Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
Class 13
Taught by
Fazil Munir BA JD Esq
Today’s Lesson
• Descriptive Writing AKA Show Not Tell
• (Excellent to work on description in the
revision phase)
Imagination- from IMAGE
• Create images in the minds of our reader.
– Writing is a special form of art.
– Most art involves the five senses naturally
• Singers, painters, actors, dancers, etc.
• TRANSCEND the words
• Our goal: create strong feelings and emotions in
our readers. Transport them into your world.
• Webster's New World Dictionary definition for
the verb describe: 2. to picture in words
Importance of Details and Specificity
• In The Elements of Style, William Strunk, Jr.,
writes:
• If those who have studied the art of writing
are in accord on any one point, it is on this:
the surest way to arouse and hold the
attention of the reader is by being specific,
definite and concrete. The greatest writers . . .
are effective largely because they deal in
particulars and report the details that matter.
Show not tell means…
• Vivid writing contains concrete, significant details.
– Concrete- there is an image (something you can see, feel,
etc). Appeals to the 5 senses
• The window was green
• Abstraction- an idea that is NOT experienced by the senses.
– Detail: there is something focused and specific
• (Not a generalization)
• The window was emerald-green
– Significant: the image suggests an abstraction/idea or a
judgment. Shows us the meaning of the details
– The windowsill was shedding flakes of fungus-green paint
• conveys the idea that the paint is old and suggests the judgment
that the color is ugly. The second version can also be seen more
vividly.
• It was a claustrophobic room full of sweaty
hungry, students. The air was heavy with
fingernail-biting dread.
• Pick a person you know. Fictionalize the name, which will also give
you license to alter other characteristics, if you so desire. Now
describe this person as vividly as you can. Here's the catch: you
cannot use a single adjective or adverb. This will force you to use
strong nouns and verbs and employ some of the other techniques
you've picked up in this chapter. Though challenging, you will
probably end up with a very well-drawn picture of this person
Similes and Metaphors
• Both compare two things that are usually unlike; they
use imagery.
• Simile: comparing two essentially unlike things, the
comparison is explicit, usually through using 'like' or
'as' . . .“
– his teeth rattled like dice in a box;
– my head is light as a balloon
• A metaphor is similar but doesn’t tell you there is a
comparison
– my electric muscles shocked the crowd;
– her hair is seaweed and she is the sea.
• Common ones
What is the benefit of similes and
metaphors?
• Powerful ways of describing
– Because they reach into your reader's subconscious,
You're pulling up visual images, remembered
experiences, bits of their own dreams, and showing
them anew.
• two similes from Mary Gaitskill's "A Romantic
Weekend":
– She felt like an object unraveling in every direction.
– His gaze penetrated her so thoroughly, it was as
though he had thrust his hand into her chest and
begun feeling her ribs one by one.
• In Miss Lonelyhearts, his novel about an
advice columnist, Nathanael West, having
originally written “and on most days I received
more than thirty letters, all of them alike, as
though stamped from the dough of suffering
with a heart-shaped cookie knife,”
You must create your own!
• They have been used so many times that they
don’t really have an effect on listeners anymore.
• Too familiar; they neither surprise us nor
illuminate anything new.
• But in fiction, your task is to use similes and
metaphors that are fresh, surprising
• In Calvin Baker's novel Naming the New World, a
man sees the rising sun as a beautiful almond
with honey edges.
– Now, you would never say on a street corner, Wow,
look at that…
Metaphors
• Shakespeare the world is a stage
– the pretense of the actors, the briefness of the play,
the parts that men and women must inevitably play
from babyhood to old age.
• Peter Hoeg, in Smilla’s Sense of Snow, speaks of
rain that “slap me in the face with a wet towel.”
– Not a gentle rain; They hit hard, they sting, and they
seem to hurt on purpose.
• “He was so angry that I thought he was going to
hit me,”
– “His face was a fist.”
Don’t overdo it
• We don’t want the reader to be suffocated in
a thick forest of description.
• Always ask yourself: Does the description
interrupt the flow of the story?
• Emphasize those details which are significant
to the story, character development, setting,
etc.- the telling details.
– (the details which it is important for the reader to
remember).
• Sometimes the emotions of the character can influence the descriptions
• The bloody barn!
• For example, Mary Gordon's novel Men and Angels is told partly from the point of view of a young, disturbed live-
in baby-sitter named Laura, who becomes infatuated with her employer's best friend. Here's what she thinks of
him:
• She knew Adrian really liked her. He said she was a good listener. He was
• 124 WRITING FICTION
• the handsomest man she had ever seen, with his thick gray curly hair, his open shirts, his shoulders. But really she
wanted to be in the room with him without Anne there. If she went on and listened to Adrian, looked into his eyes
when he told her things, praised whatever he said, someday he would like her more than he liked Anne.
• Is Adrian really handsome? Maybe, maybe not. But he is to this character. Will Adrian someday like her? Perhaps
not, but Laura thinks so. This third-person narrator is giving us Laura's perceptions, not objective fact. In Frederic
Tuten's Tallien: A Romance, a first-person narrator reflects on his father, the charismatic union organizer:
• Nobleman that he was, riding down the fields of wrath, his terrible swift sword cutting a swath of fat pinky-ringed
capitalists, defunct leases and eviction notices still clutched in their pudgy fists, Rex, the radical prince of the
Confederacy, under whose ceasefess guard none would suffer except his periodically abandoned family, unpaid
bills rolling up like waves against the door, his decade-old son staring up at the light bulbs, waiting for them, like
stars blinking off into cold cinders, to go dead for failure of payment . . .
• This man's memories of his father are certainly tinged with rage, and the depiction may or may not be objectively
true.
Avoid mixed metaphors
• You can't have Joanne metaphorically
swimming against a tide in one sentence and
climbing a tall mountain a few lines later, or,
worse, in the same sentence.
• If you want your mother to be a fish, fine, but
don't turn her into an elephant three chapters
later.
Appealing to senses
• It is best to think about consequences before
doing something
– Look before you jump.
• It’s important to reassure your offspring of your
affection.
– Have you hugged your child today?
• Not everything that appears to be valuable is
actually valuable
– Not everything that shines is gold,
• Not as preachy
Active verbs
• Margaret Atwood’s Cat’s Eye, in which the
heroine describes the zoology building where her
father worked when she was a child.
• The cellar smells strongly of mouse droppings, a
smell which wafts upward through the whole
building, getting fainter as you go up, mingling
with the smell of green Dustbane used to clean
the floors, and with the other smells, the floor
polish and furniture wax and formaldehyde and
snakes