NON-VERBAL

COMMUNICATION

"It's not what you say,

but
it's how you say it

If the words, the tone, and the body language are all in step, in
synchronization, then the communication is said to be congruent

If any of the above elements is in dissonance, or not in synch,

then the communication becomes non-congruent

The message is not clear to the listener and a wrong meaning is

carried away because of this non-congruent message

- a natural, unconscious language, that broadcasts our true

feelings and intentions in any given moment

Why is Body Language important?

55%

7%

38%

Components of Body Language

Reactions to an invasion
of your space

Feel troubled
Get defensive
Become aggressive

Hand Shake
An universal form of greeting and almost everyone does it...
If you meet a woman...
How to Handshake:
Palm Vertical to the ground and extending your arm forward as though you
were sawing wood with a hand saw. It sends a message of greetings, I am here
for you as you for me. We are equals.
Better Tilt your hand slightly so that your palm is pointing to the sky. This subtle
body language message is humility and that you are there to help and to serve.
Palm Up I am here to serve you. It can also indicate when first offered,
submission or take charge.

Palm Down This is the authoritative position. You are in charge or in authority.
You are there to take the lead, to take care of things, to get the job done.
However it can also indicate a controlling personality.
Hand in Hand Typically your greeter will offer a hand palm up and before
shaking starts the second hand sandwiches yours.
It is given when wanting to demonstrate concern or to convey that youre with a
caring individual. It conveys familiarity.
The Middle Five
Related to a high five, a mid five fanning of the hand will be offered from the
right side of your greeter and will wave in almost as if to clap your hand and
then ending in a traditional shake.
Only engage in it if you are familiar or have become known to the person
offering it

The Eyes Have It

Maintain eye contact while engaging in shaking hands. Nothing will
communicate self confidence, sincerity, and camaraderie more than this one
gesture.

Dead fish handshake

Eye Contact

Blushing

FACIAL EXPRESSIONS
The emotional face expressions are:
Happiness
Sadness
Fear
Disgust
Surprise
Anger
Are the same across cultures

Happiness broad smile, raised cheeks, round eyes

Anger Lowered eyebrow, tightly pursed lips, intensive stare

Surprise Wide open eyes, open mouth, raised eyebrows

Fear open mouth round eyes, pale face

Disgust wrinkled nose, raised upper lip, lowered eyelids

Sadness lowered corners of mouth, sad eyes

Hand and arm gestures

Arms Crossed

Angry, Disapproving

Open

Honest, Accepting

Hand and arm gestures

Hand and arm gestures

Angry/annoyed or Defensive

Angry/annoyed

Other Hand gestures

On Top of the Head

Amazement

Scratching Head

Puzzled , Confused

Rubbing Eyes

Tired

Rubbing Chin folded

Thinking, Timid, Shy

Other Finger gestures

Fingers Interlocked

Tense

Pointing at you

Angry

OK Signal

Fine

V Sign

Peace, Victory

Voice - Paralanguage

Non-verbal element of communication that includes rate

(speed), pitch and Volume (loudness)

High pitch rage, nervousness, helplessness

Low pitch despair, depression
Loud - aggressive, uncompromising
Soft - timid, polite, unsure of themselves

Open Stance
Interested people always have an erect
posture, pay attention and lean forward
A firm handshake will give the impression of
assertiveness or honesty
People showing open hands, both feet planted
on the ground are accepting
A head tilted to the side indicates interest

NONVERBAL BEHAVIOR

INTERPRETATION

Brisk, erect walk

Confidence

Standing with hands on hips

Readiness, aggression

Sitting with legs crossed, foot

kicking slightly

Boredom

Sitting, legs apart

Open, relaxed

Arms crossed on chest

Defensiveness

Walking with hands in pockets,

shoulders hunched

Dejection

Hand to cheek

Evaluation, thinking

Touching, slightly rubbing nose

Rejection, doubt, lying

Rubbing the eye

Doubt, disbelief

Head resting in hand, eyes

downcast

Boredom

Rubbing hands

Anticipation

Sitting with hands clasped behind

head, legs crossed

Confidence, superiority

Pinching bridge of nose, eyes

closed

Negative evaluation

Tapping or drumming fingers

Impatience

Steepling fingers

Authoritative

Patting/fondling hair

Lack of self-confidence; insecurity

Tilted head

Interest

Stroking chin

Trying to make a decision

Looking down, face turned away

Disbelief

Biting nails

Insecurity, nervousness

Reading Body Language

Rely on signals that happen immediately after something is
said
Do not consider each body language signal in isolation
Look for a number of signals that happen in a short span of
time, which is called a clusters

Dos and the Don'ts

Don't walk in pulling up your pants or readjusting your tie;

pull yourself together before you stand up to greet the
hiring manager or enter their office.
Limit your application of colognes and perfumes. Invading
aromas can arouse allergies. Being the candidate that
gave the interviewer a headache isn't going to do anything
in your favor
Make sure your goodbye handshake is just as confident
now as it was going in. Keep that going while you walk
through the office building, into the elevator and onto the
street.

 Dont cross your

arms or legs

You have probably already heard

you shouldnt cross your arms as
it might make you seem
defensive or guarded. This goes
for your legs too. Keep your
arms and legs open.

 Have eye contact, but dont stare

 Dont be afraid to take up some

space
Taking up space by
for example
sitting or standing
with your legs
apart a bit signals
self-confidence
and that you are
comfortable.

 Relax your shoulders

 Dont touch your face

It might make you
seem nervous and
can be distracting
for the listeners or
the people in the
conversation

 Keep your head up

Dont keep your eyes on
the ground, it might
make you seem
insecure and a bit lost.
Keep your head up
straight and your eyes
towards the horizon

 Dont stand too close

One of the things we
learned is that
everybody gets weird
by a close-talker. It is
embarrassing if the
more we move back
the more the other
person comes
forward. Let people
have their personal
space, dont invade it.

Nod once in a
while to signal that -Nodding the head
- Yes in most societies
you are listening.
- No in some parts of
But dont overdo it

Greece, Yugoslavia,
-Tossing the head backward
- yes in India, Thailand,
-Rocking head slowly, back and
forth
- yes, Im listening in most
Asian cultures

If you want to show

that you are interested
in what someone is
saying, lean toward the
person talking. If you
want to show that
youre confident in
yourself and relaxed
lean back a bit. But
dont lean in too much.

lighten up, dont take

yourself too seriously.
Relax a bit, smile and
laugh when someone
says something funny.

This goes for many things. Walking slower not

only makes you seem more calm and
confident, it will also make you feel less
stressed.

Use your hands to describe something or to add weight to a point you are
trying to make. But dont use them to much or it might become distracting.
And dont let your hands flail around, use them with some control.

Often when you get along

with a person, when
the two of you get a
good connection, you
will start to mirror
each other
unconsciously. That
means that you mirror
the other persons
body language a bit

Last but not least,

keep a positive,
open and relaxed
attitude. How you
feel will come
through in your
body language
and can make a
major difference.

Non-verbal communication extends beyond

bodily actions to anything that sends
messages.
Dress, including style, tidiness, coordination.
Personal adornments, from jewellery to
watches and badges.

Ability to manage stress

Ability to recognize your emotions

"One of the best ways to make sure that your body

language is appropriate is to have a friend or family
member watch you and see if you do any gestures or
movements that could be construed as inappropriate in
the workplace. Listen to the feedback and make
adjustments as necessary,"