GETTING READY FOR MARRIAGE

CHOICE OF PARTNER
 One’s goal in life determines his or her
future. Every day one is faced with the
problem of choice making.
 Choosing one`s partner is a crucial
decision that involves discernment.
 Compatibility and other factors would
be an essential component in the choice
of one`s partner
 As a young man or woman, you have a
desire and a choice. There are certain
attributes a you desire in a man and vice
versa. Getting married is easy but having a
happy and successful marriage is not easy.
Therefore absolute care must be taken
when choosing a life partner for happy and
successful family.
THE CHOICE OF A LIFE PARTNER
FOR MEN
 There is a vacuum in every matured
Young man that cannot be filled until he
gets married. “And the Lord, God said it is
not good that the man should be alone; I
will make him a helpmate for him….. And
Adam said, “This is now the bone of my
bone, and the fresh of my fresh: She shall
be called woman, because she was taken
out of man”. Gen. 2:18-23.
 It is God- given task for every man to search for
his missing rib which is his ideal wife. Most men
are very romantic. Women don’t easily get
enticed at sight as they seem to pretend as if they
are not interested in falling in love with
handsome men but right inside them they are
very interested but they find it difficult to
express it. But men can easily express their desire
for a beautiful lady.
 Note that love at first sight is not really true love.
Romantic feelings can be generated very quickly,
but such feelings are not genuine love.
 You may be attracted to someone at first
sight but you cannot genuinely love;
someone you don’t really know. In
searching for your ideal wife as life
partner, there are qualities that you try to
consider.
 As a Christian lady, it is advisable that you
are at least 18 years. Those who marry before
the rightful age for marriage are in trouble
because most teens are not mature enough
to handle marriage. Besides, teen marriage
is twice as likely to end in divorce as
compared to couples who have attained
maturity before marriage. As a Christian,
ensure that your husband to be must be a
believer also.
DATING AND COURTSHIP
God intends that every human being enjoy a HAPPY
MARRIAGE. This is directly tied to whom and how
one dates—and courts—prior to marriage!
DATING
 “an appointment for a specified time;
especially a social engagement between
two persons of opposite sex” (Webster’s
Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary).
 is merely a set time agreed upon by two
people to engage in an activity.
 followed by courtship, is supposed to lead
to a happy marriage. But marriage cannot
be happy if it is not built on the RIGHT
FOUNDATION. Most couples have no idea
that the foundation of a successful
marriage begins long before the wedding
day
COURTSHIP

 “to engage in social activities leading to

engagement and marriage.”
 Courting is a separate but important and
intricate part of the process pointing
toward and leading to marriage.
 Forms of Dating
 Clubs: Perhaps one of the most common settings
for young people today is meeting people through
so-called “dance clubs.” This involves trying to
find potential dates—or more often, one-night
sex partners—in an atmosphere of loud,
pulsating music mixed with drugs and alcohol.
 The atmosphere in these establishments causes
participants to lose all semblance of self-control.
Typically, young women are scantily clad, and it is
common and considered perfectly normal for
men to grope and fondle their bodies at any time
while “dancing.”
 The entire picture revolves around selfish
lust and hoped-for instant gratification!

 Astrology: Others “consult the stars” about

dating. Lacking true knowledge, they seek
their “romance forecast.” To do this, they go
online to find out if they are truly compatible
by taking five-minute quizzes that are
supposed to solve all their dating confusion!
 Online dating: This exploding trend
involves a simple Internet search to select
one or more of the many—seemingly
endless—dating services that all claim to
be able to “help find love.” Those looking
for “a date, sex or a relationship” have
“found the right place!” These sites
profess to “bring passion and excitement
to your life.”
 This trend has turned dating into a “science”
in which the person fills out a questionnaire
often including hundreds of different
questions. After a close analysis, couples are
matched.
 As a direct consequence, however, sex
crimes have also dramatically increased.
 Speed dating: Another recent trend is the
practice of “speed dating.” This is billed as
being able to “put an end to your lonely
nights” because, apparently, it is seen as a
more efficient way to increase your chances of
finding “love.”
 Simply described, it involves a group of
people who sign up for the “speed event.” All
gather and spend five minutes with each
person in a continuing rotation. At the end of
the evening, they choose whom they would
like to date.
 Only five minutes is the basis for their
decision! Physical appearance obviously
turns into the main consideration—and
many are now beginning entire
relationships like this. The rat race that
continues all around us has even taken over
dating, with singles now able to be
“efficient,” rather than “wasting time” on
getting to know one another through a
gradual process.
QUALITIES FOR A STABLE LOVING RELATIONSHIP
 SUPPORT
we all turn to our loved ones for support from
time to time. When your loved one does not
offer you their support it may be time to look at
your relationship. As we all want to nurture
those that we love. We want the best in life for
those that we care about. If your partner is
unwilling to listen to you, and to your
problems, they are not meeting your needs
when you need support. Make sure your
partner gives you support when you need it.
 COMPROMISE
When engaging in a relationship with another
person there is always going to be things that
you do not agree upon. You want to have the
ability to compromise so both partners are
getting their wishes met. In any organization
with more than one person in it, there will be
more than one opinion, work with your partner
to see that both of you can compromise on
different subjects. If someone isn't willing to
compromise, they are not willing to
acknowledge your wants and desires
If they can not acknowledge your wants they
are likely not emotionally developed enough
for you to have your needs met.
OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNCATION
 Open and honest communication is one of the
more desirable qualities you want to have in a
relationship. Watch to see that your partner is
not secretive, nor are they willing to tell lies to
avoid certain subjects. For example, if a partner
is married, and fails to tell you that, you can
rightfully assume if they can lie about big
things, they can lie about small things. While
you may not like everything your partner may
say
 freedom to be honest should be there in your
relationship. Likewise, you need to be open and
honest with your partner; a relationship based
upon false truths is not likely to be successful,
because both partners do not have the correct
frame of reference in the relationship.
 Engage only in relationships where both partners
can openly discuss their wants and needs, this
can take practice. Remember loving relationships
grow and only become better, eliminate those
who do not meet your needs when they
continually fail to support you, will not
compromise, and will not be honest. These three
qualities alone will help you nurture and develop
a deeper relationship with your partner.
STAGES BEFORE GOING INTO MARRIAGE
 FRIENDSHIP
 COURTSHIP
 DATING
GUIDELINES
 Behavior
 Physical appearance
 Budget
 Parents approval
 Public opinion
 FORMAL RELATIONSHIP
 Set rules- do’s and don’ts
 Supportive partner-develop trust and
confidence
 Avoid senseless activity
 Being a friend
 Recognize presence of God
 Sharing and independence
 ENGAGEMENT
 A proposal
 Preparation for marriage
Engagement
 An engagement or betrothal is a promise
to marry, and also the period of time
between proposal and marriage – which
may be lengthy or trivial. During this
period, a couple is said to
be betrothed, affianced, engaged to be
married, or simply engaged.
 Future brides and grooms may be called the
betrothed, a wife-to-be or husband-to-
be, fiancées or fiancés, respectively (from
the French word fiancé). The duration of the
courtship varies vastly.
 Long engagements were once common in
formal arranged marriages and it was not
uncommon for parents betrothing children to
arrange such many years before the engaged
couple were old enough to marry.
Typical steps of a match were
the following:
 Negotiation of a match, usually done by the
couple's families with bride and groom
having varying levels of input, from no
input, to veto power, to a fuller voice in the
selection of marriage partner.
  This is not as widely practiced as it was
historically, although it is still common in
culturally conservative communities
in Israel, India, Africa, and Persian Gulf
countries, although most of these have a
requirement that the bride be at least
allowed veto power.
 Negotiation of bride price or dowry
 In most cultures evolved from Europe, the
modern practice has reduced bride prices or
dowries to the engagement ring
accompanying
 the marriage contract Judaism, while in other
cultures (such as those on the Arabian
Peninsula), these are still part of negotiating a
marriage contract.
 Blessing by the parents and clergy
 Exchange of Vows and Signing of Contracts
 Often one of these is omitted Celebration
BETROTHAL
 A betrothal is considered to be a 'semi-
binding' contract. Normal reasons for
invalidation of a betrothal include:
 Revelation of a prior commitment or
marriage,
 Evidence of infidelity,
 Failure to conceive (in 'trial marriage'
cultures),
 Failure of either party to meet the financial
and property stipulations of the betrothal
contract.