7 Habits of Highly Effective People in Life

HABIT I
Be Proactive: Individuals are responsible for their own choices and have the freedom to choose
Most People are REACTIVE and NOT PROACTIVE

REACTIVE (-)
Reactive people respond to stimuli without thinking or controlling their reactions. They react based on their feelings or other circumstances of the moment. There is no space between the stimulus and their response

PROACTIVE (+)
Proactive people stop long enough to allow themselves the freedom to choose a response that agrees with their personal values and goals.

Comparison
Reactive
1. Get angry and say things you regret

Proactive
1. Remain calm and think of alternatives 2. Focus on solutions to the situation instead of problems

2. Blame others

Comparison
Reactive
1. Whine and Complain

Proactive
1. Celebrate choices

2. Feel like victims

2. Take responsibility for creating the best environment for you

Language
Reactive 1. If only he would 2. He makes me so angry 3. Why dont you change? 4. Theres nothing I can do Proactive 1. I helped cause this by 2. Ill find a solution that works 3. Im responsible 4. Lets look at all the options

Gaining Control
Define your Circle of Influence and your Circle of Concern (2 Different Circles)
Proactive people work within their circle of Influence to affect things around them. Reactive people focus on things they cant control- things in their Circle of Concernwhich gives them less influence on the things that are important to them.

Concern vs Influence
CONCERN INFLUENCE 1. A friend is getting 1. Successfully well. completing your project 2. Increasing Healthcare Costs 2. Committing to understanding and educating yourself on insurance options 3. Your Personal 3. Choosing an apple Healthcare instead of a brownie

Thought
Its not what people do to us that hurts us. It is our response to what they do to us that hurts us

Explore Concern
In groups of five or six, make a list of 20 items you are concerned about in your life. Discuss these items among your group. The concerns can be any topic. You have 10 minutes

Explore Your Influence

Now look back at your list of Concerns and decide what influence you have over the items on the list and how you can control your actions , reactions, or realize if it is not in your circle of influence.. Circle just the ones you actually can control

Key Points to Ponder

You may not be able to choose everything that happens to you, but you can choose your attitude and reaction What are your strengths? What do you need to improve on? How can you apply what you have learned? Why do I want to change?

HABIT 2
Begin with the End in Mind : Mental creation precedes physical creation I can choose my own future and create a vision of it I create results mentally before beginning any activity

Habit 2 Begin w the End in Mind

Create and apply personal and organizational mission statements as constitutions for daily living Envision the desired results and important values to guide activities and behaviors

Habit 2
The best way to predict your future is to create it The best way to determine your end purpose and move in that direction is to look for answers to these questions: What am I all about? What makes life worth living? What will I do with my Life?

Habit 2

Control your own destiny or someone else will

H2 : Why is it so important to have a Plan?

The answer is simple- all things are created twice. First, is the mental blueprint or plan. Second, is the actual physical creation or work. A carefully considered plan gives you the mental blueprint needed to create the desired outcome.

Mental vs Physical
Mental Creation (Plan) Physical Creation (Work) 1. Performance of the 1. Script of a play Play 2. Verbal and Written 2. Performance of the Procedure Directions for a Procedure 3. Studying for the test 3. Knowing there is a test on Friday

 Many people gain a sense of who they are from the opinions and perceptions of the people around them. They allow circumstances , conditioning, and the social mirror to mold and form who they are and what they achieve.

 The most effective people, however, shape their own futures. Instead of letting other people or circumstances determine their destinies, they mentally plan and then physically create their own positive results. What they have in their mind shapes their future.

Script Your Future

List those things that are most important in your life If you were to do one thing at school what would have the most positive impact, what would it be? If you were to do one thing in your personal life that would have the most positive impact, what would it be? Who are the people who have influenced your life the most?

Project Your Life Forward

To help you think about what kind of person you would like to be, imagine youve lived a fulfilling and rewarding life and now it is your 90th birthday. Family, Friends, Co-Workers, and Neighbors have gathered in your honor to pay tribute to you. What do you think they would say?? Lets see on the next two slides

Tributes
Write a tribute you would like to receive from each person on the next slide answering the questions below: 1. What would each person say? 2. What difference have I made in each persons life? 3. What qualities or characteristics will I be remembered for? 4. What outstanding contribution would each person mention?

Tributes
Using the 4 questions from the previous slide, answer them according to what you would like the following people in your life to say: Spouse Son Daughter Co-Worker Best Friend

Forming a Mission Statement

What are my greatest moments of happiness and fulfillment? What are the activities of most worth to me in my personal life? What are my natural gifts, talents, strengths, and abilities? What am I motivated by, fascinated with, and passionate about? How can I best contribute to mankind?

Mission Statement
A mission statement is a powerful document that expresses your personal sense of purpose and meaning in life. It acts as a governing constitution by which you evaluate your decisions and choose your behavior. To create your mission statement, think about the people you admire, how youd like to be in a years time, and what kinds of things in your life you value most.

Examples
Our Family is great- as a family we want to love, laugh, teach, and learn. The Hubbert family is a TEAM. I want to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am. My mission is to live with integrity and to make a difference in the lives of others. I want my life to be about.. I am .. I will..

Habit Review
HABIT I: Be Proactive Goals HABIT II: Start with the End in Mind Mission Statement and Questions for Others

Habit 3: Put First Things First

Effectiveness requires balancing important relationships, roles, and activities Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least I focus on importance instead of urgency I fulfill my mission by achieving important goals in my key roles

H 3: Put First Things First

Focus on the truly important and say no to the unimportant Plan weekly and implement daily based on mission, roles, goals, and priorities The key is not to prioritize your schedule, but to schedule your priorities

H3: Put First Things First

Habit 3 helps you identify and act on the priorities in your life, including your relationships and the things that are most important to you Which activities support what matters most to you? How do I stay focused on what matters most?

 Time management is really a misnomer the challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves

Urgent vs Not Urgent

List 20 things that have come up or you had to do since you woke up this morning that you have had to deal with. Then identify them as Urgent or Not Urgent. Can you tell the difference ??

 The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are but tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

How do You Stay Focused?

Planning how you will spend your time helps you put first things first. If you plan with sincere effort, you will benefit from more inner peace, greater balance, and increased personal and professional productivity A tool such as your agenda reminds you to schedule your time around what is most important to you

To Do Lists
Schedule and write To Do Lists in your agenda. Make sure you keep first things first. Check off as you go and whatever you may miss, it becomes the first thing first the next day. Start using what works for you now

Review
Habit I: Be PROACTIVE Habit II: Begin With the End In Mind Habit III: Put First Things First

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Effective, long-term relationships require mutual benefit I seek the benefit of others as well as my own I get better results in my relationships by cooperating interdependently than by competing independently What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for others?

Habit 4 W/W
Balance courage and consideration in seeking mutual benefit Persist in looking for Win-Win outcomes despite past Win-Lose conditioning The Public Victory begins when you cooperate so that everyone wins. Habit 4 encourages cooperation by seeking mutual benefit-solutions that benefit everyone involved.

Questions for Habit 4

How do I balance my needs against someone elses needs? What choices help me create Win-Win situations? With a Win-Win solution, all parties feel good about the decision and feel committed to the action plan. Win-Win sees life as a cooperative, not a competitive arena.

Balance
Win-Lose(I Win, You Lose) = Thinking Win-lose is thinking competitively. A win means putting others down. Many people go into situations thinking , if I win, you lose. Lose-Win (A Doormat) = Thinking LoseWin is allowing others to win even when it means you lose. You say, I lose; you win. Go ahead, walk all over me. Step on me again, everyone else does. I probably deserve it.

Balance
Lose-Lose (The Downward Spiral) = LoseLose thinking is believing that if you go down, others must go down with you (revenge, self-justification, etc) Win-Win (Everyone Wins) = Thinking Win-Win is when your frame of mind and heart seeks the benefit of all. It is an attitude that says, I can win and so can you. Its not me or you; its all of us WE.

Balance
No Deal ( Agree to Disagree) = No Deal is an outcome where the people involved agree to disagree. They decide to move on without agreement. In some cases, they try Win-Win another time.

What is Your Mentality?

Abundance Mentality: People with an Abundance Mentality generally think theres a way for everyone to win. A losing perspective is based on scarcity. It takes courage to believe theres enough for everyone. Scarcity Mentality: Believing that there is not enough to go around. Less means less for me. Abundance Mentality: Believing that there is more than enough for everyone. More creates more.

Examples of More Creates More

Smiling Providing courtesy and services Recognizing and rewarding others Treating patients and others with kindness and respect Listening sincerely to co-workers Proactively suggesting improvements to policies and procedures

 Competition is healthy when it results in a greater good. However, in most cases in your personal lives and at work, choosing to compete lessens your motivation to cooperate to achieve solutions that each person can agree on fully. You must be courageous and considerate- you must be willing to speak up for yourself and be willing to listen to other points of view. How Does Win-Win correlate with your Circle of Influence?

What Choices Help Create Win Win?

EBA (Emotional Bank Account)

Is a concept that encourages you to think about and evaluate the amount of trust that exists in your personal and work relationships. Every interaction with another person may be a deposit or a withdrawal from your EBA or the EBAs of others. When you have a Win-Win attitude, you are making deposits in the EBAs of others and increasing TRUST in your relationship

Deposit vs Withdrawal
Deposit:: 1 Listening w/o interrupting 2 Being kind and courteous 3 Keeping Promises 4 Apologizing Withdrawals: 1 Interrupting a conversation 2 Being Rude and Discourteous 3 Lying 4 Showing Disrespect

 Deposits: Deposits build and repair trust in relationships. Withdrawals: Withdrawals reduce and damage trust in the relationships.

 What are you doing to make deposits into your emotional bank account and in the account of others????? What are you doing that makes you feel like you are overdrawn?????

Summary
Habit I: BE PROACTIVE Habit II: BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND Habit III: PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST Habit IV: THINK WIN-WIN
Next will be to Habit V: Seek First to Understand, Then be Understood!!!

Habit 5 Seek First to Understand

Diagnosis must precede prescription. Understanding comes through listening. I assume I dont fully understand, and I need to listen. If I listen first to understand, then I will be better understood. Before I walk in another persons shoes, I must first remove my own.

Habit 5
By developing an attitude for seeking to understand others first before trying to express your views, you become a person whom others trust. When people believe you care about their needs, they are more willing to care about yours, opening the way for WinWin.(H4)

Review How You Communicate

Becoming a more effective, empathic listener requires developing both the desire and skill to do so. To listen effectively, you must live by key principles of communication. One of these key principles is to understand the way meaning is conveyed from speaker to listener.

 Communication experts estimate that only 7 percent of your communication is represented by words you say, another 38 percent by your sounds and how you say words, and 55 percent by your nonverbals and body language. The one who listens does the most work, not the one who speaks.

Communication Barriers
It is hard to listen IF: Youre worried about problems You Listen faster than people speak Youre sometimes tired or bored Youre thinking about what youre going to say back to the other person Youre distracted What are your barriers????

 People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Empathic Listening
Empathy means seeing things the way another person sees them. Empathic listening is listening to completely understand the other persons viewpoint

Levels of Listening
Ignoring: Putting Forth No Effort Pretend Listening: Appearing to Listen Selective Listening: Hearing only what interests you Attentive Listening: Paying more attention. Being focused. Being Polite Empathic Listening: Listening with your eyes, heart, and mind to hear the entire message

Review Empathic Listening

You are not sure you understand You are not sure the other person feels understood The interaction has a strong emotional component There is low trust in the relationship

Respond to Acknowledge Understanding

When you practice empathy, you do not judge or offer solutions prematurely. You seek to clarify for what you heard. Use phrases from the list below to acknowledge that you understand: As I get it, you felt that You must have felt You place high value on. You seem frustrated about..

How would the following rate you as a listener? (1-5)

Your Best Friend 1 2 3 4 5 Your Teacher A Co-Worker Your Mom Your Dad Your Brother/Sister How do your scores affect your Emotional Bank account balances with these people? Are you making enough DEPOSITS?

Barriers to Success
Over the Long weekend, I want you to list all the past events and any guilt that you are currently faced with and be thorough. No one will see these but you. Bring it in with you on Tuesday. You will then burn it and forget it and never let it hold you back again..

Habit Review
Habit I: BE PROACTIVE Habit II: Begin With the End In Mind Habit III: Put First Things First Habit IV: Think Win-Win Habit V: Seek First To Understand, Then Be Understood Habit VI: SYNERGIZE

Habit 6: SYNERGIZE
The Whole is Greater than the Sum of Its Parts I value the differences in others and seek the Third Alternative Working together cooperatively takes time but produces better long-term results

Habit 6
Apply Win-Win thinking and Empathic Communication to seek synergistic outcomes, including the Third Alternative Use Synergy ground rules to discover the Third Avenue

Purpose of Habit 6
Every day you must interrelate and work with others- at home and on the job. Habit 6 will help you realize the benefits of working with others using creative cooperation, even when people act differently or believe different things.

What Does Synergy Mean

Synergy is when two or more people produce more together than the sum of what they could produce separately. They use their differences to produce something that neither one could have produced alone. Synergy means building teamwork and trust by recognizing the contributions of others and cooperating creatively.

Synergy IS vs Synergy IS NOT

Celebrating Differences Working Interdependently Being Open-Minded Tolerating Differences

Working Independently Thinking Youre Always Right Compromising

Finding New and Better Ways

Synergy Map
Define the Problem or Opportunity Their Way- seek first to understand the ideas of others My Way seek to be understood by sharing your ideas Brainstorm create new options and ideas High Way find the best solution

Advantages of Valuing Differences

People who value and celebrate differences in others are people who:
Act as role models Do not prejudge others based on characteristics or belief systems Discuss conflicts privately with the others involved Desire success for others Show respect through words and actions Recognize other viewpoints, even if they conflict with their own

I do what I say Ill do I listen to people I can be trusted with confidential info I give credit where credit is due I solve problems instead of wasting time blaming others I give honest feedback I share decision making w the people most important to me I share my opinions while respecting others opinions I share information w the appropriate people I respect other peoples ideas

TRUST Survey Rate 1-5 ( Poor Average Outstanding )

 0-29 You may have a problem trusting others. Because of that, you may appear less trustworthy. Look at those items where you scored yourself 3 or lower. What could you do to increase those scores? How can you demonstrate you are more trust-worthy and will keep your word? 30-44 You have a high level of trust, but should keep challenging yourself to increase your score. Where could you improve? 45-50 You are the model of trustworthiness

Totals

Habit 7 Sharpen the Saw

Production (results) requires development of production capability (resources) I increase my effectiveness through personal renewal in each of the four dimensions of my life I continually improve

Key Process
Constantly develop and renew personal resources to create better production and production capability Set and achieve goals for renewal in the physical, mental, spiritual, and social/emotional dimensions

 By taking time out to enhance your physical, mental, social/emotional, and spiritual well-being, you become more effective in all other habits To keep the lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it

Understand This
YOU are YOUR most important resource. To take care of yourself, you need to consciously plan time for renewal. Effectively planning your production and your production capability. This is known as the P/PC Balance Production Golden Eggs Production Capability The Goose

 Highly effective people balance their production capability (themselves, their work, their skills, and their coworkers) and their resulting production ( being responsible for their work, earning the respect of co-workers and patients, and becoming indispensable to the department).

Defining the Saw

Everybody needs and wants to feel energetic and peaceful. When you take time for the rest, relaxation, and renewal you need, you are sharpening your saw. Renewal allows you to take on the challenges of daily living and to maintain your production capability. Your saw consists of your body, mind, spirit, and relationships with others. It is vital to sharpen the saw completely by focusing on all four aspects of renewal.

 PHYSICAL: You build physical wellness through proper nutrition, exercise, rest, and stress management. MENTAL: You increase mental capacity by reading, writing, thinking, and discussing your ideas. SPIRITUAL: You develop spirituality by reading inspirational literature, meditating, performing service, and spending time in nature SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL: You mature socially and emotionally by making consistent daily deposits into the EBA of your key relationships and yourself.

What Can you Do to Sharpen the Saw?

Physical- To Live (5 Things) Mental To Learn (5 Things) Spiritual To Leave a Legacy (5 Things) Social/Emotional To Love (5 Things)

Review
Habit I: BE PROACTIVE Habit II: Begin With the End In Mind Habit III: Put First Things First Habit IV: Think Win-Win Habit V: Seek First To Understand, Then Be Understood Habit VI: SYNERGIZE Habit VII: Sharpen the Saw