Interpersonal communication

Interpersonal communication means communication among two or more persons - is an important ingredient of the organisation. On average half or more of the working time of an organisation is spent in Interpersonal communication . For a manager, it is imperative to master the interpersonal skill the ability to relate skillfully with others and become aware of ones own and others feelings. Lee Iacocca summing up the importance of maintaining good Interpersonal communication, quotes. There is one phrase I hate to see on any executives evaluation, no matter how talented he may be, and thats the line, He has trouble getting along with other people To me thats the kiss of death.

Theories of Interpersonal Relationship and communication

As Interpersonal relations dominate Interpersonal communication, it is essential to understand Interpersonal relations for different perspective. It will enhance our insight into Interpersonal communication. Some of these theories include: Schutzs Theory of Interpersonal Needs Leavys Transactional Perspective Transactional Analysis

Schutzs Theory of Interpersonal Needs

Everyone has interpersonal needs which vary from person-to-person and from time to time. Through communication process, people satisfy their needs. To William C. Schutz these needs that act as driving force behind all interpersonal behaviour are: need for inclusion, control and affection. The need for inclusion refers to associate with others and be accepted by others. The person with lower inclusion need (Under social) usually isolates himself from others and maintains distance between himself and others. On the extreme, over social person tries to put extra efforts even by being virtuous beyond his ability to mix up and interact with others. The third type of persons are adaptable social persons whose interaction level can be neither high or low depending upon the situation. The need for control refers to the need to exercise power and authority. This need varies from person to person. On one extreme, there are some persons who try to dominate others: on the other end, there are persons who avoid to influence others and happy by allowing others to make their decisions. People in the middle range function in both the situations they feel comfortable when others exercise power on them and also do not hesitate to become leaders when the appropriate situation emerges.

The need for affection the urge to be close to others varies among persons On one extreme, there are some persons who remain emotionally neutral or openly antagonistic. On the other extreme, there are persons who go out of the way to please others. In the middle range, there are those persons who are able to be close to others but do not feel unworthy when they are not being liked by others. According to Schutz, these needs have two aspects one aspect is what the person expresses towards others and the other is what the person wants from others. The following table summarizes this expressed and wanted behaviour.
Inclusion
Expressed inclusion Wanted inclusion Control Expressed control Wanted control Affection Expressed affection Wanted affection I act towards others in a close and personal way I want others to be close and personal towards me I influence and decide fro others. I want others to influence and control me I join with others and ask others to join with me I want others to ask me to join them

Leavys Transactional Perspective

Clinical psychologist Timothy Leavy tried to explain the interpersonal behaviour through Interpersonal Reflex. Accordingly interpersonal behaviour is classified into two axis: dominance submission (On vertical axis) and hostility affection (on horizontal axis). The centre point represents emotional neutrality. As a person moves towards distance from the centre, his behaviour becomes emotionally intensive. He may be either too affectionate or too hostile, or he may be too submissive or too dominating. Dominance

Hostility

Affection

Submission

The Interpersonal Reflex Model

According to Leavy, each interpersonal act is a bid for a complementary act. Along the vertical axis an act of one kind tends to evoke an opposite act, whereas on horizontal axis act of given kind tends to evoke the same kind of act. For example, submissive behaviour (on vertical axis) of one person is a bid for dominance by the other and vice versa, whereas act of hostility (on horizontal axis) provokes hostility and act of affection accelerates affection. It is also there that one persons bid may not be fully reciprocated by the other. The implication of the interpersonal reflex is that human behaviour is neither consciously thought nor deliberately executed, but happens reflexively. A person who is aware of his behaviour reflected on the two-dimensional model can consciously choose a broad range of responses. The choice of responses always contributes in improving the interpersonal relations and communication.

Transactional Analysis

Transactional analysis synthesizes Schutz and Leavys approach of interpersonal behaviour by looking at both the internal states of an individual and his external behaviour towards others. Eric Berne developed it as a method of examining transactions (social intercourse) and determining which part of the multiple natured individual is activated described as Parent, Adult and Child. Parent: In this ego sate, a person acts and speaks like elders (parents) setting norms, making moral judgments, controlling and nurturing others. This ego state is a result of the kind of conditioning people receive from their parents, elder members, teachers, etc. in their childhood it is right!, It is wrong!, It is bad!, It is Good!, etc. Adult: In this ego state a person gives factual information in logical, calculated, quiet and dispassionate way. Here his behaviour is like an adult solving problem or making decisions in a rational way. Child: In the child ego state, the person acts in impulsive and emotional way. His behaviour may be expression of joy, excitement, anger or rebellion (the natural Child); intuitive or creative (the little professor), or in compliance with the demands of the authority (the adopted child).

All of us evoke behaviour from these ego states at different times. A healthy individual maintains a balance among the three, whereas unhealthy people seem to have been dominated at times by one or the other. These unhealthy people create problems of interpersonal relations. The Ego States Parent Controlling Standard Setting Nurturing

Adult

Information Processing

Child

Natural Little Professor Adapted

Transactional Analysis can be used to explain individual behaviour in specific situation. Transaction is a unit of social intercourse e.g. when people encounter each other and speak and listen, etc. Every transaction has two parts Stimulus and Response. Stimulus is conveying something through speech, written message, body gesture, etc. Response is its feedback. According to Berne transaction may be complementary or crossed. What is complementary transaction? When stimulus and response on the P-A-C (Parent Adult Child) transactional diagram make parallel lines the transaction is complementary and can go indefinitely, Thomas A.Haris remarks. Whereas, when stimulus and response cross on the P-A-C (Parent Adult Child) transactional diagram, communication stops, (Thomas A.Haris)

Complementary Transactions:
In complementary transactions, communication can go on for indefinite period. This type of transaction can assume any vector Parent-Parent, Adult-Adult, Child- Child, Parent- Child etc.

Examples of Complementary Transactions:

1. Boss: I have not seen the daily report yet.

Subordinate: I shall give you just now. BOSS P A SUBORDINATE P A

(Stimulus)
(Response)

(Adult-Adult complementary transaction)

C 2. Boss: You should not late.

C
BOSS SUBORDINATE

Subordinate: Yes sir, I agree with you.

P
(Parent-Child complementary transaction)

P
A C

A C

3. Boss: The peon should come within time.

Subordinate: He has no sense of duty.

BOSS

SUBORDINATE

P
(Parent-Parent complementary transaction)

A C

A
C

Crossed Transactions:

The crossed transactions are less stable than complementary one. Here communication stops and the parties either withdraw quickly or shift to complementary situation. Examples of Crossed Transactions.

Boss: Is the daily report ready?. Subordinate: Why do you always ask me?
BOSS SUBORDINATE

P A

P A

2. Boss: You should come within time. Subordinate: This should also be applicable on you.
BOSS SUBORDINATE

P A C

P A C

3. Boss: I am applying for three days leave so that I can go home. Subordinate: You should pay more attention to work than to home.
BOSS SUBORDINATE

P A

P A

The implication of transaction analysis is that a person should avoid indulging in crossed transactions. The best will be to bring the other person from parent or child state to adult, so that he can talk in logic, cool and dispassionate way. Thus by understanding transactional analysis, interpersonal communication can be improved.