Marisa Pond Calderwood was raised devoutly LDS in Bellevue, Washington. She was deeply committed to the church as a teen, but she also excelled in school and dreamed of obtaining a Ph.D. in Genetics. After receiving the prestigious Gordon B. Hinckley scholarship at BYU, she married Carson Calderwood after her freshman year. Although she remained devoutly LDS for well over decade, Marisa struggled with feeling like she lost herself and her dreams once she married Carson, especially after going through the LDS temple and receiving the impression that women were less than men in the LDS church. Over the next several years Marisa had four children with Carson, but she also began having chronic headaches, and sinking deeper and deeper into depression. Finally, once Marisa began to allow herself to consider the possibility that the LDS church might not be true, she began feeling better about herself, her headaches subsided, and she and Carson found a happiness and an authenticity in their marriage that they never knew before. Today Marisa and her husband Carson are being threatened with excommunication for speaking openly about their doubts and disbelief. They expect to receive their summons to a disciplinary council within the coming week. This is Marisa's story.