Active Listening and

Reflective Response

One of the basic building blocks of

communication -- and one of the most
difficult skills to learn and practice is
--effective listening.

We all spend much of our time hearing other

people speak, but not necessarily listening
to what they are really saying.

Subordinates Career

Effective Negotiations

Interview Candidates

Active Listening, a comprehensive

approach to the task of listening.

Reflective Response, a particular

responding technique that is based
upon Western concepts of the role
of feelings in interpersonal
relationships

Active Listening
A general approach to listening that helps you gain
more information, improve you understanding of
other points of view, and work cooperatively with
superiors, subordinates, and peers.
This approach requires not just that you learn and
remember more of what the other party has said,
but also you communicate your interest and
involvement to that party as well

An Active Listener
Looks and sounds interested in the speaker.
Communicate your interest by maintaining good
eye contact.
Maintain a body position and facial expression that
indicate attentiveness, not boredom.
Nod encouragingly to show understanding and
interest.
Use vocalizations such as uh-huh and yes to
encourage him to continue.

Adopts the speakers point of view

See things from her point of view.
Try to listen, not to interrupt, finish sentences, or
rush the speaker.
Try to suppress your initial reactions.
Try to listen and respond form the speakers frame
of reference, not your own
Listen for her feelings, not just her words.
Try to empathize with her position.
Until you thoroughly understand the speakers
point of view.

Clarifies the speakers thoughts and

feelings
Limits your talking to things that will contribute to
getting the fullest informational and emotional
content from the speaker.
Avoid inserting your own marginally related
experiences and minimize interruptions
Ask open-ended questions rather than questions
that can be answered in a single word or phrase.
Use reflective response techniques to check the
accuracy of your understanding of the speakers
ideas and especially feelings.

Reflective Response
This technique involves reflecting back to the speaker what you believe
she has said in order to verify (or clarify) your understanding and to
encourage the speaker to continue elaborating on her point of view.
Reflect the speakers thoughts and feelings. Restate what you believe
the speaker has said to check for the accuracy of your understanding.
Reflect back the speakers feelings as you have heard or inferred them.
This interpretation of feelings is, more tricky in that it often requires you
to read between the lines, to infer feelings underlying what has been
said.
Thus you may want to use wording or voice tone make your inferences
into questions, rather than statements.

Respond rather than lead the

conversation
Let the speakers thoughts and feelings be your guide in the
conversation.
Dont guide the conversation by asking questions or
interjecting ideas or suggestions that take the speaker into
new areas of interest to you.
Instead respond to and reflect back what he actually said or
what you sense is implied by what he said.
Try to stay within the speakers frame of reference, rather
than asking questions or making suggestions that come from
your own fame of reference.

Respond to feelings, rather than

content
Feelings are generally a better indication of
personal meanings than content is.
You will help the speakers self-exploration more
by responding to her feelings than to the content.
You can get at a persons feelings better by
responding to the more personal aspects of what
she says.
Whenever possible, choose the specific, personal
points.

Reflective vs. Directive Responses

o Reflective technique is not always
appropriate to the circumstances and to
your needs or purposes.
o All times, you may want to be more directive
and less reflective in your interactions.
o You may want to argue, advise, or confront.
o You need to consider when to use it, when
to shift from that mode to a more directive
mode, and when not to be reflective at all.

o Active listening with reflective responses is

often the first stage of an interaction.
o Once you feel you really understand the
persons perspective, you can switch to a
more directive or confronted or persuasive
stance.

Nonverbal Communication
Communication frequently involves more than a
verbal message.
Nonverbal communication plays a central role in
human behavior.
Nonverbal behavior such as eye contact, facial
movements, and use of personal space vary form
one culture to another.
Kinesics (study of bodily movement)
Proxemics (study of personal space and
territoriality)

Movements Have Symbolic Meaning

Emblems
Movements which have a direct verbal
translation, generally a word or phrase.
These are often culture specific. Hook em
Horns
Recognizable emblems would include AOK and Victory

Illustrators
Illustrators are nonverbal cues directly
linked with words
Allow us to accent or emphasize words or
ideas.

Affect Displays
Affect displays are body movements which
reveal our affective, or emotional, state.
o Facial cues are the primary way we reveal
our feelings nonverbally.
o Affect displays can be used to influence
others.
o Affect displays may also be emotional
expressions and not necessarily symbolic.

Regulators
Nonverbal cues which regulate interaction.
Individuals utilize eye behavior, and heed
nodding to regulate conversation.

Adaptors
Movements that satisfy personal needs
and help you adapt to your environment.
Adaptors may also be behaviors or
objects that are manipulated for purpose.
Adaptors include behaviors like yawning
and moving/adjusting your glasses

Eye Contact and Facial Behavior

In interpersonal and group communications,
we generally are communicating something
by looking or not looking at someone.
The eyes can indicate thought processes, or
the cognitive function.
It is common for many people to glance
away when they are thinking.

 Eyes can also perform a monitoring function

Eye contact also helps to regulate the flow of
communication.
Direct eye contact suggests a willingness to
respond.
The eyes can also offer insight to emotions
and feelings as part of their expressive
function.

 Facial behavior expresses emotions we

experience internally and is particularly
intentional.
It is a very visible part of communication.
Facial expressions are particularly useful
for indicating our clarity or confusion over
the content in a message.

Space and Territoriality

- Intimate Zone

- Personal Zone

Physical contact to 18 inches

Common zone for intimate relationships

18 inches to 4 feet
Common zone for interpersonal communications

- Social Zone

4 feet to 10 - 12 feet
Normal distance used in work settings

- Public Zone

10 12 feet and beyond

Communication at this distance is general formal

 The distance is normally determined by

social and cultural norms and the unique
patterns of those interacting.
Cultural norms are important in
determining the use of personal space in
communication situations.

Latin
American
SMALL
SPACE

Arab

French

American German

Japanese
LARGE
SPACE

The concept of territoriality is borrowed from

studies of animal behavior, but humans, too,
claim particular areas.

It is important to remember that:

The context of nonverbal behavior is
relevant.
Individuals respond differently to different
situations.
Cultural norms affect peoples reactions to
nonverbal cues.

Six Ways to Grab Your Audience

Right from the Start
Make it personal
Throw out a quirky fact
Put them on the edge of their seats
Draw a hypothetical scenario
Create a series of vignettes
Use a pertinent quote
Dont cast your line without first baiting your
hook

Giving and Receiving Feedback

Why Feedback?
Formal appraisals.
Effective feedback benefits the giver as much as
the receiver.
Listening to your audiences before, during, and
after a business communication will often
determine whether your message achieves your
goal.
Seeking and wisely interpreting feedback are
essential to your personal success as a manager
and communicator.

Two major factors inhibit both downward

and upward feedback in many business
communication situations:
Firstly, nobody likes to get bad news.
Second, hierarchical organizations have a
tendency to become less and less receptive
to both downward and upward feedback.

Several factors inhibit feedback in organizations:

Human beings prefer to command rather than
confer.
Managers like to hoard information because it
gives them a sense of power.
Everyone is prone to tell the boss what she
wants to hear.
Listening takes time.

Several key factors determine

the effectiveness of most
managerial feedback

Timing
o Feedback long delayed rarely works.
o Occasions also exist where feedback can
come too soon.

 Objectivity
Empowerment
Trust

Giving Feedback to Peers and

Subordinates
Evaluate Strengths and Weaknesses in
Light of Agreed-upon Goals and Objectives.
Commend where possible.

Evaluation Feedback

1.
2.
3.

People giving you feedback on a specific

performance-period, communication, or
proposal may respond in three ways:
They can report their experiences as
workmates, readers, or listeners.
They
can
identify
strengths
and
weaknesses.
They can suggest improvements in your
analysis or plan of action.

 First, look for misunderstanding.

Second, look for valid arguments against
your position
Third, look for unanticipated grounds or
opposition
Fourth, value those suggestions on how
you can perform or communicate better.

Rosabeth Moss Kanter and Derick

Brinkerhoff write
No amount of human relations techniques
can change the fact that evaluations
represent the exercise of power and
authority by superiors over subordinates.

Admiral Hyman Rickover

Always use the chain of command to issue
orders, but if you use the chain of command
for information, you re dead.

Effective Leadership
Communications: Its More than
Talk

Establishing effective leadership

communications isnt a simple task,
but it does boil down to following
some fairly simple rules

 Be consistent.
Establish clear goals.
Set a good example.
Emphasize that everyone, across the
company
needs
to
communicate
effectively.

A brilliant strategy doesnt work

unless everyone understands and
believes in it. That takes
communication, says Chuck
Snearly

Giving a voice to leadership

Impact on the culture

o Walk into a place with healthy open
communications and you find people
energized and alive.
o If people from the top to the bottom of your
organization dont understand your strategy,
then you dont have one.

o These leadership messages are designed

to gain commitment from employees and
create a bond of trust between leader and
follower.

Some steps you can take to initiate

effective leadership
communications

Be consistent.
Set clear, credible targets.
Gain commitment from key stakeholders.

Engage the hearts and minds of your people.

Excite them with the possibilities and then ask
for their commitment.

 Coach, coach, coach.

Always provide plenty of feedback.

Be out front.
Issue calls to action.
Emphasize that everyone
communicate effectively.
Choose the media wisely.

needs

to

Enable listening
It is absolutely critical for the leader to
facilitate two-ways communication

How the British Bulldog Made

Himself Heard
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

Get their attention.

Repeat regularly.
Bring language to life.
End powerfully.
Use simple gestures.
Pause.