What is Body Language?

In a face-to-face meeting, part of the

communication is carried in a non-verbal
form, what is often called body language.
Why is body language so important?
There are two principal reasons:

 People remember more of what they see than

what they hear.

 Through life experience, we have learned,

perhaps unconsciously, that people often lie with
words, but facial expressions and other body
language tend to be more honest.

When a person's words and body language are

consistent, we believe that person.
 The Vocabulary Of Body Language

1. Positive Body Language

Positive body language is generally quite reliable as
an indicator of a person's feelings. It signals interest
in the other person and in the conversation.

 Relaxed posture
Comfortably seated, relaxed breathing, no visible
stiffness or abrupt movements. These indicate no
major barriers to communication.

 Arms relaxed
Uncrossed arms and open hands (palms up or
otherwise visible to the other person) are signs of
openness.
 Good eye contact
Looking in the other person's eyes, particularly
when he is speaking, indicates interest in that
person. Proper eye contact involves looking away
occasionally to avoid staring.

 Nodding agreement
When nods are used to punctuate key things the
other person has said, they signal agreement,
interest and understanding. However, continual
unconscious bobbing of the head usually indicates
that the listener is tuning out.

 Taking notes
Shows interest and involvement, particularly if
notes are on what the other person is saying.
 Smiling
This is a very positive sign. It signals a warm,
personal relationship.

 Leaning closer  
Reducing the distance between two people,
particularly when the other person is speaking,
indicates interest is up and barriers are down.

 Gesturing warmly
Talking with hands, particularly with palms open,
indicates involvement in the conversation and
openness to the other person.

For all of these positive gestures, moderation is the

rule. When they are exaggerated, they can become
more negative than positive.
 2. Negative Body Language
Actions that are generally considered negative may
just be a matter of comfort for this person, may
indicate that the person is tired, or may result from
other matters that are weighing on this person's
mind.

 Tense body
Stiffness, wrinkled brow, jerky body motion, hands
clasped in front or palms down on the table.

 Arms folded in front

This creates a barrier and can express resistance to
what is being said.

 Hand on face
A hand over one's mouth is a closed gesture.
Leaning on one's elbow with the chin in the hand
can communicate boredom.
 Fidgeting
Moving around a lot, playing with things and drumming
fingers are usually signs of boredom, nervousness or
impatience.

 Arms behind head, leaning back

In a well-established relationship, this can be a relaxed
gesture. In a new relationship, it is often used to express a
desire for control or power.

 Yawning
This signals boredom or confusion. The other person is
talking too much or in too much technical detail.

 Impatience
Some signs are trying to interrupt what the other person is
saying or opening one's mouth frequently as if to speak.
 Distraction
Eyes flicking about, blank stares, flipping through
literature without really reading it, looking at others
in the office or looking at the person's body or
clothing all represent distraction.

 Leaning away
Avoiding moving closer, even when something is
handed to the person, is strongly negative.

 Negative facial expressions

These include shaking head, eyes narrowed,
scowling.
Using Body Language Effectively
There are two ways you can use body language
to enhance your face-to-face meetings:

1. Observe the customer's body language.

2. Control your body language.
 1. Observing The Customer's Body Language

 From the moment you greet the customer, observe

the customer's body language.

 At the beginning of the meeting, it is normal for

customers to appear somewhat reserved or nervous.

 If this is a new relationship, the customer may not

be ready to trust you yet.

 As the meeting progresses, the customer should

normally warm up and begin to display more open
body language.

 Pay particular attention to any changes in the

customer's body language, both positive and
negative.
 Positive moves are buying signals -- you are on
the right track and should keep going in the
direction where you are headed.

 Negative moves are objections. They mean that

you and the customer are beginning to diverge.
Stop the track you are on, and get back in sync
with the customer.

 If the customer's body language is expressing

discomfort or disagreement with what you are
saying, you need to uncover the basis for the
customer's discomfort and restore the positive
track.

 If the customer is dropping out of the

conversation, it is time to stop talking and ask an
open-ended question to get the customer
involved again.
 2. Controlling Your Own Body Language
One person's body language unconsciously
influences how the other person in a meeting feels.

Speak a familiar language

 Maintain good posture, sitting erect but not stiff.
Hands should be visible and open.

 Avoid closed gestures, such as crossing your arms

across your chest.

 Smile.

 Maintain eye contact, particularly while the

customer is speaking. This says you care about
what the customer is saying. To avoid staring, look
away occasionally to take notes or to look at
materials the customer has brought.
 Focus your attention on the customer. Avoid
fidgeting or letting your eyes wander while the
customer is speaking. These actions will draw the
customer's attention away from the conversation
and suggest you would rather be somewhere
else.

 Nod agreement. This is positive if you do it

convincingly and in appropriate places. If you do
it automatically, it says you are not listening.

 Occasionally express agreement verbally to

reinforce nods.
 Reflect the customer's language

Make customers feel more comfortable at first by

matching their body language.

For example:
 If the customer's body language is very open, match it.

 If it is reserved or nervous, tone down your enthusiasm

a bit to make the customer more comfortable.

 If the customer prefers to maintain some distance,

avoid moving too closely.

 If the customer moves slowly and makes few gestures,

avoid extensive gesturing and quick movements.
 Using Body Language To Influence The
Way The Customer Feels
 Start with body language that is generally considered to be
positive.

 Carefully observe the customer's body language.

 Alter your body language to more closely match the

customer's.

 During the meeting, if you think a more positive tone is

desirable, gradually change your body language to be more
positive in order to influence the way the customer feels.

 Always make positive transitions in your body language while

the customer is speaking. This says you support the
customer's ideas and feelings. If you make changes when
you begin to speak, it may say that you are trying to take
control.
 Additional Body Language Techniques

1. Match your words and body language

 The customer will trust you less if you attempt to

use body language that differs markedly from
what you are saying.
 If you are honest in both, and use both to
express your sincere interest in helping the
customer.
 2. Maintain the right distance
People have a comfort zone for how close they
want other people to come; only people they feel
very comfortable with are allowed to penetrate
within a certain distance. Follow these guidelines
to maintain a comfortable distance:

 Follow the customer's lead. From the moment

you greet customers, watch where they stand.
This will tell you how close to approach. If they
back away a bit after the handshake, maintain a
greater distance.

 Don't tower over the customer. If you are

much taller than the customer, be especially
careful to keep a comfortable distance. Once you
are seated and the customer communicates more
openness, you can begin to approach more
closely.
 Be careful about touching. A firm, brief
handshake is always acceptable for greeting
someone you do not know well. Other touching is
uncomfortable for many people.

 Move closer together at an appropriate time.

This is valuable in strengthening the positive
relationship. But when you move closer to the
customer, do it for a reason:

 1. You can move closer to the customer to look at a

document together, like a brochure.

 2. If the customer begins to lean closer, expressing

positive energy towards you, it is OK for you to lean
closer as well.