Friendship and love Presented by Group One

Friendship
Enjoyment Acceptance Trust Respect Mutual Assistance Confiding in each other Understanding Spontaneity

Love
Passion Caring

Friendship versus Love

Factors that increase friendship: Ben Franklin Effect after helping another person we
like them more. Contact Hypothesis bringing enemies together leads towards friendship. Dilution Effect information about others reduce stereotyping Empathy-Altruism Hypothesis if we feel empathy we are likely to help. Law of Attraction similar attitudes lead to friendship Mere Exposure theory exposure to people increases liking. Pratfall Effect being clumsy makes you likeable. Propinquity Effect meeting and interacting increase chance of friendship Repulsion Hypothesis we prefer those with similar attitudes (and vice versa).

Different stages of Friendship

SOCIAL-PENETRATION THEORY
Orientation Stage

Exploratory affective stage.

Depenetration

Affective Stage

Stable Stage

Levingers Stage Theory

Acquaintance / Attraction
Build-up Continuation / Consolidation Deterioration

Ending

Stimulus-value-role model
Sharing of activities to build a working relationship

Role Stage

Value Stage
Comparison in values happen; If compatible with each other, we continue.

Stimulus Stage
Evaluation of a person in terms of physical attributes

Terminating friendships
Positive Tone

Codys alternative strategies

Ducks four-five stage model

Relationship Phase
Relationship is fairly healthy, but dissatisfaction builds up

Intraphysics The focus is on the faults of the other Phase partner

Verbal
deescalation

Justification

Breakdown now Dyadic Phase comes out into the open

The focus to the perceptions of other people.

Social Phase
Behavioral
de-escalation

Negative Identity Manage ment

Grave Dressing Phase

The relationship now gets its official burying

What is love? (Four Different perspectives)

The physicist: Love is chemistry
Biologically, love is a powerful neurological condition like hunger or thirst, only more permanent.

The psychotherapist: Love has many guises

The ancients did not lump all the various emotions that we label "love"
under the one word.

The philosopher: Love is passionate commitment

The answer remains elusive in part because love is not one thing.

The romantic novelist: Love drives all great stories

What love is depends on where you are in relation to it.

The nun: Love is free, yet it binds us

Love is more easily experienced than defined.

What is real love?

Real love is a conscious choice that often employs the rational part of our brains. Real love accepts that your partner is a fallible, imperfect human, just as you are. Real love ebbs and flows in terms of interest, ease, and feelings. Real love is based on shared values and a solid friendship. Real love is action. Real love is a spiritual practice in that your focus is not how you can change your partner to alleviate your anger, pain, or annoyance but how you can assume full responsibility for those feelings and find healthy and constructive ways to attend to them. Real love is a lifelong practice.

Theories about love

Erich Fromms The Art of Loving

He identified four components of love:
Care - wanting the best for those we love Responsibility - being sensitive/responsive to needs Respect - accepting them for who they are Knowledge - being aware of needs/values/goals/feelings

B. He identified levels of development of love

Infantile love - I love you because I am loved Immature love - I love you because I need you Mature love - I need you because I love you

Erotic love - deceptive love because it is soon exhausted D. He popularized the idea of self-love - you have to love yourself in order to love others - i.e. think yourself worthy.

STERNBERGS TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

STERNBERGS TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

Components of love:
Intimacy: sharing of feelings and providing emotional support for each other. Commitment: a sense of attachment to another person Passion: linked with physiological arousal of the body

LEEs Colours of love

Eros Romance Ludos Conquest Storge Friendship Pragma Practicality Mania Obsession Agape Selflessness

I finally understood what true love meant... love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be.

Nicholas Sparks, Dear John