Writing Messages, Reports, Proposal, Formats C

chapter two
Adaptation and the

Selection of Words
McGraw-Hill/Irwin © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Overview
 Role of adaptation in selecting words
 Simplifying with short and familiar words
 Appropriate use of technical words and acronyms
 Selection of words with appropriate strength
 Use of concrete words and active voice
 Achieve clarity and precision by avoiding
camouflaged verbs, selecting the right words, and
using idioms correctly.
 Use of words that do not discriminate
Need for Adaptation
(fitting the message to your readers)
How to do it:
 Visualize your readers
– how they think
– what they know
– their education level
– etc.
 Then write for them
How to Adapt to Multiple Readers
Write for the bottom level.

 Usually this means simplifying the message
 Thus, the following suggestions stress
simplification
Use short, familiar words.
DON’T
In effect, it was hypothesized that certain physical data
categories including housing types and densities, land use
characteristics, and ecological location constitute a scaleable
content area. This could be called a continuum of residential
desirability. Likewise, it was hypothesized that several social
data categories, describing the same census tracts and
referring generally to to the social stratification system of the
city, would also be scaleable. This scale could be called a
continuum of socioeconomic status. Thirdly, it was
hypothesized that there would be a high positive correlation
between the scale types on each continuum.
Use short, familiar words.
DO
One can tell from an aerial photograph where
rich and poor people live. The rich live in big
houses set far apart. The poor live in small
houses set close together.
Prefer the short, familiar word
to the long, unfamiliar word.
Long, Unfamiliar Words Short, Familiar Words
Abbreviate  Shorten
Accomplish  Do
Approximately  About
Ascertain  Find out
Commence  Begin
Considerable  Much
Determine  Decide
Detrimental  Harmful
Duplicate  Copy
Elevation  Height
Equivalent  Equal
Fabricate  Build
Furnish  Give
Indeterminate  Vague
Indicate  Show
Ineffectual  Useless
Interrupt  Hinder
Minimal  Smallest
Modification  Change
Proceed  Go
Supersede  Replace
Ultimate  Last
Visualize  Picture
Verification  Proof
Use Technical Language with Caution.
Social Security’s technical language found
to be misunderstood by outsiders:
Technical Language Improved Version

Has sufficient quarters of Has worked long enough (under
coverage to acquire an Social Security) to become
insured status. insured.
Survivors’ benefits Family insurance payments
Covered employment A job covered by Social Security
Deceased wage earner Worker who has died
To file a claim To apply for insurance payments
Aged workers Workers past 65
Use initials and acronyms
with caution.
What do these letters mean?
 RFID  Radio Frequency Identification
 FTC  Federal Trade Commission
 CD  Certificate of Deposit/Compact Disc
 Initial Public Offering
 IPO
 Recreational Vehicle
 RV
 North Atlantic Treaty Organization
 NATO
 Internal Revenue Service
 IRS
Prefer the concrete to
the abstract.
Abstract Concrete
We have found that this technique Our research shows that 87 percent of
is successful. those using this technique are
successful.
Your department may hire some Your department may hire three new
new employees. stock clerks.
We will ship your order soon. We will ship the Moss No. 41 desk sets
you ordered October 12 by Arrow
Freight on October 15.
Each of the branch managers will Each of the branch managers will
receive a substantial pay raise. received a 15 percent pay raise.
This procedure requires a constant This process requires a constant
low temperature. temperature of 10 degrees centigrade.
Prefer the active to the passive.
Passive Active
It is believed that the bill was I believe they padded the bill.
padded.
Your report was read by the The president read your report.
president.
The profit and loss statement is The treasurer prepares the profit
prepared by the treasurer each and loss statement each month.
month.
It is suggested that you clean the We suggest that you clean the
element in warm, soapy water. element in warm, soapy water.
It is desired that every effort be Mr. Wong wants you to bring this
made to have this matter brought matter to the attention of the
to the attention of the manager. manager.
Prefer strong verbs to verbs
camouflaged as nouns.
Camouflaged Verb Strong Verb
. . . make a classification . . . . . . classify . . .

. . . make a computation . . . . . . compute . . .
. . . conduct an exploration . . . . . . explore . . .
. . . provide information . . . . . . inform . . .
. . . engage in negotiation . . . . . . negotiate . . .
. . . make an observation . . . . . . observe . . .
. . . provide representation . . . . . . represent . . .
Prefer strong verbs to verbs
camouflaged as nouns.
Camouflaged Verb Strong Verb
Cancellation of the order was We canceled the order on
made on the 12th. the 12th.
Elimination of the deficit was The change eliminated the
brought about by the change. deficit.
The management of this office Ms. Brown manages this
is conducted by Ms. Brown. office.
Distribution of the special The safety officer distributed
equipment was accomplished the special equipment.
by the safety officer.
Choose the precise word.
 The committee (comprises) (constitutes)
representatives from all four sales districts.
 This building site cost a large (sum) (amount) of
money.
 She was (notorious) (noted) for her concern for
the poor.
 We found no evidence that would (cause)
(enable) us to support him.
 The management of this store is independent
(of) (from) the main office.
Choose the precise word.
 She (claimed) (maintained) (said) that she was ill.
 He is angry (about) (with) the loss.
 I will try (to) (and) correct the error.
 I differ (with) (from) you on this conclusion.
 If he is late, I will not wait (for) (on) him longer than
ten minutes.
 She has an interest (in) (for) technical writing.
Suggestions for
Nondiscriminatory Writing
Avoid sexist pronouns by
 rewording to eliminate the offending word,
 making the reference plural, and
 substituting a neutral expression (he or she,
he/she, s/he, you, one, person).
Reword to eliminate the offending word.
Sexist Nonsexist
We will reimburse any We will reimburse any
employee who paid his employee for travel expenses
travel expenses. paid.
If a customer pays promptly, A customer who pays promptly
he is placed on our preferred is placed on our preferred list.
list.
A physician should treat his A physician should treat
patients with respect. patients with respect.
Make the reference plural.
Sexist Nonsexist
If a customer pays promptly, he is If customers pay promptly, they are
placed on our preferred list. placed on our preferred list.
When an unauthorized employee When unauthorized employees
enters the security area, he is enter the security area, they are
subject to dismissal. subject to dismissal.
A supervisor is not responsible for Supervisors are not responsible for
such losses if he is not negligent. such losses if they are not negligent.
When a customer needs service, it is When customers need service, they
her right to ask for it. have the right to ask for it.
Substitute a neutral expression.
Sexist Nonsexist
If a customer pays promptly, he If a customer pays promptly, he
is placed on our preferred list.or she is placed on our preferred
list.
When an unauthorized employee When an unauthorized employee
enters the security area, he is enters the security area, he/she
subject to dismissal. is subject to dismissal.
A supervisor is not responsible A supervisor is not responsible
for such losses if he is not for such losses if s/he is not
negligent. negligent.
When a customer needs service, When service is needed, one
it is her right to ask for it. has the right to ask for it.
Avoid words with a
masculine origin.
Sexist Nonsexist
man-made manufactured, of human origin
manpower personnel, workers
congressman representative, member of Congress
businessman business executive, businessperson
mailman letter carrier, mail carrier
policeman police officer
fireman fire fighter
cameraman camera operator
waiter/waitress server
Masculine-sounding Words—
No Masculine Origin
 manufacture
 management
 history
 manipulate
 mannequin
 manicure
 mandolin
 histrionic
 histamine
Avoid words that lower one’s status.
Instead of Use
my girl  my secretary
lady doctor  doctor
authoress  author
actress  actor
poetess  poet
sculptress  sculptor
male nurse  nurse
male secretary  secretary
Generally avoid words that stereotype
by
 Race
– a hard-working African-American
– an honest Sicilian
 Age
– golden ager
– youngster
 Disability
– deaf and dumb
– crippled
 Sexual Orientation
– homosexual
– gay
chapter three
Construction of Clear Sentences
and Paragraphs

Overview
 Role of adaptation in writing clearly

 Limited sentence content and economical use
of words
 Right emphasis to content
 Sentence unity and clarity
 Short, unified sentences, appropriately used
topic sentences, movement shown
Clarity and Short Sentences
Writing clearly generally involves writing

short sentences. But there are exceptions.
You can write short sentences in two ways:

1 by limiting content,
2 by using words economically.
Break up long sentences.
(Limiting Content)
DON’T
Many consumers have expressed dissatisfaction with the
relatively high prices of the new Japanese cars, but this has
not prevented large numbers of people from purchasing these
cars and pushing sales higher than many automotive experts
had forecast, thus firmly entrenching the Japanese cars in a
large segment of the automobile market.
(Limiting Content)
DO
Many consumers have expressed dissatisfaction with the
relatively high prices of the new Japanese cars. However,
this has not prevented large numbers of people from
purchasing these cars and pushing sales higher than many
automotive experts had forecast. The Japanese cars have
thus become entrenched in a large segment of the
automobile market.
(Limiting Content)
DON’T
The production planning department assigns to each
production order a number that is called a job-order number,
which becomes the identifying means of reporting to the
accounting department the direct costs relating to a
production order, and which can reveal additional information
about the job through code numbers or letters added to the
job-order number.
(Limiting Content)
DO
The production planning department assigns to each
production order a number that is called a job-order number.
This number becomes the identifying means of reporting to
the accounting department the direct costs relating to a
production order. Adding code numbers or letters to the job-
order number reveals more information about the job.
(Limiting Content)
DON’T
I should appreciate first obtaining clearance from your bureau,
subsequent to which I plan to send this preliminary draft
through appropriate channels to Mr. Suarez of the Nevada
agency, asking him for information we need in order to discuss
the statistics for the entire year, and also inviting someone in
the agency to participate as joint author of the final article.
(Limiting Content)
DO
I should appreciate first obtaining clearance from your bureau.

Then I plan to send this preliminary draft through appropriate
channels to Mr. Suarez of the Nevada agency, asking him for
information we need in order to discuss the statistics for the
entire year. I plan also to invite someone in the agency to
participate as joint author of the final article.
Writing Economically
(Eliminate cluttering phrases.)
 Regardless of the fact that sales increased, profits continue to

decline.
 Even though sales increased, profits continue to decline.
 Production will decrease next month due to the fact that we
must retool for the next model.
 Production will decrease next fall because we must retool for
the next model.
 In very few instances do the salespeople receive bonuses over
the amount of $100.
 The salespeople seldom receive bonuses over $100.
 At all times the cash box is kept locked.
 The cash box is always locked.
(Eliminate cluttering phrases.)
 At whatever time we receive a special order it is immediately

sent to the production planning department.
 Whenever we receive a special order, we send it to the
production planning department.
 Contrary to our expectations, the new law will allow the

company to reduce its income taxes.
 Unexpectedly, the new law will let the company reduce its
income taxes.
 In some instances, we sell directly to the retailer.

 Sometimes we sell directly to the retailer.
(Cut surplus words.)
 You are hereby instructed to send all daily reports directly to
this office as promptly as possible.
 Send all reports to this office promptly.
 Your attention is directed to paragraph 3, which summarizes

the findings of this study.
 Paragraph 3 summarizes the findings of this study.
 Enclosed herewith are general instructions which are sent to

you for your guidance and information.
 The enclosed general instructions are for your guidance and
information.
(Cut surplus words.)
 On the date of March 1, all reports must be ready for the

purpose of mailing them to the home office.
 All reports must be ready to mail to the home office by March
1.
 It will be observed that all reports coming from our St. Louis
headquarters are routed through the district sales managers.
 Reports from our St. Louis headquarters are routed through
the district sales managers.
 Enclosed herewith are two copies of the status report.

 Enclosed are two copies of the status report.
(Rephrase roundabout constructions.)
 All the books are in readiness for the annual audit.

 The books are ready for the annual audit.
 The charge of negligence has been denied by all four of the

officers.
 The four officers denied the negligence charge.
 It is our expectation that this plan will be successful.

 We expect the plan to succeed.
 There have been many times when we suspected theft.
 Many times we suspected theft.
 It is our conclusion that production should stop.
 We conclude that production should stop.
(Rephrase roundabout constructions.)
 We are in receipt of your report.

 We received your report.
 Your attention is invited to the contents of

enclosed brochures.
 Please see the enclosed brochures.
 We are not in a position to stop the trend.

 We cannot stop the trend.
 Please find enclosed a list of applicants.

 A list of applicants is enclosed.
(Remove unnecessary repetition.)
 We have verified the charges to your account and find that
the account balances on our books agree with the account
balances on your books.
 We have verified the charges to your account and find that
our records agree with yours.
 This change will enable us to get started sooner than if we

wait for a later date.
 This change will enable us to get started sooner.
 At the present time the research is almost complete.

 The research is almost complete.
(Remove unnecessary repetition.)
 You must do and perform the following duties and functions.

 You must perform the following duties.
 While auditing a good auditor follows the accepted
procedures for auditing.
 A good auditor follows accepted procedures.
 The manager repeatedly kept telling me over and over again.

 The manager repeatedly reminded me.
 This situation calls for quick and expeditious action.

 This situation calls for quick action.
Sentence Emphasis
 Write sentences that give their contents

proper emphasis.
 Short sentences stand out (an item standing
alone gets emphasis).
 Long sentences de-emphasize content (the
two or more items share emphasis).
All Short Sentences
(The effect is choppy.)
The main building was inspected on October 1. Mr. George

Wills inspected the building. Mr.Wills is a vice president of
the company. He found that the building has 6,500 square
feet of floor space. He also found that it has 2,400 square
feet of storage space. The new store must have a minimum
of 6,000 square feet of floor space. It must have 2,000
square feet of storage space. Thus, the main building
exceeds the space requirements for the new store.
Therefore, Mr. Wills concluded that the main building is
adequate for the company’s needs.
Some Subordination
(but not logical)
Mr. George Wills, who inspected the main building on

October 1, is a vice president of the company. His
inspection, which supports the conclusion that the building
is large enough for the proposed store, uncovered these
facts. The building has 6,500 square feet of floor space
and 2,400 square of feet of storage space, which is more
than the minimum requirements of 6,000 and 2,000
square feet, respectively, of floor and storage space.
Good Subordination
(important points emphasized)
The main building is large enough for the new store. This
conclusion, reached by Vice President George Wills following
his October 1 inspection of the building, is based on these
facts: The building’s 6,500 square feet of floor space
exceeded the minimum requirements by 500 square feet.
The 2,400 square feet of storage spaced exceeded the
minimum requirement by 400 square feet.
Include only related ideas for sentence
unity.
 The Passman shredder was the first manufactured, and we
have had a Timmons since 1996.
 The Passman shredder was the first manufactured. We have
had a Timmons since 1996.
 The weather was unusually bad last month, and sales of
Drummond products increased 12 percent.
 Even though the weather was unusually bad last month, our
sales of Drummond products increased 12 percent.
 We value your satisfaction, and we have carefully looked into
the handling of your order.
 Because we value your satisfaction, we carefully looked into
the handling of your order.
Include only necessary detail for
sentence unity.
 Both hotels can guarantee the 250 rooms we will require,
although the Marriott is new (since 2002) and its rooms are
more modern and therefore more appealing, but the 69-year
old Westgate is well preserved and comfortable.
 Both hotels can guarantee the 250 rooms we will require. The
Marriott is new (since 2002), and its rooms are modern and,
therefore, more appealing. The 69-year old Westgate,
however, is well preserved and comfortable.
Include only necessary detail for
sentence unity.
 I rented offices in Marina Towers, a downtown office building,
and the suite rents for $3,000 per month for three executive
offices which open into a single support office which is large
enough for two administrative assistants.
 I rented offices in Marina Towers, a downtown office building.

The office suite selected rented for $3,000 per month. It has
three executive offices, each opening into a single support
office, which is large enough for two administrative assistants.
Use logical construction for
sentence unity.
 We cleared the site, and then the foundation was
constructed.
 We cleared the site, and then we constructed the
foundation.
 Because our inventories have decreased has increased

our back orders.
 Our decrease in inventories caused an increase in back
orders.
 Helping people to help themselves is how I got the job

done.
 I got the job done by helping people to help themselves.
Use logical construction for
sentence unity.
 Because I have a degree in information systems is the reason I
am qualified for the job.
 My degree in information systems qualifies me for the job.
 The fact that sales increased is because we opened new

territories.
 Our sales increased because we opened new territories.
Lack of Unity in a Paragraph
This paragraph inserts information about personal

qualities into a paragraph about coursework.
At the university I studied all the basic accounting courses as
well as specialized courses in taxation and computer security. I
also took specialized coursework in the behavioral areas, with
emphasis on human relations. Realizing the value of human
relations in business, I also actively participated in
organizations such as Sigma Nu (social fraternity), Delta Sigma
Pi (professional fraternity), and University Sing. I selected my
elective coursework to round out my general business
education. Among my electives were courses in investments,
business report writing, and business ethics. A glance at my
resume will show you the additional courses that round out my
training.
Contrasting Pages: Long Paragraphing versus
Short Paragraphing
Heavy paragraphs make Short paragraphs give

the writing appear to be well-organized effect --
dull and difficult. invite the reader to read.
Topic Sentences in
Paragraph Construction
In constructing a chart line, you should plot the item to be
illustrated as a continuous line on a grid. On the grid, you
should plot time on the horizontal axis (X-axis). You should plot
the value of the series on the vertical axis (Y-axis). You should
include the scale values and time periods on the axis lines.
You may also compare two or more series on the same line
chart. In such a comparison, you should clearly distinguish the
lines by color or form (dots, dashes, dots and dashes, and the
like). You should clearly label them by a legend somewhere in
the chart. But the number of series that you may compare on
one chart is limited. As a practical rule, four or five series
should be a maximum.
Include only necessary information.
This paragraph tells more than the reader needs to know:

In reviewing the personnel history form you filled out last week,
I found an error that needs to be corrected. The section titled
“work history” has blank lines for three items of information. The
first is for dates employed. The second is for company name.
And the third is for type of work performed. On your form you
wrote company name only, and it extended across all three
blanks. You did not indicate years employed or your duties.
This information is important. It is reviewed by your supervisors
every time you are considered for promotion or for a pay
increase. Therefore, it must be completed. I request that you
come by my office and complete this form at your earliest
convenience.
Include only necessary information.
Only this information is really necessary:
Please come by my office at your earliest convenience to correct

an error in the personnel form you filled out last week.
Give paragraphs movement with
transitional words and phrases.
This paragraph moves steadily forward to reach its goals.
We at Digex take care of all the needs of your online business.
First, we supply the hardware and software necessary to get
your site up and running. Next, we make certain you are online
24/7/365 with our world-class data centers and networks. In
addition, we provide the administration, monitoring, and
security that assures your site success.
chapter four
Writing for Effect

Overview
 Need for effect
 Conversation style, rubber stamps, old
language
 You-viewpoint
 Positive language
 Courtesy
 Emphasis
 Flow, transitional devices
Writing for Effect
 Effective business writing sometimes must

create the right effect.
– The right effect can help to build goodwill.
– And it can help in achieving message goals.
Create the right effect by
(1) using conversational style.
Stiff and Dull Conversational
Reference is made to your March Please refer to your March 16
16 letter, in which you describe letter, in which you tell how to file
the approved procedure for a claim.
initiating a claim.
Enclosed herewith is the brochure Enclosed is the brochure you
about which you make inquiry. asked about.
I shall be most pleased to avail
myself of your kind suggestion I’ll gladly follow your suggestion if
when and if prices decline. the price falls.
(2) avoiding rubber stamps.
 At an early date  As per
 Attached please find  Neither here nor there
 Complying with your favor of  A good man is hard to find
 Due to the fact  You’d better believe
 Hit the road  Let her hair down
 Bit the hand that feeds you  Rat race
 Take it with a grain of salt  Thanking you in advance
 Too many irons in the fire  Couldn’t care less
Create the right effect by (3) avoiding the
old language of business.
In Openings In Contents
 we beg to advise  deem it advisable
 your esteemed favor  attached hereto
 this is to inform you  please be advised
In Closings
 Thanking you in advance
 We beg to remain
 Anticipating your favorable
response
Letter filled with old-style,
rubber stamp wording
Dear Mr. Canfield:
In re: Policy 437 H721 411
Agreeable to your favor of September 6, we have consulted our
actuarial department to ascertain the status of subject policy.
Inasmuch as said policy was due on September 1 and this
classification carries a 31-day grace clause, I am pleased to advise that
your period of grace does not expire until October 1.
Therefore, permission is hereby granted to delay remittance until said
date. Trusting to have your payment by that time, I am.
Yours very truly,
Letter revised with
contemporary wording.
Dear Mr. Canfield:
Subject: Your September 7 inquiry about Policy 437 H721 411
You are still covered by your policy. As it has a 31-day grace period, you
have until October 1 to pay. So that you may be assured of continued
coverage, you should mail your payment a few days before this date.
If I can help you further, please contact me again.
Sincerely,
(4) emphasizing the you viewpoint. (1 of 2)
We: Our policy requires that you pay by the 10th of the
month in order to earn the discount.
You: You can earn the discount by paying by the 10th of the
month.
We: We are offering a special discount to all our loyal
customers.
You: As a loyal customer, you will receive a special discount.
We: Send us your check for $741 today so that our books will
show you as current.
You: Will you please keep your account current by sending
your check for $741 today.
Create the right effect by (4) emphasizing
the you viewpoint. (2 of 2)
We: Our research engineers have worked forty-four years to
make Deere a safe mower.
You: You can use the Deere with the comfort of knowing that
it is a product of forty-four years of intensive safety
research.
We: On February 7 we will deliver the Bush desk and chair
set your ordered.
You: You will receive your Bush desk and chair set on our
February 7 delivery.
We: I look forward to receiving additional orders from you.
You: I look forward to serving you again.
You: Serving you again will be a pleasure.
(5) accenting positive language.
Negative: Your misunderstanding of your policy prompts your
accusation that we are at fault.
Positive: Section 3 of your policy makes us responsible only
when we service the equipment.
Negative: I regret the inconvenience caused you by the
breakdown of the equipment.
Positive: The repaired equipment should give you years of
good service.
Negative: We must refuse your request to use our equipment.
Positive: As we are a state office, our equipment can be used
for government purposes only.
Common Negative Words
 Afraid  Alibi
 Allege  Apology
 Beware  Blame
 Careless  Complaint
 Decline  Difficult
 Disappoint  Fault
 Fail  Impossible
 Inconvenience  Misunderstanding
 Unfortunate  Ruin
 Waste  Unfair
 Worry  Wrong
(6) showing courtesy. (1 of 5)
Show courtesy by singling out the reader.
not this: Your training report for the third quarter has been
received and has been judged to be satisfactory.
but this: Congratulations, Jane, on the good teaching indicated
by the third quarter training report you submitted.
not this: A prompt reply will be appreciated.
but this: As the report is due on the 7th, Mr. Adami, will you
please reply by that date.
Show courtesy by refraining from preaching.
not this: Pay this invoice by the 12th and earn the 2 percent
discount.
but this: You can earn a 2 percent discount by paying by the 12th.
not this: You must realize that we can be held responsible only
when we install the equipment.
but this: You will agree, I feel certain, that we are responsible only
when we install the equipment.
not this: You want to hire a person who can get along with the
office staff.
but this: My three years of experience working with people will help
me to fit in well with your office staff.
Show courtesy by doing more than expected.

Little extras like:
 giving more than the minimum information requested
 making helpful suggestions
 wishing good luck
 making encouraging remarks
Show courtesy by avoiding anger.
not this: You failed to state whether you intend to use the
equipment inside or outside.
but this: So that I can meet your needs exactly, please tell me
whether you will use the equipment inside or outside.
not this: We have been very patient with your failure to reply to our
letters.
but this: Probably there is a good reason why you have not
answered our letters.
not this: Your negligence in this matter has caused us a loss in sales.
but this: Because corrective action was not taken, our sales
declined.
Show courtesy by being sincere.
Honestly want to be courteous and friendly.

Create the right effect by (7) giving proper
emphasis to contents. (1 of 5)
Emphasis by Position
beginning and
ending of the
beginning paragraph
and ending of
the message
beginning and
ending of the
sentence
Emphasis by Volume
Topic A receives more

Topic A space than Topic B --
thus more emphasis.
Topic B
Emphasis by Sentence Structure

These short sentences give equal emphasis to all items.
The Cc field is for courtesy copies. Courtesy copies are for
the recipient’s information. To send courtesy copies, put the
recipients’ addresses in the Cc field. They won’t be expected
to answer. They can answer if they choose. You can send
yourself a courtesy copy for your file. Do this by placing your
address in this field.

Here some items get more emphasis than others.
Put the addresses of those to whom you want to send courtesy
copies in the Cc field. Courtesy copies are for the recipients’
information. The recipients have a choice whether or not to
respond. By placing your address in this file, you can receive a
copy for your file.

This one emphasizes different items.
If you want others to have the information in your message,
send them courtesy copies. Do this by placing their addresses
in the Cc field. They have a choice whether or not to respond.
Place your address in this field if you want a copy for your file.
Create the proper effect by (8) making the
message coherent. (1 of 6)
Show coherence through tie-in sentences.

Initial Sentence
As always, we are willing to do as much as we reasonably
can to make things right.
Abrupt Shift: The facts in every case are different.

Smooth Tie-in: What we can do in each instance is
determined by the facts of the case.

Initial Sentence
We sincerely hope that this progress will continue.
Abrupt Shift: There are many new regulators which you can
use.
Smooth Tie-in: To assure yourself of continued progress, you
will want to use one of the various new
electronic regulators.

Initial Sentence
We are eager to serve you whenever we can.
Abrupt Shift: The checks you authorized us to make

were made.
Smooth Tie-in: In determining what we can do for you in
this case, we made all the checks you
authorized.
Show coherence through repetition of key words.
 Before buying plants you should know which varieties are
adapted to your area. Adapted varieties usually are sold by
local nurseries.
 Preferably you should state the problem in writing. Stating
the problem in writing is good for many reasons.
 The state of order of your findings depends on much on the
plan you followed in your research. This research plan
probably was the product of the preliminary analysis you
made of your problem.
 Nouns are the doers of action. As doers of action, they
attract the reader’s attention.
Show coherence through the use of pronouns.

 Transitional sentences are essential to good writing. They
are the mortar that holds bricks of thought together.
 If you think Mr. James is most interested in the conclusion,

begin with the conclusion. A direct beginning will permit
him to make his decision without delay. If he has
confidence in your work, he may not choose to read beyond
this point.
Show coherence through the use of transition words.
 The promotion failed for two reasons. First, we had very little
preparation time. Second, we were extremely short of
experienced salespeople.
 For three years we had no funds for maintaining the equipment.
As a result, we have suffered a succession of breakdowns.
 After the incident, we installed two additional video cameras.
Nevertheless, theft losses continued to increase.
 They built the building on the site that had been filled.
Consequently, the foundation cracked.
 Flights attendants at US Airways went on strike. Similarly, pilots
and mechanics refused to cross the picket line.
Good business etiquette should guide
the use of effect.
Whatever you write should be
– true
– fair
– considerate
chapter five
The Writing Process and an Introduction to
Business Messages

Overview
 The Writing Process

 The Importance of Readable Formatting
 The Main Types of Business Messages
– Letters
– Memorandums
– Email
– Text messaging
– Instant messaging
88
The Process of Writing (1 of 4)
89
 Planning the Message

– Gathering and collecting information
– Analyzing and organizing the information
– Choosing a form, channel, and format
90
 Drafting the Message

– Avoid perfectionism
– Keep going
– Use any other strategies that you find helpful
91
 Revising
– Revision
– Editing
– Proofreading
92
The Importance of
Readable Formatting
 Avoid a daunting-looking document
 Use formatting devices to enhance readability
and comprehension, such as . . .
– White space
– Headings
– Typographical emphasis (boldface, etc.)
– Bulleted lists
– Diagrams and pictures
93
Traditional Letters
 The oldest form

 Their format (Appendix B)
 Their level of formality
 Their usual audience (external)
94
Memorandums Are Internal Messages
(within a company)
 Email is fast taking over.
 Typically they have a distinctive form:
– Date, To, From Subject
– Sometimes Department, Territory, Store Number,
Copies to
95
Memorandums Vary Widely
in Formality
 Some are casual.
 Some are formal.
 Most are in between.
96
Techniques for Writing Memorandums
 Techniques for writing short, simple messages

are much like those for informal email.
 Longer, more formal messages should follow
the advice in Chapters 6-8.
 They are usually written in the direct pattern
 But if on sensitive topics, they may use the
indirect order.
97
Email
 Explosive recent growth

 And the growth to continue
98
Advantages of Email
 Eliminates telephone tag

 Saves time
 Speeds up decision making
 Cheap
 Provides a written record
99
Disadvantages of Email
 Not confidential
 No authoritative signature
 Doesn’t show emotion
 May be ignored
100
Structure of Email (1 of 3)
 Standardized elements
– To
– Cc
– Bcc
– Subject
– Attachments
– Message
101
 The beginning
– Name of recipient (first name if acquainted)
– Generic greeting sometimes used (“Greetings”)
– Letter salutations rarely used
– Purpose, company sometimes useful
102
 Message organization
– As a general rule, most important information
first, with the rest in descending order.
– More complex messages organized by the plans to
be studied.
– Can resemble business reports.
103
Formality of Email Writing
 Range is from highly formal to highly informal.

 Three general writing styles:
– Casual
– Informal
– Formal
104
Casual Writing—Acceptable
Between Acquaintances
 Highly informal
 Example: “Hi ole buddy! Read your super
proposal. IMHO, it’s in the bank.”
105
Informal Writing
 Retains some casual qualities (personal

pronouns, contractions)
 Corresponds to proper conversation
 Example: “I’ve read your excellent proposal. I
predict the administrators will approve it.”
106
Formal Writing
 Maintains distance between writer and

reader.
 Avoids personal references and contractions.
 Example: “The proposal is excellent. The
executives are likely to approve it.”
107
General Email Writing Considerations (1
of 4)
 Conciseness
– Make the sentences short—only the essentials.
– Use words economically.
– Paraphrase previous messages concisely.
– Quote selectively.
108
of 4)
 Clarity
– Practice clear writing techniques.
– Review preceding chapters.
109
of 4)
 Etiquette
– Be courteous and fair.
– Avoid “flaming” (anger displays).
– Practice courtesy techniques (as presented in
Chapter 4).
110
of 4)
Correctness
– Email’s fast pace often leads to incorrect writing.
– Avoid sloppy writing.
– Error-filled writing conveys ignorance.
111
Closing the Email Message
 Usually just the writer's name is sufficient.

 In more formal messages, closing statement
may be appropriate (“Thanks,” “Regards”).
 Traditional letter closes (“Sincerely”)
sometimes used in formal messages.
112
Emphasis Devices Sometimes Used in
Email
 Some computer limitations make them
desirable.
 The common devices are font variations,
italics, bold type, color, asterisks, dashes, solid
caps.
 But use them primarily in casual writing.
113
Use Initialisms with Caution.
 Some stand initialisms have developed

 For example:
– BTW
– FYI
– FAQ
– TTFN
– TIA
– LOL
114
Text Messaging
 A recent form of business communication

 Began as short message services (SMS)
– By mobile phone users
– Using handsets with text merging capability
115
Uses of Text Messaging
 Mostly non-business uses

 But has some business use (promotions,
brand awareness, customer relations, etc.)
116
Text Messaging in Email Programs
 Most carriers have websites where users can

send text messages.
 Typically they limit to 160 characters.
– The result—abbreviated writing (b4, plz, gr8)
– Need to take care
117
Summary: The Writing of Text Messages
 Cover all critical information

 Keep it short
 Strive for clarity
118
Instant Messaging
 Growing in popularity
 Like a typed phone conversation
 Needs to be adapted to the audience
 May be monitored
119
chapter six
Directness in Good News
and Neutral Situations

Overview
 Preliminary assessment
 A general direct plan
 Applications of the general plan to
– Routine inquiries
– Favorable responses
– Adjustment grants
– Order acknowledgments
– Claims
– Operational Messages
A General Guideline for
Organizing Messages
 Short messages usually are written in the
direct order.
 Long messages may require indirect order.
Preliminary Assessment
 Determine the reader’s probable reaction –

positive, neutral, negative
– If positive or neutral, directness usually
recommended
– If negative, indirectness usually recommended
The General Indirect Plan
 Start with the objective.

 Include any necessary identification
information.
 Cover the remainder of the objective.
 End with goodwill.
Preliminary Considerations in Writing
Routine Inquiries
 You are asking for something your reader is
likely to grant.
 Thus, a direct approach is justified.
Directness for Routine Inquiries
The message plan:

Opening  Begin directly with the objective.
– Either ask a specific question or
– make a general request for the information.
Body  Include any necessary explanation--wherever it
fits (as a separate part of the message or worked
in with the questions).
 If a number of questions are involved, give them
structure.
– May number them.
– Make them stand out.
Closing  End with goodwill words--something appropriate
that fits the one case.
Routine InquiryBad Example
Dear Mr. Crifasi:
As you will recall, you recently returned merchandise to us. We at Hobsons
sincerely hope that this transaction was satisfactory. In fact, we are in the
process of making changes which will insure that such transactions are favorably
handled. Thus, we would like the answers for some questions about your
experiences returning merchandise to us.
We’d like to know whether you were served promptly and courteously and
whether the adjustment was satisfactory and in accordance with your wishes.
Also, we’d like to know whether the salesperson offered assistance to you in
selecting other merchandise.
You may just write your comments on this letter and return it in the enclosed
addressed and stamped envelope. Thanking you in advance for your cooperation,
I remain,
Sincerely,
Routine Inquiry--Good Example
Dear Mr. Crifasi:

Will you please help us to serve you better by answering the following
questions.
When you returned merchandise at our store recently:
1. Were you served promptly and courteously?
2. Was the adjustment satisfactory and in accordance with your wishes?
3. Did the salesperson offer to assist you in selecting other merchandise?
Please write your answers--and any other comments you may wish to make
about the service of this store and any other Hobson store--on this letter.
Then return it in the enclosed stamped and addressed envelope.
We shall be most grateful for your help.
Sincerely,
Another good example
Jessica Brown <Jessica_Brown@trevorhardware.com>
Itemized statement for July
Dear Ms. Brown:

Will you please send me an itemized statement covering my account for July.
According to my invoice file, the amount owed should be $2,374.27. Your statement shows
$2,833.74 owed. Perhaps you did not record the $427.17 of merchandise returned on
invoice no. 3211C late last week. But even this possible error does not explain all of the
difference.
I shall appreciate your usual promptness in clearing up this matter.

Jane Adami, President
Two Sisters Antiques
Preliminary Considerations in Writing a
Favorable Response
 You are complying with the reader’s request.
 The news is good.
 Thus, directness is justified.
Directness for a
Favorable Response
The message plan:
Opening  Begin with the answer or state you are complying with
the request.
 Identify the message being answered--incidentally in
the beginning or in a subject line.
Body  Continue to give what is wanted in an orderly
arrangement.
 If negative information is involved, give it proper
emphasis. Consider including extras.
Closing  End with friendly, adapted words.
Indirect Approach and Grudging Tone
Produce Negative Effect (1 of 2)
Dear Sir:
We are in receipt of your favor of April 12 in which you
request that we furnish you a copy of our current Baton
Rouge directory with certain notations and emendations. In
reply I wish to assure you that we are very much interested in
your proposed online directory of Louisiana manufacturers
and believe it is a project which should be supported by
Louisiana industry in every possible way.
In order to ascertain whether or not a particular manufacturer
listed in our directory is a producer or is only the sales agent
for goods manufactured outside the State, it will be obviously
necessary for us to put a responsible and capable clerk on
Indirect Approach and Grudging Tone
Produce Negative Effect (2 of 2)
the assignment to contact by telephone each manufacturer
listed and to request information direct as to his
classification and the nature of his operations. We are quite
willing to do this, despite our own manpower shortage, in
order to further your project, and in fact we have already
selected the man and assigned his duties to him. He will
start to work at an early date, and we will notify you in due
course as to his progress.
Assuming you of our continued interest, and trusting that
you will not hesitate to call on us in the future at any time we
may be of service to you in any way, we are
Sincerely,
Direct Response – Good Example
Jandrews@mclaughlinbody.com
Manufacturers’ Directory Assistance
Mr. Andrews:
Yes, we’ll gladly help with your manufacturers’ directory, just as you have asked in your
April 12 message.
To get the names and classifications up to the “directory” exactness, Mr. Joseph
McLaughlin, of our own directory staff, has already started a by-name check of each listed
industry. He will label carefully the exact goods produced or processed; and he will mark
the sales agents as such. You can expect his report by the 20th, I’m sure.
Your completed online directory will certainly help Louisiana industry get a measure of itself
and will help to “sell” Louisiana as a ripe field for many types of new enterprises. It’s a fine
job you are taking on. We’ll be glad to see the finished product.
Lisa Miller
Preliminary Considerations in Writing an
Adjustment Grant
 The news is good.
 Something bad has happened, and you are
correcting it.
 But even though the main message is good
news, you have the need to regain lost
confidence.
Directness for an
Adjustment Grant
The message plan:
Opening  Begin directly--with the good news.

 Incidentally identify the message you are
answering.
Body  Avoid negatives that recall the situation being
corrected.
 Regain lost confidence through explanation or
corrective action.
Closing  End with friendly positive words.
Adjustment Grant – Good Example
Katie McPhee
Full credit for suit from Consort
Ms. McPhee:
Crediting your account for $321.40 is Consort’s way of assuring you that your satisfaction is
very important to us.
Because we sincerely want to please, we thoroughly examined the suit you returned to
us. Our investigation showed that the likely cause of the fading was accidental contact
with some form of chemical. We couldn’t determine precisely what the chemical was
or just how contact was made. But we suspect a liquid spill sometime after packaging,
either in our warehouse or during shipment. Such unexpected happenings will occur
in spite of our best precautions. Anyway, we were relieved to know that Consort’s
reputation for quality fabrics and craftsmanship remains good.
We want you to know that we sincerely desire to serve you. And we look forward to
serving you with high-quality Consort suits in the years ahead.
Albert T. Hamm, Manager
Consumer Relations
Preliminary Considerations in Writing an
Order Acknowledgment
 You have received an order.
 Now you must report the status of the order.
 The situation is good news--routine in
business.
 Thus, directness is justified.
Directness for an Order
Acknowledgment
The message plan:
Opening  Give the status of order.

 Include some goodwill—acknowledging incidentally,
reselling, sales talk, or such.
Body  Include a “thank you.”
 If there is a problem (vague order, back order)--
– Some businesses report frankly, assuming some
problems are expected.
– Others prefer to use tactful approach to get needed
information on vague orders, or report back orders.
 Close with adapted, friendly words.
Closing
Good Example of an Order
Acknowledgment Involving a Delay
Krystal Benko
Trevor Hardware Order Confirmation
Mr. Cotton:
By the time you receive this letter, you should have received the assorted pipe you ordered
July 15. As you requested we shipped it by Zephyr Freight, and we will bill you on the first.
As you may know, the J-4 Kotter Pipe Joint Clamps have been a very popular item recently.
We have marked these clamps for rush shipment to you just as soon as our supplies are
replenished. Our plant foreman tells me that his people are working overtime to catch up.
He promises that we will have the clamps on the way to you no later than August 12.
Thank you for giving us another opportunity to serve you with quality Kotter products.
Krystal Benko
Office Manager
Preliminary Considerations in
Making a Claim
 A product or service has given you a problem.
– You are in the right.
– Probably the offending company will want to
correct the matter.
– You want to make a strong claim.
 These three facts of the case support
directness.
Directness in
Making a Claim
The message plan:
Opening  Begin directly. Tell what is wrong.
 Include all necessary facts in the text or in a
subject line.
Body  Explain the facts—enough to permit a decision.
 Seek corrective action, either by
– stating what you want, or
– letting the reader decide what to do.
 End positively—on a friendly but firm note.
Closing
Directness and Courtesy in a Good Claim
Alison Ott
Wrong billing of shipment under Invoice X13771
Ms. Ott:
From your invoice of August 7, I see that you have sent my gifts C.O.D. I need your
friendly help in restoring face.
Please refer to my original order of July 31 (copy attached) to see that the Madam Butterfly
jewel box for Ms. Mary Ellen Bannister and the Piper smoking jacket for Mr. Collis Bannister
were clearly specified for prepaid shipment. You were to include the bill for these items in
the C.O.D. shipment of the Black Diamond desk sent to me.
Please correct this embarrassing error right away. I ask that you write each of the
recipients of my gifts, refunding their money and explaining what happened. Then send
copies of your letters and the total bill to me.
You have my grateful thanks for putting me back in the good graces of the Bannisters.
Helen Toohey
Operational Communications
 The internal communications needed in a

company’s work
– They range widely in formality.
– Most are informal – written directly with
courteous frankness.
– The few formal ones generally follow the pattern
of other formal messages.
chapter seven
Indirectness in Bad-News Messages

Overview
 Why Indirect Order for Bad News Messages
 A General Indirect Order Plan
 Adaptations of the General Plan to Specific
Situations
– Refused Requests
– Adjustment Refusals
– Credit Refusals
– Negative Announcements
Bad News Message Usually in Indirect
Order
 Why?
Bad news is received more positively when
preceded by explanation.
But Exceptions Can Be Made
Examples
 When the message will be routinely accepted
 When you know frankness is wanted
 When goodwill not a concern (a rare case)
The General Indirect Plan
 Begin with a strategic buffer

– Words that set up your strategy and
– Acknowledge any preceding messages
 Develop the strategy
 Present the bad news positively
 End with goodwill, specifically adapted.
Brief Review of a Procedure for a
Refused Request
Preliminary considerations:
 The news is bad.
 The reader wants something; you must refuse.
 Your goals are:
– to say no, and
– to maintain goodwill.
 The first goal is easy; the second requires tact.
 You must present reasons that will convince.
Indirect Plan for Bad News
The message plan:
Opening  Begin with words that identify the subject,
are neutral, and set up the message.
Body  Present reasons using positive language and
you-viewpoint.
 Refuse clearly and positively, embedding
where possible to de-emphasize the
negative.
 Include a counterproposal or compromise
when appropriate.
Closing  End with an adapted goodwill comment.
A Tactful, Courteous Refusal (1 of 2)
Larry_Bragg@sdsu.edu
Request for alumni information
Mr. Bragg,
Your study of the progress of State University graduates is most commendable.
We are pleased that you would ask our help in your efforts.
In reviewing the requirements of your project, we find that it would be necessary

to search through the personnel files of each of our 10,000 employees. As our
regular staff is already working at capacity, may we suggest that we make our
files available to you or your representatives? We ask only that you protect the
confidentially of the information in the files. We would be pleased to give you
working space in the records center. And we would assure you of the
cooperation and assistance of our records personnel.
As another alternative, may we suggest that you use a part-time student worker
who is already acquainted with our files. From time to time, Ms. Mary Mahoney
A Tactful, Courteous Refusal (2 of 2)
Larry_Bragg@sdsu.edu
Request for alumni information
has worked in our records center. And we would assure you of the cooperation
and assistance of our records personnel.
As another alternative, may we suggest that you use a part-time student worker
who is already acquainted with our file system. From time to time, Ms. Mary
Mahoney has worked in our file center. We estimate that she could do your work
in about five weeks, working her customary twenty hours a week. The cost would
be about $900. If you prefer this arrangement, we would be pleased to contact
her for you.
We expect that these suggestions will help you in completing your project. We
look forward to reading the results in the Alumni Bulletin.
Terry
Adjustment Refusals
 The decision has been made to refuse an
unjustified claim.
 The news is bad.
 The goal is to present the bad news in a
positive way.
 Thus, you must think through the situation to
develop a strategy to explain or justify the
decision.
Brief Review of Procedure for
Adjustment Refusals
The message plan:
Opening  Begin with words that
– are on subject,
– are neutral, and
– set up the message.
Body  Present the strategy that will explain or justify.
 Make it factual and positive.
 Lead systematically to the refusal.
 Then refuse--clearly and positively.
Closing  End with off-subject, friendly words.
An Indirect, Courteous, and Clear
Adjustment Refusal (1 of 2)
rjluce@uniquesupplies.com
Special paneling concern
Mr. Luce,
Certainly we understand the concern expressed in your May 11 letter about
getting just the right material for your new office building. We share this
concern with you. And we are determined to do our part about it.
To see whether we have done our part about your special paneling, we reviewed
the facts of the case. We find that your architect specified a most unusual and
distinctive finish. His specifications were in careful detail, and we followed
them to the letter. Although the finished paneling is genuinely beautiful, it is
unique and could not go into our regular stock. For this reason, we feel that
any adjustment in this case must be between you and your architect. I am
confident that you will see the justice in our decision.
We are grateful for the role we have played in constructing your distinctive
building.
An Indirect, Courteous, and Clear
Adjustment Refusal (2 of 2)
rjluce@uniquesupplies.com
Special paneling concern
be between you and your architect. I am confident that you will see the justice
in our decision.
We are grateful for the role we have played in constructing your distinctive
building. We stand ready to meet your future needs to the letter.
Dominic Terrado
Credit Refusals
 Refusals of credit are very negative, tending to
reflect on one’s personal qualities.
 They should be handled tactfully
– because it is the friendly way to do it, and
– because it is profitable.
 Begin by developing an explanation.
– If finances are weak--can be fairly direct.
– If morals are weak--should be tactful.
Brief Review of Procedure for
Credit Refusals
The message plan:
Opening  Begin with words that
– are neutral, and
– tie in with document being answered.
– set up the strategy (explanation).
Body  Present the explanation and/or justification.
 As a logical follow-up--refuse tactfully.
– If to a bad moral risk, may be by implication.
– If to one with weak finances,
• should refuse positively, and
• look hopefully to the future.
Closing  Close with goodwill words that fit the one case and
are friendly and forward-looking.
Tact in a Credit Refusal (1 of 3)
Opening
Dear Ms. Herrera:
Your March 29 order and accompanying request
for credit were genuinely appreciated. We are
Click to view full
letter at once.
especially grateful for your pleasant frankness in
presenting your request for credit. The
statements, trade references, and explanations
were most helpful.
Body
In checking over them, we find that you have an
unusually heavy burden of invoices to pay within
the next few months. As we see it, burdening
you with more bills to pay at this time simply
would not make good business sense. Thus, we
can sell to you only for cash now. By buying for
cash and taking advantage of the cash discount,
you would be taking a sound step toward
improving the financial health of your business.
Just as soon as your situation is improved, we
shall open your account.
Closing
We look forward to receiving your check for
$730.69 ($745.60 less the $14.91 discount).
When we get it, we’ll rush your merchandise to
you.
Sincerely,
Susan Yassine
Susan Yassine
Refusal Strategy Adapted to Another
Situation – Refusal of a Discount
Jason Mertz
Payment on Invoice C2008
Mr. Mertz:
Thank you for your check for $945.07 on Invoice C 2008.
Although it is a small matter, I feel that you will want to look over this invoice.
Probably you just looked at the wrong column, but you will see that you wrote
the check for the amount less the discount. As you know, the discount is
allowed only when payment is made within ten days of billing. As Invoice C2008
is now 45 days past this date, we are crediting your account with $945.07,
leaving an unpaid balance of $29.23. I am confident you will understand.
Working with you and your excellent organization, Mr. Mertz, is always a
pleasure. We look forward to serving you again real soon.
Ray Rojas
Negative Announcements
 They are the presentations of bad news to

customers or employees.
– Generally, they follow the indirect pattern –
especially if news is very disappointing.
– Thus, they follow the strategies previously
reviewed.
Typical Indirect Strategy for Negative
Announcements
The message plan:
Opening  Start with a buffer that sets up an
explanation of the bad news.
Body  Present the justification.
 Cover the bad news positively but
clearly.
 Help resolve any problem the bad news
creates.
Closing  End with appropriate goodwill.
Direct Negative Announcements
 Sometimes justified
– if news is expected
– when news is insignificant
– when news may have positive possibilities
chapter eight
Indirectness in Persuasive
Messages

Indirectness in Persuasive Messages
 Advice about persuasion

 Persuasive requests
 Sales messages
Advice about Persuasion (1 of 5)
 Know your readers.

 Choose and develop targeted reader benefits.
 Make good use of persuasive appeals.
 Make it easy for readers to comply.
Know Your Readers (2 of 5)
 Especially important with persuasion

 Can use formally gathered information
(marketing reports, surveys, focus groups)
 Can gather information informally (study
customer notes, talk with service personnel
and other employees, look at other messages
that have succeeded)
Choose Winning Reader Benefits (3 of 5)
 These can be
– Tangible
– Intangible
 They can also be
– Intrinsic
– Extrinsic
Use Winning Appeals (4 of 5)
 Logic based (logos)

 Emotion based (pathos)
 Character based (ethos)
Make It Easy for Readers to Comply (5 of 5)
 Don’t neglect the action part of the message.

 Make the desired action clear.
 Make the desired action as easy as possible to
perform.
Persuasive Requests (1 of 2)
 Your goal is to ask for something the reader is
likely to oppose.
 You must develop a strategy that will convince
the reader to comply.
Procedure for Writing a
Persuasive Request (2 of 2)
The message plan:
Opening  Open with words that
– set up the strategy, and
– gain attention.
Body  Present the strategy (the persuasion), using
persuasive language and you-viewpoint.
 As a logical follow-up, make the request
clearly and without negatives.
 End the message with the request or with
Closing words that recall the appeal.
Good Strategy in a
Opening
Dear Ms. McLaughlin:
I’m sure you’d agree that business
communication teachers need to be in
touch with business experts in the field.
Experienced professionals like you can
give teachers the realistic input that is so
important to their practical coursework.
Good Strategy in a
Body
For this reason, I believe that you could make
an important contribution to the national
meeting of the Association for Business
Communication, which will be held in New
Orleans at the Sheraton Hotel, October 28-31.
This conference brings together about 300
business communication professors from
around the US and the world who are looking
for ways to keep their teaching abreast of
current practice. Your perspective could be
especially valuable to them.
Good Strategy in a
Body continued
Could you join us on Friday afternoon from
2:00 to 2:45 pm to tell us about your work as a
correspondence supervisor at Winn Dixie?
What common writing problems do you see,
and what you think we should be doing in the
colleges to help our students avoid them?
How can we better prepare our students for
writing in the workplace? Any insights you
could share on these and related topics would
be much appreciated.
Good Strategy in a
Body continued
You would not need to prepare a formal
presentation. In fact, anecdotes and
examples from your work would be
preferred. You could speak for about 30
minutes, leaving 15 minutes for
discussion. Since your talk would be one
of several break-out sessions, it would be
attended by 30-40 people, making for a
relaxed, conversational atmosphere.
Good Strategy in a
Closing
Will you please share your experiences
and advice with us? By doing so, you will
help us help hundreds of business-writing
students. Since I will be compiling the
final program on the 15th, please let me
know by the 10th if you can join us.
Sincerely,
Why Write Sales Messages?
 Sales techniques are useful in your other

activities:
– in writing other messages
– in actual sales work
– in selling yourself
Questioning the Ethics of Sales Messages
 Sales messages can be unwanted.

– “Junk” mail
– SPAM
 Sales messages can use unfair tactics.
– Deceptive wording
– Deceptive or manipulative visuals
 Put yourself in the reader’s shoes and let your
conscience be your guide.
Preliminary Steps to
Sales Writing
 Learn the product or service you sell.
– how it is made
– how it works
– what it will do
 Learn about the prospective customers.
– their economic status
– their nationalities
– their ages
– etc.
Determining the Central Appeal
Three kinds:
 Emotional
– appeals to the senses (feeling, tasting, smelling, hearing)
 Logical
– appeals to the thinking mind (saving money, making
money, doing a better job, getting better use)
 Character based
– uses the writer or spokesperson’s voice and projected
image to win trust and invite readers to identify with the
speaker
Determining the Makeup of the Mailing
 Sales messages can have many pieces:

– Main message
– Cover envelope
– Return envelope
– Payment form
– Brochures/attachments
– Free gift, etc.
 As you plan your contents,
– Plan which pieces you will use
– Plan how they will work together
Organization of the
Sales Message
 Many variations are used.
– whatever works
 But there is this conventional pattern:
– gain attention
– create desire
– cover all necessary information
– drive for the sale
– possibly add a postscript
Conventional Organization Pattern of the
Sales Message in Detail
The message plan:
Opening  Begin with words that set up the sales
presentation and gain attention.
Body  Present the sales message using

imagination, persuasive language, and
you-viewpoint.
 Include sufficient information to
convince.
Closing  Then drive for the sale, making it clear,

and using appropriate strength.
 Urge immediate action.
 May recall basic appeal in final words.
A Logic-Based Sales Message
(1 of 4)
Opening
Would you like to save up to 12 cents
a gallon on your bill for fuel oil?
Does your monthly oil bill make you wince?
Wouldn’t you like to beat the high cost of
heating--cut your annual fuel bill by as much
as 30-40 percent? Then I think you’ll be
interested in our Catalytic Carburetor
Assembly. Complete details are yours for the
asking . . . as explained below.
(2 of 4)
Body
Installed on your present oil burner, the Catalytic
Carburetor Assembly permits burning of the
present type of catalytic fuel oil at highest
efficiency . . . and with a clean fire. What’s more,
it easily pays for itself in fuel oil savings and
brings your burner completely up to date. A little
simple arithmetic with your current oil bill will
show you how substantial these savings are.
Figure you might save up to 12 cents on every
gallon, and see what a difference that makes.
(3 of 4)
Body continued
But there’s no need to take our say-so about the
savings you can make--because we back our
Catalytic Carburetor Assembly with a written money-
back guarantee. Your can’t lose--you either get the
savings we guarantee, or the assembly is removed
and your money refunded in full.
Scores of satisfied users throughout the state are
enjoying more efficient, more economical heating--
thanks to the Catalytic Carburetor Assembly. We
believe that you, too, would benefit by installing this
device on your oil burner.
(4 of 4)
Closing
To receive full information on the Catalytic
Carburetor and how it can save fuel dollars,
just check the enclosed postage-paid card for
correctness and drop it in the mail. I’ll see to
it that you get complete details right away . . .
without cost or obligation.
Sincerely,
A Message Selling
Quality Candy (1 of 4)
Opening
Dear Ms. Wingler:
Soon your clientele and new customers will
be coming to your shop for the new, exciting
Bonnes Bouchées. Get ready to answer all
their demands for this nationally advertised
candy now!
A Message Selling
Body
Bonnes Bouchées, made in the French manner,
are going on the market in exclusive shops soon.
The success of an advertising campaign in New
Yorker and Ladies Home Journal magazines has
speeded up our constantly stirring mixing bowl—to
fill all reorders. Distinctive Bonnes Bouchées are
fast—they speed from our kitchen to your shop,
pause on your shelf only long enough to get
tagged, then dash on to the customer. Refill orders
and adjustments are given quick attention.
A Message Selling
Body continued
Pick the candies you want from the six kinds
pictured in the enclosed brochure. You’ll find
wholesale prices, order blanks, and a postage-paid
envelope addressed to us there, too. Look at the
“special” day features. Would you like to have the
Easter display sent with your first order?
Templates for newspaper advertising are sent to
you free. These individual templates and our
national magazine advertising are your grateful
salespeople. They’ll keep demand for Bonnes
Bouchées among your customers.
A Message Selling
Closing
Send your order for fast-moving Bonnes
Bouchées today! Your customers will be the
first in Ohio to sample these new-fashioned
candies.
Sincerely,
Opens with an
attention-getter
Reasons stress
reader benefit
Call for action is
clear and easy
Postscript adds
that extra punch
Opt-out
message
include
d
chapter ten
Basics of Report Writing

Overview
 Define report writing.
 Identify and state the problem.
 Determine the factors.
 Gather information.
 Interpret the data.
 Organize the findings.
 Create topic and talking headings.
 Write the report.
 Collaborate effectively.
What is a report?
An orderly and objective communication of

factual information that serves a business
purpose.
Determine the Report Purpose
 Conduct a preliminary investigation

– Gather facts to better understand the problem
– Consult many sources
 State the problem in writing
– To serve as a record
– To allow others to review it
– To force yourself to get the problem clearly in
mind
State the Problem in One of
Three Ways
 Infinitive phrase:
"To measure the effect of radio spot advertising
on X company sales"
 Question:
"What are the effects on X company sales of radio
spot advertising?"
 Declarative statement:
"Company X wants to know how a spot
advertising campaign will affect its sales."
Determine the Factors
Types of Factors
 Subtopics in informational and some
analytical reports
 Hypotheses in problem-solving situations
 Bases of comparison in evaluative reports
State the Problem and Factors
Using the Infinitive Form with Subtopics
A consumer research organization plans to test three leading

low-priced automobiles in an effort to determine which one is
the best buy as a family car for the typical American consumer.
Problem statement
To determine which of three economy cars is the best buy for
the American Consumer
Factors
Durability Original and trade-in costs
Operating costs Repairs
Comfort Safety
Using the Question Form with Subtopics
A national chain of dress shops wants to learn what qualities to

seek in hiring sales personnel.
Problem statement
What qualities determine the successful salespeople for X Dress
Shop?
Factors
Education
Cultural background
Experience
Vital statistics (age, height, weight, marital status, religion, etc.)
Personal qualities (personality, character, etc.)
Using the Question Form with Subtopics
A daily newspaper wants to know how well the various types of

items in a typical issue are read.
Problem statement
What is the readership of the types of items in a typical issue of
X newspaper?
Factors
Probably such a study would involve an item-by-item survey.
The items would be classified by types, which would be the
factors of the problem.
World news Local news Society
Editorials Sports Comics
Using the Question Form with Hypotheses
You’ve been assigned the problem of determining why sales at

the Moline store have declined.
Problem statement
Why have sales declined at the Moline store?
Factors
Activities of the competition may have caused the decline.
Changes in the economy of the area may have caused the
decline.
Merchandising deficiencies may have caused the decline.
Changes in the economic environment may have caused the
decline.
Using the Infinitive Form with Bases of Comparison
A major soap manufacturer wishes to determine which of three

cities would be best for a new factory.
Problem statement
To determine whether Y company’s new factory should be built
in City A, City B, or City C.
Factors
Availability of labor Nearness to markets
Abundance of raw material Power supply
Tax structure Community attitude
Transportation facilities
Gather Information
 Primary  Secondary
– Observation – Library
– Experiments – Online
– Surveys – Company records
• Telephone (interpreted data)
• Mail/Email
• Web surveys
• Interviews
(personal, expert)
– Company records
(raw data)
Interpret the Data
Advice for Avoiding Human Error
 Report the facts as they are.

 Draw conclusions only when appropriate.
 Do not interpret lack of evidence as proof to the
contrary.
 Be sure your data are comparable.
 Be sure you draw only logical conclusions.
 Be sure the data are reliable and representative.
 Give attention to all important facts.
 Tailor your claims to your data.
Attitudes and Practices Conducive
to Sound Interpreting
 Maintain a judicial attitude.
 Consult with others.
 Test the interpretations.
– 1.Test of Experience
“Is this conclusion logical in light of all I know?”
– 2.Negative Test
Examine the opposite interpretation--build a case
for it.
Use of Statistical Tools in
Interpretation
 Statistical tools enable writers to simplify
data.
 Most readers can understand descriptive
statistics.
 Writers should explicitly explain more
sophisticated statistical techniques.
A Logical Conclusion?
Q. A study produced data that showed United States
college students to be far behind their comparable
groups in European countries. The conclusion was
made that the educational systems in these
European countries are superior to that in the
United States.
A. The education systems are not comparable. The
United States is committed to a system of
educating the masses. Many of the other countries
maintain a system of highly selective education.
Q. The editor of a leading magazine for businesspeople
reported that unsolicited email she had received
from her readers justified a conclusion that the
public favored stronger government controls over
unions.
A. Does the editor receive mail from readers
representative of the public? More than likely the
group writing her consists of limited segments of
the total population.
Q. A campus survey at a Midwestern university showed
that 92 percent of the students of the Christian
faiths favored a certain issue, but only 33 percent of
Hindu students favored the matter. The conclusion
reached was that Christians and Hindus were far
apart on this matter.
A. The statistics for Hindu students were based on
unreliable data. Since few Hindu students attend
our universities, most likely the sample was small.
Q. A report writer found data showing that sales of soft
drinks were correlated with vacation travel. She
concluded that soft drink sales were heavily
affected by vacations.
A. Probably both are related to seasonal factors. They
have no cause-effect relationship.
Organize the Information
An organization plan
 serves as a blueprint for the report
 ensures order in the report
 provides headings for use in the report
 enables you to share your plan with others
 can be changed as your report develops
One Option:
Conventional Outline Form
I. First-level heading
A. Second-level heading
B. Second-level heading
1. Third-level heading
2. Third-level heading
a. Fourth-level
(1) Fifth-level
(a) Sixth-level
II. First-level heading
A. Second-level heading
B. Second-level heading
Etc.
Another Option:
The Decimal System
1.0 First-level heading

1.1 Second-level heading
1.2. Second-level heading
1.2.1 Third-level heading
1.2.2 Third-level heading
1.2.2.1 Fourth-level
2.0 First-level heading
Etc.
Procedure for Constructing an Outline
by Process of Division (1 of 3)
I. Step 1
Introduction
Divide the whole into
II. comparable parts. This gives
the Roman number parts of
III. the outline. Usually an
introduction begins the
IV. outline. Some combination
of summary, conclusion,
recommendation ends it.
V.
Procedure for Constructing an Outline by
Process of Division (2 of 3)
I. A
B Step 2
C
II. A Divide each roman section.

B This gives the A., B, C headings.
III. A
B
C
IV. A
. B
V. A
B
Procedure for Constructing an Outline by
Process of Division (3 of 3)
I. A Step 3
B
C Then divide each A, B, C
1
II. A 2 heading. This gives the 1,
B 2,3 headings.
III. A
B
C Continue dividing as long
IV. A as it is practical to do so.
1
B 2
3
V. A
12
B
General Bases for Division
 Time
 Place
 Quantity
 Factor
Organization of a Report on the
History of Manufacturing in New York
Main Heading Possibilities (1 of 4)
Organization by time
I. Introduction
II. Before 1750
III. 1750-1800
IV. 1801-1850
V. Etc.
Organization by place
I. Introduction
II. Northern region
III. Eastern region
IV. Southern region
V. Etc.
Organization by quantity
I. Introduction
II. More than 500 employees
III. 20-500 employees
IV. Less than 20 employee
V. Conclusion
Organization by factors
I. Introduction
II. Textiles
III. Foods
IV. Furniture
V. Etc.
Combination Division Forms
First division by time; second division by time
I.Introduction
II.Before 1750
A. 1630-1680
B. 1681-1710
C. 1711-1750
III.1751-1800
A. 1751-1780
B. 1781-1800
IV.Etc.
First division by time; second division by place
I.Introduction
II.Before 1750
A. Northern region
B. Eastern region
C. Southern region
D. Western region
III.1751-1800
A. Northern region
B. Etc.
First division by time; second division by factor
 I.Introduction
 II.Before 1750
A. Food
B. Chemicals
C. Textiles
D. Etc.
 III.1751-1800
A. Food
B. Chemicals
C. Etc.
 IV.Etc.
Topic or Talking Headings? (1 of 2)
Topic headings only identify the topics.

I. Population
A.Houston
B.Springfield
C.San Diego
II. Income
A.Houston
B.Springfield
C.San Diego
Topic or Talking Headings? (2 of 2)
Talking headings identify the topic and say

something about it.
I. Growing population signals market growth

A.Houston leads the nation
B.Springfield has steadiest increase
C.San Diego maintains status quo
Wording of Headings
 Parallel Construction
 Conciseness in Wording
 Variety of Expression
Parallelism in Construction of Headings
Equal level headings should be in the same grammatical

format—for example, all noun phrases, all sentences, or all
truncated (headline-style) sentences.
 Noun Phrase
– “High Rate of Sales in District III”
 Sentence
– “District II Sales Rank Second”
 Truncated Sentence
– “District I at Bottom”
Point out any violations of grammatical parallelism in
the following subheads of major division of a
report.
I.Sporting Goods Show Large Increase

II.Modest Increase in Hardware Volume
III.Automotive Parts Remain Unchanged
IV.Plumbing Supplies Decline Slightly.
Point out any violations of grammatical parallelism in
the following subheads of major division of a
report.
A. Predominance of Cotton Farming

in Southern Region
B. Livestock Paces Farm Income in
the Western Region
C. Wheat Crop Dominant in the
Northern Region
D. Truck Farming Leads in Central and
Eastern Regions
Conciseness in Wording
Headings should be as short as possible while still

conveying clear meaning.
Not this:
Personal appearance enhancement is the most
desirable benefit of lasik surgery that patients
report.
But this:
Personal appearance most desirable benefit
Variety of Expression
Replace monotonous repetitions of words in topic
headings with a variety of words.
Not this:
– Illinois Computer Sales
– New York Computer Sales
– Washington Computer Sales
But this:
– Illinois Ranks First in Industry Sales
– New York Maintains Second Position
– Washington Posts Third Slot
Write the Report
 Put the report in context with your beginning

and ending.
 Be objective.
– Believability
– Impersonal vs. personal writing
 Maintain a consistent time viewpoint.
 Use smooth transitions.
 Maintain interest.
Beginnings and Endings
 A good beginning . . .
– states the subject of the report
– reveals what kind of data it is based upon
– indicates its likely significance to the reader
 A good ending . . .
– may summarize; or summarize and interpret; or
summarize, interpret, and recommend—
depending on the reader
– must make the informational “gist” clear
– must make the contents’ significance clear
Impersonal vs. Personal Styles (1 of 2)
Impersonal
With the Jones project completed, work now is
continuing on the next annual report, with a
special focus on the new high-temperature
technique.
Personal
During the first week of the period, I was
completing the Jones project. I now am writing a
description of the new high-temperature
technique for the next annual report.
Impersonal vs. Personal Styles (2 of 2)
Impersonal
The current period has been devoted to training on
the use of the new equipment.
Personal
I have spent the current period getting trained on
using the new equipment.
Maintain Logic and Consistency
in Time Viewpoint (1 of 4)
Avoid Illogical Time Shifts
Almost 37 percent of the merchants

interviewed favored the Wilson plan. Only 14
percent of them prefer the Borden plan.
Consistent Past
Since Dixie Cola was produced and distributed
in the South, there was little difficulty in
establishing its identity in that region.
Strong markets were designated as those that
required little or no logical adaptation of
commercials. Mississippi, Louisiana, and
Alabama fell in that category.
Consistent Present
Since Dixie Cola is produced and distributed in
the south, there is little difficulty in
establishing its identity in that region.
Strong markets are designated as those that
require little or no local adaptation of
commercials. Mississippi, Louisiana, and
Alabama fall in that category.
Maintain Logic and Consistency in
Time Viewpoint (4 of 4)
Logical Shifts Are Appropriate
Of the merchants interviewed, 54 percent feel
that such legislation is needed. Only 33
percent held this position a scant three years
ago. Current indications are that the number
favoring the bill will be much greater within
another three years.
Transitions are Bridges for Moving the
Reader Through Your Report
Transition Transition
Idea Idea Idea Etc.

Use of Transition Words
to Relate Paragraphs
End of paragraph . . . which makes these visuals among the simplest to construct.
Beginning of next Even though the line graphs are simple, three errors commonly are
paragraph made in constructing them. One is the common violation of zero
origin. The Y scale (vertical axis) must . . .
Beginning of next Second is the error of representing both X and Y scales on the grid
paragraph by unequal distances. Any deviation from . . .
Beginning of next A third error concerns the determination of proportions of the . . .

paragraph
End of paragraph . . . clearly is the most economical to operate.
Beginning of next In spite of its economy, the Xerox copier presents a major
paragraph disadvantage. It has the highest breakdown record of the
machines tested. In fact, over the past seven months. . .
Transition Though Word Connection (1 of
2)
 Wormy oranges dumped from a passing ship floated

ashore in Texas. Consequently, another battle had
to be waged against the Mediterranean fruit fly.
 Transitional elements are essential to understanding.
They are the mortar that hold bricks of thought
together.
 Before buying plants, be sure you know which
varieties are adapted to your area. Adapted
varieties usually are sold by local nurseries.
Transition Though Word Connection (2 of
2)
 A knowledge of your subject, a familiarity with

words, and a compassion for your reader--all are
essential to clear exposition.
 In early spring, prepare the soil. After the soil
warms, drill the seed at a rate of ten pounds per
acre.
Maintain Interest
 Select words carefully.

 Watch the rhythm of expression.
 Stress content over techniques.
 Be complete without using more words than
necessary.
Sequence of Activities Involved in
Collaborative Writing Projects
1. Determine Purpose
2. Identify Factors
3. Gather Facts
4. Interpret Facts
5. Organize Facts
6. Plan the Writing
7. Write Assigned Parts
8. Revise Collaboratively
9. Edit Final Draft
chapter eleven
Short Reports and Proposals

Overview
 Influence of length and formality on report

structure
 Characteristics of short reports
 Direct and indirect order for organizing short
reports
 Forms of short reports (based on medium)
 Types of short reports (based on purpose)
 Proposal types, format, and contents
Length and Formality Determine
Report Structure
 Long problems and formal contexts require a
more complex structure
 Short problems and informal contexts need a
simpler structure
High formality
1st Title Title Letter Table
Executive
Fly Page of of
Summary THE REPORT PROPER
Lev- Trans. Contents
el Letter Table
Title Executive
2nd Page
of of
Summary THE REPORT PROPER
Trans. Contents
Level
Title Table Combination
3rd Level Page of Transmittal/ THE REPORT PROPER
Contents Exec.Sum.
Title Combination
4th Level Transmittal/
Page Exec.Sum.
THE REPORT PROPER
Title
5th Level Page
THE REPORT PROPER
6th Level LETTER REPORT
EMAIL
7th Level REPORT
Low formality
Characteristics of Short Reports
 Little need for introductory information

 Predominance of direct order
 More personal writing style
 Less need for a structured coherence plan
Illustration of an Email Report,
Direct Order (1 of 3)
Jeff T. Koontz
Quality of Plant Fire Protection
Recommended action.
My investigation of the quality of fire protection at the plant supports these

recommendations:
1. That the Safety Supervisor conduct training sessions for each fire
brigade until it is thoroughly trained.
2. That monthly practice runs be scheduled for all fire brigades.
3. That an alarm bell be placed outside the Shift Maintenance office in
Building 135.
4. That four standard fire extinguishers be placed in Building 135.
5. That the entire plant be inspected to determine the adequacy of fire
extinguishers.
Purpose of investigation.
These recommendations are based on information gathered from my
investigation following the fire in the Calcination Department, Building 133, last
July 14. As you will recall, you asked me to look into the quality of our fire
protection. Following are my findings.
Training deficiency of fire brigade.
Although they worked hard to put out the fire, the fire brigade was not effective.
It was obvious to all present at the scene (including brigade members) that the
brigade had not been trained properly. Brigade members had difficulty working
the pump and generally did not perform as a coordinated unit.
Inadequacy of alarm system.
The plant alarm was not heard in Building 135 (the fire brigade work area). A
telephone call was needed to alert brigade members. Thus, about seven
minutes were lost before fire-fighting work began.
Shortage of fire extinguishers.
The supply of fire extinguishers in the fire area was inadequate. So brigade
members had to go to other work areas to find the fire extinguishers. The
result was a loss of valuable fire-fighting time and unnecessary fire damage.
Informal reports received from workers in other parts of the plant indicate that
the shortage of fire extinguishers is plantwide.
Illustration of a Memorandum Report,
Indirect Order (1 of 3)
Jeff T. Koontz
Quality of Plant Fire Protection
Introduction.
Following the fire in the Calcination Department July 14, you instructed me to
investigate the quality of our fire protection. My investigations revealed the
following deficiencies.
Training deficiency of fire brigade.
Although they worked hard to put out the fire, the fire brigade was not effective.
It was obvious to all present at the scene (including brigade members) that the
brigade had not been trained properly. Brigade members had difficulty working
the pump and generally did not perform as a coordinated unit.
Inadequacy of alarm system.
The plant alarm was not heard in Building 135 (the fire brigade work area).
A telephone call was needed to alert brigade members. Thus, about seven
minutes were lost before fire-fighting work began.
Shortage of fire extinguishers.
The supply of fire extinguishers in the fire area was inadequate. So brigade
members had to go to other work areas to find the fire extinguishers. The
result was a loss of valuable fire-fighting time and unnecessary fire
damage. Informal reports received from workers in other parts of the plant
indicate that the shortage of fire extinguishers is plantwide.
Recommended actions.
Based on the information reported , I make these recommendations:
1. That the Safety Supervisor conduct training sessions for each fire
brigade until it is thoroughly trained.
2. That monthly practice runs be scheduled for all fire brigades.
3. That an alarm bell be placed outside the Shift Maintenance office
in Building 135.
4. That four standard fire extinguishers be placed in Building135.
5. That the entire plant be inspected to determine the adequacy of
fire extinguishers.
Minutes of meeting
1. Written records of a meeting
2. Give overview or structure of a meeting, starting with a list of
those present, statement of various issues before participants,
and their respective responses
3. It should mention name along with designations
4. Records all decisions
5. Resolutions adopted or decisions made
6. Meeting ends with a vote of thanks
Format of minutes of meeting
Forms of Short Reports
 Short Report
 Letter Report
 Email Report
Common Types of Reports
 Routine Operational Report

 Progress Report
 Problem-Solving Report
 Audit Report
 Meeting Minutes
Proposals
 Like reports, are usually well researched

 Like reports, can range widely in format,
length, and formality
 Unlike reports, are overtly persuasive
Types of Proposals
 Internal or external
 Solicited or unsolicited
Typical Proposal Contents
 Writer’s purpose and reader’s need
 Background
 Need (elaborated)
 Description of plan
 Benefits of the proposed plan
 Particulars (logistics)
 Evidence of ability to deliver (credentials)
 Concluding comments

Writing Messages, Reports, Proposal, Formats C

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Writing Messages, Reports, Proposal, Formats C

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chapter two

Adaptation and the

McGraw-Hill/Irwin © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

Write for the bottom level.

Technical Language Improved Version

. . . make a classification . . . . . . classify . . .

McGraw-Hill/Irwin © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

 Role of adaptation in writing clearly

Writing clearly generally involves writing

You can write short sentences in two ways:

I should appreciate first obtaining clearance from your bureau.

 Regardless of the fact that sales increased, profits continue to

 At whatever time we receive a special order it is immediately

 Contrary to our expectations, the new law will allow the

 In some instances, we sell directly to the retailer.

 Your attention is directed to paragraph 3, which summarizes

 Enclosed herewith are general instructions which are sent to

 On the date of March 1, all reports must be ready for the

 Enclosed herewith are two copies of the status report.

 All the books are in readiness for the annual audit.

 The charge of negligence has been denied by all four of the

 It is our expectation that this plan will be successful.

 We are in receipt of your report.

 Your attention is invited to the contents of

 We are not in a position to stop the trend.

 Please find enclosed a list of applicants.

 This change will enable us to get started sooner than if we

 At the present time the research is almost complete.

 You must do and perform the following duties and functions.

 The manager repeatedly kept telling me over and over again.

 This situation calls for quick and expeditious action.

 Write sentences that give their contents

The main building was inspected on October 1. Mr. George

Mr. George Wills, who inspected the main building on

 I rented offices in Marina Towers, a downtown office building.

 Because our inventories have decreased has increased

 Helping people to help themselves is how I got the job

 The fact that sales increased is because we opened new

This paragraph inserts information about personal

Heavy paragraphs make Short paragraphs give

This paragraph tells more than the reader needs to know:

Only this information is really necessary:

Please come by my office at your earliest convenience to correct

Writing for Effect

McGraw-Hill/Irwin © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

 Effective business writing sometimes must

Show courtesy by doing more than expected.

Show courtesy by being sincere.

Honestly want to be courteous and friendly.

Topic A receives more

Emphasis by Sentence Structure

Emphasis by Sentence Structure

Emphasis by Sentence Structure

Show coherence through tie-in sentences.

Abrupt Shift: The facts in every case are different.

Show coherence through tie-in sentences.

Show coherence through tie-in sentences.

Abrupt Shift: The checks you authorized us to make

Show coherence through the use of pronouns.

 If you think Mr. James is most interested in the conclusion,

McGraw-Hill/Irwin © 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved.

 The Writing Process

 Planning the Message

 Drafting the Message