The 7 Habits of Highly

Effective People
Powerful Lessons in Personal
Change
Session 1:

Problems and Solutions

I had a problem, a big one

I had a well paid job. My boss is

really nice. I saw a bright career path
in front of me.
I lived out of my own country and far
from my family.
I failed multiple times in
relationships. I felt lonely after I went
home. I wanted to have my own
family.
I am not happy!
In fact, everybody had one
I am having tremendous professional
success, but its cost me personal and
family life.
I know Im overweight. I tried all the ways
without success.
My employees are always waiting for me to
give them orders. I am tired of that.
I am too busy. I feel pressured and hassled
all day, every day, seven days a week.
My kid wont listen to me anymore
There is no love in my marriage. We dont
feel it anymore.
Whats the biggest problem
you are facing?
At work
In family
Relationship
Health
Time
Meaning of life
Death
What to do with the problem?

Put it aside, try not to think

about it
Worry about it

Talk about it

Work on it!
Deal with the problem

Acknowledge the problem

A problem cannot be solved if we
pretend that it doesnt exist
A real problem cannot be hidden
A real problem wont go away
Define the problem
Whats bothering me most? Why?
Write it down
Solve the problem
How?
New Level of Thinking

The significant
problems we face
cannot be solved at
the same level of
thinking we were at
when we created
them
Albert Einstein
The way we see the problem
is the problem
Its out there. Its the problem of the
others.
We look at the symptoms and ignore the
root cause
We expect some magic techniques and
quick fixes. The real solution may be a long
process and require significant efforts
Examples:
Employees lack of loyalty
Marriage without love
Always busy, but little accomplished
How to see differently?
Paradigm - How do we see
things?
The lens we all wear
We all see things through our own Paradigms,
which are our own ways of thinking.
We may not know the paradigm exists, like
contact lens. We think what we see is objective.
But it may not be.
Two people can see the same thing, disagree
and yet both be right.
Our unique experience creates the lens
Family
Education
Environment
Culture
Power of the Paradigm
Paradigm is our map
Reality, the way things are, where are we now.
Value, the way things should be, where do we
want to be
Paradigm determines
Our attitudes
Our behaviors

Wrong map
Try to find ways in
New York using a
map of Chicago.
Working on
attitudes and
behaviors wont
help.
What to do with our
Paradigms?
Be aware of them
Take responsibilities of them,
examine them, test them against
reality
Listen to others, be open to their
perspectives
Get the large picture
Paradigm shift - See things
differently
Paradigm shift is powerful
Fundamentally change our attitudes and
behaviors
The only way for us to make
significant and quantum changes
Science
From Earth center to Sun center
From bloodletting to gem theory
Society
From Kings to Democracy
Life
Life threaten crisis
Step into a new role
Solve our problems
What are the maps we are using?
The way we see things
The way we handle things
Are the maps correct?
Can they explain our current situation?
Can we get to the destination using
them?
Are we lost using the current map?
Change the map
Thoughts about my own
problem
My old paradigms
There is only successful career path for me. I
rely on my boss to promote me in the company
ladder. To be successful in career, I have to live
in United States.
My perfect partner will fall into my life from
heaven. We will fall in love immediately and be
happy ever after. I just need to wait.
Love is sweet and all about happiness.
As long as I have a family, every problem will be
resolved.
My attitude and behaviors are solely based
on those paradigms.
Are they correct?
Whats the correct map?
Principles
Real, unchanging,
unarguable and self-
evident as natural laws
Universally applicable
among different
societies and religions
Examples
Only if you are trustworthy, you can earn
long term trust
Principles determine the results
Correct map are Principle-Centered
Principles, Practices and
Values
Principles vs. Practices
Guidelines vs. Activities
Universal application vs.
Situation Specific
Always true vs. Work in
some circumstances
Principle empowers
people to create variety of
practices to deal with
different situations

Principles vs. Value

Objective territory vs. Map
How to change the map?

Inside-out
Start with yourself
Paradigms
Characters
Motives
Private victory precedes public victory
Keep Promise to ourselves before to others
Improve ourselves before improve the
relationships
Work on our characters before work on
personalities
Continuing renewal process
Inside-out examples
To have a good marriage
Generate positive energy
Sidestep negative energy
To have a pleasant, cooperative teenager
More understanding
Empathic
Consistent
Loving
To have more freedom, more latitude in
your job
Be more responsible
More helpful
More contributing
To be trusted
Be trustworthy
Put the map inside us,
permanently
Characters
Relatively permanent
Distinguishing features
Manifest when relates to
others and reacts to various
kinds of challenges
Examples
Courage
Honesty
Loyalty
Characters determine our destiny
Determine our actions and reactions
Determine how people see us and treat us
Characters Ethic vs.
Personalities Ethic
Characters Ethic
The foundation of success
come from the Characters
like Integrity, Humility,
Courage
Personalities Ethic
Human and Public
Relationship techniques
Positive Mental Attitude
Characters vs.
Personalities
Inside-out vs. Outside-in
Permanent vs.
Inconsistent
Natural vs. Artificial
The New Paradigm

The new level of thinking

Principle-centered
Character-based

Inside-out
Principles of Growth

Growth are sequential

Multiple Stages
The later stage is built
upon the previous one
Each one is important.
None can be skipped
Each one takes time

Example: Learning to run

Turn over, sit up, crawl, walk, run
The Paradigm Change
Process
Its a continuing
renewal process
Learn the principles
Build the characters

Start with ourselves

Emotional Development Level

Listening to others requires Patience,
Openness, Desire to understand
No quick fixes. No shortcut
Conclusion

Solution to your problem

Change the way you see the it

Whats next?
We learned
Our significant problems are the fruits of
our own paradigms, the lens we wear
and the maps we use
Our problems can only be solved by
paradigm shifts.
A correct paradigm is Principle-
Centered, Character-based, Inside-out
Paradigm shift takes a continuing
renewal process
Whats missing
A actionable process to guide us in
making the paradigm shift
Next Session

Session 2

The Overview of The 7 Habits