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Different Sex and Relationships

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Men and women often have different ideas
about sex and love, and therefore often differ on
why they have sex.
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Differences in Desire
One of the most common types of problems that
a couple might encounter is a difference in the
frequency with which sex is desired.
In many relationships, it does no good to point
the finger and put the blame on one person or
the other.
People are generally only oversexed or
undersexed relative to their partners desires. It
is the couple that has the problem.

Relationship Conflict
Sexual relations, of course, are only part of a couples
overall relationship.
The names and addresses of certified marriage and
family therapists in your area can be obtained by
writing to the American Association for Marriage and
Family Therapy, 112 South Alfred Street, Alexandria, VA
22314.
If a particular sexual behavior is causing an individual a
great deal of stress and anxiety and possibly interfering
with his or her ability to function in a relationship, then
that person may be regarded as having a problem.

Sexual Therapy
Psychoanalysis generally involved long-term
treatment and attempted to cure the problem by
resolving childhood conflict, viewing the
behavioral problem as merely a symptom of
some other deeper conflict.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy focuses on sexual
behaviors and how we feel about them. It does
not focus on past events.
Psychoanalysts often charge that behavioral
therapies only treat the symptoms.

 They claim that if the underlying cause of the

problem is not determined, the problem will
eventually manifest itself in another manner.
No one can deny, however, that behavioral
approaches have been enormously successful in
treating many sexual problems.
Psychosexual therapy is designed to give insight
into the historical cause of clients problems, is
often more successful for some types of
problems.

 Most follow what is called the PLISSIT model.

PLISSIT is an acronym for permission, limited
information, specific suggestions, and intensive
therapythe four levels of therapy.
In the first level, the therapist gives permission for the
client to feel and behave sexually.
This is important, because many people and
institutions cause people to suppress or repress their
sexuality while growing up.
In the second level, the therapist gives information to
the client.

 This is done in such a manner that the client

continues to acquire a positive attitude about
sexuality.
At the specific suggestion stage, the therapist
gives the client exercises to do at home that will
help with the specific problem.
If the client is still experiencing problems after
completing the specific suggestions, then
intensive psychosexual therapy will be
employed. Only about 10% of people who go to
sex therapy require this last step.

Sexual Therapy Techniques

Systematic Desensitization
Therapists often attempt to reduce this anxiety
through systematic desensitization, involving
muscle relaxation exercises or stress-reduction
techniques.
A series of anxiety-producing scenes is
presented to the patient, and he or she is told to
try to imagine the scene.

 If this causes anxiety, the relaxation exercises

are used until the scene can be imagined
without anxiety.
The therapist them proceeds to the next scene
and repeats the procedure until the patient can
complete the entire series without anxiety.

Sensate Focus
Most therapists instruct couples to use
nondemand mutual pleasuring techniques hen
touching each other.
The couple learns to be sensual in a
nondemanding situation.
The purpose is to reduce anxiety and teach
nonverbal communication skills.
A successful outcome for the treatment of sexual
problems is often directly related to the amount
of sensate focus that is completed during
therapy.

Specific Exercises
After the sensate focus exercises are
successfully completed, therapists generally
assign specific exercises to help with the
problem for which the person came for
treatment.

Sexual Desire Disorders: Hypoactive

Sexual Desire and Sexual Aversion
Desire is composed of three components:
(1) sexual drivethe biological component;
(2) sexual wishthe subjective, psychological
component; and
(3) sexual motivationan individuals willingness
to engage in sexual behavior with a person.
Hypoactive sexual desire is persistent or
recurrent absence of sexual fantasies and
sexual desire.

Sexual Arousal Disorder: Erectile

Disorder
Erectile disorders can be primary (i.e. the man
has always had problems) or secondary (i.e. the
individual has not had erectile problems in the
past); and global (i.e. the problem occurs in all
situations) or situational (e.g. a man cannot get
an erection with his usual partner, but can with
other women or during masturbation).
Having an erectile problem can be
psychologically devastating and it often destroys
the self-esteem of the female partner as well.

 Erectile disorder refers to more than a total

inability to get an erection; it includes any
inability to get or maintain an erection adequate
for satisfactory sexual performance.
One of the biggest changes in the past year has
been its medicalizationwhereby erectile
disorders are viewed as a medical problem
resulting from organic causes that should be
treated with medical solutions.

Male Orgasmic Disorder

Male orgasmic disorder refers to a difficulty
reaching orgasm and ejaculating in a womans
vagina, and it can be either primary or
secondary.

Female Sexual Problems

Sexual Desire Disorders: Hypoactive Sexual
Desire and Sexual Aversion
Estimates of hypoactive sexual desire among women
range form 5% to 50%.
The definition of female hypoactive sexual desire be
the persistent or recurrent deficiency of sexual
fantasies/thoughts, and/or desire for or receptivity to
sexual activity, which causes personal distress.
Similarly, sexual aversion disorder is defined as the
persistent or recurrent phobic aversion to and
avoidance of sexual contact with a sexual partner,
which causes personal distress.