Vous êtes sur la page 1sur 36

Chapter12

Power and Violence

Miller
IntimateRelationships,6/e

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

Copyright (c) 2012 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

PowerandInterdependency

Poweristheabilitytoinfluencethebehavior
ofothersandtoresisttheirinfluenceonus.

12-2

PowerandInterdependency
SourcesofPower
Fromaninterdependencyperspective,powerisbased
onthecontrolofvaluableresources.
Oneneednotnecessarilypossesstheseresources;oneneeds
onlytocontrolaccesstothem.
Onespowervarieswiththeotherpersonsdesireand
needfortheresource.
Onespowerisreducedifthedesiredresourcesare
readilyavailableelsewhere.

12-3

PowerandInterdependency
SourcesofPower
Theprincipleoflesserinterestobservesthatthe
partnerwhoislessdependentonthe
relationshipwhodesiresitlesshasmore
powerinthatrelationship.
Ifyourpartnerlovesandneedsyoumorethanyoulovehimor
her,youllgettodowhatyouwantmoreoftenthannot.
12-4

PowerandInterdependency
SourcesofPower
Therearetwodifferentbroadtypesofpower:
Fatecontrolallowsonetocontrolapartnersoutcomesno
matterwhatthepartnerdoes.
Behaviorcontrolallowsonetoencourage,butnotcompel,
desiredbehaviorfromapartner.
12-5

PowerandInterdependency
SourcesofPower
Inalmostallrelationships,thepartnersbothhave
powerovereachother,sothateachisabletogetthe
othertodowhatheorshewantssomeofthetime.
Thus,onepartnersabilitytoinfluencetheotherisoften
matchedbyconsiderablecounterpoweroftheotherpartner
overthefirst.
12-6

PowerandInterdependency
TypesofResources
Sixdifferentresourcesprovidepeoplepower
overothers:

Rewardpower
Coercivepower
Legitimatepower
Referentpower
Expertpower
Informationalpower

12-7

PowerandInterdependency
TypesofResources
Rewardpoweristheabilitytobestowdesiredrewards;
thesemaybeeithertangible,materialgoodsor
intangible,interpersonalbenefits.

12-8

PowerandInterdependency
TypesofResources
Coercivepoweristheabilitytolevyunwanted
punishments,doingsomethingapartnerdoesntlike,
ortakingawaysomethingthepartnerdoeslike.

12-9

PowerandInterdependency
TypesofResources
Legitimatepowerexistswhenonepartnerhasa
reasonablerightbydintofauthority,equity,or
reciprocitytotelltheotherwhattodo.

12-10

PowerandInterdependency
TypesofResources
Referentpoweremergesfromrespectandlovefora
partner.Affectionandadorationfromanother
providesonesomeabilitytoinfluencethatother
person.

12-11

PowerandInterdependency
TypesofResources
Expertpowerexistswhenonepartnerhassuperior
knowledgeandexperiencethatisrecognizedand
acknowledgedbytheother.
Finally,informationalpowerexistswhenonepartner
hasspecificpiecesofinformationthattheother
wants.
12-12

PowerandInterdependency
Men,Women,andtheControlofResources
Menandwomenfaceadisparityinrelative
resources.
Someresourcesthatprovidepeoplepowercanbe
usedmoreflexiblythanotherscan.
Universalisticresources(suchasmoney)canbeexchanged
withalmostanyoneinawidevarietyofsituations.
Particularisticresourcesarevaluableinsomesituationsand
notinothers,andtheyconferpowertotheirowneronlywith
particularpartners.
12-13

PowerandInterdependency
Men,Women,andtheControlofResources
Loveisaparticularisticresource.Wehavereferent
poweroveronewholovesus,butthatpowerislimited
tothatlover,andnooneelse.
Ifmencontrolmoreuniversalisticresourcesthatarewidely
influentialinsociallife,andwomencontrolmoreparticularistic
resources,itshouldntsurpriseustofindmenbeingmore
influentialthanwomeninmanyrelationships.
12-14

PowerandInterdependency
Men,WomenandtheControlofResources
Inadditiontothedisparityinrelativeresources,

Socialnormssupportandmaintainmaledominance.
Worldwidemostculturesarestillgovernedbyanormof
patriarchy.
Americanstendtothinkwomenaremorehonest,
intelligent,compassionate,andcreative,whichmakes
themgoodleaders.
Butculturalnormsstillkeepwomeninplace.
12-15

PowerandInterdependency
TheProcessofPower
Theprocessofpowerreferstothemannerinwhich
powerisexpressed.
Conversation:
Menandwomenbehavesimilarlywhentheyaretalkingto
othersofthesamesex.Butininteractionswiththeother
sex,meninterruptwomenmorethanviceversa.Mensay
morethanwomendo,too.
12-16

PowerandInterdependency
TheProcessofPower
NonverbalBehavior:
Womenuselessassertiveeyecontact,bodymovement,
andtouchwithmenthanwithotherwomen.
Thisissensible:Womentendtogettheirwaywhenthey
useauthoritativebehaviorwithotherwomen,butthey
makepoorerimpressionswhentheydirectsuchbehavior
towardmen.

12-17

PowerandInterdependency
TheProcessofPower
NonverbalSensitivity:
Womendecodeothersnonverbalcommunicationsmore
accuratelythanmendo.Thisisaveryusefulskill,but
powerfulpeopletendtoberelativelyinsensitivetoothers
feelings.

12-18

PowerandInterdependency
TheProcessofPower
StylesofPower:
Influencetacticsmaybeovertanddirect,orindirectand
implicit.
Theyarealsobilateral,involvingbothmembersofa
coupleinnegotiationandbargaining,orunilateral,with
individualsdoingwhattheywantwithoutinvolvingtheir
partners.
12-19

PowerandInterdependency
TheProcessofPower
StylesofPower(continued):
Therearenosexdifferencesinthetacticspeopleusein
samesexpartnerships,butmentendtobemoredirectand
bilateral,andwomenmoreindirectandunilateral,in
heterosexualrelationships.
Moreoftenthanwomen,mencomerightoutandaskfor
whattheywant.Bycomparison,womenmoreoftenhint
about,butdonotannounce,theirpreferences.
12-20

PowerandInterdependency
TheProcessofPower
StylesofPower(continued):
Menandwomendifferinthismannerfortworeasons.
First,masculinepeopletendtobemoredirectandbilateralthanfemininepeople
are.
Second,andmoreimportantly,traditionalnormsaccordhusbandsmorestatus
thanwives,andhighstatuspeoplearemoredirectandbilateralthanpeopleof
lowerstatusare.

12-21

PowerandInterdependency
TheProcessofPower
StylesofPower(continued):
Thesenormsaregraduallychanging,andthatmaybeagoodthing:
Peoplewhohavetohintandpouttoget(someof)whattheywanttend
tobelesscontentthanarethosewhocancomerightoutandaskfor
whattheydesire.

12-22

PowerandInterdependency
TheOutcomeofPower
Inacultureofmaledominance,weoftenunwittingly
perpetuategenderinequalitiesinourdailyinteractions.
Thesesubtleimbalancesofpowercanbehardtodetect.
Butthelatestdatasuggestweshouldstrivetocreate
romanticpartnershipsgivingbothpartnerswishesequal
weight.
Whilewomenbenefitmorethanmendo,bothmenand
womenarehappierinequalpartnerships.
12-23

TheTwoFacesofPower
Theresadarksidetopower.
Somepeopleactivelyseektobethetopdogsintheir
relationships,andtheytendtobecontrolling,
domineeringpeoplewhohaveunhappypartners.

12-24

TheTwoFacesofPower
However,whentheyarecommittedtoarelationship,many
peopleusepowerbenevolently,generouslyenhancingtheir
partnerswellbeingaswellastheirown.

Powerneednotbeacorrosive,deleteriousthing.
Committed,happyloversoftenusetheirinfluencetobenefit
theirpartnersandtoenhance,ratherthanundermine,their
mutualcontentment.
12-25

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
Violenceinvolvesactscarriedoutwiththeintentionof
physicallyhurtinganotherperson.
Violentactionsrangefromthosethatdolittleharm,suchas
grabbingorpushing,toothersthatinflictatrociousinjury.

12-26

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
ThePrevalenceofViolence
ViolenceisasAmericanasapplepie:
22%ofthewomenand7%ofthemenintheU.S.have
experiencedaviolentassaultbyanintimatepartner.
Violenceoccursmoreofteninthesamesexrelationshipsof
menthanwomen.Ethnicitymatters,too.
12-27

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
TypesofCoupleViolence
Therearefourdistincttypesofviolenceinromanticcouples:
Situationalcoupleviolenceeruptsfromspecificangry
argumentsthatgetoutofhand.
Inintimateterrorism,onepartnerusesviolenceasatoolto
controlandoppresstheother.
Mutualviolentcontrol,whichisuncommon,occurswhen
bothpartnersengageinintimateterrorism.
Violentresistanceoccurswhenapartnerforciblyfightsback.
12-28

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
TypesofCoupleViolence
Situationalcoupleviolence(SCV)andintimateterrorism(IT)are
themorecommonformsofcoupleviolence.
MenandwomenengageinsimilaramountsofSCV,butahuge
majorityofthosewhouseITaremen.

12-29

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
GenderDifferencesinIntimateViolence
Womenactviolentlytowardstheirhusbandsjustasoftenasmen
actviolentlytowardtheirwives.
However,menaremorelikelytocauseinjuries.
Menarealsomorelikelytouseviolenceasatoolinanongoing
patternofdominationandforce.
12-30

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
CorrelatesofViolence
Mostactsofintimateviolencearesituationalcouple
violence(SCV),butsomeisintimateterrorism(IT).
SCV:
Instigatingtriggers
Impellinginfluences(distal,dispositional,relational,or
situational)
Inhibitinginfluences(distal,dispositional,relational,or
situational)

12-31

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
CorrelatesofViolence
Violenceislesslikely:
Inculturespromotinggenderequality
Inconscientiouspeople
Incoupleswithgoodproblemsolvingskills
Incoupleswhoaresatisfiedwiththeirrelationship
Insoberpeople(alcoholusefuelsIPV)
Inspousesthanincohabitingcouples
Incohabitingcouplesthanindatingpartners
12-32

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
TheRationalesofViolence
Menwhoarespouseabusersfeelsuperiortowomenand
believethattheiraggressionisalegitimateresponseto
theprovocationanddisrespecttheyreceivefromtheir
wives.
Theyalsomaintain,becausetheydonotenjoyhurtingwomenand
didlessdamagethantheycouldhave,thattheyarenotreal
abusers.

12-33

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
TheRationalesofViolence
Womenwhoencountersuchviolencefeelbetrayed,but
theysometimesblamethemselvesfortheirpartners
aggression.

12-34

ViolenceandAbuseinRelationships
WhyDontTheyAllLeave?
Mostbatteredwomeneitherendtheviolenceorleavetheir
partners.
However,aboutathirdstay.Theybelievethat,despitethe
abuse,theywillnotbebetteroffiftheygo
perhapsbecausetheyhavenomoneyandnoplacetogo,or
becausetheyfearevengreaterviolenceiftheyleave.

12-35

ForYourConsideration
Duringtheirfirstyearofmarriage,BritniandJonathonfellintoapatterinwhichhe
balancedthecheckbookandpaidalltheirbillseachmonth.Shewasstillaseniorin
collegeanddidnthaveajob,buthewasworkingandearningenoughmoneytolive
oneachmonthiftheywerecareful.Hetookprideinhisprudentmanagementof
money,butbothofthemweregladwhenshegraduatedandgotagreatjobthat
actuallypaidheralittlemorethanJonathonsdid.
Hewassurprised,however,whensheannouncedthatshewantedtomaintainherown
checkingandsavingsaccounts.Shesuggestedthattheyeachputhalftheirearnings
intoajointaccountthatwouldpaythebillsandthenkeeptherestoftheirmoneyfor
theirownuse.Hewashurtthatshedidnotwanttomergetheirmoniesandjoin
financialforces,andhewasannoyedwhenherealizedthat,iftheyeachkepthalftheir
money,shewouldhavealotmoremoneythathewouldinafewyears.Butshe
arguedthatshewantedtobeallowedtodowhatshewantedwithherextraearnings,
spendingorinvestingthemasshesawfit,andshethoughtthatseparateaccounts
wouldactuallyavoiddisagreementsandconflict.
WhatdoyouthinkthefutureholdsforBritniandJonathon?Why?

12-36