha n1ca Fintll', after a year o " ' l be .... h d II reected Ryan s u prOJe._, engineering department a roo y J . When dl I had messed up yet another \'1\-;t. proposaI Seco n Y 1 it came to screwing ,h-as, I am the man )'OU want. . on . ct I hal'c wasted too much umc "Screw te Iubeproje . . I. blood)- nTii<."3\ of you. Why it. look at you, l 15 50 lian. ;r . ,. . But ' '1 '' Ryan said, m who;c ICJil) do vou get so tonguc-tc u. -d .,. t:onf idctlce corpus<:1cs 00"'- lar<><'r than red. ..1 wish 1 knew." 1 squinted. frustrated. You kno" the ' "\'ou know u,_, answer to the ';,-a questi ons.
I
an"wrs, right?" That was Alllk.
0oe He Yeur !.ala 1'39
I nodd<d my head. h was pointless.Three years of praCtice in "i"as did not lca,e mr any less petrified. "Ryan. you know I hate ,;vas But c'mon nun. You must feel like crap," I said. "What crap? I only did ten night out'on the proposa!, tht re, i<;ed proposal and spent like a hundred hours in the lab. But in the end, Cherian shot it down. 'Too optimisticand fantastic,' he !>aid. I l'ould ""ing his bloody neck," Ryan announced. "13ut you know your idea is good." Alok said flatly. "Of course it is. E,cn Prof Veera thinks so. But Chl'rian docsn't, and he is the'htad. Anyway, S<.Tew it." "Is it lvmpletely o"er?" I aid. "From my side. Prof Veer.might tty pri,atc spon orship or ! Dmcthing. Pretty muc:h O\'erthough I should say," Ryan said . Alok sar quietly, picking his nose and ipping his ,odka. It was disgusting, but it didn't bother me anymore. It is amazing how habi t immunizes you. I looked fully at Alok. "At least you are happy." "Happy?" Alok echoed, "good joke" "Now what happened?" I s: id. "Nothing. Nothing bloody happens in rny l ilt: ituation. That ;s why l am nC\-er happy. Sister needs to getmankd, that is thr latest lguess." Alok had a point. A miserahlc home, p9intlcss !,'l'Jds and loser friends wahardly the route to happiness. AtleaM he had the joy of picking dirt out of hi.nose in the company of his friends. "How's Neh ?" Alok <aid.
n further though?" Ryan 'ght . Have vou gotten a y uye3h n " said. . ed her now you know," Isaid. "like what? Ih3ve ktsS d th s much more than ere 0 An "Yes but like ten yeaag \guc-ticd in front L . . Yoknow that right? Or do you get to. u ,.t. of her as well." A]ok tittere<l. . "Nch . not that type of girl." " " 1 satd a ts "Screw you "yan. bo So make her that way," he "But you arc th3t rype 0 Y
said.
"HOWt
,,.
t r to ((umaun. Time . d k we decided to rc u n d Once tt was ar ha1meant "-e only ha k ...vt for that. For t dd go on, and \I 1an Q"'' 1 this laCe.' sO manv fewer days lelt m . " I said h 11 oe tS 0\ r. "I he happy " e n c eto. 'll ' o " A]ok said. rfected duC20, . ''At least we have pc "when was the last ,. R.:,van said and smtr " ked uOf cou r , se . h of us did his own :t>signmcnt? 'd tune eac . though " 1 sat . sometunes 1 p they gt've us careful Y "It still scares me \ f ever read t1e era "Why? The pro 5 n . . _. -as e--er. " Rvan dtsmtS>CU, '-"" 1 ' " Al k 511.1d 'lbey'll nC\er fmd out, 0 . 'at though, "1 heard . n to start 15 r Cherh Chenan an . . ftnally_ume tor d ftnd out soon; tt "as d oement or lndem. . I ineerin an manato . teaching industna eng 1 am not attendmg " . 1 11 "" ..... e bastard "ill t ch W> 1tn a Y 1C!'\, u1
"I can't tell you everything."
any of his classes," Ryan said. . under C2D," Alok I . Hm's course s the dad." . res "You don't hase to, t s
"She's line. That is the only thing tint keeps me in Ill " l ;,aid.
SOl t
'd anJ wt nke d "our o -v wants to tmp . ou,
1-40 five Poinl &x.cooe
One HCC'C YCllr late-r 141
" II. at <ome point I do want Neha to tell her dad about me. Wouldn't be a gooJ start if I ;,kip nil his clas;.cs," Isaid. "I h ate Iu'rn," Ryan sad simply. '
ooth taut cheeks Instead of Neha's long ancl supcr-sm , . , beautiful hair, Cherian had a bald spot bigger an a Nrula s hamburger.If she dressed to act in a horror mo.,e, Ncha would look like her father. "Time and motion studies arc the essence of Indem. As . ho ld be able 10 reduce human actions t o engmcers you s u . . ,, measurable tasks and stop talking there 10 the thtrd ro", Cherian said as he threw a piece of chalk at two students who had found a private joke too good to resist sharing it in class. Meet your father-in-law," Alok whispered. "Looks like he can eat me alh-e," Isaid. Cherian heard the whispers and stopped writing on the board. :ie turned around and banged a duster on the tabl . No one talks for the next sixty minutes," he pronounced 10 a no-nonsense tone that would make Saddam Hussein shudder, "is that dear?" Chalk dut formed a cloud as if Cherian had burst a grenade in the classroom. Behind this, one coU:d barely see his contorted face. I wondered how Neha had spent an entire life living with him, wanting to rescue her that very instant. I thought of eloping with her, making the escape through the roof while Cherian slept. But where would I take her? The hostel was hardly handy, what ,vith aU of us sleeping in one room. Cherian's llrst example of time and motion study was of a shirt factory. Let us say there were llve workers, now . ey could either make individual shirts each, or one coulcl dMde the shirt making task-s. For instance, the first worker could C:Ut the cloth, the second worker put in the first stitch, the th rd sews buttons and so on and so forth.
No one skipped Cherian's first class. That is, no one apart from Ryan. I was curious to e in person the devil who tormented my girlfriend and my best friend. Others went to see the head of the mech nical engineering department of the best engineeri1g college in the country TI1ey said Cherian was a perfect lO in his fiT student days. I didn't know much about the man, apart from the fact that his daughter was a perfect 10 to me. I had reached llve m'nutes early, and for the first time in three years, had taken a S('at in the first rov. I don't know wh); but I reall wanted 10 do well in his course. Perhaps a11 A in I ndem might give a good first impres;,icm, leading th<.' way for Neha to introduce me. It just sounded better- "Dad, meet I lari - the guy who topped your lndem course," rather than "Dad, meet fiari. The loser who scraped a C in your course." Prof Cherian walked in precisely at nine, and brought with him a huge pile of books as if he had just robbed a library. "Pay attention e-eryor.e. Let us start with the leaure," he began in a firm \'Oice. There is somed1ing about seeing your girlfriend's parent for the fll'st time. I couldn't help but notice how Chcrian was an extremely bad replica of Neha Uke her wax statue had puffed up ftrst and then begun to mdt haphazardly. He had the same jaw and round face like hers, lowe..er, his face was twice as big, "ith chunks of loose flesh hanging \\'here Neha had these
"This breakdown of task:. is calk>d an assembly line. But you ha'-e to ensure tht each task is of equi! time to a-oid bottleneck$." Therefore, if cutting doth took six fntnutes and the first stitch took three, 1:\\"0 "'Orkers could do the first job. "This wa}; you can ha,c a fast assembly l ine. 'v\brkers focus and get more skilled at their tasks. And what is rr.ore, you don't need ('xtra equipment - like instead of lh-e ssors, )"OU need only one," Cherian sa1d. It all sounded \"el")' reasonable. After ill, that is what engineers should do right? Tell "-orkers how to work more efficiently, thinking up de\'er ways to save resourCe$. "He makes se ." I said. "Just take notes. Anythingcan come in the quiz." Alok said. The Fatso will remain a loser, I thought, except at nose, where his pickings "-ere rich. I mean, I am no great thinker or anything. but sometimes one does listen in class. All is guy wanted to do was mug in class and puke in tests. I thought of discussing Lndem ";th Ryan. Sixty minutes later, Cherian put his chalk down. He modified the- shin example ten times, to show various time and resource allocation combinations. In typical liT fa$hion, the simple example somehow converted into com plex equations. The prof ga-e an assignment for the next class using these equations, which mea.nt two hours at least in the library that night. "Are you stupid. You found this lndem crap interesting," Ryan said as I to.ld him a bout the class. "Why? Think about it, instead of each person cutting and . t heo se'n ng... "
.I r to a doth <.utler or reduce each tal o ''So. \OU want tO bots?" Wh are theY bloody ro button sewer. r apply the optimu:auon at ' No. just being smart Sec ' you equation." Wh d ou want the worker to say o) he equation . . at od ., Or that I cut fift) pieces "Screw t Th I made ten shns t a). m .lt hon>C? 3t . . mind-numbing eada job "' of cloth? Do you realtze how
1 Pec<>me. " . . n J sa .d 1 "lnat tS Sl11Y ' r! n cv" bout imprO\"CU CtuiCJe. .-r a d k his own shirt an r h vorker wants to rna e (beri.an crap, "But what eac ' . . the design? It IS JUst the same wants to lmpro'-e . " lik mindless rnachmes. treat humans e end his class, Ryan. I can't explain ..1 think you should att to make sense." 1 IS iL H( seemed "ou want to na1 h' 1' ,_ to you. "Of course. he matcCS
w
11 IS
daughter that's why." aU 'ght It is high time c to dass n . " "A"; shut up. JUSt com . stem a chance. . ,.0u give th ts S) re chances Now, gwe ' ---' stem so no mo .
"It's a screw" p sy 11.
'
."
me the assignment so I can cog
II.
. . te for a walk-date.A walk! met Neha outside the a nstl ga . If . d for a long walk to .th our gu nen date is where you go "'' ). on or at least )"Qu . rtd uaht) conversau O <"t some fresh ar a hq gaboutw al.'-dates is t}.:ot they are .,' . say so. The rea!great t m . my turn to !ill Ryan's nearly broke as tl was b . choice. Neha chose free. To me, . teo ' ou 5 1 I ast ume, 'twas t1 f m the campus via scooter tank ter return tnp ro the route, a f.,ekilorne nearby _.;\lages.
I 44 Five Pcinl &o1cone
One l1orc Year tater 145
. :so, tell me. What did you think or my "DadNeha said as IIshe expected me: to jump in excitement. " on 't really know him, but pretty strict Ithink. How do you hvc with him?" "You owhis really impressed by good stud ts. l hope you are gomg to do well in his course."
"Iam trying. But l have never got an A. And he gives like a dozen assignments a week. Plus thee is a viva component that I hate.''
We reached the temple and sat down at the parapet of the neglected steps. A stray snoozing dog opened an eye to look at us. In front of th<: temple was a railway line. I guessed it was for the Delhi ring railway, the local city train that no one really used and ran only once en]ry couple of hours. "What is this temple doing in the middle of nowhere?" I said, casually picking up her hand. The dog didn't care, and no one else was really around. "I think only some villagers use it on special days. But I )ike it here," Neha said, leaning against me. We kissed, I don't really know who started it. That is the cool thing about having a steady girlfriend. You don't have to struggle every time you 1vant to kiss. But that was the farthest you could go with Neha. lput my hand on her shoulder for support. Then in a completely planned but seemingly unintentional manner I let it slip dovm toward her chest. .Maybe this time her reOexes wouldn't be as strong. "No!" Nc:ha said the moment it got interesting. She pushed me away and 5.\l up. "You .are so beautiful," I said, trying to be as mellow as possible.. "Shut up," she said and giggled, ''your corny lines aren't going to get you anywhere. Ha,e some shame, we are ncar a temple." Yeah right, I thougl,lt. As. if kissing next to a temple was oka but somd1.ow the classic 'slide the hand carelessly down' was not. Neha, I tell you, is the queen of contradictions. I tried to get clo$e to her again, it was useless to argue. ''Just kisses. You know this is wrong," she warned.
"If you doget anA, I'll probably tell him that we are friends " "W 11 I . 1 .. e . arn tr} ng. vay, where are we walking to?" Iust keep walking, l have a place in mind."
, I kept sil t, hoping she had thought of a seduded place. rhat IS all one wants when one is dating, an empty place with nothmg to do, no one around. Yet, you see dozens of fast-food places, cinemas, and ice-cneam parlours, all targeting the dating
crowd..Why don't they just make rows and rol-vs of empty rooms mstead? . Ncha took me through a mud-path that led to Katwaria semi-naked kids looked at us curiously as if we were a different species.1\vo buffaloes loose from their sheds v.-er so taking an evening walk, and one seemed to follo;v us. e you sure you k:now where we are goingl" r asked doubtfully. "Of course, 1am. See that temple at the end of this ath over there." P ' I squinted my eyes. There was a temple flag. around a kilomee "'vay. After a while, the buffalo following us gave up on the Idea, and the two of us were alone.
l'l!lage, few
One l'lc<c Y""r ltcr 147
We. did our making out, or rather m trying-to-makc-out routine for half an hour, after which $he had to go home or something. We stood up, threw the dog a last glance ami started walking back. "Do you bow my brother died on those tracks?" she said. I hadn't really heard much about how her brother died. Gory stories kind of just put me ofl' but I guess guys ha,-e to listen to their girlfriends. "Really? No, I didn't know. How did it happen?" "Istill remember the date, May J I. Bhaiyya had gone for a jog. We got the call mid-morning. I mean, Dad got the call
r..c topper to him . "Perha ps Ican introduo: )Ou as h IS cou . 1 y ,. She winkccl walking ahead. o;o.nc ua . h dH I waited the prescribed lh-e minutes and then ea c or Was I in love with her? I kicked a pebble out of my campus. 1 way; if only she wouldn't be so good all the ume.
He tOld us only in the evening and I ...wasn't even allowed to go sec the body." Her voice began to quiver. We were nearing the , Jlage, <0 I wasn't sure if Ishould let her cr} on my shoulder. But she h rself chose to, and I
couldn't do much. 1'Neha, it's okay," Isaid, conscious of two urchins staring at u. The only time they had probably seen a guy and a rl embrace was on screen. She only moved away from me when the number of kids watching us had gohe up to eight. "Wo"\ no\,- "here did they come from?" She wiped her eyes. The eight kids, mostly naked, looked at us intently as if they were watching a "See, she is a heroine," I said to the kids. "Ra,-eena Tandon," said a three-year old in the crowd Neha started to laugh, much to my relief, given her moods tended to be long. We walked further, until we came dose enough to campus where \\'\' adopted separate paths.
mm.
Vodbs 149
"That is crap. Don't you w:mt to do something you really

Jikel"
14
Vodka
OK RETURNED llYPER-IMRR ED I ROM HOME llo" < re your dad and mom?" I a.lkcd al d h. I . sasl.,$,not e'en asking what the d il t .11 ' ene Uolusual sile nee at I a Y speoa $ were . .
''!like money," Alok said as he finished his food. Until he hnd the money, paranthas would do. W<: were mid-way through the semester now, and every now nd then I would start thiniUng obout m} goal - to de weU in lndem. By third year, every lilian knows his place. We were now five-pointers frozen in our place; we had modest ex-pectations, and our grades never disappointed us. llowever, in lndtm wanted an A, something that had never been on
my grade sheet. Alok warned me about my lofty ambition.

"Ch rian will chew you ali,-e man. You hardly sle<'p these days. You know he gives only two or three As, right?"
A..
"I do But Ihave to gi,e ot my best. It is not just a stupid
"MISCnhle as usual. There was another bi d ' th g rami at home . rc s yet ano er suitable match form sist r but we can't cough up th . bl Y C Sulta e monc'( Hen 'e 'th say no or sion IOU . . " " e1 er we tl . . " s, meanmg gwe it later when I pass out of IC nstJ, get a job and then pay for it." That's touoh" R. d ' ., p n not e ' who had just joined us after ki wa ng up com his royal siesta. "0ut H u my d ty . . ' man an dI love them 1 d trouble," AJok said dully. on t see It as
bst weekend The ,
grade, but Neha at stake." "I low much ha''C you seared so far in the aS.It!,onmentst" "Thirty-three out of forty. Worked like a dog on all of them." "kright. You need eighty total to get an A." ''I know, out of that the ,;va is ten, and the major is fofrj-'' "So unless you get almost a full score in the majors, you have to do decently in the ''ivas.'' "I kno": So this time, l have to pull it through," I said, abjectly nervous at the thought "Just relax man, a B won't be that bad." "An A Alok, I want an A." "f'inc then. All L e best," Alok said as Sasi de.J:,ered more paranthas "How i1 your girl?" Ryan said.
"So wha1 J'ob ar 0 ' Y u gomg to take. up'" 1 Sad. r "Wh' I l IC1eer pa,s the rnosr I d on I C31"'," Alok said.
Vodko 151
"Ncha i> line. Ju>t took me 10thplace where her tm>tll<:l met with the ac:cident. Isn't that wc:irdl" I said "Maybe because you arc >pccial. And the plat:c hold> sp<: cia meaning for her," Alok shrugged. "fatso i right. She likes you man," Ryan said. ''\V"hen her brother die anyway?" "Around three years ago.May II tube precise. He had jogging when they got a call mid-morning. hit b) a ring ra111Wa tr;ain. n "Wow, that is incredible," Alol.. '-lid, "and I thought no u;.ed the ring railw: y." "He wasn't using it Fat<O lie just got hit by it," darificd. "'Yes, pretty gory." I rolled Ill) eyes "Though ,d,o goes jogging on a hloody hot M.ly mt>rnnr Rvan wanted to know. ' "Shut up man. 11H:&'UY is de<1d, <1nd you arc making of him," I protested. "No.That is not what I mean. 1 mean, hey Fatso, what does the first ring railway train run?" "I don't know," Alok ;aid, busy cMing his paranthas somewhat pissed at the frcc1ucnt reference to hint as , "I know, ten I think. Why?" I said. "Well, think about it, ten in the morning in May. I it i$ dose to forty degrees and crap hot. Who goes joggillg a May morning?" "Well, he did. Otherwise h" wouldn't have died, '"'"''". Alok said, obviously irritated H<' nc,-cr went jogging, so I he didn't know better. "I know he died. But my point i.." Ryan d, "an! lor o:ct it."
What? I w nt to kno,.;'' I said. "My pc-int is, was it an acc:idem at all."
1 woke up with a headache on the day of Cherian's \iva. There were a couple of weeks left until tht major, but to<lay would seal Ill} Jndem fate. "Try to ltcp, try to sleep." I had rold
01-sclf
about a million times the night before, all to no u<e.
'
WGod, you look a me . Ryan greeted in the toilet awe

n
were sha,ing together. wcouldn't sleep much. lid!, I know I am going to <Crt\\ this one Uf," [ said and slapped water on my face. Ryan pcessed the nozzle of his Gillette shaving gel and prepared his twin-blade sensor ra.or. I lis parents had sent him all these contraptiOns to look /!Yen better as if the guy needed to improve his look. Why -ouldn't he get a few pimples now and again like say Alok? "listen I lari,'' Ryan s.'id making dean strokes across his cheek, "yoL hav( bu tcd your as; lor this course !ready. You mess this np, and ll1ere is no hope for you man. You probably know the answers better than anyone else." "Since when has knowing the answers been a problem? And this is Chcrian, even normal guys get seared," I saicl. "See, I am not even going for his viva. But if you arc so scared, I ha,-c an idea." "You aren't coming? Ryan, it is ten peretnt. And Cherian "ill go apeshit if a >tudent doesn't even come to the ,;,a."' "I han vowed not to ,;cw that hastard's faC(' amuch as I can. And "no cares about ten per nt, I don't ha"' the dad."
10
impress
"Up to you. I still think you should come. Anyway, what is your idea?" "Idon't know if it will work." "Just tell me man. Iam desperate," Isaid. Ryan "iped his face \\ th a towel. He opened a bottle some fancy o,crpriccd American aftershaw and splashed liberally on his cheeks. "Vodka: the solution to all problems." "What? Vodka? I am talking about a viva Ryan, I am organizing n party ." "IknO\\\ But you know how vodka makes one less in tibitcd and makes you talk more? Who knows, a couple of S\\ it may work for you." "You are crazy. The viva is at eleven in the morning. ll hardly the time to drink..." "If you get a l.CrO in his viv., you think Ncha will introduce you to daddy?" The image of a 1.ero and a B or C in Indem flashed across my mind. "How much?" "Just a couple of shots. Come, I ha'-e some in my closet." I went ro l{yan'room whet<: midst branded clothes hid his Stash of alcohol. Alongside the bottle were en:el<>pes, all " th US stamps. Ryan poured vodka in a steel glass, making it a thm-.tult. "What are those envelopes?" I said. "Nothing. Here, one shot...one, two, three," Ryan said. Icouldn't belie\'e the envelopes \\-ere unimportant. I mean. there were like a hmclred of them literally. "Letters from your parents, aren't d1cy?" I hazarded
Vodk:J 153
"Yeah. Herl' have another one," Ryan said. "You sure this won't be too much?" I said. "No. In fuct have a third one just to be sure. Here, !'II accompany you. With that, Ryan joined me in my third shot. The \'odka went do"11 like a llreball, hitting my empty stomach, spearing
..
my intestines.
"All right then, off I go to meet the daddy," I said cheerfully. ''All the best, Hari. And listen, just don't tell Alok about the en,-elopes." "Tell what?" 1 said.I hardly knew anything about them and
1 wouldn't have if Ryan hadn't mentioned it. "Nothing, jut don't mention it. They write e'-er} week, and end a cheque once a mo11rh. I nc--er reply, that is all." "Why don't you reply?" Iasked, basking in the spirit inside
of m. "'Cause I hate them. Actual!)' Idon't care about them. I mean, neither do they about me. So why pretend?" Ryan said. "Ryan, you know this whole big deal you make about not caring about your parents?" the ,odb spoke for me. "Yeah, what about that?" "Ido11't think it is true. Imean, how can it be true?'' I said, ignoring his hostile stance. Ikind of meant it. With all the Gillette and aftershaves they sent, how could he not lO\-e them? "It's true. You are a kid i111ife man, just go gh-e youniva," Ryan said and lit up a cigarette. Smoke made the man more profound. "I am going. But if it were true, why would you kep all the letters?" 1 asked, beating a retreat.
guc .
Cherian w.1s already in das.. My turn '"ame in ten minuts and I next to Alok "Wh<>tc 1s Ryan?" he whispered, llipping through hinote' t\lok always rc,;scs until th" last minute. "IIt' i'skipping it," Isaicl. "What? He is crazy mJ1 lw hook his head. 1," "Says he doesn't care. Just as hc doesn't for his parent ," I said, obviously the second phrase came because of the vodka. ''Are you oka); Hari? You unc.l kind of garbled. And what h dut smcll...wait ha-e you been drinking?" "Shh...keep quiet. Just a little bit. Ryan said it helps n:la." "Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. Do you ecr think for yourself?" Alok said. "H,ll'i," Prof 01erian called my name even before I could an wer Alok. . y moment was here. My first A was to be: M dc:cidtd in the next Jlloe minutt'' "So, what is the Japanc<e W\tem for manufacturing that lo\\WS inl't'ntories?u Prof Chcrian st:tned as usual without any greetings or pleasantries. Just a straight firm voice like from a machin.:. "Good morning, sir," I said. "Good morning, Hari. Now answer my question." His eyes looked like big, bulging ver ionof Neha's eyes. "Good morning, sir," I said again, to kick-stan my brain. "11tat is fine, Hari. Now JnSII'Cr plt>ase, if you don't mind." "Sir, the Japanese im-entory lowering system..." I began. "Yes, that one. You know the answer or not?" Prof Chcrian said, hiroice getting louder. "I Sir.. ..ISIT... " S31 u . . .I I "It is J IT or Just in nnw. Cannot believe students ro<.lay
I . l queSiions. Next one, what is the ot an wcr 'ut l mtp c . " ,-.rtJt , hctwc<n assemblr line and batch manuf3Cturmg? .0 dI renee . " .. . ,-en imp I c qucsu on s1r.. hie. I id 5 lr. I h . h. U1Arc "Will' are vou talking like that? An< w at ts t IS sme . I ,,. J unk Mr l lari? Arc you chunk Ill my c ass. ,-ou 1 Nc) sir. sir, I actually know answer, Sir,'' 1 reterat....d I
# ;
dcsX'I'atcly. d I" r"You are actua11y drunk gut> of thc;,e students to ay be l'rof Chcrian said and threw a piece of chalk right at me. l_t hit me on tltc cI1cst an d hurt a little b-en though I was dr unk, .
1 knew somNhing was going wrong. I wa\ act\lally speaking at
this ,-iva, but not making any senst. "Sir" I said. "Ge't out of tny class now. Get out llO\\ " Prof Cherian's face turned rccl a n<.l he slammed his Iiles on the desk, I pickcc.l up my notebook to IN''C when Ch rian came. toward Ill<'. He took out a re<l pen and marked a arde on "') sheet. Then he made another circle 01-cr it. \'OU "Zero, that i' what you desen-c 1 m.s h I could \-e ' .. negatIH\ " he s aid , "and you better do well in your maJors . for l am not going to let you get away from this that easy. I kept quiet. All those shots for a zero, which I could ha\'C earned nw clf an)"'"Y with or without I'Odka. MFuckl" Ryan slammed a fJSt against hh palm when he heard tht> story back in Kumaon. . . ?" "What fuck? Who told you to suggest such a wetrd tdea. Alok said. "I thouoht it would work but the shots were too big," Ryan said. He 11 5 playing. with a basketball, bouncing it back and forth <>n the wall.
Vcodl. IS?
"Will )'OU CUI our tlut noise?Alok s; id, "So what are going to do now Hari?" "Do what? I lose the A l(>r sure. And Cherian thinks a drunkard. Way to go for hi, daughter's boyfriend," 1 covering my face with my h nds. nlump,-thump. thump. Ryan kept silent as the only he nadc was "ith the ball. "Stop it," Alok said, grabbing the ball from Ryan, something solid now!" ok!''someone shouted from outside. It was the <P<""'" guard downstairs. "Phone call for Alok," the guard shouted. "Must b... from home," Alok said, "Come Hari, no discussing lndem now." I came down with Aluk If for nothing else but to distracted from the I ndem !Iasco. "Hello, Mwnmy. How are you? Yes, I know I ruwe not home for a long time," Alok said on the pho11e. "What? Didi got engaged? Oh, you mean the boy's ha"e agreed," Alok said, his \'Oice e."cited. ") s. I am really happy, how is Dad...I know...of ""'".., I'll pay for everything once I get a job Mo:n...yes, you taking a loan for gifts..." I could hear only half the conversation, but could ,.,. , .. much figure out what was going on. Alok's parents had ;,.,.th m<1nagcd to pdlm off their daughter to someone. As c'--pbined later, the groom's family w:mted a Maruti car dowry, but had agreed to defer it until Alok passed out start! working. That's when the marriage would take hut at least they had a deal.
"Congratulations, your sister ib'<'tting maTIicd. Is your faallily excik-d? 9r like <3U or somethingsince she'll go away?" 1 id to Alok after the call. They arc relie\'ed more than anything I think. I just hope 1 get a job that pays for this d3mn at1'air. Apart from the car, there will he a funCtion as well."Wh)' don't -ou guys marry her ofT later-? What is the big hurry?" "The older she gets, the more do"T)' people will demand. Waitiav "ill mean more <'>.:pense 13ter. I'm happy the deal is
cut."
"
It sounded like credit card debt. If )"OU don't get rid ol it now, it will cost you a lot mor<' later. The relief was
unclcr tandable. "What does the: groom do?" I said. "Oh. I don't kno": I forgot to ask,- Alok said.
wral weeks later, we were in the Kumaon messeatingdinner. It was Thursday 1 guess, for that is when Kumaon had 'continental' dinner. In reality, it was just an cx<.'\ISC for messworkers to not give us real food. 'lltc menu sounded nice noodles, French fries, toast and soup.It tasted awfuL The cooks made the noodlt's in supergluc or something - they stud: to each other as one composi tc mass in the huge serving pan. lltc f-rench fries were cold and either extremely undereookcd or burnt to taste like coal.11tc cream of mushroom soupcould ha"c been mistaken for muddy water, only it was warmer and SJitier. "This i s bad man," Alok <aid as his noodles refused to \'acate his fork, "I told you let's go out."
"I didn't know it would be so b>d. And lhc semester is almost O\-er I am totally out of cash. "That is right actually," Alok sa1d, "b<.ucr start studying lor the majors. Less than ten d>ys 1\0\\;" "Yes, not tt1at I <arc now. AJtcr lndem messed up, I don't rc.Uiy care beyond pas ng each course." "Ryan, I think you should focuon lndem. Cherian didn't like you missing the ,;va. He smirks when he mentions your name in class attendance." "I know," Ryan said, dropping his half-eaten French fry in disgust, "I got sixteen out of forty in quizzes and zero in viva. Need twenty-four out of fifty in majors to pass it." "Not that easy," I pointed out rhc obvious. "Worse case, I Ounk. So what?" Ryan said and tried the soup.Without caring for etiquette, he spewed the contents our from his mouth back into the bowl. "Chcrian will make you do it again, it's a core course," Alok said. ''Like drinking the soup you just spat out." "Fuck," Ryan said. I wasn't sure if his comment was ai cd at the food or the prospect of repeating Cherian's course. "Man, if only I had an A, I could finally get Neha..." I said. "J think we can still do something," Ryan said. "What? Drink enough to forget Neha?" I mocked. "No. If you completely crack the majors, you can still make it, right?" "I ha,e thirty-three on forty, need eighty for an A. Major is llfty points. How am I going to get forty-seven on fifty?" "No way man. Ryan, don't trouble d1e guy more.It is O\'er." "It is not Ol'er, ffil' friends, iine"er is. If I tell you lhat you can get a perfect score in majors, will you belic"c me?"
spend t\\Cnt\' hour" a n . JnuCI11 311 ., quesUOIU 1 am $crewe .. be full of surpmc , ton ?Ryan .s.,id. 1 "What if you kn<'"' thqud d , . g?f\lok said. 'f? R an an: you "amm "What if, what I ) I m tryin g to help my amino Fatso. 3 "No 1 an'l not t re ,, . '\\C. canb the major paper. oet . d !tU.Il>' fncn I d "!low?" I was arrcste . . ffi " ltvan said. . f Chenan o ICC, ' "By sneaking It out o I . c took uarounJ tbat a ful m1ntt1 1 Alok and l fell . t or f the ide, along Sl ten prcpostcrousnes o . th" much time to d lges u, the unpalatable food. I . r pa[:ler from an 11'1 '" I 't? Steal a bloo< y nUJO "You mean stea I 'd h .0u said?" Alok sal . . " rof? Is d1M "' at ) . It is not uch a b1g. d . d clramatiL. P "Don't make 1t oun 50 ?" A)ok said and walk .., II are you nuts ''Arc you nutS? ,c me, . II reoccupied with my 1 cnt out as "e P u1J out of the mess. ". N I pcc;iallv " th how I co ' t r wtth e ,a, c. coming cncoun c 'th clach.l) dearest. dbnu:.> 111)' past e.ncounter "'' 'd I
tO
J
OreUc<l P1:ndulu11
lbl
pocke t - two A4 si:z.ed heets stuck together- and laid h out on the grass. Employing two pebbles as paperwcoght, he began with a flourish, "This, gentlemen is a map of the on'tt buildmg. All profs get the major papers ready and printed a week prior to tests but our Cherian's a paragon, so his must be ready c:1en earlier. llere, Chcrian's office is on the six'th Ooor. The roof is on the ninth floor..." Ryan's face was inten,e like Alok's "hile \\Tiling his exam paper. rltis wanot a casual com-ersation; he had pondcrcd o"':r this for a while. "I told you the whole idea was crap. H ow c3n you force these details on us as if "-e\-e !>aid yes," Alok !>aid But that is how Ryan . he decides, and tl1en ht propo;<s, and then he docs what ver he wants to an)way. "Ryan, what is all thts man?" I said "Just li>ten to me. I lari, I could get you the A grade you want here. Imagine, your girl will finally not be ashamed to acknowledge you. And you too r11tso, an A won't look so bad on your grade sheet when you apply for jobs cith r." "But it is so warped, so..so wrong, Alok protested, looking at me for supporagain;l Ryan's latest 111adnc. s. But l was already thinking of walking hand on hand \lith Neha in the inst.i gardens when the moon was out. Could I really get an A?
15
Operalion Pendulum
Tw,
"
r>e l
A1ok .sar . 'd
Guys, JUst l.sten to mi.' " "N0 way, you can't do thrs
1\'Exr DAY AT K . . UM.'\ON LAWNS RYAJ-1 WAS HIS LORDLY
PI . ease. stop thrs nonsens e "
"He has a point" 1 c d d though. ' once <' ' not fully sure of what it was ys JUSt rstc.>n to me for a minute? y d ' IMle to do an th. " ou on t "S " y . rng, l yan said, sounding almost reasonable ur-e, Isard.
"Can you gu
I'
we ha,e lh-ed in this place for three ears ri h ha, e we aot}" p 'd ) g t? And what "' '}'an sar . "Oh, don't start about the syswm bein era ' come to the point,.. A1ok said. g PP} Ryan. Just "I will, I will," he said, realizing that he didn't I h , pat' d' xact y .we k rent au rene.: in hand H c too out a sheet from his
A
"It is wrong only if you get caugltt right?" It was kind of hard to argue with Ryan's!ogre, especially if you "-ere drearning about your beautiful girlfrilnd at that time. Yes, it is a cnme only if someone catches you.Other"ise, it is ju$t a neat plan.
"But. ." Alok ried again.
')\np,..,y, let me finbh, R\<:n said. without letting Alok finish now that I looked half wav there.
"TIe roof i> on the nintlt floor. So, if I su pend myself "ith
ropes and then SJil do\\n to O.<!rian's "indo"I can
roon1."
get to hi<
room. )ou gu)S can help me, ju<t like we go: liari into Neha 's "Arc you crazy? Neha's room wa1 ea y. no ropes or anything. And ilw msti building is nine floors high," I said.
. could mac a nosc. or Ule movcmem could lw " ut we . th ds Remember, we an:nm .. . I tc sccurirv Jeeps on c roa <;t,'<'n bv t 'J We 'ust might he: ><'<'II / h ( hut hanPing, by the s1des. ontcroo, " k' boed ,, . " R,an s; id, loo n>g r . "C mon gup .' " Alok said tearing blades ol gra" "loo risk). for ;.oet. t the 'thouoht of R)-an hung-: had to no<l, too. lkMc es, JUS .,
1:, .
"I am not scared. I have done rock climbing in school,"

Ryan said. "What if dw "incJow is not open?" Alok said
. . " upward made rnc sweat . . d 1umpm., 'd. ?" R,an said, arntatc t any better I cas. ' l' "VI'e ' you go I" M" t'\ariositv J ' "What were you PIanm ng 10 do next anyway got the better of me. ,. R:an pointed to the >td< "Okay hNC arc the next steps, Y . . . II ' " 'itdl on lioht on the opposite ng1 \\3 11 of I he paptr One, S\ l d"' b '-g Three oprn the ' th for a sea e rown "" . 1\m, >can t: ro; m .of major paper. lou, and take out one cop' h k . h back r;,c g<-t the -.cal \\it a na e ba . g . ' US ing .l L. die and fresh seal, lastcn t c 31l
I rould sec Rvan liked Alok's queMion Not only hec.au\t'

Ryan had thought about it before, but because it nwam Alok was hu)in!! mto this. But wait a minute, was I on board \\ith this just l><'caus. it w;s Ryan? An A would be nit..: though. "Yes, what about the nindow?" I said. "The irmi "indows ha,.. latches that arc w<:akr than .
hdl out of then." "Sounds simple enou
AI ' 'd gh ft that a er '

O> . S.1l
"hut
I mt
,.
'>
rubber bands.They arcthe same windows a,in Kumaon hostel Onc bang on the back and it opens." "Still, you will ouspc1HJ yourself frona the roof?'' I said "I said I wasn't scared." "\Vhat if sonll'one sees us?'' I said. That is the thing about Ryan. He is brilli m. hut also learJe,s. This machhmo might lead to an o,cr-confidence that could kill the plan. "No one "ill seus." Rpn said. "Yeah right. Jut three guys hanging on to the insti roof' a
IL<ual. lnstitut<- security \\'Ouldn't care, eh?" Alok smirked.
we can't 9et tn. 1 \. go no\v. 1'm hungry. .e:t , "Ther" ' could be a way," I said e
"
''What?" ffi c door" I ;aid 1 H' ta'n rePUar o tc "Through the door. ts 11 1 " k ' that i I k? or :oursc vou now "I Jowl Break the oc . ' cll e'll know the impossible, with the nob<:' and e\'erythmg. n '
next da1," Ryan aid. d 'th'tekAv lsaid . . . m ,. "Nu lock breaking. Jusq,ocu n cle.,-n )'"' u ' 1 k 'd "Ke\? Where the hell "' I you gct the kcv ' A o .SJI h . '
ft
"Fatso. it \\'ill b., uper dark," R -an said.
1 "hom Neha \ car kty . licr d3d'5 0ffice keys are an

l
hunch." I air! It \\':IS the silcncl" of Ewnonc fell sil\nt for fi,e seconds admirati;m for shcr brilliance.
I M rive P,:>in l arone &
"\\b\1I gues you jU5t lm-e to 'l<.>al the S.1id.
key' then, Alok
"Why not jut neak them out lor half an hour and make a duplicate/" Ryan said.
"I guess. Not the euit thing to do, but an be done," I-aid, and smiled smugly at my own genius. Cherian's office waan open door. "Hari, you an. a killer man. fhat is awesome," Ryan said.
16
The Lof18esl Day of My Life I
TilE) SAY NO 0:-lE DAY CAN BE TOO SIGNIFICANT IN YOUR
lie finalized the re\ised plan again. It seemed simple enough no\\; and we had im-cstcd too mucb time in it to walk away from it. "So we go up at night, just as we go to the roof for the ,odka. But we stop at the sbcth floor and raid Cherian's office," R\an said. "Not raid, just turn the key and slide in," 1 said, inp.:r,onatinl! a mock kev with mv finocrs b
.., I
i
"Yes, up yours Cherian," ! an poked air wilh his middle finger. \\e all laughed and shoo!.. h.1nds. "Let us gin this operation a name. Something se>;v, something unsuspicious and simple." ' "Something th3t will swing our miserable fortunes in this place," Isaid.
life, but I tell you the day of Operation l'cndulum was the most memorable and 1ongcst of a11 my Illdavs Each moment, ,
each
l'l'l'llt
is YiYid and frch in my mind as if it happened
l <''t<'t
")es, this swinging operation can be called Operation Pendulum," Rv:n s-aid. ;
And on that bright lawn with our sun-lit eyes, we blithely chccaeti in unison, "Operation Pendulum!"
Ja,. It was the da)' that chan!,OCd our li\'CS, or at least ' dunge d us. 11wrc was no formal date set for Operation Pendulum. It
was kind of like, we'd do it the day I got the key thing done. The ma 1 were less than a week away, so we were sure ors Chcrian would have the papers by now. And of course, we'd need l>Ome time to figure out the amwers to those questions. So the $00ncr the better.
I M rive P,:>in l arone &
"\\b\1I gues you jU5t lm-e to 'l<.>al the S.1id.
key' then, Alok
"Why not jut neak them out lor half an hour and make a duplicate/" Ryan said.
"I guess. Not the euit thing to do, but an be done," I-aid, and smiled smugly at my own genius. Cherian's office waan open door. "Hari, you an. a killer man. fhat is awesome," Ryan said.
16
The Lof18esl Day of My Life I
TilE) SAY NO 0:-lE DAY CAN BE TOO SIGNIFICANT IN YOUR
lie finalized the re\ised plan again. It seemed simple enough no\\; and we had im-cstcd too mucb time in it to walk away from it. "So we go up at night, just as we go to the roof for the ,odka. But we stop at the sbcth floor and raid Cherian's office," R\an said. "Not raid, just turn the key and slide in," 1 said, inp.:r,onatinl! a mock kev with mv finocrs b
.., I
i
"Yes, up yours Cherian," ! an poked air wilh his middle finger. \\e all laughed and shoo!.. h.1nds. "Let us gin this operation a name. Something se>;v, something unsuspicious and simple." ' "Something th3t will swing our miserable fortunes in this place," Isaid.
life, but I tell you the day of Operation l'cndulum was the most memorable and 1ongcst of a11 my Illdavs Each moment, ,
each
l'l'l'llt
is YiYid and frch in my mind as if it happened
l <''t<'t
")es, this swinging operation can be called Operation Pendulum," Rv:n s-aid. ;
And on that bright lawn with our sun-lit eyes, we blithely chccaeti in unison, "Operation Pendulum!"
Ja,. It was the da)' that chan!,OCd our li\'CS, or at least ' dunge d us. 11wrc was no formal date set for Operation Pendulum. It
was kind of like, we'd do it the day I got the key thing done. The ma 1 were less than a week away, so we were sure ors Chcrian would have the papers by now. And of course, we'd need l>Ome time to figure out the amwers to those questions. So the $00ncr the better.
lk lc't'S"..t Col' Hy lle I 11>7 April II, the day of Opc.tation l'<ndulum, ada} that tan<'rl with my date.' \\ith Neha. I should havt en the: signs mom(nt Neha told me he'd sprained htr ankk "What?" Isaid 0\Cr the phone, "I am dying to meet Don't cancel tOddy. The tnajors will begin after that." "But Hari, I can't c,en walk tn \lep>. 1'1<:".1!><', c.m't it some other timd" "Can Iju>t c you for half an hour. How about I hnmt'?" I knt'w Ntha's mom would not be at home that doy. It the eleventh, the day she went to that temple by tlw track sobbed for her son. That is why Neha had agreed to the < in the first place. "I lome? Are you mad? What if soml>One sees your" "Third year is endi ng, cn you stop being so scared?" "BuL ,.. "And what if I get an A, you'll introduce me then anyway right?" "Okay, but only for half an hour. And come exactly I1.30, so I'll le3\'e the doors open." she said. "Great. I'll see you then," I said, keeping the phone dn''"' with a sigh of relief. I just had to e ber that day, or rath see her car. ''[,'Crything okay?" Ryan quizzed as I left Kumaon. "Of course. See you in two hours," I said
1\'C
"You're crazy. So. why the big urge to see me tod y?" i'\ehJ ;. id. lcadinj; me to her room. M\\tll, ou know third year is ending nmajor.and e,cr -thint:," I 5.1id,
,. 11
my
eyes ro1ing around 1he room 10 spot
key-racks. 'So?" Ncha 'aid. "So I thought meeting you would be good luck for the
exams," I said siuing do"' on the b<:d by her side. wo", h:>w rom>nticl" she said, "and Ithought my loafer "'a' pining f.)r me and dying for me alld whatever... n "Oh, I was," I said and leaned forward to hug her. It wa true. I was always pining for her. She looked beauliful. Evell
"iJh her
sort allklc, all pink and wrapped in a crepe banda:, ,
<he nunagcd to look beautiful. ''Oud1, careful," she S."lid, pushing me back on the bed, "I
know what )OU pine for." "What?" "M) hody, not me," she said, nose up in air. WhJl is tlw difference? I thought. You jmt cannot understand girls sometimes. "Tim is not true," I said, just guessing that it would be the right rcspon"'. "Come here," she calle<.l me and kissed me. "When doe" Mom get hack?" "In 1w0 h()urs. You know, Samir 13haiyya's date." "Ikno\\; t's 1hebtmh. You know Neha, I wanted to a<k you about that." "What aloout it?" "I wa' talking aboul it to Ryan..." "You talkd about Samr to R1 -an;"
"Shh, quiet, just come in quickly," Ncha said, whbpering unnecessarih: ' "No one is here," I said
J68 t'ivc:: Polnl
..No, just di5CUSsing how he well, died. You know JOgging and everything.''
HSo?,.
thf
The ID.ly <;( Hy l1le I 1&9
1 stud" or how m;my books I read. I annot get iiiiO .
tn: And
"So Ryan made a point. A good point.,. "What was that?"
''That who goes J Ofg mg on hot May morning?"

a
1 cJntiOI be to 5CC D-1d's eyes. He bJS seen thouSJndl of' /IT srudents in his life, and JI(I{)tsee why his own son cannot m:Jke it.V.fdl N('h3, he sees the swdents ubo make it, bur M doesn't see the hundreds of' chousmds who don't make it. He has not spok(n co me lor nr'O months. He docsn'c ecn ti11k to mom pi'Operlr because o{me. What an I do? Keep trying until/ die? Or 1imp/y die? If anyone finds out that I took my 01111 life, Mom would prol bnot be ,1ble to survi1oe. But I had to tell someo11C 1 And u-ho else but J'OU. I lore you NehJ. And you tell tl1em I
11'Cnt
She fell ilent, released me from her hug and sat "Neha?" I prompted. "IIan ," sh<' said and sobbed ' "Hari , r d'1dn't want to . you this, but I ha"e to. "\o\lhat?" "Wait," she said and went to open her cupboard. A m lange of domes appeared, quite unlike an a"cra!'C Kurmo guy's closet. Ncha took out a folded piece of paper. " 1.ead she said.
. 1 o ncd the page and my eyebrows jumped up in rt was srgned Samir.
jogging.
Yours in eternity.
53mir
ar Neha,
/or-e)'Oil my little sister, ilS much ils the dily f first you m . arms wbcn you were born f ll'as so prou d tl. II!)' _. Mt 1 ilnu ni/1 remain so lorer-r:r.
"What the heck b this," I said, feeling creepy. It inot every dy that you hold a suicide note in your h3nd "It's true. I should ha\'C never told you. But I'm so dose to you and you start all this investigation thing and ..." She bum into tears. "Listen, now calm down," 1 said, speaking more to myself than to her. She stopped crying after five minutes and I gave
Neha, an you keep J secret? By the time )'OU get this, '.11.:1)' not be Jir this world. Bill you must uqderstarrd dJat no m tl1c world must know of this letter. I har-e tried three times to get imo liT. and Cilch time
lli1l-c disappointed Dad. fie cannot gct or'Cr the fact that
-'.Oil annot h,mdlc phr;ics, chemistr') 'lnd machs. I can11ot '
Jl
her a glass of water.

"You want to know what happened in my ,;,r.l?" Maybe it would make her laugh. "Ryan nmk rne have vodka shots," I '>aid. Neha lifted her head up and squeaked,"That was you? Dad mentioned it. That was ,ou?" She started hiuing rne wilh a
Neh:, no
IIIJI/cr how
lr.: rd ltn... no matter I1o u- n1ar r.
pillow. She was laughing again. She looked bl.'autiful, and I
n>C' l.c-cL 1).oy l'l i'ly Lire 1 111
could haw sat :here admiring her beauty fore\-er but 1 w.l\ a misston today, to get the keys for Operation Pendulum. "Stop. that hurts," I said, mo,ing tO\\-ard her on the "Oon't come near me, you drunk loafer. You know hroodcJ for two hours that day Shwas laughing so hard, ." had to pres hr stomach with a hand.
1 wa. bloo<ly beyond happy. If I did not ha'-e that ke to ; cal, I would ha\-e 5ta)'t'd put for<."\'Cr. un 13t was quite...amazing," I said in an
und<r'Statemcnt. "Thank.. Iliked it too. I guess I am a bad girl no";" she said. "No, you are not," I said, scared she might regret thil and never do it again. "Yeah, right. Here l am, lying naked with a man who was drunk in his viva, while my Dad is less than a kilometer away in his ofllcc," she said and laughed, "It's so liberating. "Rrally?" "Yes, so liberating, yet so sad," she said. "Relax, Ncha," I said, fearing an inexplicable rou11d of tears. "Do you want to go out?" "No. Why, don't you like it here?" "I tlo. Just wanted a cigarette," Isaid. "Oh yc. Iha\'t' heard cigarc:tes arc great after sex. Please get me one too," she said. "You don't n1okd" "Idon't sleep "ith guys either. Hurry. get me a fag please." Isaw the opportunity, and jumped -at it. "Can I take your car?t' "Wh)'? You didn't get Ryan's scootl!rl" "No. he want..d it for squa\h. Can I?" "Oka,; the kc s arc on top of the fridge. De quick though," she said ashe got up and picked up my shirt. "Ht> . that's my shirt you're wearing," I pointed out. "I know. I like it, it is so loose and perfect lor a little nap," she said nd pn:tcndtcl to fall asleep. "Neha.Don't be ridiculotl', how am 1 supposed to goout?" "W,ar m top," he said lazily.
I curled up next to her and held her. She turned her

towards me, almost in reflex. 'vVc kissed, and then \\'l' again.Then she held my hand and did somcthino that she nc11r done before; she put it on her breast. "
%"; my head \\'l'nt into a tizzy.What happened to this IJJd she lost her mind? I certainly lost mine and forgot
Operation Pendulum.
My hand slid under her1: hirt arKI then dumsUy under

Bra. Ufc would be so muh better without hooks. "bsy Tiger easy," she said I liked it that she called Tiger. She sat up to remo-e her 1-.,hin. And then the rest. 1 there t < nsfhcd, trying hard not to 1<'1 mY tongue hana 0 and pant l ike a dog.
"Well Tiger, are you going to rcmoc anything or not?"

said.
"1..1...'' I said as she pulled me dolK?. Half an hour Lllcr, \\'l' lay on th< bed, spent but cotnpletd
IOOntcnt. I looked up at the old ceilingfan in 1'\eha'room around in awkw::ml circles and ldt tlizzy \\ith happiness. "Sol" Neha said. "So what," I said, rcgail1ing my quillbriw11. uSJ\ ')Oillt thin<r:
'
"'
"It'< pink, and all tight. Ayou nuts? just take one of Dad's shirts in the do-ct downstairs." "Neha, don't be silly..."
"Get lo!t ger the fags 1-Iari, you ha,oe tir<.-d me out," she said and threw a pillow at me. Thinking if Icould take l'rof Cherian's car and daughter,
aoo
17
The Longest Day of My Life II
Icould totall\' take his shin, Itook out a white shirt from his ' doset, pbin apatt from the DC' monogranuned on the slec\'e. Ipicked up the bunch of keys from the fridge. Six of them, one surdy for 01crian's otlice. "Yes!" I said to myself as I left the house. I dro"e out on the empty road, as the mid-day sun had forced most people indoors, drow to Jia Sarai and went straight to the duplicate key shop. "Which one?" the <hopkcepcr said. "All si ." I said. A< the <hopktcper can"t.-d tht> new keys, Ibought a pack of dgarcnes. This was ;impler than I thought. I lit one and drifted into thoughts of hugging Ncha again. l11is had to be the mo<t wonderful day of my life. n,c keys were ready soon. I put the new bunch in my pocket and drow back into campus through the iusri gates. Just as I turned toward fac:ulty housing, I saw a bicydc ahead of me. I am mad, I am stupid, a freaking jerk Ithought as Ihonktd - and turning around to look at me was Owrian.
Ht:R ARE TIMES IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU ARE so SCARED e so beyond . scared you , you scream, and there arc u mcs )OU ar . c._._ Imean you kind of get fo silized Ill an tcebox and JUSt >< ze e ff n '"e ever aga When Chcrian got o . IS nC\er come back to m m. th r his car Iwent mto > bicycle and walked toward me, or ra e
deep freeze.
1 He came and stood next to me. I should have probab y got
'nch out, but Iwas crap sea red to mO\'C an I 1 heard my heart, . "Th. car " he satd which was louder than Cherian'swords. IS IS my n control this, I said . True, I thought, ten out of ten. 1 "
to m...,.Jf and tried to breathe. "Yes, sir, I said. r ?" he "Who are you? And what are you doing Ill my car a ked next.
"It'< pink, and all tight. Ayou nuts? just take one of Dad's shirts in the do-ct downstairs." "Neha, don't be silly..."
"Get lo!t ger the fags 1-Iari, you ha,oe tir<.-d me out," she said and threw a pillow at me. Thinking if Icould take l'rof Cherian's car and daughter,
aoo
17
The Longest Day of My Life II
Icould totall\' take his shin, Itook out a white shirt from his ' doset, pbin apatt from the DC' monogranuned on the slec\'e. Ipicked up the bunch of keys from the fridge. Six of them, one surdy for 01crian's otlice. "Yes!" I said to myself as I left the house. I dro"e out on the empty road, as the mid-day sun had forced most people indoors, drow to Jia Sarai and went straight to the duplicate key shop. "Which one?" the <hopkcepcr said. "All si ." I said. A< the <hopktcper can"t.-d tht> new keys, Ibought a pack of dgarcnes. This was ;impler than I thought. I lit one and drifted into thoughts of hugging Ncha again. l11is had to be the mo<t wonderful day of my life. n,c keys were ready soon. I put the new bunch in my pocket and drow back into campus through the iusri gates. Just as I turned toward fac:ulty housing, I saw a bicydc ahead of me. I am mad, I am stupid, a freaking jerk Ithought as Ihonktd - and turning around to look at me was Owrian.
Ht:R ARE TIMES IN YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU ARE so SCARED e so beyond . scared you , you scream, and there arc u mcs )OU ar . c._._ Imean you kind of get fo silized Ill an tcebox and JUSt >< ze e ff n '"e ever aga When Chcrian got o . IS nC\er come back to m m. th r his car Iwent mto > bicycle and walked toward me, or ra e
deep freeze.
1 He came and stood next to me. I should have probab y got
'nch out, but Iwas crap sea red to mO\'C an I 1 heard my heart, . "Th. car " he satd which was louder than Cherian'swords. IS IS my n control this, I said . True, I thought, ten out of ten. 1 "
to m...,.Jf and tried to breathe. "Yes, sir, I said. r ?" he "Who are you? And what are you doing Ill my car a ked next.
n.e ll Dey ('( My l.llc ll 17S
"Sir, just drhing ba::k ...sir," I said, probabiy IO<Jking a stupid as I sounded. Cherian park d his bicyde on the side of the road and abandoning my role as a wax model, I got out of the car. Oh, where were the dinosaurs whc:n you needed them ? " he you drhing to my homd" Chcrian said, opening the front door. Yes, he was gomg to dri"e no\\: Could I home?
"\Cs, sir."
'
Ch. Had he fallen J'or itI I guessed h" Silence from enan. d started driving it olowly.' for he sta rted the car an h 1.. had 'Wh did you offer t at. about ywante'd to I Ip, " I shru." "ed modestly hke I go .,a "Just le ,couting for good deeds all day. '" 't hal'e classes to att nd. "And you don d I . sdf "Gives the car "Silly girl," Cherian spoke alou to urn 'bo this." . 1 ha,c to talk to her a ut ; if Neha to any stranger. ' stupd Id . d m) mind '[ new thouoht ta crosse 1 kept Sl ent ; a " . cd right now was a d The last thmg I want d would be rcss the door. If only I
"A free period, sir."
Suddenly his mighty brow furrowed. "Iftnow you. You are a student, right? What is your name?" "Hari, Sir," Isaid, glad he had asked the only thing Iwas ure about. "You are the one who was playing tricks in my 1iva?" l nodded, guilty as charged. "Get in," Cherian said. I quietly opened the otl1er front door and sat next to him. He started the car "Who ga>-e you the keys?" I jumped at the last word. My hand caressed my trouser pocket from the outside. Yes, the set of duplicate keys was still tl1ere. I had to think of something now.Any reason why I could be driving his car apart from buying post<oitus cigarenes for his dauglller. "Neha, sir," I said after a deliberate pause. "You know Neha?" the professor's eyebrows shot up. "Sir, I met her on the road. The car had a flat tire." "So?" Cherian said.
e h ed nl h r m her when s c open surprise ug ro be' I spoke to Chcrian. Or if o y could get ten seconds ore s tc
1 could disappear.
. Cherian parked the car at his house.
k r go now?.. 'd 'rl should at least . tr, can than you. "No come in. 11us srup &' h se " ' 'd C\'Cr let boys likc you <:omc ncar mv au . Not th at I ood h' "Right, sir." I totally undcrst 1111. d the door Cherian pressed the doorbell. Neha opene "S'
wearing just a bed sheet. r th "Dad " Neha said, " Then she saw her ,a er. ' Have you. . . h bed sheet to cover the blinking her eyes and adjusung he l f kick compared to maximum Surely, this was one e o a cigarettes. .-'' "Don't wort) I got ' .. r <poke "Your eys rna am, qu -...y.. back 'ompleteI)' ,n x ed and brought your car .. . . the puncture c k "Huh?" she looked at me. ou
"Sir, I was passing by and offered to push the car to the mechanic. She had to go back and I offered to bring the car home."
f mind? Why aren t ) "Neha, arc you out o your I fhis voice only dressed?" Cherian said, controlling the ''0 ume 0
because I was there.
"T know Sir."

Neha blinked again before disappearing into her bedroom, presumably to change. "This daughter of mine is mad. Sit down," Cherian said. "Sir, we pushed the car for twenty minutes. She must be tired," I said. V.'ell, sex wa.s like pushing a car sometimes, only a lot more pleasant. Ncha came back wearing a very daddy's-good-girl salwarkameez-;nd holding a tray with two glasses of water. As Cherian drank his glass, I repeated, "I was just telling your dad how your car got a flat tire and I helped you take It to the mechanic and then brought it back. I met Sir on tht> way here you sec." "Oh?" Neha said, striving for an Intelligent facial expression. "How can you dump the car on a stranger?" Cherian asked her. "Sorry Dad," Neha said and collapsed on the sofa. "Sir, can I g:> now?" I said, Cherian gave half a nod and I was out of the house. I walked as fast as I co'uld without rllnning. "Hari," Cherian shouted when I was at the gate. I froze and turned. "Yes, sir." "You are not that smart, you know," he said. Pd always known ofCherian's disdain for students with low grades. I didn't know he'd be so direct about it. "Sir, I know sir. I will study harder." "That is not what I meant." "Sir?" "I was a student once too you know. And the bet one, a straight I 0 all four years." '1\nd if you think you can mess with my daughter and get away wid1 it, you are wrong. " 1 stood silent. ''You drink in my viva, and now I find you fooling with my daughter, in my car and wearing my shirt." Cheriaosa_id an tugged at my collar. "You watch it llari. you watch ot. rhos os liT, not some bloody regional colle&-. First the vi"a, and then nw daughter. My daughter!"
; "Sir, it is not what you thonk" '

"Don't tell me what to think I knew my daughter was distracted these days. God, and because of scum like you!You stay away r rom my home and m}' daughter Just away, o understand?" "Yes, Sir," I said, wishing Chcrian would let go of my collar. I was begino ing to go limp I mean being caught hy hom _on top oflosing my virginity was hardly condu<.l\'t' to strengthcnong
b "Good. I don't want people talking, so I won't ring up again. Bt you stay away from her and focus on youcourses. For, Hari, one slip in the insli and I will ruin you. I btoody ruin you," Cherian said, his face an unpleasant red. "Sir, I will stay away. Just let me go," I pleaded. He released my collar, his fingers sti!l trembling. I ran out of his gate and toward Kumaon. It was the fastest jog of life. r-.de. I don't I stopped only once, w.1.en 1passed Chenan's bi-1 n know what struck me. I turned to make sure no one ""'s around, and then released the air from both the tires. Damn, that monster deserved some revenge. And that just might make the ba>tard belie\'! there are Oat tires in this world.
'' II
'No way man," I 'aid, panung s I readwd Ryanroom.
Qh come on llari. You had a fell' hitchctn1lay, but >toll

111Jnlj,,'Cd
''No w.w what? IJid you get the k,,t" R1-an s.1id.
I tri tl to catth m 1 hr ath
u\VhJt happ:nctl?" Alok asktd aslw tarne to Rpn's room. "Hdl. Ildl happt ned."I regained my puis<' and doted the whole Mon.
Hoc. Let Clwrian think what he want>" "\\bnr "hat he will tlo to Neha," 1 said "You can't do anything about that, c:n you ( i\nd not today at l<ast. Let's get the major papc.r and then worrv about other stuff" ''You should talk to Neha after a few days onl) Don't"',. r). Chcrian will try and bury it. He wouldn't want the world to
Ryan started laughing. [l'en though he is hold and e1erythng, that is not what I expe<.'ted from him. Cherian was there, holding my l>laody collar and thrcatl'ning to ruin mc. uFuck R\'an, tim is not funn\'," Isaid. "Oh really,'' he !..'lid, laughing C\'cn hard,r, "then what is it? Cherian's shirt, Ncha in a bedsheet. lhe prof mu 't hal'c gone psycho," ! van paUSl-d to laugh some more. "I wish I \lOIS there." "Shut up. 11tis is added tension man," Alok said. "What tension? You got the keys right?" Ryan said. 1 nodded as I took out the bunch. "So we're still doing this/" I lklid.
koo11: And he doesn't look like the dad who can talk to 1m daughter about this sort of stuff,Alok said and put his arm
on my shoulder. "INc re friends man. just ruwe to wait for the CI'Cning1101\ Remember co-operate to doiTUnate," Ryan said and hi-lhcd both of us. 1\vo hourlater, at exactly the p.m. Alok got a call from home. We were sitting in Ryan's room and pla}ing card . \Jok! Urgent phone call!" the gucrd below houted at the top of his ,oice. Alok threw back his set of three car9s. "\.\'hat is it?" Isaid.
"Why not? How does Chcrian know about this?" Ryan said and dangled the keys in front of him like a tempting bunch of npc grapes. "Idon't kno1v. I'm scared Ryan. I really am." "Just relax dude. You are in shock, sex and horror on the same day," R>n said, laughing again.
"Hari is right Pendulum." We should rc-e,a l uate Operatio n
"I don't kno"' .Maybe my sister's engagement date got

llxcd," he yelled as he ran down the stairs. "Let's go down. If that is true, II'C can get Fatso to treat us," Ryan said as we followed Alok down to the booth "Yes Mom, yes, I am fine. What happened, you don't sound
so good," Alok said.
"Nomc!IS('," Ryan said and became S<'rious again,
"if at aU,
it makes the case stronger. Hari's only hope is if he cracks the majors. He -an then still make Chcrian feel that he is not such a loser alter all." "ll1anks Ryan," I said.
Ryan and I looked at ea<:h other nd shrugged 01.r shoulder . "Really? What? Imean how could they?" Alok said as hi Own raa: dropped. Ryan and I backed away from the booth. No treat this time.
180 Five Polnl&-.ncooe
"What happened to Dad? Mom, speak louder thh li not de01r. What happened? Not eating anything? For long?" Alok said as the line got disconr.cctcd. The pholl<.' gone dead. lie sat down on the floor of the telephone booth.
"R_y.ul." Alok o..1id, "I am rt' lly not nnnlortable right now. " whJt?" R !>aiel. \on . "Iam <>> llinu ntrvous about rhi'on r.liiOIL Hrsr Hari ru"' 0 0 , .
"\h<Jlll
n,c
wooden box shook with the wigh t . "Can you beli -vc t his?" "What? The phone has been giving trovble all week," said.
onto Cntrion. Tlwn Oidi's propo,al Oop' And Dad might jmt 1311 ick gain i f lw doesn't t'.1l proptrly. I 111 an, we don't hav( to do th1 s, do we?" "Ilev waitminute no11; Ryan 'aid a\ he stood up, "what
"ll1e boy's side cancclk'<l the proFosal," Alok sa 1d "Why?" Isaid.

"They wanted a ponion of the do"TY right no"' lo in th( boy. Mom said she will apply for a Joan but it will
has your 'ister's proposal got t<> do 11i1h th"? And your clad 11ill lx fine." Alok remained silent "ith an uncominced c>:pr<.'S>ior. Ryan look at me and then back to Alok a couple of time'
a few months. Meanwhile, they &Ct another deal and it i

over. Bloody idiots," Alok said. "lhat sounds sick. Why would yot. want to marry ister off to such a family anyway?" I aid.
"Idon't know. All boys-side familicsue the same. And i' upset and has not eaten an)1hing sino: Idon't know" Th<'n is mayhem at home, and the bloody phone dead. "It is probably good tht> phone is dead. What could ha1-c done? Getup nnw, IN'< go up and talk," Ry"n s>id, ei, inl! Alok a h,1nd.
IIpaced arcund the room and 'tartcd speaking again, "But tell me, i s this the time to discus .111 this? I thought we h.1tl made tlw dt'Cision Look, we twn lt.!1c thken." ' He jingled the bunch in his hand "But R an, we don't need the ri>k now," Alok said. "Ther( " no risk. Just four hovr. anti \\'C will hantlw
p.1per. End of story" "lllri, what Jo you think?" Alok ;aid. "Wait a minute," Ryan said , his l'(lit louder. "Arc you goi n to make him take sides ag< in? Hari, tl(l<'this Fatso want to do what he did after the first scm?" " lax Rran,'' IQid, interruptmg my rt-playing of the fa,l moment, \\ith 1'\eha, "wh are you ,houting?" "Then tell Fatso to make up his m111d.' Ryan said and sat down. llc lit up a dg.wette and lOOk a hurried paii. "Of course I don't ll'ilnl to >plit, 'l.lys," Alok said. ''Or dos he want to sty her<' and o11alc us do the work! So he can get the p.:tper fo;. fred" R)m ,,;d
w.. went
upstairs and stay -d <:Jiet for a wllile. Ryan broke the silence.
(in; Uy 1
"Si). o clock," be said like a don to fellow-gangsters, ..,,,.,p hovrs more. We leave Kumaon at ten for the operation " I nodded my head, barely listening to him.I was wonde:rllll what Ncha was doing right now.
"Sl'C,
UIAI is what lw think,, He doesn't trut me,"
said . "Relax guys, I id, "I think all of us are getting tense V.\. ha1-c four hours until the i11>ti g ts empty. We haw the \\\,! want the paper. I f 11 do it, "'" do it together, right?" 1: "Right!" Ryan said. \Ve looked at Alok. "Right" Alol.. S3id in a mlumOlll'tenth that of Ryal. "And we ha1c thought through the risks right?" I looking at Ryan "Of c.:oursc," lw responded. "'Ilttn let us j u.t go for it. And Alok, your didi will anod1er match. If not now, maybe when you get a job and pay for the wedding. What is th< big hurry? Right?" I looking at Alok. "Right," Alok said, his ,oice loOU!lding more confident rdaxcd. "Friends?" I said, looking at both of them. "Of toursc," Ry.1n and Alok said in unison. "I'm in," said. "Good. Let's stay quiet for the next few hours," wanting to dream about Neha. \\k kept quiet for the ne>.'t three hours.Alok said <t>rnrhin : bout hcing worried about his dad. But we told him to as his mom had handled sud1situationbefore. We did not down to the mess to eat dit\ner.Somehow,11-c felt the cr<"Yd in the mess would read our .minds. "Ten o' dock," Ryan said ami "-c Jumped up as the truck the hour.
18
The Longest Day of My Life III
\\'A \'TED TO I (A\'E NO TRAIL Of OUR PRESF'\CE FOR
thtlrst time in years, we Willku to the insti instead of u'i"g

1\van's scooter. We walked quetly past the hostels, 11ith book in ha nd aIf going to the library for some midnight reading. "So why did your parents start looking for your sister o eJrly, how old ihe'" I whispel'('d, nervous as hell "jList twenty-thrce. I think they shoulu look for a bov only llhrn I surt working. It would be much easier for me 'to gc:t a loan," Alok said. l ogrced.
"lfl ge t a joh that i,. Not much out there for a miserable
fht poiNer," he said. ''W , maybe this A will lift ,ou U? a bit." I !laid. eU
"Sl'C,
UIAI is what lw think,, He doesn't trut me,"
said . "Relax guys, I id, "I think all of us are getting tense V.\. ha1-c four hours until the i11>ti g ts empty. We haw the \\\,! want the paper. I f 11 do it, "'" do it together, right?" 1: "Right!" Ryan said. \Ve looked at Alok. "Right" Alol.. S3id in a mlumOlll'tenth that of Ryal. "And we ha1c thought through the risks right?" I looking at Ryan "Of c.:oursc," lw responded. "'Ilttn let us j u.t go for it. And Alok, your didi will anod1er match. If not now, maybe when you get a job and pay for the wedding. What is th< big hurry? Right?" I looking at Alok. "Right," Alok said, his ,oice loOU!lding more confident rdaxcd. "Friends?" I said, looking at both of them. "Of toursc," Ry.1n and Alok said in unison. "I'm in," said. "Good. Let's stay quiet for the next few hours," wanting to dream about Neha. \\k kept quiet for the ne>.'t three hours.Alok said <t>rnrhin : bout hcing worried about his dad. But we told him to as his mom had handled sud1situationbefore. We did not down to the mess to eat dit\ner.Somehow,11-c felt the cr<"Yd in the mess would read our .minds. "Ten o' dock," Ryan said ami "-c Jumped up as the truck the hour.
18
The Longest Day of My Life III
\\'A \'TED TO I (A\'E NO TRAIL Of OUR PRESF'\CE FOR
thtlrst time in years, we Willku to the insti instead of u'i"g

1\van's scooter. We walked quetly past the hostels, 11ith book in ha nd aIf going to the library for some midnight reading. "So why did your parents start looking for your sister o eJrly, how old ihe'" I whispel'('d, nervous as hell "jList twenty-thrce. I think they shoulu look for a bov only llhrn I surt working. It would be much easier for me 'to gc:t a loan," Alok said. l ogrced.
"lfl ge t a joh that i,. Not much out there for a miserable
fht poiNer," he said. ''W , maybe this A will lift ,ou U? a bit." I !laid. eU
'1b<- k"\,.,_...<1 I"Y d Hv Lif. Ill t 85
1 84 l'ill<" 1'\'"'lcSoclle.e
"Shh," Ryan said awe reached the insti building. We we o: being owcautious, awe sc.:anncd c1-ery corner fo1 insti security guards. fhc) ne1w hung around the lobby at thi' time, dnd we'd sneaked up the stairs dozens of times for
"I low dsc will we search, f-atso? Ju't relax, no one Cln "''' U> Iah your tune and search. And I want to search lor ..omething els'' too.''
"\Vhat?"
our rodka scssiom. But we )till split up and looked around all
sid<!s of the building - there wa; no one. Cl1erian's office was on the sixth tloor.There was minimal lighting on th<' suirs, <md m counted aloud as we finished each Oight of stairs. "...and si>..That is it guys.We get out, and Cherian's ofliice is se1enth door on the right,'' Ryan aid. We stepped on lo the sixth Ooor.There was only qnc bulb lighting the cnt ire corndor. "DC Ch"rian, I lead of the Department. Illoody pig," said as he read the nameplate outside Cherian's office crouched behind me as Ryan cxammed the lock. ''Keys," Ryan extended his left hand. I took out my bunch ofk op and they jingled as if on SteJceo,! "Keep it quiet," Alok said. "Stop being so scared, fatso. No one knows "-e're l-Ie was freaking me out. "Ryan, find the right key man," I "I'm trying.l11erc arc like a millio'l of them in this bUJlcb. W.1it this one, no this one, no d1is... ah I think this is it. "h is?" Alok looked da7.Cd. Ryan opened
"My lube project proposal. Chcrian bloody stuck it in his office a11d it got Mwhere. l'rof\c('ra told me there i, a oopl' hcrt.> somewher" 11ith his comments." "What ver Ryan. Can ll't' searLh for the paper fl,sti" "Wh re do 1\C start?" Alok ;.aid as he scanned the pib of paper kept on Cheian's shelv.es. This could take all night. "Look for brown bags with a red wax tal. They alw y open the seal at the time of the papers," Ryan sad We divided tlw shekcs to save time, and started a quirk scan. I ran through journalo, adminbtrativc documents, com'"'-' outlines and timetables. Nothing ror twent) minutes. "Anythi. g?" I asked. Ryan and Alok shook their heads. Ten minutes later, Ryan stepped back ami sat on Cherian's chair. "What?" I said. "Ihai'C checked my shelves.There is nothing in mine. Got my lube project though. lie just says 'no commercial viabilit} Or academic value'. What a prick." "Well, I can't lind anything either. Do rou want to help>" I >< id.
"Red seal and brown bag. Inclem Majors- Confidential. h this what you arlooking ror gentlemen?" Alok said and \\'a\ed tc hag in front or us.
the holt in one stroke, kicking the
door
lltcre it w s. the lair or the head of the department of liT Mechanical [ngincerlllg was ours. Ryan searched the wall nicked the light open. "\ lat arc you doing?" Alok asked.
V.jumped up. "Fat o. this is 11 man!" Ryan said.
I&> five I\.'fnl &:>tbc..'IIC

111c l.t."' "l l)uy of My l.tf.; Ill !87
"Yl's.'' I said as we hi-ll,cd each oth<'r. "I cannot bclil'\'e it," Alok ..ml "That is because you don't tru\1 me. Though we sti ll have stull to do. So, w it whill.' I deal '"th thiseal," Ryan said as he <-mpticd his pockets./\ blade, candle, lighter and some wa)( to r(-seal the hag.
it's the pafXr. Let rne Sl>e it." Isaid "No 1 know you guys. You'll just stan discussing it right ," 1 am keeping this with me until we wrap up and get out 110
of here." Ryan said.
"\\o"
"Mtm, you come prepared," Alok sa id, not able to re.\ist a smile of relic[
"\Veil, what do you expect? Gi,e me a few minutes now." Ryan hdd the blade between his thumb and the forefinger and got to work.He slowly sliced the seal open a.neatly as pos>ihle. "Where did you learn all this?" I W<lS impressed. "I am training to be an engineer. This is not that hard to figure out. Now keep quiet," Ryan .said.
"How long?" Alok said as sat down on the chair opposite to Cherian's. "Ten minutes. Quiet now else I 'll rip off some
"\Vh3t else needs to be done," Alok said. "I ha,e to put a fresh seal. Why do you think I brought the cancllc?" Ryan said ''Alwwa)' I think he'll take another million hours to finish," ' 1\lok said. Hurr)' up, Ryan,n I said.
"Shut up," he said as he hcatld a fresh blob of on the candle. He looked like a craftsman intently at work. "He)' Hari, Cherian's office has a phone," Alok said. "Yes, it's right there," Isaid, pointing to the bookshck-es where the instrument was kept. "Maybe I can just make a quick call from here," Alok said. "Really? Don't you want to wait and call from out ide?" "It'll get really late. Besides, l just need to check how Dad " What else do we ha\'c to do now?" "01:.-ly.'' l ;hruggecl. Alok stood up and went near the phone. "I think you have to dial nine to get an outside line," I said. "Now what the heck are you guys doing? Can't you just ,;,still,"! van scolded as he spoon<'d molten wax from the fre!lh -.cal. ")U>t calling home for a minute. It is too much to wait for l'ou to llntsh,'' Alok said. "Cm't you II from outside," Ryan said, "or you are too
"'lL'
of the paper," Ryan said.1ivo minutes passed. I looked at Alok, who sat with his hands in his face. I could tell he was thinking about home a&oain.
"I hope Dad feels better soon. He can really fall sick if he
doesn't eat properly. Iwish I could do something." Ch-en Alok's family's love for food, I was pretty sure either of them would fall sick if depri\'cd of it. "Don't worry, it is nobody's fault. The guy's side seems too greedy if you ask me," I consoled "They are all the same. I just \\";Jot to check on Dad. If only the bloody phone in ICumaon \1'3.\ working." Alok said. "\cs!" Ryan .said as he opened the seal with minimal damage. There were a hundred crisp sheetS inside. The fresh copies of the major paper!
chea p to spend
buck."
"I jw.t tX:L-d minuu. You just pay auemion to the aJ1\Ioh. -;aid as he dialled the nwnber. ' 1 k gOlthmugh rcny soon, and it was clear that his mother 1 ':'" lwtn waiting for 1\lok tO :all bock. Alok hardly spoke, as Ju, lll()thcr '-ented about her miserable life and the hapleslate Ill hi didi. Rpn rontinucd dabbing some fresh wax on the umlcrsi<le of the old seal. I lriL-d to pass time fhpping through Ryan's luh<' propos l. This is when the wir.:s got ahead of us. I did not know this then, but this is how the insti phone
ouard was jOined by another " noor. ;;_,ih
gwrd ahe walked up to the
Unfortunately, lit...--e I said, we did not kno" all tiHs then. "There are some commcms given on some of the pages though," I said. "i\11 crap. Cherian just didn't want to give this project a ;hot. I ha"e demonstrated results of efildency improvements. How rould he close this because of na viability? 'lbat bastard, ouch!" A drop of wax fell on his fingers. "Don't worry. You concentrate on the seaL And h'Urry up. Alok," IS< id. The two guards came and stood outside our door. They must ha\'C been standing there for two minutes before the) opened the door. A lit candle, melted wax, someone on the prof 's chair, a few strewn papers. The guards did not need to
mr
').''''m ': orks. Each prof has a phon'' in the room that is p.lrt ol the IIr network.One uses it mainly to dial internal campus numbers. To dial outside' the network ronnects to a ft'W l'Xternal lines. When nine is pressed, the internal phone I!'CJtWst an cxt,ma l line, anti the campu1 tclccom exchange ""tchcs th<' linc,. A control switchboard in the telccom cx,hange does thi automaticall:Thswitchboard lights up a 'mall red bulb for every engaged line b-cry time one requests an c:<tcrnallinc, the light rurns green 11lis rontrol room i; in tht institute secul'ity ofllcc on the ground noor of the insti huiltling. Oe night operator and a gum.l sit there al night, mo,tly gos png and snoozing through their shift. So, a little red hulh lit up on on<' of the sixth noor phones, and then t at red hultu.rned green. What was Prof Cherian doing in '"' room th1s ume of the night? the! guard wondered. The oper ltlr had the option to listen in lO the conversation if he \\'Jilted, and he did.This wasn't Prof Chcrian. It was a mother rc(iting the sad talc of her daughter to someone called Alok. l'hl' -urity guard opened his walkie talkie, and requested patmlhng guardto d1cck on Cheria n\ room. The patrolling
be too educated to figure it out.

Alok dropped the phone from his hand as he froze. His poor mother must ha'oe felt the phone gp do:ad again. Acrually, we all went dead. I frote in my chair too, and I don't know how, but Ryan figured out what to say first. "Oh, guard S< hib. Hello, come in let me explain," he said, trying to be as calm as possible. "Who are you?" Guard sahib," Ryan said as he stood up, almost ready to dash out if needed. Alok and I came up behind him as well, waiting for any udden instructions. "Don't come near us," the guard said, "we arc calling the prof now." "Oh no guard sahib, li>tcn tO us," Ryan S< id 3\ he went near the door. It was dear w<' had m make a clh """
The guard picked up our intell!IOO\ or something, maybe he was just scared and stupid I le hacked olf. and u' inside the ollie<.'. We heard him boll the door and tell fellow guard to call the: prof and the chid's<curity officer. tried calling the guard again, hut it wa, to no 3,-aif. There were, three of us lod-.d in C'herian'> office on the sixth at midnight. VIle didn't say a word, we just loohd at each other's We could do nothing but wait anti ll'ait and wait. The day of my life wouldn't get o,er...
19
The Lon8esl Day of My Life IV
Kl!'\D OF WENT INSIDE MYSFI F IN THAT 'SHOR'I SI'AK OF
time before Chcrian's olllce door opened again anti scaled our f3te. just sat quietly and ignored wh.t Ryan and Alol: s.>id, that is if they did say anything. Future =ncerupted in my mind. By tomorrow morning, all profs, all students at Kumaon and other hostels woultl know about us. Caught stealing the major paper from J>rof Chcrian's office. no less! Pcobablv the insti director would also come on this special ocrastn . Chcrian would go:ot us all shot if he could, but either way he would
definitely not go easy on us. What did they call it? Di ciplinary Committc or Dis,u, for deciding the fate of th>lll<leutwho hr<>ke <lisciplinc. Suddenly, my fil'e-point GPi\ cemed
'"ondcrful to me. If only 1 could pass out of thi' piJ <' with
The guard picked up our intell!IOO\ or something, maybe he was just scared and stupid I le hacked olf. and u' inside the ollie<.'. We heard him boll the door and tell fellow guard to call the: prof and the chid's<curity officer. tried calling the guard again, hut it wa, to no 3,-aif. There were, three of us lod-.d in C'herian'> office on the sixth at midnight. VIle didn't say a word, we just loohd at each other's We could do nothing but wait anti ll'ait and wait. The day of my life wouldn't get o,er...
19
The Lon8esl Day of My Life IV
Kl!'\D OF WENT INSIDE MYSFI F IN THAT 'SHOR'I SI'AK OF
time before Chcrian's olllce door opened again anti scaled our f3te. just sat quietly and ignored wh.t Ryan and Alol: s.>id, that is if they did say anything. Future =ncerupted in my mind. By tomorrow morning, all profs, all students at Kumaon and other hostels woultl know about us. Caught stealing the major paper from J>rof Chcrian's office. no less! Pcobablv the insti director would also come on this special ocrastn . Chcrian would go:ot us all shot if he could, but either way he would
definitely not go easy on us. What did they call it? Di ciplinary Committc or Dis,u, for deciding the fate of th>lll<leutwho hr<>ke <lisciplinc. Suddenly, my fil'e-point GPi\ cemed
'"ondcrful to me. If only 1 could pass out of thi' piJ <' with
Th l.ccl);)y d My Lilc IV e
1c n
" -impk jub Jnd th;, coukl II I (il'.'\ JllU I>JS>inuout a .>C mtr. llut \"ell kt'l"J>mo " W35 not gomo I be .., oli,n 1{ 11 ,. =d!.d'S.h ''d <> ClS)' now Will I I . OUt< lit' jll<l (/. h '"n'to du.t'Shorld JUSt .Jdmit t.'l't!'rttl . . "!' I.:UIIt' . J l.lllllt'ju<t n.,ind " . . ""!J :md.J p.r>fn, J It'll JIIJIIUit.'S md A}. tim oilI Could I mr ,. . . .<top ok /rom 1 . I r<'-m-e tht> one lli<W 'lllptd questions eluted I : hed. I lOok J dee b I a lOUt like r. bbits i P reat 1; we just h 1 1. n1onwnt>. a< to. 1\'C through
"hl' he had seen a million times; the candk, the <cal anti the
""jor papers. Mavbe Prof V<"cr.l was ju't ghing us a chan<w
d.,,.
, r\>31i1 a good lk 10 get out of this. .'-' We <lid nothing. hoping sileno- would "'':lporate u>. "Cheating, ir,stealing tn.1jor paper. My boys caught them," the security chief said, protd as if they had broken a CIA 1mg "You were stealing the papt"r from my office? How did yot
get in?" Chcriall Mkccl me directly. "You know him?" one of the profs asked Chcrian. "Not really. I ha"e just seen him in daS'1 a \'ery pooa stUdent. lie was c\'Cil drunk in my viva, you know Dean Shastri. Yes, that is the unlv time Iremember him from, Hari Kumal, '
Can't it?''
' up. The the two tctuirv d tedn people swarrncd in. I rec:'OJ!'III ., guar s 3" the chief unifmm,, 'J h e oth . sccunt y offictr bl er guy wath then1 was h <'X1111angc operator 1 knew s. t . e .te tnc:e he wo I w,c moron;. with d U . b rc an msu u JO s were the h f i\ncl thf.'n it "- eroes o the . "' a coup 1 of e f Enginccrin" dcparm , E pro s rorn the M< chUI " lent. ,-en Prof Veera c our c. there was tl was there. . . le mall whose ofllcc we h d n1DOn occupacd -Chcrian. He sto.od tlerc sh k d a " 11 his ollke was broke . oc e , wonderi g . n t lltO so dcalll)' It h ol II r, most of the . . was t e \Vho's m m t1ear pajamas l'co I l o11 if they arc disturbed . h . . P c get more 111 t ear paJamas . l 1 guat-d told e'-eryone to com . . . w an c -e on us as if we'd t . c ansade the room, r, to ntake d 1 "Y. )" Cl u as 1 a<>:> an ou. uman said 1 00 king srr.ught at me.,- . 1 H >en "ondcrino: his d augh ter. the mo d e .must <> m tlw 1.'\'Cninn. J'cl be . d . rnmg an has "' passe tf someone sere"-cd all 0\"Cr my 111 on<.' day: "What arc you doing here?" Prof Vee . awarc of what "-e had been up to.The guard ha d staald, ..,.e 1 ra o d rvoi
wa OJ)(.'tWd Jnd around '
usonlt."t.-'>nt's C.'Oine'"
R\':'111 s'a'td and we stood
I0 9UC'-' Chcaian did not want to mention our mornin!!. trnt - '
to the rest of the profs. "And the others? What are your names?" the Dean 'aiel "Aiok Gupta,sir.Kumaon hostel, Mecha.niol rnginecring," Alok said. "Ryan Ob roi, same," Ryan said. "And you think you are too smart?" the Dean sald. "No sir.That is why we wanted the paper, sir," Ryan said. Slap!ThDean sbpped Ryan right across the face. I don't blame him, Ryan could haYC chosen a better time to make a
wiSKTack.
Slap!SlapI Before 1 reali2ed what was happening, the OeJn
deposited a slap on Alok and me awell. God, I tell you, it was humiliati."lg. Profs, security guards and Cherian all staring at us while our faces turned re<l on the left. But we kept quiet. l secretly hoped they would all >l p us and get it out of their >)'Stem. Heck, they could trah us
The \...
o.y of HJ
Uk IV 19")
senseless as long as that w.ts the only punishment. Plca;,e do a Di,;co and screw with our <-atl'er You arc criminals. You r<'alize? You-criminals police,Cherian said, hts whole being trembling, as if he tht one being slapped around He wa< walking to the phone when Prof \ttr-a "Ch.-ri<tn 3ir, une minute: betorc you call the pol ice sir, become a big deal " ''It is a big deal," Cherian scrNm<'d ot.t loud.Just Oteri.m, I thought. I know h<' wanted to. especially me. "Dean Shastri, you explatn to him Police "ill mean case will hit the papers. I mean, do you reJI) want liT n ne'\\'s for all the \\Tong reasons," Prof Vcea reasotted "llmmm," Dean Shastri <.aid, rubbing his hands. ".Sir, \\C hav Meduni<m\ in the jn,ti to <kal "ith right? 1l1e police \\ill not arri\e without reporters," 'lid. '\i. ra might be right I don't want the liT name in beauof thc<e miscreant'." E"rn in this >ttuation, I fdt tht: word 'mncreant' was cut<' and funn)'. I almost smik...J. "Sir, I don't want to spoil thl liT name either. But I these boys to suffer.Who do they think they are?" Cheria.n as h, stopped cuddltn :: the phone. "I agree, this i< quite outrageous. \\e cannot de<ide fate 'O easily. V.c ha,e a medlJnhm. not thatwe us<n Take :hem to DiS\.."0. It was time for us to sht"er .,1\e heard th< L t "ord.. \Lwbe
" but he stood silent Only Alok did I " ntto sa, . '' " . I his usual manner, he began to <T) . thtn n " he sa1d '"'""' " . Vve HC so sorry. slf ... "'iir, please s.r. - -' . ndard of these stud nts d.scu"5ion. Bloou) st3 ., ""O more ' Disco - tomorrow 1 . We'll talk in an urgent 1 l i t.J Jo c,-erv ,-ear <kdared the Dean. . ll.,..nce In entran -.: """"" but can ttst mte ..,bl "Dean Str, you . " ri , chief said. He pro\ y 'or integn" 'l the secu t ) h '"to test,. ., t ha . ht . . 1 credit for his achiC\oernent t mg . got ess board the d th K maon hostcI nou ce A crowd gathered aroun e. u f apethe si?.e of a bank ng. On a srrall pe<:e 0 P ' h to surt 1 next rnorru ong short notice was enoug ,heque, th e con\'ersations.
. be a Di.sciplin f) that there ,.,11 This is to morro . JOOO pm toniaht in the s:.JrtJD" at ., . The Committee r- r.-nce ., ftoOm J1t'Cb3nical meetmg . Dep.irtment .......m'-' . Engmeenn.,. -' .., he courst." 0 ( action !Dr r rM meerinu , (0 ueacie t f(um.u (Kwn:Jon), A)Ok Jgt'ndplimr) bte-chcs bJ 4;t(Kumaon) on April 1/. Guptil (Kumaon) and Rpm Obero
r
shamed to come to the notice . 'bl C\en The three of us were too a -' quckl) as possl e, board \cut through the crowu as .c. n1. h rd some questions. mou6.. we ea .. ki i too many classes "What hapf>Cned?;ad Anurag, s PP ng or what!" be mething else." Must so ottr ,;!cnn: \US not so golden after all Do someth tng oh
clc\'(r
"Th;. Joesn't lead to a D,sco. '
The l.o())y .., My Uf
1\ 197
"I think thi is big. rhey arc holding the Disco on on<' Jnothcr Kumaonltc s.1id ")1:, at night too omcthing to do woth the Mchani !engineering department." \Ve let the smart inmates of i<umaon flgurc out what going on. \ simply looked down and htaded out of Courtesy Ncha, I knew a few places where no one would us. The ice-cream parlour seemed perfect. Alok reached lor the counter and came back with three strawberry ''l n. you got ca.l l I Jon't hJve any," Alok said, us our treats. "F tso, you can't resist food even at this time," I "It is icc-cream man. Just trying to cli,rract myself, know I didn't sleep for two seconds lat night. "Me neither," L saitl. "What do vou think thcv'll do?" Alok saod. ' ' "Maybe an I in lntlem," Ryan hazarded a guess. '\1\n F! I have never got an F. And we'll have to repeat course," Alok said. ''I know. But it is not the end of the world," Ryan "Are you guys dreaming? They wlll hold a ni E httl Disco with all these profs and aU to give just us a measly ' I said. Ryan and Alok looked at me as if I just stolen the oiT d1cir icc-cream. "Sir, come to reality. l11e Disco meets rarely. And they do, they ha\'C no mercy." "So what can they do?" Alok !aid. "They could expel you from co.lege. Or more rnrnmOI suspend you for a year or a seme ter."
"I !"!>" Alok .,.,id. ,hh-ering
3, il tho.
ia -cream had gin-o
hull a 'old . "l1><'l won't expel. ll1at hao ncwr happ<!ncd. ben to , ', ha"e been cauglll stunlng coke bottle'you know , I"opI m10 wlwrc," Ryan saJCI. . . "l he, could uspend you lor a .emester or a y ar.1hlt os ruough fuck vour future. You try getting a job after that,"
I "'id
"!'or a whole semester? What "ill \\'I: clo
" AI k .d
l.ook<'d lila' our man was jiJSt waking ''P t ll'n? I kpt silent Ryan finished his ''ra"herry cone and to'5ed
thr 0._11
sa 0 o
' h g guys. What l happen t wmethin wol en I "l'iit out Fauo. Your grade sheet will have o\0 grades fora cnoctcr or two. I t may actually ha'c 'suspended' stamped all owr n. Makes for a great con\'ers1tion ,tarter in a job
traioht into the bin.

b
"Sav
ontervicw, ch?" Rvan said. "I think no o;,e " II give you a job, the blootly US types talthis ch atin1; stutT prctt) seriously. No admisston to MBA co'leges either - thq "ill : sk the same in an interview." "In other words, our li,es are screwed," I said, noticing I ha1 not touched my ice-cream. The cone was a gooey mess, I P""'"d It to R}"" to drud into the bin .. 'i\nd )OU gu ' arc calm about it? I low an you be w calm abJut it? What "ill my parents think? What "ill happen to Didi?" Alok said, putting hh elbows on the wble and pulling at hi$ hair. Then hr tucked his face in hi\ Jrm<, m hide hi' tear "Who tlw hell says I m clo n ahout itl" Ryao1 .laid ml 'too0 up, his ,oicc loud enough to >tir thslccl>' ca'hier at
th..
counter.
The LCloy ol Ky We IV
199
"Be quiet and sot down. ll1ere might be people from insti here," I S<Jid. "Fuck the people. And fuck the insti. And fuck this who feel\ only he loses sleepat night and can:s about his Wake up Mr Alok, this is not the time to cry and pull hair. have a bloody Disco in ten hours, Jnd maybe we should about how we are going to ans-,fer the bloody profs." "Oh )<'>," Alok stood up this time. I guess it is easier shout when you are standing up. "Oh yes, Mr Ryan," Alok "so it is you ' ith all the brais to think strategy at this mcolllE Isa}; fuck vou and your strate:What happened to O!loenotiti Pcmlulum?"
It was pointless for rne to try and keep them quiet. needed thi, but we had to do what -we could. Our strategy was hardly creative-it was to be honest, st.n calm and beg for mercy. We only reached Kumaon at six p m., where Ihad at least six phone messages from Prof\cera. He wanted to sec us hclore the Disco, and we agreed to meet
him at nine.
"You got duplicate what made?" ProfVeera asked again, more in shock at the story we had told him. ''Ke\-s sir. l'or six rupees at Jia Sarai," Isaid. Prof \1..-era sat back in his chair and burst into laughter. ''This is incredible.Iha''C never heard this in liT. So Ryan, you thouht ,ou could Ju.t go into the head of department's 0 onic and steal the paper and end up \\ith an A." "ks r." R)an said in a suotably humble \'Oice. "Ami you Hari went and ncaktd out the keyfrnm Ncha, who you say is your girlfriend, so that you could steal from her
"Operation Pendulum? You are telling me that was strategy? Which bloody baby had to call Mom?" Ryan "Oh yes. And which 1rnan in history breaks into a olllce? 'Nothing can hapeen'. My bloody ass nothing happen." They argued for fh'C minutes after\\ hich Ibroke into They were coming ooltheir own, e\"Cn though I didn't think Disco would get the better of me. Man, I was crying like
It wa.< cmb.lrrassing as hell, but at leJst they noticed me. "What is "Tong with you now?" Ryan said.
dad', offiC"'."
""l11at is correct, sir," Isaid. "And you Alok, just went along\\ith this crazy plan of theirs " "They are my friends, sir," Alok said. I have to say this statement touched me. For a moment, I forgot the hell around me and felt good that Alok found that na on enough. "\ou ruv s are idiots. You know,1"ust big idiou, that is what you are," J>rof\\!cra said. He seemed pretty harsh, but we lilrcd
"Nothing.Just stop shouting both of you.This won't We need each other now." "He i' right. Sit down, Fatso," Ryan said.
..
J\11 of u'sat in the ice-cream parlour for the next fire

Q,<'r two banana toflcc: cones, one mint chocolate chip three raspbc;rry dc!;ghtwe
him B.,sides, he was tight. "<;ir, we almot nude it. Alok made this phone call.." Rvan saod
tlgured out the best arguments
Whv not tdl them the truth? You have lOid me "Ainv.>st made it?" Prof Veera int<!rruptcd, "i' that "hat IS all about? You think Iam etlling rou an idiot beetuse got <:aught ?"1l1e tone of Prof\ era ,'<>k<' had b.-come 1l1is
\\-:!<
C:'er
'tJ 111:" Prof \ era said. .to' "Idon't want Ncha to know," Isaid. "Iistcn boys, I am trying to help you here Ithink
)'OU
ate
in a bigmcss but if you can twist this a hit, you may sa'c you1..elf
the closest he got to being real mad
"You, Ryan Oberoi, Ithought was one of thmost brilllw students ,,.e had e,er had. Your lube project w.>< the best
..ome rroublc." "Like how?" "One, we should try anJ present some altcrnathes of
punish01<'11l. I will be there, so I c:an suggest an I in the course.', a public apology and hundred hours of commumty
I ha\'e seen come out of a student I don't ca r( about grades at all. But you were stupiu enough to ri,k your for n stupid letter on your grade shrl't," Ryan l1ung his head.
"And 1he three of you arc 1><->t f, i nJ>. 6ut none of you able to stop each other from thh madness. You kno" Ch.eri:u would ha.-c thrown you into jail. n "Sir, we'll say"are sorry sir. t.laybe thty will be kind, Alok said "Kind? 'Jnis is the Disco, not ,\)other Teresa's home. saw C'hcrian's face," Prof Veera aid. The three of us became silenL Wr coulu hear the ticking in Prof Veera's office. It was nlnt'thirty. "So what is your plea to the Disco? Guilty. or not l!ltiltvl Prof Vcl'ra said. "Gull ;. They caught us red-hanued sir," I said "llmm. I think the first thing you ha''C to do is get expulsion stuff out of the way," Prof Vccu said. "You mean there is a chance?" Alok said "Not too high, unless Cherian 1s hell-bent on it. What you going to say about the keys?" Prof Veera said.
senice " '"v\lhat is community service?" Ryan said. "jmt helpmg around 111 the campus- painting cycle parks or planting trees that kind of stuff," Prof Veera said. "I hate th31 stuff," Ryan said. "Shut up Ryan. That is fine. Pll!'ase continue sir," I<aid.
"1\,o, I want you to r.\ist the story a bit. I hatc lying, but
\'OU
wcn't ha\'c much of a chance otherwise. So, insteau of
saing :ou tricu c.JiiTerent keys, say tbat Neha ga'-e the keys to
you," l'rof Vtrra said.

"Wht?" II three of us said in w1ison.
"Listen, if you say that you know Neha, and somehow he

was up<ct with her father and g:.vc you the keys to get even, it \\ill get per>onal. The Disco committee "ill think you didn't actualh break in. I don't know, they
may see
right through it,
but I t'link you should take a chance." "\\hat \\ill Neha think when she finds out?" I said, "No
"-ay "" can do this."

"An upset girlfriend is better than a tainted d<'gree and no
jobs after cnllege," Prof era said.
"I don't want to bring Neha into this. I thought we'd say we t-ollected lots of keys and tried them until one work '<!. I smcl.
'2()2
f1VC
1\lint 6,:>111C(IIIC
"Prof Veera is right I lari," Ryan -.1id, "you bring Clwrian's f.unily 11110 this and he may \\ithdra\\, Last thing he wani; e\'cryon to know that you arC' his daughter's bo frit'nd " nut this " II let the whole world kno"," I:..ud. ")ou don't ha'-e to tell the whole story. Just '-"Y Nd1a is a n-cem friend of yours. Iam sure Cherian "ill not di,pute that," Alok said. "Aiok, C\"Cn you think this is the way?" I said . "Yes, we haYc to save our ass right? C'rnon, it is just a lastditch sur\"i\',11 . ltrategy. Last-ditch suniYal," Alok sa id. I hated myself for agreeing to that story. What would Nd1a think when she heard what I said? That she helped me by gi,ing the keys? She'd probably hate me fore,er.The clock .\Iruck ten, and it was time to go to the departmental committee room. Romance was secondary to suni, al right no"
20
The Longest Day of My Life V
THE
liT DISCO IS ABOUT AS FAR AWAY FR0.\1 DANCING AS it eon get. ll<rc the lighting is dull, the room <lc-<l <ilc-nt ond
almost cwronr elderly. Around ttn profsat around a semicirculu table, while the accused students were bang in the centre. Profs t.re questions at students from all directions, the location pl cing us at minimum distance to each one of them. It is es.scntially more clllcient ck'sign of a courtroom, I guc s. lndem-i nspi red. Dcao1 Shastri asked us to take our places. Dean Shastri, Director \hma and Prof Cherian formed the co-chairpcr"'ns. Pmf \era \\"JS one of the other SC\-en profs who mattered little in the schc)ne of things. A lot of them yawned, probably used to ing in bed t this time. Of course, for their studen._,
'2()2
f1VC
1\lint 6,:>111C(IIIC
"Prof Veera is right I lari," Ryan -.1id, "you bring Clwrian's f.unily 11110 this and he may \\ithdra\\, Last thing he wani; e\'cryon to know that you arC' his daughter's bo frit'nd " nut this " II let the whole world kno"," I:..ud. ")ou don't ha'-e to tell the whole story. Just '-"Y Nd1a is a n-cem friend of yours. Iam sure Cherian "ill not di,pute that," Alok said. "Aiok, C\"Cn you think this is the way?" I said . "Yes, we haYc to save our ass right? C'rnon, it is just a lastditch sur\"i\',11 . ltrategy. Last-ditch suniYal," Alok sa id. I hated myself for agreeing to that story. What would Nd1a think when she heard what I said? That she helped me by gi,ing the keys? She'd probably hate me fore,er.The clock .\Iruck ten, and it was time to go to the departmental committee room. Romance was secondary to suni, al right no"
20
The Longest Day of My Life V
THE
liT DISCO IS ABOUT AS FAR AWAY FR0.\1 DANCING AS it eon get. ll<rc the lighting is dull, the room <lc-<l <ilc-nt ond
almost cwronr elderly. Around ttn profsat around a semicirculu table, while the accused students were bang in the centre. Profs t.re questions at students from all directions, the location pl cing us at minimum distance to each one of them. It is es.scntially more clllcient ck'sign of a courtroom, I guc s. lndem-i nspi red. Dcao1 Shastri asked us to take our places. Dean Shastri, Director \hma and Prof Cherian formed the co-chairpcr"'ns. Pmf \era \\"JS one of the other SC\-en profs who mattered little in the schc)ne of things. A lot of them yawned, probably used to ing in bed t this time. Of course, for their studen._,
?.04 f'w I \">inI &_ cone ,,
The.on0e.ot Day of ti y Life V ?.05 l
dumped with a11nthcr Set of assignment;, th< night would just begtm.
"!Ilay the disciplinar)'I'Otnmitlec beoln , fellow co-cha Jr Dean Shasti said in what I felt was a complete waste ' courtesy.
..No talking amongst the students," Dean Shastri said anc.l I<>Ciked u p from his flle. 'Sorry sir," 1 said. Ryan and I pointt'd thumbs at each other. Damn it, I could answer these old bows any time. '"Mr ll.a ri Kumar, the files here state that you were found in Prof Clterian 's ofllce- last night with two friends. Is that right?" Dean Shastri said.
"You mav begin," the Director and Prof Cherian said. 1 gtcss this formality gave them an extra s<>nse of powt>r. What if Iwas speechless today, I thought and sweat broke out 011l over rne. All the profopened the special Disco which contained a <lcscription of last night's shenanigans...,,,.,. Ryan noticed rny ncrvou ness. It is amaing how people \1 ho know you well can sense e,erything. "Hari," hi! whispered. I look<.>d at him.
\es sir," J said. "Ryan Oberoi, we learn that security found you with a
Qndle, wax seal and the packet of major papers in hand. Is that right?"' "Yes, sir," Ryan agreed. "Alok Gupta, we learn that it was you who was anaking a
C:l!l from Prof C11erian's phone last night."

Alok nodued. "Do you boys r-ealie th.e gravity of this incident?" the director said .
"I know what you are worried about. Remember, this is

not a l"iYa. Lf you don't open your trap here, you will be in deeper crap than a bloody zero. You understand, don't you " "Uh, yes,'' Isaid. '\'\nd f want you to know that e1et though Ihate to admit it, you are a bloody stud," Ryan said. "Why?" . "Because, in from of you lies a man ll"ho controls your future nght no11:Yet, what er be may do, he can't take away one fact." ''What?" "That you went and slept with his <mly daughter in broad dayHght. That nry friend is a true stud," Ryan said. "You think so?" [ perked up.
"I do. I salute you man. I am proud to have a friend like vou, u Rvan sa i d. .
"Yes sir, we got carried away sir," I said. Man, 1 was surprised Iwas taki1g the initiative to answer these questions.
Other questions were part-rhetoric, part-moral in nature.
Ican't even remember all of them now, it was about integrity and strength of cha racter and all that stull:We just apologized, probably a million times. Ultimately they asked the question we were waiting for.
"How did you get into my office?" Prof Cherian said .
"We had the
keys, sir," Ryan said.
"How did you get the keys?" He looked baffied. "Sir, we ir..." I said and turned silent. No, Icouldn't do this. "Hari's 11-ie td Neha gave it to us," Ryan supplied.
I beamed.
ean Shastri ,1.1kcd. Neha Chenan is Prof Cl . c. d r lenan 'daumter I kno " me n Or the "- 'St h rec months." I sa id " l,er . r1he room fell silcm as Dean Sl . . mouths went slack Th last n and Director . ey turnc<ltoward p f Ch . wanext in the I' . I' ro tna n a\ mng me But th ' "Wh ? Yc at was not DiS<.'O nrr" -at ou sure of what ou ' . Shstri "''" Y art t lking about?'' "I am. She was upset with h r. ('I'Cn. She ollercd th k . e.r thcr and WJntcd to e C)S and we go .d ' carne away " I Th<'re . ''ere not too Indn . u . ' someho"; Cl>:ry prof d > q esttons after that. th SCI'Cn sleepy P f- wankte to talk to their neighbour. ro 5 wo e up this 1 a 'imp!caught-red-handed vas more intc:esting ..
"Who is Neh3?D
Oterian whisp<'red .' Director Verma' sorncthrng in Dean ShJstri's s ears. Dean Shasoi nodded and made announcerncm. "We are done Illth . . llll'eSti,gat' I now need to delibe . rng t lC <tHdents. I think. . ' rate "' the committee 1111portant dec:sion Th. to COme up \\ith . ts mav take som ol hours. 3ut once \\'e 11 ' h ' c trme, el'en a couplr tnts ' we will hale 11 I d a ma cdsion. No appeaIs, no pleas Th d e st u ent s m 1 Dean Shastri . ay CJI'C no"'" . stgnaled us to lea1 th -c D '.leo room and c e room. Wleft the "H d ame out to th( campus lalvns ow o )'O u thrnk tl at went?AJ k ' . I 'd . 0 I shcu d sat ggc my shoulders Th h in dt<' stomach. . e I ought of Neha kicked me "Who knows? let's wait h near ere " R .... Cl own on tI1e wet n 'd . yan sa'" sitti,.. 11 neg1 grass. --.. .. It It could take hours t .. 1 .$aJ .d
"\>Jhat cl>e do we hl,c to do? But let's not wait ncar here. go to the insri roof," Alok said. ld) liked the idea of the insti roof. It was the one place where 1 . r It secure no";as even Kumaon was difficult to be in right \It- IC . with a million eyes on us. pO\\, 'HO"' will we find out they are done?" Ryan \aid. "Vv\:'11 keep looking dnwn. The corridor light is on. When hn come out, we should be able to see something." I ' "fine, let's go up," Ryan said. \-\1: sat on the roof of the institute building, each of us five kctapart 3t the ends of an imaginary oianglc.The moon shone 100 audaciously for what is, after all, just reflected light. It was different on the roof that day. I hated myself for dragging Neha into this. In fact, I hate<! myself for being a cheat. And for Cl't'rything else - agreeing to duplicate the keys, being 3 part of Operation Pendulum and bringing my life to this. 1/ouclid It hcrcllu;s a copper in D!J' school all my file. 7hat is how Igor imo liT, rig/11? Out then ll'h)' am I now 3 /ou-perlornur, li -poinc somethingclu at sitting on the insti roof.Jt midnight, unsu;e of my future? It is funny how your mind comes up \\ th questions.Dotmn it, it is up to the mind to come out with the answers, so why can't it just keep its doubts to itself? I realid I was not making !(nse. 'F.m sleepless nights in n row didn't help. 13ut the quest. tons would not stop. ' I looked at my friends. Friends? WhJt the hr/1 is that '11 101'!,1'? U11V ;, tflil Alok? And what the fuck do I Cdft th;ll hi.t father is half-dei!d and his sister can't be married without C.lsfi?Then I turned to look at Ryan. Yes, the stylish, smart and C'Onfident Ryan. The man who was so sure of himself, he rould
tJkon the world. 1-k \\anted hircn ngt on Clwria . "lut "'"t! is tlw point o!'tlJJt?Doc>ll't ><:con like 311 hi$ rc quilL' so sm rt after ill!. Wh) du I li tt'll to him
Alukl And ul, is er:rylxxly so qu tt 1/oul

I bent my head to check the time on Ryan's Swiss It was three in th(. morning.
""lea?" Ryan sa id , rubbing his hands. "No, I'm already \\idaw kc, thank you," I 'iJid.
"Yeah. I am line too," Alok said Tea That is the best Ryan can come up "ith right h01 of taiT inc as compensation lor tiH'o\\ing away C\'ervtltl th.u mallL'rcd to w.. "It' cold here," Ryan said. I nodded my head. Yes Ryan, it is miserably cold, lmost likL a Dccemlxr night in DLIhi, I wanted to say. ou know what, I don't reel it. ll1cre are more imooru misernhl.- things happening right now. Like we could be out of II r i n a few hours. and may ne,er find a res.pcc:tall tducation or job again. I choanother response. "Yes, be t),c degree>," I said. Hall an hour passed. R an stood up and walked to precipice of rl1c roof. Nine stories high, this is the hil!h 'st1poli in the institute. Yet, there is no parapet, as the roof is out of bounds. One step more and Ryan could enjoy his fw seconds of free-fall wcightl ssnes He stands on the and hencb forw rd to look dom1. He extends one leg "Wht are you doing?'' Alok said Yes, "hat exactly are you doing Ry.111, I thought. Haven't 11\cd on the edge long enough? Isn't our life $<:rewed up ]ready? Can't we wait for the Disco results in silence withOII
, back R,-.n," Icalled out. "(on\< ' "lt is really high 1 .". S lo dv he tcrc. ' ,. [-{c turned aroun d. ame back tO where he'd been stttmg. reat<'thcr imightfu I st.tements, 1 les, 1 1 \Cs, \ ' .
1 IS
,g
l..
1 bl 1 wondered h' compkttlv lack, it i> t 1C a III\ . If tht"re IS one t 111g men .
'tcate dudng touoh moments. Alok and 1 have no corrunun b " o 11 I '1c the best Rvan can come up with., comment words a\ a \\ ll J d',-r r om
,11
.L od mamic and spatial state. So t ltrcnt r our Ulcrm ) 1 l\cha who always has something appropriately ,..., ba or any . ' I 't be aJW more Neha a!ter thts, sion But l 1ere won ' . occ d ,hal" stratcg)' a . II f AloK's so calk "last-ditch UI m tspec1a ) a ter l h . . ' Neha - mv stomac ' c urm as the DiS<.:O intenew. No more ' . the fact Onally registers.So here lam, itting wtth my rwo r d '11 get me throwl1 0\ll ot' the college that! wot' e men s one w1 Th l into and endured for anoth r thnc yea '!>. e two yc:ars to gc f I 11 '\'Cr hat! other has ended "hatever semblancr o a O\'e I e c. . "You think the Disco mtght be lenient?" !Jok s_"'d oke. Y know the ou "It is the disciplinary COt't1mlltec , not a l
l:s
Disco l1l'\'Cr ;pare," I said. . h 1"'tnd it funny even at this hour, rven Otsco, w at a name, " . when I am in the middle of it. . " f us. "This was all a bad tdca, Ryan looked up at botn o he said . ld cry high and 'cs, Thank you, Ryan. It co t IS v 'd J keep theob' 10U' ()po:rJtion Pendulum was a bad 1 ca. us1 cnt,r. ging ill attention-seeking bcha,iour, please?
Statements coming. < We heard a Mise downs irs at
h'" " A few
scooters l b k home That started, as tired profs wantcd to rus was our our-t 1
CUe; the results were out.
1
ac
210 l'tve l),;,ml &n,..._.,.1C
11 l.onsc"t Day ol My l.olV '211
"C'mon gup, wn {d to r:e down," Isaid. "Yes, l t's go. Prof Vcern should be there," Ryan "lam going to stay here. Just come back and tell me." said. "Just come down, latso," R)an said "No, I can't face the profwhen they tell me,'' he "Whate\-cr then Let us go, Hari,Ryan said. We ran dO\m the st.Jirs. Most of the profs had left. Shastri, Cherian and Vcera remained. "Prof Veera sir," Ryan said as he approached him behind.
"So we have to do courses next year. And we can't sit for JOb inteniews either," I said. "I am afraid so. I tried talking to Prof Chcrian about aUowingsome project credit in the suspended semester. I asked if you guys could work \\ th me. But he just said no. Su,pension means full suspension." "It's o>-er. Our grade sheets are rumd. We can't get a job. And we have to wait an extra )'Car to get a useless degree," I
soi,f
Ryan kept sllenL "Iam sorry it turned out this way guys,Prof \ era said,
"Rvan," Prof Veera said, "just a second."

Prof \ era spoke to Chc.'rian and Dean Shastri for a more minutes. Soon all of them wished each othPr night. Chcrian wt'nt to his car, du one that had allowed this to happen. ...> tr. " I Sal .. J 'd "Ryan and llari, you hav( not l cn expelled," Prof said "Really? So what was the decision?'' 1 said. "We t lked for hours. TI1ere was divided opinion, ultimately the Disco decided that the three of you suspended lor one semester." "Sic?" Isaid.
patting our shoulders. lie walked past us to his scooter. A few

seconds and some exhaust smoke later, he was gone \'ie dimbed up to d1e msti roof. whrre 1\lok waited with his hands folded. Maybe he was pra)1ng. Or maybe he was just cold. "Kicked out for one >em. F in lndcm. Need to stay until next year to complete cour>e," Ryan said, summing it up (or Alok. "What?" 1\lok said, coming out of his trance. "Prof Veera tried, saved an expulsion. But it is still pretty screwy. I don't know what we'll do," I said. We sat down again. It was ftve a.rn., just one hour before davbreak. Alok stood up without saying anything. I wished he would,
"1 tried guys. But the Disco doesn't go easy. You

semester, which means you have only one last semester to fourth year courses. Also, you get an f in lndem, and you to repeat it again. Not to mention the final year project. As no\\; insti rules do not allow to take that much cotJrs -1<> Prof \'c.-era said
as nis face seemed tense ahdl He walked to the edge of the

roof where n had stood just an hour back. "You were right Ryan. It is pretty high here," Alok said. "You okay Alok?" Ryan said. "Yes. You think only you can stand on the edge of the roof?" Alok aske<!.
'21'l Ike funl &.DC\.'f'oe '
"No. JuL c-onw hack and let us g<> down. t'no:gh/' R\'an aid
I hav"
Nukcoutinucd to look down as he r plicd, "ForonL't' I agree with you. 1\'C had enough too. I think l'lljiiSt go Ihere was somethingme .cd up in the tone." of Alok\ I turned around 10 look at him. I le stood straight, 1hcn jump up and then straight down. In half a second, he was of ght. Gravity had done its job.
21
The Lon8est Day of My Life VI
HAD N EVER BEEN INSIDE AN AMBULANCE BEFORE. IT WAS kind of creepy inside. Uke a hospital was suddenly asked to pack up and mo,e. Instruments, catheters, drips and a medicine box surrounded two beds. There was hardly any <pace for me and Ryan to stand even as Alok got to sprawl out. l guess with thirteen fractures you kind of deserve a bed. TI1e sheets were originally white, which was hard to tell now as ,AJok's blood co\'ered t'\'<'ry 5quare inch of them. Alok lay there unrecogm ble, his eyeballs rolled up and his tongue <:ollapsed OUtside hi mouth like an old man without dentures.Four front teeth gone, the doctor later told us. His limbs were m onless, just like his father's right side, the ri,<>ln knee bent in a way that would make you t ink Alok
'21'l Ike funl &.DC\.'f'oe '
"No. JuL c-onw hack and let us g<> down. t'no:gh/' R\'an aid
I hav"
Nukcoutinucd to look down as he r plicd, "ForonL't' I agree with you. 1\'C had enough too. I think l'lljiiSt go Ihere was somethingme .cd up in the tone." of Alok\ I turned around 10 look at him. I le stood straight, 1hcn jump up and then straight down. In half a second, he was of ght. Gravity had done its job.
21
The Lon8est Day of My Life VI
HAD N EVER BEEN INSIDE AN AMBULANCE BEFORE. IT WAS kind of creepy inside. Uke a hospital was suddenly asked to pack up and mo,e. Instruments, catheters, drips and a medicine box surrounded two beds. There was hardly any <pace for me and Ryan to stand even as Alok got to sprawl out. l guess with thirteen fractures you kind of deserve a bed. TI1e sheets were originally white, which was hard to tell now as ,AJok's blood co\'ered t'\'<'ry 5quare inch of them. Alok lay there unrecogm ble, his eyeballs rolled up and his tongue <:ollapsed OUtside hi mouth like an old man without dentures.Four front teeth gone, the doctor later told us. His limbs were m onless, just like his father's right side, the ri,<>ln knee bent in a way that would make you t ink Alok
was honeiC>S. 1-1.- was till, and if I hatl to bet my money, h'-e said ht was dead. "If i\Jok make< it mrough this, I \\ill \\The a book our crazy (bys. 1 really will," I swore. It is the kind of promise you make to yourself when ,ou are seriously ' up in the head and you ha,-en't slept for ftfty hoursu,.;o(,.
n,nk god Ahk \\'an f<llso. And thJnk t,'<>U they made thai
.....dr<l nnll.lin by the i11sti huii.Jing. Elcwn fracture< in th.: kg> and two in the arm< i,n't -.o ha<l. Gi\'en ho" much Fatw eats, he could probably bui ld hi< honts back in a day. "I thought he'd die, I really thought he would," Isaid ami hu Ryan. And then Isurtt'<l crying. I don't know \\i1y I dtd
The ambulance took uto AIIMS, the biggest hOl>pitd Ddhi. The blood and two sleepless nights had made me
1 don't k1 who called the ambulance, or who mad(' ow choice of hospital. Mayl><.: it was thscurity guard. b rvno around me seemed to be acting urgtndy. More medical professionals at the AIIMS emergency Thi was a goverumenr hospitll, so lots of people but 'cn'ice. Ryan screanwd at a fe" of them, shaking them action. '' :'fine stories?" one of the stretcher- bearers probably WOndering if it was C\'C n WOrm it to <;arry this weight to the intcnsh-e care unit. The doctor told us to lea,c the ICU and wait Damn, fiv::as tired of waiting. 1 sat outside on a wooden Relarh-es of patients lighting for lile inside sat around mothers, uaughters, SOilS and lathers. I tl'ied flghtingsleep, it \\nuldn't work.
R an woke me up at noon.
an Alok then. It was embarrassing but kind of okay in a hospital. "Is he awake?" "Not much. But mostly lx-<:ausc he hadn't slept for two days. Let us go pinch his butt," Ryan said. We went inside the ICU and saw Alok asleep. "Patienlntrds time to st," the nurse said and signnlled us
to ktcp qukt. We left tlw !CU and took a bus back to Kumao11. On our \\'3 bJck in me.' bus, R\'311 turned tO me ")C)U knO\\ \' ' . Hari, I owe htso a lot." "Realk?" I said "If it weren't for him, 1 would lm'(' ne,'Cr studied to l'\'t'n reach a !he-pointer," Ryan said. I guess he was right. It was only he who brought uto our hook.s. And now as h.. lav tberc, \\'C didn't ha''e an\ hooks to . ' tudy from. "You think he will be oka v?" . . R\'an Solid. "He "ill Ryan. lie will," 1 said and hugged R"an. For till first time, he fdt mor< hea\)' than strong. He hugged Ill<' back tighter. "I am sorrY H ri. van said and hb \'Oice sound<'<like R he was fighting back tear, "I am sorry." "It's ok.1y, \\'e can get through this," I said. All of us needed time to rest. And we had time - fou nlonths of it - to take all the rest in the world .
My entire
left side had cra1 mt:IC
"He is going to mal:c it! Doctor Solid it is pretty bad, he is going to make 11! "Wh tl Howl l mean really?'' "Yes, he f'dl on his bottom, right into the fountain insti building. Can you believe that? Doctor said his fat and the six inches of water cushioned the impact."
by
..
Ryan 4'c:ok.o '217

3
nJ confused
22
Qyan <>peaks
! BLEW f'T. DAMN, FATSO US IN THE ICU BATTUNG brc.Jtlu:.
11
- hopeless{ in lo'l!, physically unappealing. nts ro keep his friends togtther; fumblesin i:.s- whilte-er, IITIJICI'er. Cm 't help hut li-e/ sorr." for that guy right? Did it c-er OC'CIIr to )lJU th ll ; tone le'CI Mr Sorrybo)' hils
fi,Jtenr, 11
J h rer to him
th.u ht: doesn't want to unnPe/ Jnd nil/ not brino up in his, yes tlldt is tht: ke_v word- HIS, book? Like II, nil/
pe-er reillbbring up his parents. Or iljou tl1ink he ill t'CI'ml the hicu rod storx .Jbout wh r his ims ret screuro U'f>- sorn 0 "I :, no luck ther-e. Or why docs h,,,/nm -s make fun of'Aiok 's l.imii J. .
I meJ/1 it is funny but it isn't w!IJI you could call S<!nsitio t'.
No, he won't nliu really nas di ster, eh? This whole Opoen.,Ob!ij Ptndulum nas,. mist.Jke- in bindsigllt of course. It anJd h;n-e been dillerentyou knou: If F.ltso had jus:not tri<:d to
go into .VI
thJt. Maybe I can touch on it 3t
least (too mud1 and he'll <'dit it right out). But before that, 1 want lo come ck to Alok. Ma11 -you don't jump nine stories beaus.! some nld bom.f dn .t Di<ro on )'011. Or ilyou c.>n't Jl',l' for the ar that nil/ buy your sis a loser for the rest of'her
a buck .Jnd make th.Jt phone call, or better )'t:t, il' he come 3t all. II'nothing else,.Jtleasthe should ha-e known bel1 t!Mn to jump. H-11.tt is lt uith Alok, or for that matter. with llari? When will du:y grow up? ' "'!o"' you will say. I rr!< lly don't r. nt to accept that it my f.lU!t. Ryan will blame anyone-his parents, his /i-iemls, college, een god - anyone but himsel[ He is that boy
d1e grudge! I don't blameyou. JOu are J'l!dding Hari's version. How he beth d CU(- right?After aU, Hariis just a bumbling tn;.a who an tget hisgndes orlifein order. Heis just kir.d-,l!earted
ett
life. v is he so stupid? If ht' nas so mad, he should ha'<'

pushed me inste.1d.
lOu know wh.u, despite wlm you mighr think, !like Alok.
Jes, uy, light, we argue and sometimes I hate his mugger-ll'hilll'r
guts. But at the l'nd of the day, the guy li1-es a selfless file. l-It doesn't realb II'Dnt to get tflat high ;wcragr: in the quiz. Danm, h: doesn't c'l'n 111<111t to be an 1/Tian (but then, who ll'ou/d).
It .is something be does lor his folks ck home, day alter day after da)' just a. he has been sening his dad since he nas
l1Jeke, locked in that room
fuU of books, mediaiJCs and
he llel'Cr grew up. Ihat is why he thinks tts ok1y to - ugh - cry ,tt twen
r y nldt is uhy And rh.n is wh,. he ncu had fun. But does that mean he doesn't Want to? Whv do you think be swck uith us? Or "hr
..Come ruck? Be<;;use at one iel'l'i, he knew tll.Jt be WJ$11'1
Uy:u 6pc::>h 19 link.n. J Jc 11aJ ju<t .1 ho,. who 11;1/JI<'d w I>< .:m ani<t owldn 'r I><-rom< on<". Ami he 11<1.< .1 !Jo. 11ho nerr l1.1d liirnrl< 111 hi1 hii: - hut he 11-:1111<'d them. lind when I
hi1u
'd "RJn, J'Otl ,Jrc stupid m mwt to sacrilk< so m11ch 1 0 d11 5 1 Al k 11<''" 11 ' . d . -our /nell . 1n .sOJIJC: 'lui'S, it is drr -.Jme Ill.> ''' ' ' , tar.' . I . I' t B rh 0( ovo fwe Jo.r touch ll'itlr wh.11 yuu
/JJ' for
1
II$
.wrr .' o
liYJ/11 rb.1
hiclt.u.. r.tg!Jint., it
tV3511 1 ifOJJJr-thi11g
h.!pf><'ll<'rl to hun <'n d Jal t .tuck ll'ith me-. .1nrl 1 1 0.
rt'
1ft II<J/11 . p rdoiiiiC

1
"
I I
<' 1.
.,
.J
7 S:o, I .tsk(d him if he ll:tS in rooch 11111 mtat ht nodded.

11; nt?"
11ith me, .mrl Cl/1 crl me .rl/fl h.ned

11 .u
Ill<'- ll'hilt' .11/ he II'Ji
/r<'
11.,11ced. rlrrd
lighrin,f!, cursing .wd hiltmg him rll I <hoolc romi,tiom - Oil(' rlidn 'r /1.11r to c.ut lor p.m'/1/'5 .11,,// nnl" dicln'r ban to .u-cq)l the nrrm, one didn'r h.nr: ' ,,crifie-' /1111. I pa,hed fum, be Jr . itcd .md liked it .11 tht' time. A.nd I puslwd somr mnrt, .mt! more, until I lllnt ' l.ir. God. plc.!ll.' !tr him lm. Bur ll.rrii Him lm.1111 to Mk ,, {(11 questions. Like 11 ith your 1:unJJt 1/.ui' I< r!le'rr: going to b. /H) mn:rinr/1.1t? ll-h.11ilhnat m1r I J.1d -the mlond in rlw IVb.Jt i< tht rult in the hmt<c- no Tlno m11.<ic. 110 loud? It'' .11//or disctpliuc, right Aml mur mother- Jllr' turm. <ilellt !'or da. l'it:/rtl t'<, . mit J mi1111te. 1 .m1 nnt <uppo<ed to tillk about thJt. 1bout the f>t/r mur f.rthl!r h.m in thr dos<"t. Do 1v u dn3m nl' tlwt .<<>mctimc'.\, 1/ari? I It told ;vu not to fA!Ck. l(n)tt il/IStn'r.T)Uf <UJ>t.'riOrS ruck,)'OU 11'iJ/ W' pcmi.fM l St't't!n'[l: /.s ir 1 it'il-trind Dot!.< it still hart, Haril
'
It' I
"l-l'l1.1t do you
I .,,ked.
To lw I'OU." "Wh.ul'' 1 hadn't lle.ud right! "ln; rll Nc:ha, .. he s.lid and pass,'<l out, tht: horr J' bJStdrd. ' _, 1 S So miJl , Ihe ai'J I 'u:n _ he m.w not lit-e /or others. but
U(J/1t,(
o u c:. like oclrer s.' Conlit>cod, I tdl;mr. 1 .. .

I'
o ,; /think lam pushingit H.1ri is oh): he just has

lrt' doesn't n-ant to t.1lk i10011f. And ju.<t bealuse lt'rites il hook docm 't mean on /r,1, to b..1rr: all. Af'tt'r all, i<.t book .li>OIIt/11 -the p!Jce nfwn' ne m3kes a limr . o
1\<ae.<
i< th<- point o!' di&,t1ing up the p.1stl
So f<'lme come bJck to 117.' II.Jri (nith mo ,rxJk.t
him th.111 h<" can lr.mdk:) onntold mr.> bis 1iew on
frfl/l(j fsM
23
Kaju-bum
Two MONTI!s INTo ouR susPENDED SEM( TIR. finally returned to Kumaon.The casts were still on and <lO<:tOr. said that C\'t"n when they came off, he would be lcf;\lith a sliglll'! lirr.p in his left leg. Small price to pay for one's life 1 gue though it
at least hop-ami-walk to the toilet and not embarrass himl>Cif ";th company there.Though docs had warned us not to mention the fall, Ryan couldn't resist asking orn:e, "Stupid or what?" But Alok kept silent. A couple of times, Prof Veera visited at the hospital. lie kept our spirits high, saying how he would try to get us to take extra course-work in the last sernester to compl te our credits. lie even unsuccessfully tried talking to Chcrian on a mercy plea. Prof Vccra even came to Kumaon, to welcome Alok back. "So nger, you are back in your den," he greeted. Alok was sitting on my bed, his torso propped up on pillows. "Sir, you shouldn't have bothered to come." "No big dcJI," Prof \'cera dismissed and took out a box !Tom his oog, "llcre ha\'t" some S\\'eets. On Alok's return home and for something else." Alok looked at the box and almost snatched it Ol;lt of Prof Veera's hand. When it comes to food, Fatso forgets all
meant Alok would never forget that night for the

of his life. We visited him daily in the hospital, as we had nothing to do an)"vny. We ne,-er discussed going home for the sen11esl&' Somehow, we knew we had to stay in Kumaon and LX' ncar other. No one really talked to us much. If they did, they wanted to know the inside srory-whar we did what " Disco like, why did Alok jwnp etc. It suited us ;o stick to COOIT)S and limit our outside trips 10 the hospit l. .Aiok vorc us into kt."eping his high jump a secret from famlr Hts bono:s healed gradwllr and after a month he CO\lld.,
formalities.The box contained laju-burfi, his aU-time fill'ouritc.

"You shouldn't have, sir," he said, the three pieces stuffed in his mouth mufRing his voice. "Just enjoy guys. n1irtcen bones broken and home in two months, that is worth celebrating," Prof Veera said, stroking Alok's head.
We were happy at Alok's return too, and now at the box of kdju-burfis. If only Alok would lea\'C the box alone for o-,e
Snnd. "Sir, what \s the other reason for the sweets?" Ryan eventually enquired. "Yes, of course. I have some good news for you guys finally," Prof Veera said.
A.rprN11Ii 'A'll
Chl'rian wants to do anothc:r Disco?Ryan " lc&. "fa,, J ,n." Prof\,cr.a .-.aid, "I know it has not been coat for vou )_11.1 ' l!ut this tim"' I arranged it through tht' De&n." "What; Alok nd I said in unison. "You r<mcmber tbe lulx- proj <:t? Well, ProfCherian --.. .lpprowd turther re,earch, hut I wellt to the Dean and said,_
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would lik< to rc,ise ancl re-submit our proposal based on Praf C'lwri r ('dbatk... "I am not working on any fe<dback from that bastani,IJ Rvan d,dared. '
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o, i<l:.t-\".lw ht \\-oll't. But if the \\{Irk;, !,'00!1 and thDean . . .I 'no,,._, i\t lcJ<t ,ou Ita\<! Wlll thing to do 11\ your hkc> ll. \\ \0 .. . s pare tilnc." .. R,Jn S.lU1 "\\\: hJ\'1.' plenty It <In ill our 'Pa, Unle, ., 'H,.,an. \\.11 . tlk ,,. x-dv to Prof Vl'cra, I , 11.
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"\\r.ll you relax, Ryan? Sir. why would we re-submit?"!saki: "That is wherl' lies my ick-a . If d1cy allowed us lO rc-su wt will do some more experimentation in the lab to pro\'1! our luhc aclclith-es do ha"c potential. In some ways, doing SOI11f;_ ol thl' r,<earch at the prop<:>..,I sta!,'C," Prof \\:era s.1id. "Ancl?Ryan squinted hi:. ey s.
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01 . I. I f): n hJd ,h;uwd nw auitude wwald R)J" It e f)ll1C' lO\\t '\C I!\ ::0 .or Ill<' w t<'II I > un tJun"," he J,dn't want to lucll>t<:onw t:a>icr l ...
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>\nd that means ou guys can hdp do tho'IC cxpcrimeJIIIi l a ked the l>tan if ht' woul<.l allow ou guys to work in tht.f lab to re,i.,e the work we hau <.lone.:.ince it "ill be a producti us< of ,. our time. t\nd the good news is the Dean a!'TeeJ. Of course, on a non-< redit basis." R_\on snatched the h<>x away from Alok's hands, took IWO
heat. 1 k di<ln't art..rtluniCh tithtr. . . R\-.lH h uh\iouo -1 1niS.lfUStf uI of c.; cr)thu" ..h i:'t okJ, 11.ni. I chance ,ou o- \ud <10t. J Jhnut th\. iu,ti. llul u :-, t lt' nn 1 t u' .., if you ,Jo mor< \\nl'" "" .1l<' 1u 1 I>rOJ>Osal "ho knO\n, \\T u X
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pkc...s of the 'we<'ts, and sat d0\\1\ to li&.flt a cigarette. someone explain what will be the point of this? Working huns oil' for no ro:ason," he said. "Tiwr<' maybe a benefit," Prof Veera said, pulling ciganttt'out of R)on's mouili and stubbing it on the Ooor, one. y<>u could later e'--plain the absence in your grade sheeto
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Chapter- 24
Neha the name would not allow me to sleep nights.
True, my engineering degree was in the dumps. True we probably pointlessly slaved in Prof. Veeras lab mixing one type of with another all day. True, I may get expletives in my grade sheet that would prevent me from getting a decent job. However none of these bothered me enough to cause insomnia. In fact, the four months off were great to catch up on sleep. But the one person whose voice, smell, image, feelings, crept up next to me at night and made sleep impossible was Neha. I tried calling her on the eleventh . She hung up in two minutes, telling me she never expected me to be like this. I guess for someone she called a loafer, she had pretty high expectations. I had called her right back, trying to explain in vain how the whole idea was not mine, and it was stupid of me to fall for it. You used me Hari. Like all men you used me, she said. Like all men? How many men had she been with anyway, I thought. What has she been reading these days, some Femina- Cosmo crap? I was just trying to sneak out a major paper. Okay, it was pretty sick of me to duplicate the keysbut I did it only because it was convenient. Ryan would have found another way in any case. I tried telling her that , but she was like you men , just dont get it, do you? I thought she wasnt getting it either, but I still loved her like mad. And you told the Disco that I gave you the keys? I Hari? You know Dad still believes that? Wow, I was kind of glad Cherian believed it . How would Neha understand? If they knew we had duplicated the keys, we would have resembled those real criminals. We probably were real criminals. But that was not the point. Man, why is so hard to explain stuff to girls. Cant she just get on with it? Should I say something dumb she wants to hear? Neha, I know I did all those things. But at one level it wasnt me , it wasnt your Hari, I said. Obviously I made no sense. But this is the thing with girls, give them confusing crap and they will fall for it. Then why Hari? Why? I dont know. Can I just meet you once? I said. No way . We are through. She hung up after that and took her phone of the hook for the rest of the day. It meant I had to wait another month, suffer another thirty sleepless nights.
Then the next eleventh came round, and I couldnt wait to make a call. Woke up at ten the next morning. The eleventh finally, I told myself and left the room immediately. I had to make my call fast and think some really good lines this time. I was on my way downstairs when I noticed an elderly lady come up. Probably someones parent. I thought even as I couldnt help thinking she looked familiar. Then it struck me Aloks mom. Hello Aunty. It is me, Hari I said. Oh hello Hari beta. Where have you all been? I had to come to hostel because Alok hasnt been home for two months .Is he all right? she asked, breathing heavily. Huh? Alok is fine Aunty. Must have been busy with the project, I said thinking of a way to prevent her from meeting Alok. Uncle in downstairs in an auto. Call him quickly, we are all worried for him. She said. Yes aunty sure , I said as I ran up. Alok was sitting on his bed, reading a magazine and eating chips. Ryan sat next to him, a porno mag in hand, his cigarette filling Aloks room with smoke. Are you guys nuts? Smoking and porn this early in the morning, I tut-tutted. What are you so worked up about? Why not do the best things when one is still fresh, Ryan said. Alok, your parents are here, I said. What ? Alok said as the chips in his hands fell. Yes your mom is climbing the stairs. She sounds mad and worried you didnt call. You mean she is coming here Alok said, waving his hands to rid of the cigarette smoke. Yes, and I think she is going to see your broken bones now. Fuck, Alok said. Just stay in bed. Well cover your legs with sheets, Ryan said, stuffing the the porno under Aloks mattress. Cant. His dad is downstairs waiting see his only son, I said and dug into the chips. It was fun to see thes two guys worked up now. Fuck.Fuck.Fuck, Alok said trying to arrange his pillows. And I think you should keep the curses down. I said.
Aloks mom knocked about a minute later. It is amazing how much can get done in a minute. Ryan threw out the ashtrays, pornos and vodka bottles. He also arranged the course books and assingnments on the study table. All dirty clothes stayed hidden in an overstuffed cupboard.
Hello mom. What a pleasant surprise, Alok said. Alok, I am not talking to you. You have completely forgotten us. Aloks mom sad as she put boxes of sweets on the study table. I wondered if it ws okay for us to strike at them now. I was busy, Alok said. Shut up. Two months have passed. You havent called since that day you called about and Didis proposal. What happened? You dont want to talk about our problems? No mom. It is just this assignment for Prof. Veera. It keeps us so busy, Alok said. My son works too hard, Aloks mom said looking at me and Ryan, You guys should take a break now and then. After all, your jobs are just a semester away, she said. Ryan and I smiled, contuining to stare at the boxes of food. Please Aunty, offer them once. Alok you must come home next weekend. Look, even Dad has to come all the way in an auto, she said. You took an auto! It is seventy rupees, Alok said. So what to do with Dad? And after all, my son will be working soon. Aloks mom said, and Hari, why dont you have some laddoos I made. Ryan and I jumped on the boxes before she finished her sentence. Mom but still. Alok said. Keep quiet. Look didi also sent a pair this new pair of jeans for you. She saved her pocket money you know, she said, passing a brown bag. Thanks Mom. Ill keep it for a special occasion, Alok said. But at least try It now. Come get up, Aloks mom said. No Mom. Ill do it later, Alok said. What later? We can change size now if it doesnt fit. Dont be lazy get up, Aloks mom said, shaking Aloks leg. I am sure that hurt. No mom, Alok said clenching his teeth. Get up, Aloks mom insisted, pulling the bed sheet off him. She shouldnt have. For Alok still had the signs- plaster casts cowered both thighs and legs. The feet still showed marks where doctors had done the stitches. It was something even we didnt fancy seeing. Oh my God, Aloks mom said as her face dropped along with her hands. Mom please, Alok said, pushing her away and wishing she had never come. Aloks mom felt nauseous and Ryan had to help support her back to a chair. I gave her a glass of water. What is going on? Will someone please tell me? she said.
Ryan looked at me. It was time for us to leave the room. Well go downstairs. Well say hello to uncle and say Alok is in the lab. Okay Aunty? She nodded, her eyes filling with tears. Could any male in her family stand on his own legs? Easy Mom. It was a scooter accident that night Alok said as we shut the door behind them. I was shed know he was lying. A scooter accident with Ryan and me perfectly fine was somewhat unbelievable. We saw her leave after half an hour, wiping her tears. We stood by the auto , trying to make conversation with Aloks dad. He was in a happy mood, probably enjoying his rare day out. Alok busy eh? he said, pursuing his lips. Yes. They have an important project, Aloks mom said, sitting in the auto. Bye, aunty Ryan and I waved. Back to Rohini madam? the auto driver said, starting the scooter. No. Take me to the Mechanical Engineering department Aunty? we chorused. There things which a mother can sense even though her may not talk about it.I want to meet your Prof.Veera before I go home, she said as the auto buzzed. Shell find out. Shell find out about Disco, I said, shaking Ryans shoulder. Let her. She deserves it. Ryan said as he put his arm around me. We went to Sasis for breakfast after Aloks mom left. I have to make my call today I said. Is she real mad at you? Ryan said. She was a month ago. Shes got to miss me right? I said. I dont know. What is the whole deal about missing people and not doing anything about it anyway? Ryan said, and took a brown envelope from his jeans pocket. Sassi served a plate of paranthas. Ryan left the letter on the table and started tearing up the hot paranthas. It is so different when you come and eat here without Alok. There is no frantic urgency about eating, Ryan said.
Is that a letter from home? I said. If you say so. Where are they now-L.A or something, Ryan said. How often do your parents write? I said. Used to be every week, then once in two weeks. Now they write once a month. Ryan said , smothering each chunk of parantha with yellow butter. Do you write back? I said. No not unless it is a couriered letter. In that case the delivery guy asks me to write a few lines right there. So what is the deal here Ryan? I mean , they are just abroad trying to make a buck. What have you got against them? I have nothing against them. I am just indifferent. I need another parantha. Shut up. How can that be? I mean, how come you save all their letters? I saw them. Hundreds of them next to your Vodkha stash. Ryan stopped chewing. Its too complicated. I dont want to talk about it. You wont talk to me? They are too strange. I keep telling them let us stay together after my boarding school. But the international business was really taking off then and they had to leave. I guess what I wanted was never in the picture. So , okay I get the dollar cheque, thank you. But spare me the we-miss-you shit. If you do, what the hell are you going to do about it? Did you tell them about the disco? I said. Are you crazy? Ryan said. You know, you could join their business after IIT. I mean you know what our job scene will be. But you wont have to worry. No way in hell, Ryan said, and clenched his hands. Never. I will open a parantha shop, become a coolie, wash cars but I am not going to go to them. They are your parents. He gave me a dirty look. So thank you very much. I am going back to Alok. You have a good time with your girl. Ryan could you give up your lube project right when it was about to become successful? I said. What?
Answer me. I said. That is the only good thing I ever did in IIT. It is my passion, my sweat, my belief. No, how could I give it up? May be this pottery business is your parents lube project, I said as I stood up too. He picked up his letter and walked away. "Reply to it Ryan," I shouted across the road. He put the letter in his pocket. "Neha, is that you?" I said, even though i was a hundred percent sure it was. "Hari?" she said, her voice unable to hide the fact that she was expecting the call. "Before you hang up, can i just say something?" I was suitably humble. "I am not hanging up. What do you want to say?" she said. "I miss you. And i love you. God, I was so close to you and then blew it up. I wanted an A in your dad's course. I thougt i could impress him. Somehow, in our twisted minds we planned this operation pendulum. And they did a Disco on us , and ruined our lives. Now you also dont want to talk to me........" my voice dwindled to a whisper. "Hari?" "What?" "I missed you too." She broke in tears. I wished i could cry too.But her words made me too happy. I mentally hi-fived myself and tried to control my elation. Keep serious tone, keep serious tone, i told myself. "Oh Neha, dont cry," I said , probably to make her cry a bit more. I cant tell you how good it feels when a girl cries because she misses you. "I cant Hari. I cant forget you. Why did you do those things?" she said. Okay this is progress , thought. From "how could you" to :why did you" is not bad. Twisted they may be , but i did have my reasons. And i didnt have to give them all now. "I can explain more. Can we meet? Just for ten minutes," i said. "Should we? I mean, Dad made me swear I'd never see you," she said. Now how does one answer that. I tried to think of one rational premise on which swears to dad
could be broken. Nothing came to mind. "I miss you Neha," I said. When in doubt, be sappy. " I miss you too. Can you come to the ice-cream parlour at two," she said. "Sure. But on one condition," i said. "What?" "Can we not have strawberry this time? I like chocolate more." I said. "Shut up, Hari." she said, unable to hide a laugh. There, i had done it. Tears to titters in one call. Plus, a tiny date thrown in too. I did a mini jig at the public phone booth, which made the other customers in the shop think i had won a lottery,. "See you then," I said and hung up the phone. I heard the coin go in. What a wonderful way to spend a rupee. Neha stayed at the ice cream parlour two hours, twelve times more than the ten minutes she had come for. By the end i told her everything. She couldnt really remain upset for too long. I guess it could be because i bought strawberry as well as chocolate, but may be it was because she was just happy to see me. We fixed the next date for a week later, and soon we were back in the " fix the next date on the previous' cycle. It helped me pass all the idle time in the dropped semester. We worked eight hours a day in Prof.Veera's lab, sometimes ten or twelve. Ryan worke longer, even upto sixteen. He ripped open his scooter for experimentation, making it a pain to move around the insti. Alok used crutches for a month and then got by with a limp. Prof. Veera liked the second proposal a lot and he kept informing the dean about the progress we were making. He never brought up the issue of a clean grade sheet or extra credits. , but we knew there was a little chance until we finished the proposal. We gave the final draft to Prof. Veera one week before the semester ended. It was two hundred pages and from Ryan, Alok and I this time. "Wow. This is a fat proposal," Prof Veera said. "Its literally the whole study. We have isolated the optimum mix already," Ryan said. "I know. This is way beyond a proposal," Prof. Veera said as he flipped through the pages, " I cannot believe the four monts are over." "Me neither. I guess it will be time to attend the classes again," I said. "And loads of them. Maximum credits this time, and i am not skipping any more,: Alok said. "Me neither, right Ryan?" I said. "Yeah. I'll come along as well," Ryan said, "So Prof. Veera, what do we do with this tome now?" "Well," Prof. Veera said, putting the proposal on his desk, "Let me take a final read and unless there are big corrections, I'll just submit it. Good job and take your week off before your loaded semester begins." "And the credit and grade sheet ,sir," Alok prompted. "Later guys. It depends on the reception of the proposal.
Dont be too optimistic, but we shall see," Prof. Veera said. We left his office leaving our work of three months. It could get us nowhere, but we had given it our best shot. The fnal sem began on Jan 5, just a week from now. And six days later, on the eleventh, was my big date with Neha, when she would be free for the whole day. If she would let me come to her home again, I thought.
Chapter 25 A Day of Letters HE FIRST DAY OF OUR FINAL SEMESTER FELT AS SPECIAL as the first day of classes in the institute. We got up at six-thirty for the eight o clock class. Ryan took a shower and then proceeded to carefully comb his hair for the next twenty minutes. Even then we made it before class began. ft -was Prof Saxenas Refrigeration and Airconditioning or RAC class. He was a senior prof, and touted to be next in line for head of the department. That is, if Cherian moved on to something else, retired or just died.. None of that was imminent as of now so Prof Saxena was content teaching final year students how to keep things cool. We were the first students to arrive, and he was already in the class. Welcome, welcome, Prof Saxena said, now this is a surprise. Who would have thought fourth year students will reach early for class. I guess he was right. In the final semester, people were more interested preparing for job interviews and MBA admissions. We hadnt even bothered to see which companies were recruiting this time, for we didnt know if we were getting a degree this year. Good morning, sir, Ryan said as we took front row seats. We were. sitting in a classroom after four months. A blackboard Never looked so great. I wondered when the class would begin. What are your names?, Prof Saxena asked; 1 have heard those names, he said after we told him. His forehead developed crease as he tried to remember. We had a Disco last semester, sir. You were part of the committee, Ryan said. Oh yes, Prof Saxena said, Yes, the Cherian case. So, this must be your first class in months. We nodded solemnly. That explains it. So, what is your situation? Will you be graduating on time? Prof Saxena said. I couldnt say if there. was real concern in his voice or if he was just passing time before class. . We are five credits short, sir. Even though we have loaded up courses for this semester, Alok said. How many courses do you have? Six I said. Wow Most final semester students do just two. And that too they hardly attend class. You will be in classes all day, Prof Saxena said.
Yes sir. No choice. I shrugged. Have you talked to Cherian about credits? Prof Saxena said.. Prof Veera is trying for us, I said. Hmm. Anyway, the system is harsh. Look at you boys, could have got a job even with your low GPAS. Lots of software companies this time. But this Disco might spoil your entire degree, Prof Saxena said. A few other students trickled in over the next few minutes. I think there were ten of us in class, while, over thirty had signed up for the course. I remembered earlier eight a.m. classes, how we never attended them even in the second and third years. But right now, I couldnt wait .to learn. Third law of thermodynamics, Prof Saxena said as he got up to turn to the blackboard. Ryan, Alok and I took out our pens and jotted down every word the prof spoke for the next hour. .1 met Neha a couple of weeks the final semester. For the .first. time, I had to scramble to make it for a date . I had to - Finish five assignments on the weekend, .not to mention revise notes for the coming minor tests: I couldnt afford to fail in any course, and somehow I had this big urge to learn a lot in my final days at lIT. But a date with Neha was date with Neha, so stapling my sheets for the ergonomics assignment, I ran out to. the ice-cream parlour. Twenty minutes late! Do you realize, you are twenty minutes late? Neha said. Sorry, this assignment I have to go back early today. Dads elder brther and family are coming for Dad is going mad preparing for them. And since when were you into assignments so much? She hadnt removed hands from hips. 1 dont know. Just dont want to take any chances. Can I buy you an ice cream? No thank u I have already had one waiting for you. And with my .relatives home tonight, there will be a big meal. And I am trying to reduce, she said. Reduce what? I asked. My weight, she said . Really? Why? You look great, I-said No way. You should see the girls in m college. Anyway, what have you been up to? she said.
Classes, classes and more-classes Eight to six every day. Then another three hours in the library Then another two for assignments and revisions; I am going mad. But what to do? Never had this muchcourse-load before: What about Ryan and Alok? she said. They are equally overworked And well still fall short of credits, I said. What about your C2D, the whole cooperate to dominate That was all crap. It doesnt work that way Neha. I know it doesnt. might be busy now, but atleast I am learning something. I am not just cogging assignments and beating the system. That is not what it is about. Wow my loafer has become all serious. What is it about then? Her voice went playful, always a good sign. It is about knowledge And making the most of the system, even if it has flaws. And it is. about not listening to bloody Ryan all the time, I said. I You are getting all wise. I iniss my loafer, she said. I became quiet and looked into her eyes.. Then, in one instant I got up and kissed her on the lips. Han! Are you crazy? People know me .here ,she said. - Just to let you know the loafer is still there, I said. Yeah right. Anyway, look what I got, she said and took out piece of paper from her bag. Its your brothers letter, I said. Yes, his last I want you to keep it, she said. Why? I said. It was a weird gift, to say the least. I dont know Dad doesnt trust me anymore. And he comes and searches my room now- and then. I dont want him to find this. Really? Is he giving you a lot of trouble? I said. Not much. I just dont speak to him much. I did hear him talk about you guys the other day though. What? Where ? Ill tell you. Will you keep my letter then? You know I will. What did he say? Dean Shastri came home the other day. They were talking about this proposal. The lube project, I said. Yes, something like that Prof Veera had given each of them a copy. Dean Shastri was quite impressed with the findings. What did-your dad say? I said.
I dont think you want to hear it, she said. No tell me, I fairly shouted. Why do girls take so long to come to the point? He said it was an okay-ish effort. But he told Dean Shastri not to trust these students. He said, who knows? They have. cheated once, they could have cheated to make the findings. They just want their credits, and that was it. Complete crap. That is complete crap. You know Neha, how much we worked our asses off on it. I know. But that is what he said. And Dean Shastri told him .to think about it some more. I put the letter on the table. I spread it out Samirs last words. Someone so sick of his fathers desire to get him into lIT that he preferred death. I wondered how much a train passing over you could hurt. Two large bricks of strawberry please, I heard a voice in the background. Hello Cherian shib. What happened, big guests tonight? the counter boy. said. Yes, my brother is coming from Canada.. He loves ice- cream, I heard Prof Cherians voice. I froze at my table, like all the flavors of ice-cream in the fridge. Neha froze too. We were sitting right opposite him, and couldnt run out of the parlour. We silently prayed he wouldnt see us.. But this was Cherian. A reflection on the steel counter frame was enough. Neha! He turned toward us. I think all the ice-cream in the parlour melted at that tone. Neha didnt say anything. I. didnt move. I recalled last seeing Cherian when he was head of the Disco. Will he ruin me again? I hadnt even ordered my ice-cream. Cherian came and sat next to me. My heart raced as it attempted to leave my body and escape the parlour. You have guts. You bloody rascal, you do have guts, Cherian said as he stared at me. \ Neha cleared her throat but he signaled her to keep quiet Sir, I just.. sir...just had to...sir just ran into her, I said, talking and thinking at the same time. Are you bluffing me again? Cherian banged his fist on the table. It landed on .the open letter and almost tore it. Dad, be careful, Neha said as she tried to push his angry fist away.
What is this? Cherian said. Neha opened her palms and covered the letter Nothing. It is nothing, Dad, she said. What is it, you rascal? Cherian said looking at me, his fist still firmly on the letter, love letters you write to trap my daughter. I told you to stay away from her. So one Disco wasnt enough? It is Samirs letter, I said. Han, shut up, Neha said, as a reflex. I dont know why I said it. But I wasnt going to repeat it.. What did he say? Prof Cherian said. Neha and I kept silent. Remove your hands, Neha, Cherian said and glared at her She withdrew her hands, only to bring them to face to wipe her tears Cherian picked the letter up and read it silently He tried hard to retain his composure, but his eyes contracted and his fingers started to shiver. He read the letter again and again and then again. The two bricks of ice-creams he had bought were melting and creating a puddle on our table; but, the puddles in Cherians mind were causing us more concern. He removed his glasses, his eyes then did the unthinkable. Yes, here he was the head of our department, the tormentor of my life and his eyes had just become wet. two fat tears squeezed out of the edges. And there I was, sitting with the Cherian family as they cried. I could have joined in, but I wasnt in the mood. Besides, ice-cream parlours are hardly the place for group cries. Dad, are you all right? Neha said, wiping her tears. Her father then cried uncontrollably. It was strange to see a grown-up man cry. I mean, you expect them to make you cry. I wished Ryan were here. Lets go home, Dad, Neha said as she got up. Cherian surrendered himself to his daughter I gave Neha the bag of ice cream, mostly a syrupy mass now. Her father kept kissing the letter. They left the parlour. And I hadnt gotten a chance to fix my next date with Neha. But I felt .damn lucky to survive meeting Cherian again. Neha drove the car with her dad still sobbing in the front seat. Sir, are you going to pay for that ice cream? the counter boy asked me.. You mean Cherian was in tears. Like real crying-crying? Ryan was disbelieving. Howling man, with hands on face and lots of tears right until he left. Damn it, I had to pay for two bricks of ice-cream.
Totally worth it. I would pay for four for a repeat performance Yes even he suffers. Yes! Ryan performed a little jig, It isnt funny Ryan. He must have been in shock, Alok said. So? Not my problem. But I missed it. If only I was there, Ryan said. Can we do the assignments for tomorrow then? Do we have RAC? I said. proposal? .7 . Yes, we do, Alok said, So what is going on about the I dont know. Neha told me Cherian wasnt o keen. Let us talk to Prof Veera some time next week. The companies have arrived you know 1 saw the recruitment notice board. Many new ones in the software sector, Alok said. No point looking at them yet. If the credits dont work out, well have another year to think about it, I said as we opened fresh sheets to do our assignment. I slept at four that night. Cherians face after hed read the letter swam before me. Sure, it was somewhat funny as Ryan said But it was also sad. How could a strong man like Cherian get like that? What are these tough people really made of? And the way Neha took her father back, she must love him a lot. Cherian must have loved his son a lot, even though he drove him mad enough to kill himself. Do all parents love their kids? What about Ryan? Did he love his parents? Did they love him? And then I got up. At four a.m. I had the urge to writes letter. Maybe the havoc a letter had wreaked that morning influenced me. I left Kumaon and went to the computer center The twenty-four hour center had students working away on their resumes. The job interviews were coming, yes, but not for us Dear Dad and Mom, This is Ryan: I am sorry f typing this, I just had to write tonight to tell you what has been going on in my life. And not all of it is good. But if I don t tell you, who else will I talk to. I kept writing for like two h l think I made much sense at all times, but I did write about a lot of things. About our GPAs, our Disco, our tainted grade sheets, Prof Veera, and our stuck lube project, 1 also wrote about how they had never really loved me enough to keep me with them I kind of knew [ doing wrong, posing as Ryan and typing away his life story, his deepest Secrets. Simply said, Ryan. would kill me if he found out. But I kept writing until daybreak. I thought Id done a good job with the text, better than Ryan for sure. When I finally took the printout, it was ten pages long It was easy to fake Ryans signature, and his parents would hardly compare for identity I had stolen the address fro Ryans room. It took thirty rupees of stamps to mail the damn thing.
"Where are you coming from," Ryan said as he noticed me come to my room at da "Nothing. Just went for a walk," I said. Is lying bad?
26
Meeting Daddy
p ROF SAXENA BAD TO IM"ERRUPT IllS CLASS lllAT t
Y. A peon had dlivered a message to him, which he read and
Inside, Prof Shastri and Prof ,.at nat 10Prof O,.n.,, No one us to tit down. "Sorry to brinc'fO'l boy.out orcbso. Butjuot thought ,.,..,u talk to yw while we '""re still together," Dan Shutri Aid. Profs together is always trouble, I thought. \\\,maintain deep and meaningful &ilenee. "\\\, have gone over ywr -rlt wioh Prof ond your proposal, and we understand you worked on It In your annester, Prof Shaotri said. \\\, loolr.ed at Prof . "Yes sir, they worked for three months in my lab," Prof
raaid.
ohen rurned to the d..s. "Who Hari, Ryan and Alolr.lhe asl< . fully awne we sat in the front rovt. \\\, duly niJcd OW' lw>ds. Go to Prof Cherian's room. He wants to -yw right
now." I tried 10 be calm, but my heart was beating fast like it had 1 mind of its own. W.IJ it be rh< mtl '!{ rh< lube ptojml Will Ch<rlun hold onothu Dita>J Will hr honJ .,. tmr tD the pollee jK l>uj1ng Neho on DIJ Itt ,.,Jh,t I ptnl.for lib brids 111 JM'tl/? lrrdnant thoughts bock and forth until we reochCl>eri.,'s offiee, where I notith re wa,<
a.._,.,
new lod<.
"Now Profhas made an appeal that we lhow ywr abaenee in the '"""'nth aemellr for reaearch -rk instad or disciplinary ..-uona. It that rigbtl" \\\, had promixd OUtte!Ya not to soy a -td in that room. It was timplc q-don, but we didn't tany trouble. r Oean Shastri, Profbade us. res a.u; Alolt aid. Ine..,r mode: eye contaCt with Cl>erian, but blo oilenee was unnerving.Why wasn't the kingpin in aU this uying anythingI "Then I p:ss you will have a clean vaeJe sheet, ript1" Dan Shutri Aid. Alok, Ryan and I noddccl. .the 6nol dedsion in theae motten It with ywr t.-1 of deportment. And you ,.,..,u know ywr mistakes .,.. quite un.patdonabk. But thla tlme, Prof a.cn.n has agrocd to show ywr aeventh aemester u a reseuch aernestu. "WhatI" the three or us Aid In unison.Sometima, """" good news can be a ahoek.
mo..,
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"l'lw\lt :roo oir, I Aid,wiping .-.tofTmy ford>eod.Thi wasn't a reil moment. "Thonlt )'00. Hari," Cherion dismissed me. "For what?" I said. "Nolhing.I think :roo sboulcl &" back to Prof Saxena'u::ws. And st>rt preparing for !1.- job Interview>, O>erian Aid. or coune, sir," I said and stood up. "And don't behave in the interviews like you did in my viva, Prof O.erian said and .carted lauglling. I tried to sense if there wos rmlk:ious intent in his laugllter, but he sounded genuinely amused. I joined in the Laughter. "Right sir," Isaid and left his room grinning like an idiot.
"I don't care man. TeU me any job that will," Ryan saki. "Soflw.lre. Thot ia the hot aector this year. They hire in dro>-es and don't have GPA-bued short-lisl.ing criteria," Alok said. "I lcwe ooftwore, Ryan YOIIched. "When is the interview?" Iaid. u.a good one is in thnoe ks. What do you "'YI All of us PJ>Iy? Who knows, we can all be together," Alok said. >viii be," I saki and raited my gLasa. -a-.., to r..., enodits. we aD Aid in unbon.
hod promised to drink less sincle the DiK:o, but <llerian's news wos huge and worth intoxication. "Open the second boule," Alok said, "today Iam telling you Ryan, open the second boule. n te it easy, ftao.stiU ha0 assignments and Lab work, not to mention !1.- job interviews, I Aid. "How? Howd&d you do it Hari l" Ryan said, by now already high. "I didn't do anything. I really thought he ws going mad. But !hot is what he said. I shrugged. "You are._,.,., mon, Ryan said as he came f'orward and kissed my cheek. I hate it when he does that. "Which is the ne>Ct interview tl>en Alok?"I asked, pushing Ryan away. "Okay heno is the deal," Alolt said, <\king out a file full of brochures of companies, "we are five-pointers, remeJllberl So lot of these jobs won't even "'ort-list us.
The alarm at .tx a.m. The big interview day had arri...d. For the forst time that 10mester, we skipped the f&rst thnoe .w.... n.., Lut few weeks hod been bockbraldng >vith Prof 'ftr'Lab work ..tding thnoe houn to the already full fourteen houn day workload. But today was the softw>rc: company's interview; the best clw.o. lOr low-CPA students like us to gc-t employment. "W.It<' up, Fauo. We need to dreu up for these lnc.rviews, I hollered. "Will w.: gee itl" Alok said.. "Not ir :roo otay In bed, Ryan said, pulling his quilt way. liT nesUy d...ss up f'or interviews.For the Rrst time in IIlli four yea.., Iwore a tie. It was a weird tie, >vith orange spots on black or the other >vay round, I forget. But it hod worked for a senior last yeor and Kumaonites considered ic lucky Ryan hod got a new lwian silk tie from his parents, bastard. For some reason, his &'fts hod ina-eased the Lut rew ks. I ....ondered if they hod recel...d my letter.
"'"1:
Ryan' scoott'.r wu now cngineless 10 we had to ta.ke an auto to the inJtitute. We couldn't walk and $pOU the crcosct on our r.hirts and trouten, u Ry>n pointed ouL r ft Softw.ue inter ., here," said a sign in the: Uuti building.There were OYer fifty of us, all stu<knts from my bald. dresoed lilce we ....,re attmding our wedding. "Appan:ntl)\ holt the batch has already got jobs. Thit is the best chance for the under- formen Uke us, Alok ighed. I tried to think of the day when I had mrt<d relating .o well to the word under-performer. W.. it the forst quit we m.....J up? Ws It our flnt CPA? Was it the Oi1Cl07 I gu... there wen: enough thing> we screwed up to earn our place in that dub. Amongst the three of us, Ryn bad his interview flrst, foiJo,<d by AJok and then me.Before the interview, "-C took an aptitude test.It had 5implc IQ type queroons that any lilian could answer after a bonk of YO<Ib in him. "It is the interview. That is where they decide," Alok said. We d>min< our gn<X sheets. The seventh scmatcr column was bl.mlc, with 'R.cxan:h Aboencc',cmblnon< across it. The rest of the semesten were pretty ordinary, lots of C. and Os. "Best of luck, Ryan," Alok said as he hugged Ryan. "Careful, don't spoil the CI'CU!." Ryan warned. He: came out after tv.'Cnty minutes.
"jwt what<YCr. Let us just walt and see, he said. Alok went for twenty mlnuteo. It was my turn as $00n as he came out. A thirty-year-old man wdcomed me into the interview
room.
"Hi. I am Kamal O...l You are Hari, rightl" he said. ..b...,. . Aid. "Sit down, ut down. And don't air me, call me J<.mal." I ..t down quieti)< Kamal browa< through my fdes and then topped at the grade sheet. "llmonm...S.48 overall, what happm<l" He look!into my C)'<" It wo right at this moment when I should have had my panic att.>ck.But I didn't this dme.I don't know why, but ever since I saw Ryan's plan l'ail, Alok jump o.nd Chcmn cry, the whok wide world didn't Intimidate me anymore. I ......,.-! up my font acmester, sir...I mean Kamal. And it Is really hard to come back in !IT if you miss the tlr1t time. "That is ""''Y mteruting.What happen! in the first"'"''"
Kamal aiel
"Don't know. Felt like enjoying college Ute a bit. I gut<> liT is not that type of college." I aiel. "Yes, I ITs are truly diiTerenL TeD me, do you like liT?"
Kamal aiel.
It was a load!queotion.A quettion no one had asked me before. l had thought I'd be quiek to say how I hated -cry living moment of it, but 00\lldn't. I remembered my flnt dy the day Ryan .. ,ed me from Baku and hit coke bottles. four yea.., and soon it would be time to lea.'< this place. Did llil<e it here?
''How was lt Alok 13id.

"Don't know Not too great I guess.They only k<about . my low grade&, and why I wanted to do this and all that," Ryan said. "So what did you say, I said.
"I don't kno"' There are things I'd ...thcr forget.But I met
my best frimds here,and hopefully thispbcewill get me a job," I soid. Kamollaugl>cd.I oookl oce him u one of the stu<knu ten yura ago.I wondered what hisGPA b.od been in his time. That
is the thing about liT, you sec people and you wonder what their GPA wos. You kind of need that to judge them. Sad. Kamol uked me a few more questions about why I wanted to join the ooftware sector. Hell, I'd kiss any sector that would give me a job. And this was my one chanoc. "It was very interesting tolking to you.That's all for now, Kamal aid as he csoortcd me out of the room. "lnt"""'ing ulking to you -I repeated the ph,..se three times in my head. Wh<lr ..,. r!Kot wf'P" Cd t.o """"' jusr o p<>llt< "'!r of lliJf"S f ""' wdnl and stood no chan<lll Or dl4 mJ putht<l< mum file real!f charm him? \\\: waited another hour for the resulu. And that is when I realized tl10t for oooe my luc:k might ha..: turned for the better. "Hari, you and I have made it! You got an offer in Bomboy and I got Dtlhi," Alolr. said and tugged at my shirt. 1 hearne numb and couldn't aruwu him for the next (J,.., minutes. A crowd of studenu almoot crushed me in their rush to the notice board.I was lost in my thoughts. J a few days ago, I was planning to spend an extra year to oomplete live credits and oollect a tainted grade sheet. Now I had a way out. And I hd a job. "I didn't get it, Ryan Aid. ..Whatl .. That had to he a misUke. How ooukl Alok and I get job while Ryon not I
"What happened?" I ald. "I don'tFuck man, 1\0:-&x:k-Nck, Ryan sa.d as he walked away from ua. "Whae is he goingl" Alol< aid. "Idon't know, I aaid. For a oouple of momenta I forgot my own job. 1\pn had nor a job? He -tbt mod,., to'!fidtnt, smart one. Ht ..,. what f aiWVJI nt.ecl t.o 6<. So ht had almost rht k>wtst
II'"
grad. In rht lrurl. bur thlt It !/'<> "''"'' "\\\: got a job, Hari. Six grand a month." Alok said. "HuhI Ob, yuh." I said, outpcnding my oonccrn for Ryan &,. a while. "So,-'rc not just live-point somethings anymore, we arc live point -.ebodlet.
Alok spoke to his parents on the phone for two hOUI"S that night.1 think he read out the whole offer letter to them. His mother noted down the entire f*bge - basic sabry. tuvel allowance and of ooune, the much needed medical benefits. Alol< was thrilled. 1was stiUkind of ownb.Whm good things happen to you, you kind of reel there b eomething odd. Like this ooukl be a dream.That Kamal Dtsal of Technosoft will call me and uy it was all a bod joke. And then again, the job wu In Bomboy. "What is with you? You don't seem 10 excited," Alok said as 1got out of the phone booth. tam.Iam. But it is in Bomboy. What aboutl':lehal" laaid. "What about hcrl You'll still continue after IITI" Alok asked nai.dy. as If she had been part of my =ri<:ulum here. Wby not?"1 said, ploc:ing my lingen in the booth's grill
Alok ,hruggd his &houlden. It wu pointless Wklng to hw. He would bave .-.lhu ditc:u....l !he dental benefits !hat the job.,....... "\1/ht.., " I ..id. "I think he "'Cntlo the bb.He ..id he wanted to talk to
Prof to\,.. 1 Nid.
"What do you mean!" Ry>n aaid.
work'" raea.tdl. What it in a softwne job? You ore eontract bbour at "'-p prio<s for foreigners.
...mc.an you should
"I hope he finds JOmethlng.I think WI I& the other reuon why I an't be to fUlly excited," I Yid. "ll's bard for him. lie b only 5.01, .>nd the bst in duo. It is diiT"ICUit for hw 10 get pbo<d," Alok ..id. "But he os so smart. I mean, the lube project is ba&inlly aU hi.," I..ld. cPAl manor," Alok ..id .>nd walked away. Ryan did not &<' a job for anolhu month.Our oemester oped by really fast, especiaUy slnee we were so busy trpng to meet our neJ. Ryan kept applying to companies, but he only 1 ge< cwo more interviews. The bst 'C.I'f in the ct..salwa)" found it hardest 10 g<1 a job. For!hat matter, if Kamal Desai was not in1o honcity appreciation that day, 1 might h.ave been ln Ryo\n '1
situation.
Ryan, you really thlnk you wiD be happy there " "I would be," Alok taid. "I am osl<ing Ry>n. You guyo ore friends, but you all could want different thing> you Prof '*<n JOid. "Uke "bat! What eh< ean I dol" oaid. "\ ld )"OU llke to worit as my RAI" Prof \l-<n Aid. "1\eoearch Asilitant.l c:ao get you a r contraa. Will not pay a k)t, aay two thousand a month. But you livt on campus.. and you Qln continue: reoeorch on lubrieanu. 1 - 'a r.c... The Rs 2000-number was writ Iorge on his C...; a third ol "i>at our jobs ,...ould p>y UJ, \\buld Ryan be able to """"Pt !hat? "It is an idea,.. he aid evcntua.ll)t It is a tldea. And If we Gnd an inveotor who is wiUing 10eonunerdal >t your pr<><b:t, who b-.how IUClCU5Nl you can be;Prof \\:era JOid. Ryan looked at me.SonKhoW. I felt he wanted me to make a decision for him.I thought about it Je.. !han I should bave,
"'..,..>..
You gu)" an't lo<e heart. Ryan. you mUJt keep trying. Ptof \l-<n cxhoned as we 6IOOd in the bb. nmningatfuilbWc."JJcby'nw<ture bad an un........ny bad smdl, Slinking up the "nolo bb. I kind of wished thl was not the OJ>tlmal mix for our final lubricant. "I can't Ptof 'ken. It iJ not going to work." Ryan Ald. looklnc at the uhoust fumu coming out ol the "()( . it will But I do fed you are made for bette< thing> than a run-of-the miD ooftwore job," Prof \l-<n ..;d.
..,._engine....
. but ""' my ..._.. "I think )"OU ,....n be happy doing this, And lam sun: you will And an Investor for it one day. I ..id. "I project the market for this produa at atleAil ten crorc. You'll t roy>lty o( I don't know, aay ten or COUtK, ;f-find someone w1.o nvau1n the r.ctory r...t. Prof'*<n Yid. "I'll do It," smiled, "I am your IV., sir. "Yes!" I ,.ld and hlfived him.
p<""'" '
"I guess all of us are officially employed," Alok said, "can

we party now?,.
"Of course, you should. But go \ffra ..Ud but he was grinning.
easy on the vodka," Prof
27
five Point oomeone
lr
WAS nm CONVOCATION DAY, OFFICIAUl' OU[\ l.AST DAY
at liT. 'M:'d struggled unto the end, but had ftnally made it! 'M: had passed all our Snal semester courses, fanished our lab work and had all secured some sort of a job. It is the least any IITian can ex pea in four years, but to us it was nothing short of a miracle.I had hardly spoken to Neha in the past few weeks. I called once after I got the job, and she cried because (a) she was so happy for me and (b) because it was in Bombay. It is not easy to llgure out bow girls cry for two different reasons at the same time. But I didn't push her mueb. She also said it was best we didn't meet for a whi.le, lest Cberian llnd out and flare up again. Frankly, that was fine with me (even though I made a big fuss) with all these damn courses. I had not seen Cheran after that day in his office when he was stoned enough to pardon me. But today. I would see him again. After all, the
'l60
rM:DoW. !
::
head of the department makes a speech to the pauing-out batch.We were port of the passing-out boteb and that was celebration in itsd Alok, Ryan and I wore our gndoation robes. As usual, Ryan looked the best."Iam not sitting in front. You can't fallas p in front," I protested, as ""' reached the con\'OC:Otion baU. "No, it is out l.ut day. Iwant to see "''Crything," Alok
insi1ted.
"Thenyout gbSJCS foxed," Rn Aid. Alok inslsted on s.itting in the Ant row and ''-e sa.t down facing the podiutn. We looked back at the guests' gallery. n..t Is my mom and didi in the aUk:.Sec O.d is there, too." Alok .aid as he waved at a wheelchair. "Your parents are here too, right?" I Aid to Rn. "Yes, they 1\c:w in last night. I told them not to come. but they did. Sec, the.re they are in the third row," Ryan pointed out with quiet pride. 'Yes, there they were, along with the parents of three hundred students. The huge convocation hall held them all, the whole iruandy proud lt>L I saw Neha.She bad come with her father, and At primly with other faculty families.I waved to her and ten other profs waved baelt. "Sit down Hari. It is about to begin. Alol. pulkd ""' down. Prof Chcrian took the stage, aU the waving and murmurs ceased, nd the con,..,..tion hall beame alk:nt u tomb. "Good morning. As bead of the Mechanical Engineering department Iwelcome ne to this convocation Cleren>OB)' Todoy we are proud to give 1 new botch of the brightest
mechanical engineers to this country. I give this speech every year, and 1 have done oo for ten years now," Prof Cherbn said and ......... to ba"" a up of mineral water. "Ten ye.,..l Thisguy'sreally been around," Alok whispered. "To tonnent class after class," Rn supplied. "Shh!" I ..id. "An<I<'YffY year I make 1 similar speech. congntubting our best >t.u<lnt> ond talking about how they should continue to ach.....- in IlK' future. In fact, I make the speech by looking >t what 1 ..i.J la<t ar. HOW<YU, this I m going to do somthing cliiT"'nt.ln fact,I don't even have a written speech. IjUS< want to trD you a story." A murmur threoded through the crowd. No one expected Ch<riau tu tcll .,ories. Announce the toppers, wish everyone tbe l...u an<l clo""' it. What wu going onl ...Out.'\ u1MJn a time re was1.-tudent in liT. He was w:ry bri!l.ht, .u 111 tho< is true, his GPA was 10 .00 fter four years. Hclicln'l '"'"' a lot of friend., as tO keep web a high GPA, you nnly 1,..,,.. ''" much tome fot'S. 'llw <'I'H<VII clutifully chuckled. ttut hr chcl hove classmates. Cbssmata who this brigbt boy thnclj.,oht W\'lt' leu smut than hJm, classmates who were selll.h an<l wlll<'<to make the mott money or go to the USA Wllh minirn11111 C'ilOrt. And the dosvnates didcx.>ctly that.They went to work for multinotionals ancloome went abroad. Some of them ., thdr own com nles in the USA - mostly in 1 computt'nl and software.This was twenty years ago mind you, 10 romput<"-1'1 \\"t".re a very oew thing ."' l'rof Chc-rt.n paused again for water. What Is his point1" Alok aid.
,.,.,e.J
"Idon't know. I told you not to >it in the front row. W..
can't even sleep now. Ryan said. "But the bright boy ouyed behind. Beauhe had principleo. He did not wont to we his education for oclfish penomJ gain. He wanted to help tbe COUDtf)< He wanted to do and he myed b..dt at liT. Of coune, ring a project apprcwed in liT is harder than in nting tbe telephone, Prof O.erian oaid as the foculty in the audience smiled. "So our bright boy wao disappointed.He stiU kept trying but rt from being a Profeosor, there isn't much one could achie-'e here. Ten years passed, when his friends from college visited home. One of them had a GPA of seven point something, and he had hi1 own software company. The turnover had reached two hundred million dollan. Another friend wos hooding a toothpaste MNC, and carD!' in a BMW Of course, this didn't bother the principled bright l'>o)t Or so he thought. "As you guc:ued, that bright boy was me. And at that time I thought it didn't matter if others had .chimore persorWly. I wos ruU tbe one with tbe better GPA, the smarter one, tbe brighter one.Someho"' on that day.I decided my son must get into liT I wanted him to carry on my family's strong . intellectual tradition.Strong intellectual tradition- that is what I called it. But it was just my big ego. My son wanted to be a lawy.:r, hated maths. 1 hated him for hating maths. 1 pushed him just as I pushed students in my dass. He failed to get In the farst time and I made life hell for him. He foUed a nd time and 1 made his lile an even bigger bdl. Then he failed to in the third time. And this time, he ltiUed himself."
The crowd gasped. Students and even aome of the faculty members started whiJperinc. "You .U know that I ha"' a daughter.But I abo had son, who died in a rail track occident r..., yean ago. lit that time, we thought it wos an accident. But this..<l>erion uid
..he
pulled out Samir's letter, "is my son's letter I only few .-Its ago. He wrote this to my daughter on the day he died. He killed hirruclf because he did not Into liT He killed . himself because of me, Cherian ..id and iuted for a long time. He .-.moved his and wiped hio eyes. The audience was 1ilent enough to hear Cherian's mild sobs. "He is crying," Ryan oaid. "1 told you. This is nothing comired to... I stopped as Cherian began again. "I am sorry eU)'One for bringing up this Ad story on your spcdol do)< I told myaelf that II I ad.mlt to my mlstalte publicly. perhamy ""'wiD forgime.And I wanted to thank the one ltudent in this do.. becauae of who I found out the truth. It is my daughter' boyfriendHari.And he is here oitting right in the front "\\Owl!Jolt and Ryan said in unison. All eyes turned to me. I have been so embarrassed In my life.This is not the limelight one wonts.I wished he'd just on from here, but he didn't. "let me tell you something about this boy Hari and his friends Alok and Ryan. They are the under-performers.That is what I used to ..Ustudents with low GPAs.And they do ha low GPA-6.., point something is lo"' rightI"O.erian asked in a jestfu1 manner.
"My daughter found it easier to trust Hari with the letter. She defied me, lied to me and ignored me just to meet him. Somewhere down the line, this perfect ten-GPA Professor standing in front of you had gone wrong. ReaDy wrong." I sat back, listening to Cherian careful )< I kind of felt sad and for the first time felt he just may have a heart. ':And that is when I realized that GPAs make a good student, but not a good person. We judge people here by their GPA. If you are a nine, you are the best. If you are a five, you arc useless.I used to despise the low GPAs so much that when Ryan submitted a re-reh proposal on lubricants, I judged it without even reading it. But these boys have something really promising. Isaw the proposal the .econd time. I can tell you,
any investor who invests in this
"And lastly. don't take yourself too seriously.We professors are to be blamed even more for this. Ufe is too short, enjoy yourself to the fullest. One of the best parts of campus life is the friends you make. And make sure you make them for life. Yes, I have heard the stories. Sometimes I wish I had had a friend, even if that meant a lower GPA.It must he good to have vodka on top of the institute roof at night." . Cherian got a standing ovation. The applause got louder, in faait was right under my ears, on my shoulder.
will
earn a rainbow."
"Did you hear that Haril" Ryan said. I nodded . "Anyway. this i my message to all you students aJ you find your future. One, believe jn yourself, and don't let a GPA, performance review or promotion in a job define you.There is more to life than these things - your family. your friends, your internal desires and goals. And the grades you get in dealing with each of these are>J wiU define you as a person. "Two, don't judge others too quickly. Ithought my son wu useless because he didn't get into liT. I teU you whot, I was a useless father. It is great to get into liT, but it is not the end of the world if you don't. All of you should he proud to have th.liT tag, but never ever judge anyone who is not from this
institute - that alone can define the greatness of this institute...
"Wake up you lazy bozo," Ryan aaid, clapping my shoulder so hard my dream paused and faded out likea defective videotape. "WhatI" I rubbed my eyes. "Yes, it is me. So teU me Mr Hari,how does it feel to miss your convocation after you make all thisdfort to get into liT." That was Ryan's cocky voice all right. "What thr...what time is it?" I craned my neck to look at the alarm clock. It said seven a.m. clearly in contrat t.o the
sun outside.
The crowd responded with wild applause.
"looks like your clock has also had enough or this place. It is pot d -.cn. Both of UJ slept through our convoc.rion." Ryan ""id wryl)' I got out orbed and went outside to the balcony; the hostel wu empty. Damn, I had slept throughgraduation day.'M>rse, Cherian had not reaDy cried. "Fuckl " I said, borrowing Ryan's vocabulary. "fuck. Does thN mean they'll not give UJ the degree/"
"Of coune they w\U. Just mean.s we weren't there when the res.t of the clua shook hands with Cherion and porenu applauded. I wonckred if' it made sense to brush my teeth or eot at Sui's 6nt. "Sui's!" Ryan read my mind. Mon, four yean of freoldng crazine.s to get a degree, and when the time came to collect. Ryan and I sat in our pajamas circling our ponnthas with dobs of butter.I really don't d.,..,rve th.is degree! "Hari, you know Dd said he wants to invest in the lubricant projcet. lie is in touch with Prof ra."Ryan sold as Sasi looked at us slyly. Even he knew we should have been
at the convocation.
"That is great. "It'scrap.I told them I don't want their money," Ryonsaid. "1\re you an idiot " "And then guess what they said! hey said they thought I T would be okoy beeawe of that letter," Ryan said. "Wbot letter!" I said, struggling to keep a stnight aa,. "This letter," Ryan said and took out a fat envelope, "and guess what I noti<led on the cover!" Yep, there it was. The thiny bucks of postage that I put on it was stamped all over. so you wrotto themI" I said, still appearing c..ual as I could. "Okoy Mr llarl, will you give it up. You made oll the effort of typing the dmn thing. oould you at least have been coreful while writing the addreJSI This scrawny handwriting of yours is a dead givcawy." Ryan ..id.
"WhatI" I said. Crap, I should have thought of that. Ryan got up and mock punched me severol timeover."You ass, when did you become so ltlltil" he said u I wriggled my way oot of his puncba. W. burst out bughing. I looked into his eyes. He wasnt mad, moybe cw:n a bit gbd. But that ' changed fast into terioul cxpr<Uon.. Yes, Ryan will ocYer admit to wanting this. "You sbouldn 't have," he aald. "Ob well, I must have been drunk that day. And I do think your parents a.re nice. Anywoy, It is a good projcet. Your dad will probably make money out of lt." The big picture, that's what I should focuson, not1poil thing with paltry confidences on letter-writing. "I am lUre he w\U. Prof \Ioera .ccepted his funding. "Profknows what he 11doing. I said wise!)< "When the bell will Alolr. come bockl Do you think we missed muchI" "All oomoo are the aame. rian gk-cs mccWs to nine pointerS. FM-pointers collect their degrees in the background like .,......, Ryan sbrucgecl. I saw a silhouette limping towards us from a distan. "Aiok!" I shouted. "You fuckcrs!Chomping paranthas while the country got another batch of engineer , Alok said. "Wbotcvcr Fatso, you want oneor not?" Ryan said, making the rare gesture of offering his plate. "Of coune I do. After all that Cherianspeak for an bou.r," Alolt said, puttingout his tongue to indicate extreme exhaustion. "Where are the parents?" Ryan said. .. "Invited to the faculty club for lunch. I came back looking for you," Alok said.
"Did O>cmn talk a lot? You know I wos draming of

him, I uid.
t wiU. We are meeting tontght," I soid ca....U,. "Doc: Cherlan know?" Alok oald
"I don't think so." I said. He may have relented here and there, but me and Ncha together wos still no-no. "And what obout w?" Ryan oak!. We looked at cxh other. HeU, this wos going to be hard. Why IJ11 that when the bad things about liT oome to an end, the good things end as wdl.It sucl<. to leave the hostd, to not be oblc to oce your liicnds every day. "We'U be fnends. for fuc:king fotcYU and ever," I -owed Almily and got up to give a group hug. "Enough guys, this is a decent establishment," Ryan s.id and we sat back, laughing an embarrassed laugh. That wu the lost time we were together at liT After that, . our lives dwtged. But I don't reaUy want to get into aU that. This it an liT book after all. And Ididn't know what would happen between Neha and me. I mean 1 could teU you now what bappenecl, but I dont really want to go tnto .U that either. Yes, that night we met and said we loved cad. ot.herand other 13ppy stuff. And we talked about procti<:al things like how to stay in toudt And we promioed 10 keep meeting (OtC\er and .,. . . . But (......., Is a long time you know, .--.... longer than the four )'Cars at liT. A lot can happen between 00\Y and forever, and it 'viU - It I just not something we have to talk about in this book. The convocation w.u over. Our bags were packed. and that wu the lost time the three of us were together in liT Alok .u.rted his job in Ddbl, and with no Ryan and me to bother him, totally immeroed himself in it. As result, his software oompany sent him to the US for six months. The US
"Really? And Itltought you only dreamt of his daughter wearing nothing, Ryan tea.se<!. "Shut up. I rumed to Alok. "So what did he say?" "Nothing. Just the wne llTions-arethe-best crap.Though he did mention one thing," Alok sold. "What?" Ryan and I cried in unison. "That we noed to look t the ')"t<m. Sometlmn the prusure is too mud!. Something about lcsocr tellS and more projecu etc. Didn't really follow it - Iwas doting ofTa bit you know, Alok said "You uck mon," Ryan said, subsiding back into hi.s seat. "Yeah right.At lust I made it on my lost day of IIT, Alok said virtuously. Lim tlaf, Alok's words resonated in my mind . Man, how we had waited for this to get over. And flnally it had. Maybe not In otylc, maybe not with sunding ov.>tions or medals, but in our pa jamas and eating paronthu at a street-side vendor, we had made it. Y the three of us were liT graduates. Not the es, ones that would mnkc it to the cover of nme mogaUne. bul ot least we could be ailed survivors "Yes, it wos over!" I tried teUing myself - but at one level, it fdt sad. "It really is 0\'Cr then, eh?" Ryan echoed my thoughts. "Yes it is. Time to enter the real world - as they said at the: convo," Alok said, showing ofT. I wish I had never met Ncha. Separating from her would hurt. "Have you talked to Neha?" Ryan asked, unannily reading my mind.
assignment earned tum a dollar stipend that in one strOke wiped out his fmily woca. A spanlcing new car arrived at the Gupw, and l was tempted 10 coNider marrying his sister. Alok's father got a full-lime nun<:, and his mother I considering bving her job to do private tuition$. I think abe needs 10 keep a job just to keep sone, but wbo listena 10 me 7 Ryan worked with 1'11>f ra, and with all that ash from his dod, iJ inveoting in a factory about two bours from Delhi. Local vilbgcn from nearby have bec:n hired for construction, including some women. Sick butard that he is, be often goes there to cheek them out. I think be f'anciet someone called Roopkunwar .nore tha.n the others - and l think there is disaster wailing to happen. Iwent ofT to Bombay and, like most responsibiliti<-< in my Ufe, hated it. 1 Qn't live in cramped cities, ;and I can't stay awl.y from Neha. In the Grst three months, half of my sabry went in rent for a pigeonhole in the Siberi<ln end of town.The other hal( went moot1y in phone calls to Neha. God, I miued her - her hair, her bug!>.her eyes. her holding my hand and e>uything else. Sure, I missed Ryan and Alok as wdl, but it was not the IITDt. I pined for Neha. She ftnished her fashion design course and had an offer to work for a local designer.I think .be is trying to Gnd something here in Bombay. It 1hould work out, gi>-en thiJ .city is so fashion craty. Meanwhile, next month I am going to Delhi for Alok'a didi's wedding. All of us will be there -Alok, Ryan, Neha and me. And that is what b keeping me going for now. You know, it u strange, I might have paued out of liT, but in oome waya, my soul is still there.Maybe in the hostd corridora, or at Sasi'1. or at the insti roof...
ONE NIGHT 0 THE CALL CENTER The new .,.._IJer from ttle
-rd-lnnlns author In the winter of 200-4, a writer met a young girl onovernight
train journey. To pass the time, she offered to tell him a story.However, she had one eor>ditlon:that he make it into his second book. He hesitated, but asked What the story was about. The girl said the story was about slpeople worldng in a call center,set in one night. She said It was the night they had got a phone call. That phone call was from God. Welcome to one night 0 the call center, another contemporary novel from the ewardwlnnlng author of the national bestseller Five Point Someone. Are you ready to take the Call?

Five Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat

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Five Point Someone by Chetan Bhagat

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the national bestseller - soon to be a major film by director rltesh sinha

five pQint om one

'A pe1fecf-ien - this is 270 pages ,of pur4 fun.

five Poinl6omcone Whal fl<." l lo do al liT

File Point Someon<' could achic'c < ult !.tatu\.'

five Point 0omeone

un .1 lu11 flll<'d trip to In:

/IT, my c1ln7a JJJiltCr

Ackno1cdeement:. '"' Prologue

134 137 148 160 165

203 213 216 220 224 236 246

a book that one

Mr Rill Gates and 1cro oft

people on earth ,ou

portly frame was covered

flex hi:. mu,dlJnd

lll.lkcwarrior po:,e-.. I am ...ure hllookcd photog ..nk. but di,Jn't

" t:,k a wild gue5:,," he 'IJid as he dangcd the bottk'>

I ace turning hard(:r, a nm. st ill in modelling pose, R Jn

"l ,\ C-11-1-N-1 ," th t hl.1tkhoard proclaimed in big hold

The c.laremainc.:d siknt

\\c wert buy canning our

off for snack any ghen day.

.md sweat bursts out in bucket .

machine. l could ha"c attempted an answer, or at

hast a siiJv 'Idon't know' but it'as if my mouth was AWOL.

"Stra ge," surmi c;ed Prof Dubey dubiou.,Jy a <; he moncl to

place. One in hundred b not good enough for them," R)Jn

will be no oyster, jut

Five Point Someone : Chapter 2

14 five Point &:>1""-"'c

"And we hm: the Quanto assignment to finish as well," I

I to kuowi Anyway, why arc ynu tJking arbit

aw ke and ewn Alok's eyes had started watering.

"Five? I got a lh-e out of twenty," I said to Alok, who

J>rof Sen \\TOte the cu toman summan scor"' em the . blackboml.

enrythiug tasted the $ame, we could at least h ve some \'<'lridy

"Oh 1"<-ally. We are scrcw.,<i, no damn doubt in that," Alok

llarcfool oo lctl '15

HI:. QUIZ MISIIAf> REINVIGOJMTEP OUR COMM!TME T

"Oka, then," he ighcd one day, stapling hts asstgnment.

pcrpl xcd. . lake a wild gues>,Ryan said, tossing his asstgnmcnt

a silly way, which waprobably her attempt to run toward

111e. I noticed she was brefoot.

'Ul Five P..;nt 6ocncone

wringing her h nds.

silly at the sight of those two bare-

She apologi1.ed again when we came near Kuniaon, and

"So what the hell is \vrong then?"I was irritated. r seriously

\\11cn they went owrscas. They wcren't making any big

xct hut '.'anted to keep sonny boy happy. this

But then, it was at boarding school Igot

don't k'l\'e my parents."

"\Vl1at?" lsaid, though I had not wanted to be

me up. He had to,

chicKen lw just at<' 'peaking from within.

l.inc Druwln0 43 42 tive inl &<lococte

the shopkeeper looked at me like I was a regular

talking to boys and he

"We li'-e here!"

have no choice but to '<lear

"Still, I like chivalrous men," she said, repacking her bag