Importance of Early Islamic Foundations & Good Parenting Children are a blessing from Allah, and add beauty

and love to our lives. The desire of being a parent can be easily fulfilled, but nevertheless necessitates an abundance of fulfilling rights and responsibilities. The day a child is born the role of parents increases in responsibility and requires ultimate devotion to provide adequate resources to meet the developmental needs of the child and to safeguard the welfare and wellbeing of a child. A childs adequate early childhood depends upon a number of factors that influence his personal characteristics to enter adulthood successfully. Some of these factors include parents, extended family, academic educational settings, culture and community. The Childrens Act 1989 acknowledging the child welfare as paramount, entitles parents to possess parental responsibility under legislation. The term Parental responsibility confers to the parent a duty of care to raise a child to moral, physical and emotional well-being (Department Of Health, 1989 cited in Flynn & Starns, 2004:31). Children are often mirrors of their own parents and environments. They absorb their surroundings and become a product of their experiences. The parents have the right and indeed must exercise the right of controlling and filtering continuously this environment and ensure the childrens cognitively development is stable according to their age and stage, as emphasized by Piagets Theory of cognitive development; Cognitive development occurs in stages that are related to the maturation of the child. Each of these stages involves a qualitative change that makes it different from the preceding one (Piaget cited in Mac-Leod Brudenell, 2004: 141). Lev Vygotsky (cited in Mac-Leod Brudenell, 2004:154), on the other hand believes that children learn by watching people model behaviours. He thought that social interactions with more competent others allow the child to require the necessary tools for thinking and learning, increasing their potential zone of proximal development. Childrens personal traits (nature) can be enhanced by the provision of adequate nurturing scaffolding through positive role models, resources and surroundings for the holistic development and well being of the child. All children born in this world are Muslims, but it is the ultimate environment and parental religious views that makes us follow different religions. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the parents to give birth to their child in such an environment that the naturally endowed instinct of Religion in him is properly nourished. The day a child comes into this world, he is attached towards the Power that will provide him his needs. But the child will not have his understanding developed to an extent to express anything about the Focus of its attention. The Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) more or less states that a child will grow up on the religion/way (deen) of his parents as they are the strongest influences over him. Al-Bukhaari reports from the hadeeth of Abu Hurayrah (radiyallaahu anhu) that the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: There is no child born except in the state of fitrah (pristine disposition, natural state of Islaam) then his parents make him Jewish or Christian or Magian. Likewise, the animal gives birth to a fully formed calf. Do you see in it the least disfigurement?" Then Abu Huraryrah recited (what means): The fitrah of Allaah upon which He has created [all] people. [30:30]. Allah (SWT) places a unique duty on the parents throughout the Quran and highlights the rights and responsibilities of the children over parents. By following the Quran we would provide the precise environment for adequate development. The sunnah of our Holy Prophet (PBUH) also lights the importance of good parenting and good role-models. Parents should therefore try to follow the sunnah carefully in the hope that Allaah will bless the child and protect him from (all) harm. The first sunnah acts to call the athaan;, doing tahneek in the newborns ear, giving the child a good name, circumcising the child and doing the aqeeqah, will be beneficial for the effective upbringing of the child.

Parents should be on their best behavior from the outset. They must be regular with their (five daily) prayers, avoid foul language, remember Allah regularly, recite Quran and surround their child with a healthy physical, intellectual, social and emotional environment. Small and un----acts and attitudes of the parents in their everyday lives can create false foundations and inadequate characteristics in a childs personality. Minute sins should be nipped in the bud for the avoidance of major sins in the future. The use of abusive language, tone, hatred, jealousy, envy and many other negative traits should be identified early and strategies should be developed for reducing the intensity. Occasionally parents override small thefts, such as when a child steals something from a birthday party, and minor lies such as if you do this I will give you that and thereafter not fulfilling their own promise sends diverse messages to the child. The virtue of fulfilling promises is subsequently reminded to us by Allah in the Holy Quran: They fulfill the promises they make. (Al-Baqarah 2:177) On fulfilling the promises and fairness in business, the Holy Qur-aan further instructs: Fulfill promises, because you will be held accountable for promises. Measure fully when you measure and weigh with a right balance (accurately). That is the most fitting and the best in the end. (Banee-Israaeel 17:34-35) Positive personal traits and habits should be encouraged from a very young age, because the children are in a stage of constant adoption and imitation through their parents, carers, family members and teachers. The child may have potential abilities which, if not evoked and nurtured during these years (childhood), may develop later or never (Erikson 1959, cited in Thomas 1990 p. 144). Parents should act as positive role-models for the enforcement of positive personal traits, such as honesty, belief and faith in Allah (Tawheed), truthfulness, punctuality, kindness towards people, plants, animals and the environment. Modesty and humbleness is another important characteristic of a good muslim as emphasized "Modesty is part of faith" (Bukhari and Muslim). The "Blessed is he who earns his living through lawful ways and he whose inward status is good, outward is decent; spends his surplus wealth in charity; abstains from excessive talking; people remain safe of (any) evil from him; he treats others with justice. Surely whoever believes in Allah fears Him, and whoever fears Allah guards himself against the evils of this world."All of these important characteristics when provided in early childhood and a young adolescent will develop a confident, hardworking, brave, honest, modest, secure and an ideal personality. Communication is also a vital tool for achieving good child-parental relationships, which at large will develop the sense of security, love , self-esteem and security within and around the child, enhancing his holistic well being and welfare. The role played by the extended family is also profound in nature. Grandparents and relatives of the child should also be perfective role-models in their behavior and traits. The love and respect of the parents towards their relationships with their own parents and siblings lay clear the early foundations and advantages of good relationship building. Concurrently, if the behavior practiced and encouraged at home is insufficient, the children will not practice adequate relationships with others, decreasing their self-esteem and social skills. The cultural context and family background is also a vital component in the development of ones traits. Parents should make sure that the surroundings and environment in which a child develops is adequately provided with positive learning experiences through enabling environments. The parents should perform Salat, fear Allah (SWT), be modest, pray Zakah and fast in the month of Ramadhan continually, encouraging children to learn and practice all these pillars according to the teachings of Allah (SWT). Children who are brought up in a practicing environment tend to attain religious understanding and knowledge at a very early stage.

Children should be encouraged to make minor contributions for the saving of environment. Wasting water and food and excessive provision of clothes, toys and accessories should be avoided and modesty in all aspects of life should be encouraged. All of these characteristics, if practiced and preached properly will encourage the child to be friendly and caring towards the environment. Parents are responsible for the provision of basic necessities, needs and requirements of the child. As emphasized in the following Hadith: Ibn Umar (radiyallaahu anhu) reports that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) say: All of you are (like) shepherds and all of you will be asked about their flock (i.e. are responsible for them). The Imam (leader) is the shepherd of his subjects and he is responsible. A man is the shepherd for the people of his home and he is responsible (will be asked about them). A woman is the shepherd of the home of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is (like) a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock. (Agreed upon). As the Prophet (sallahualayhi wa sallam) said whoever starts a good thing and is followed by others, will have his own reward and a reward equal to that of those who follow him, without it detracting from their reward in any way. Whoever starts a bad thing and is followed by others, will bear the burden of his own sin and a burden equal to that of those who follow him, without it detracting from their burden in any way (Reported by at Tirmidhi who said it was a saheeh hasan hadeeth). Teachers and friends are also of utmost importance in the Islamic upbringing of the child. Children consider teachers to be their role-models and try to imitate them through gestures and actions, in their everyday lives. Therefore it is important for teachers to teach and portrait themselves in an Islamic way. The friends around a child also mould and mirror the personal characteristics of a child. The nature of children is like a plain paper. Whatever is imprinted on it initially, will remain forever. Therefore it is important to create good images on this clean and pure page. Whatever habit, good or evil is inculcated in childhood remains inert for life. These early years are extremely important and as a parent you need to make certain that your child has a solid foundation to build upon. In summary the major influences on a childs identity, as emphasized by Dr. S.A. Kobeisy, are fitrah, family, society and ones personal will. Success and ultimate salvation only lies in following Allahs commands, in fearing Him alone, therefore it is important to raise our children to the best of our abilities, to be leaders of this Ummah, to be of those who are indeed mindful and thankful towards the Most High. The responsibility of our future generations lies solely in Allahs hands and then the adequate, Islamic and effective upbringing throughout ones development, by parents and physical and environmental resources.

Teach your children how to pray at the age of seven, discipline them at the age of 10, and separate between them in beds (Abu Dawud 3/343 & At -Tirmithi 2/259 )
Having to teach the children should be a drive in of itself; in order to teach, the parent themselves must have the required knowledge and indeed this is a pre-requisite of this religion. All parents must reflect on the way, in which they are raising their children, the state of Muslim children is indeed indicative upon the parenting they are receiving. Much time and effort is required in this area, and we beseech The Most High for ease. May Allah forgive us all, and enable us to be the kind of parents this deen demands of us. "Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established." (Ibrahim, 41) In the following ahaadeeth the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) draws our attention to the great responsibility of bringing our children up correctly. Ibn Umar (radiyallaahu anhu) reports that he heard the Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) say: All of you are (like) shepherds and all of you will be asked about their flock (i.e. are responsible for them). The Imam (leader) is the shepherd of his subjects and he is responsible. A man is the shepherd for the people of his home and he is responsible (will be asked about them). A woman is the shepherd of the home of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is (like) a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock. Agreed upon Allaah has ordered parents to raise their children well and placed this huge responsibility on their shoulders for He says (what means): O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allaah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded. [66:6] So for a parent to neglect teaching their child(ren) that which is beneficial is indeed a great wrong. Most children are corrupted due to their parents shortcomings in raising them well (and neglect in teaching them their religious responsibilities and duties). O parent, understand well that raising your child upon the true religion (al Islaam) in accordance with the Quraan and Sunnah is your duty and the right of the child; it is not a favour you extend to the child! Allaah will ask you about how you raised your child and what you taught him. That is why the Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) guided men to selecting righteous women for wives and women to selecting righteous men as husbands. Clearly, one who has good religious commitment (piety/righteousness) will better understand the responsibility that lies on their shoulders and will strive to fulfill the duty of parenthood in a manner that pleases Allaah. A home built on taqwaa (piety) is the best home.

Learning Log No.1

Name: Sarah Shaikh Description 1. This week I worked on: Programme & Level: Learning To Be A Peacemaker Date:

2. Time Spent on above work:

Reflection 3. Explain how you did the work listed in section 1:

4. Explain why you worked in the manner described above:

5. Think about and write down what you have found out/learned from your actions this week:

Carry Forward 6. Highlight any questions, problems, tentative conclusions to follow up on next week or later.

Learning Log No.2

Name: Sarah Shaikh Description 1. This week I worked on: Programme & Level: Learning To Be A Peacemaker Date:

2. Time Spent on above work:

Reflection 3. Explain how you did the work listed in section 1:

4. Explain why you worked in the manner described above:

5. Think about and write down what you have found out/learned from your actions this week:

Carry Forward 6. Highlight any questions, problems, tentative conclusions to follow up on next week or later.

Learning Log No.3

Name: Sarah Shaikh Description 1. This week I worked on:

Programme & Level: Learning To Be A Peacemaker

Date:

2. Time Spent on above work:

Reflection 3. Explain how you did the work listed in section 1:

4. Explain why you worked in the manner described above:

5. Think about and write down what you have found out/learned from your actions this week:

Carry Forward 6. Highlight any questions, problems, tentative conclusions to follow up on next week or later.