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ASSERTIVENESS

WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?

Assertiveness is about self


confidence which means having
a positive attitude towards
yourself and others.

Ten Points about Assertive


Behaviours
1-It depends on expressing yourself
2-Showing respects to others rights
3-Being honest
4-Indirect and certain
5-Mutual equilibrim and benefit is important in
a relationship
6-It is expressing emotions, rights, realities,
thoughts and boundaries by words
7-Using non-verbal comminication for sending
the message
8-It is not universal, it depends on the position
and the individual
9-It is getting social responsibility
10-It is not the nature of the hunamkind, it can
be learned

Being Assertive
1-Being assertive is focusing on your
goal
2-Being assertive is being self-aware
3-Being assertive is being true to
yourself
4-Being assertive is building self
esteem
5-Being assertive is nurturing yourself.

TYPES OF ASSERTIVENESS

Non-assertive behaviour
I am not ok,you are ok

Assertive behaviour
I am ok,you are ok

Aggresive behaviour
I am ok,you are not ok

Manipulative behaviour
I am not ok,you are not ok

Agressive ---Agressive

Aggresive---Passive

Assertive---Passive

Positive attitude and


assertive behaviour

Self confidence and high self esteem


Respect for self and towards others
Take responsibility for self
Motivated to do a good job
nterested in others feelings and
thoughts
Ask questions
Honest and direct
Listen to others
Ask others for feedback

ASSERTIVENESS BY VERBAL
AND NONVERBAL
COMMUNICATION
It aint what you say, it is the way that you say it

Tonation

I will phone you It will be me not any other person


I will phone you I will not forget!
I will phone you I will not write or visit.
I will phone you It will be you,not any other person.

Faces and the looks


Eye signal
Body image
Personal space
The gesture

SAYING YES OR NO

Why is it difficult to say no?

If I say no,they may feel hurt or injected


If I say no this time, they may not like me
anymore
If I say no this time,they may never ask again
They wont take any notice if I say no
They would say yes to me (and so I will feel
guilty if I refuse them)
I cant say no, because I feel sorry for them

How to say no assertively?

Start your reply with a


clear,firm,audible no
Do not justify or make excuses.Giving
a reason is different from overappologizing
Feel that you have a right to say no
Once you have said no , do not stay
around waiting to be persuaded to
change your mind.Make a definite
closure by changing the
subject,walking away, continiuing with
what you are doing-whatever is
appropriate

How to say no assertively?

Remember you are saying no to that


particular request,not rejecting the
person
If the request takes you unawares or
you have not sufficent time to think
when asked,you can always say, I will
let you know in order to give yourself
time to think about what you want to say
Take responsibility for saying no-do not
blame the other person for asking you
Ask for more information if you need it
in order to decide whether you want to
say yes or no

Why is it difficult to say yes?

I dont deserve it
They might not really mean it
I am not really sure that is what I want
I dont have enough information

How to say yes assertively

Say yes clearly and definitely


Identify why you would find it difficult
Examine thoughts realistically and ask
yourself
Having calarified thughts for yourself
then reaffirm your desire to say yes

Combining yes and no

yes and no may be combined assertively to


define what we want or what our limits are in a
particular situation.

THE IMPORTANCE OF
ASSERTIVENESS IN
ORGANISATIONS
Assertiveness
Personal identity
Wages or salary
Satisfaction from
exercising skills
Satisfaction from
helping people
Social
environment

Need to dealing with


Theirselves
The manager to
whom they report
Their colleagues
Their subordinates
Clients or customers