Emotions Are

Running the Joint!

Methods for
Increasing Emotional Competence
in Coaching &Training

Christine Grimm
Aria Consulting International
www.ariacx.com
In This Session
Youll Learn
Conclusion
How Emotional Competence relates to leadership effectiveness in
times of stress & uncertainty
Impact of a leaders emotion on motivation, retention and productivity
Strategies to embed emotional development into programs
Tools & exercises to target and develop emotional competence in
real time
Language to increase cultural awareness of leadership emotion in
the workplace
.because of the furious pace of
change in business today, difficult
relationships sabotage business
more than anything else it is not
a questions of strategy that gets us into
trouble, it is a question of emotions.
John Kotter, Harvard Business School

Anyone You Know?
Our research tells us that the single most
important determinant of individual performance
is a persons relationship with his or
her immediate manager.
Now, Discover Your Strengths
Marcus Buckingham & Donald O. Clifton
THE EMOTIONAL HIJACK!

Basic law of psychology: excessive
negative emotion inhibits the ability to
think clearly.
Negative emotions, esp. chronic anger,
anxiety or sense of futility, powerfully
disrupt work; hijack attention from
productive tasks
Relationships and people are not a priority,
unless the person is protecting him/her

BEHAVIOR EMOTIONAL PHYSICAL
Our Responses To
Threat/Fear/Stress
The main purpose of the innermost part of the
brain is survival.
To Get at Emotion,
Go Deep...
Amygdala is deep within the most elemental
parts of the brain.
LEADERSHIP AND EMOTIONS
In any human group the leader has
maximal power to sway everyones
emotions.
The fundamental role of the Leader is
to drive good feelings in those they
lead. If they fail at this, nothing else
they do will work as well as it could or
should. Daniel Goleman,Primal Leadership
Emotions Are Contagious!
When leaders drive emotions
positively, they bring out everyones
best. We call this effect resonance.
When leaders drive emotions
negatively, they spawn dissonance.
Daniel Goleman, Primal Leadership

Emotionally Competent Leaders
are in Demand
Higher job uncertainty & insecurity workplace stress
Higher degree of family & community stress
More employees working virtually email and phones as
tools for interaction
Technology impersonalizes the workplace
More project based employees or 1099
Changing diversity in the workplace
Age, race, religion, language, gender
Greater global reach requiring sensitivity to other
cultures

What is Emotional Intelligence?
Emotional Intelligence is consciously
choosing thoughts, feelings,
and actions to create
optimal relationships
with yourself
and others.
Used with permission 6 Seconds
Self
Personal Competence
Others
Social competence
Recognition
Self-Awareness
Emotional self-awareness
Accurate self-assessment
Self-confidence
Social Awareness
Empathy
Service orientation
Organizational awareness
Regulation
Self-Management
Self-control
Trustworthiness
Conscientiousness
Adaptability
Achievement drive
Initiative
Optimism
Stress Management
Relationship Management
Developing others
Influence
Communication
Conflict management
Leadership
Change catalyst
Building bonds
Teamwork /collaboration
Four Domains of
Emotional Intelligence
What is Emotional Competence?
Leaders are aware of how their behavior and actions
impact employees and the business
Leaders use their thoughts and emotions to build
strong appropriate relationships
Leaders create an environment where employees are
motivated, trusted and engaged
Leaders partner with employees to set priorities and
ensure accountability
Leaders demonstrate respect




Realities of Coaching & Training
for Emotional Competence
Emotional Intelligence (EI) can be taught and
learned

EI takes longer to learn than cognitive skills

EI skills must be practiced & tested in context

EI is synergistic with cognitive skills







Priorities for Coaching/Training
for Emotional Competence
1) Manage personal stress and anxiety
2) Recognize and name emotions
3) Understand what causes feelings
4) Learn to differentiate between emotion and a real
need to take action
5) Overcome depression & negativity with learned
optimism
6) Manage anger
7) Connect gut feelings to decision making
8) Identify and react to emotions of others (empathy)



Using Emotions to
Maximize Decision Making
As a person matures, emotions begin to
shape and improve thinking by directing a
persons attention to important changes
Examples:
A child worries about his homework but continually watches
TV
A teacher becomes concerned about a lesson that needs to be
completed for the next day. The teacher moves on to complete
the task before concern takes over enjoyment.
Mayer and Salovey, 1995
Developing Empathy
Empathy is the ability to recognize AND
appropriately acknowledge anothers
emotional state.
In NLP and therapeutic research,
empathy includes matching the
physiological changes of the other
person.
Empathy & The Bottom-Line
Greater emotional
stability
Greater interpersonal
sensitivity
Improved to superior
performance for both
the leader and the
employee

In general, the more emotionally demanding
the work, the more empathic and
supportive the leader needs to be.
Leaders drive the service climate and the
predisposition of employees to satisfy customers.

Daniel Goleman, Primal Leadership





Targeted Assessment
Individualized development plans
Group learning
Coaching
Opportunities for safe practicing of new
skills & behaviorin context of work




Embed & Integrate EI in
Leadership Development


Organizational
Climate/Morale
Motivation
Employee LifecycleAudit

Individual
EI Self-Assessment
Behavior Style Self-Assessment
360 Degree Feedback
Anecdotal
Motivation






Targeted Assessment



Design learning plans based on:
Employee feedback (360)
Peer Feedback (360anecdotal)
Employee Survey Results (Motivation)
Past performance appraisals
Current job expectations & goals
Career path
Self-development plans
Professional goals




Individualized
Development Plans


Embed emotional competencies into
curriculum for
Targeted classroom training
Facilitated discussions
Team building
Experiential and action learning
Virtual learning sessions
Peer coaching groups/Be It Groups




Group Learning


Focus on skill/behaviors targeted by individual
development plan (IDP)
Use curriculum that is embedded with emotional
competence exercises, reading content, self-
reflective writing and listening activities
Breathing Techniques to Slow/Control Hijacking
Instant Better Feeling Maneuver
Action/Reaction Exercise
ABCDE Model Exercise
Stop, Challenge and Choose
Role Play with Real Life Scenarios






Coaching


Interviews
Case Studies
Role Plays with Real Scenarios
Peer Reviews
Challenge Work Assignments
In- Basket Assessments
On the job training & Evaluation

Opportunities for
Practice & Application
TAKING EI INTO AN
ORGANIZATION
Does the organization tolerate low EI
behaviors?
Does the performance evaluation process
include evaluating for EI behaviors?
Is there an organizational focus on EI?
Does the organizational culture/leadership
promote, train, develop, reward high EI
behavior?

Building EI Language Into
Your Culture
Embed emotional competencies in organizational values
Talk to executives about the emotional competence of emerging
leaders, HiPOs and focus employees
Add Emotional Competence as a critical ability in your
leadership readiness scale
Integrate emotional competencies into job descriptions
Build behavior & emotional intelligence questions into
interviewing criteria
Give the candidate an opportunity to demonstrate:
Empathy, self awareness, self management, relationship
management

Without a robust relationship
with a leader who sets
clear expectations, knows you,
trusts you and invests in you,
you are less likely
to stay and perform.

Marcus Buckingham and Donald O. Clifton

Executive
Development
Senior Team Off-sites
Strategic Planning
Executive Coaching
Training & Education
Management Training
Programs
Professional Skills Training
Professional Mentoring
Organizational
Development
Team Alignment
Virtual Teams
Cultural Transformation
Change Management

Christine Grimm
Aria Consulting International
christineg@ariacx.com
ARIACX.com
Join our network:
http://www.linkedin.com/in/christinegrimm
http://www.twitter.com/christinegrimm
Qui ckTi me and a
decompres sor
are needed to see this pi c ture.
RESOURCES
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
Emotional Intelligence at Work by Hendrie Weisinger
Emotionally Intelligent Living by Geetu Orme
Executive EQ: Emotional Intelligence in Leadership and Organizations by
Cooper and Sawaf
Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman, Ph.D.
Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman
Promoting Emotional Intelligence in Organizations by Cary Cherniss and
Mitchel Adler
Putting Emotional Intelligence to Work: Successful Leadership is More Than
IQ by D. Ryback
The EQ Edge by Steven Stein and Howard Book
The Emotionally Intelligence Manager by Caruso and Salovey