Business Etiquette

Dr. Thomas Clark

Xavier University
clarkt@xavier.edu
www.communiskills.com
513.745.2025
Principles underpinning all etiquette:
the Golden and Platinum rules
 Golden: Treat others as you would like to
be treated
 Platinum: Treat others as they would like
to be treated
 Perception Equals Reality
 Two Stages:
 Initial Perception— (Immediate)
 Sustained Perception— (Over Time)
 Initial and Sustained Perception
Initial Perception Sustained Perception

Presence Personal Substance

 Appearance & Professionalism
 Manner & Style  Attitude
 Etiquette  Integrity
 Awareness  Civility
 Work Ethic & Discipline
Presentation
 Listening and Interpersonal Skills
 Meeting Skills
 Business Meals
 PRESENCE:

 APPEARANCE
 MANNER & STYLE
 ETIQUETTE
 Presence

People begin to evaluate us before

any words are ever spoken
Who you are speaks so loudly I do
not hear what you say--Emerson
 APPEARANCE

– Carriage: exercise
– Handshaking: exercise
– Dress: handout
– Grooming
– First words: Exercise
– Listening: Exercise
– Introduction Style: Exercise
– Voice: exercise
– Name Recognition/Recall
 Handshaking exercise
handout
 Pumper
 Dead Fish
 Squeezer
 Two handed
 Equal, with direct eye contact
 Presence
DRESS
* Does Dress Impact Decision on
Interviewees?
Yes – 93% No – 7%
* Does Dress Impact Promotion Potential?
Yes – 96% No – 4%
 DRESS
handout

“The way you dress affects the way you are

perceived, and the way you are perceived, is
the way you are treated.”
- Buck Rodgers
Former VP of Marketing, IBM
Author of The IBM Way
 Grooming
 Neatly trimmed hair
 Light perfume or cologne
 Clean and trimmed fingernails
 Limited jewelry
 Concealed tattoos; no visible body jewelry
 Polished shoes
 Stockings without runs
 Belts on pants; socks that match belt color
 Mental rehearsal
 Before you enter a situation, visualize what
you are going to say and do—and then
mentally rehearse how you believe your
audience will respond.
 At the same time, visualize what your
audience’s most preferred communicator
would be saying and doing
 Make your first words count
 Ask yourself, “What would the other person
like to hear me say first?”
 This will allow you to say something that
will show you see things from the other
person’s point of view.
 Exercise: compliment someone at the table
about something you know to be important
to them.
 Interaction: Listening skills
handout
 How do you know someone is listening to
you?
 How do you feel when you know someone
is listening to you?
 How do you describe a person who is
listening to you?
 Interaction: Listening skills
 How do you know someone is ignoring
you?
 How does it make you feel when you are
ignored?
 How do you describe a person who has
ignored you?
 Interactive moment
 Why should you plan your non-verbal
communication as carefully as your verbal
behavior before you take part in a job
interview?
 Planning a message
• Purpose: What do I want to happen as a result of
this message? When do I need a response?
• Strategic alignment: How does my memo
contribute both to reader and company goals?
How will readers react?
• Execution: Is this a good time to send this
message? How can I finish it on time? How
should I transmit this message?
 Outlining your message
• Open with your purpose: Clear subject
line. Opening paragraph that answers the
What, Why, and When questions.
• Order your arguments: Lead from
strength; chronology; umbrella point.
• List action steps: Who does What When
 Write an effective opening
• Write precise subject lines
• Write first sentences that tell readers how
you want them to react to the rest of the
message
• Define the “why(s)” of your message
• Be sure your opening meets the “so what”
test
 Order your arguments
• Lead from strength in action memos
• Order by chronology in explanatory memos
 Highlighting
Headings: table of Boldface, underlining,
contents of memo; and italics: help
macro-organizers readers scan
Lists: improves information- more
comprehension and easily
retention; micro- Indenting: reveal
organizers hierarchies of thought
White space: improved
curb appeal of memo
Make documents inviting to read
Overall appearance Chunking
• Margins • Overall length
• Type Size • Short paragraphs
• Boxing • Short sentences
• Typeface • Short words
 Write the first draft
Opening paragraphs
Background paragraph
Scannable body paragraphs
– write in what/why/data (or significance)
Issues/further discussion
Follow-up paragraphs
 Introducing yourself
 Hi, I’m Fred Jones (vs. Mr, Ms, or Dr)
 Introducing yourself to a secretary
 Hello. My name is Libby Smith. I am here
for a 1 o’clock appointment with Mr. Jones.
 Introductions
 Mention authority figures first and
introduce others to them.
 Introduce a younger person to an older
person.
 Always stand up.
 Always shake hands.
 Introduce lower ranking person to higher
ranking person. Include useful information
 Father Graham, may I introduce Libby Smith, our
new assistant director of diversity. She recently
earned her MA in Human Resources at Indiana
University.
 Father Graham has served as President of Xavier
University for the past 6 years. Recently, US News
& World Report ranked Xavier as the 2nd best
comprehensive university in the Midwest.
 Interactive moment
In groups of 3-4, introduce each members of
the group to one another.
 Remembering names
 Get business cards from everyone you meet and
makes notes on it about when you met, what you
had in common, and details about the person,
including names of children.
 Prefer the formal to the informal, especially with
older and higher ranking people
 Avoid saying, “I’m sorry, I have forgotten your
name” Instead, say “Help me out, your name was
on the tip of my tongue and I must be having a
senior moment.
 Speak with authority
(handout)
Even when asking questions, have your voice
end on with a downward inflection.

Say “What time is the meeting?” once with

voice raising at the end and one with voice
ending with a downward inflection.
Write with authoritatively and positively and
concisely, pp. 4-1 ff in workbook

Authoritative language

Positive language

Concise language
 Business Communication
 Telephone calls
 Notes of Appreciation
 Phone Calls and Voice Mail
 Beepers, Cellular Phones and Portables
 Telephone Etiquette
handout & exercise, p 4-6
 Identify yourself and your company.
 Ask the person if he or she has time to talk.
 Make calls during normal business hours.
 Return calls the same day.
 Never put someone on hold without asking
permission.
 Don’t do other work while on the phone
 Be courteous of others when screening calls.
 General Do’s and Don’ts
 Outline points you want to make prior to
placing a call.
 If your party is not there, leave a brief
message and request a telephone
appointment.
 If your party answers, identify yourself, stick
to your outline and thank the person at the
end of the call.
 Conference calls
3-4 to 3-5, in workbook

 Prepare
 Be respectful
 Be inclusive
 Keep moving
 Get commitments
 Voice Mail, p. 3-2
 Identify yourself and your return number
immediately.
 Be brief and to the point. What you want,
why it is of mutual interest, details, next
steps. Leave return number again.
 Record your own concise outgoing
message. Make sure you sound upbeat and
optimistic
 Your voice mail recording
 Start with an upbeat greeting
 Indicate how the caller can get a response
 Close on a positive note (Make it a great
day!)
 Do not have
– a cute message
– background music
– a long introductory comment before the beep
 Interaction
What are the differences in impressions you make when you
use each of the following media:
– voice mail message
– e-mail message
– business letter
– telephone call
• impact of
– normal call
– speaking from or to a speaker phone
– call waiting interruptions
 Beepers, Cellular Phones
and Portables

Limit the use. Put on vibrate or silent.

 Notes of Appreciation
 Thank You
 Letter of Commendation
 Memos of Recognition
 Ice breakers
 When visiting an office, pay attention to
how the office is decorated. Look for clues
that will allow you to compliment the other
person on something non-controversial
 Avoid politics, religion, how much you
earn, or negative communication such as
comments about a company or people
 Interactive moment
In small groups, identify something in your
office décor that perceptive visitors could
identify that would allow them to
compliment you or start a conversation
about a topic that stirs feelings of pride
within you.
 Meeting Etiquette
 Before the meeting
 Starting the meeting
 After the meeting
Etiquette at Business Meetings:
Before the Meeting
 Arrive early to make sure meeting room is set
up correctly. Put agendas in place. Provide for
drinks and a light snack.
 Stand near the door to thank each person who
arrives. Ask what issues are of particular
interest to them.
 Introduce new members to existing members
 Etiquette at Business Meetings:
Starting the Meeting
 Ask new members of group to introduce
themselves. Ask historical members to give
their names and positions.
 Preview the agenda and set a time limit for
each item, including time at the end of the
meeting to come back to issues.
 Etiquette at Business Meetings:
During the Meeting
Ask non-contributing members if they’d like
to add their perspectives.
Note: Interestingly, research shows talkative
members welcome the comments of others—
and shy members value inclusion in the
conversation.
 Etiquette at Business Meetings:
Ending the Meeting
 Summarize agreed upon actions,
responsibilities and timing, later written as
minutes and distributed to relevant parties.
 Thank group and guests for their time and
contributions.
 Social Events
 Business Meals
 Rules for the Host
 Rules for the Guest
 Ordering
 Business Meals
 Breakfast Meetings: often best time to
meet with busy executives
 Luncheon Meals: iced tea and simple food
 After-Work Cocktail: one only to stay in
command in the meeting and on the road.
 Business Dinners
 B=Bread D=Drink
 Rules for the Host
 Don’t impose invitations.
 Request responses as soon as possible.
 Invite others for business reasons.
 Select an appropriate setting.
 Rules for the Host
 Arrive early to greet guests.
 Give credit card to server in advance. Ask that
18% be added for a tip. Be sure server gives you
signature form to sign promptly and discretely at
end of meal.
 If price is a factor, indicate courses & meals you
recommend that meet your guidelines.
 Apologize to guests if the food or service is below
your expectations.
 Rules for the Guest
 Respond promptly to the invitation and give
reasons for a negative response.
 Know where the event will take place and know
what rules apply there. Arrive 2-3 minutes late, no
later.
 Follow the host in deciding what to order. Be
aware of what you order says about you to others.
 Thank the host. Say positive things about host that
he or she want to hear said and cannot say about
him or herself.
 Ordering
 Avoid awkward foods.
 Do not order alcohol if . . .
it is against company policy.
you will be driving after the meal.
you don’t want to drink alcohol.
it will be your second drink.
 Dining Etiquette
 Leave some food on each plate
 Split bills evenly if bill is divided
 Do not take a doggy bag
 Table Manners
Only begin eating after your host or guest is
seated and begins eating.
Bring food up to your mouth (soup spoon)
Observe pace of eating of others and conform
to their pace
Cut one piece of food and eat it rather than
cutting up meat all at once
 Table Manners
 Lay napkin across lap; do not use as a bib
 Select silverware from the outside in
 When finished, put silverware in 10 o’clock
position
 Do not dunk food
 Keep mouth closed when chewing
 Sustained perception
• All Four Elements are Important
• Attitude
• Integrity & Trust: Always Doing the Right
Thing
• Civility
• Self Discipline
 ATTITUDE

Be positive about yourself, your work, your

boss, peers, coworkers, customers,
suppliers, and company
 ATTITUDE
“Winning is not a some time thing; it’s an all
the time thing. You don’t win once in a
while; you don’t do things right once in a
while; you do them right all the time.
Winning is a habit. Unfortunately, so is
losing.”
 -Vince Lombardi
 Former Head Coach
 Green Bay Packers
 INTEGRITY

- Telling the truth

- Doing what you say you will do,
reliability
 CIVILITY

 POSITIVE REGARD FOR OTHERS

 SINCERITY
 EMPATHY: EMOTIONAL
QUOTIENT
 TACT AND DIPLOMACY
 RESPECT FOR DIVERSITY
 SELF-DISCIPLINE

 Making priorities and organizing time in

terms of those priorities.
 Putting the important ahead of the easy.
 PROVIDING SOLUTIONS TO
CLIENT PROBLEMS

 LISTEN FOR THE PAIN

 FOCUS ON CLIENT BUSINESS
BENEFITS
 - ASK FOR THE BUSINESS
 BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT
 NETWORKING
 PRODUCT/SERVICE CONFIDENCE
 PERSONAL CREDIBILITY
 Understanding Office Protocol
Treat Others the Way You Want to be Treated
 Extending Greetings
 Nurturing Your Colleagues
 Overcoming Gossip
 Handling Rivals
 Accepting Criticism Graciously
 Diplomacy
WHAT YOU THINK WHAT YOU SAY
• This is taking forever • How can we get this
approved (finished)
quickly?
• What if you
• Why can’t you
• Would it be better if
• I hate it when
• Here’s my
• Here’s the best way
to do it. suggestion.
 Motivation
USE PHRASES THAT BRING OUT THE BEST
IN YOUR LISTENER
• I know you want what is fair for both of us.
• I am sure you will do your best to help me out.
• I am counting on you.
• I enjoy working for you because you respond so
effectively to your department’s needs.
 Take responsibility by
• FOCUSING ON THE POTENTIALS OF THE
FUTURE RATHER THAN THE CONCERNS
OF THE PAST.
• US1NG A POSITIVE VOCABULARY:
VIEWING PROBLEMS AS CONCERNS,
ISSUES, OR, EVEN BETTER,
OPPORTUNITIES FOR IMPROVEMENT.
• AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
DETERMINING HOW YOU CAN CHANGE
TO IMPROVE THE SITUATION
 Be Pro-Active
WONDER WHAT’S HAPPENING MAKES THINGS HAPPEN
QUESTIONS QUESTIONS
• Why doesn’t this company value • How can I learn what management
me? values? How can I show my value?

• How can I find out how to do this job so

• Why can I never understand
exactly how I am supposed to do
my job?
• When am I going to get the training
I need?
• Why does my staff show so little
enthusiasm?
that I am confident I am doing it right?
• What ‘s the best way to approach my
manager to discuss this issue?
• How can I let my manager know what
kind of additional training I need?
• How can I develop the skills I need on
my own?
• How can I get my staff to tell me about
how they feel about their work? How
can I motivate them more effectively?
 Reframe Questions Proactively
1 Why are things changing so fast?
2 Why don’t we ever change around here?
3 When is this supplier going to call?
4 Why is that customer always so discourteous?
5 Why are our services so undervalued?
6 Why do I do more work than any other
member of my group?
7 Why is one of my co-workers so lazy?
 Reframe questions proactively
8 Why is my supervisor so critical of my work?
9 Why isn’t my staff following my directions?
10 Why do I have to always do what my boss wants?
11 Why can’t I follow my own work priorities?
12 Why do I get sick so often?
13 When will I get some relief from this stress?
14 Why is it so hard to make friends here?
 Diplomacy
• I did not do the study because I’ve
been busy.
• You are so selfish you never see
how much you demand.
• The tests are not done yet! What do
you people do all day?
• Don’t you ever pay attention? This
document is full of mistakes.
• That’s won’t work
• I am planning to complete the
study by Friday.
• I know you are busy. When can we
schedule 30 minutes to discuss the
possibility of hiring a part time
assistant?
• I realize these tests require careful
planning and execution. How soon
can you finish?
• This memo is headed to the
Director. Please make the changes
I identified and proofread the
report carefully. Thanks. I
appreciate your help.
• Let me share my perspective on
this issue.
 Thank You.

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