1

Interpersonal
Communication

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

Defining Communication
Communication: the process of a sender transmitting a message to
a receiver with mutual understanding.

Sender has two options after transmitting the message:

Assume the receiver understands (one-way communication).
Check to see if the message has been understood by:

Questioning
Encouraging

responses and questions

Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing: the process of having the receiver restate the

message in his or her own words.

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

The Goals of Communication

...are to inform and / or to express feelings, instruct, influence
or inspire and to integrate.

Steps in the communication process:

1. Select the transmission media.
2. Send the message.
3. Receive the message.
4. Respond to the message.

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

The Communication Process

Step 1
Select
transmission
media (encode)

Step 2
Send the message
(transmission mediaoral, written, nonverbal)

Step 3
Message
received
(decode)

Step 4
Response to message
(not always requiredresponse may be a
role reversal)

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

Transmission Media

Oral communications
Face-to-face
Telephone
Meetings
Presentations

Nonverbal
communications

Facial expressions
Vocal qualities
Gestures
Posture

Written communications
Memos
Letters
Reports
Bulletin boards
Posters
Computers/e-mail
Fax

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

Sending Messages

Planning the message

WHAT is the goal of the message?

- To inform, and / or to express feelings, instruct, influence or inspire
or to integrate;
-

Remember once you have uttered / written words, they can no longer be
taken back;
Always construct your messages with the receiver clearly in mind;
Put yourself in the shoe of the receiver.

WHO should receive the message?

- Know your receiver (i.e. personality type, motivational drive, etc.)

HOW will you encode the message?

- The channel used in the transmission of a message is a crucial factor
in this stage;
- Upward / downward communication

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

Sending Messages

Planning the message

WHEN will you transmit the message?

- Proper timing of a messages transmission is essential to meet
appropriate objectives

WHERE will you transmit the message?

-

during meetings, informal gatherings, announced by media, etc.

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

The Message-Sending Process Model

Step 1.
Step 2.
Step 3.
Step 4.
Step 5.

Develop rapport.
State the communication objective.
Transmit the message.
Check understanding.
Get a commitment and follow up.

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

Guidelines for Effective Criticism

Give more praise than criticism.
Criticize immediately.
Criticism should be performance oriented.
Give specific and accurate criticism.
Open on a positive note and close by repeating what
action is needed.

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

10

The Art of Listening

Effective listening lays the foundation for success. It enables you to tap into the vast
resources available to you and to tune into he flow of information, that can make you
a better supervisor, a more effective employee and a truly successful person.
Listening is not just a skill, it is a gift.

What is Listening?
Listening is a powerful yet neglected ingredient of communication. It is an
essential building block to achieving personal effectiveness, organizational
productivity and superior client service;
Listening is more than hearing;
Listening is the accurate perception of what is being communicated;
Listening is a skill that anyone can learn;
Listening is not a passive process.

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11

Levels of Listening
3. Projective
The receiver listens without evaluation to the full
message, attempting to understand the senders
viewpoint.

2. Evaluative
The receiver listens carefully until hearing
something that is not accepted.
Listening ends and the response to
the incomplete message is
developed.

1. Marginal

Empathic Listening:
The ability to understand
and relate to anothers
situation and feelings.
McGraw-Hill/Irwin

The receiver does not

listen carefully.
The message is not
heard or
understood with
mutual assent.

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

12

Dealing with Emotional Employees

Understanding feelings

Calming the emotional employee

Feelings are subjective.

Feelings are usually disguised as factual statements.
Feelings are neither right nor wrong.
Never tell the employee that they shouldnt feel the way they do.
Never chastise them for their feelings.
Never tell them that you know how they feel.

Empathic listening

Dont argue with the employee.

Identify their feelings without agreeing or disagreeing.
After dealing with emotions, go on to work on content.

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2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

13

Projective Listening (I)

Listening
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.

Pay attention.
Avoid distractions.
Stay tuned in.
Do not assume and interrupt.
Watch for nonverbal cues.
Ask questions.
Take notes.
Convey meaning.

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14

Projective Listening (II)

Analyzing
9. Think.
10. Evaluate after listening.
11. Evaluate facts presented.

Speaking
12. Paraphrase first.
13. Watch for nonverbal cues.

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2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

15

Responding to Employees
Feedback: the process of verifying messages.
Type of feedback:
360 degree feedback
Guidelines for obtaining feedback
Be open to feedback
Be aware of nonverbal communication
Ask questions
Paraphrasing

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2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

16

Response Styles
Response

Description

Appropriate Situation

Evaluating
Accepts, rejects, passes judgment, When asked for advice, direction or
or offers advice. opinion; when autocratic supervisory
style is appropriate.
Confronting
the message.

Challenges sender to clarify

or omissions in the message.

When sender is unaware of mistakes

Diverting
Changing the subject, redirect,
close, or limit flow of message.
to those of the sender.

As part of autocratic/consultative style,

to relate experiences or feelings similar

Probing
Tries to get more information,
improve understanding with
what questions

With participative supervisory styles,

early in message

Reassuring

When sender lacks confidence.

Reflecting

Reduces intensity of emotions

Paraphrases message back to

sender, to demonstrate understanding of the message
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With participative supervisory style,

improves understanding when used in
the early stages of the message.
2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

17

Personality Types

FACTORS:

EXPRESSER

DRIVER

RELATER

ANALYTICAL

How to
Recognize:

They get
excited

They like their

own way;
decisive &
strong
viewpoints.

They like
positive
attention, to be
helpful & to be
regarded
warmly

They seek a lot of

data, ask many
questions, behave
methodically, &
systematically

Tends to
Ask:

Who?
(the personal
dominant
question)

What?
(the results
oriented
question)

Why?
(the personal
non-goal
question)

How?
(technical,
analytical
question)

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2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

18

Personality Types

FACTORS:

EXPRESSER

DRIVER

What they
dislike:

Boring
explanations /
wasting time
with not much
facts

Someone
wasting their
time trying to
decide for
them

Reacts to
pressure &
tension by:

Selling their
ideas / being
argumentative

Taking charge Becoming

/ taking more silent,
control
withdraws,
introspective

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

RELATER

Rejection,
impersonal
treatment,
uncaring &
unfeeling
attitudes

ANALYTICAL

Committing an
error, being
unprepared,
spontaneity

Seeking more
data &
Information

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

19

Personality Types

FACTORS:

Best way to
deal with
them is by:

EXPRESSER

Getting excited
Letting them be
with them and
in-charge
showing emotion

Likes to be
Applause,
measured by: feedback &
recognition

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

DRIVER

Results & goals

RELATER

ANALYTICAL

Being supportive Providing lots of

& show you care data & information

Friends & close

relationships

Activities and
businesses leading
to results

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

20

Personality Types

FACTORS:

EXPRESSER

DRIVER

RELATER

ANALYTICAL

Must be
allowed to:

Get ahead
Get into a
quickly and be competitive
challenged
situation and
win

Relax, feel,
Make decisions
care, and know at own pace, and
that you care
not be cornered
or pressured

Will
improve
with:

Recognition
and some
structure with
which o reach
the goal

A structure of
goals &
methods for
achieving each
goal

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

A position that
requires
cooperation
with others

Interpersonal &
communication
skills

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

21

Personality Types

FACTORS:

EXPRESSER

DRIVER

Like to
save:

Effort by relying
heavily on
hunches,
intuition &
feelings

Time. They
like to be
efficient and
get things
done now!

For best
results:

Inspire them to
Allow them
bigger & better
freedom o do
accomplishments things their
own way

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

RELATER

ANALYTICAL

Relationships.
Friendship
means a lot to
them

Face. They hate

making an error,
being wrong or
getting caught
without enough
info.

Care & provide

detail, specific
plans &
activities to be
accomplished

Structure a
framework or a
track to
follow.

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

22

Communication Styles
PASSIVE

ASSERTIVE

AGGRESSIVE

Definition

Communication style
in which you put the
rights of others before
your own self worth

Communication style
in which you stand up
for your rights while
maintaining respect
for the rights of others

Communication style
in which you stand
up for you rights but
you violate the rights
of others

Implication to
Others

My feelings are not

important

We are both
important

Your feelings are not

important

I dont matter

We both matter

You dont matter

I think Im inferior

I think we are equal

I think Im superior

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2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

23

Communication Styles
PASSIVE

ASSERTIVE

AGGRESSIVE

Verbal Styles

Apologetic;
Overly soft or tentative
voice

I statements;
Firm Voice

You statements;
Loud Voice

Non-Verbal Styles

Looking down or away;

Stooped posture, excessive
head nodding

Looking directly;
Relaxed posture,
smooth and relaxed
movements

Staring, narrow eyes;

Tense, clenched fists,
rigid posture, pointing
fingers

Potential
Consequences

Lowered self-esteem;
Anger at self;
False feelings of inferiority;
Disrespect from others;
Pitied by others

Higher self-stem;
Self respect;
Respect from others;
Respect of others

Guilt;
Anger from others;
Lowered self-esteem;
Disrespect from
others;
Feared by others

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights

24

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

2002 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., All Rights