WHAT DOES IT

TAKE TO BE A
GOOD PARENT?
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INTRODUCTION TO HEALTHY
PARENTING
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Raising a happy, healthy child is one of the most
challenging and rewarding jobs a parent can have. Yet
many of us don't approach parenting with the same
focus we would use for a job. We may act on our gut
reactions or just use the same parenting techniques our
own parents used, whether or not these were effective
parenting skills.

By Laurence Steinberg (PhD Professor of psychology at Temple University
in Philadelphia)



AM I A GOOD
PARENT?
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The first thing to consider is answering this question
Parents are people too, not gods. You are going to make little
mistakes, even big blunders. The key is to recognize the
mistake, accept it, and learn from it.
Children are remarkably resilient. If you err, stop it, change it,
apologize for it. You will be modelling flexibility and honesty
for your child two important values for them to have.



HERE ARE KEY AREAS TO MASTER
TO BE A GOOD PARENT.
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Listen
Children need to be heard. Take the time to listen and communicate in your childs
language. Your child will feel understood and trust you.

Be consistent.
Children need structure. They want to know the rules. Both parents must agree on
the rules so that your child doesn't become confused. Until your rules become
internalized for the child that is until your child begins to believe the rules too
it is important that there are consistent and logical consequences for following the
rule or breaking the rule.
Be a teacher
Remember that punishment usually only evokes anger and hurt in a child.
Obviously, the goal is not to teach anger and hurt. The goal is to teach important
values such as honesty, responsibility, creativity, sensitivity. Development of these
values requires positive interactions with a parent. Liberal amounts of praise and
love encourages the child to accept the values you are teaching.
Be a model.
If you want your child to be well-behaved, then you should model the behaviour
and character you hope your children will adopt and continue to live by the rules
that you set. Show them by example in addition to verbal explanations. Children
have a tendency to become what they see and hear unless they make a conscious
and concerted effort to break the mold. You don't have to be a perfect person, but
you should strive to do as you want your children to do.
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Teach your children to be independent.
Teach your children that it is okay for them to be different, and they do not have to
follow the crowd. Teach them right from wrong when they are young, and they will be
able to make their own decisions, instead of listening to or following others.
Remember that your child is not an extension of yourself. Your child is an individual
under your care, not a chance for you to relive your life through them.
Avoid comparing your children to others, especially siblings.
Each child is individual and unique. Celebrate their differences and instil in each child
the desire to pursue their interests and dreams. Failure to do so may give your child an
inferiority complex, an idea that they can never be good enough in your eyes. If you
want to help them improve their behaviour, talk about meeting their goals on their
own terms, instead of telling them to act like their sister or neighbour. This will help
them develop a sense of self instead of having an inferiority complex.

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Give your child love and affection.

Sometimes the best thing you can give your child is love and affection. A warm
touch or a caring hug can let your child know how much you really care about
them. Don't ever overlook how important a physical connection is when it comes
to your child.
Tell them you love them every day, no matter how angry at them you may be.
Give lots of hugs and some kisses.
Make your children comfortable with love and affection from birth.
Love them unconditionally.
Don't force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your
love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.

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FI NALLY, I T I S I MPORTANT TO REMEMBER
THAT YOUR CHI LD I S A UNI QUE AND A
S EPARATE PERS ON FROM YOU.
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Parent Poems
Parents are the unsung heroes of every person that has ever done anything great.
Think about the people that you most admire in your life. Do you attribute any of
their greatness to the people that raised them? Often, we do not even think about
the fact that there were most likely two people who were most influential in making
a person who they are. Of course I am referring to his or her parents. If a person
is great, remember that greatness is not achieved in a vacuum. There were people
who sowed the seeds of greatness.
The end