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CHAPTER OUTLINE
INTERPERSONAL SKILLS AND SUCCESS

MANAGING CONFLICT

INTERPERSONAL STRATEGIES AND SKILLS

SHARING FEEDBACK

DEALING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE AND SITUATION

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Chapter Objectives
1. Describe the communication climate in a working environment, identify the messages that have helped create it and suggest ways of communicating that can improve that climate 2. Use the guidelines in this chapter: to give constructive feedback to respond to criticism in a no defensive manner 3. Identify various approaches to conflict and steps to conflict management 4. Describe four styles of negotiating solutions in work-related conflicts and predict likely consequences of using each style. 5. Demonstrate how to seek a win-win solution in a work-related negotiation.
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 BUILDING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS

AFFIRMING DIGNITY ENHANCING ORGANIZATIONAL CLIMATE

 Busybody
Butts in to conversations
Butts in to others conversation Expresses opinion on matters that do not concern

him/her
Controlling/Bossy
Tries to control, boss others around Gives orders without having the proper authority Is condescending/talks down to others Wants his/her own way

 Self-promotion

Competitive, wants to be number one

Tries to promote him/herself Is self-centered Tries to make him/herself look good Unprofessional Behavior Is rude Gossips and bad mouths others to a third party Criticizes others Yells or screams
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 Unprofessional Focus of Attention

Talks about personal problems at work Brings personal problems to work Talks about non-work-related issues

Distracting
Distracts others from work Behaves in irritating ways

Defensive and Judgmental

Sees others as a threat to his/her job Attacks others behavior and judgments Critical, rather than constructive
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 GIVING PRAISE RAISING DIFFICULT ISSUES

OFFERING AND RESPONDING TO CRITICSM

 Theres truth to the old saying you can catch more flies

with honey than with vinegar.

A few tips can help make sure praise gets the desired

results.

1.

Praise Promptly More quickly provide positive feedback, more meaningful it will be Make praise specific - - value added
Sincere What is it that you appreciate Employee knows exactly what is being appreciated Employee continues with the good behavior

2.

3.

Praise progress, not just perfection

Look at progress why?
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4.

Praise Intermittently from time to time

Too much praise may not be good May sound insincere

Do not go overboard with praises

5.

Relay Praise

Singing praise to others who deserve to know Benefits everyone Praise messenger Feel good about the person who praise and you for relaying the praise Team spirit 6. Praise Sincerely Insincere is worse than no praise Serve as a chain reaction on all your other compliments

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 Its usually pleasure to deliver praise, but there are

situation necessary to communicate about problematic behavior.

Communicate problematic issues can be difficult

because your message may seem like an attack on person behavior who is causing a problem.
Constructive approaches able to help to raise difficult

issues. Table 5.2 (page 114)

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1.

Use Descriptive I Language You language point a verbal finger of accusation at the receiver I language focus on the speaker instead of accusing the receiver (also known as descriptive statements) Use descriptive statement (nonjudgmental) they are more complete as they express speakers feelings and the reason for bringing up the matter. Focus on Solving Problems, Not Controlling Others Control shows a lack of regard for the other persons needs, interest and opinion May cause problem in the relationship even if you get what you want Problem oriented messages aims at solving everyones needs To meet everyones needs
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2.

3.

Be Honest: Dont Manipulate Once people discover that they have been manipulated, a defensive reaction is almost guaranteed Simple honesty is less likely to generate defensiveness, may even earn you respect among the members Show Concern for Others Genuine message of interest can make a tremendous difference A simple apology, going out of you way to attend to clients needs may all encourage people to do business with you Indifference disconfirming message

4.

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5.

Demonstrate an Attitude of Equality People who act in superior manner imply that others are inferior disconfirming message No status differences between superior and subordinate Keep an Open Mind Listening open mindedly can promote relationships People whom you communicate with may have other knowledge that you might not have-listen out to them Promote healthy relationship Make them feel that their idea are heard and respected Do not criticize before you hear everything

6.

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Defense Reducing And Defense Arousing Messages

Defense-Reducing: Descriptive (Use I language) Problem Oriented Honest Concerned Equal Open-minded, provisional Defense-Arousing: Evaluative

Controlling Manipulative Indifferent Superior Dogmatic, certain

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Offering and Responding to Criticism

Offering Constructive Feedback

Sender Chose the most credible critic Make sure the criticism is appropriate to the critics role Frame the message Limit the criticism to one topic Make sure the criticism is accurate Define the problem clearly Show how your criticism can benefit the recipient Remember to acknowledge the positives Deliver Deliver feedback privately Allow enough time Avoid sounding and judgmental Listen to the other person Remain calm and professional 17

Criticism can start a cycle of defensive that pollutes the communication climate between people or working groups.

 Responding to criticism

Receiving criticism is tougher than giving it. Fight counterattacking, blaming others Seldom successful Flight stay away from their office, not returning phone calls, refusing to listen to the criticism, keeping quiet Both will not satisfy your critics or help you to understand

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 Seek More Information

Ask for examples or clarification

Guess about details of the criticism

Paraphrase the critic Ask what the critic wants

Agree with the Criticism

Agree with the facts
Agree with the critics perception Emphasize areas of common ground

Work for a cooperative solution

Ask for the chance to state your point of view
Focus on a solution, not on finding fault

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 Sincere Regret

Understanding the person suffered harm

An explanation of what happened Corrective action

Restoration
PAGE 119

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A complete apology contains several elements:

Sincere regretThe fundamental part of an apology is a genuine expression of regret: I feel bad about not showing up for yesterdays shift. Im really sorry I let you down. Understanding that the person suffered harmShow that you recognize how the other person was affected and that youre sorry. I know it was busy, and it must have been a nightmare. An explanation of what happenedWithout offering excuses, consider explaining how the offending behavior came to happen. I got a panicky call from my grandmother, and felt like I had to get over there and see what the matter was. It turned out to be nothing, but by the time I got her calmed down, it was too late to call you.
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A complete apology contains several elements:

Corrective actionShow that you intend to prevent future problems. Ive asked her to call my sister if anything like this happens again, so unless theres a real emergency, there should not be any more problems like this. RestorationDo what you can to compensate the other person for the misdeed. If it would help, I am happy to cover tomorrows shift, even though I am not scheduled.
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 Incivility Bullying
Agression Criticsm Deviousness Gatekeeping

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 Strategies for Dealing with Incivility and Bullying

Negotiate with the offender Appeal to a third party Back off Reframe your thinking

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 Sexual Harassment
Quid Pro Quo
Hostile work environment

Avoiding Sexual Harassment Problems Responding to Sexual Harassment

Consider dismissing the incidence Keep a record of the incident for possible future action Write a personal letter to the harasser

Ask trusted a third party to intervene

Use company channel File a legal complaint
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What are Conflicts About?

How to do something What to do

Job assignment Pay and compensation Scheduling

How we want to be treated and how to treat others

Competence Honesty Commitment Fairness

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Avoid the conflicts whenever possible and withdraw when confronted: physically or psychologically ACCOMMODATING
Accommodators give ground as a way of maintaining harmony AVOIDING COLLABORATING Communicator are committed to working together to resolve conflict COMPROMISING Each party sacrifices something he or she seeking to gain an agreement
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APPROACHES TO CONFLICT

COMPETING Disregard the other persons concerns, this approach based on the assumption that the only way for one party to reach its goal is to overcome the other

 When an issue is genuinely trivial, or when

more important issues are pressing When there is no chance of you winning When the potential for disruption is greater than the benefits of resolution To let others cool down and regain perspectives When long-term costs of winning may outweigh short term gains When others can resolve the conflict effectively
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 When you find you are wrong

When the issue is important to the other

party but not to you To build social credits for later issues To minimize loss when you are outmatched and losing When harmony and stability is more important To allow others to learn by making and managing their own mistakes
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 When quick, decisive action is vital

(emergency) On important issues where unpopular actions need implementing When others till take advantage of your noncompetitive behavior

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To find solutions when both parties

concerns are too important to be compromised When a long-term relationship between the parties is important To gain commitment of all parties by building consensus When the other party is willing to take a collaborative approach

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When goals are important but not worth

the effort or potential disruption of more assertive modes When opponents with equal power are committed to mutually exclusive goals To achieve temporary settlements of complex issues To arrive at expedient solutions under time pressure As a backup, when collaboration is unsuccessful

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Negotiation occurs when two or more parties-either individuals or groups discuss specific proposals to find a mutually acceptable agreement. A common way of settling conflicts in business When it is skillfully handled it can improve the position of one or both parties When poorly handled it can leave problems There are four negotiating styles available for parties involved:
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a. Negotiation Strategies and Outcomes Win-lose approach Lose-lose outcomes Compromise Win-win outcome Shorter working hours Increasing employee compensation Blending business goals and community beauty b. Preparing to Negotiate 1. Clarify your interests and needs 2. Consider the best time to raise the issue 3. Prepare your statement c. Conducting the Negotiation 1. Identify the ends both parties are seeking 2. Brainstorm a list of possible solutions 3. Evaluate the alternative solutions 4. Implement and follow up on the solution
aso/Chapter 5

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WIN-LOSE LOSE-LOSE

COMPROMISE

WIN-WIN

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Win-lose Orientation based on the assumption that only one side can reach its goals and that any victory by that party will be matched by the others loss Lose-Lose Orientation a conflict plays out in a way that damages both parties to such a degree that everyone feels like a loser Compromise both parties lose at least some of what they were Seeking

Win-win Orientation assumes that solutions can be reached that satisfy the needs of all parties.

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 Clarify your interest and needs Consider the best time to raise the issue Prepare your statement

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 Identify the ends both parties are

seeking Brainstorm a list of possible solutions Evaluate the alternative solutions Implement Follow up on the solution

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THANK YOU

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